Review Category: DVD/Blu Ray

Rudolph Valentino was probably the first film star to truly feel the heat of fan hysteria. When he died there were riots and people committed suicide. It was the early days of ‘Tinseltown’ and the kind of desperate passion Valentino engendered in his admirers had never been seen before, and has rarely been seen since.

Ken Russell’s fantastic biopic begins with Valentino (Rudolf Nureyev) lying in state in his golden coffin, as the funeral parlour windows are smashed through and the hysterical crowd streams in. The movie star’s story is told in flashbacks, by the three women he was closest to in life – June Mathis (Felicity Kendal), the screenwriter who discovered him and who was, although an unrequited love, the only woman who genuinely cared for him – Alla Nazimova (Leslie Caron), a publicity-seeking harridan who makes the most splendid entrance to a funeral home ever seen, engulfed in a seemingly mile-long cape and flanked by handmaidens, and Natasha Rambova (Michelle Phillips), Valentino’s second wife, who obsessively attempted to control (and almost destroyed) his career, her every decision dictated by a small sack of fortune-telling bones.

From Valentino’s earliest days as a gigolo/dancer, when a woman murders her husband for him, to the meteoric rise and fall of his film career, his disputes with studio bosses and – finally – the boxing match and suicidal drinking session that led to his tragic death, Rudolph Valentino’s story was one of scandal, heightened emotion and glorious excess.

When Ken Russell admits, during one of the Blu-Ray’s many special features, that he doesn’t like his film, it comes as a surprise because Valentino is a very good movie indeed. Perhaps, despite its wonderful operatic scope, it’s a little bit more ‘reined in’ than most of Russell’s other pictures and, unlike many of his earlier films, there’s very little for the censors to get upset about. But it does have Russell’s trademark grandiosity and terrifically black humour, it is always quite beautiful to look at and, at just over two hours in length, it never outstays its welcome.

As with many films of this era, there’s also a lot of scope to play “guess the face”, with some surprising actors appearing in minor, sometimes non-speaking, roles: Linda Thorson, Anton Diffring, Carol Kane, Alfred Marks, William Hootkins, and Russell stalwarts Dudley Sutton and Georgina Hale, to name just a few. And look out for Russell himself in an uncredited cameo. But the real ‘performance gem’ of Valentino is Felicity Kendal, who makes the most of every moment onscreen. It’s a pity that the majority of her career has been confined to theatre and television because Valentino proves she is also a consummate movie actress.

The Blu-Ray presentation is exquisite and there are a tremendous raft of special features including an audio commentary, an archival interview with Nureyev, and a fantastic conversation with Dudley Sutton about his experience playing Willie the Wanker, in a grotesque drunk-tank scene. It’s a shame Russell turned his back on Valentino because it ranks among his best work (despite its failure at the box office, it’s easily one of his most accessible films) and it’s a movie that should be in every cinema lovers collection.

VALENTINO (1977) / CERT: 18 / DIRECTOR: KEN RUSSELL / SCREENPLAY: KEN RUSSELL, MARDIK MARTIN / STARRING: RUDOLF NUREYEV, FELICITY KENDALL, LESLIE CARON, MICHELLE PHILLIPS / RELEASE DATE: 29TH FEBRUARY

Anthology horrors were all the rage in the 1960s and ‘70s, and films such as Dr. Terror’s House of Horrors and Tales From the Crypt continue to spook audiences to this day, but Tales That Witness Madness is less well remembered. Now it has its first Blu-ray and DVD release, courtesy of Fabulous Films, is it worth revisiting?

Tales That Witness Madness begins like all anthology films – with its framing story. Dr. Tremayne (Pleasence), who runs a mental asylum with oddly futuristic corridors, tells his colleague Dr. Nicholas (Hawkins) of four special cases he has ‘solved’, and thus begins the flashbacks revealing what made these four patients so mad.

