Review Category: Movie

What’s old is new again as the night he came home rolls about all over again. Well, it’s not Michael Myers, nor Halloween, but near enough… Suspension is John Carpenter’s classic retooled for our modern age, in a world where stupid partying teenagers and dim local cops are as relevant as ever.

The Jamie Lee Curtis of the piece is troubled Emily, a high school student whose only means of stress relief are drawing gory images in her sketchbook. Bullied at school and misunderstood by the adults in her life, poor Emily has something of the Carrie White about her. Instead of a psychic power trip, however, it’s her serial killer dad who’ll be doing most of the murdering. The two are reunited one dark and moody night, while mum is working and Emily is left at home, babysitting her mute little brother. Various guests will come knocking throughout the night, but nobody’s survival is guaranteed.

An atmospheric, grotesque retooling of Halloween (with a level of violence that almost rivals that of Rob Zombie’s remake), the first half of Suspension is so good at times that its eventual crumbling into cliché and predictability is made all the more depressing. Fair enough, the high tension is sustained to the end, but viewers don’t need a sixth sense to see where it’s all going. That’s a shame, because Ellen MacNevin does an exceptional job as Emily, even when the script isn’t giving her all that much to do. A mid-movie scene in which she sings her little brother to sleep is one of the most haunting moments we’ve seen in a horror film all year.

But alas, for all its good intentions, the finale is just so wrong and so utterly misplaced, that it derails absolutely everything which has gone before. Here endeth the review: honestly, it’s that bad.

CERT: TBC / DIRECTOR: JEFFERY SCOTT LANDO / SCREENPLAY: KEVIN MOSLEY / SCREENPLAY: ELLEN MACNEVIN, SAGE BROCKLEBANK, TAYLOR RUSSELL / RELEASE DATE: TBC

Landlords, huh? Never easy at the best of times, let alone when they’re installing hidden cameras in your home and soundproof dungeons in your basement. They don’t know it yet, but it’s a problem faced by young married couple Claire and Ryan, expecting their first child and already experiencing marital strife. The last thing they need, then, is their grubby landlord turning their home into his own private Videodrome.

So this is a modern horror film in which hidden surveillance cameras play a massive part, and yet Slumlord is not found footage. Detractors of that sort of thing can rejoice, kick back and enjoy (well, maybe not enjoy…) this impressively scummy slice of grot. As the titular ‘lord, Neville Archambault is perfectly cast, putting even The Human Centipede 2′s Martin to shame in the creep stakes. With a gait not dissimilar to Gotham’s Oswald Cobblepot, the gut of a man who enjoys a few too many bacon cheeseburgers (it’s a plot point and everything) but surprising muscle tone and strength, he’s the most immediately memorable horror villain we’ve seen in years. This is One Hour Photo with a sheen of slime; a leering, unpleasant movie that holds viewers’ interest even as it repulses.

With its sweaty male gaze and multiple unsympathetic characters (save for poor Claire, kept in the dark about so much) many will be put off by the film –  its cruel and mildly predictable last act not helping matters either. But it can’t be faulted for its atmosphere and sheer creepiness, the questions it asks about voyeurism and audience complicity lingering long after the film ends. It finishes with a fine twist too, hinting at a sequel that would be ill-advised but inevitable.

As the Slumlord watches his unsuspecting tenants by hidden camera, so we regard the events unfolding before us. Like ‘lord, we could and should turn off at any minute’. We’re not going to though, no matter how much we might want to.

SLUMLORD / CERT: TBC / DIRECTOR & SCREENPLAY: VICTOR ZARCOFF / STARRING: NEVILLE ARCHAMBAULT, SARAH BALDWIN, SEAN CARRIGAN / RELEASE DATE: TBC

This is a movie about the sustained sexual abuse and eventual rape of a poor girl who everyone seems to be obsessed with labelling a whore. A dizzyingly brutal rape revenge movie that really questions the price, worth and legitimacy of revenge, while continuing the whole sexual abuse and rape theme throughout. Oh, and it also happens to have a landmine in it at some point.

