GRIMCUTTY

grimcutty

Spread by hysteria, an Internet demon targets the kids and teens of suburban America. As they fall prey to the Grimcutty challenge – a thing that never gets less stupid the more you hear it – the tormented children begin grimly cutting themselves, and others, to death. Can ASMR vlogger Asha (Sara Wolfkind) break the pattern before Grimcutty claims her for himself? And has writer/director John Ross actually been on the Internet in the past five years?

Treading a similar path to The Ring, The Babadook, and other such curse movies (and coming in unfortunate proximity to the far superior Smile and The Harbinger), this supernatural horror film takes influence from ‘creepypastas’ Slender Man and Momo (if you have to Google them, you’re too old for this film). The twist here being that Grimcutty is spread by the parents’ hysteria, and not that of its victims. A smart hook, but one which isn’t supported by the performances or writing.

The film’s low budget excuses the cheap cinematography and even the horrible acting, but the same can’t be said for its storytelling. Showcasing a woeful misunderstanding of the Internet and teenagers, Grimcutty hammers home its point by making its adult characters comically stupid, from the secretive Mommy Blogger to increasingly ridiculous dad Amir (Usman Ally). There’s a timely message there somewhere, but it’s as blunt and clumsy as 2011’s Megan is Missing.

At the dark heart of it is Grimcutty (nope, still stupid), an off-brand cross between Slender Man and Death Note’s Ryuk. The demon is actually the best thing in it, even as overexposure dilutes its scares. It, and stars Wolfkind and Shannyn Sossamon, deserved better.

A comically out-of-touch Internet fable, Grimcutty is dull at best, borderline unwatchable at worst. Its nails-down-the-chalkboard use of ASMR had this reviewer reaching, retching, for the mute button.

About as enjoyable as eating Tide Pods, watching Grimcutty is a challenge in itself.

OLD MAN

Old Man movie

Lost in the wilderness, a lone traveller stumbles across a cabin, deep in the woods. While anyone in their right mind would turn tail and run after being confronted by Stephen Lang at his creepiest, Ray (Mark Senter) nips in to warm himself by the fire. What is the shifty, paranoid Old Man’s game? And is there more to butter-wouldn’t-melt Ray than meets the eye?

As the pair settle in, tall tales are told. With Lang’s Old Man (not to be confused with the old man from Don’t Breathe, nor the Disney+ TV show currently streaming as we speak) holding the kid at gunpoint, and making jokes about poisoning the coffee, there’s clearly a power imbalance at play. Director Lucky Mckee’s (The Woman, All Cheerleaders Die) latest is a slow burn, but busy with his sense of playfulness and pitch-black humour. Well-fuelled by Lang’s typically intense performance as it is, Senter holds his own. The pair’s verbal game of cat-and-mouse gives the film its framework, while a brief but eventful diversion into the past provides its most arresting sequence.

As the pair wrangle with a curious shared detail in their stories, the film twists and turns into something entirely different. For a film about two men in a tiny cabin, there’s never a dull moment, though slick camera tricks, performance, and Joel Veach’s verbose script. From there it either gets silly or interesting, depending on one’s preference for such things – but it never gets old.

SO COLD THE RIVER

The River So Cold

Adapted from Michael Koryta’s novel of the same name, So Cold The River is a slow-burn supernatural thriller strong on atmosphere but muddled in execution. The screen adaptation by writer-director Paul Shoulberg switches the gender of the main protagonists, but tracks the novel’s core narrative and sets his movie in the same iconic Indiana hotel used in Koryta’s book.

