by Martin Unsworth

The Tunnel is a new Australian horror movie from first time director Carlo Ledesma. It is also the first film made under “The 135k Project” which basically means that if 135,000 people bought a digital frame of the movie for $1 each, they will have covered the budget. The film was also released to DVD (in Oz, but available worldwide through the website), shown on Australian Showtime TV, and in a surprisingly trusting move, onto bit torrents for free. The theory being that if you download the film for nothing, and enjoy it you will at least go and buy a frame. Or tell a friend, and they might. Well, I’ll be honest, it worked for me.

The film tells the story, documentary style, of a reporter who wants to discover why the Sydney authorities have suddenly pulled the plug on a project to recycle the excess water in Sydney’s disused underground wells, thus helping the drought problems. She is convinced it’s because homeless people are living down there but the MPs all refuse to talk and want the story to go away.

So she takes her film crew down into the dark maze of tunnels in search of an answer, or at least proof of people living there which has been denied.

It is through talking heads, and the crew’s footage we discover the horrors within. OK, so the technique of hand held and character POV filming is nothing new, The Blair Witch Project opened that can of worms up. But this at least has a film quality to it for the most part, a great compliment to the filmmakers especially due to the budget restrictions. Where other films have left you feeling like you’ve been spun round in a washing machine for an hour and still expect you to keep watching, The Tunnel mixes the hand held infra red camcorder with the high definition TV camera well enough to avoid this. You get a lot of running feet but thankfully they avoid having snot dripping into the lens.

The underground locations lend themselves to a wonderful claustrophobic atmosphere, and bring to mind the London Undergound as used in Gary Sherman’s Death Line (1973) Who has not tried to peer into those dark tunnels and wonder what is beyond?

One thing I would say with the free download, the low bit-rate does cause some pixelation to the very dark scenes, but it is still very watchable, and if you enjoyed it, why would you not want to own the proper DVD to watch it in its proper resolution on your big flat TV screen?

Times are hard, and none more so for young directors wanting to film their vision, so I applaud Carlo for the way he is doing this. He is not asking for thousands of pounds upfront for the chance to be an extra, or have your name in the end credits like some have in the past. $1 from each person who watches the film would easily cover the cost. And should the film end up making money you are promised 1% back of that profit too. It is independent film making the way it should be. Outside the studio system, and as such should be supported as much as possible.

For more information, and to download the film go to http://www.thetunnelmovie.net/ and do not forget to go back afterwards and buy a frame. Just don’t be surprised if its just black, it is a film set in a tunnel remember?

(Idea: 10 out of 10!)

After the disappointment of the last two offerings in the X-Men franchise – X-Men Origins: Wolverine and The Last Stand – Director Vaughan raises the level back to Singer’s standards.  The Vaughan and Jane Goldman screenplay collaboration team are together again after their successful run of films, Kick-Ass and Stardust and they deliver on character and cool yet again.

A character driven X-Men film that focuses on the back stories of Erik Lehnsherr (Michael Fassbender) and Professor Charles Xavier (James McAvoy), their friendship, and how they end up on opposing sides.  Set in the 1960s against the backdrop of the civil rights movement, the JFK presidency and the Cuban missile crisis, the story cleverly interweaves the revolutionary feel and socio-political issues of the time into the dawning of the X-Men’s existence.

With an opening sequence that delves into the contrasting childhoods of Lehnsherr and Xavier and introduces the villainous Sebastian Shaw (Kevin Bacon) in a brutal sequence that leads on from the original X-Men movie where Lehnsherr is torn away from his parents at a concentration camp, the dark nature of the violence sets it apart from the rest of the X-Men franchise.  With no Wolverine in this one, cool fight sequences are kept to a minimum, with spectacle and special effects taking over.

Fassbender brings pure class and conviction to the table in his portrayal of Erik Lehnsherr, who in essence is a man (albeit with superpowers) dead set on revenge. His intensity and sheer screen presence twinned with the story behind his anger is compelling viewing.  The level of graphic violence that Vaughan is willing to use becomes pretty obvious early on from a scene involving Lehnsherr, some barbed wire and metal manipulation, ouch!