One part kids-stuck-in-a-perilous-situation-of-their-own-making movie to three parts I Spit on Your Grave wannabe, Landmine Goes Click might just be the most controversial horror film of the year. It might just be the most controversial horror film of any year. Technically proficient, elegant and with beautiful scenery, its artistry makes it a hard film to dismiss (like one might the repulsive I Spit on Your Grave 2, or the worthless The Hike) even as one really, really tries to.

Third-wheeling on a camping holiday with his soon-to-be-married friends, best man Chris finds himself stepping not only on eggshells but a literal landmine too. Click. As dark secrets are revealed and even darker plots uncovered, poor Chris is left in quite the pickle. And then another threat presents itself to the group, and things go from bad to worse… to even worse.

Already infamous for its four-minute long onscreen rape sequence, Levan Bakhia’s grotty little sexual terrorism movie courts such company as A Serbian Film, Martyrs and Irreversible. It’s certainly extreme enough, particularly during the final quarter or so. Fans of such cinema should lap it up, if only to say they’ve seen it; a rite of passage that these things best function as.

There’s no denying that Landmine Goes Click achieves everything it sets out to do; it’s horrifying, harrowing, horrendous stuff. On that count, it’s a resounding success. On the other… just as the film ultimately asks ‘at what price comes revenge?’ so you have to ask yourself whether it’s really worth sitting through such repellent, miserable rot just to tick another extreme cinema box.

LANDMINE GOES CLICK / CERT: TBC / DIRECTOR: LEVAN BAKHIA / SCREENPLAY: ADRIAN COLOSSI / STARRING: STERLING KNIGHT, SPENCER LOCKE, DEAN GEYER / RELEASE DATE: TBC

 If one were to quantify comedy heavy metal band Steel Panther as a horror film, the results surely wouldn’t be too far away from Deathgasm, a New Zealand splatter flick that’s precisely as messy as its title suggests.

Not since Sam Raimi’s Evil Dead or Peter Jackson’s Braindead have we seen this level of splatterpunk filmmaking – a cross between Night of the Demons (the original one, of course) and a Tenacious D skit. Jason Lei Howden’s feature debut is Troma infused in the very best way – a grotesque, wild and profane love letter to metal and horror movies. All that, and heart too: it depicts a friendship between a group of misfits, bonding over their passion for metal. While the relationship between Brody and Zakk (Cawthorne and Blake) is imperfect, it feels real, and you’ll genuinely feel for them both.

But what you’ll mostly feel is a sense of sheer joy at watching as the chaos unfolds onscreen, be it in the hilariously inventive animated sequences or a show-stopping battle in which the two boys attempt to kill a pair of demons using only a box of sex toys as weaponry. Like the music it so adores, the story barely stops for breath from start to finish, imbuing even its quieter, more tender sequences with a wonderful sense of humour that almost always works (best Rick-rolling joke ever). This writer laughed so hard that I spilled beer all over my lap; and then carried on laughing. Ferocious, inventive and oh so very gory, Deathgasm is the most fun you’ll have with a horror film all year.

Oh, and it goes without saying that the soundtrack is pretty great too. In the words of the mighty Steel Panther – death to all but metal! m/

DEATHGASM / CERT: TBC / DIRECTOR & SCREENPLAY: JASON LEI HOWDEN / STARRING: MILO CAWTHORNE, JAMES BLAKE, KIMBERLEY CROSSMAN / RELEASE DATE: TBC

Shaun of the Dead meets Bridesmaids in this disarmingly sweet horror comedy which takes the former’s romzomcom overtures and crosses it with the female perspective of the latter. We wouldn’t swap leading lady Maria Thayer for the world, but it’d be no stretch to see Kristen Wiig take on the titular Deb without missing a beat.

Waking up after a one night stand with the hunky but uninteresting Ryan (Michael Cassidy) the sparky, frequently annoying Deb finds herself in a world crawling with the living dead. Teaming up with Ryan, the pair make their way to his rich baron dad’s mansion, where they hope to ride the thing out in relative safety. That’s if the familial bickering doesn’t get them first. Dad being played by the tremendous Ray Wise, there’s no chance of a quiet zombie apocalypse, that’s for sure.