Erica Shaw (Bethany Joy Lenz) is a documentary filmmaker specialising in true crime and macabre subject matter. Down on her luck, following a calamitous misjudgement on a recent project, she takes on an unexpected commission. Settling into the spectacular West Baden Springs Hotel, she begins work on a biopic of a seemingly reviled local entrepreneur Campbell Bradford (Michael J Rogers), now on his deathbed. It soon becomes clear that Campbell’s baleful influence has damaged individuals and communities over many decades. With the support of a fangirl intern and an amateur local historian, Shaw starts to piece together elements of Campbell’s disturbing life story. As she works, she is troubled by apparitions from the Campbell family’s past – which might be dreams, proof of her ‘second sight’ abilities, or hauntings.

The most effective elements of So Cold The River come from the way that Shoulberg uses the extraordinary architecture of the hotel (somewhere between a colosseum and a mausoleum) to frame encounters between different characters. Everything is beautifully lit, and the unnerving mood is built through impressive sound design and an edgy musical score. Yet the film is littered with unresolved plot points, while other opportunities (like the ominous-sounding ‘Rebirth Festival’) are squandered. An ending, which delivers some potent visuals but few explanations, compounds the sense of incompleteness.

SO COLD THE RIVER is available now on streaming platforms including Prime

SINPHONY: A CLUBHOUSE HORROR ANTHOLOGY

When used correctly, social media can be a tool for change and to present new opportunities to those who otherwise would not be afforded the pleasure. And that is exactly what Sinphony sets out to do and achieves.

Anthology films, especially in horror, have been around for a while but always present a unique way of portraying a narrative or idea through short films and an overarching story. Sinphony is the first volume of the Clubhouse Horror Anthology born from the social media platform Clubhouse which brought together talented, up and coming filmmakers from around the world to showcase their abilities and creativity.

The overarching narrative of this particular film is that each of the nine stories is about a character dealing with tragedy caused by a supernatural entity. Now, although this string throughout the film is solid enough without being game changing, what stands out are some of the shorts themselves. Most notably, Haley Bishop’s FOREVER YOUNG which explores the idea of getting old, and Kimberley Elizabeth’s DO US PART? which navigates the eternal bond of marriage brilliantly. However, although some of the other shorts were well made on their own, the gulf in quality from one to another was quite jarring and detracted from the overall product. Especially when the tone was so drastically different and the overall presentation including formatting, sound design and writing.

Sinphony: Volume 1 does two things right: it has laid the foundation for the upcoming sequel, and it has allowed some new voices in the indie horror scene to showcase their passion and ability, but, overall it misses the mark in making a complete visceral and entertaining package that would stand out from its peers.

ACCIDENT MAN: HITMAN’S HOLIDAY

accident man holiday

Scott Adkins returns to the role he was born to play, in this incredibly fun sequel – strap yourself in!

If you did watch the 2018 original, you will be familiar with Mike Fallon (Adkins), a hitman who uses cleverly designed accidents to take out his targets, if you didn’t it’s explained via voice over that he has escaped to Malta, after killing half of his crew, in retaliation for his girlfriend’s murder. He’s having a great time until his old friend Fred (Perry Mason) shows up looking for an Internet date, only to get kidnapped by Mike’s boss Mrs Zuuzer (Flaminia Cinque) who tasks Mike with protecting her useless son Dante (George Fouracres) from the mother of all hits. This attracts the wacky and weirdest hitmen and women from across the world.

The film takes a little too long to kick into gear – the first act is taken up by Sarah Chang’s Siu-ling, performing a kind of ‘Kato’ service, attacking Mike when he least expects, a fun idea but overcooked, and there is some reliance on shoddy CG at times. Once the hit is open, however, the film wallops you in the face, with frantic bloody fights, funny dialogue, and a relentless pace. The hitmen are all good value, from a vampiric African to a clown with a giant hammer who can feel no pain. It all culminates in a magnificent end battle between Mike and ninja-like assassin Oyumi (Andy Long). Andy is best known for being a recent member of the Jackie Chan Stunt Team and is one of the choreographers here. He almost steals the show, displaying gravity-defying spin-kicks, lovely Kung-Fu techniques and break-neck speed. It forces Scott to up his own game and shows he can still spin kick with the best. 

