Review Category: Movie

The plot lead-in is pretty simple and starts with the pinched face of Ms. Thompson in a fit of pique as she berates her boggled beau, Peltzer (James Hamer-Morton), while apparently having sex with him. In truth, it’s a little hard to know as it certainly looks more like assault, and herein lies half of the appeal of the picture. Peltzer genuinely looks terrified, all shambolic floppy fringe, lying on the bed beneath those boobs (hell, this is Tromaesque, after all). While the story follows Peltzer as he tries to grow a pair and assert himself over his bitch of a girlfriend, bullying co-workers and absolute asshat of a boss with the help of the mysterious friend, Ronnie, it does so via the best excesses imaginable. The cast play shotgun hopscotch over the line between bad acting for the cheek of it, gallant overstatement and, at times, actual emotion. Thompson generally looks furious, Vito Trigo cold hearted and Stiles Rembrandt (Clay von Carlowitz) the confident stud who doesn’t realise he actually isn’t quite.

However, the two main stars are Hamer-Morton and Damian Morter as Peltzer and Ronnie. Hamer-Morton actually manages to both mug and relate his way through emotions ranging from wedgied distress through to ‘dick out’ victory dancing. Ronnie, on the other hand, is a force of nature itself, combining actual believability with a hella snazzy waistcoat so that even the most OTT Troma humour seems really oddly appropriate. The sections these two have together are a genuine joy to watch and incredibly funny not for the daft, scuzzy humour but because the comic timing and commitment of the actors actually sells the bond of the situation they’re presenting. This is also partly due to the film’s editing and camera work, which is impressively slick and rather adventurous. This in turn is aided and abetted by little touches such as the corny music, which feel oddly appropriate in context. It emphasizes the cast’s strengths, allowing you to live it vicariously with them.

The film isn’t entirely without issues. A few of the more emotional sequences from other players fall surprisingly flat, it could do with a little clarification on what Ronnie is, and it must be said that the actual ending feels a little limp after what has gone before. That said, this is quite a minor quibble for a film that has genuinely hugely enjoyable segments. If Troma is an acquired taste, Liam Regan is a fucking connoisseur. Drop Dead Fred grabbed a Banjo and got balls.

 

The story works as a weird ”what’s what” of the horror genre, with seemingly as many tropes packed in as humanly possible, thought it is clever with them. We have corridor-clad, kohl-eyed demonic urchins, Satanic scribblings on walls, tremulous tarot sessions and enough jump scares to destroy the sofa springs of the more sensitive. The pastiche is unoriginal, but at the same time Ambrosioni knows enough about timing to be able to preserve the intensity of some of the starker moments despite their regularity and (often) obviousness. A particularly nicely done segment sees some violence committed in a realistic, low-fi way (thanks to a good camera setup) that nevertheless spares the graphic detail so as to trick the audience; what could be a punter-placating set piece instead becomes a clever little character study that is infinitely more satisfactory and shocking as a result. Indeed, part of the appeal of the film is its tonal changes, and early standout sequences show little more than shadowy people in deep contemplation, suggesting that the unpredictability of mental illness is far more frightening than something that might pull a silly face and go ‘boo’. Nathan and Fabrice Ambrosioni deserve particular praise for this work and the editing which highlights the psychological processes that underpin the narrative.

Key to the piece’s success is the acting. Luna Belan and Julie Venturelli as Anna and Emilie Langston manage to be convincing both as sweet, loving siblings and for the half of the film where they basically scream, flail and dangle their hair in their eyes. It must be said that Belan in particular has a strong but ultimately gentle presence that helps to maintain interest in the narrative itself, particularly as the found footage style becomes more and more prevalent. Supporting characters are handled somewhat differently, with some early structural sleight of hand with Meredith’s (Shelley Ward) character seeming a little too farfetched for its own good and there is some slightly hollow hysteria from Magali Gouyon (as Jessica) that undermines the gravity of the situation somewhat.

Hostile does repeat tried and tested formulas, but it does so with a level of knowing, almost playful ingenuity that most of the time encourages buy in, rather than boredom, from audiences. It won’t shake the world, but it may give you a devil of a good natured scream for your money. Nathan Ambrosioni has a wonderful eye for little quirks of fear which make him one to watch in future.

