Review Category: Movie

A CHRISTMAS CAROL

RELEASE DATE: DECEMBER 3RD

It’s a tale that has been retold numerous times to varying effect. This adaptation utilises Charles Dickens’ original text as a spoken story over a dazzling ballet-esque depiction of the ultimate Yuletide story.

The framing device involves a typical Victorian family, settling down for a Christmas story. Grandma (Siân Phillips) recites the Dickens story to some unnaturally cute, attentive kids with not a PlayStation 5 in sight. The action tself takes place as a performance on a stage. The players dance and interact in elaborate ways. It’s a tad unsettling at first, since we’re used to the standard cinematic presentation. A few minutes in, however, and we’re convinced. The simplistic but highly effective techniques used to deliver believable spirits and situations are remarkable. It’s engaging enough to draw you into the pretence, as it would in a theatrical setting.

It doesn’t matter how many times the story is told, Dickens’ classic always hits even the hardest hearts (this writer always jokes that he awaits his visitors every Christmas Eve), and the version is no exception. It’s as visually mesmerising as the text is.

Directors Jacqui and David Morris’ adaptation also proves you don’t need to spend millions to make the story work on screen. It succeeds because of its simplicity and straightforward telling of the tale, archaic language and all. It’ll please those who love the story already, and no doubt will entrance the youngsters who have yet to be introduced to its delights. A Christmas Carol has always been a gateway into horror for many, as it’s usually the first taste of cinematic supernatural we experience. It also acts as a welcome palette cleanser following the awful BBC updating from last year (swearing has no place in this story!). You don’t even need to know that the voice talent includes Martin Freeman, Andy Serkis, Carey Mulligan, and Daniel Kaluuya; they are just icing on this very festive cake.

CHRONICLE 2067

CERT: 15 | PLATFORM: DIGITAL | RELEASE DATE: OUT NOW

One of the distinctive things about a lot of Australian science fiction is the way in leans towards apocalyptic wastelands and the general feeling that the world would be better off without people in it. Chronicle 2067 is the tale of a pollution ravaged Earth in which mankind has taken far more than the planet can cope with. The air is poison and no one can venture outside without protection.

The fate of the world changes however when a team of scientists complete work on a device called the Chronicle, a portal that allows one to travel through time in an extremely dangerous fashion.
Due to over-contrived plot complications, the person has to go through is the movie’s extremely unlikeable protagonist.

Kodi Smit-McPhee plays Ethan Whyte, a young man with a chip on his shoulder so large that he can barely speak and grunts his way through this feature. McPhee does an extremely powerful job at bringing the character to life, but the script is against him. Whyte’s job is keeping the cities unstable nuclear reactor running. He has a surly best friend and a sick wife. Basically, his life sucks and he doesn’t do himself any favours. When adventure calls, he reluctantly heeds the call and our story really begins

The bulk of the movie is taken up with the results of Whyte’s jaunt into the future, which includes a large amount of angst and nihilism. They are some great moments; the special effects set-pieces are nicely done and the grimy over-all atmosphere of the feature is well rendered. The problem is the story; it’s a very thin tale, one that would have made a great short film. Alas the narrative is stretched to snapping point and the viewer ends up more than a little bored.

Chronicle 2067 has some moments of brilliance, a solid cast and some great effects. It’s just a pity about the plot.

SPREE

CERT: 15 | PLATFORM: NETFLIX UK • APPLE • AMAZON | RELEASE DATE: OUT NOW

Desperately seeking to boost his social media presence, a rideshare driver concocts a deadly plan to go viral by murdering as many passengers possible. Rigging his vehicle with multiple cameras for a nonstop live stream of killer entertainment, Kurt Kunkle prepares for what he believes will be the defining moment for his channel. A satirical horror that focuses on the pitfalls of social media, Spree is a hauntingly real pastiche of fame-hungry individuals who have grown-up around the sphere of Internet culture.