Accident Man is hugely entertaining, with Adkins using copious amounts of the word ‘twit’, referencing Bake Off and teaching us the value of mates. What more could we ask of him? Bring on part 3…

 

Accident Man: Hitman’s Holiday is out now in the US 

RED RIVER ROAD

red river road

There have been plenty of films that come from the dark times we all experienced when the world was locked down during the COVID-19 pandemic. Many have shown their low budget and origins, but Paul Schuyler’s film has a layer of polish and conviction that puts it above the others.

It’s a sadly all-too-familiar situation: a family are isolating together in their summer house, away from the city as they and the rest of the country are forced to keep themselves safe from a threat that seems to come through the Internet. Rather than an airborne virus, it’s the electronics we’ve become reliant on that have become our enemy. With regular parcel drops of food and films (with streaming being unavailable, physical media is king again), and an implant in the neck so that they don’t stray too far from their designated zone, the family seem to be coping until it turns out the children have been accessing chat rooms with others across the country. The kids say there’s a conspiracy circulating that it’s all a hoax, but could that in itself be a sign they are infected?

Using his own family, Schuyler capitalises on the in-built dynamic. There may well be many wry observations on the situation of the past few years, but Schuyler takes the story into different layers of paranoia and menace. As we move away from familiarity, the viewer is constantly knocked off guard as the mental state of the characters becomes more erratic. Their choice of films often parallels their situation, particularly since one of them is John Carpenter’s The Thing. As suspicion of ‘infection’ grows, so does the coherence of what’s going on.

You’d be hard pushed to find a family acting together as good as we have here. When most people made bread, the Schuyler family made a rather good movie. Great use of a bad time, if you ask us.

 

Red River Road is available on digital in the US.

POST MORTEM

post mortem

Ghosts and death abound in this quirky Hungarian horror film set after the First World War.

Tomás (Viktor Klem) survived being blown up and almost left for dead in the trenches, and has taken up the art of post-mortem photography in a travelling carnival. The man who saved him – who was a cameraman in the war – acts as his mouthpiece in the show, revealing what he saw when he was ‘dead’. He meets a girl, Anna (Fruzsina Hais), who he’s sure he’s seen before, who tells him there are plenty of people to photograph at her village since they’ve been afflicted with the Spanish flu. There’s not just the dead to work with, as Tomás and Anna have to deal with a full town of ghosts.

With elements of folk horror and a black sense of humour, Post Mortem is one of those films that is a joy to stumble across. It’s directed wonderfully by Péter Bergendy, and boasts some spectacular effects once it gets going. Even before the big set pieces, there’s plenty to enjoy with the photographer posing the corpses with their families. This was a popular tradition in Victorian England and other places and is still practised in some cultures. If we didn’t know better, we’d be convinced that real corpses were used here they are so realistic.

The small Eastern European village and creepy visuals help give the film an eerie, believable atmosphere, bringing to mind films such as the Russian classic Viy. It’s beautifully filmed by András Nagy, and builds to a fiery climax influenced by the likes of Poltergeist and Dario Argento’s Inferno.

Post Mortem deserves to gain more than a cult following. This is world cinema at its very best and certainly accessible to genre fans.

POST MORTEM will be available on digital from October 31st.

HALLOWEEN ENDS

Halloween-Ends-Starburst-Magazine-Review

We are 13 Halloween films in (4 for this particular timeline), so who can really argue with wanting to be a little different? After all, long before this point, Freddy had attacked his creators, Jason had gone to space and Leatherface was wearing a neglige.