 

What’s old is new again as the night he came home rolls about all over again. Well, it’s not Michael Myers, nor Halloween, but near enough… Suspension is John Carpenter’s classic retooled for our modern age, in a world where stupid partying teenagers and dim local cops are as relevant as ever.

The Jamie Lee Curtis of the piece is troubled Emily, a high school student whose only means of stress relief are drawing gory images in her sketchbook. Bullied at school and misunderstood by the adults in her life, poor Emily has something of the Carrie White about her. Instead of a psychic power trip, however, it’s her serial killer dad who’ll be doing most of the murdering. The two are reunited one dark and moody night, while mum is working and Emily is left at home, babysitting her mute little brother. Various guests will come knocking throughout the night, but nobody’s survival is guaranteed.

An atmospheric, grotesque retooling of Halloween (with a level of violence that almost rivals that of Rob Zombie’s remake), the first half of Suspension is so good at times that its eventual crumbling into cliché and predictability is made all the more depressing. Fair enough, the high tension is sustained to the end, but viewers don’t need a sixth sense to see where it’s all going. That’s a shame, because Ellen MacNevin does an exceptional job as Emily, even when the script isn’t giving her all that much to do. A mid-movie scene in which she sings her little brother to sleep is one of the most haunting moments we’ve seen in a horror film all year.

But alas, for all its good intentions, the finale is just so wrong and so utterly misplaced, that it derails absolutely everything which has gone before. Here endeth the review: honestly, it’s that bad.

CERT: TBC / DIRECTOR: JEFFERY SCOTT LANDO / SCREENPLAY: KEVIN MOSLEY / SCREENPLAY: ELLEN MACNEVIN, SAGE BROCKLEBANK, TAYLOR RUSSELL / RELEASE DATE: TBC

Landlords, huh? Never easy at the best of times, let alone when they’re installing hidden cameras in your home and soundproof dungeons in your basement. They don’t know it yet, but it’s a problem faced by young married couple Claire and Ryan, expecting their first child and already experiencing marital strife. The last thing they need, then, is their grubby landlord turning their home into his own private Videodrome.

So this is a modern horror film in which hidden surveillance cameras play a massive part, and yet Slumlord is not found footage. Detractors of that sort of thing can rejoice, kick back and enjoy (well, maybe not enjoy…) this impressively scummy slice of grot. As the titular ‘lord, Neville Archambault is perfectly cast, putting even The Human Centipede 2′s Martin to shame in the creep stakes. With a gait not dissimilar to Gotham’s Oswald Cobblepot, the gut of a man who enjoys a few too many bacon cheeseburgers (it’s a plot point and everything) but surprising muscle tone and strength, he’s the most immediately memorable horror villain we’ve seen in years. This is One Hour Photo with a sheen of slime; a leering, unpleasant movie that holds viewers’ interest even as it repulses.

With its sweaty male gaze and multiple unsympathetic characters (save for poor Claire, kept in the dark about so much) many will be put off by the film –  its cruel and mildly predictable last act not helping matters either. But it can’t be faulted for its atmosphere and sheer creepiness, the questions it asks about voyeurism and audience complicity lingering long after the film ends. It finishes with a fine twist too, hinting at a sequel that would be ill-advised but inevitable.

As the Slumlord watches his unsuspecting tenants by hidden camera, so we regard the events unfolding before us. Like ‘lord, we could and should turn off at any minute’. We’re not going to though, no matter how much we might want to.

SLUMLORD / CERT: TBC / DIRECTOR & SCREENPLAY: VICTOR ZARCOFF / STARRING: NEVILLE ARCHAMBAULT, SARAH BALDWIN, SEAN CARRIGAN / RELEASE DATE: TBC

This is a movie about the sustained sexual abuse and eventual rape of a poor girl who everyone seems to be obsessed with labelling a whore. A dizzyingly brutal rape revenge movie that really questions the price, worth and legitimacy of revenge, while continuing the whole sexual abuse and rape theme throughout. Oh, and it also happens to have a landmine in it at some point.

One part kids-stuck-in-a-perilous-situation-of-their-own-making movie to three parts I Spit on Your Grave wannabe, Landmine Goes Click might just be the most controversial horror film of the year. It might just be the most controversial horror film of any year. Technically proficient, elegant and with beautiful scenery, its artistry makes it a hard film to dismiss (like one might the repulsive I Spit on Your Grave 2, or the worthless The Hike) even as one really, really tries to.