McAvoy takes the role of Charles Xavier and makes it his own; no Patrick Stewart impressions present here, rather a portrayal of a recent Oxford Graduate who happens to be a mutant growing up in a sheltered existence. He is not the older and wiser version we are used to seeing, more a flirtatious fool whose integrity grows with each challenge he is faced with. His only friend is Raven Darkholme, better known as Mystique (Jennifer Lawrence), whose blue skin is perfectly presented with special effects and flawless makeup. Whilst on the subject of makeup, I am afraid to say Nicholas Hoult’s transformation into Beast is more cowardly lion than magnificent mutant.  Hoult’s performance was stellar from the very moment he appeared and the building friendship between Beast and Mystique is wonderful to watch, but the makeup failed to frighten in the big reveal scene.

In the same way that Forrest Gump references moments in history, Goldman and Vaughan use the Cuban missile crisis as a plot element that heavily features the character of Sebastian Shaw and his scheme to gain world domination. Bacon plays the role of this malevolent mutant who can absorb power and use it as he wishes with aplomb, never hamming it up, in this self assured and perfectly pitched performance.

With so many characters and powers to introduce the film does, at times, become a special effects showcase.  Azazel, whose power of teleportation is depicted with swooshes’ of black mist, and Riptide act as silent henchmen for Sebastian Shaw.  Some of the younger mutants are overlooked when it comes to development and back-story but with such strong performances from McAvoy and Fassbender to focus on this is easily forgivable. Featuring a couple of cameos for the fans of the previous X-Men movies, with some razor sharp comic timing their appearance lightens the mood of the film and delivers some of the biggest laughs.

Stylish settings with technology and design from the 1960s are used to great effect with an array of sharp suits and turtlenecks to boot for the men. Not faring so well are the lingerie laden women draping off men that look like they have walked straight in from the opening credits of a Bond film.  With cleavage galore from Mad Men’s January Jones in her role as Emma Frost and Rose Byrne down to her knickers within minutes of appearing on screen the nod to a bygone era may be offensive to some, but it does add to the overall feel and authenticity . Add a split screen montage sequence that uses solid black lines for separation in true 60s style, saucy banter and some self referential wit and you have a solid piece of stylish filmmaking.

Expected rating: 9 out of 10

Actual rating: 

Some franchises just don’t know when to lay down and die. The first Pirates of the Caribbean movie, starring Johnny Depp as semi-soused pirate cap’n Jack Sparrow and based on a Disney theme park ride, was a breath of fresh, salty sea air when it arrived on our screens back in 2003. Two bloated, convoluted sequels later and, despite big Box Office bucks, we’d all had just about enough of Sparrow’s increasingly irritating antics and would have been more than happy to see him walk the plank for good. But Hollywood’s never one to leave a cash cow unmilked for long so here he trundles again, in what’s threatened to be the first of a new Jack Sparrow trilogy, this time with director Rob Marshall at the tiller. Sadly  On Stranger Tides runs aground almost immediately and at the end of a long and often very dreary 135 minutes we’re left with a character who’s now little more than a caricature and a film which, by virtue of a clearly-reduced budget, is considerably less than the sum of its parts.

What’s most disappointing about On Stranger Tides is that, presented with the opportunity to wipe the slate clean and start afresh, freed from the clutter of the first three films and with Orlando Bloom and Keira Knightly out of the way, writers Ted Elliott  and  Terry Rossio  have found nothing new to bring to the Captain’s table; they’ve just replaced like with like. So instead of drippy Orlando we get drippy Sam Claflin (he’s in love with a fish) and instead of Keira we get the ghastly, barely-coherent Penelope Cruz (big hair, big mouth, big deal). The story remains pretty much the same, too. After a rattling escape from London (one of a number of admittedly well-executed if perfunctory action set pieces) Jack meets up with his ex-squeeze Angelica (Cruz) who’s been impersonating him in order to recruit a crew for her ship. Jack finds himself enlisted on a quest to find the legendary ‘Fountain of Youth’ in the company of his old sparring partner Barbossa (Geoffrey Rush) and, for added (rather obvious) menace, the grizzled Blackbeard (Ian McShane). In the course of their travels this motley crew appear to find themselves stranded in locations from Lost, indulge in the odd bit of swashbuckling and, in the film’s only really energised sequence, fight off hordes of vampiric mermaids. Elsewhere it’s pretty much business as usual with Depp mugging and flapping and wailing, and that joke’s just not very funny any more.