It takes a while to settle into Night of the Living Deb‘s groove (the initial unfolding of its zombie invasion being a little too reminiscent of Shaun of the Dead‘s) and appreciate Deb as a protagonist, but once we get there it emerges as one of the most likeable films of the year. There’s no denying it plays its comedy too broad at times, and Thayer’s constant wisecracking won’t be everyone’s cup of tea, but it’s a remarkably chipper answer to the gloomier, more miserable horror films we have become accustomed to in our time. The Walking Dead this ain’t! Thankfully, as a comedy, it’s not The Walking Deceased either, which is a relief.

Its weakest link is love interest Ryan, a bland straight man not helped by the wooden catalogue type playing him. The pair share no chemistry and it’s hard to see what one sees in the other. Fun and funny as Night of the Living Deb is, it would have been interesting to see what a female writer/director might have done with the project – even if that’s just widening the net to take in a few more supporting lady characters (Deb’s Ed-like sidekick isn’t in it nearly enough, and the less said about Ryan’s monstrous fiancée the better). Thankfully, Thayer gets the support she needs in the form of a brownie-baking Ray Wise and Chris Marquette as his ridiculous gun-toting son (threatening to steal every scene in which he appears).

A romzomcom with real heart and feeling, Night of the Living Deb proves that there’s some life in the old subgenre yet.

CERT: TBC / DIRECTOR: KYLE RANKIN / SCREENPLAY: ANDY SELSOR / STARRING: RAY WISE, MARIA THAYER, CHRIS MARQUETTE / RELEASE DATE: TBC

 

Boston writer/director Izzy Lee has been rather prolific of late; not only did she have the short A Favor shown at London’s FrightFest this year, she has contributed to the upcoming anthology film Grindsploitation.  Innsmouth, her latest short, keeps her trajectory going in the right direction.  

We open a forensic examiner (Lee herself) inspecting the body of a young woman, found dead in an apartment with a large bite wound to her neck. Detective Olmstead (Porter) finds a photograph at the scene of the deceased with another woman, with the location written on the back: Innsmouth. Convincing her superior that it’s an important lead, she heads out to the small town to see if she can find out more. Upon arrival, she immediately is put in danger when she confronted by a strange group of women, led by the charismatic Alice Marsh (Risk).

Inspired by the H. P. Lovecraft story The Shadow over Innsmouth, Ms Lee’s short manages to capture the atmosphere of the horror master’s prose perfectly. After the comedic A Favor, Izzy has delivered a full-blooded horror, arguably her most gruesome and certainly the most explicit of her work so far.  Aided by a score by Timothy Fife that evokes the past, and a sound design that underpins the creepy scenario, the film manages to convince in a mere ten minutes.
Already established as a modern horror icon, Tristan Risk is simply brilliant as the matriarch of the town’s sinister and horrific community. A fearless actor, she dominates her scenes, but not at the expense of the rest of the cast. With a brooding sensuality, she is at once enthralling and terrifying, as well as completely captivating.

Innsmouth has a building tension, which blossoms with an astonishingly erotically-charged edge, but it’s a shame that it wasn’t longer, as the mythology of the original novella could have been explored even further. However, within the short running time, we get a glimpse and taste some of the rich history of Lovecraft’s story. If it plays at a festival near you, seek it out!

CERT: TBC / DIRECTOR: IZZY LEE / SCREENPLAY: IZZY LEE, FRANCESCO MASSACCESI / STARRING: TRISTAN RISK, DIANA PORTER, IZZY LEE / RELEASE DATE: VOD OUT NOW

The opening monologue of Russell Friedenberg’s new feature tells of an ancient Native American curse; that of the Wind Walker. The legend describes a supernatural force that waits in the shadows to claim those who have fought in lands to which they do not belong, striking them down upon their return and consigning their souls to the wind. Any hopeful optimism generated by this intriguing set up disappointingly becomes lost as the film stumbles along in the second half, at times becoming as lost as the characters themselves.

With one of their own missing a group of friends head into the wild to hunt but their strained relationships quickly come to the fore as they come under attack from an unknown assailant. As their fear grows suspicion falls upon one of their number, the recently returned army veteran and borderline schizophrenic Kotz (Holtz) but as the bodies mount up it becomes clear something much more evil is stalking them.

