Reconsidering THE SENTINEL

sentinel

“Friendships can blossom into bliss – let the knife lead you to us, and make you well again.”

The Devil enjoyed an enviable big-screen run between the late 1960s and mid-1970s: Roman Polanski’s shocker Rosemary’s Baby (1968) had convinced us that the red guy with horns could be living with the goofy couple next door whereas Ken Russell’s The Devils (1971) had shown us the dark lord was actually a choir boy compared to the perverse machinations of the Catholic Church and Vanessa Redgrave’s horny-in-other-ways Mother Superior. And then, of course, there was William Friedkin’s The Exorcist (1973) and Richard Donner’s The Omen (1976), which proved that true satanic evil knows no bounds when it is packaged up inside the body of a child.

Along the way there were some less respectable, but still highly entertaining offerings: 1971’s The Mephisto Waltz, in which Alan Alda’s failed concert musician was forced to swap bodies with devil worshipping Curt Jürgens (although the most unbelievable part of that film were the scenes in which Alda mimed playing the piano), 1975’s Race with the Devil, when Peter Fonda discovered that cross-country vacations and redneck devil worshippers do not mix, and – probably the best of the bunch – the Robert Fuest-directed The Devil’s Rain (also 1975), in which Captain Kirk found yet another excuse to lose his shirt, this time while doing battle with a goat-headed Ernest Borgnine.

But all good things must come to an end, and it was Michael Winner’s The Sentinel (1977) that finally brought the curtain down on the devil’s fun.

sentinel winner

Don’t get us wrong, The Sentinel isn’t a disastrous film (in fact, it’s arguably Michael Winner’s most enjoyable movie) but it isn’t exactly a success either. It is lightweight, exploitative, badly written (by Winner himself, although Jeffrey Konvitz’s shonky source novel didn’t give him a lot of room to manoeuvre) and flounders around a tepid lead performance from Cristina Raines, who looks gorgeous but was obviously saving her best work for Ridley Scott’s The Duellists, which was released later the same year. Still, she’s miles more watchable than her on-screen love interest Chris Sarandon, who is so nondescript and pimp-suited that when Universal executives saw the first rushes of the film they asked Michael Winner who the Greek waiter was. Winner had to remind them that Sarandon’s casting had been their decision, on the back of his Academy Award nomination for Dog Day Afternoon (1975). Still, we can’t be too hard on Sarandon. Eight years later, he would give a charmingly evil performance as the king vampire in Fright Night and, even better than that, his weaselly turn as Prince Humperdinck in 1987’s luminous The Princess Bride would have us all throwing popcorn at him from the back row. What better legacy is that?

So, enough chatter – what’s The Sentinel all about?

Alison Parker (Raines) is a successful model whose sanity has been teetering on the edge ever since she blundered into a bedroom where her naked emaciated father was having a cake orgy with two naked and distinctly un-emaciated hags. After her icing-flecked poppa angrily rips the crucifix off young Alison’s neck, she runs into the nearest bathroom and slashes her wrists, but it’s all okay because this is a flashback and now Alison is swishing her hair around Central Park while Jeff Goldblum snaps her photograph and boyfriend Sarandon takes her on romantic carriage rides.

But all is not well in Alison’s relationship with Michael (Sarandon), a dodgy high-flying lawyer who may or may not have something to do with his late wife’s death. Michael wants them to live together but Alison wants to find a place of her own “to prove I can take care of me”, which leads her to an ivy-clad New York brownstone and an austere wood-panelled apartment she can’t afford because it’s five hundred dollars a month – until realtor Miss Logan (Ava Gardner) automatically drops the price and pretends she actually said four hundred dollars and that Alison must have a hearing problem.

What a bargain, huh? With a deal like that, what could possibly go wrong? Surely it can’t have anything to do with the creepy Priest who is staring at Alison from the fifth-floor window because, as Miss Logan explains, “Father Halliran is blind… and kind of senile”.

“Blind? But then what does he look at?” Alison wonders, and you’ve got to give credit to composer Gil Mellé (whose score is one of the best parts of the movie) because he resists the urge to add a portentous ‘dum-dum-dum’ after she asks that question.

The next part of the story is largely uneventful, if you don’t count Alison inexplicably collapsing during a photo shoot and meeting her new neighbours – a puckish elderly gent called Charles Chazen (Burgess Meredith), who shows up with a parakeet and a black and white cat and leaves her a photograph of himself as a house warming present (unhelpfully forgetting to sign it ‘From your new pal, the Lord of Flies’ although it’s pretty obvious that’s who he is) and a lesbian couple (Sylvia Miles and Beverly D’Angelo), who take public displays of affection and self-pleasuring to the next level, especially when D’Angelo decides to spread her legs in front of Alison and intently rub something off the crotch of her ballet tights. At least, we think that’s what she was doing.

Amusingly, when D’Angelo, who had just played Ophelia in the Broadway musical Rockabye Hamlet, wanted Winner’s assurance that the masturbation scene would be done with good taste, Winner apparently replied, “I won’t be doing it, darling. You will”.

sentinel winner

But things really go awry when Chazen invites Alison to his cat’s birthday party and she meets the other people who live in her building, a motley crew who obviously failed the audition to play Mia Farrow’s neighbours in Rosemary’s Baby, but who couldn’t resist Winner’s offer to wear a party hat and play kookily sinister for all its worth. There’s obviously something deeply wrong about this crowd, which is underlined later that night when Alison dreams about being naked in front of them while a similarly naked D’Angelo crashes cymbals together (one slip and that could have been painful) and Michael watches impassively from a wicker chair. What is Alison’s subconscious trying to tell her? We’ll never know because some scarily heavy footsteps from the apartment upstairs wake her up and send her light fitting rocking (no, that’s not a euphemism).

When Alison returns to the realtor’s office to complain about her inconsiderate neighbour, she is told that, apart from the Priest, “No-one has lived in that building for three years”, which is the moment when anyone with half a survival instinct would have said “Don’t get me wrong, Ava. I loved you in Mogambo and that Tam Lin movie you made with Roddy McDowall but I don’t think this arrangement is going to work”, but where would be the fun in that? As Winner himself famously said: “If anyone in a horror movie behaved with any brain at all, the film would already be over”. Instead, the next time she hears the footsteps, our plucky heroine decides to check it out for herself, only to discover the ghoul of her dead father loping towards her from out of the shadows. Luckily, there’s a very sharp knife lying inexplicably close by and Dick Smith, the make-up genius from The Exorcist, is on hand with some squeamish eye-and-nose slashing prosthetic effects that still make us feel queasy more than forty years later. And Alison collapses again.

We won’t go into the rest of the story, except to say that police detectives Eli Wallach and Christopher Walken arrive on the scene and discover that all the neighbours Alison met at the cat’s birthday party are long-dead psycho killers, Arthur Kennedy (best known to genre fans from The Living Dead at Manchester Morgue) shows up as a dour-faced Monsignor to tell the now-suicidal Alison that Christ has a purpose for her (could it have anything to do with taking the creepy blind Priest’s place in the room upstairs?) and Michael discovers that his girlfriend is being lined up by the local diocese to – yes, you guessed it, take the creepy blind Priest’s place in the room upstairs. Because the Priest is the sentinel who’s guarding the gateway to Hell, but if Charles Chazen and his cohorts can convince Alison to kill herself before she accepts the job then Hell will be victorious and its denizens will be free to roam roughshod over New York City. Presumably. Or maybe they’d just prefer to stay indoors and throw more animal birthday parties. It’s never incredibly clear what their agenda is.

As most horror fans will already know, it is the climactic scene in the film -– when the Hellspawn arise and stagger zombie-like around the brownstone while Burgess Meredith climbs on a chair and, in a fun callback to his days as TV’s Penguin, ineffectually growls “Attack! Attack!” – for which The Sentinel is most notorious, mainly because Winner hired actors with actual physical deformities to play the demons. It was a choice that many viewers still consider a step too far, but Winner always defended his decision. “We needed a lot of denizens from Hell,” the director remembered in an interview several years later, “but we had a measly budget and we couldn’t have afforded to have all them in make-up for seven hours before they were due on set, so I chose genuinely deformed people to play those roles. They loved it. When the film opened in their hometowns they sent me press cuttings”. On one hand, we’ve got to admire Winner’s balls (presumably not the two that are seemingly hanging off one of the Hellspawn’s chins) while rolling our eyes at his crassness, but not even Tod Browning could recover his career after he ‘exploited for commercial reasons the deformed people’ in his 1932 film Freaks (that’s what the BBFC said, anyway) so how Winner thought he could get away with it unscathed is anyone’s guess.