Not only is On Stranger Tides bereft of any new ideas it also looks a bit cash-strapped. Largely gone are the glorious Caribbean vistas and seascapes of the first trilogy, much of this takes place at night on board one ship with little or no attempt at creating a sense of cinematic scale despite the bluster and bombast and the final climactic battle scene just looks cluttered and clumsy. The film’s main problem is that it seems to think that Captain Jack alone is enough to justify our time and our pennies and On Stranger Tides offers nothing for any of its other characters. Rush’s Barbossa has been emasculated beyond belief, McShane’s Blackbeard is back-of-a-fag-packet pantomime pirate who does little but make empty threats and the rest of the attendant scurvy pirate knaves are just there to make up the numbers and bulk up the crowd scenes.

On Stranger Tides signs off as the first blockbuster disappointment of the summer (and likely not the last). I’m su

re there’s more mileage to be had from the ‘Pirates’ saga but unless there’s some new blood injected into the mix next time around, it’s going to be less ‘Yo Ho Ho’ and more ‘Yawn Yawn Yawn’. My sincere apologies…

Expected rating 6

Actual…

Oh Dear God. Someone gave  director Scott Stewart (not enough) money to make another fantasy film. They let him put British blandie Paul Bettany in it. Did no-one in Hollywood actually see last year’s pitilessly-poor Legion where Stewart cast Bettany as some sort of angel sent down to earth to ward off the apocalypse from a low-budget diner somewhere in the middle of American nowhere? Does no-one think of the audience?

But I’m being disingenuous for the sake of a few cheap shots. Priest is nothing like as bad as Legion (it’d be difficult) but it’s really not especially good and it’s certainly not particularly memorable. But at least it appears to be making an effort and Stewart clearly has a vision he wants to put on the screen, even if his budget won’t quite let him. I’m always wary of films which info-dump by way of long, tedious voiceovers but Priest gets away with it by virtue of a clever and atmospheric animated sequence depicting the ages-long struggle between man and vampires which forms the spine of the movie. It seems that the vampire scourge was ultimately wiped out by a bunch of super-powered priests (honestly) who themselves fell into disrepute when the vampires were beaten. But not everyone believes the vampires have been exterminated and when our nameless priestly hero’s niece is captured, he sets off to either rescue her or kill her if she’s been infected by the undead.

Priest quickly abandons its effective and rather-impressive walled-city environment (where humanity has retreated post-vampire) for a more budget-friendly featureless desert landscape across which the priest can race on his super-bike (the only high-tech concession on display) before pitching into battle with ugly, balletic and all-too-obviously CGI vampires.

Priest, inspired by a Korean comic book, apparently, rips off…sorry, pays homage to all sorts of better source material from Blade Runner to The Searchers and while it’s fitfully enjoyable and there are some decent high-powered action sequences (Bettany is starting to take to the ‘action hero’ role a bit better now) its brief running time (just under ninety minutes) means it never really gets into high gear. There isn’t enough time to develop any plot or decent characterisation and the final face-off between the priest and the bad guy Black Hat is over and done with before it’s even started.  At the end of the movie the priest tries to convince the city elders that the vampire threat still exist but they’re having none of it. The priest roars off on his big bike, heading towards further exciting adventures; I’m willing to bet we don’t get to see any of them on screen because this looks suspiciously like yet another still-born would-be franchise with ideas above its potential. Oh, it’s in 3D too which, of course, means things appear to be flying out of the screen or look as if they’re going to poke you in the eye. Tired of this gimmick now, thanks; if you can’t use the technology to improve the actual story-telling can we just have our normal 2D pictures back now please?