The first story, Mr. Tiger, introduces us to a child who insists he’s visited by an invisible tiger. His parents assume it’s just his imagination, but things escalate, with brutal consequences. It’s a nicely simple concept, drawing tension and terror from the common occurrence of children’s imaginary friends.

Then there’s Penny Farthing, about an antiques storeowner who inherits a Victorian bicycle and a photograph of his ancestor ‘Uncle Albert’. The photo telekinetically lifts him onto the bike, which sends him back in time. It all gets a little too weird for its own good. The poor guy’s girlfriend, understandably, doesn’t believe him about this. There are brutal consequences.

Third comes Mel, which has an entertainingly lurid concept – a man (Michal Jayston) brings a tree into his living room and falls in love with it. Don’t judge him, it does have sexy tree nipples. His wife (Collins) doesn’t approve, and there are violent consequences.

Finally, there’s Luau, in which literary agent Auriol Pageant (Novak) courts client Kimo (Michael Petrovich), unaware that he’s a member of a Hawaiian cult and intends to sacrifice a virgin – Pageant’s daughter Ginny (Mary Tamm). Enjoyment of this one will depend on your tolerance for its dodgy racial politics, particularly considering white actors play the native Hawaiian characters.

Overall, the way the stories play out is very predictable – the first three have almost exactly the same ending. Luau is the one that breaks the mould, and not particularly satisfyingly – it ends abruptly, and leaves you wondering at what point Pageant turned mad. The framing story also doesn’t hit the right notes, with Tremayne’s reasons for showing Nicholas these four cases being somewhat forced.

The film’s main strength is its cast, with big stars like Collins, Novak, and Pleasence appearing and doing the best they can with material that’s, frankly, far from their best.

Tales That Witness Madness, then, is no classic, with predictable writing letting it down, but the interesting ideas and strong performances make this new release worthy of a place on a completist’s shelf.

TALES THAT WITNESS MADNESS (1973) / CERT: 18 / DIRECTOR: FREDDIE FRANCIS / SCREENPLAY: JENNIFER JAYNE / STARRING: DONALD PLEASENCE, JOAN COLLINS, KIM NOVAK, JACK HAWKINS / RELEASE DATE: FEBRUARY 29TH

WWE (World Wrestling Entertainment) is the multi-media conquering wrestling organization, governed by Vince McMahon. In the past they were known for family wrestling entertainment, then moved onto a far edgier form of programming, before in the last few years moving back into the family format- albeit over here they are still mostly 15-rated (go figure). Why are we telling you this? Because WWE is known for sports entertainment and not movies and yet, with the inception of WWE Studios, the company has pushed their biggest wrestling stars into the movie industry with, it is fair to say, a mixed degree of success. For every fine or occasionally great effort (12 Rounds, No One Lives, Oculus) there have been woeful misfires (The Chaperone, The Marine, Leprechaun Origins) but one film that some happened to favour was The Condemned. Starring arguably one of the biggest wrestling stars ever, in “Stone Cold” Steve Austin, the film was a fun (if cheesy) throwaway Saturday night actioner, which was heavily (and we mean heavily) indebted to The Running Man and Battle Royale. So has this sequel managed to retain the enjoyably trashy aspects of the first?

Well, first off, WWE star Randy Orton (12 Rounds 2: Reloaded, That’s What I Am) takes on leading duties this time round and the story is the same in terms of the gambling on death concept but bares practically no resemblance in any other way. The film focuses on Will Tanner (Orton), the leader of a pack of bounty hunters, and when one assignment goes badly wrong Will finds himself imprisoned. Six months later a deal is struck and Will is on temporary release, determined on leaving his old life behind. However he soon finds himself embroiled in a whole new deadly world, as those he once knew come gunning for him. What is this all about? Who’s operating those drones following him? How will he survive long enough to find out?