Still, despite a lukewarm box office and a critical mauling, The Sentinel has developed a cult following over the intervening years and it’s easy to see why. As a slow-burn horror film (Winner, in his usual (im)modest way, considered it ‘glamorous’, ‘elegant’, and ‘Hitchcockian’), it does exactly what it says on the tin. It holds our interest for most of its running time, is occasionally disconcerting and fleetingly nasty, and the central conceit of a gateway to Hell – although very hackneyed now – was quite a novel idea at the time. In fact, without The Sentinel, we might not have Lucio Fulci’s The Beyond (1981) or Tibor Takács’ ‘so bad it’s good’ The Gate (1987). And, if you really squint hard through your rose-coloured glasses, you could almost convince yourself that The Sentinel is the schlocky ginger stepchild of Rosemary’s Baby – it’s obvious that Burgess Meredith is attempting to channel Rosemary’s wonderful Ruth Gordon during his initial scenes with Alison, not least in the moment when his character invites himself into Alison’s apartment and starts nosing around her belongings, which is a dead steal from Polanski’s film (and, before that, Ira Levin’s novel).

Before Winner came onboard, several screenwriters had attempted to adapt The Sentinel (including the book’s author), but with no success. Sales of the hardback had been paltry so Universal put the project into turnaround until the paperback was released and suddenly hit the bestseller lists, presumably capitalising on the phenomena that was William Peter Blatty’s The Exorcist. When Universal’s President Ned Tanen approached Winner at a party and contracted him to write a new version of the screenplay, he had no idea if Winner was even capable of the assignment. Winner ended up writing the screenplay in two weeks, but held off submitting it for another fortnight in case the execs thought it had been a rush job. He shouldn’t have worried. Tanen was so pleased with the result that he didn’t hesitate giving the project the greenlight and assigning Winner as director, but when Winner said he wanted Martin Sheen for the role of Alison’s boyfriend, Tanen refused because he considered Sheen to be a television actor. However, the director got his way with most of the other casting and the film is loaded with cameos from Hollywood’s greats, which is part of its charm. It is also notable for early big screen appearances from Goldblum, Walken, D’Angelo and a pre-Platoon Tom Berenger, who is shown around the newly rebuilt apartment by Ava Gardner at the end of the film (courtesy of a lovely exterior matte painting by master illusionist Albert Whitlock). There are no prizes for guessing what Berenger and his girlfriend are being lined up for. Only Alison, who is now a desiccated Nun staring blindly out of the top floor window, knows the truth.

sentinel winner

Although Winner publicly said Cristina Raines did a decent job in the leading role, he was upset at her refusal to appear nude on camera (her disrobing during the birthday party nightmare is the result of some tricky editing) and thought that D’Angelo would have made a better Alison if the studio had had the nerve to back her. As for Raines, her memories of making The Sentinel were mostly good although a lot of strange things purportedly happened while they were shooting at the Brooklyn Heights brownstone, when she found out that the apartment she was using as her dressing room had been rented by a Priest, it felt as if fact was swerving uncomfortably close to fiction.

So, is The Sentinel worth our time? As a Horror Obscura curiosity, absolutely. As a genuinely devilish horror, not so much. But one thing’s for sure – if you switch off your inner critic and take it for what it is, The Sentinel is still a hell of a lot of fun.

Prepare to enter the gates of Hell as THE SENTINEL screens on Horror Channel on March 9th. Sky 319, Virgin 149, Freeview 149, Freesat 138.

[ENDED] Win BUCK ROGERS IN THE 25TH CENTURY: THE COMPLETE SERIES

Buck Rogers in the 25th Century

Throughout the pantheon of classic genre shows, one of the most beloved is the Buck Rogers in the 25th Century series that ran from 1979 to 1981. And now, with that series fully restored for an upcoming Blu-ray release, we’ve got two sets of Buck Rogers in the 25th Century: The Complete Series to give away to some lucky readers.

To be in with a chance of winning this stunning prize, simply answer the below question:

Which UK channel was the first one to air Buck Rogers in the 25th Century?

a) ITV

b) BBC Two

c) Channel 5

Email your answer, along with your address details, to [email protected] labelled Buck Rogers before midnight on Sunday, March 18th.

The official word on this hotly-anticipated new release reads:

Sit back and enjoy all 33 episodes across 2 seasons of this timeless sci-fi classic, now fully restored and in Hi-Definition. 

Following the success of Star Wars and Battlestar Galactica, Glen A. Larson developed Buck Rogers in the 25th Century for television. Props, costumes, effects shots and sets from Battlestar Galactica (1978), which was still in production at the time, were recycled for the series.

The series ran for two seasons in America from 1979 – 1981. ITV began showing Buck Rogers on 30th August 1980. It was in the same Saturday timeslot that the BBC began screening season 18 of Doctor Who. Due to Buck Rogers’ popularity, Doctor Who’s ratings fell from a series high of 16.1 million to a low of 3.7 million – the lowest ratings in the programme’s history. This prompted the BBC to move Doctor Who to a weekday evening slot. The BBC began airing repeats of Buck Rogers on BBC Two in 1989 and again in 1995-96.

Synopsis: The year is 1987 and NASA launches the last of America’s deep space probes. Aboard this small starship is a lone astronaut, Captain William Buck Rogers. In a freak mishap Ranger 3 and its pilot are blown out of their trajectory into an orbit which freezes his life support system and returns Buck Rogers back to Earth 500 years later. He is forced to readjust to a new world and its people – who blame his generation for a nuclear holocaust which left the earth a radioactive wasteland. Buck is soon enlisted to help save the Earth from an alien threat, working with Colonel Wilma Deering and a robot-droid known as Twiki. They roam space and planets to welcome back the lost and dispossessed.

Twiki was mainly played by Felix Silla and voiced by Mel Blanc. Felix Silla also played “Cousin Itt” in The Addams Family. Mel Blanc, was an American voice actor who voiced pretty much every cartoon character you can think of including Bugs Bunny, Daffy Duck, Porky Pig, Tweety Bird, Sylvester the Cat, Yosemite Sam, Foghorn Leghorn, Pepé Le Pew, Speedy Gonzales, Wile E. Coyote, Road Runner and the Tasmanian Devil.

Cast: Gil Gerard, Erin Gray, Pamela Hensley (Season 1), Tim O’Connor (Season 1), Felix Silla, Mel Blanc, Eric Server (Season 1), Thom Christopher (Season 2), Jay Garner (Season 2), Wilfrid Hyde-White (Season 2).

Extras: ‘Buck Rogers in the 25th Century’- Theatrical version of the pilot episode ‘Awakening’, feature Length version of ’Flight of the War Witch’, syndicated 2 Part Version in Hi-Definition of ‘Journey to the Oasis’.

Buck Rogers in the 25th Century: The Complete Series is released on April 2nd.

[ENDED] Win THE DARK CRYSTAL Goodies

The Dark Crystal

One of the most beloved movies of so many of our childhoods is easily Jim Henson and Frank Oz’s iconic 1982 effort, The Dark Crystal. With the film having now been given a stunning 4K Ultra HD release, we’ve got three copies of this new release to give away along with the mesmerising The Dark Crystal: The Ultimate Visual History.

To be in with a chance of winning a 4K Ultra HD copy and a copy of this all-encompassing book, simply answer the below question:

The Dark Crystal co-director Jim Henson famously created which other of these childhood favourites?

a)The Muppets

b) Thundercats

c) Transformers

Email your answer, along with your address details, to [email protected] labelled The Dark Crystal before midnight on Sunday, March 18th.

The official word on this new release of the iconic The Dark Crystal reads:

In another time, The Dark Crystal was the Balance and Truth in the Universe, but was destroyed dividing the world into two factions: the wicked Skeksis and the peaceful Mystics. Now as the convergence of the three suns approaches the Crystal must be heralded or darkness will reign forever. It is up to Jen, the last of his race, to carry out the prophecy that a Gelfing will return the mission chard of crystal and destroy the Skeksis’ evil Empire. But will Jen be up to the challenge of battling the unknown?

Directed by Jim Henson and Frank Oz with producer Gary Kurtz, The Dark Crystal is a fantasy masterpiece weaving a timeless myth of Good and Evil.

Blu-ray Disc Bonus Features

  • All-new: The Myth, Magic and Henson Legacy featurette
  • Deleted Scenes
  • Commentary with Brian Froud
  • Picture-in-Picture Storyboard Track
  • Original Skeksis Language Scenes with Introduction by Screenwriter David Odell
  • The World of The Dark Crystal documentary
  • Reflections of The Dark Crystal: Light on the Path of Creation & Shared of Illusion featurette
  • Photo Galleries
  • Theatrical Teaser & Trailer

 THE DARK CRYSTAL out now on 4K Ultra HD™, Blu-ray™ and DVD

The Dark Crystal: The Ultimate Visual History is a lavish compendium featuring candid set photography, unseen concept art and amazing removable pieces such as script pages and sketches form Henson, a must-have for any Dark Crystal fan!

Tristan Risk | ALIENS ATE MY HOMEWORK

Tristan Risk Aliens Ate My Homework

Here at STARBURST, one of our huge favourites is the delightful and fascinating Tristan Risk. Having caught up with this modern horror fave at several points over the past few years, we sat down to grab some time with Little Miss Risk to discuss her foray in to the world of more family-friendly content with the hotly-anticipated Aliens Ate My Homework adaptation. In addition to that, we also had a good ol’ natter about Tristan’s work with the marvellous Caravan of Creeps circus sideshow, her experiences in the horror realm, Canadian lake monsters, her love of snakes, mermaid escape acts, making her directing debut with the upcoming Parlour Tricks, and a whole, whole lot more.