With a captivating lead performance by Joe Keery, Spree manages to be an engaging romp from beginning to end. Admittedly, most of the enjoyment comes solely from Keery’s portrayal of Kurt Kunkle as he’s able to perfectly capture the narcissistic traits of a resentful young man and the pathetic nature of his plight into infamy. It’s unfortunate, however, that the film basks in a plethora of caricatures and focuses on some of the most vacuous individuals to grace the screen. A subtler approach would have given the film extra depth and could have been truly terrifying, although, it would have admittedly made for a completely different viewing experience.

To give credit where it’s due, Spree does a terrific job at accurately capturing the essence of Internet culture. Whether that be in the form of constant abuse in the comments or the manipulative and shallow nature of the individuals who use it, Spree does a good enough job at showing how it ultimately does nobody any good. A film that may appeal more to the younger generation, Spree is well worth a watch just for Keery’s powerhouse performance alone.

UNHINGED

Russell Crowe is on his best big bad belligerent bastard form in Unhinged as Tom Cooper, a psychopath with nothing to lose who turns newly-divorced single mother Rachel Hunter’s day into a bloody nightmare. Derrik Borte’s nail-biting thriller shamelessly splices the DNA of Spielberg’s Duel with Schumacher’s Falling Down to create a film that never knowingly undersells its potboiler potential as it becomes increasingly manic and adrenalized and, ultimately, completely fanciful.

Cooper has already done some Very Bad Things by the time he clashes with Rachel (Caren Pistorius) at the traffic lights where he has paused for breath. She’s already running late and desperate to get her young son to school and still make her first business appointment of the day, so she irritably honks her horn. She refuses to apologise to the ursine Cooper for what he sees as her unnecessarily provocative behaviour and inadvertently sets in motion a chain of events which will turn her bad day into a blood-drenched terrible one.

Crowe is a huge and unstoppable force of nature here, a man-mountain who swats aside or crushes anyone who gets in the way of the retribution against an unjust world that he feels is rightfully his and his pursuit of Rachel (played with a desperate, exhausted sense of disbelief by Pistorius) is ruthless and remorseless and, in places, a bit ridiculous. The last act tips into cheerful implausibility, requiring an inordinate level of suspension-disbelief, but for all its lunatic plot gymnastics and lack of narrative nuance, Unhinged is never less than a gripping and riveting ninety-odd minute thrill ride.

ASHENS AND THE POLYBIUS HEIST

CERT: 12 | PLATFORM: DIGITAL | RELEASE DATE: NOVEMBER 19^TH

Stuart Ashen, aka Ashens, is a comedian and actor best known for YouTube videos in which he unboxes worthless tat. His previous movie, The Quest for The Game Child, brought us into his strange world, in which useless bits of knock-off tech held earth-shattering secrets. It was ridiculous fun that was far funnier than it had any right to be.

The new movie opens with a parody of every cat-burglar scene we’ve ever seen before swinging straight into a title sequence that pokes fun at Bond and similar action movies. As you might be able to guess from the title, this is a crime-caper comedy. The plot revolves around the legendary arcade game, Polybius, a machine rumoured to have strange powers, now owned by mysterious the billionaire Anthony Agonist. Stuart has to pull together a team of unlikely geniuses to pull of the ultimate heist. The fate of the world depends on it.

The gags come thick and fast and yes, there are many puns. The style is an interesting mix of old-school Ealing comedy and more modern slapstick. The jokes pile on, each raising a wry smile until eventually you fall about giggling; it’s that sort of gentle but very silly humour that relies on accepting that each and every character is an idiot. This is a movie spawned from YouTube fandom, so there are plenty of nods and cameos throughout, most of which work seamlessly into the story. The result is that there’s a lot of very strong talent throughout the feature. This feature is a geeky, funny feast; Spaced for the YouTube and 8-bit generation. More like this please.

You can find the movie here.

MISTRESS OF BONES

Halloween might be over but that’s no excuse to let the horror fade, and Mistress of Bones, the latest short from Gigi Saul Guerrero, brings another of the quick blasts of majestic doom we have come to expect of her and Luchagore Productions.

The simple story sees a pair of grave robbers locate a forest burial ground hiding ancient treasures and re-awaken a battle between a pair of Aztec gods, but a wealth of backstory is implied the limited dialogue. Not only does it efficiently suggest past machinations of the human players who set things off, but also conveys that these minutes are a mere snapshot in a conflict that has played out over millennia, the puny humans caught in the crossfire mere pawns in an enmity that spans eternity.