Third-wheeling on a camping holiday with his soon-to-be-married friends, best man Chris finds himself stepping not only on eggshells but a literal landmine too. Click. As dark secrets are revealed and even darker plots uncovered, poor Chris is left in quite the pickle. And then another threat presents itself to the group, and things go from bad to worse… to even worse.

Already infamous for its four-minute long onscreen rape sequence, Levan Bakhia’s grotty little sexual terrorism movie courts such company as A Serbian Film, Martyrs and Irreversible. It’s certainly extreme enough, particularly during the final quarter or so. Fans of such cinema should lap it up, if only to say they’ve seen it; a rite of passage that these things best function as.

There’s no denying that Landmine Goes Click achieves everything it sets out to do; it’s horrifying, harrowing, horrendous stuff. On that count, it’s a resounding success. On the other… just as the film ultimately asks ‘at what price comes revenge?’ so you have to ask yourself whether it’s really worth sitting through such repellent, miserable rot just to tick another extreme cinema box.

LANDMINE GOES CLICK / CERT: TBC / DIRECTOR: LEVAN BAKHIA / SCREENPLAY: ADRIAN COLOSSI / STARRING: STERLING KNIGHT, SPENCER LOCKE, DEAN GEYER / RELEASE DATE: TBC

 If one were to quantify comedy heavy metal band Steel Panther as a horror film, the results surely wouldn’t be too far away from Deathgasm, a New Zealand splatter flick that’s precisely as messy as its title suggests.

Not since Sam Raimi’s Evil Dead or Peter Jackson’s Braindead have we seen this level of splatterpunk filmmaking – a cross between Night of the Demons (the original one, of course) and a Tenacious D skit. Jason Lei Howden’s feature debut is Troma infused in the very best way – a grotesque, wild and profane love letter to metal and horror movies. All that, and heart too: it depicts a friendship between a group of misfits, bonding over their passion for metal. While the relationship between Brody and Zakk (Cawthorne and Blake) is imperfect, it feels real, and you’ll genuinely feel for them both.

But what you’ll mostly feel is a sense of sheer joy at watching as the chaos unfolds onscreen, be it in the hilariously inventive animated sequences or a show-stopping battle in which the two boys attempt to kill a pair of demons using only a box of sex toys as weaponry. Like the music it so adores, the story barely stops for breath from start to finish, imbuing even its quieter, more tender sequences with a wonderful sense of humour that almost always works (best Rick-rolling joke ever). This writer laughed so hard that I spilled beer all over my lap; and then carried on laughing. Ferocious, inventive and oh so very gory, Deathgasm is the most fun you’ll have with a horror film all year.

Oh, and it goes without saying that the soundtrack is pretty great too. In the words of the mighty Steel Panther – death to all but metal! m/

DEATHGASM / CERT: TBC / DIRECTOR & SCREENPLAY: JASON LEI HOWDEN / STARRING: MILO CAWTHORNE, JAMES BLAKE, KIMBERLEY CROSSMAN / RELEASE DATE: TBC

Shaun of the Dead meets Bridesmaids in this disarmingly sweet horror comedy which takes the former’s romzomcom overtures and crosses it with the female perspective of the latter. We wouldn’t swap leading lady Maria Thayer for the world, but it’d be no stretch to see Kristen Wiig take on the titular Deb without missing a beat.

Waking up after a one night stand with the hunky but uninteresting Ryan (Michael Cassidy) the sparky, frequently annoying Deb finds herself in a world crawling with the living dead. Teaming up with Ryan, the pair make their way to his rich baron dad’s mansion, where they hope to ride the thing out in relative safety. That’s if the familial bickering doesn’t get them first. Dad being played by the tremendous Ray Wise, there’s no chance of a quiet zombie apocalypse, that’s for sure.