A passing moment of dialogue refers to the events of the last film but aside from that, this is practically a different film, and a massively forgettable one. The narrative drives along in the, admittedly picturesque, New Mexico setting but as the clichés mount (man of violence trying to move on, rich people betting on death, innocent guy presumed guilty) it is clear that the film is not going to deliver anything distinctive. The action becomes chock full of explosions but for all its fiery bangs and crashes, some of the action sequences feel troublingly edited, with the odd awkward cuts and moments of messy choreography. The central gambling idea is not used to any great effect and just becomes a requirement, so the film can thematically bare a slight resemblance to its predecessor. As an action film it is watchable but not as exciting as the films that have inspired it- Hard Target, Death Race (2008)- hell it is vastly inferior to The Condemned, which had many flaws, but at least had grit, hard-nosed action scenes and a usage of the core idea.

The acting is so-so, with Randy Orton actually being a fairly good everyman lead, as Will, but a bland script hampers his character, much like it does the supporting cast. Will’s team are reduced to Call of Duty-like categories: the sniper, the bomber, the leader, etc. and when they come into play, the script illogically makes the hero out to be an idiot; he practically walks into the second trap willingly! Eric Roberts offers some good support as Frank Tanner (Will’s dad), evading the dull dialogue just enough to become probably the most charismatic presence in the movie (not difficult). Meanwhile Breaking Bad’s Steven Michael Quezada hams it up as villain Raul and while OTT, his performance at least gives our hero someone worthwhile to fight- even if the 5’5’’ star looks laughably outmatched by the 6’4’’ WWE Star come the final fight!

The Condemned 2 is not a wholly awful film; it is just massively unimpactful, drab, and virtually unrelated to the (more enjoyable) 2007 film. Orton is a decent star but the script lacks energy, the story lacks impact and the action lacks punch (so to speak). If there is nothing else on, this is watchable enough but you won’t be recalling it for all that long, if at all.

Special Features: Featurettes

THE CONDEMNED 2 / CERT: 15 / DIRECTOR: ROEL REINÉ / SCREENPLAY: ALAN B. MCELROY / STARRING: RANDY ORTON, ERIC ROBERTS, STEVEN MICHAEL QUEZADA / RELEASE DATE: 29TH FEBRUARY

Hailing from New Zealand, Deathgasm takes its sensibility from the likes of Bad Taste but much of its story from Shaun of the Dead, with a whiff of This is Spinal Tap thrown in for good measure. It’s a likeable, riotous, fast moving black comedy/horror, with enough inventiveness and congeniality to engage from start to finish.

When his mother is institutionalised, guitar playing metalhead Brodie (the charmingly pencil-faced Cawthorne) is sent to live with his knuckle-brained cousin David and his Bible bashing parents, but it’s not long before Brodie forms a band (the eponymous Deathgasm) with dissolute bassist Zakk (a roguish Blake), and falls for cousin David’s bombshell girlfriend Medina (the wholesome, golden-haired Crossman). When Zakk leads Brodie unwittingly into breaking into the home of reclusive old rocker Rikki Daggers (a ragged Ure), Daggers presses upon them to take the sheet music for a demon-summoning composition before a devil-worshipping cult – who arrive hot on the two teens’ heels – can get their hands on it. Daggers is murdered, but before the members of the cult can catch up with Brodie and Zakk, Deathgasm have given the tune a trial and the townspeople start getting possessed.

And that’s just the first twenty minutes or so. The rest of the film is an hilariously bloodthirsty romp as the winsomely unassuming Brodie and bad boy Zakk find their friendship tested to the limit, while fighting their way through the zombified possessed in an attempt to stop the demon before it can fully materialise – and see if Brodie can get the girl. The whole thing is shot through with a good natured brutality of the kind you only get in Antipodean cinema, as writer and director Jason Lei Howden finds as many and varied ways for his cast to off the zombified possessed as possible – including a justifiably infamous scene involving an assortment of sex toys.