STARBURST: How did you end up involved with Aliens Ate My Homework?

Tristan Risk: Oh gosh. MASTERSFX were the people who were producing this film as well as doing all of the practical and visual effects for it. There’s a female character named Madame Pong. They’d asked around, “Do you know of anyone who’d be suitable for this role?” It was a lot of prosthetics, and if you’re not used to working with them then they can be a little bit difficult. As Doug Jones has proven, it takes the right person to bring those types of characters to life. And Todd [Masters – producer and MASTERSFX founder] threw my name on the table. I auditioned for the producers, they liked what they saw, and that is how I became Madame Pong, who is the Diplomatic Officer of the Starship Ferkel.

You seem quite giddy about that?

Yeah! I grew up reading Aliens Ate My Homework, My Teacher is an Alien… the very first one I read was Jeremy Thatcher, Dragon Hatcher. It was different in the fact that the protagonist has cerebral palsy, and you barely ever see any main characters in literature who are differently abled. So that was the first thing that caught my eye. Second was that it had this really great story about this boy raising this dragon and just kind of dealing with the daily challenges of being someone who is differently abled. Not everything is as accessible as you would hope in the world for people like that. It was a really great book. Just having the chance to make a film based on one of the books I grew up reading gave me such pleasure. It’s amazing. I’m such a literary nut. I grew up in the library at school.

With the prosthetics for Madame Pong, how did that compare to the vast amount of prosthetics you’ve done for your horror output and performance shows over the years?

Well, she’s got these huge pointy ears, very elf-ish. She looks like this alien space fairy princess. I don’t know if I can sum it up any better than that. Because of the nature of her head and everything, it was a full head piece. So it’s face, head, everything down to my neck was covered. I had caps on all my fingers to elongate them. Then I was also wearing high-heeled platform shoes to give me extra height. I had a floor-length cloak. It was very much just my hands and my face and my eyes, and then there were the other aliens who suffered so much more than I did! Alex [Zahara] who played Tar, he had to wear an extra set of legs on the outside of his legs. Then he had animatronics, little eyes that were looking around and were controlled by somebody else. He had these two little slits to look out of. We all had dental teeth caps as well as fingers, and he had the fingers, too. He had fingers, face covered, animatronics, and he was sweating so much at one point that it actually shorted out the electronics. Brad [Proctor] who was playing the space plant Phil – who’s voiced by William Shatner – he was doing the classic ‘arm straight up’ then the other arm trying to keep everything going, trying to make this character come alive without dying from all the weird positions and the extensions that you’re having to hold to keep this character up. And Dan [Payne] who plays Captain Grakker, he was in a scuba suit, and it was hot, and there was motocross gear on top. He’s on a Disney show where he plays a villain who also wears a lot of prosthetic make-up, so he was an old hand at doing the suit work, but it doesn’t get any easier with time.

As uncomfortable as I might have been at times, I’d look over at those guys and think, “Yeah, I might be a little uncomfortable, but those guys… those guys are not complaining at all, and I am not going to be the one to say my feet hurt or this dress is tight. Those guys are suffering WAY more than I am”. The thing is, it’s not a ‘forever’ discomfort. Yes, it’s not the most comfortable, but you also know that you’re not going to be doing it for 24 hours. There’s a light at the end of the tunnel. I don’t have to put it on or take it off, I just have to maintain. I literally have the easiest job out of everybody else.

Tristan Risk Aliens Ate My Homework

Tristan as Madame Pong alongside Dan Payne’s Captain Grakker in Aliens Ate My Homework

 

How long was the process of becoming Madame Pong?

Four hours!

And how many days were you on set doing that every day?

I think I had about eight to twelve days. It was last year, and I can’t remember what I did last night! I remember it wasn’t a super long time. They tried to make sure that they get as much in on the days once you’re in there, so it’s not like they’re dragging it out and making you go through this for a ridiculous amount of time. They’re pretty mindful about that, which was really awesome.

How did it work in terms of the sets for you guys? Did they just make overblown, oversized sets, or were there elements of CGI?

Yeah, it was pretty awesome. Do you remember Honey, I Shrunk the Kids? It was kind of like that. When we would walk on set and there’s this giant spaceship leg and we’re on a kid’s desk, and there’s all this school stationery stuff floating around. Then there’s another set where we’re inside of his knapsack and we’re eating these big strips of math homework. They made it out of this special paper so we’re able to bite in to it and chew it up. It was pretty cool. It was really funny running around on set with all of these oversized items. Then there’s a few things that are green screen, but it’s not about making it as green screen as possible, it’s about having practical effects in place.

What was the reaction like when people saw you fully done-up as Madame Pong for the first time, and what was your reaction to the rest of the cast in their outfits?

It was like, “Oh, so this is what we’re gonna look like in this movie?” We got to set much earlier to do the make-up. We had to be there at like 4am or 5am, then we were in make-up for four hours. We were getting finished just as the crew was breaking for lunch. So the first time anyone saw us really was when we were going to the craft services to get fed. Afterwards, the make-up artist would have to touch up all our faces because we’d been eating. It was funny because the kids would be there filming all of their stuff. Then we’d film our crossover alien stuff with them as much as possible afterwards, because kids can only be on set for so long as we don’t want to exploit small humans – that’s wrong! We would have a limited window where we were aliens on set and when they were on set, so they never saw us without make-up on ever! They only know us by our alien selves.

And you’ve never met the youngsters since filming wrapped?

No! I’d be like, “Well, maybe ignore the more adult things I’ve done. Younger audience. Hi guys!”

Tristan Risk Aliens Ate My Homework

On the set of Aliens Ate My Homework

 

As you touched on, a lot of what you’ve done is horror, blood, gore, sex, more adult-orientated themes. Did it feel strange to now be doing something more family-friendly and targeted at children?

I’m happy to do something that’s not evil or demonic or supernatural for a change. It was a little bit of an adjustment in my mind knowing now that I’m going to have a younger audience in some respects. I’ve never tried to be a role model, but it’s just now being mindful of how I present myself. As an adult woman and as someone who still works very much in more adult themes, I’m not going to apologise for what I do but I am also going to make sure that if there were kids to see this then it wouldn’t be a terrible influence in any kind of way. You know, I have the hope that kids get in to this movie and that they really like Madame Pong, so when they are, like, maybe in their 20s they Google me and go back and be all, “Oh my gosh, Madame Pong was in Penthouse in Germany! What is life?!” I’m not opposed to it, it’s my secret gift to any future fans I have [laughs].

Over the past few years, have you found yourself consciously becoming more wary about what you put out there and let people see of ‘Tristan the person’ as opposed to ‘Tristan the actress’?

There’s definitely been in my life recently a change in how I present myself on social media. It’s a powerful tool and it’s one of those things that it doesn’t go away. And we’re seeing it now with the #MeToo thing where some guy will post some sort of comment, and then sure as shit if he’s posted something that’s contradicted that then you know one of the ladies on his friend list will put something up and be, like, “Oh yeah, that’s not what you were saying two years ago!” I think that that’s something now we’re developing our technical memory. I like to think of putting more positive stuff out there than negative, and sometimes I can be cynical, and sometimes I can be very wordy about how cynical I am on certain topics. I think that if it’s approached in a humourous way, it can be funny and people can appreciate it without it sounding like being negative or poorly reflected upon. I’m a big fan of fine British humour, because you’re able to get that point across without coming across as offensive. It’s a little more of a witty humour, which is what I’d prefer to be perceived as with my grumpy, bitchy point of view. So I think it’s something that I’m very aware of. And also, too, as we get older I don’t really feel like I have as much to prove now in terms of being the biggest badass on the block.

I used to want to be the loudest and most outrageous, and I feel like I’m pretty satisfied with a lot of the work that I’ve done in that regard. Now I’m exploring other things in my life, like I’ve restarted painting again and more of my writing, and working on bringing my visions to life in terms of directing some of the stuff I write. That’s kind of where I’m shifting my focus to these days.

Was there a certain moment that triggered that change or did it just seem like a natural progression?

There was that, but also I’d been touring frequently in the last few years. I toured very hard from 2005 to 2010, and then I took a break from touring. I was a burlesque dancer with a band. That was a big chunk of my 20s. I spent the last few years doing that, and doing a lot of conventions and film festivals. Those are all really great, but I find that the touring takes it out of me these days. I can’t do it on the scale I want to at the comfort level that I would prefer, so I don’t. Conventions, I’m kind of disenchanted with them because I find that there’s always something about them in terms of there being an element of disorganisation or the behaviour of some of the other male guests towards the female fans. There’s just things I find distasteful about them that I don’t really enjoy. That’s my own personal feeling. And also when people come to see you and they want to buy all the things on your table and support you, but I feel that it’s kind of a weird thing. I think this is why I’ve started my Patreon account, because I feel that, like, okay, instead of paying me money for an autograph and a selfie at a convention, let me give you more of actually what I am – which is blogs, writing, behind the scenes stuff where it’s more, like, if you really want to see a chunk of my brain, let me give you your money’s worth at least. I’m planning on recording some of my performances and just editing them for video, so it’s like short films. It’s kind of like being able to go on tour without going on tour. It also gives people direct access because I might not be going on tour but people might want to see me perform. And if I do end up performing live, that’s something I can add in there for people to see, to see behind the scenes and to see the backstage situation there.