There is an intriguing, haunting supernatural thriller at the heart of Friedenberg’s everglade set anti-war film but finding it almost becomes part of the mystery itself as too many genre and subgenre references are randomly thrown together. For much of the film a ghostly protagonist is alluded to, which provides much of the early interest, but in the final act this is forgotten to concentrate instead on some kind of zombie/vampire hybrid that is running around infecting as many people as possible, curiously with the intention of building an army. The purpose of this carnivorous recruitment is never fully explained and despite regular news bulletins reporting this as a global issue rather than a just a Florida-based one, presenting a World War Z-type scenario, this subplot also fades away pretty quickly.

The unpredictable abruptness in the switch of genres is reflected in the narrative itself. The direction and editing do little to aid a story that feels awkwardly disjointed with numerous seemingly unconnected events. Characters buddy up and fall out repeatedly, flashbacks give some apparent history of the “infection” without ever offering an adequate explanation of its source and random scenes appear to be lifted directly from other films. The cast do their best amidst the confusion but struggle to instil any real depth or understandable motive into their characters, as lifelong relationships are quickly discarded when a bloodthirsty survival instinct takes hold.

Instead of the tension-filled horror Friedenberg was clearly aiming for his film sadly descends into a routine thriller with a straight-to-DVD feel about it. You want to like it more, you want to applaud the ambition and then revel in the horror, but ultimately nothing quite holds together cohesively. Whether this is down to the script, editing issues, budgetary restraints or something else altogether Wind Walkers just doesn’t feel finished, something reflected in an ending that feels hurried and last minute.

WIND WALKERS / CERT: 15 / DIRECTOR & SCREENPLAY: RUSSELL FRIEDENBERG / STARRING: GLEN POWELL, RUDY YOUNGBLOOD, ZANE HOLTZ / RELEASE DATE: SEPTEMBER 21ST (DVD/VOD)

Expected Rating: 7 out of 10

Actual Rating:
 

Jackie Chan meets Ben Hur in this hybrid of martial arts and Maciste madness. The only thing missing is Steve Reeves or Reg Park heaving massive boulders off cliffs in order to straighten out the bad guys.

The story (a missed opportunity is there ever was one) is loosely based on a lost Roman legion in China that had to fight their way through enemy territory to safety, much like the classic film The Warriors.

Here, the movie centres around Huo An (Chan) and his elite group of peacekeepers known as the Silk Road Protection Squad, designated to keep the international trade route in China open. Set up for a crime he didn’t commit, he and his men are sentenced to heavy labour, rebuilding a remote outpost known as Wild Geese Gate.

It’s here, General Lucius (Cusack) and his renegade army on the run from Consul Tiberius (Brody), who killed his own father and blinded his younger brother in order to prevent him from taking the throne that Lucius who has sworn to protect the younger sibling with his life, meet An in a trial-by-combat fight where they become friends and join forces against Tiberius’ 100,000 strong approaching army.

Chan is in full form here, ranging from comedic to dramatic moments. Even in his early 60’s, having almost broken every bone in his body, he demonstrates what a true, amazing talent he really is.

The movie’s main problem is it really doesn’t know what it wants to be; starting out as a comedy then becoming dramatic. Too many flashbacks break the rhythm of the film, as well as confuse the viewer in its time frame. Peng Lin as Cold Moon and An’s semi-love interest, is quite stunning and great on the screen. Brody’s Tiberius, played with sinister cruelty, is impressive, but lacks major screen time to be an effective antagonist. Cusack as Lucius is an interesting choice, but seems out-of-place. The worst actress in the film is Lorie Pester portraying the Parthian Queen. A former ice skating star, she is stunning and regal in appearance, but as soon as she opens her mouth, she sounds like a Valley Girl channelling Vera Hruba Ralston (from Republic Pictures fame).

Originally, Dragon Blade had a wrap-around story about modern day, archaeologists discovering this event, and at the end then decide to keep the find a secret. Wouldn’t an archaeologist’s job be to report a historical find and not neglect it? Thankfully, this was cut from the final print as it made no sense at all.