Expected rating  5

Actual…

Director Joe Cornish’s debut feature, Attack the Block, does for alien invasion movies what Shaun of the Dead did for zombie films. With Hollywood still demolishing planet Earth in big, brash blockbusters like Skyline and Battle: Los Angeles Cornish’s film is a little more intimate and a lot more enjoyable. The idea is so thunderingly simple – voracious carnivorous aliens descend upon a Sarf London tower block defended by a motley gang of hoodies and druggies – it’s hard to believe no-one’s done it before. But where Shaun of the Dead was a resolutely white, middle-class fantasy, Attack the Block is a harder sell with its predominantly young black cast, its sometimes baffling urban patois and the simple fact that the main protagonists are introduced to the audience as a bunch of nasty, knife-wielding thugs who carry out a terrifying mugging at the very start of the film. Incredibly, Cornish somehow manages to subvert our expectations and our prejudices and over the course of the film the gang become likable heroes as we begin to realise that they’re really just a bunch of deprived kids acting big and grown-up and doing a pretty decent job of saving the world (or at least their grim little bit of it).

The gang are mid-mugging when an alien drops from the sky and demolishes a car. Recently-qualified nurse Sam (Whittaker), the ertswhile mugging victim, does a runner and the gang investigate and finds a ferocious furry alien complete with fluorescent gnashers; Moses (Boyego) quickly dispatches the creature, straps its corpse to his back and parades around the estate with his kill. But before long the estate is bombarded with more and more ferocious aliens dropping out of the sky. The gang retreat to their tower block and prepare to do battle armed only with a few fireworks and their street savvy.

Attack the Block isn’t exactly a comedy – even though there are some cracking one-liners which raise a chuckle if never a belly-laugh – and it’s not exactly a horror film. There’s a bit of discrete gore here and there but the film’s more concerned with exciting its audience in a number of pulsating chase sequences with the kids biking and rushing around the corridors of the tower and walkways of the estate, with the genuinely scary aliens – a sort of a cross between an ape and a werewolf – in very hot pursuit. Cornish handles the action sequences with enormous confidence; he’s clearly steeped in this sort of stuff and he’s relishing every minute of bringing his quirky, pacey story to life. He’s helped enormously, of course, by decent production values which bely the film’s modest budget; the aliens really are something a bit different, worlds away and worlds more effective than the unreal CGI creations the Hollywood machine churns out. One particular sequence, showing the aliens swarming along the outside of the tower block as they lay seige to its baffled occupants, is stunningly-realised and oddly breath-taking.

Considering they’re the backbone of the movie’s narrative, the cast of largely-unknown and untested kids acquit themselves well and the charismatic Boyega is particularly impressive as the moody, brooding Moses. Jodie Whittaker as Sam is our identification figure – ‘hey, these kids really aren’t all that bad’ – and while it’s always good to see Nick Frost his stoned slacker character is getting a bit tired now.

Attack the Block marks Joe Cornish (previously best-known for his ongoing comedy partnership with Adam Buxton) as a name to watch out for in British cinema, the most exciting new director since Edgar Wright made the leap from TV with Shaun. Whilst Attack the Block isn’t quite as accomplished and downright joyous as Shaun, it’s certainly the best and most inventive British genre movie since Simon Pegg and co battled against  the Finsbury Park zombie invasion. Attack the Block is a breath of fresh air and is hugely recommended.

Expected rating: 7 out of 10

Actual rating:

In 2008, the movie world was taken by storm by the successful adaptation of  the Marvel Comic’s character Iron Man.  Making a huge name for itself as a potential franchise,  Iron Man and its sequels (one of which we have already been treated to in 2010) would not be the only stories featuring Mr. Tony Stark.

Iron Man was the beginning of a new film universe that had many interlocking films that will lead up to 2012‘s superhero team up The Avengers.  Following Iron Man was 2008’s The Incredible Hulk,  now following Iron Man’s sequel we have Thor.