This is wilfully cheap and nasty stuff – and joyously, knowingly so – and your enjoyment will depend in parts upon your enthusiasm for heavy metal, your willingness to suspend your disbelief for a multitude of unlikely deaths, your desire to see the nerds win out, and the ability of the young cast to carry all of this off. Fortunately the central trio are as charismatic as you might wish, and make suspending your sense of the ridiculous an easy task. Howden’s cartoonish direction betrays his influence as being as much the Cornetto Trilogy and Matthew Vaughn’s caricatured action flicks as it is the likes of Sam Raimi’s Evil Dead, and although short on budget, Deathgasm is assured and accomplished enough not to be completely outclassed in that company. A low-rent but unexpectedly entertaining blast.

DEATHGASM / CERT: 15 / DIRECTOR & SCREENPLAY: JASON LEI HOWDEN / STARRING: MILO CAWTHORNE, KIMBERLEY CROSSMAN, JAMES BLAKE, DELANEY TABRON, STEPHEN URE / RELEASE DATE: FEBRUARY 29TH

 
 

When it comes to physical comedy there is an art to it and it is easy to tell between those who can and cannot manage it. Rowan Atkinson is without doubt one of the finest physical comics of our generation. His timing, mannerisms and ability to use all aspects of his body for comic effect, recall the silent era comedy greats. However, as is the case for this type of comedy as a whole, Atkinson’s iconic comic creation Mr. Bean is either your thing or it isn’t (it is very much this writer’s thing). The lone, near-mute, British, bumbling, man-child annoys many audiences, but Atkinson’s mastery of this genre has made Mr. Bean one of the most internationally successful and recognisible comedy characters ever created. Due to the reliance on rubber-faced expression and mannerisms over dialogue, Bean has cross-cultural appeal that defies the language barrier. That said, in bringing the character to the big screen, some have said that the transition has been so-so at best.

The first effort, Mel Smith’s 1996 film Bean, had its moments but changed the Television show’s formula and the whole facet of the character, by having Bean speak more fluently and toning down the occasional peevishness of the character. A character Atkinson himself has called, “a child inside a man’s body”. However with Mr. Bean’s Holiday, released back in 2007, Hamish McColl and Robin Driscoll’s script attempted to revert back to the show’s winning formula- albeit still making Bean less mean (in the childish sense). The result is a film that will not win any new fans over but will entertain those who love the character and offer audiences tired of sweary, lewd, mainstream comedy, something very old school and very inoffensively commendable.

The plot is essentially in the title, though there is slightly more to it, as Mr. Bean (Atkinson) wins a church raffle and receives a holiday to Cannes, some spending money and a camcorder (we’ve only ever won a soap set!!). So as Mr. Bean heads to France, recording his misadventures along the way, his trip does not go exactly as planned. A train mishap leaves Bean stranded with a young boy, Stepan (Max Baldry), and the two must find their way to Cannes, so Stepan can be reunited with his father and Mr. Bean can, well, go to the beach of course! Mr. Bean’s Holiday is an unapologetic love letter to French cinema (the title is inspired- like the character- by Jacques Tati’s Mr. Hulot’s Holiday (1953), conjuring a constant sense of déjà vu with some of its colourfully shot landscapes and ‘70s style French cinematography that seems awash in summer colour and vibrant sheen.

The problem with the film is really that Bean is a character more suited to smaller scaled chaos, the reason the show worked so well is because it focused on the daily grind and how this clumsy individual would, with child-like imagination, solve problems in the most over thought and long-winded ways possible. It feels ever so slightly strange to see him spruced up on the big screen, in a pacey adventure. Not to mention one that is so overstuffed with elements, combining slapstick with foreign feature drama and road movie tropes. The film starts off slowly too, with many of the gags being near repeats (and less well structured ones) from the television series. There is admittedly a constant silly energy, mostly powered by Atkinson’s commitment, but the early worries leave you thinking that this will be an awkwardly dated adventure. Thankfully those worries are soon alleviated, as the plot seems to find its feet. True there is a sugary aspect to the script and the film never hits the highs of the series but it is constantly likable and does offer a few worthwhile messages.