There are some bright moments in the movie but, sadly, Dragon Blade is unfulfilling as a whole. For Jackie Chan completists only.

CERT: TBC / DIRECTOR & SCREENPLAY: DANIEL LEE / STARRING: JACKIE CHAN, ADRIEN BRODY, JOHN CUSACK, PENG LIN / RELEASE DATE: TBC

Expected Rating: 7 out of 10
Actual Rating: 
 

It may come as a surprise to some of you that not everyone watches crime or horror movies. Whereas a STARBURST reader would never disturb a dead body or take a huge bag of money that has clearly been stashed by some sort of criminal, it seems those in movie-land aren’t as sensible.

Good People is a gritty London crime drama where a lovely couple (James Franco and Kate Hudson) decide to let their fixer-upper home out to a dodgy London geezer who just happens to be an armed robber. When they discover their tenant dead, they tell the police but fail to mention the enormous duffel bag filled with cash. Being middle-class, boring and rather dim, the two use the big wedge of money to sort out their financial problems. This leads to a crime lord who calls himself Genghis Khan to come after them. Fortunately, the local police detective is not quite as stupid as the couple and soon figures out what’s going on.

What could be a taut drama on the nature of greed along the lines of Shallow Grave is sadly nothing of the sort. Franco and Hudson phone it in as a couple very much confused by the real world, and the rest of the cast seem equally bored. There are few scenes of genuine menace, but these are lost amid a leisurely paced drama that seems more interested in the domestic affairs of the main characters rather than telling a story. The central problem is that good people tend also to be quite boring. This is neither a moralistic tale about what happens when the well intentioned do bad things, nor is it a character driven crime drama. There are no characters to move the story here, just good actors doing their best to deal with a wooden script.

It doesn’t help that the ending, which involves a booby trapped home, is also poorly implemented. What could have been a darker version of Home Alone may have saved the entire thing, but the obvious lack of budget means it doesn’t really go anywhere.

Good People, bad movie.

GOOD PEOPLE / CERT: 15 / DIRECTOR: HENRIK RUBEN GENZ / SCREENPLAY: KELLY MASTERSON / STARRING: JAMES FRANCO, KATE HUDSON, TOM WILKINSON, OMAR SY, ANNA FRIEL / RELEASE DATE: AUGUST 21ST
 

Although its premise has been tackled before – vampires and werewolves as real creatures, only this time manufactured over hundreds of years – this stylish short manages to be avoid being too derivative, generating an engrossing mood and packing some impressive visuals.  

Eva (played by director and co-creator Dark) is a former vampire assassin – as in a killer who happens to be a vampire – who has managed to escape a government-run research facility and is now only interested in killing, rather than being paid for it. With an enemy closing in on her and her kind, she may have to go against her instinct and side with the werewolf packs to avoid something terrible happening.

Although it has all the hallmarks of being another run of the mill Underworld rip-off, Ms Dark’s sophomore short has enough additional angles and an infectious energy to keep it fresh. The story sets up a realm of nether-creatures that exist alongside us. Shooting the film around the dockland areas of London at night certainly conveys a sinister atmosphere, and it looks as though it cost a lot more than it probably did, thanks to striking cinematography (complete with de-saturated look), some impressive action scenes (the stunt moves were coordinated by Roy Scammell, whose work goes back decades and has numerous big titles to his name), and an imposing score. There’s even a nice digital special effect towards the end, which is startling.

The story itself has enough to draw one in. But herein lays the problem. Seize the Night is too big to be a short film. The trouble with creating such a high concept world is that with only twelve minutes to work with, it leaves the viewer feeling a little unsatisfied. Which could be a good thing, if they can raise the budget to make either a series or a feature film, but a casual audience may feel short changed after the impressive build-up. Let’s hope someone decides to come on board and enable the story to continue in some form, because what we have with this taster is impressive enough that it would be a crying shame if we didn’t see more. Keep and eye open for it on the festival circuit.

SEIZE THE NIGHT / CERT: TBC / DIRECTOR: EMMA DARK / SCREENPLAY: RICHARD HUMPHRIES / STARRING: EMMA DARK, CAREY THRING, ANTHONY ILOTT, PAUL EWEN / RELEASE DATE: TBC