The Baby Monitor by Kate Shenton

monitor

The baby gurgled.

She reached for the monitor.

His mumbles crackled through the cheap speakers. A scratchy night-vision image on the screen showed a baby rolling onto his back, full spread-eagle. A saliva bubble popped on his lips before the camera switched itself off.

Relieved, she slotted the monitor back into its charger, then returned her attention to the numbing comfort of reality TV.

I should never have agreed to babysit. Why would you even have one?

She refused to bring something into the world which exploited her body, spent all her money and paid it back by covering her in shit! There’d been enough co-dependent relationships in her life, thank you very much.

I don’t want one, she kept telling herself. Her body clock disagreed.

Already, her ovaries were turning into scrambled eggs as her mind became a slideshow for her imaginary child. His first cry, emerging from her mutilated vagina. His first words, clearly preferring daddy over her. His wedding day, tears falling from her eyes at the existential crisis she was now facing.

No. I don’t want one!

Her mind and her body often disagreed.

Drama was erupting on the TV. The island was sweaty, the bikinis were skimpy and the speedos left little to the imagination. Generic Beauty One wanted to bang Generic Beauty Two, who was too busy banging Generic Beauties Three, Four, Five, and Seven. It was tense stuff. Living your life through others usually was.

The baby gurgled.

She reached for the monitor. A black flicker on the screen.

Trick of the eye? A spider running across the camera? The Argos Value purchase already packing in…. Or could there be someone in the room? A mass murderer caressing his weapon of choice, his face hidden by a ‘Poundland’ Halloween mask?

No, she concluded.

She resumed being a fly on the wall. Generic Beauty One was finally getting frisky with Generic Beauty Two. Reality TV was fulfilling its purpose: bringing vanilla porn to the British middle-classes.

Despite the steamy distraction, her mind kept wandering to her imaginary child. He always looked same. Curly black locks tumbling over his rosy cheeks, emerald green eyes full of mischief and a cheeky smile which was easy to forgive.

Stop it! You’re not having one!

She was a modern woman and wanted her own life – one which she could waste watching as much reality TV as she damn well pleased! It’s what the suffragettes died for.

The baby gurgled.

She reached for the monitor. Her heart stopped.

There was a shadow. In the corner of the room, behind the cot. The camera was too pixelated to show details, but it was there.

A human shape.

She dropped the monitor and ran out of the living room. Maternal instinct was kicking in; even though it wasn’t her child, she was going to fight to the death. It’s what women do.

The hallway was silent.

No noise from the bedroom.

Arming herself with an umbrella, which had been resting against the wall, she creeped up the stairs. She held her weapon like a baseball bat, adrenaline pumping through her veins.

Reaching the landing, she made her way to the unassuming bedroom, her grip tightening around the handle.

I’m going to kick the shit out of you! she kept telling herself. Positive thoughts lead to positive actions; that’s what her therapist said.

She pushed the door open and scanned the room. Nothing.

She flicked the light on. Nothing.

Just a plump baby dreaming about boobs.

Stupid monitor. She was going to write a strongly worded online review.

Lowering the umbrella, she spun around and stepped out of the room.

The baby gurgled.

Instinctively, she turned around. There was no baby in the cot.

She recognised him straightaway. Those beautiful black locks and that cheeky smile. The little boy her body longed for, but her mind feared, proudly standing in the cot, beaming at her with the neediness only a child can give.

‘Mummy!’ it squealed.

Pain gripped her belly. She clenched it for dear life.

Inside her something was growing, kicking and punching her womb, longing to break free of its cage. Ripping open her shirt, she saw her belly expanding; blue veins throbbing and stretch marks burning. Mercilessly it

kept enlarging, stretching her stomach, shoving organs against her diaphragm, turning her body against her.

‘I’m ready!’ smiled the imaginary child, pointing its little finger at her fully pregnant belly.

She screamed as the first contraction ricocheted through her. Water gushed down her legs.

It’s coming….

ENGAGE! In Conversation with the Cast & Crew of STAR TREK: PICARD

Picard

The Star Trek universe welcomes a new television show this year, simply yet unexpectedly titled Picard. To the glee of Trekkies everywhere, Patrick Stewart’s Jean-Luc Picard was announced to return to the screen after a twenty-six-year absence; having originally starred in Star Trek: The Next Generation from 1987 to 1994, and last seen in 2002’s Star Trek: Nemesis, the beloved Starfleet captain (later admiral) is back for at least another two seasons.

STARBURST had the pleasure of sitting down with Picard’s executive producers and creators, Alex Kurtzman, Akiva Goldsman, Michael Chabon, and Kirsten Beyer; Star Trek alumni Jeri Ryan and Jonathan Del Arco, reprising their respective roles as Seven of Nine and Hugh the Borg; newcomers and stars Isa Briones, Michelle Hurd, Evan Evagora and Harry Treadaway; and of course, the man of the hour himself, the legendary Sir Patrick Stewart.

Next Generation has its own fanbase, which almost goes deeper than the broader franchise,” says Akiva Goldsman, “and Jean-Luc Picard is a huge and iconic part of that. So, if one is revisiting Star Trek, one is likely to have a fantasy about it. And in truth, it was little more than a fantasy at first! We were chatting about making a Short Trek, and the pitch was that maybe a young man could be revealed to be a young Picard. And then Alex [Kurtzman] has this tendency to always push you and ask, ‘Why stop there?’.”

And so, the prospective showrunners approached Stewart, hoping he would reprise his role as the iconic Starfleet captain. “For many years, any suggestion that I might revive this role in different formats and contexts, I passed on immediately – straight away and without hesitation,” explains Patrick Stewart. “And not because I wasn’t proud of what we did on Next Generation. I was, and I loved all the people that I worked with very, very much. But I thought I had said and done everything that could be said and done about Jean-Luc, and the Enterprise, and his relationship with the crew and so forth.

Star Trek Picard Penance

 

“But I found myself sitting in front of the producers one day, and they began to talk about the new series in a way that was unexpected. And all I did was listen… And then, I gave a bit of a long speech as to why I was going to turn them down,” he laughs. “That took them a little by surprise. But then they talked some more and went into more detail about the storyline. And when the meeting was over, I asked my agent to contact them, and ask if they could put in writing everything they’d said. Two days later, I got a 35-page pitch. It was undeniably interesting, and it was not going to be like what I had experienced previously. It would be different, a very different world… which appealed to me, because the real world too has changed in the last 19 years.”

Though Picard follows on from the deeply divisive Nemesis, executive producer Kirsten Beyer asserts that this is not course-correction. “It’s not the motivation. Sometimes in the wider universe, the books and all the things like that, stories exist just for that purpose, to work on something that we were uncomfortable with and maybe try to fix it. In this case though, it’s all driven from the character of Picard and elements of his story that still resonate,” like dealing with the aftermath of Data’s (Brent Spiner) death. Interestingly, Picard also appears to follow the canon established by J.J. Abrams’ rebooted film series, in which the planet of Romulus was destroyed.

In the time since passed, these events have led to a dramatic rift between Picard and the Federation, but Michael Chabon is keen to emphasise that the Federation has not become the ‘bad guy’ of the show. “I think that, in spite of the fact that Picard says he can no longer stand behind the Federation, he means something very specific by that. And what has gone wrong with the Federation is exactly the same thing that has gone wrong with Picard: they both made promises which terrible – almost impossible – circumstances forced them to break. It’s a tragic thing. It’s a painful thing. It is something that a governmental entity like the Federation is bound to encounter many times in the course of its history, just like the United States have. Picard will come to reckon with the effects of his having failed to keep the promise that he made.”