In many ways Holiday comes to parody certain breeds of cinema- the Cannes setting was clearly going to involve the Cannes Film Festival- and offers a swell message of how pretentious people, who think they know what it is to be human, are often looking in all the wrong places. The satirical elements may be slight, this is after all a film that sets out to make you grin rather than guffaw, but overall it is unexplainably heart warming to see this bumbling character finally get the companionship that in many ways he has never attained- even if he doesn’t necessarily realise it.

This is Atkinson’s show and he makes it all work, in what was the character’s grande departure- though viewers who caught the 2012 Olympics and Comic Relief last year, know that it wasn’t the last time we would see Mr. Bean. That said he is supported by a great set of performances from Max Baldry as the likable Stepan and Emma De Caunes as actress Sabine, who strikes a sweet chemistry with Atkinson’s hapless traveller. Then there is Willem Dafoe’s humourously stone-faced performance as initially pompous Director Carson Clay, which is a nice touch.

Mr. Bean’s Holiday is far from perfect and has a slow start and many sequences that miss the mark (the tie vending machine). That said the spirit of Buster Keaton, Jacques Tati and Harold Lloyd live on, in a handful of sequences in the film, featuring splendidly silly stunts (The Jour de Fête referencing Bicycle scene, vehicle walk to the beach and almost Looney Toons-like shed escape) and well-performed scenes (The “O mio babbino caro” routine). Plus it is admirable and somewhat unique in this day and age to see a mainstream film that is largely dialogue-free or subtitled for a great deal of the duration. Mr. Bean’s Holiday is not a laugh riot and is inferior to the character’s televised pratfalls but there is slightly more to it than you might expect and, like a seaside trip with the family, this holiday is a sweet and sunny experience.

Special Features: Featurettes / Deleted Scenes

MR. BEAN’S HOLIDAY (2007) / CERT: PG / DIRECTOR: STEVE BENDELACK / SCREENPLAY: HAMISH MCCOLL, ROBIN DRISCOLL / STARRING: ROWAN ATKINSON, EMMA DE CAUNES, MAX BALDRY, WILLEM DAFOE/ RELEASE DATE: 15TH FEBRUARY 

There has been some kind of national emergency. Dead bodies litter the streets. Planes are dropping out of the sky. David wants to get back to his wife but all the routes are blocked, so he ignores a traffic patrolman’s warning and swerves through the barrier anyway. He finds himself driving through an eerie no-mans-land, trying to piece together what is happening, listening to the last phone message his wife left – “there’s someone in our house, don’t go home.”

A man walks like a zombie along the side of the road; a young woman suddenly appears in David’s headlights and inexplicably hurls a pail-full of water across the windshield of his car. David is flagged down by a small group of survivors, one or two are wounded, but before he can find out what’s going on, electric blue lights zip through the trees like sniper-fire and the survivors are cut down. David hides in a tree with Samantha, whose own husband was killed at the top of the story. Beneath them, dark humanoid figures are hunting. Above them, sinister alien craft scour the landscape with powerful white light.

David and Samantha manage to escape (luckily the alien drone that goes looking for them doesn’t think to check around corners) and they immediately bond over the mess both of them have made of their marriages (as you would, when you meet a stranger during a post-apocalyptic alien invasion). Meanwhile, David’s colleague Ryan is drunkenly phoning David’s wife to bitch about the state of his own life, although he manages to rescue a little girl he finds on the street. David’s wife has problems of her own – their dog is sick and a family friend has just declared his undying love for her, before striding manfully off into the wilderness.

But the aliens, with their barely glimpsed reptilian faces and their leatherette cone head helmets, are seemingly destroying everything in sight. Will David and Samantha reach the evacuation point in time? Will David ever find his wife? Why does the hillbilly with the shotgun think he can hold off an ET with a laser blaster? And what does the water supply have to do with any of this?