 

Thor tells the story of an arrogant God (Thor, played by Chris Hemsworth) who wields the power of Thunder with his mighty hammer Mjolnir.  After preparing to claim the throne over favor of his brother Loki (Tom Hiddleston) to the realm of the Gods known as Asgard from his Father Odin (Anthony Hopkins),   Asgard is attacked by an ancient enemy of Asgard known as the Frost Giants who wish to claim back the their realms old power source, The Casket Of Ancient Winters.

 

Though unsuccessful in their attempt to take back their Casket, Thor being the blood thirsty brings Loki, Lady Sif (Jaimie Alexander), and The Warriors Three’s Fandral (Joshua Dalls), Hogun (Tadanobu Asano) , and Hogun (Ray Stevenson) into The Bifrost to attack the Frost Giants.

 

This attack ends up restarting the ancient war, which leads Odin to Banish Thor to the realm Misgard (Earth) and stripping him of his powers until he proves his worth as a God by becoming more like a human.  During his banishment he meets a group of helpful scientists Jane Foster (Natalie Portman), Erik Selvig (Stellan Skarsgard), and Darcy Lewis (Kat Dennings),  whose research also coincides with Thor’s mysterious (to humans) arrival on Earth.

 

Though Thor’s return may not be as easy as he believes, as a jealous brother and a dangerous and destructive weapon from Odin’s treasure vault stand in the way of the god of thunder receiving the throne to Asgard.

 

Chris Hemsworth was relatively unknown outside of a brief role as the father of Captain James Tiberius Kirk in the 2009 reboot of the cult Sci-fi television hit Star Trek.  When announced as our  new Thor, worry spread ever so slightly that perhaps he may not be talented or big enough to play the notoriously big and depth filled character that was Marvel Comic’s god of thunder.  But within the first few minutes Hemsworth proves he can capture the arrogance of Thor, as well as the eventually reformed good natured side of the character.  Hemsworth puts caution to the wind and owns the God of Thunder by playing him to a tee.

 

I am eager to see his career sky rocket into plenty more prominent roles.  After praise from not only me, but many others,  Any movie with Chris Hemsworth in the starring role is no longer the gamble Thor was when casting the then unknown actor.

 

Hemsworth shows he is a talented actor not only capable of holding his own in his in a starring role in a huge block buster, but that he will certainly have no trouble keeping up with the top notch list of stars such as Robert Downey Jr. and Samuel L. Jackson in 2012’s The Avengers; which will be Hemsworth’s second official appearance as Thor.

 

Another ground breaking performance is given by Tom Hiddleston as Loki the God of mischief. The ever jealous brother of Thor is seen battling with his eagerness to beat out Thor as Odin’s favorite son. Hiddleston captures a raw essence in Loki that seemed damn near impossible to capture outside of the comics.

 

Showing off not only Loki’s cunning attitude, but also his anger, jealousy, and overall confusion of discovering who he really is, Hiddleston’s Loki compares to that of Heath Ledger’s Joker in The Dark Knight, both of whose captivating performances steal the show.

 

Natalie Portman plays Jane Foster, the love interest in a comic movie who surprisingly isn’t a bland character, unlike most superhero movies, whose love interests are poorly written and often boring (looking at you Raimi). Marvel studios have hit the ball out of the park again with Portman, after great performances by Liv Tyler (The Incredible Hulk) and Gwyneth Paltrow (Iron Man; though dropping the ball a bit with her character in the sequel) .

 

Portman plays a great character who, in a sense, isn’t a “love” interest at all.  To put it better, it is more of a crush with a little romance sprinkled in.  Though Portman, coming off an Oscar win in Black Swan, once again  works well with an entertaining character that just could not be the same without her.

 

Also played greatly is Erik Selvig, who is played by the great Stellan Skarsgard.  Selvig may be used rather briefly (like the rest of the supporting characters you will read about shortly), but he is used very well as a barrier between Thor and Jane’s potential relationship.