I think the other thing too – it’s fun to get invited to these things as a guest, absolutely – is just the degree of seeing how much some guests are taken care of compared to other guests. You’ve got people who are brilliant artists who are at these things flogging their work and their souls and their blood, and they’re shoved to a basement part of the building. These are the original people who are creating the content that everybody’s a fan of! Like, why are you not valuing the writers and the artists as much as the actors and the directors? Are we not all of equal artistic value and integrity? All I do is show up to work and do what I’m told. I’m not saving lives and I’m not curing cancer. You don’t really get as much time to talk to people individually. It’s more, “Hi, how are you? I’ll take your money and I’ll take a photo,” and then you’ve got to shuffle them along.

When I used to work as a stripper, people weren’t really paying to see me naked. We all know that there’s the Internet, and there’s a lot of nudity on the Internet. People don’t want that when they go to the club. What they want is the experience, what they want is that interaction. I think that’s why these people do go to these conventions. They want that little bit of interaction. Just seeing it be forced in to being just two seconds – bless every guest who stays behind and waits for every fan who waited in line for them. I find that extremely respectful to the fans, and when I see people who show up and they’re late or they’re flippant or they’re hungover or still drunk… I realise you’re here to have a good time, but at the same time don’t forget why you’re here.

Tristan Risk Aliens Ate My Homework

On the Starship Ferkel

 

Going back to Aliens Ate My Homework, you said you didn’t get the chance to meet the kids without your make-up on. Did you get to meet William Shatner at all during the production, or did he just record his vocals elsewhere?

I didn’t get a chance to meet Shatner, no. He did his own ADR once the footage was shot. But it’s so cool that he’s involved in this and he gets introduced to another fresh generation who can be, like, “The plant guy was the guy riding the spaceship? Are you kidding me?” “Yes, yes Timmy. Once, Phil also looked after the Enterprise!”

In Bruce Coville’s book series, Aliens Ate My Homework is the first of four stories. Obviously it’s early days and these things are always dependent on success and finances, but are there any tentative plans that you’re aware of to move forward with a sequel should this film do well?

It’s my understanding that they would like to do all of the books as films, but again it comes down to how this one is received. If this one is received well, it’s then kind of where it’s going to go from there. I do think that they left it open and with enough interest that everyone’s going to go, “But mom, what happens next? There’s a big reveal, and now we need to know what the next step is” in a Harry Potter sort of way.

And you’d be fine with returning for four hours a day in make-up?

You know what, there’s so many other jobs I’d rather not do. Sitting there, letting someone else do all the stuff for me? Sure, I’m in to it [laughs].

Last time we spoke back in 2016, Frankenstein Created Bikers was just coming out and you’d just finished working on Ayla. You were also attached to Boogeyman: Reincarnation, which was originally looking for a release in 2016. Do you have any idea what’s happening with that?

I’ve not seen that either! I keep hearing about it. I think it was a TV series that was happening, then wasn’t happening. I think the most scary thing about Boogeyman Reincarnation is the ghost of a chance that we might actually get to see it at some time [puts on creepy laugh].

We saw the teaser trailer which had you pegged as an ‘American Scream Queen’…

Like, not really. And it had Laurence advertised for it too, Laurence R. Harvey. It was, like, “Cool, we get to do a film together… but I don’t know who’s going to get to see it!”

Laurence joined us at our inaugural STARBURST International Film Festival, and, of course, you’ve worked with him on Jill Gevargizian’s Call Girl and James Bickert’s aforementioned Frankenstein Created Bikers. Were you aware that there’s actually a Call Girl manga out there, and if so, any idea how that came to be?

They’d screened Call Girl at a Japanese horror festival. The people who put it together were so in to Call Girl, and the concept itself is also very J-horror. It’s very dark, and just when you think it’s dark, it gets even darker. I love anime and manga so much, like misplaced white girl appropriation. I grew up on Sailor Moon and Bubblegum Crisis and Akira and Pokémon, so being in a Japanese manga based on a film I was in was really, really, really, really exciting. I really hope to get a chance to go over to Japan because their type of horror just appeals to me so much.

Tristan Risk Laurence R. Harvey Call Girl

Daiju Kurabayashi and Hiro Fujii’s Call Girl comic

 

You must be ticking off a personal bucket list by this point. You’ve got your own Japanese comic, the Soskas kind of put you in to a Guardians of the Galaxy comic – which, by the way, we hope you have framed!

I’ve got a copy. There’s my comics that I read, then there’s the comics that mean something to me. Having Kitty Pryde being called Little Miss Risk by Rocket Racoon was pretty fucking cool! The Soskas said that Marvel tried to change that, then they were, “We noticed you made an edit. We would like that returned to how it was before.” They were all, “Are you trying to incept Tristan Risk to be Kitty Pryde?” and they were just, “Yes!” I’m probably the most Kitty Pryde person on the planet; my partner is turning in to a purple space dragon! What else do you need?! I’m not really a computer hacker, but I’m really good at turning computers on and off again, and that usually fixes everything, right?

Your partner is Burns, and the last time we spoke he’d had horns and a split tongue done. What’s next in terms of body modification?

He’s basically modded out. He’s going to have a few more transdermal implants, he’s going to get his tongue re-split for a deeper V split, and then he’s going to be tattooed from head to toe in a motif. They look like dragon scales now that they’ve healed, and the idea is that when the tattoo is done then it will give the texture of dragon scales, too. It’s not something where you can just go to Mexico or Thailand for a month and get all the surgery done. I mean, you could but it would cost a lot of money and it would be a lot for you body to absorb and handle all at once. So Burns has been spacing it out. He beat the Guinness World Record for the world’s longest tattoo, then someone beat him for it. Now he’s going to beat that record again by ten hours or so. He’s like, “I need to beat the World Record. I’ll get all of this tattoo work done, then all of a sudden I’m fast-forwarded to being this dragon.”

What’s the record at now?

He got it to 51 hours, then the person who beat him got to 52. You get a five-minute break every hour. That means you can go for three hours straight then go for a 15-minute break. Burns isn’t allowed to sleep while he’s getting tattooed, and the tattoo artist obviously has to be awake the whole time. That’s how that works. And we found out that the tattoo artist – Brandon Fancie from Lucid Tattoo & Design – he had a lot of blood pooling in his ankles at one point, so he had to elevate his legs while he was tattooing. It’s things you don’t think of when you’re doing tattoos for nearly three days.

How are things doing with the Caravan of Creeps right now? From social media, it seems like you guys have some ridiculously cool things going on all of the time!

It’s doing really well. We’re going to be performing on the gala night on February 25th [this interview took place just before the 25th] at the Vancouver Badass Film Festival since Burns and I and a few other Creeps are in a number of films that are being screened throughout the weekend. Game Over is our big games expo and performance dance party that’s happening at the end of April. I’ll also be running the only circus sideshow tent at the 4/20 protest and rally in Vancouver.

Tristan Risk Burns Caravan of Creeps

Tristan and Burns performing at Lost Girls Burlesque Halloween Ball

 

How much do these shows take out of you? Is it just a breeze now, or do you usually need a bit of downtime afterwards?

It depends. I don’t think I need a lot of downtime afterwards, more I need more prep time to make sure that we have all of the things that we wind up breaking or destroying in the show, that all of the flammable materials are all ready to go and that our fire safety kit is on point, whoever is on our fire safety is well briefed on what to do in case of any given emergency. It’s more in the prep work, whereas afterwards I can just relax and enjoy. If I’ve had grinder spray then it’s getting metal flecks off my back, but it’s nothing afterwards where I have to lie down flat for an extended period of time. That’s more after a strenuous dance session at a festival. That’s like, “Oh my god, I can’t dance for two hours straight anymore… but that was so good!”

Of all of the acts you’ve done over the years, is there any particular one that stands out where ahead of time you were a bit “Oh shit, this could go really wrong”?

There’s a trick that Burns and I do with a whip, where when we do it I hold a newspaper out and he cuts it in half with the whip one way. Then I hold it the narrow way and he whips it again the narrow way. Then I take a rose and he whips the blossom off the rose, then I take another rose and put it between my teeth. When I’ve got the rose between the teeth at a Halloween show – and this is our first time performing this in front of an audience, but we’ve been fine in rehearsal every time – he caught my arm just a little bit when he was doing the newspaper, but I didn’t flinch. I didn’t let anyone know, I was ice-fucking-cold, I was rock steady. I’ve got that rose between my teeth and I’m leaning out, and I just think, “But what if…?” Then I tried to think of how many times did he hit the vape pen before we started this, and before you know it the blossoms gone and the moment’s done. But there was that moment of “Huh… well I probably shouldn’t worry too much or think about it too hard, because you don’t wanna manifest the wrong thing”.

The last time we spoke, you mentioned the Okanagan lake monster. What exactly is that legend?

Lake Okanagan has a sea serpent. Much like Loch Ness has Nessie, Okanagan has Ogopogo. There’s some funny parallels to Okanagan that there are to another river monster that’s in British Columbia. People try to disprove the existence of Ogopogo by saying it’s a giant sturgeon that’s coming up, that you’re seeing it on the top of the water. But there’s been enough reports from people to say that it’s definitely not something that’s just flat on the water, that there’s definitely something sticking out from the water. Okay, it might be some sort of giant eel, it might be some sort of reptile. We don’t know. In Quesnel, north of there is a place called the Wells and they do this big thing every year called The ArtsWells Festival. The last time we were there, I noticed there was a painting on the side of one of the buildings, and I was just, “Hmm, this looks like an indigenous design. I should ask about it… the big sea snake thing out there, what’s that about?” So, the legend is that there’s this big sea snake thing that travels to the rivers through the tunnels in the mountains. Now you’ve got this thing that started with just the rivers, it now actually travels through the mountains as well and it can go from place to place to place. That’s really cool, but that’s no relation to anything to do with Ogopogo. So okay, there’s obviously something going on, whether it’s a big frickin’ snake or something, there’s clearly something to this. So that is the myth and the legend of Ogopogo in Okanagan.

What do you believe?

I haven’t seen it disproved. We’re finding new lifeforms all the time out there in the main oceans, so there’s no reason not to assume that the same changes and mutations aren’t happening in the Okanagan as well. Because of the sheer depth of it, we can’t check. So it’s, “Alright, well we don’t know. You can’t tell me there is, you can’t tell me there isn’t”. Until people prove to me without a shadow of a doubt that it does not exist, I’m willing to believe that there is something down there. And that is why I don’t swim in Lake Okanagan, ‘cos fuck that shit!

You’re happy to swim with sharks, though?

Yeah, we’ve been studying sharks! We’ve not been studying Ogopogo! Sharks, okay, we know don’t pet it [laughs].

Tristan Risk Burns Caravan of Creeps

Tristan and Burns performing at Lost Girls Burlesque Halloween Ball,
Photograph courtesy of Bob Ayers, 2017

 

Previously you’ve said about how you’re always usually given great scrips. Have you had anything since then where you’ve thought, “No, this is too much”?

It’s not because they were extreme, it was because they were just bad scripts; they were poorly written. I was, “Yeah, maybe I don’t get the vision of this, or I’m having difficulty visualising what you want out of this”, but the dialogue was so… I don’t think I could’ve done anything with it myself, and I feel like it was coming from someone who was definitely a first-time writer/director. It was, “I don’t think you really know what you’re doing here”. It was just a lot of repetitive kind of dialogue. It wasn’t like it was bad or, like, “Oh my god, that’s in such bad taste!” It was just, “I don’t think I can do this, I’m gonna pass on this one”. I appreciate being thought of, but I just don’t feel like I was appropriate for that part. And they weren’t happy with that. Some people can be a little bit more persistent, but thankfully, “Okay, cool. Thanks for the feedback, thanks for reading it,” and just go and have someone else, which is totally fine. But there’s some people who are more, “But why, but why?” “Because I fucking said no, that’s why!” It’s like going to a bar and asking to buy me a drink. “No”, “Why, will your boyfriend get mad?” “No,” “Do you have a boyfriend?” “No, I just don’t wanna fucking talk to you and I don’t want your drink. I said no, I don’t have to justify it, I just said no!”

One big question we have to ask you, if you could play American Mary’s Beatress or Frankenstein Created Bikers’ Val one more time, which character would get the nod?

Beatress! I love Val, but oh my god, to be able to play Beatress again – that would be so awesome! It’s hard to choose. It’s like having to choose your favourite daughter. Val, I love and she was so fun, and so cathartic, but Beatress has done me a lot of favours. I would love to continue to give life to that character because there’s so many people who got a kick out of her.

Tristan Risk Beatress Val American Mary Frankenstein Created Bikers

American Mary‘s Beatress and Frankenstein Created Bikers‘ Val

 

You and the Soskas are best friends these days, and they just so happen to be developing a remake of David Cronenberg’s Rabid. Is there any chance of you making an appearance in that film?

Possibly. I don’t know who they’re casting for the main roles, but I would love to be involved in Rabid if there was a place for me. We’ll see if there’s a role that’s suitable for me to audition for. I’ve not ruled it out.

Speaking of the Soakas, we’ve been absolutely dying to check out their horror game show Hellevator, but it’s somehow yet to be picked up here in the UK.

It’s one of those shows that, because the Game Show Network is on every accessible channel, it has opened people up to not just the Soskas but to horror. It’s like, “Oh, this is kinda scary and kinda fun. We’ll watch this! This is kinda cool. Hey, they do actual horror movies, we should check these out! They recommend these titles, we should check these out.” And that helps put horror in to mainstream culture. 

You’ve mentioned before about your love of creature features, but what would be the ultimate dream project you’d love to tackle?

I really want to play a mermaid on film really badly. I’ve got my custom mermaid tail coming soon, and I’m going to be posting probably an obnoxious amount of photos and videos of that. I really want to play a mermaid on film because I was so inspired by seeing Daryl Hannah in Splash years and years ago. It was the one thing where I was like, “See! She’s a mermaid, I can be a mermaid!” To be able to do that on film, and to show off my ability to swim under water. And Daryl Hannah did all of that swimming herself; that was not a stunt person, that was all her. So I’ve got a huge amount of respect for that lady. I really enjoy swimming and diving, so I would like to show off my mermaid skills and possibly even bring some of my other mermaid friends along to show off what they can do.

See, this is just one of the reasons why you’re so awesome to chat to – you have mermaid skills and mermaid friends! Would this mermaid suit be for out at sea or is salt water a no go, though?

Oh no, it’s good in salt, it’s good in chlorine, it’s good in fresh water. It is good to go. It’s made from the same material that your wetsuits are made of, then it’s got a silicone latex on top which gives the illusion of scales. It is good to go anywhere, but after chlorine and salt I would rinse it off. I have a few mermaid tales from an installation I did a few years ago, and a lot of those are just fabric that’s been printed over the top. I took them in to a pool once but they just got chewed up. But the chlorine isn’t so rough on the other materials. 

And we’re guessing you’ve already got ideas on how to incorporate a mermaid act in to the Caravan of Creeps shows?

I really want to get a tank on stage that I can be submerged in. I do an underwater escape act. Actually, when I was living with Lola Frost years and years ago, she came home to me in the bathtub with the straitjacket on. She said to me, “Promise me you will not practice this when you’re home by yourself again!” Now that I have practiced that, I really want to do it in the mermaid tail because I think it’d be extremely rad.

We’re imagining it’d be extremely difficult, too?

Meh, anything worth doing is worth doing well.

Tristan Risk Caravan of Creeps

Tristan performing with the Caravan of Creeps

 

You’ve already mentioned conventions and how you’ve changed your approach in how you put yourself out there as your career has progressed. What’s the best and most bizarre fan experience you’ve had over the years?

There’s been a variety of different experiences. I don’t know if this would be counted as a fan experience, but I remember I was coming home from work one day. I live a 10-minute walk to work from my house, so I walk to work every day. And I was probably wearing headphones. I get home from work one day, I put on my computer, I make a cup of tea, I go on Facebook and there’s a message from someone I don’t know. I was all, “Hey new friend!” And he was all, “Hey, it was good to see you before. I saw you when you got off work today and I wanted to say ‘hi’, but I didn’t know how so I just followed you until you went to your house. Then I got too shy to say anything, so I just decided to write you this note instead.”

That’s how horror films start!

Meanwhile, I’ve gone and locked all of my doors, wondering if he can still see me. Now he knows I’m home, does he know I’m home by myself? All these things go through my head. I’m fucking terrified because I had no idea I was being followed home from work! It was off my radar, I had my headphones in… I was so, so scared. I slept with all the lights on that night, and I slept in the bathtub because I can lock the bathroom door. I was living in the basement suite, so I was, “Oh god, this is how I die!” And I slept with a knife under my pillow, so, “If anyone finds me or anyone comes in, I will gut them like a fish or die trying!” That was probably one of the most unsettling moments I’ve had.

That almost sounds like the title of an autobiography, “Gut Them Like a Fish or Die Trying”.

It was someone who lived locally and obviously didn’t know that that was something that would scare the crap out of a person. I don’t really know even who I would call or what charges I would press. They didn’t do anything, it’s not stalking, it was just a one-time thing and I’ve never heard from this person since. I couldn’t really tell who they were and it’s hard to get a sense of who they were from the few Facebook photos they had. So sometimes when I’m walking around the main drag by my house, I don’t know if the person is there or not. It’s really unsettling to go through life being, “Huh, are you my potential killer? Or is it you that’s my potential killer? I don’t know, it’s hard to say.” This person clearly didn’t have an idea that that is a terrifying thing for a woman to deal with. It made me really aware that I can’t not be aware. What if that person hadn’t just been socially awkward? That could’ve really been a trap – I could be dead by now or had acid thrown in my face or who fucking knows. It’s really scary.

Tristan Risk Jen Sylvia Soska Twinpool Blood Drive PSA

Tristan with the Twisted Twins on the Twinpool Blood Drive PSA

 

You seem to be constantly busy all of the time, so what are you currently working on at the moment?

Well, I’m going to be directing my first short film that I also wrote called Parlour Tricks in the beginning of March. I have an awesome cast for that who are a few Creeps and a few non-humans, then also some awesome Vancouver cabaret artists. And I’m also excited for the Badass Film Festival at the end of the month in Vancouver. They’re screening Ayla, they’re screening The Mother of Beauty, they’re showing the Soskas’ Blood Drive PSA. It’s very much a film family jam, which is nice. Going to so many other festivals, it’s really nice to have it in my hometown, in my neighbourhood. It’s a 20-minute walk from my house, or stumble depending on how things go.

I am giving my first snake dance workshop in Vancouver, for women or men if they are interested. That’s basic snake handling tips, then how to do choreography and dance work with our legless ladies, because it can be a little bit of a problem. Burns and I will often once a month give a snake handling workshop out of our home. We’ll also do a dance workshop, and we’ll also do a photoshoot with a professional photographer and with all five of our snakes just to have for their own portfolio. We’ve done really well in the joys of handling snakes and giving people a chance to get used to handling them, getting a chance to ask somebody what to do in different situations before they go out and buy one. A lot of people will just get them and figure it out as they go without giving further thought to whether this is really right for you.

Something Burns and I also do is we take rescue snakes as well. People can’t care for their snakes anymore, or they get a boyfriend or girlfriend who doesn’t like snakes, or whatever. So if the snakes need any work, are bitey at all, need to be calmed down, or they just need assisted handling before they’re ready to be adopted – we do that. Then when they’re ready we put them up for adoption. Most people who do our courses who are interested in snakes like to come by and meet the snakes to see if they like them. We’re more interested in finding personal home solutions for snakes rather than people rushing out without thinking about what the care entails… and then us ending up with the snakes at the end [laughs].

And how many snakes do you and Burns have between you right now?

Six snakes. We’re fostering one snake right now that’s not ours. We’ve got a bearded dragon, a roughneck monitor lizard, and one fat orange tabby cat who’s around here somewhere.

You’ve talked about having so much on your doorstep. What’s the reaction locally when people see Tristan Risk walking around?

I like living where I live because I like that it’s made up of a lot of people like me who are all artists and we all support each other. You see people you know in the neighbourhood who you work with and you live with. It’s kind of a small town feel without actually being in a small town. Downtown is only 10-minutes away, but we’re on the east side because that’s where the artists can afford to live, where we make our art. You know when you go and see a film that’s made up of a great ensemble cast made up of a lot of cool people? It’s kind of more like that. I’m part of a constellation rather than being a single star.

Tristan Risk

Photo courtesy of Tom Gould Photography, make-up by Make Up Jems

 

Is there anything you can tell us about your directorial debut Parlour Tricks right now in terms of plot and story?

Well it is horror-based, but it’s also a comedy. It’s a short film, and it’s going to be shot locally here in Vancouver in the beginning of March. We’re all going to come together and work on Parlour Tricks, which takes place in a Victorian parlour and has to do with a Ouija board and the summoning of some spirts and the problems that the crew have with that.

When did you first realise that you wanted to direct something?

It’s something that’s been brewing in my head just because I had the concept of doing more short films based around what I was doing. Again, I didn’t have to tour or if I wanted to show somebody what my vision was then it’s more a complete vision versus what I can do on stage live. I had that little thing sitting in the back of my head for a while. I’d written a bunch of short scripts that I thought were pretty funny or were worth putting together as films. Strangely enough, my first AD Topher Graham, I was trying to get him to direct Parlour Tricks. He was more, “Okay, you should really direct this,” “No, no, I’m not a director, I don’t know technical shit!” Then we were going over our shot list and I was all, “Ooh, this, can we do this?!” So Jordan, our DoP, was just looking at me, then Topher was looking at me, then Burns was staring at me going, “Just direct it already! You’re already directing it!” I was, “Okay, but I don’t know how to do lenses and stuff,” and the guys were, “We can do that! Just tell us what you want!”

Tristan Risk

Photo courtesy of Tom Gould Photography, make-up by Make Up Jems

 

Reading back through our previous chats, a certain quote stands out amongst the rest. You said that you don’t think you’re a particularly good actress, just an accomplished liar to the camera. Do you still think that’s the case or do you now have more confidence in yourself as an actress?

I still feel that I wake up on a lot of days and feel like a fraud. I’m constantly worried I’m going to get called out. And every time I do a live performance, I have that self-doubt of, “Am I doing something that’s entertaining? Am I engaging? Am I accomplishing what I want as a performer?” And I feel like that on film, too. But film is easier just because between what I’m doing, and the director, and the editor, and whoever’s doing the sound, it comes together and they’ll make it work on film – which is why I feel like more of a fraud there. If I’m doing something live and it sucks, there’s no way I can fucking hide it. Sometimes I don’t always feel like I’m accomplished in any way. Sometimes I feel really good about what I do, then other days it’s more of a struggle to see the good in my work. But that just means it’s more of a drive for me to want to do better constantly. It’s like that old thing, “Again, only better!”

Before we wrap things up, what’s the details for your upcoming Patreon page?

It launches in March. I’m actually going to be shooting my pitch video in the next week or two so people know what they’re buying. Then I’ll be just trying to put it together so that at least if you’re taking the trouble to go to the Patreon, it’s going to be very clear what you’re getting. It’s good quality, it’s confident, it’s my commercial basically. I want it to be well done and make people feel excited about donating, not just, “Well, I’m throwing money down a nasty black hole here.”

Aliens Ate My Homework is released on digital download and home release on March 6th. To keep up to date with Tristan’s work and her Patreon page, be sure to follow her on Twitter and Instagram.

Aliens Ate My Homework

[ENDED] Win a Dual Format Copy of THE HOUSEMAID

The Housemaid

One of the most chilling films of recent years is Derek Nguyen’s The Housemaid, and now Eureka Entertainment have released a Dual Format edition of the gothic horror as part of their new Montage Pictures range. Even better, we’ve got three copies of that new release to give away to some lucky readers.

To be in with a chance of winning this terror ride, simply answer the below question:

The Housemaid was originally released in 2016, but which of these horrors was similarly released in that same year?

a) Night of the Living Dead

b) The Conjuring 2

c) Halloween

Email your answer, along with your address details, to [email protected] labelled The Housemaid before midnight on Sunday, March 4th.

To give you an idea of what to expect from this eerie new release, here’s the trailer:

 

The official word on this new Dual Format release of The Housemaid reads:

First-time director Derek Nguyen makes a captivating debut with The Housemaid [Cô Haû Gaí], a haunting gothic romance which blends bold eroticism with a pervasive sense of dread.

Linh is a docile and hardworking poor orphaned girl who comes to Sa Cat seeking a housemaid job. Sebastien Laurent is a French captain and owner of the Sa Cat rubber plantation. For years, the massive mansion is rumoured to have ghosts, particularly those of Camille – Sebastien’s late wife—and the mistreated plantation workers. Once Linh comes to Sa Cat, she begins to hear strange sounds, have frightening dreams, and witness bizarre occurrences. After some time, Linh and Captain Laurent become close to each other and develop a romance. However, their love soon awakens the vengeful souls of Sa Cat plantation.

With its sumptuous visuals and memorable scares, The Housemaid is a bold update of the gothic-horror genre, and Eureka Entertainment is proud to present the film in its UK debut as part of Montage Pictures.

THE HOUSEMAID, a refreshing update of the gothic-horror genre, will be released in a Dual Format (Blu-ray & DVD) edition on 19 February 2018, and is available to order here.

Terms & Conditions:


Eureka Entertainment  and STARBURST do not accept any responsibility for late or lost entries due to the Internet or email problems. Proof of sending is not proof of receipt. Entrants must supply full details as required on the competition page, and comply with all rules to be eligible for the prizes. No responsibility is accepted for ineligible entries or entries made fraudulently. Unless otherwise stated, the Competition is not open to employees of: (a) the Company; and (b) any third party appointed by the Company to organise and/or manage the Competition; and (c) the Competition sponsor(s). This competition is a game promoted STARBURST. STARBURST’s decision is final in every situation and no correspondence will be entered into. STARBURST reserves the right to cancel the competition at any stage, if deemed necessary in its opinion, and if circumstances arise outside of its control. Entrants must be UK residents and 18 or over. Entrants will be deemed to have accepted these rules and to agree to be bound by them when entering this competition. The winners will be drawn at random from all the correct entries, and only they will be contacted personally. Prize must be taken as stated and cannot be deferred. There will be no cash alternatives. STARBURST routinely adds the email addresses of competition entrants to the regular newsletter, in order to keep entrants informed of upcoming competition opportunities. Details of how to unsubscribe are contained within each newsletter. All information held by STARBURST will not be disclosed to any third parties. 