The new world in which Picard is set draws parallels with the current political climate, says Stewart. “I thought that they were addressing not only a science fiction story, but the world in its current condition – because it’s bad. It’s really bad. And so, if we can give little nudges to what we all believe about what’s going on…” he trails off. “What I liked about the proposal that Alex and the team made was that the world that we had inhabited, and the world of the Federation had changed. It was no longer the secure, trustworthy, reliable place that it had been. And that was one of the major things that convinced me that I should look seriously at reviving this, and I’m very glad that I did.”

 

The Federation is not the only thing to have dramatically changed, however. The man we reunite with is not the Picard of old. As Isa Briones, who stars as Dahj explains, “something I notice is that, in past iterations of Star Trek and in many sci-fi or superhero genres, we find ourselves looking at this wonderful leader, someone who is perfect. And of course, we do have a wonderful leader in Picard, but I think we’re done seeing stories of that perfect person who can solve everything. We want to see heroes as people, we want to see them be humans and make mistakes. And I think that is what we are bringing into this show. We are seeing the almighty Picard, but he’s retired and he’s unhappy.”

“When we first meet Jean-Luc, he is in poor shape,” says Stewart, but that does not mean that the character we know and love is gone. “Even over the space of the first episode, he undergoes change because of his encounter with Isa’s character. And as the story goes on, we see more of the spirited believer in him, and the transformation that come from being socially conscious and aware of other people.”

Also returning to a well-loved role is Jeri Ryan as Voyager’s Seven of Nine. Similarly to her co-star’s initial reaction, Ryan thought her character’s story was done. “The most interesting part of her, I thought, was her exploration of becoming human again,” states the actress,“and we did that. So I hadn’t given the idea of returning a lot of thought… But when the idea was first broached with me two years ago, once they started explaining where they saw her being twenty years on, I was very intrigued! It was all too interesting to pass up, because she’s been through a lot; she’s seen a lot of really dark, bad stuff over the last two decades, and she’s kind of hardened, she’s a bit more cynical. She’s been working with an independent law and order group, trying to keep some semblance of order in a galaxy that has gone to hell in a handbasket, something for which she holds Starfleet and the Federation very much responsible, and Picard as an extension of that.”

Picard will also reunite with another Borg alum, Hugh (Jonathan Del Arco). Del Arco hints that these last twenty years have not been easy for his character either and that Hugh “has had to make some difficult choices. He’s doing the best he can under the circumstances to keep his people safe and alive. But with that comes some really hard compromises for him that eat at him. He’s in a tough position, trying to figure out how to balance doing the most good at the worst time.”

Alongside Star Trek old-timers comes a slate of new characters, bringing new life and youthful optimism to the somewhat jaded returning characters. As mentioned, Isa Briones plays Dahj, “a really cool young woman who is wonderfully empathetic and caring for other people. She’s starting a new chapter in her life and everything is going great for her, until a tragic incident occurs. And suddenly, she has no idea who she can trust or even if she can trust herself.”

Fans will also meet Elnor, “a young Romulan boy who’s an expert in hand to hand combat,” says Evan Evagora. “He’s pretty good with the sword as well, and he was raised in an all-female sect of warrior nuns.” Harry Treadaway plays another Romulan, though one “from a very, very wealthy family, who is now living on the Borg cube and conducting research there. All is not what it seems,” Treadaway warns, cautious not to let slip too much. Though Star Trek has in the past been accused of embracing a monoculture approach to different species, this is far from the case with these two very different Romulans. “I think trying to apply normality and reality to a show which is intergalactic and bends time and space is a really important thing to do,” Treadaway muses. “Otherwise you lose all anchors. And so everyone’s character, no matter which species they come from, their lives are their own.”

Rounding off the cast of newcomers is Michelle Hurd, who plays Raffi. “She’s a security analyst and a hacking genius. She has a very complicated relationship with the Federation and she worked with Picard back in the day, after Next Gen, and they had a bit of a falling out. She’s haunted by decisions that she’s made in the past and has crutches and vices that she leans on to get through the day.”

Star Trek: Picard season 2 trailer with Sir Patrick Stewart returning as Jean-Luc

 

Picard’s cast was not short on praise for leading man Patrick Stewart, expressing that although joining such an influential franchise was intimidating, Stewart had made them all feel instantly welcome. Del Arco recalls that Stewart and Whoopi Goldberg (who has been invited to return to her role in Season 2) were “like Mum and Dad on the set of Next Gen. They could not have been lovelier, kinder, more gracious or more supportive. Patrick is still that to the cast today. We’re very, very lucky.”

“I would say that when you’re on any kind of production,” says Hurd, “number one basically sets the tone for the entire set. And that man, Patrick Stewart, is just like Picard when he walks on set. He is our leader, and he is a fearless leader. He’s a brave leader. He’s a kind leader. He’s a generous one. He is obsessed and focused on ensemble, he’s playful and self-deprecating, and cheeky and sassy. And sexy, I’m just gonna say it,” she laughs.

If Jean-Luc Picard is still sexy, surely Star Trek: Picard cannot be a complete tonal break from what came before? Some fans have expressed concern that Picard, in reflecting the current socio-political context, will succumb to cynicism and abandon the optimism that defined earlier series. Jeri Ryan reassures that “Star Trek has always reflected the society of its time. This series is continuing in a fine tradition.” Evagora echoes this, stating that “it’s always been Gene Roddenberry’s vision to hold a mirror up to our society through every iteration of Star Trek. That’s what it’s always been, and we just continue that legacy.”

“We can’t help but be influenced by what’s happening in our present day, from paintings to dance, to music and acting,” Hurd explains. “So we are absolutely tackling the discord and divisiveness, and the discomfort that we all feel in our respective countries right now. It’s incredible that it’s ever-present, that it’s happening to all of us. What I love about our writers is that we’re not preaching it; it’s not like sitting down and getting a lesson, but you absolutely are going to see a mirror being held up. And what’s great about our story is that we’re seeking a solution. We’re trying to inject hope, optimism, and emphasising the sanctity, the vulnerability and the preciousness of life and love, and humanity.”

At the end of the day, all anyone appears to want is to preserve Star Trek’s legacy. As co-creator and executive producer Alex Kurtzman puts it, “What I learned from making the first film (Star Trek, 2009) is that the voices of the fans are essential to being a writer on Star Trek, and that processing and metabolising the information that they’re giving us is critical. It’s often uncomfortable, but I think the price of that is worth it. At the end of the day, the fans have kept this show alive for fifty-four years. It doesn’t really belong to anyone except for the fans – and Gene Roddenberry.

“And of course, it’s hard sometimes. But I also think that in equal measure, there’s so much love for it and so much joy and so much ‘thank you for doing this’. I will get letters from people, or people come up to me and they will say ‘Star Trek literally saved my life. This thing that you did saved my life. I was alone. I didn’t have anybody, and I happened to turn on the TV on the one night that I was thinking of killing myself. And it saved my life.’ And when you know that that’s also happening, that any flack you get is really irrelevant because the legacy of the show goes so far beyond me! I’m just a piece of it along the way. This show not only changed people’s lives for the better, but it’s changed history itself. I’ve met astronauts who became astronauts because they love Star Trek, and artists and scientists and writers. This is so much bigger than any one of us. It’s so much bigger. I think we all feel that our job is to protect it to the best of our ability.”

STAR TREK: PICARD airs from January 23rd in the UK on Amazon Prime Video, and CBS All Access in the States. For our review of episodes 1 – 3, read HERE.