First the good news: Alienate features some sparing but nice-looking UFO effects with a brief but very well done daylight battle scene. And, as alien invasion movies go, it’s nowhere near as bad as Signs.

But the bad news? Despite the best efforts of Blake Webb (as David) and Jaclyn Hales (as Samantha), the characterisations are flimsy and clichéd, the story is nonsensical and tensionless, and – ultimately – Alienate is just another tedious, cynical exercise in nano-budget sci-fi filmmaking, with an ending that’s supposed to be brave and emotionally engaging but just falls flat on its face like a stupefied facehugger.

ALIENATE / CERT: 15 / DIRECTOR: MICHAEL SHUMWAY / SCREENPLAY: RICK HANSBERRY, LEX HOGAN / STARRING: BLAKE WEBB, JACLYN HALES, TATUM LANGTON / RELEASE DATE: 22ND FEBRUARY

Upon its conception, Lost Girl has been a show that had prompted a few eye rolls due to its admittedly silly premise, but over the years, the fanbase grew and the show proved that it had strong legs, even if its fourth season was wobbly at best. There are so many aspects to like about the show, that it was always going to be somewhat inevitable that it would all end rather anti-climactically. In truth, this final season felt more like your typical solid season, rather than going out with a bang in an epic swansong that everyone was promised from the beginning. However, what’s impressive is that it never sells out its remarkable roster of distinguishable characters, nor does it sideline its core themes and messages.

This season still manages to convey the emotional core of our characters and certainly put them through the ringer this time around. It’s still a little silly and cheesy here and there, but that is what was always part of the show’s charm. It relishes the craziness, with a slick and stylish flare and bouts of humour, and we still get that here. Even though the production side of things can be somewhat awkward (a long-standing niggle), it was always the beating heart in its lead character and elements, as to why Bo and her stories resonated so much with its target audience.

With this season in particular, we get to see almost every character flex their muscles and add a bit more weight and gravitas to their overall performances. It’s a testament to Anna Silk for still managing to make Bo the fully-rounded character she is, and it’s thanks to her that we are invested in Bo’s final journey here. Other standouts include Zoie Palmer for still making the character of Lauren strong, due to her nuanced strength and resilience, and Rachel Skarsten who brilliantly captures the playful, yet vulnerable sides of Tamsin and has really come into her own in this series.

However, you do get the sense here that things are getting a little rushed, which is evident in its breakneck pacing. It’s far too quick and slapdash for its own good, so much so that the entire season doesn’t end up generating the kind of impact it set out to achieve. What we have is Bo and everyone else moving from one crisis to the next, with plenty of deus ex machina thrown, in order to get things in place for the conclusion, whilst doing it all at a terrific speed. Kenzi has always been a firm fan-favourite for a very good reason (Ksenia Solo is freakin’ hilarious!), but this season suffers from having Kenzi in it, but not using her very much, essentially reducing her to a guest star role, with each appearance being very sporadic and confusing in execution and that’s a real shame. It also can’t really decide who its actual main villain is (was it Zee or Hades?), and even though the entire show has sort of been building up to this big epic battle between Bo and her father Hades, by the time we do actually get there, it’s all over within a blink of an eye. Really?!

As a whole, there is more good than bad in the way that this fifth season has finished the run of Lost Girl, yet it isn’t quite as impressive as one was hoping. If you are a die-hard fan of the show then, of course, you should check it out, and there definitely is fun to be had, but it just never comes together in a fully satisfying way. It felt like it rushed to its own conclusion and some characters got the short end of the stick (Kenzi especially), however, it never loses its unique off-kilter vibe and emotional core, which actually makes the whole journey sort of worth it in the end. Thank fae for that I guess.