It takes a while to settle into Night of the Living Deb‘s groove (the initial unfolding of its zombie invasion being a little too reminiscent of Shaun of the Dead‘s) and appreciate Deb as a protagonist, but once we get there it emerges as one of the most likeable films of the year. There’s no denying it plays its comedy too broad at times, and Thayer’s constant wisecracking won’t be everyone’s cup of tea, but it’s a remarkably chipper answer to the gloomier, more miserable horror films we have become accustomed to in our time. The Walking Dead this ain’t! Thankfully, as a comedy, it’s not The Walking Deceased either, which is a relief.

Its weakest link is love interest Ryan, a bland straight man not helped by the wooden catalogue type playing him. The pair share no chemistry and it’s hard to see what one sees in the other. Fun and funny as Night of the Living Deb is, it would have been interesting to see what a female writer/director might have done with the project – even if that’s just widening the net to take in a few more supporting lady characters (Deb’s Ed-like sidekick isn’t in it nearly enough, and the less said about Ryan’s monstrous fiancée the better). Thankfully, Thayer gets the support she needs in the form of a brownie-baking Ray Wise and Chris Marquette as his ridiculous gun-toting son (threatening to steal every scene in which he appears).

A romzomcom with real heart and feeling, Night of the Living Deb proves that there’s some life in the old subgenre yet.

CERT: TBC / DIRECTOR: KYLE RANKIN / SCREENPLAY: ANDY SELSOR / STARRING: RAY WISE, MARIA THAYER, CHRIS MARQUETTE / RELEASE DATE: TBC

 

Boston writer/director Izzy Lee has been rather prolific of late; not only did she have the short A Favor shown at London’s FrightFest this year, she has contributed to the upcoming anthology film Grindsploitation.  Innsmouth, her latest short, keeps her trajectory going in the right direction.  

We open a forensic examiner (Lee herself) inspecting the body of a young woman, found dead in an apartment with a large bite wound to her neck. Detective Olmstead (Porter) finds a photograph at the scene of the deceased with another woman, with the location written on the back: Innsmouth. Convincing her superior that it’s an important lead, she heads out to the small town to see if she can find out more. Upon arrival, she immediately is put in danger when she confronted by a strange group of women, led by the charismatic Alice Marsh (Risk).

Inspired by the H. P. Lovecraft story The Shadow over Innsmouth, Ms Lee’s short manages to capture the atmosphere of the horror master’s prose perfectly. After the comedic A Favor, Izzy has delivered a full-blooded horror, arguably her most gruesome and certainly the most explicit of her work so far.  Aided by a score by Timothy Fife that evokes the past, and a sound design that underpins the creepy scenario, the film manages to convince in a mere ten minutes.
Already established as a modern horror icon, Tristan Risk is simply brilliant as the matriarch of the town’s sinister and horrific community. A fearless actor, she dominates her scenes, but not at the expense of the rest of the cast. With a brooding sensuality, she is at once enthralling and terrifying, as well as completely captivating.

Innsmouth has a building tension, which blossoms with an astonishingly erotically-charged edge, but it’s a shame that it wasn’t longer, as the mythology of the original novella could have been explored even further. However, within the short running time, we get a glimpse and taste some of the rich history of Lovecraft’s story. If it plays at a festival near you, seek it out!

CERT: TBC / DIRECTOR: IZZY LEE / SCREENPLAY: IZZY LEE, FRANCESCO MASSACCESI / STARRING: TRISTAN RISK, DIANA PORTER, IZZY LEE / RELEASE DATE: VOD OUT NOW

The opening monologue of Russell Friedenberg’s new feature tells of an ancient Native American curse; that of the Wind Walker. The legend describes a supernatural force that waits in the shadows to claim those who have fought in lands to which they do not belong, striking them down upon their return and consigning their souls to the wind. Any hopeful optimism generated by this intriguing set up disappointingly becomes lost as the film stumbles along in the second half, at times becoming as lost as the characters themselves.

With one of their own missing a group of friends head into the wild to hunt but their strained relationships quickly come to the fore as they come under attack from an unknown assailant. As their fear grows suspicion falls upon one of their number, the recently returned army veteran and borderline schizophrenic Kotz (Holtz) but as the bodies mount up it becomes clear something much more evil is stalking them.