Interview With Sarah Cawkwall


The Black Library are best known for producing tie-in fiction connected to the Warhammer and Warhammer 40,000 settings. They are also gaining a reputation for seeking out and encouraging fresh talent, and one of their most recent and interesting finds is North-East of England based writer Sarah Cawkwell. Despite having only one novel out, her short stories for Warhammer anthology magazine Hammer and Bolter have already gained her a healthy fan-following amongst the Black Library fandom. Starburst caught up with her to find out about her debut novel and any other projects she may have coming soon.

Starburst: The Gildar Rift was your debut novel and was very well received by connoisseurs of Warhammer 40,000 fiction. What was your biggest challenge when writing it, and what would you have done different?

Sarah Cawkwell: The biggest challenge really came from the fact that until The Gildar Rift, I’d only ever written short stories with a maximum length of 10,000 words or so. Keeping a lively pace and ensuring that momentum kept happening was an interesting challenge and one which I enjoyed very much. Funnily enough, I wrote two novels essentially back-to-back and then a short story. When that happened, I found it hard to get my head out of the epic novel-length scale!

What I would have done differently… hmm. There’s a few things that I’d change in hindsight, but ultimately, the book is what it is. People seem to be enjoying it. My primary goal as an author is to write stories that people enjoy reading. On that scale, mission very much accomplished.

Your next book, Valkia The Bloody, comes out it in June. We understand it features Khorne, The Blood God. What else can you tell us about it?

It’s the rise and fall and rise again of a very strong female character, one of the few in the Warhammer universe.

Valkia is the daughter of kings; a warrior queen born to a conquering tribe. When she takes the leadership, she leads her people to many wars. Such bloody activity brings her to the attention of Khorne and she swears to travel to the Chaos Wastes to serve him better. On the way, all sorts of things try to slow her down and stop her, but she does not waver… until the ultimate betrayal that sees her fall within sight of her goal.

Khorne’s a bit angry about this, as you can imagine, and he gives her a second chance at life, only this Valkia is the new and improved version. And you can bet your bottom dollar that she’s out for retribution.

Fun and hi-jinx ensue.

Was writing Valkia The Bloody much different from writing The Gildar Rift?

Totally different. Having written one novel, the process of writing the second came much more naturally. In terms of writing style, I found that I had to adjust my tone considerably. Space Marines speak very formally and there was not much call for that here.

I grew up reading mostly fantasy books and to write within a world that is so dark and gritty was an absolute pleasure.

Before you became a professional author, you were very involved with the online fiction writing community, and you still maintain a very strong online presence. What are your thoughts how the internet and e-books affects the modern author?

The Internet and the modern author are unlikely bedfellows. In some respects, it’s great that people can have the chance to talk to their favourite authors, to ask them questions, to read their blogs and so forth. In others, it takes away some of the element of mystery. It can also be quite disconcerting to suddenly have 500 Twitter followers instead of the 100 or so that you had originally. Disconcerting, but very flattering as well.

As for e-books… well, I’m one of those people who is very much on the fence. I’m a technophile, certainly. But for my money, nothing beats the feel and weight of a book in your hand… that delicious new book smell and that wonderful feeling you get from selecting a book off the shelf. I understand why people like e-readers and I see their convenience… but I think it’s sad in a way as well. I don’t own one and have no immediate plans to do so.

I do think it’s a great way of opening up literature – particularly the now-freely available classics – to a wider audience and that’s a good thing. But it also widens the possibility for piracy, something which is just as rife in the publishing industry as it is in the other arts.

Definitely on the fence.

If you were stranded on a desert island and could only have one book for company, what would that book be? (Let’s assume you’ve had ‘surviving on a desert island’ training.)

The Three Musketeers by Alexandre Dumas. It’s been my favourite book for almost as long as I can remember. Also, in light of the previous question, at least I wouldn’t have to worry about my battery life…

What inspires you?

Film and game music. Whenever I’m writing, I load up iTunes and tune into Streaming Soundtracks. My dad is heavily into film music and so I developed an unconscious love of it as well. Some of it can be so massively atmospheric. At least one scene in The Gildar Rift was born off the back of hearing a particular piece of music. It can paint such vivid pictures.

My son definitely inspires me. He’s one of those young people who can offer up the most surprisingly mature advice at times (example: Me – ‘I’m thinking of getting an iPad’. Him – ‘But you already have an iPhone. What can an iPad do that it can’t? Save your money.’)

It’s a good job he’s here.

What fictional worlds do you find the most interesting?

Ohhh… loads. The Warhammer universe obviously; they’re so rich and delicious. One of my favourite series when I was growing up was the Dragonlance saga – so the world of Krynn is another source of inspiration. Jim Butcher’s Chicago as seen through Dresden’s eyes… and the insect-populated world of Adrian Tchaikovsky’s Shadows of the Apt series.

In terms of tie-in type worlds… Star Wars, Doctor Who, Stargate, Farscape… so much potential. So little time.

If you got the chance to write for one of those, what would it be?

Doctor Who, definitely.

Tom Baker or Matt Smith?

Tom Baker. I grew up with Tom Baker as my Doctor. I like Matt Smith; I think he brings a fun Troughton-esque style vagabond element to the character, but for me, I’ll always have the Pyramids of Mars.

Robert Downey Junior or Benedict Cumberbatch?

Benedict Cumberbatch. I enjoy RDJ in the films, but perhaps it’s the creeping whisper of ‘BUT HE’S AMERICAN!’ that puts me off. Mind, Benedict Cumberbatch makes me confused. He’s oddly attractive, being (as a friend put it yesterday), a gangly, arachnoid sex-bomb.

So I like spiders. Great.

The Simpsons or Futurama?

Futurama. The Simpsons stopped being funny years ago.

Tweenies or Teletubbies?

Tweenies. The Teletubbies were just before my son’s time, so I’m far more familiar with the Tweenies. And Bob the Builder. And Bear in the Big Blue House

Truth or Beauty?

Truth. Beauty is like cake. It is a lie.

‘Valkia the Bloody’ is published by Games Workshop Ltd and will be released June 26th

Kevin Smith | JAY AND SILENT BOB REBOOT

Kevin Smith

As Kevin Smith’s heartfelt ‘n’ hilarious Jay and Silent Bob Reboot gets set to hit home release, we caught up with this major genre fave to discuss his latest movie, his decision to revisit the View Askewniverse world of characters, making Reboot a sequel to all of his previous VA pictures, how he reconnected with Ben Affleck, his advice for 21-year-old Kevin Smith, and what lies ahead for Clerks III and Mallrats 2.

STARBURST: Firstly, as fans of the View Askewniverse and its array of characters, thank you for making this movie.

Kevin Smith: Oh my goodness, thank you for watching it. I’ve been on the road with it, on the Reboot road tour. We’ve done New Jersey, Chicago, Detroit, Grand Rapids. Every audience is full of hardcore fans. It’s not just a movie crowd going, “Hey, what’s playing this week?” It’s people who grew up with these movies, who know the dialogue and the characters. Watching it with them every night, it’s like being basked in absolute adulation. It’s so lovely. The movie is made for that audience. Chiefly, it’s made for me, as I’m the biggest Kevin Smith fan. But if you’re a Kevin Smith fan, this movie is made for you. It’s a dream come true for me.

The last time we saw this world in live-action was back in 2006 with Clerks II, so how long has this film been gestating for?

It’s something we’ve been trying to do for three years as Reboot, but technically this goes back five years to when I was trying to make Clerks III. Then that didn’t happen, so I was just, “Wait, we’re gonna make Mallrats 2.” When that didn’t happen, I was a little frustrated so just thought, “Why don’t we work smarter not harder?” We own Jay and Silent Bob, me and Jay, and we want to do it, so let’s pursue Jay and Silent Bob Reboot. And in that, I started doing sequels to everything else. I felt like it was the only View Askew movie I was going to get to make, so I put a Clerks sequel in there, I put a Mallrats sequel in there, a Chasing Amy sequel in there, and a Dogma sequel in there. For me, it was like, “Let me take the best parts of the two projects that I couldn’t make happen, throw them into this as starter courses, and see what comes of it.” Jason Mewes being a dad, that really put us on the right track. He’s been a dad for about four and a half years, and he’s this amazing father. You wouldn’t think it, because he’s this guy you wouldn’t trust with a carton of eggs, let alone a human being, let alone one that’s tiny and fragile. He turns out to be the greatest dad I’ve ever seen, including myself in the equation, including my father.

I was a parent who was like, “Don’t fall off that, you’re going to get hurt.” I was protecting the kid, keeping her out of harm’s way. Jason has a relationship with the kid where they relate to one another. It’s weird because he’s 45 and she’s four, but it’s this really beautiful dynamic. As I watched it, I was, “Go figure. The guy turns out to be the most adept at nurturing. Imagine what his character would be like. If Jason’s a great dad, what would Jay be like?” I started thinking in that direction, but it was, “I’m not going to give him a child, but giving him a long-lost daughter with Justice from the first movie…” It just started to click. We were making a comedy equal to Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back, and the premise I would tell anyone was, “This is movie that makes fun of reboots, remakes, and sequels, while being all three at the same time. This is literally the same movie all over again.” Secretly, we were building a real movie. It starts off exactly like Strike Back and gets us on the road, and then about 25 minutes in we show our hand – and the real story is here’s this dude who finds out he’s got this long-lost daughter.

JAY AND SILENT BOB REBOOT

For those maybe expecting plenty of chuckles – of which there are many – there’s also a strong sense of poignancy to the picture, too.

It’s funny throughout, but it takes on these weird, touching moments. Not that we’ve not got nostalgia all over the place – so if you’re aching for the ‘90s, you’re well serviced by this movie – but at the same time all of us are getting older. I’m 49, I’ve had a family. Most of the people who like this stuff have kinda grown up with me and can identify, because they’ve got kids, too. So suddenly this storyline is more affecting than just, “We’re doing the same movie”.

Post-heart attack, it took on an even bigger significance. When the doctor was like, “You have an 80% chance of dying tonight.” I was laying there and examining my life, and I was happy, I was content. I was, “Well, if it ends tonight it’s my fault because I used to drink two gallons of milk a day, so fuck me.” I’d had a great life, a great wife, a great kid, great parents, great friends. To me, it was just, “If it ends, it ends. Be grateful and graceful.” In that pool of zen, suddenly I was hit by the only regret that I had as I shuffled towards the grave – which was, “If I die tonight, Yoga Hosers is the last movie I ever make!” Suddenly, I had to live. Jay and Silent Bob Reboot was so close, and I was, “Man, that would be the one to go out on, because that really encapsulates my entire career.” The doc saved me, thank the Lord, and I went to work double-time on a) getting Reboot made, but b) making it even more substantial. I was like, “Look, my dad had two heart attacks. The first put him on warning, and the second one took him out.” I apparently have my dad’s heart, but my mom’s heart has got a bunch of stents in it as well. So I could change my life and eating habits and my health and lifestyle, which I did when I went vegan and lost a bunch of weight, but at the end of the day I’m at the mercy of genetics.

There’s a part of me that’s thinking if my dad had two and the second one took him out, then if I had another one then maybe it’s the second one that takes me out. I want to have something that I leave behind that’s, “This is what I thought about all of it. Life, movies, being a person. This is the stuff that mattered to me.” I kept referring to the movie as, “This is one big cinematic gravestone.” To me, it’s “Here lies Kevin Smith. This is what he did.” The movie really encapsulated this. I’m done with it and I love it to death, but I haven’t died yet, which really fucks with the plan. Now, everything I do I have to pour in this like, “Well this could be the last thing now! It has to mean something!” I’m working on Masters of the Universe for Netflix, and people are like, “Bro, it’s Skeletor. It can’t mean that much,” and I’m just, “No, it has to say something about who I am!!!”

The movie’s taken that dimension as well, post-heart attack. I wear my heart on my sleeve, but I’ve just flat-out ripped off the sleeve and just put the heart on my arm. The movie’s just one giant, beating heart, while still being this dirty little movie. It has one of my favourite cum jokes that I’ve ever made in my entire life, the one that Jay makes in the third act. You should see it play with an audience – it’s religious, dude! Every night I watch it with the audience, I feel so clever. I’m like, “Oh, all the stuff I wrote years ago, it turns out it worked.” Then I feel clever because I designed this tour, so that I get to go and watch this movie with an audience that loves it, who it was made for, 63 dates in a row. Sometimes there’s three shows a night, sometimes it’s one show a night. And I watch it! It’s not even like I watch 10 minutes then go outside to smoke. I love watching it with the audience. This is what it’s all about for me. As a filmmaker, you dream about putting the movie up on the silver screen like the movies you saw when you were a kid. If you’re the Avengers, you get a month at the box office. If you’re Kevin Smith, you barely get a weekend. You get a day before it all collapses and falls apart, because I don’t appeal to a mainstream audience. Early in my career, I’d watch the box office on Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. That’s how we spent opening weekend, rather than, “Holy shit, we did it! We made a fucking movie, we did something very few people in this world will ever do!” Instead, we were always focussed on how much the movie made, who was going, how we could get more people to go. This part of the process, developing the approach of “I’m just going to take it out myself…” anybody could do this. [David] Fincher could do it, Spike Lee could do it, Quentin [Tarantino] could do it. Quentin kinda did do it when he toured The Hateful Eight. You just have to be willing to spend the time doing it. For me, making the movie is great, but enjoying the movie with the audience? That’s why I made it! I want to be in the room and hear them react and see whether I got things right and whether it worked. I jerry-rigged the system for myself. Now that we’re living in that model, it’s so gratifying to me as I don’t have an opening weekend anymore and I don’t have that one day. I got 62 days where every time I walk in that theatre I feel fantastic. The dream literally comes true. It used to be, “Oh man, theatrical fell apart. I hope home video works.” Home video would work out for us, but this, doing it this way, I have loved it. It’s a little frustrating for some people who just want to go and watch it in a movie theatre, but we’ve tried to tailor it that way so that wherever we tour the movie, the movie then opens behind us.

JAY AND SILENT BOB REBOOT

You’ve toured several of your movies now, but did this one feel a little more personal due to how it was a return to a world that people have been invested in for over two decades?

The aim here – and it’s nice to make money, don’t get me wrong – is to just sit here and enjoy this movie with everybody. Again, I’m the world’s biggest Kevin Smith fan, but being in a room of other Kevin Smith fans, I’m right there with them. When they laugh at every old reference, I’m just, “Right?!” I was hoping that if I just referenced the C.L.I.T. terrorist organisation from Strike Back that it would get a massive reaction!” If you just took this movie and put it in a normal theatre, it’s not the same experience. These screenings that we do are distinctly in my favour, the tables are titled, and I get to enjoy it. Every night so far, it’s been 1,500 people who were there for me from 1994 and they come out. It’s so beautiful and cathartic and fun. I sit there going, “Why would I ever do it any other way?” Jordan, who runs our company, who’s married to Jason, is just, “Look, next movie we’re not doing this tour stuff. Let’s get it to a place where they release it like they release other movies.” I’m just, “You don’t get it. I’ve been doing this for 25 years now. I don’t wanna do it that way, it’s fucking wasteful.” It’s one thing to spend millions of dollars, but then to spend double whatever you spend to just sell the movie to people and let them know it’s coming… we’ve got social media, man! Anybody that gives a fuck about Kevin Smith will find out about it from Kevin Smith, and that way we don’t have to spend that money. I love it, because it feels good and the movie works. Even when we toured Yoga Hosers, it was fun, but it didn’t work like gangbusters like this one does. And it spoils me to the point of, “Well, maybe this is the way that I want to do it forever.”

I love this world and model. For me, it’s insanely gratifying. It’s also economical. We haven’t spent anything in marketing, which means the money that comes in is real money. It’s fun, and it puts me at ground level with the folks – which is what I’m in it for, man. I don’t do this so that I can sit in Hollywood and hear from somebody how the movie did. I make these things for the same reason I did in the beginning. I just want to share it with people and hear what they think. Whether you like it or not, it’s all about expression. For a while, the movie business often became about the business. Now I look to square away the business right away so we can just concentrate on the self-expression and the joy, man.

Clearly Reboot relies on a level of nostalgia initially, but how was it for you to balance that nostalgia and the greatest hits element whilst also allowing this fresh story to breathe?

It’s weird, because when I watch the movie I’m like, “It’s not really a reboot, it’s not a remake, it’s not a sequel. It’s a requel!” We’re following up on breadcrumbs and storylines that were established years ago, and adding another generation. It’s very much the J.J. Abrams Star Wars reboot, where it’s, “Hey, here’s your legacy cast, but then here’s your new kids.” Finding the balance was tricky, and I was always scared of the new kid. I knew anyone coming to Jay and Silent Bob anything know what to expect, but then you’re going to introduce them to the next generation. When I made Yoga Hosers with Harley [Quinn Smith], some cats were really shitty about it. Then I was worried on some level that there’d be backlash towards Harley about this, so I was cautious about how to balance it out, how much old stuff to include in there, and how much new stuff to include. As I watch the movie with people, every night there’s still this moment like a trapeze act – where I’m waiting to swing from one bar to the next, and there’s this moment between bars where I’m like, “I could fucking fall and faceplant! This whole thing could die!” Really, I just got lucky with the blend, man. I did ten drafts of the script. This script was my best friend for three years. Whenever I was sad, lonely, happy, looking for something to do, bored, I would always turn to the script. It was like, “You know what, I’m gonna dive back into Jay and Silent Bob Reboot and maybe tighten the screws, maybe add a few more parts.” For a goofy-ass movie, it had the benefit of me drafting draft after draft. Even right up until production, the Ben [Affleck] scene didn’t come into the movie until way late. I didn’t include that in the first draft because I hadn’t spoken to Affleck in almost a decade – so I wasn’t going to presume to put him into the flick. That whole scene, the Holden and Chasing Amy 2 scene, was written in the last week of production of the movie and shot on the absolute last day. It was not a part of proceedings when we got started, and never in the back of my mind was I, “Man, I hope Ben decides to make the movie.”

JAY AND SILENT BOB REBOOT

Given the significance of Ben’s presence in the film, it’s nearly impossible to think of the movie without that scene being included.

We were making the movie without Ben, and when you think about the movie and you think about that scene, you’re just like, “What would’ve been the fucking point without that scene?” That scene really sums everything up. Like any good situation or any good thing that’s ever happened to me, so much of it just contained luck and timing. The luck of Ben being interviewed about Triple Frontier, the movie on Netflix, and Kevin McCarthy was interviewing him and said, “Hey, have they called you about Reboot yet,” and Ben saying, “No, they haven’t. And I’m not busy.” That started the spark. Jason was like, “You have to reach out to him,” and I was just, “You’re out of your mind. He didn’t mean it, that’s just some shit you say at the junket. What’s he supposed to say – fuck Kevin Smith?” So I didn’t call him, I didn’t reach out. Jason and Jordan [Monsanto – SModCo executive and Jason’s wife] kept bugging me about it and going, “It might be a coded message, man. He might be wanting to reach out to you.” Finally I thought, “You know what? I’ll shut you guys up, I’ll fucking Tweet him.” Jordan said not to Tweet him as it was so fucking impersonal, and that I should text him. I text him saying, “This you?”, and he said, “This me, who’s this?” and I said, “Who you?”, he was just like, “I’m BA, I’m your father.” Right there, I knew it was him as that’s the type of shit we’d say, so he asked who I was. I text back, “The conversation might end right now, KS.” Then he writes back, “Kevin?” and I was just, “Yeah.” It just started this thing with, “Hey man, how are you? We’re having a blast from the past down in New Orleans making Jay and Silent Bob Reboot, and we wish you were here. Since the heart attack, I don’t wish anymore, I just ask. So will you come and play with us? It would be amazing, we would have such a good time, and I quote the good king Osric from Conan the Barbarian when I say, ‘There comes a time, thief, when the jewels cease to sparkle, the gold loses its lustre, the throne room becomes a prison, and all an old director wants is to make pretend with his old friend’.”

I waited for a response, which didn’t come for five minutes, and I thought my stoner heart on my sleeve had scared him off. Then he wrote the most Ben thing I could imagine when he replied, “It’s so telling that you still think of yourself as the king.” Happy accidents like that, man. If Kevin McCarthy doesn’t ask that question, that doesn’t happen. That scene in the script is represented by a one-line moment where Jay and Bob are running around ChronicCon, and Jay looks over and sees a dad dressed like Silent Bob putting a lanyard around the neck of a little girl dressed like Jay. Jay would’ve looked at Silent Bob and said, “I haven’t been there for Milly her whole life, Silent Bob.” Because we got lucky, I got an eight-page scene where I got to sequalise Chasing Amy. I got to write a one-page monologue for Ben that he knocked out of the park. We get to make Batman/Bruce Wayne jokes, for heaven’s sake, and he gets to deadpan at the camera about Martha. All of this was a gift. None of it planned, nothing to do with creative genius, it was all luck and fucking timing, man. That’s the magic of the movies, that’s the one ingredient you can’t plan for.

These days, Kevin Smith is a filmmaker who’s been doing this for 25 years, who’s got 13 full features under his belt, has written comics for Batman, Green Arrow, Spider-Man, Daredevil, who’s the healthiest he’s ever been, who got to become friends with Stan Lee, who for better or worse got to work with Bruce Willis, and who saw Ben Affleck become Batman. What advice would this Kevin give to the Kevin who made Clerks in 1994?

Wow, what a great question. I don’t know if I have advice for that kid. I’m gonna get emotional. I don’t think I’ve got advice for that kid. I would love to go back and thank him. It was just so uncharacteristic of him to be like, “I’m gonna make a movie.” It was the weirdest fucking decision of that kid’s life. I grew up with that kid, I know exactly who he is, and everything leading up to that moment did not point to that. So in a completely uncharacteristic moment, that 21-year-old kid made a decision that made the rest of my life so much fucking better. I get to be Kevin Smith. To some people, it’s like, “Why’s that cool?” It really works out for me. It’s been absolutely amazing. When people meet you, they meet a friend. I’ve seen people where their face lights up when they meet you. It’s not like, “Oh, look at this piece of shit I’ve gotta deal with.” No, they’re happy to see you. And all that happened because that kid made a choice, because that kid was like, “Yeah, I think I can do this.” And he couldn’t. He didn’t have the wherewithal, he didn’t have the experience. I don’t know how the fuck he pulled it off, except that he was surrounded by friends who were like, “Alright, let’s give it a shot.” So if I could go back in time, I would thank the shit out of that kid. I’d be, “You have no idea how fucking brave you are. It’s going to change everything. It’s going to change your family. You’re going to have a kid because of this stupid fucking decision you made. One day, you’re going to put your hands in the cement at the Chinese Theatre in Hollywood because of the decision that you made. So thanks, motherfucker.” Believe me, I got no advice for that kid. That kid knew exactly what he was doing in that moment of time. I could use some fucking advice from him, I can tell you that much.

JAY AND SILENT BOB REBOOT

To circle back to Reboot as we wrap up, Reboot is a perfect ending for this universe but you’ve got Clerks III now announced. What can we expect from that, and are there still any plans for a Mallrats sequel?

The good folks at Universal, who were the other half of this equation with Saban Films, thanks to them we had money to make the movie. I think they were very brave to actually throw in, and there was a lot of sentimentality as to why they liked Jay and Silent Bob. There was no real reason for this movie to be made – it’s not like this is a Fast & Furious movie that’s going to print money. This one was made by the skin of our teeth, and the folks at Universal are a big part of that. So they were like, “What do you wanna do next?” I was just, “Well, I wanted to do Mallrats 2, and that’s how we got to Jay and Silent Bob Reboot. You guys have Mallrats. If we could do that, it’d be amazing if Jay and Silent Bob Reboot was the doorway to the two movies that we couldn’t make before that led to Jay and Silent Bob Reboot.” It would reverse engineer the process. They just asked me to do a two-pager, so it looks like we could be doing Mallrats 2. Then two weeks after that, I met with Jeff Anderson to talk about making Clerks III. I told him that we wouldn’t do the old script that we were gonna do, because it was just too morbid. I’ve got this new idea that I wanna do, and I need Jeff, I can’t do this without him.

I saw the Michelle Williams speech where she won an Emmy recently, and she talked about how she won her award because she could do her job because she was not worried about being paid less. And payment was a big part of what went wrong with Clerks III. So I told Jeff, “Look man, we will find the number that makes you feel comfortable, validated, and what makes you feel like you can just step onto the set and do the magic that you do.” It went very well, and he asked me about the story. I told him, “The story of Clerks III is Randall has a heart attack at the top of the movie. In recovery, he tells Dante about how he has nothing to show for his life. He has no spouse, he has no kids, he has nothing. All he did was sit around and watch people’s movies his entire life, and now there’s not much life left. Goddammit, I’m gonna make a movie about my life.” So he recruits Dante, and Randall and Dante make the story of his life. Essentially, they make Clerks but it’s called Inconvenience. We bring everything right back to the beginning, and I get to tell all the stories of the making of Clerks, of the true characters who made it possible. I’ll be honest with you, this is the one I’m actually going to try to win an award with. You can’t plan for that sort of thing, but it’s a really strong, wonderful script. I feel like, “Alright, it’s been a while since I’ve ever shown interest in getting validated by my peers and stuff, but I feel like this one could be it.” I feel like this could be the script that gets a few nods or something like that, so I’m amped to do it. It’s weird, because I haven’t cared about that shit for so fucking long. I love the story so much. Maybe if you love it as much as you do, you should put some more skin in the game. Never mind protecting yourself, just put yourself out there, man. Clerks was a movie that won a couple of awards when I started my career. I ain’t gonna win those awards anymore because those awards were more, “Hey, where’d this guy come from?!” I’ve got 25 years of experience now, so maybe there’s a way for me to win an award like my other peers do. I guess it’s a weird way of saying I’m gonna try really hard with Clerks III.

Jay and Silent Bob Reboot is released on Blu-ray and DVD January 20th – and you can find our review of the movie here.

An abridged version of this interview appeared in STARBURST Magazine #467 to mark Kevin’s UK tour of Jay and Silent Bob Reboot.

JAY AND SILENT BOB REBOOT

STAR TREK: PICARD Red Carpet Report

Picard

STARBURST Magazine was invited to the Gala Premiere of Amazon Prime’s new show, Star Trek Picard. The fans and press braved the cold January weather to come see the stars of this latest addition to Star Trek pantheon. We were also given red-carpet access to talk to the stars (though the carpet was not red; this is Star Trek after all, you don’t want to be caught wearing red!).

The star of the evening was, of course, Sir Patrick Stewart, who arrived with his wife, Sunny Ozell, as well as his close personal friend, Sir Ian McKellan. Sir Patrick told those attending the screening “It is so rewarding to be here tonight. I know that I’m on record as saying no, no more Star Trek, I said goodbye to that. And then this. They talked to me about Star Trek in a way that I never imagined it. I began to realise it was something I had to do. And what a smart decision that was. As we wrapped filming, I was as happy with what we had done as anything else I had done in my career. To me, I look on this as a reward.

SIR PATRICK STEWART introduces episode 1 of STAR TREK: PICARD

Also on the carpet was another Star Trek legend, Seven of Nine actress Jeri Ryan. We asked her why she felt Star Trek was still so popular after all these years: “I think it’s a hopeful vision of what humanity could become and what we could do, and I think that is what Star Trek has always been and has always represented.” She had enjoyed reprising the role of Seven of Nine “It was amazing and terrifying. Any character you bring back twenty years later, there’s going to be pressure. There’s a lot of pressure to do it right and be faithful to the character. But I was in good hands, Jonathan Frakes, who is also a good friend, directed my first two episodes and it was fantastic.

JERI RYAN

Last time most of our readers saw Harry Treadaway, he was playing the role of Frankenstein in Penny Dreadful. In Picard, he plays the Romulan, Narek. We caught up with him and asked him what it was like to walk onto the set of Picard. “Very different from the streets of gas-lit Victorian London. But as fully realised, as creative and as wonderful. It’s a real honour to be part of something that was created so long ago and comes from such a good place and a good heart.

The reason we are all here is because of Patrick Stewart and some of the characters in that Next Generation world. I think that’s a good base for a TV show and something we could all do more of. It’s an honour to be part of something with such a heritage, be it a kid from the ’60s who saw a multi-racial cast for the first time or a kid in a country with troubles going on, you see something you can relate to. It’s a really beautiful thing.

HARRY TREADAWAY

Isa Briones is new to Star Trek and plays one of Picard’s main characters, the mysterious Dahj. She told us about her first day on set: “It was wild. This is really my first anything on TV. Just seeing Patrick Stewart. When you see the trailer, when she takes off her hood, that was the first scene I ever did. He was that safe space for me.” When we asked her about what Star Trek means to her, she told us “It’s about hope. It’s an optimistic view of the future. We can see a better future and are willing to work for it.”

ISA BRIONES

We were also surprised (and delighted) to see Star Trek Discovery actor Jason Isaacs. We asked him what he was doing on the red carpet, and he was very happy to tell us. “I’m here because it’s a night out and I’m desperate to see Picard. A lot of the same crew and directors worked on it. They tell me that it’s magnificent and that Patrick does extraordinary work in it. So I got a ticket, and there’s apparently free food. Actors will go anywhere there’s free food.” Of course, we also asked what Star Trek meant to him: “When I think about the genesis of the series and all the series over the years, it’s hope. It’s message to all mankind, probably never more needed than now that we can do better and that we should never give up aspiring to do better.” We had to ask if we’re going to ever see him in Star Trek again. Mr Isaacs winked and said, “That’s a question, isn’t it!” We’ll take that as a solid maybe.

JASON ISAACS

Those lucky enough to be allowed in were treated to a full cinema showing of the first episode of the new series, as well as a drink, some popcorn and a Star Trek badge. Watch this space for our review of the new show…

 

STAR TREK: PICARD, which will be released on Amazon Prime Video in the UK and CBS All Access in the US, and will be released in both territories on January 23rd.

Photos by: Kenneth Whyte

Issue 469 – Out Now!

469 ns

In the latest issue of STARBURST, we look forward to the return to the big screen of Margot Robbie’s Cupid of Crime in Birds of Prey And the Fantabulous Emancipation of One Harley Quinn. Find out all you need to know about the character and what to expect from the film.

We have an array of exclusive interviews to bring in the New Year, including Robert Eggers illuminating us about The LighthouseGeorge Takei talking Trek and his graphic novel They Called Us EnemyRichard Stanley on capturing H. P. Lovecraft’s Colour Out of Space, the legendary Takashi Miike tells all about his latest movie First Love, the showrunners of Netflix’s much-anticipated Locke & Key adaptation fill us in on what to expect, and anime legend Makoto Shinkai talks Weathering With You.

Get the lowdown on Vin Diesel’s new movie Bloodshot, and learn the history of Sonic the Hedgehog ahead of his big screen debut.

Plus Horror Obscura looks at the remake of Cabin Fever, and Independents Day profiles the team behind the production company Rodeax

Plus all your favourite COLUMNS, NEWS, REVIEWS and much MORE from the worlds of SCI-FI, HORROR and FANTASY!

Hack To The Future: Iron Mars

Transmission date: 13/01/

What a load of crap.

No, wait. It’s a New Year. We should start off on a more positive note. Let’s start again.

HI! How are you? Did you have a good holiday season? Excellent. That’s great to hear!

Me? I was forced to sit through a load of crap over the holiday weekend. Thanks very much.

(See? Isn’t that better? Festive, that’s me.)

The movie I speak of is the latest Rick Axe blockbuster gagfest, IRON MARS. Please buckle your seatbelts, kids. There’s so very much wrong with this film that it makes me want to weep.

Most you know I am not an Axe fan… in my humble opinion, he is to movies what ebola is to a healthy body. Still… I try to give everyone a clean slate when I sit down to view the final product. I work for the benefit of the doubt. Most of the time, I do not even look at who the directors are before sitting to watch. However, Axe’s style is so… let’s call it Distinctive… that any pretense of anonymity was shattered early on.

I didn’t make it fifteen minutes. Spoilers ahead. You have been warned.

Let’s start with the biggest disappointment: the plot. The gist of it is this: the year is 2061, and Aerodyne, a private space travel company, has launched their first transit ship to Mars. Upon achieving Mars orbit, they are fired upon and brought down. They crash on the planet’s surface and are forced to don space suits and walk across the surface of the red planet, seeking the part of their ship that contains the inflatable biodome, else they will run out of air.

The astronauts (played by Leonardo DiCaprio, Hilary Swank, Rebecca McIntyre, and Kimbo N’fume) trek across the frozen landscape, seeking their life support module. Soon, they come upon the red, white and black flag of the Third Reich flying above a low rise of hills. When they get closer, they find series of caves leading deep within the crust of planet. And in those caves, the last remnants of the Nazis that fled Earth in 1945.

Normally, I would find this to be an irresistible hook. It is a brilliant premise, and could be a lot of fun in the right hands. Sadly, it is so similar to a plot that has been floating around the internet for years that I cannot help but feel that the producers of this film got lazy and ripped off the original creators. I know, I know, this is hardly a surprise… it happens all the time. Still… to have it be so obvious is simply insulting to the audience.

The cast is the second disappointment. It is always a sad thing to see stellar actors give mediocre performances. There are directors and producers who believe that loading up a bad script with great actors will save a film. On occasion, it works. More often, the poor quality of the script winds up dragging down the performance of the actors. The upshot is that you can have Leonardo DiCaprio and Hilary Swank head the cast of your science fiction blockbuster, but if they have a crap script and lousy direction to work with, the result will be a film that barely holds the attention of anyone looking for credible storytelling.

That leads us to the third disappointment: the audience. Sitting in the theatre, I was so very disappointed by the looks of joy and bliss on people’s faces as they watched this movie. Very little story, pitiful acting, yet the crowds ate it up with a spoon the size of a shovel. Flashy explosions, slow-motion effects… these keep the masses happy. Axe knows that, and he dishes it up in spades.

I know this is a rant, but to paraphrase some historical figure who’s name I cannot recall, we get the entertainment that we deserve. If this film is any way to gauge what is to come, the future of American-made Film is a string of huge explosions interspersed with random gunfire backed by the days greatest heavy metal hits. Why, oh why do we not demand better from Hollywood? No, instead we will sit in our chairs while people who should know better peddle the vulgar and the banal to us, and we’ll happily pay for the privilege.

This movie will make millions. It will deserve far, far less.

That’s all the bile I can muster for this month. Next month, we’ll look at what might be the great hope for the soul of entertainment, the cyberdrama from Jade Dragon Productions out of Shanghai: Tea With Lemongrass. Until then, you can find me in all the usual places, email, Qlatch, or even the antiquated Facebook. Until next time, take care of yourself, and watch out for those Nazis.

5 Reasons to Visit Marseille in 2020

For most Americans, the allure of a visit to France means Paris: The Eiffel Tower, the Louvre, the Champs Elysees. A short drive from Paris you might visit the Palace of Versailles. Exploration of France ends there, which is a shame because the capital is not all there is to see. The South of France is a favored destination of European travelers seeking warmer weather, unspoiled countryside, and awe-inspiring monuments.

The jewel in the crown of southern France and the country’s second biggest city is undoubtedly worth a visit: Marseille.

Marseille Vieux Port

Even if you only have one day, Marseille is worth visiting just to see the Old Port. The Phoenicians were the first to visit Marseille, founding it while Rome was still a small kingdom in Central Italy. Marseille has been in constant occupation for some 2,500 years and it’s not difficult to see why. The city and its port are and always have been great for Mediterranean trade and its wealth. Finally, you’re not visiting Marseille port properly unless you go to a fish market or sit at a harborside café with a coffee or a beer and watched the sunset.

Notre Dame de la Garde

Visiting Marseille is incomplete for a history buff without visiting the city’s most iconic building: the church. From an imposing hillside overlooking the harbor, Marseille is worth visiting for lovers of this era of church architecture. Translating into English as “Our Lady of the Guard” it’s a Catholic Basilica and the city’s most dominant ecclesiastical building. It’s impossible to miss from the Vieux Port and many a tourist have walked to the church after a morning browsing the port.

Boat Trip to “Count of Monte Cristo Island”

Its real name is Frioul Archipelago but many people visiting Marseille are curious about the real d’If island setting of one of Alexandre Dumas’ greatest work. Marseille is worth visiting for this trip alone which allows you to see the full coastal port from the water. Be amazed as the boat recedes and then watch in amazement again as the imposing Château d’If comes into view, dominating the tiny island. Once a fortress then later a prison, visit Marseille for the best chance to see these islands.