LOST GIRL- THE COMPLETE FINAL SEASON / CERT: 15 / DIRECTORS: PAOLO BARZMAN, RON MURPHY, MAIRZEE ALMAS, DAVID GREENE, GAIL HARVEY, BRUCE MCDONALD, LEE ROSE / SCREENPLAY: MICHAEL GRASSI, EMILY ANDRAS, ALEXANDRA ZAROWNY, STEVE COCHRANE, LEY LUKINS, SANDRA CHWIALKOWSKA, LAUREN GOSNELL, LARA AZZOPARDI / STARRING: ANNA SILK, KRIS HOLDEN-RIED, RICK HOWLAND, ZOIE PALMER, KSENIA SOLO / RELEASE DATE: OUT NOW

Rod (Alan Bagh) is a successful businessman whose life is going right for him. One day he meets Nathalie (Whitney Moore), a beautiful fashion model who he used to go to school with. They strike up a relationship but just as they’re falling for each other eagles and vultures start to attack the town, leading Rod and Nathalie to fight for their survival.

The title of this film gives you a big hint as to what to expect. Writer/Director James Nguyen is obviously no talent; the film assembled more of filmmaking and writing mistakes and errors than achievements. Inspired by Hitchcock’s The Birds and Al Gore’s environmental documentary An Inconvenient Truth, Nguyen bashes the viewer over the head with his environmental message, while also trying to scare them with birds that look like they have been created on Microsoft Publisher. The film is so poorly constructed you can almost see the sellotape holding it together. The actors, fighting as they are against a horrific script, don’t fare much better. Most of the performances are flat and stilted; Alan Bagh seems dead behind the eyes, with only Whitney Moore managing to act naturally in front of the camera. You’ve got to wonder why this film is being released on Blu-ray as extra detail and clarity, what little there is, is not going to help it.

Yet here is the thing, Birdemic is funny. Don’t get us wrong, not in an intentional way, but it is entertaining. Birdemic enters the pantheon of ‘So Bad They’re Good’ films, where the cocktail of bad filmmaking serendipitously creates a film of unintentional fun and entertainment, sitting alongside films such as Samurai Cop, Miami Connection and The Room. It’s impossible not to laugh, as the characters swipe at the CGI birds with coat hangers, or dialogue gets cut off as three different takes are badly sliced together in a single shot, or the birds inexplicably spit acid at people or explode when they fly in to things. The film is over 90 minutes long, but it surprisingly passes fairly quickly. It gets to the point where you do wonder whether the film is just one big joke but that would ruin the magic of such a poor creation.

It’s difficult to give Birdemic a proper star rating. If you’re looking for a well made, genuinely good movie, then this is certainly not for you and you should consider it a one. However, if you’re a fan of B movies and are entertained by the ineptitude of catastrophic filmmaking, then grab a few friends, get some drinks and snacks and make a night of it and consider Birdemic an entertaining seven. We struggle in any good conscience to give it a positive rating, so we’ll have to go somewhere in the middle.

BIRDEMIC: SHOCK AND TERROR / CERT: 15 / DIRECTOR AND SCREENPLAY: JAMES NGUYEN / STARRING: ALAN BAGH, WHITNEY MOORE, COLTON OSBOURNE, JANAE CASTER / RELEASE DATE: 15TH FEBRUARY

This is the future, 1960s style. The nuclear family, headed by hapless George Jetson, lives in a flying saucer home that is raised by a column into the sky, to get clear of the smog clouds clinging to our planet.

Getting out of bed washed and clothed is automated, and Rosie the robot, who uses a remote control to create/use the domestic gadgets, carries out household tasks. They have big screen televisions, and George goes to work in a bubble car-sized aircraft that, on landing, packs convert into a small carry-case. His work consists of pressing a big red button – tough but somebody’s got to do it.

Even in this technological paradise, that conforms to gender stereotypes of that period – Jane Jetson and her teenage daughter Judy love shopping, young Elroy is always playing basketball – there is the smog, the automatic bathing and clothing machine batters poor George when he’s dragged out of bed, and his commute to work consists of one long traffic jam.

Things change when George is promoted and sent, by his company Spacely Sprockets, to their asteroid mining operation that has been beset by production problems. Here they meet aliens, a robot family next door (we’ve all had them) and discover who is sabotaging the factory.

This 1990 film is like a tribute to The Jetsons cartoon series that was first screened in the early 1960s, with a few cheesy pop songs thrown in for good measure. It was another entertaining primetime cartoon by Hanna and Barbera, but it never was as good as The Flintstones, which was more imaginative, had more characters and had funnier situations. Nonetheless, Jetsons: The Movie is a fun example of a Hanna/Barbera production and is dedicated to the marvelous voice work of George O’Hanlon and Mel Blanc, who both died during its production.

JETSONS: THE MOVIE (1990) / CERT: U / DIRECTORS: WILLIAM HANNA, JOSEPH BARBERA / SCREENPLAY: DENNIS MARKS / STARRING: GEORGE O’HANLON, MEL BLANC, TIFFANY, PENNY SINGLETON, PATRIC ZIMMERMAN / RELEASE DATE: 15TH FEBRUARY

From the mid 1980’s to the early 1990’s Steven Spielberg’s name was prolific on film posters, as it seemed as though he was the executive producer on just about every other film that was released. In 1986 Spielberg’s company Amblin entered the animated market with An American Tail. This was the story of the Russian-Jewish Mousekewitze family, a family of mice as you might have guessed from their name, which fled persecution in Russia, hoping to find a better life in 19th Century America, where they instead find hardship and squalor. The movie was a financial success and so five years later, An American Tail: Fievel Goes West rode into movie theatres and multiplexes.

After a devastating cat raid on their slum leaves the Mousekewitze’s homeless, the family once again becomes immigrants. They are lured to the west and the promise of wealth and wide-open spaces, where cats and mice live together in peace and mutual co-operation. Little do they realise that their latest woes are the orchestration of the nefarious and sophisti-CAT-ed Cat R. Waul, who plans on turning the mice pioneers into tasty mouseburgers after he has “exploited their labours.”

Naturally our pint-sized hero Fievel discovers the plot and enlists the help of a reluctant Wylie Burp, a once great canine sheriff that wants Fievel to “let this sleeping dog lie”.

John Cleese’s cultured accent adds a sinister air to Cat R. Waul, and although he could have easily, albeit vocally, chewed the animated scenery, his performance is refreshingly restrained. James Stewart, in his final role, lends his distinctively laconic mid-western tones to Wylie Burp. In fact his participation can’t help but remind you of the similarities between the plot of this film and John Ford’s masterpiece The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance, in which Stewart also starred. Without a doubt it is Cleese and Stewart who effortlessly steal the show.

The animation is comparable with all that Disney released during this era but it is less dark than that of the original film, both literally and figuratively.

Like a lot of sequels Fievel Goes West succumbs to the law of diminishing returns. The story uses all the familiar tropes that one is used to in a western, without breaking new ground. The final act also feels rushed. Wylie Burp agrees to help Feivel by training Feivel’s feline friend Tiger for the final showdown, there’s a short montage scene of the training and then it’s straight into the showdown. There’s surprisingly little action too, although there are plenty of comedic moments that will keep a younger audience entertained. It certainly captivated this writer’s 3-year-old, whose assessment of the film was, “I like cowboys and I like the funny talking dog.”

AN AMERICAN TAIL: FIEVEL GOES WEST (1991) / CERT: U / DIRECTORS: PHIL NIBBELINK, SIMON WELLS / SCREENPLAY: FLINT DILLE / STARRING: PHILLIP GLASSER, JAMES STEWART, CATHY CAVADINI, ERICA YOHN / RELEASE DATE: 15TH FEBRUARY