 

Now I had seen first hand the fans reaction to Kat Denning’s character Darcy.  Many were uninterested in her humor during the first official clip of Thor she was featured in.  Saying that, I also have nothing but praise for Dennings as well, as she plays a regular person (not exactly the same type of scientist and not working as closely to stuff related to Asgard as Jane and Erik) who handles her disbelief of Thor claiming to be a god in a sarcastic and often charming way.  Darcy is used greatly as a character to provide some regular humanity to the movie.

 

Also fairly underused was Lady Sif, a cautiously tough woman who proves to be one of Asgards greatest and noblest warriors.  Jaimie is nothing short of fierce in this role, and my only downside is a lack a screen time for this character.

 

The warriors three are each played EXACTLY like their comic counterparts, but again  the lack of screen time hurt a good chance of audiences getting attached to them as characters.

 

The decision to cast black actor Idris Elba as the white Heimdall gained a tiny amount of backlash everywhere from comic fan boys to white supremacist groups, who refused to see the movie.  Though Elba works greatly with the little time he is given as Asgard’s gate keeper and all seeing eye, it saddens me that he was cast. I feel that there are other great Marvel characters he had potential to play (ex, Black Panther or Blade), and this role might preclude his consideration for another ‘Marvel Universe’ role.  Though great, his character felt like a slight waste of talent, when he could have been used to better potential in other characters (unlike the other underused characters, who were practically born to play their parts).

 

With my somewhat rant-like display on the unfortunate underuse of great characters, this is also what  allows the film to thrive; as it simply focuses on the character that deserved/needed it most, Thor.

 

To touch briefly on the look of the film, the effects used during fight scenes were fantastic and Colm Feore was also almost completely unrecognizable as the king of the Frost Giants,- Laufey.  The 3D in the Earth scenes is dark at times, but the scenes on the wonderfully CGI and set pieced filled Asgard look fantastic on the big screen.

 

Thor remains a strong pillar that is holding up the ceiling that is metaphorically The Avengers.  My new personal favorite of the bunch.  Remember to catch Thor AND Loki’s return in The Avengers May 4^th 2012.  Aslo be sure to stay after the credits for an extra treat.

 

Expected 8/10

Actual…

Summer 2012 is shaping up to be the year of the second-string superhero movie. Thor, directed by Kenneth Branagh – Kenneth Branagh!!) is first off the blocks but Captain America and Green Lantern are ready to go and there’s a rebooted ‘X-Men’ franchise just around the corner too. But movies based on any but the Big Three comic books characters – Batman, Superman, Spider-Man – can sometimes be a tough sell because very often few outside the comics cogniscenti have the vaguest clue who any of these people are. Second division superhero movies can either fly (Iron Man) or flatline (Daredevil) and there’s rarely any guarantee of Box office gold just because a film is ‘from the makers of Spider-Man…’

Thor was likely to be an especially tough nut to crack as he’s not actually a superhero at all in any traditional sense. Re-envisioned as a comic book character by Stan Lee and Jack Kirby back in the early 1960s, Thor’s roots are buried deep in Norse mythology. Although Lee and Kirby used that mythology to fashion a new superhero (with Thor as the alter-ego for the crippled Donald Blake), Branagh, not unnaturally given his own Shakespearean background, has concentrated more on the mythological elements of the character – a healthy proportion of the movie is set on Asgaard, Thor’s trans-dimensional off-world home. After a brief sequence on Earth we’re pitched straight into the long battle between the Asgaard Gods and their bitter (in every sense) enemies the Frost Giants. Brrrr. Thor’s mischievous half-brother Loki (Middleton chewing up any scenery left ungnawed by Sir Anthony Hopkins as the pompous Odin) has tricked the naive Thor into reigniting the battle and, for his sins, Thor is banished to Earth by his grumpy dad Odin. Here’s where Thor plays the fish-out-of-water card as he meets up with a team of hokey scientists led by Jane Foster (Portman) and Thor, very quickly it has to be said, learns about life on Earth and sets about trying to reclaim his beloved magical hammer Mjolnir (which has also been cast down to earth in a ball of flame). Meanwhile Loki, who has managed to emote Odin to death, sets about making sure he can claim what he sees as his rightful place as the Big Boss of Asgaard by sending some other Asgaardians and a big robot-thing called the Destroyer (which shoots fire from its eyes!) down to Earth to finish off Thor. Oh, and Thor has time to take a fancy to Jane Foster too, just for good measure…

Loads going on, admittedly, and yet the film still somehow manages to feel a bit small-scale. The on-Earth action is all centered around a small, isolated New Mexico town – the wider world is utterly unaware of the coming of Thor – and whilst most of the action set pieces are well-realized (the battle with the Destroyer particularly), it’s hard not to feel that the film’s holding back a bit on telling an even bigger story with even higher stakes. As it is we’re asked to concern ourselves with a mythological world cutting off its bridge to Earth and the power struggle between two mythical figures and with no real threat to the wider world. As a result Thor feels a bit low key (or should that be Loki??), an origin story in all but name and, as we know, very much the precursor to the currently-filming Avengers movie which will team up Thor with Iron Man, Captain America and a recast Hulk.

Branagh, clearly aware that Thor could easily lose itself in its own pomposity, lets the film breathe with some moments of real wit and humour to offset the cod Shakespearean of many of the Asgaard sequences. Hemsworth as Thor is real find, handling the twinkling moments of comedy as easily as he handles the drama and the action and whilst Middleton is a revelation as the arch, devious Loki there’s not much Natalie Portman could realistically do with her wide-eyed role as Thor’s potential human squeeze.

Thor is never less than entertaining, the pace rarely flags and it’s all done with a style and gusto and a real feel for the material we might not have expected from Branagh. The story and the scale may be a little underpowered at times but this is a bold and confident start for a new and rather different superhero franchise. Oh, and you’ll want to hang around until the end of the closing credits too…

Expected 6

Actual…

The good folk of Dagenham (checks notes)…sorry, Daggerhorn, have got a bit of a problem. Every month they leave a  goat sacrifice out for the local marauding werewolf. But wolfie has acquired the taste for human flesh and goat is strictly off the lyncanthrope menu. Village beauty Valerie (Seyfried) is gutted when her sister is too (ie gutted) and the villagers call upon crazed werewolf hunter Father Soloman (Oldman) to track down the creepy beastie for the sake of their goat supplies if nothing else. But Valerie, she of the red hood of the title, has got other problems apart from slaughtered sisters and that pesky goat shortage. She’s got the hots for two local lads – the darkly brooding Peter (Fernandez) and moneybags Henry (who she’s due to marry). One of them may have a secret, too…and it involves going all furry when there’s a full moon about.

Director Catherine Hardwicke effectively defanged vampires when she launched the Twilight saga a few years back and she’s done much the same here in this insipid, lifeless fairy tale which rarely springs to life and, courtesy of some genuinely bargain basement CGI, features probably the least terrifying werewolf in the history of cinema. Hardwick’s much more concerned with her dull, gooey-eyed young stars but their who-loves-who predicament engenders little interest or enthusiasm because the script gives them little to work and requires them to do little more than pout at one another. Fortunately there’s no-one here as miserable as the Twilight series’ Bella but there’s no-one with the undoubted smouldering charisma and star quality of Robert Pattison either. Only Gary Oldman’s looney tunes turn as Soloman manages to bring the movie to occasional life, Julie Christie is criminally wasted as Valerie’s Grandmother (what big teeth she has) and despite the stabbings and gougings it’s a bloodless affair with no real sense of danger and absolutely no sense of excitement.

Red Riding Hood is stylish and slick but it’s a hollow and soulless experience. Undiscerning teens impatient for the next chapter of the Twilight saga might find some entertainment value in this anodyne affair but anyone expecting the dark, Gothic scares the story suggests would be advised to look anywhere else.

Expected 5

Actual…

The good folk of Dagenham (checks notes)…sorry, Daggerhorn, have got a bit of a problem. Every month they leave a  goat sacrifice out for the local marauding werewolf. But wolfie has acquired the taste for human flesh and goat is strictly off the lyncanthrope menu. Village beauty Valerie (Seyfried) is gutted when her sister is too (ie gutted) and the villagers call upon crazed werewolf hunter Father Soloman (Oldman) to track down the creepy beastie for the sake of their goat supplies if nothing else. But Valerie, she of the red hood of the title, has got other problems apart from slaughtered sisters and that pesky goat shortage. She’s got the hots for two local lads – the darkly brooding Peter (Fernandez) and moneybags Henry (who she’s due to marry). One of them may have a secret, too…and it involves going all furry when there’s a full moon about.

Director Catherine Hardwicke effectively defanged vampires when she launched the Twilight saga a few years back and she’s done much the same here in this insipid, lifeless fairy tale which rarely springs to life and, courtesy of some genuinely bargain basement CGI, features probably the least terrifying werewolf in the history of cinema. Hardwick’s much more concerned with her dull, gooey-eyed young stars but their who-loves-who predicament engenders little interest or enthusiasm because the script gives them little to work and requires them to do little more than pout at one another. Fortunately there’s no-one here as miserable as the Twilight series’ Bella but there’s no-one with the undoubted smouldering charisma and star quality of Robert Pattison either. Only Gary Oldman’s looney tunes turn as Soloman manages to bring the movie to occasional life, Julie Christie is criminally wasted as Valerie’s Grandmother (what big teeth she has) and despite the stabbings and gougings it’s a bloodless affair with no real sense of danger and absolutely no sense of excitement.

Red Riding Hood is stylish and slick but it’s a hollow and soulless experience. Undiscerning teens impatient for the next chapter of the Twilight saga might find some entertainment value in this anodyne affair but anyone expecting the dark, Gothic scares the story suggests would be advised to look anywhere else.

Expected 5

Actual…

Zack Snyder is not one to shy away from big, action packed and visually stunning films. 300 and Watchmen are two such films. But with his new film, Sucker Punch, Snyder seems to have gone too far. By trying to go it alone, doing the writing, producing and directing, he missed out elements that are needed to make a film stand on its own two feet.

Sucker Punch follows the story of Baby Doll (Browning), who is locked in a mental house and then forced to dance and perform other services at the hands of paying men. With the help of Sweat Pea (Cornish), Rocket (Malone), Blondie (Hudgens) and Amber (Chung), she seeks to escape from her prison before the high roller arrives in just five short days.

Baby Doll soon discovers that when she dances she escapes into her own world where anything is possible and finds her guardian angel is there to protect and guide her. When dancing, anyone who is watching becomes completely distracted allowing the other girls to steal the items they need to escape.

Before going to see this film you know it is going to be far fetched and unrealistic, but the film still goes too far and so many bits just don’t make sense. There are so many visually mesmerising fight scenes involving dragons, robots, 20 foot ninjas and Nazis but inbetween, there is nothing holding it together. It seems to be fantasy after fantasy, straight out of the head of a teenage boy.

The girls’ attire, apart from making them look stupidly good, didn’t really have a place in the film. I can understand that while dancing, they would be dressed as they are, but when Baby Doll enters her own imagination, she has no reason to continue to dress in the same way, and the others certainly don’t.

This film could have been the big break for all the girls involved but as there is little opportunity to show off any acting chops, the opportunity (unfortunately) appears to have passed them by. I wonder just how much time they spent not in front of a green screen. You have to give it to Snyder though, he does know how to make a fight scene gripping. The distinct lack of cuts during the action really kept you locked into the scenes, making you feel a lot more involved, like you could actually be there.

There is talk that some scenes that helped hold the story together, had to be taken out because the film certificate board didn’t agree with them. If a director’s cut is released, that may be a step in the right direction, helping bridge the gaps.

Until that happens, Sucker Punch is just an adrenalin shot, put together for adolescent males who want to see nothing more than barely dressed girls fighting with everything and anything.

Expected rating  8
Actual…