There is an intriguing, haunting supernatural thriller at the heart of Friedenberg’s everglade set anti-war film but finding it almost becomes part of the mystery itself as too many genre and subgenre references are randomly thrown together. For much of the film a ghostly protagonist is alluded to, which provides much of the early interest, but in the final act this is forgotten to concentrate instead on some kind of zombie/vampire hybrid that is running around infecting as many people as possible, curiously with the intention of building an army. The purpose of this carnivorous recruitment is never fully explained and despite regular news bulletins reporting this as a global issue rather than a just a Florida-based one, presenting a World War Z-type scenario, this subplot also fades away pretty quickly.

The unpredictable abruptness in the switch of genres is reflected in the narrative itself. The direction and editing do little to aid a story that feels awkwardly disjointed with numerous seemingly unconnected events. Characters buddy up and fall out repeatedly, flashbacks give some apparent history of the “infection” without ever offering an adequate explanation of its source and random scenes appear to be lifted directly from other films. The cast do their best amidst the confusion but struggle to instil any real depth or understandable motive into their characters, as lifelong relationships are quickly discarded when a bloodthirsty survival instinct takes hold.

Instead of the tension-filled horror Friedenberg was clearly aiming for his film sadly descends into a routine thriller with a straight-to-DVD feel about it. You want to like it more, you want to applaud the ambition and then revel in the horror, but ultimately nothing quite holds together cohesively. Whether this is down to the script, editing issues, budgetary restraints or something else altogether Wind Walkers just doesn’t feel finished, something reflected in an ending that feels hurried and last minute.

WIND WALKERS / CERT: 15 / DIRECTOR & SCREENPLAY: RUSSELL FRIEDENBERG / STARRING: GLEN POWELL, RUDY YOUNGBLOOD, ZANE HOLTZ / RELEASE DATE: SEPTEMBER 21ST (DVD/VOD)

Expected Rating: 7 out of 10

Actual Rating:
 

Jackie Chan meets Ben Hur in this hybrid of martial arts and Maciste madness. The only thing missing is Steve Reeves or Reg Park heaving massive boulders off cliffs in order to straighten out the bad guys.

The story (a missed opportunity is there ever was one) is loosely based on a lost Roman legion in China that had to fight their way through enemy territory to safety, much like the classic film The Warriors.

Here, the movie centres around Huo An (Chan) and his elite group of peacekeepers known as the Silk Road Protection Squad, designated to keep the international trade route in China open. Set up for a crime he didn’t commit, he and his men are sentenced to heavy labour, rebuilding a remote outpost known as Wild Geese Gate.

It’s here, General Lucius (Cusack) and his renegade army on the run from Consul Tiberius (Brody), who killed his own father and blinded his younger brother in order to prevent him from taking the throne that Lucius who has sworn to protect the younger sibling with his life, meet An in a trial-by-combat fight where they become friends and join forces against Tiberius’ 100,000 strong approaching army.

Chan is in full form here, ranging from comedic to dramatic moments. Even in his early 60’s, having almost broken every bone in his body, he demonstrates what a true, amazing talent he really is.

The movie’s main problem is it really doesn’t know what it wants to be; starting out as a comedy then becoming dramatic. Too many flashbacks break the rhythm of the film, as well as confuse the viewer in its time frame. Peng Lin as Cold Moon and An’s semi-love interest, is quite stunning and great on the screen. Brody’s Tiberius, played with sinister cruelty, is impressive, but lacks major screen time to be an effective antagonist. Cusack as Lucius is an interesting choice, but seems out-of-place. The worst actress in the film is Lorie Pester portraying the Parthian Queen. A former ice skating star, she is stunning and regal in appearance, but as soon as she opens her mouth, she sounds like a Valley Girl channelling Vera Hruba Ralston (from Republic Pictures fame).

Originally, Dragon Blade had a wrap-around story about modern day, archaeologists discovering this event, and at the end then decide to keep the find a secret. Wouldn’t an archaeologist’s job be to report a historical find and not neglect it? Thankfully, this was cut from the final print as it made no sense at all.

There are some bright moments in the movie but, sadly, Dragon Blade is unfulfilling as a whole. For Jackie Chan completists only.

CERT: TBC / DIRECTOR & SCREENPLAY: DANIEL LEE / STARRING: JACKIE CHAN, ADRIEN BRODY, JOHN CUSACK, PENG LIN / RELEASE DATE: TBC

Expected Rating: 7 out of 10
Actual Rating: