Review Category: Movie

What a title! And thankfully, the film delivers; if it were called “This Movie Will Give You $1,000,000” I would be writing this review from a yacht. Greenhorn director Mike Cheslik introduces us to an alcoholic cider manufacturer in pioneer-time America who must learn to survive in the wilderness by fighting off rabbits, raccoons, and, of course, beavers, as played by cast members in Disneyland-style costumes. Although on the surface, it may seem like a parodic B-movie oddity, it is, instead, a cannot be ignored rip-roaring comedy that will stand the test of time for its classic elements alongside its timeliness. The trick Cheslik and his team have pulled off is to create a fresh feeling, original film with the familiarity of an old sweater.

Rather than creating new aesthetics whole cloth, the filmmakers lifted a combination of ideas from other art in an original way. This is ‘Influenced Cinema’. Cheslik joins the ranks of Quentin Tarantino and Edgar Wright in constructing works so strongly indebted to their creators’ influences that they are inextricable until a generation decides only to remember the influenced work. Audiences are hailing Hundreds of Beavers as the return of early cinema, and indeed, the almost completely dialogue-free black and white movie brings to mind Chaplin’s slapstick or, in talkies, W.C. Field’s absurd games. But Cheslik has layered upon it so much more. The Looney Tunes logic, a Silver Age Disney animated musical number, charming Muppets-like expression, and most prominently, a Legend of Zelda video game shop system, inventory tracker, overworld map, and use of sound effects are all in service of a wholly original story.

While certainly frenetic, the collage feels so natural in execution. Watching our fur trapper friend set traps like comedic setups with ten-minute later punchline payoffs is genuinely engrossing. The experience of seeing the film isn’t a nostalgic one we hold at a distance but a raw, immersive laughter powerhouse that could only come to us now. This child of the ’00s and ’10s American Midwest Internet video sketch scene doesn’t adopt its parent’s propensity for parody. The “going out in the woods to film a thing with friends” could easily turn into something derivative. Instead, these filmmakers set out to make something fun and original from the media that made them. In a world where Hollywood comedy movies are relegated to the Apatow-style of improvisational awkwardness, it’s incredibly refreshing to explore other avenues of movie comedy that are not reliant on references to pop culture even as they adopt their look.

If you seek to be surprised with genuine movie magic, the kind of delights where a younger version of yourself would wonder how a certain effect, stunt, or gag has been achieved or how a script seems to know exactly how your mind works, then there’s no better recommendation this year. Through a combination of costuming, animation, green screen environments, and a sprinkle of puppetry, the world of Hundreds of Beavers feels as tangible as Hyrule, as brimming with laughter as the Muppet theatre, and as full of imagination as the woods behind your own suburban house.

HUNDREDS OF BEAVERS is on general release in the US. 

Alex Garland (writer of 28 Days Later, Sunshine, and Dredd and writer/director of Ex Machina, Annihilation, and the unsettling Men) has lately been threatening that Civil War will be his last film in the director’s chair. If true, it’s a breathtaking final sucker-punch of a film, a movie torn from tomorrow’s potential headlines as it depicts, with a ruthless nihilism, the disintegration of American society and its collapse into chaos and anarchy.

Civil War follows the travels of four determined photojournalists across a battle-torn America, desperate to make their way to Washington DC and an audience with the President (a cameo from Nick Offerman) before the rebel factions (including the combined might of Texas and California) launch their final advance on July 4th. They’re a tightly-knit, well-drawn bunch, from Kirsten Dunst’s weary veteran photographer Lee, Wagner Maura as Joel, Lee’s old colleague, Stephen McKinley Henderson as Joel’s older mentor Sammy, and Cailee Spaenay as Jessie, a 22-year-old young photographer keen to make a name for herself as a warzone photojournalist. But there’s danger everywhere, from snipers lurking on the rooftops of small towns trying to avoid the conflict to a bunch of terrifying nationalist-militia soldiers led by an uncredited Jesse Plemons. It’s here that an already dark film turns into something much darker and where our characters realise not just what’s at stake but also how close they are to violent death every second of every day. Rendezvousing with a military convoy at Charlottesville, they join the great push on to the capital and finally the White House itself…

Civil War is not for the faint of heart and not for those of a depressive nature. It’s tough, callous, and unforgiving, brilliantly realised but utterly without light or shade., It offers little of a redemptive nature for its characters, the situation they find themselves in or, indeed, the world. Garland keeps his story’s geopolitical machinations purposefully vague – America is at war with itself, and that’s all we need to know. It’s a brutal, bruising, emotionally exhausting film that you’re not likely to consider revisiting again and again.  It is, though, a shocking and powerful piece of work that needs to be seen – to be endured – as a potent reminder of the savage ruthlessness of war and the unnerving fragility of a state of social order that we tend to take for granted.

Based on the graphic novel of the same name, Robot Dreams is set in a world of anthropomorphised animals who have apparently mastered robotics. Robots are a common everyday appliance for them and, despite everything just said, it’s also apparently set in 1980s New York. 

Dog, our protagonist (who is also a dog), is cripplingly lonely. That all changes when he buys a robot companion. Robot and Dog immediately become best friends – possibly more (the film is extremely ambiguous about whether their dynamic is platonic or runs deeper). 

It’s always a joy when we’re given the rare gift of a hand-drawn animated feature in cinemas, and Robot Dreams doesn’t disappoint. While visually simplistic, it’s a bright, bold and colourful affair that showcases some great character designs. The animation is tasked with doing a lot of heavy lifting given that, except for the odd stray word mumbled in the background and the repeated leitmotif of Earth, Wind & Fire’s September, the film is completely non-dialogue. 

Eventually, Robot and Dog are separated due to circumstances beyond their control, and the rest of the film largely concerns their attempts to reconnect. Physically unable to move for much of this time, Robot indulges in dreams, repeatedly imagining various means of going home to Dog. While it’s important to see them longing to be reunited, the sequences largely feel like arbitrary filler (at 1 hour and 42 minutes, Robot Dreams is on the longer side for animation and definitely didn’t need padding to bring it up to feature length).

But once the film focuses on its narrative and stops spending so much time on these titular robot dreams, it really kicks into gear. The story builds to a truly poignant ending, far more subtle, mature and emotionally powerful than you’d likely expect from an animated family film about a dog hanging out with a robot. Robot Dreams concludes as something painfully bittersweet and universally relatable. On some level, it should resonate with everyone who sees it.

ROBOT DREAMS is in cinemas now.

Five swimsuit models, three intruders, one house, and a duffel bag full of zip ties and duct tape. These components
make Model House – a taut home invasion movie whose primary strength is in its simplicity.

Trudy (Hailee Keanna Lautenbach), Sydney (Natalie Nootenboom), Nadia (Kyra Santoro), Zoe (Cory Anne Roberts)
and Carla (Priscilla Huggins Ortiz) hole up in a remote house while on a shoot. Between rounds of sniping and hot
tub-dipping, the ladies are interrupted when a gang of masked intruders come knocking on the door. The plan? To
extort money from the ladies’ followers on social media. This simple plan inevitably goes awry with the arrival of a
creepy neighbour and, later, temperamental gang member Flip (Phillip Andre Botello).

It’s a simple premise, slickly executed by writer and director Derek Pike – largely eschewing the male-gazey
cheesecake it could have been in favour of something altogether darker and grittier. The budget feels low, but the
house is well-shot by cinematographer David Keninger, and the performances are solid across the board, including
at least one genre mainstay in Scout Taylor-Compton (Halloween ’07 and its sequel). Its leading five are a varied
bunch, given distinct personalities and purpose in the writing and spirited performances.

True, those familiar with the subgenre will find few real surprises here – even as tempers fray and blood is shed, it
follows a fairly predictable trajectory – but it makes effective use of the home invasion template. A crime thriller staple
done slickly, efficiently, and with sufficient poise.

MODEL HOUSE is out on digital and in select US cinemas on April 5th

Ghostly rovers return through a malicious entity living in the basement of an old English pub. Returning to these
grounds after the death of her estranged father (Peter Mullan), Iris (Freya Allan) learns about its spooky tenant when a man bursts in begging to be allowed access to the entity and the spirits it’s capable of conjuring.

Adapting his own short film, director Alberto Corredor turns up the atmospherics in this tale of a communion with the dead gone wrong. Like many a short film gone long (including co-screenwriter Bryce McGuire’s Night Swim), Baghead feels stretched too thin, but it does at least have a good and grizzly Peter Mullan performance at its core.

Like the burlap sack-wearing beast in the basement, the rest of it is chained to one location, making its world feel small and isolated, with very little life outside of the immediate frame. It suffers in its similarity and vicinity to the recent Talk To Me while lacking that film’s scares or nastiness. It doesn’t help, either, that Baghead herself is visually rather uninspiring and only creepy when it’s channelling the face and grumbles of Peter Mullan… with all credit going to Peter Mullan in this case.

The slight story is elevated by a number of late-in-the-game twists and the chilling cinematography by Cale Finot, which makes use of the gloomy Brit boozer setting. A mixed bag.

BAGHEAD is out on Blu-Ray, DVD and digital on April 8th.

The MonsterVerse returns to the big screen in Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire and in the process proves it is perhaps cinema’s greatest current shared universe.

Following up Godzilla vs. Kong, director Adam Wingard’s film sees Kong at home in the Hollow Earth, still yearning the company of his own kind, while Godzilla is on the surface maintaining balance among the Titans. However, technical disruptions from an uncharted area of the Hollow Earth seem to spell danger. As something is calling out, and a great ancient threat is getting ready to emerge, and this force may be too much to handle for even Kong or Godzilla…at least alone.

There is no doubt about it, after last year’s Godzilla: Minus One, and the continuing progression of the MonsterVerse, there has perhaps been no better time to be a fan of these legendary titans of cinema. And where the former nailed the thematic grounded storytelling this franchise originated from, Godzilla x Kong likewise nails the lore-filled spectacle and excitement audiences have come to expect. 

The beauty of the MonsterVerse has been how it has allowed each filmmaker the free reign to make their own movies, and how they all stand together proudly different, distinct and yet reflective of the changing ages of the iconic monsters on which they are based.

To that point, Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire is an absolute treat for anyone who has ever grown up with these monsters or their stories, particularly the fans of Toho’s Showa era. It is a cinematorium-rattling monster battle royal of the highest order, with Dawn of the Planet of the Apes soul meets WWE-style brawling (heck, we even get a suplex). And the kind of mainstream western Godzilla/Kong film that years ago you would have thought impossible to see!

Visually this film is beautiful, with otherworldly settings and imaginative cinematography, and immaculate designs of its monsters both great and small. Once again, seeing this universe conjuring up some majestic visual power, alongside a rousing score by Tom Holkenborg and Antonio Di Iorio, which subtly integrates some motifs from previous films without being defined by them.

The action is outstanding, and the roster of monsters constantly inventive, impactful and surprising (the marketing didn’t reveal everything folks), with the villain of the piece being genuinely the stuff of nightmares, while another new – slightly smaller – addition is heart-meltingly sweet. Wingard knows the brief here and delivers an occasionally crazy story that allows these monsters to take centre stage, with large parts of the story relying on their own very fleshed out characters and some visually-driven moments of dialogue-free narrative, which truly shows off the film’s effects and the life beneath them.

That said, the human element is rather good too here, with Dan Stevens’ new addition of Ace Ventura-esque vet Trapper being the undeniable charismatic standout! Alongside returning faces like Brian Tyree Henry’s Bernie, Rebecca Hall’s Monarch leader Dr. Ilene Andrews and Kaylee Hottle’s Jia. 

Despite all the action, set pieces and devastation though, the most impressive thing about this film is the heart that beats beneath it. There are some poignant notes along the way here, about culture, nature and the inherent beauty of the world and its importance, as well as a particularly strong story for the character of Kong about finding a home and a tribe, and liberating a kingdom. This is a film of many surprises, which has the insane action and explosiveness but makes time for the quiet moments too, as well as some enjoyable homages to not only other kanji fare but a few surprising other movies too, such as a Jason X!

No doubt, some will come in ready to pick apart logic, reality or feasibility but this wildness of the script and story all only adds to the experience and takes you back in time to a whole previous era of kaiju stories and filmmaking. Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire is an exhilarating, bone-crunching and heartfelt cinematic spectacle. That takes you on one hell of a ride, with laughs, emotions and fist-raising feel good joys. Sit back, relax, and enjoy this battle for Hollow Earth, preferably with a massive crowd cheering on every mech-coated punch and roaring at every atomic blast.

Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire is possibly the most fun you will have in a cinema this year. Long Live The MonsterVerse!

Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire is in cinemas from Friday 29th March

Blumhouse returns to familiar stomping grounds with Imaginary, a story about a malevolent entity who latches onto a small child (in this case, Pyper Braun), determined to snatch them away to their secret realm – The Further. Sorry, no, The Never Ever, it’s called this time.

It’s a formula that has worked well for the studio, scoring them five Insidious films, plus a less well-received one about a haunted swimming pool in Night Swim. And now it’s the turn of the imaginary friend to get scary.

Save your Bing Bong jokes – Imaginary is well ahead of you, and makes plenty of them itself. But Chauncey Bear is no cuddly pink elephant; an unsettling stuffed toy with a lopsided face and spooky button eyes. Sinister shape-shifter Chauncey is a great design and, in the right hands, we could have been looking at the next Pennywise or Freddy Krueger.

Sadly, these are the hands of Truth or Dare and Fantasy Island director Jeff Wadlow and Chauncey doesn’t get much chance to cut loose. Save for a scene between CB, Alice (Braun) and a therapist (Veronica Falcón) he’s fairly hopeless and less intimidating than one would hope. While the final act plays with Chauncey’s form a little (including some genuinely good practical effects), this supernatural horror story is disappointingly crayon-by-numbers – snatching wholesale from Poltergeist, Insidious and Coraline.

Visually and structurally, it’s unimpressive, too, and features reams of dialogue which shouldn’t have made it past the first draft. Star DeWanda Wise gamely gives it her all but is ill-served by the writing and clumsy character work; meanwhile, Braun and screen sister Taegan Burns give spirited performances but wind up on the wrong side of grating. Likewise, a one-note Betty Buckley and The Walking Dead star Tom Payne, whose stupid hat garnered the only reaction (a derisive laugh) from this theatre audience.

Imaginary is a disappointingly lackluster waste of talent and potential; a film about the power of imagination which has very little of its own.

IMAGINARY is out now in UK cinemas.

On March 2nd, 2024, actor Sydney Sweeney hosted the popular American variety show Saturday Night Live. In the process, the Euphoria and Anyone but You star unwittingly unleashed countless triumphalist tweets [X’s?] and think-pieces from those who couldn’t really pin down what ‘woke’ is in the first place. All claimed that Sydney Sweeney had ‘killed woke’ by, uh, having breasts and not hiding them.

Fast-forward twenty days to the release of Sydney Sweeney’s openly pro-abortion, anti-Church, anti-men horror film Immaculate – a film which features, in addition to a shocking vein of gore and violence, the most inappropriate use of a crucifix since The Exorcist. Who’s the ‘death of woke now,’ eh?

Sweeney stars as young nun Cecilia, whose devotion to her faith is sorely tested when she takes on a position in a convent in rural Italy. Cecilia has barely had a chance to learn the ropes (wiping old nuns’ arses and hanging laundry, mostly) when she comes down with a curious case of morning sickness – and is quickly diagnosed to be with child. As the baby grows within her virgin belly, the rose tint quickly begins to fade, and Cecelia starts to question everything she thinks she knows.

Directed by Michael Mohan (having previously directed Sweeney in 2021’s The Voyeurs), Immaculate is a queasily atmospheric work of Italio-horror – wearing its genre influences on its sleeve along with the prayer beads and giallo-esque black leather gloves. Featuring grisly practical effects and truly discomforting moments of violence, it couldn’t be further away from the likes of Rosemary’s Baby or The Nun – if it did have kinfolk in Western horror, it’d be Ready Or Not, particularly as Cecilia grows increasingly desperate and unpredictable in planning her escape.

This envelope-pushing work of religious horror grips from the off, showcasing a subtle sense of humour as it welcomes Cecilia into its world. The dialogue between her and her fellow sisters snaps, and while Sweeney impresses in the lead (slightly redeeming herself for whatever was going on in Madame Web), Benedetta Porcaroli steals scenes as the foul-mouthed Sister Gwen.

As the trimesters stack up, so Mohan and writer Andrew Lobel double down on this unhinged path into a third act few could have conceived of. Deeply profane in places and a startling work of taboo-busting nunsploitation.

IMMACULATE is out now in UK cinemas.