[ENDED] Win THOR: RAGNAROK on Blu-ray

Thor Ragnarok

Marvel Studios’ Thor: Ragnarok, the God of Thunder’s third installment in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, electrified both audiences and critics alike reaching over $800M at the global box office. Now the colorful cosmic adventure, loaded with action, humor, drama and spectacle, bursts into homes on Digital Download on Feb. 19 and on 4K Ultra HD™, Blu-ray™, DVD and On-Demand on Feb. 26. To celebrate, we’ll be giving away three copies of the film on Blu-ray.

In Marvel Studios’ Thor: Ragnarok, Thor (Chris Hemsworth) is imprisoned on the other side of the universe without his mighty hammer and finds himself in a race against time to get back to Asgard to stop Ragnarok – the destruction of his home world and the end of Asgardian civilization – at the hands of an all-powerful new threat, the ruthless Hela (Cate Blanchett). But first he must survive a deadly gladiatorial contest that pits him against his former ally and fellow Avenger – the Incredible Hulk (Mark Ruffalo) – and grapple with his silver-tongued adopted brother Loki (Tom Hiddleston), the fierce warrior Valkyrie (Tessa Thompson) and the eccentric Grandmaster (Jeff Goldblum).

Fans who bring home the Ultimate Cinematic Universe Edition (4K Ultra HD + Blu-ray) of Thor: Ragnarok will experience all the thunderous action and lightning-fast wit in stunning 4K Ultra HD with next-generation high dynamic range (HDR) visuals and Dolby Atmos immersive audio. Exclusive, never-before-seen bonus features include deleted scenes; hilarious outtakes; an exclusive short: part three of the mockumentary “Team Thor,” retitled “Team Darryl” and featuring an eccentric new roommate; the evolution of MCU’s heroes culminating in “Avengers: Infinity War;” numerous making-of featurettes which explore the unique vision of director Taika Waititi; the story’s unstoppable women; the effortlessly charismatic Korg; the tyrannical leader of Sakaar, the Grandmaster; and the film’s comic-book origins;  audio commentary by Waititi; and more. Fans who download and keep from iTunes in HD will also explore the evolution of Thor and Hulks Bromance, from their first Helicarrier fight to their newly forged bond in Thor: Ragnarok; as well as some additional deleted scenes.

To be in with the chance of winning, just answer this question:

What is the name of the city that Thor is from?

  1. Austria
  2. Asgard
  3. Australia

Email your answer, along with your address details, to [email protected] labelled Thor: Ragnarok before midnight on Sunday, March 4th.

Thor Ragnarok

THOR: RAGNAROK will be available on Digital Download from 19 FEBRUARY 2018, and on 4K Ultra HD™, Blu-ray™, DVD and On-Demand from 26 FEBRUARY 2018

Bad Moon Rising – Horror Channel’s Werewolf Season

werewolf

Cinematic horror underwent another leap forward in the 1970s and ‘80s. It wasn’t the first time that whatever made horror films great had altered, reflecting the moods, anxieties and changes taking place in the society around us. The birth of scary cinema in black and white horror eventually gave way to the vivid and much gorier full-colour horror of studios like Hammer. In the ‘70s, the changes included more realistic bloodletting, increased sex and violence, and in films like The Exorcist, an attempt to ground the terror in a more recognisable, real-feeling world. Vampires and werewolves had been horror movie standards since the beginning, but they too changed. From Lugosi’s Dracula to Christopher Lee’s more animalistic, brutal Count and from Lon Chaney Jr.’s cursed Larry Talbot to Oliver Reed’s similarly stricken Leon in Hammer’s The Curse of the Werewolf.

Still, these films were essentially riffs on the same classic texts and inspirations. As special effects became more elaborate and convincing, and films became even more explicit, these two horror tropes underwent their biggest change. Inspired by more recent literature and events in the world, vampires became less straight-ahead evil and more ambiguous, the link between sex, death and desire explored more. Films like George A. Romero’s Martin and Tony Scott’s The Hunger presented a more sophisticated and nuanced approach. Though never as beguiling as screen vampires, and usually much more tragic, werewolves too followed this development. The two main films that bridged the banks between the classic style and the modern are inarguably An American Werewolf in London and The Howling. The Howling is often rated as the lesser movie when compared to Landis’ masterpiece. However, taken on its own terms, Joe Dante’s film is actually just as valid an example one can refer to when considering how werewolf films updated to become a truly modern horror.

The Howling follows investigative local LA news reporter Karen (an excellent performance by Dee Wallace). Karen is being stalked by the mysterious serial murderer Eddie and in hopes of catching him, Karen puts herself forward as bait. The set-up goes badly wrong and in trying to recover, Karen goes to therapist Patrick Macnee’s ‘colony’ retreat. The colony is full of oddballs and a series of unsettling events suggest it could be at the centre of everything that has been happening to Karen and the stage is set for a grisly fight for survival. Dante’s film ponders notions of the nature of humans, the beast within and hidden desires. It does all this whilst giving you all the werewolf action you could want in a film, a number of great performances, and lots of love for the films that inspired Dante to become a director. Dante knows his genre well having grown up immersed in horror (indeed having written on the subject himself as a fan) and references it throughout. The Howling is lovingly stuffed with in-jokes from character names to cameos by those linked with the genre. But from the porn-culture settings and Dante’s confidence in letting Rob Bottin’s graphic, visceral transformations take centre stage instead of hiding in the shadows, it’s very much a film of its (then modern) time. A satirical, self-knowing script worked on by John Sayles helps it be horror, media satire and even subtle comedy. The Howling still holds up very well today, and a legacy of disappointing (or just totally bonkers, if you count The Howling 2) sequels have done nothing to diminish Dante’s achievement.

Both Landis and Dante made films that rewrote and changed forever the way werewolves are presented. Previously, a guy in wolf-man make-up had been the way in which the creatures had made it to the screen. Chaney’s Talbot might not be a normal man anymore, but he’s still recognisably human. Thanks to the advances in effects work, the werewolves in The Howling are much more animal, and whilst retaining a human intelligence, no one would mistake them for a man or a woman. A directly descended approach to werewolf movies can be found in the other three films we cover here. Let’s start with one film that has a transformation sequence that is infamous in its own way. After all, are there many films that show the hero’s penis getting significantly, violently hairier?

wolfcop

Writer-director Lowell Dean’s horror-comedy Wolfcop made waves in genre circles for a couple of main reasons back in 2014. Firstly, the attention-grabbing retro poster for the film. Next was the movie’s proclaimed reliance on practical effects for the transformations. It tells the tale of cop Lou Garou (arf… or more accurately groan – loup-garou is French for werewolf), an alcoholic policeman working in the small rural town of Woodhaven. When Lou is sent to respond to reports of a satanic ritual taking place on the outskirts of the town, he interrupts a ceremony of sacrifice and is knocked out. Coming to, Lou finds a pentagram carved on his stomach and no memory of how he got home.  Soon after this, Garou’s senses become painfully sharp and an encounter in a bar with some locals ends badly for them and bloodily for the newly lycanthropic Lou. From this point on, Wolfcop takes in shapeshifters, conspiracies and a number of gory set-pieces. It does this with tongue wedged ruthlessly into cheek, becoming increasingly absurd as it goes on. All of which can be exemplified by a ludicrous, soft-focus love scene between the changed Lou and a barmaid. Wolfcop is not meant to be taken remotely seriously. As such, it doesn’t really matter that the film is not really very good.  Being good or bad or notions of quality are something Dean’s film is completely indifferent to. It instead simply wants to tell a very silly story with no pretences at high art, but rather make its audience laugh, roll their eyes, enjoy the effects work, and at the end be none the wiser for the experience. It is willfully dumb fun and all the more enjoyable for it. And if you like it, a sequel (Another Wolfcop) has recently been released, too.

howl

Next is a much more serious 2015 British film from director Paul Hyett, Howl, that seeks to combine the ‘Die Hard on a…’ approach of innumerable movies with the werewolf horror. Ed Speleers is Joe, a train guard who starts the film with his hopes of promotion dashed. Added to that he’s forced into pulling a double-shift on the last train of the evening from Waterloo. Forced, but also convinced by the presence of refreshment trolley girl Ellen, his crush. Joe’s night gets worse still when he strikes out with Ellen and a thoroughly miserable rest of the shift looms, which won’t be enlivened by the gaggle of passengers the train is carrying. There’s also a storm brewing across the country. An hour or so out of London the train enters a mobile dead-spot. It’s here where the train runs over a deer and grinds to a halt. Driver Sean Pertwee (a nod here to his role in Brit werewolf classic Dog Soldiers and Hyett’s previous work on effects for that film’s director Neil Marshall on a number of projects) gets off to check the situation out and promptly disappears, killed off by something lurking in the woods. A reluctant Joe has to take charge of the situation as best he can and keep the passengers safe until help can arrive. But with at least one werewolf stalking the train, keeping safe is out of the question – instead, it’s about keeping breathing.