The titular goddess of the dead Mictēcacihuātl (Nicole Muñoz), emerges backlit by a setting sun to silently challenge the forces being unleashed, looking more like a battle deity than Huītzilōpōchtli, the actual Aztec god of war. A vibrantly adorned mask you can almost swear changes expression between shots reveals only eyes that often seem just a little too wide, as though glaring in fury at the perversion of her domain.

As mesmerising in her warrior’s elegance as she is beautiful in her unchecked ferocity, as she battles the raw savagery of the minions used against her, the focused choreography results in a bloody and brutal fight, while mist swirls in eldritch eddies across the dusty ground arid with the secrets of the dead.

It’s in no way necessary to be familiar with Aztec mythology to understand what’s going on, information explicit and implied giving enough of an entry point into a world of monsters, blood magic, living gods, and power so ancient that the modern world has no sway over it, and may well inspire you to read up on the events’ inspirations.

Mistress of Bones is a perfect blend of action and myth that offers a swift, satisfying and quintessentially Mexican tale to chill you as the nights continue to get longer.

You can watch Mistress of Bones here.

THE CRAFT: LEGACY

DIRECTOR: ZOE LISTER-JONES | STARRING: CAILEE SPAENY, GIDEON ADLON, LOVIE SIMONE, ZOEY LUNA, MICHELLE MONAGHAN, DAVID DUCHOVNY | RELEASE DATE: OCTOBER 28TH

A standalone sequel to the 1996 cult classic, Blumhouse’s The Craft: Legacy sticks to a near-identical premise to its predecessor’s, following a quartet of outcast teen witches as they use magic to boost their social standing and strike back at their high school bullies. Second-time feature director and writer Zoe Lister-Jones gives the beloved property a glossy update, forgoing the original’s grim comedy in favour of something more akin to a horror-lite H&M ad – with fun outfits to boot.

As a modernised take on a feminist classic, Legacy brings together a coven of women who better represent the cultural landscape of 2020, particularly in the casting of Trans Latina actress Zoey Luna in a main role. Together with rising stars Cailee Spaeny (Pacific Rim: Uprising), Gideon Adlon (Blockers), and Lovie Simone, these young women are immensely watchable as they work to anchor this story in messages of acceptance and sisterhood.

What is unfortunate about this well-meaning adaptation is that it falls flat. Discourse around race and identity are kept to a couple of jokes or passing remarks, and issues of consent, gender roles, and sexuality are raised then swiftly abandoned. Even the movie’s climactic conflict lacks conviction, opting for an unoriginal, simplistic put-down of the patriarchy. Instead, Legacy centres itself firmly on the experience of a white, cisgender, presumably heterosexual woman whose biggest issue is that she doesn’t like her mum’s new boyfriend. Its avoidance of richer terrain is all-the-more obvious when one remembers how The Craft successfully navigated sexual assault, domestic abuse, racism, and mental illness without breaking a sweat.

What’s worse is that The Craft was absolutely ripe for a retelling. Yet instead of building on it and improving upon its shortcomings (see: using magic to make the popular guy fall for you, a plot point that is neither original nor on-message), Legacy just repeats those same mistakes. The Craft: Legacy has its heart in the right place, but its shallow execution and lack of daring make it a disappointing watch.

THE CRAFT: LEGACY releases in cinemas October 28th.

SPONTANEOUS

CERT: 15 | PLATFORM: APPLE, AMAZON, GOOGLE PLAY, SKY STORE, MICROSOFT | RELEASE DATE: OUT NOW

Unless you’re one of those people that hates movies where teenagers talk like world-weary slackers, there’s little to dislike about Spontaneous, the debut feature from The Babysitter scriptwriter Brian Duffield. In fact, other than that particular bug (which, you could argue, is far from unusual and probably more of a feature), everything about Spontaneous pops, just like the unfortunate high school seniors from Covington, New Jersey.