For over 40 years Laurie Strode has done battle with Michael Myers. And Ends or not (our money is on not), this film is in many ways a definitive finale. A finale to Myers/Strode’s original story, a finale to David Gordon Green’s legacy sequel trilogy, and likely a finale for Jamie Lee Curtis in a role she has made unforgettable. It is easy to compare this recent trilogy to the sequel trilogy of Star Wars actually (in more ways than one), so is this a Rise of Skywalker? Well, it will certainly be talked about that is for damn sure…

The story picks up four years after Michael Myers’ 2018 Halloween night rampage, and The Bogeyman has since remained absent, while Haddonfield has been plunged into a tense, desperate kind of shared grief, amidst it all though Laurie Strode has managed to persevere and pull things somewhat together, choosing to live a more peaceful life with her granddaughter Allyson (Andi Matichak). However, evil never sleeps and soon The Shape beckons, but something is very different this time.

This film has received praise from Stephen King, which is funny because Halloween Ends very much plays out like IT. Tipping its mask early to the notoriously Myers-less Halloween III: Season of the Witch too, as well as John Carpenter films like Christine (a King story again) and The Thing. Ends is an ‘80s joint of a movie, that plays out like a Halloween-infused campfire tale, where Michael Myers and his evil is transformed into a shadowy Pennywise-esque presence, the troll under the bridge, the silent onlooker and influencer (not that kind silly), that corrupts all it touches.

Curtis is outstanding as Laurie again, and has been the anchor for this new trilogy from the very start, as has James Jude Courtney’s excellent take on Michael (who will likely get the Kane Hodder treatment by fans in the future). Here, both are older and tired, but both are different. Strode is a survivor that sees the light, the solace and will reach it at any cost, while Michael is a battered, strained, mouldy force of evil. They are on an inevitable course to collide but the direction to it is anything but atypical.

Let’s not mince words, many people may indeed be pissed off with this knowingly, hugely divisive, neck-breaking change of direction for the series, that challenges fans. If we can draw parallels to a fellow classic horror series, Ends comes close to walking the Jason Goes To Hell path, but instead sticks nearer to A New Beginning, only with the thankfully added quality of actually delivering on its central promise and what you are paying your money for (the promised clash). 

Going in blind and off the marketing, many will be taken aback completely by this film, which is a character-driven slow burner, detailing how evil never dies but only changes shape, and how tortured souls can let it in. Green has boldly made a point here and after Myers dominated the two previous films, this time his shadow rather than form is omnipresent. This is a film that will provoke a strong response, a film that could have simply been one thing but brazenly decided to be another but also does not let down those coming for the main event.

True some legacy characters are edged to the side a bit as a result and the film does undeniably not have a steady, slick, flow due to a large portion of it tacking a thematic story surrounding a new character. Meaning the final act in particular quickly ties things up to get down to the final piece of business. Yet, in spite of this, the bloody (some kills are twistedly inventive) journey is one worth taking, as long as you open up to its change of pace. 

Whatever your thoughts, everyone should certainly be applauded for not playing safe, and crafting something that will most assuredly face backlash but could likely be reevaluated years down the line. The series has attempted different before with VERY mixed success, see the Thorn timeline, Busta Rhymes does Big Brother at the Myers House, and whatever Rob Zombie’s H2 was, but Ends oddly feels more assured than those examples. While also perhaps being the weakest of this legacy sequel trilogy as a result of its big swings.

Hard to review really (this writer has tossed and turned with their actual score) because this slasher will entirely hang on your expectations and whatever shape they take. From the eye opening beginning, all the way to the strange final procession, all backed by John & Cody Carpenter and Daniel Davies’ reliably ace score, this is many things all at once. Great. Flawed. Polarising. Creative. Unhinged. But there can be no doubts that Halloween Ends is the franchise’s most fearless offering in years. It dares to be different and truly succeeds.

HALLOWEEN ENDS is in cinemas now.

HELLRAISER

Hellraiser Pinhead

After falling so far into the Straight-to-DVD-slash-streaming Bin, a horror franchise attempts to claw its way back up to the big leagues. And yet, in spite of the damage done by nine (!) mediocre-to-bad sequels, much goodwill remains towards the long-running horror series. Specifically, Head Priest of the damned Pinhead, as played by horror giant Doug Bradley. Could audiences ever accept a version of Hellraiser without Bradley’s hedgehog head?