Aside from the fact British viewers will immediately ruffle at the necessary artifice of a train nobody would travel on in this country, there’s plenty to recommend in Howl. The usual small group of diverse passengers (or more accurately potential werewolf chow) is assembled and in amongst them, you have some fine actors. You have the likes of Duncan Preston (who those of a certain age will know as Kevin’s dad from Harry Enfield fame) and Elliot Cowan, along with a solid and relatable cast. The single central location and focus on telling a straightforward, simple and effective story is commendable. Hyett is not trying to reinvent horror films here. Howl is a low-budget horror flick with nothing above B-movie aspirations and it’s all the better for it, clipping along to its conclusion in less than 90 minutes. That doesn’t mean it’s unambitious either, with the script toying around with notions of masculinity and how men and women interact. The werewolves are mostly practical FX work here too which adds an old-school charm to the film. As a made-for-pennies British horror, it’s happily an easy film to like and support.

Our final werewolf film to consider is Adrián García Bogliano’s Late Phases from 2014. It’s very much different to both Wolfcop and Howl. As much a drama about central character Ambrose’s twilight years and difficult relationship with his despairing son Will as a horror film, it tries to do something different and generally succeeds. Ambrose is played by Nick Damici with a steely, implacable stillness.  He’s a veteran and also blind and the film begins with Will moving him to a retirement community next to some woods. Ambrose is fiercely independent and describes the gated estate as somewhere people ‘go to die’. He is more right about that than he could expect. Along with his seeing-eye dog, Ambrose doesn’t exactly endear himself to the majority of his religious neighbours.  He does get on well with immediate next-door neighbour Delores but on the first night there this new friendship is brutally ended early by a werewolf attack that leaves Delores dead and Ambrose and his dog injured. Ambrose is told by police that there are frequent animal attacks due to the community’s proximity to the woods and it’s written off as just such a thing. But Ambrose already suspects a werewolf was responsible and when his dog dies, he resolves to be ready when the next full moon happens. Before then, Ambrose tries to do a little detective work in trying to figure out who the werewolf might be. Suspects include the local pastor Father Smith and pretty much anyone else Ambrose comes into contact with.

late phases

Late Phases operates fully as a drama that follows Ambrose’s slow realisation the walls he built around himself between him and his wife, son and anyone else who might care for him, have not worked. It’s a contemplative film that muses on mortality, family and how the things we believe define us are sometimes the things that destroy us. Bogliano’s film also operates fully as a horror film, and much like The Howling, puts its werewolves front and centre. There’s a reliance here too on practical effects and gory set-pieces. The cumulative result adeptly manages to have one foot in each genre without being jarring. There’s a lot of talent in front of and behind the camera that helps make this happen. Damici gives an excellent central performance and he’s ably supported by Ethan Embry as his fragile son. You also have familiar faces from film and television like Lance Guest and cult genre heroes in Larry Fessenden and the always-great Tom Noonan. Robert Kurtzman was brought in to do the special effects and his huge catalogue of experience really helps here. It’s a fine film and well worth catching. It also brings our set of four full circle. Late Phases is most like The Howling (though without the satirical edge), in so far as it’s a film that wants to use its story to ruminate on the human condition and how we’re often in a struggle with the animal within. Having said that, it also loves genre conventions and traditions and seeks to satisfy as a cathartic nightmare.  And that’s probably what makes werewolf films so compelling. They figuratively and literally unleash the animal within us all and ultimately allow us to conquer it to some degree. In giving us that release, that confrontation with the monster inside, that base survival thrill, they are some of the purest horror experiences we can have.

These four films also demonstrate how the werewolf horror film has developed and changed.  Wolfcop, Howl and Late Phases’ lycanthropic DNA can be traced directly back to Dante’s classic.  What he achieved in The Howling, and what Landis achieved in American Werewolf, were part of forever changing the direction of horror movies in general, and werewolf movies specifically.  Together they offer us a window into how these films have been inspired by and honoured their genre’s past while building a new template for horror to follow.

You can catch all four films while howling at the moon in February on Horror Channel. Sky 319, Virgin TV 149, Freeview 70, and Freesat 138.

[ENDED] Win HOUSE on Blu-ray

House

With Eureka Entertainment having now released the stunning House on Blu-ray as part of their Masters of Cinema range, we’ve got three copies of this release to give away to some lucky readers.

A supernatural teen melodrama, House put director Nobuhiko Obayashi on the map in a major way and the 1977 picture has gone on to become a huge favourite of many a genre fan.

To be in with a chance of winning one of these Blu-ray prizes, simply answer the below question:

House was released in 1977, but which of these other movies was also famously released in that year?

  1. a) Psycho
  2. b) Star Wars
  3. c) The Hobbit

Email your answer, along with your address details, to [email protected] labelled House before midnight on Sunday, February 25th.

To give you an idea of what to expect from House, check out the trailer in the below player:

The official word on this new Blu-ray release reads:

Eureka Entertainment to release HOUSE, a self-aware, post-modern Japanese fairy tale from one of cinema’s great surrealists, as part of the Masters of Cinema range on Blu-ray on 12 February 2018.

An unforgettable mixture of bubblegum teen melodrama and grisly phantasmagoria, Nobuhiko Obayashi’s deranged fairy tale House is one of Japanese cinema’s wildest supernatural ventures and a truly startling debut feature.

Upset by her widowed father’s plans to remarry, Angel sets off with six of her schoolgirl friends in tow for a summer getaway at her aunt’s isolated mansion. In this house of dormant secrets, long-held emotional traumas have terrifyingly physical embodiments and the girls must use their individual talents if any are to survive.

A rollercoaster ride without brakes, House is by turns hilarious, sinister, and unexpectedly lyrical, with ceaseless cinematic invention and a satirical, full-blooded approach to the horror genre. A gigantic smash on its original release in Japan, The Masters of Cinema Series is proud to present the film on Blu-ray for the first time in the UK.

House

HOUSE, a self-aware, post-modern Japanese fairy tale from one of cinema’s great surrealists, is released on Blu-ray as part of The Masters of Cinema Series on 12 February 2018 and available to order here.

[ENDED] Win a Signed SAW: THE COMPLETE COLLECTION Boxset

Jigsaw

With Jigsaw – the latest offering in the much-loved Saw franchise – soon to be available on home release, we’ve got a fantastic prize to give away to one lucky winner.

Not only do we have a copy of the Saw: The Complete Collection boxset to give away on your choice of DVD or Blu-ray, but the boxset is signed by none other than the ‘Jigsaw Killer’ himself, Tobin Bell. In addition to that, the winner will also receive a limited edition Jigsaw t-shirt.

To be in with a chance of winning this brilliant prize, simply answer the below question:

Jigsaw star Laura Vandervoort famously appeared in The CW’s Smallville, but which DC superhero did she play in that genre favourite offering?

a) Batgirl

b) Supergirl

c) Wonder Woman

Email your answer, along with your address details, to [email protected] labelled Jigsaw before midnight on Sunday, February 25th.

To give you an idea of what to expect from the terror-ride that is Jigsaw, check out the trailer in the below player:

The official synopsis for this latest installment in the fan favourite Saw series reads:

One of the highest grossing horror franchises of all time is back, taking Jigsaw’s signature brand of twisted scenarios to the next level. After a series of murders bearing all the markings of the Jigsaw killer, law enforcement find themselves chasing the ghost of a man dead for over a decade and embroiled in a new game that’s only just begun. Is John Kramer back from the dead to remind the world to be grateful for the gift of life? Or is this a trap set by a killer with designs of their own? Modernised for new fans, Jigsaw is also highly satisfying for fans of the series.

Lionsgate UK presents Jigsaw on Digital Download 19th February and DVD, Blu-ray, 4k, Steelbook & Box-set 26th February.

[ENDED] Win THE RITUAL Merchandise Bundle and DVD

The Ritual

One of the most hotly talked about genre movies right now is British horror effort The Ritual, and we’ve got some fantastic prizes to give away to mark the film’s release.

Up for grabs, two lucky winners will win themselves a merchandise bundle and a DVD copy of the movie. A tense, atmospheric picture that sees four friends stranded in the Swedish wilderness, trust us when we say The Ritual is most definitely worth checking out at your nearest convenience.

To be in with a chance of winning one of these prizes, all you had to do is answer the below question:

One of the stars of The Ritual is Rafe Spall, but which famous British actor is Rafe’s father?

a) Anthony Head

b) Hugh Laurie

c) Timothy Spall

Email your answer, along with your address details, to [email protected] labelled The Ritual before midnight on Sunday, February 25th.

To give you an idea of what to expect from this chilling new horror, be sure to check out this terrifying clip:

The official word on The Ritual reads:

Reuniting after the tragic death of their friend, four college pals set out to hike through the Scandinavian wilderness. A wrong turn leads them into the mysterious forests of Norse legend, where an ancient evil exists and stalks them at every turn.

The Ritual is available on Digital and DVD now.