13 Reasons Why’s Katherine Langford is simply super as sparky Mara, who falls in love with Charlie Plummer’s Dylan even as the rest of their class fall victim to a mysterious condition which causes them to explode like blood-filled water-balloons. Mara’s long-term plan is to live in a Malibu beach house with best friend Tess, but the biological emergency causes her – and college-bound loner Dylan – to reassess their priorities.

Adapted from Aaron Starmer’s YA novel, Duffield’s script is whipsmart, and for a film about teen mortality it is very, very funny. The narrative is well-paced, letting the love story breathe and amping up the tension, as these teenagers stare death in the face and decide that it’s not going to define them, and is only amplified by the wonderful soundtrack, which mixes an original score by Joseph Trapanese with the likes of Sufjan Stevens and Tampa.

Despite its obvious shortcomings, 2020 has been a good year for small scene, heartfelt genre dramas, and Spontaneous stands tall among them. It’s the kind of film that you can judge your friends’ tastes by and, quite frankly, if they don’t like it then it might be time to get better friends.

LOVE AND MONSTERS

You’ll be watching Love and Monsters mentally ticking off a list of movies it’s brazenly but cheerfully borrowing from. A bit of A Quiet Place here, a touch of Tremors there, not to mention a tone keen to evoke the snappy humour of Zombieland alongside visuals sometimes reminiscent of Ray Harryhausen all wrapped around a YA narrative that actually manages to appear fresh and almost life-affirming even as it cheekily appropriates the best of a number of genre favourites.

A deadly asteroid hurtles towards the Earth. A phalanx of nuclear missiles blow it up but the toxic material falling back onto the planet’s surface has an unfortunate effect on cold-blooded life-forms, leading to the arrival of armies of giant frogs, snails, crabs and assorted slimy icky things which wipe out most of the human population and force survivors to live in underground colonies. Seven years later and our hero Joel (Dylan O’Brien of Maze Runner infamy), establishes radio contact with his girlfriend Aimee (Jessica Henwick), separated him from him at of the end of the world and now ensconced in a colony 85 miles away. With all around him in his colony paired up, Joel decides to make the perilous trek across hostile country to reach Aimee, encountering fellow survivors (including Michael Rooker’s grizzled Clyde) and horrible mutated monstrosities. Can he reach Aimee and her colony…and will he receive a warm welcome if he does?

Love and Monsters (no relation to the much-misunderstood 2006 Doctor Who episode) is terrific fun, a creature feature bursting with heart and optimism and no end of superb special effects, delivering a joyously upbeat adventure story that reminds us in difficult times that even when things look bleak beyond imagining, there’s always hope for a better and brighter tomorrow.

BLIND

PLATFORM: VOD | RELEASE DATE: NOVEMBER 16TH

Struggling to adjust after losing her eyesight to a botched laser eye surgery, actress Faye (Sarah French) tries to unwind with a quiet night in. Takeaway sushi, a few glasses of red wine; it’d be a lovely evening, if it weren’t for the crazed stalker slinking about the place. They say that love is blind – well, Pretty Boy (Jed Rowen) is determined to put that to the test. Why is this man who preys almost exclusively upon blind women wearing a mask? Director Marcel Walz never explains it, but Pretty Boy is a terrifying figure nevertheless.

The bare bones of the story will sound familiar to anyone who saw Mike Flanagan’s Hush, but this stalk ‘em up is… not that. The pacing is glacial, the action restrained and surprisingly lacking in gore. Sure, Pretty Boy racks up his kill count, but the film is more concerned with its heavily stylized cinematography (there’s at least two surrealist dance routines) and deeply unsettling atmosphere. French is a sympathetic lead, even if the film doesn’t give her much to do beyond get skeeved on by Pretty Boy and a creepy sushi delivery guy. After all, she’s unaware of his presence for almost the entirety of the movie. For the horror fans, there’s Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 star Caroline Williams as Faye’s pal Sophia – this and Ten Minutes to Midnight marking a good year for the veteran actress.

Part Giallo, part De Palma-esque slasher film, and part sleazy stalker picture, Blind is voyeuristic horror at its most voyeuristic. The creeping pace and that divisive, frustrating ending will piss a lot of people off, but this is easily, queasily, one of the most disturbing horror films this year.