Hitting the reset button, David Bruckner’s reboot re-casts and gender flips Pinhead, gives the Lament Configuration a makeover (and brand spanking new modus operandi), and spins a new tale from Clive Barker’s source material.

With shades of Fede Alvarez’s Evil Dead, the story follows a recovering addict (Odessa A’zion) as she unwittingly unleashes hell while battling her addictions. Coming into possession of an antique puzzle cube, Riley is thrown into a confrontation with Pinhead / The Priest (Jamie Clayton), who demands that the box be fed a fresh supply of souls. And if Riley isn’t willing to bring them? Well, the cube is perfectly willing to come get them itself.

This is a striking revitalisation. In Clayton’s chilling portrayal of the Hellpriest, the film proves faithful to Barker’s original novella, recasting a horror icon in a way that isn’t a mere rehash. And, with the return of Christopher Young’s score, it shows respect to the 1987 classic too. The whips and chains are also left intact, with some of the most visceral gore and violence the franchise has ever seen. Production values are high, and the cinematography luxurious, helping to differentiate this entry from those which preceded it. It’s a new look, but one which fits the world of Hellraiser.

And yet, the newfound polish betrays an incongruity with the source material – one in which its understanding of pleasure, pain and sex are only skin deep. While one could hardly accuse this reboot of chastity – its main characters are introduced in a sex scene – sexuality is but background noise to a by-the-numbers supernatural slasher in which heroes are picked off, one by one. While the casting and visuals are the shot in the arm that this reboot needs, the story is disappointingly rote.

The whips, chains and horrifying acupuncture are there, but mostly because they have to be, rather than being driven by characters’ horniness or infernal curiosity.  Even the worst of the sequels tended to have an air of the kinky about them. For a film packed full of gnashing S&M demons, Hellraiser 22′ is surprisingly vanilla.

Part slasher film, part supernatural Saw, it’s not always Hellraiser as we know it. Still, it is preferable to at least, say, five of the far worse films which preceded it.

AFTER BLUE (DIRTY PARADISE)

after blue

Set in a world populated by women only, After Blue – the place and the film – is mesmerising, transgressive, bathed in saturated colours, and will no doubt be something very few people will visit. This is a shame as it’s an engrossing, surreal fantasy that evokes memories of Barbarella (lo-fi weapons and skimpy, if grubby, costumes are de rigueur) and no doubt would have packed out the Scala Cinema in London should that place still exist.

The story begins with Roxy (Paula-Luna Breitenfelder), bullied by her peers, digging a woman (Agata Buzek) out from the sand in which she’s been buried up to her neck. Introducing herself as (don’t laugh) Kate Bush, she is a tall, imposing presence with one overly-hairy arm and an extra eye on her more intimate area. As a reward for releasing her, she kills her three tormentors. The locals are not happy about the witch Kate Bush being set free, however, and task Roxy and her mother (Elina Löwensohn) to track her down.

After Blue feels like something that Jean Rollin would have come up with if he had directed a sci-fi film. It’s permeated with erotic and sensuous imagery, while never being exploitative. Despite the otherworldly setting, it could easily be a retelling of some Eastern European folk tale (think Russian classic Viy). Writer/director Bertrand Mandico fills the screen with knowing references to real-world people (like the aforementioned pop goddess, fashion icons form the names of weapons) and his world could have come from the same limited resources department as ‘70s Doctor Who (coincidentally, the only male character has Ood-like tentacles but lower down).

While Mandico’s film is overlong at just over two hours, its ethereal visuals and ambiguous nature will make you want to come back for a second viewing in the hope of unravelling some of the more enigmatic portions of the story. Like with the work of Alejandro Jodorowsky, there’s plenty to unpick.

After Blue (Dirty Paradise) is in cinemas now and is available on digital from November 7th.