Visit Marseille for Great Beaches

If a beach day is a novelty for you because you live far from the coast, Marseille is worth visiting. It presents the perfect chance to bathe in warm Mediterranean waters, especially on a hot summer day. They are not as popular as some other French coastal resorts like Nice, but this makes them quieter. The two main beaches are the child centered Plage de Prado and the quieter Corniche Kennedy. Kennedy is a bit farther away, perfect if it’s quiet reflection and near solitude you need away from the busy city.

Visiting Marseille as an Art Lover

Thanks to its Napoleonic and more recent history, the city is an art-lover’s paradise. Visit Marseille for the famous MUCEM, a repository of contemporary French art in a stunning, trendy building. If modern is not your thing, try the Musée des Beaux Arts for some 16th to 19th century art. If that isn’t quite enough, maybe it’s time to step outside. Visiting Marseille isn’t complete until you’ve seen some of the city’s stunning green spaces such as Parc Borély or the seafront’s small but lovely Parc Valmer.

Marseille is worth visiting for many reasons and this is just a handful.

Image: awisee.com

[ENDED] Win IT CHAPTER TWO on 4K Steelbook

win it

OWN IT ON DIGITAL DOWNLOAD  NOW, AND 4K STEELBOOK, 4K UHD, BLU-RAY™ AND DVD ON JANUARY 13th

Pennywise wreaks terror on Derry once again for round two!

Evil resurfaces in Derry as director Andy Muschietti reunites the Losers Club in a return to where it all began with “IT Chapter Two,” the conclusion to the highest-grossing horror film of all time, on 4K Steelbook, 4K UHD, Blu-ray™, DVD and Digital Download.

The film is Muschietti’s follow-up to 2017’s critically acclaimed and massive global box office hit “IT,” which grossed more than $700 million worldwide. Both redefining and transcending the genre, “IT” became part of the cultural zeitgeist.

“IT Chapter Two” stars James McAvoy (the “X-Men” movies, “Split,” “Glass”) as Bill, Oscar nominee Jessica Chastain (“Zero Dark Thirty,” “Mama,” “Molly’s Game”) as Beverly, Bill Hader (TV’s “Barry,” “The Skeleton Twins”) as Richie, Isaiah Mustafa (TV’s “Shadowhunters: The Mortal Instruments”) as Mike, Jay Ryan (TV’s “Mary Kills People,” TV’s “Beauty and the Beast”) as Ben, James Ransone (TV’s “The Wire,” “Sinister”) as Eddie and Andy Bean (“Swamp Thing,” “Allegiant”) as Stanley. Reprising their roles as the original members of the Losers Club are Jaeden Martell (“St. Vincent,” “Midnight Special”) as Bill, Wyatt Oleff (“Guardians of the Galaxy,” “Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2”) as Stanley, Jack Dylan Grazer (“Shazam,” TV’s “Me, Myself and I”) as Eddie, Finn Wolfhard (TV’s “Stranger Things,” TV’s  “Carmen Sandiego”) as Richie, Sophia Lillis (“Nancy Drew and the Hidden Staircase,” TV’s “Sharp Objects”) as Beverly, Chosen Jacobs (TV’s “Hawaii Five-O,”  TV’s “Castle Rock”) as Mike and Jeremy Ray Taylor (“Goosebumps 2: Haunted Halloween”) as Ben. Bill Skarsgård (“Deadpool 2,” “Allegiant”) returns in the seminal role of Pennywise.

Twenty-seven years after the Losers Club defeated Pennywise (Bill Skarsgård), he has returned to terrorize the town of Derry once more. Now adults, the Losers have long since gone their separate ways. However, people are disappearing again, so Mike (Isaiah Mustafa), the only one of the group to remain in their hometown, calls the others home. Damaged by the experiences of their past, they must each conquer their deepest fears to destroy Pennywise once and for  all… putting them directly in the path of the shape-shifting clown that has become deadlier than ever.

For your chance to win IT Chapter Two on 4K Steelbook, simply answer the following question:
IT Chapter Two is a continuation film based on the novel by Stephen King. In the novel and in the first film, it is stated that Pennywise comes to terrorize the town of Derry in increments of how much time?  

 

(a) 5 years
(b) 11 years
(c) 27 years

 

Email your answers labelled ‘IT Chapter 2’ to [email protected] to arrive before 23:59 on January 26th.

 

IT Chapter Two is available on Digital Download now, and 4K Steelbook, 4K UHD, BluRay™ and DVD on January 13th.

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Nathaniel J. Harris | ACCIDENTAL ANTICHRIST

As one of the UK’s foremost writers and authorities on magic and the occult, Nathaniel J. Harris’s life has run the gauntlet of the ‘80s Goth explosion, goblins, creepy clowns, vengeful poltergeists and dodgy hippy festivals – an extraordinary existence that led to him being mythologised in the pages of 2000 AD comic. As he publishes Accidental Antichrist, the first volume of his controversial autobiography, we dabbed ourselves in holy water, entered his chamber and dared ask him a few prudent questions…

STARBURST: Why have you decided to tell your own story now?

Nathaniel Harris: I wrote Accidental Antichrist to reclaim my past after losing my family to an abusive mind control cult. As the process continued, it grew to become a book. Like its author, it was conceived by accident and acquired purpose as it went along. Plus, I heard it is almost impossible not to love someone if you know their life story, so it seemed like a good tactic.

Why is it subtitled ‘A Survivor’s Grimoire’?

I think the grimoire is an under explored literary art. If you make a study of the classics, like The Testament of Solomon, or The Black Raven, they read as much like dramatic novels as books of rituals. I’ve written a few theoretical and instructional works, but they’re kind of abstract if taken out of context. For myself, magic was something I grew up with, coming from an old Essex witchcraft family and living in a place so rich in history and folklore. It wasn’t a game, or something to be disrespected. If you wanted to learn the practice, and you didn’t come from a hereditary lineage, you’d have to join a coven or an order. There weren’t all the occult bookshops, workshops, and online courses there are today, and it wasn’t something the middle classes took up as an interesting hobby. It was also my survival strategy. Many of those who come to me are also survivors, and we work together to reclaim identity and a sense of agency. The best healers often have to heal themselves first.

How did you come to know the writer Pat Mills and end up as a character in 2000 AD comic?

I met Pat’s daughters in the street and they took me and my gang of teen punk friends round to meet him. This was in 1986. You can find us in Book Four of Nemesis – brothers Nathaniel, Ivan, Owain, and John, the renegade terminators. Pat was also in the early stages of creating Slaine, whose appearance was inspired by our spiked hair and tartan trousers. Our friendship has continued since then.

How has science fiction and fantasy influenced your writing?

Science fiction and fantasy deal with archetypes, at least when done well, and so does magic. Plus of course magic is allowed in science fiction and fantasy. They provide a space where the possibility can be discussed without anyone having to worry about whether they believe in it. The relationship between them often produces surprising hybrids, too. Lovecraft’s Cthulhu mythos, for example, inspired Kenneth Grant, and many other magicians.

Chaos Magic was massively popularised in 2000 AD comic during the 1980s – 1990s, which I am perhaps partly responsible for. Nemesis the Warlock made many references to it, and it was my idea to put Deadlock in charge of the ABC Warriors. I have appeared in it as a character quite a few times. I stopped buying it for a while, to my shame, and when I found it in my local newsagents, I was amazed to see the archangel Nathaniel, wearing armour stolen from Dr Dee, flying over East Anglia in Defoe, so got back in touch and haven’t missed a Prog since. Alan Moore and Grant Morrison were also writing for 2000 AD in those early days, and both now openly admit to practising magic. Plus, my biological father, who you meet briefly in Accidental Antichrist, was a set designer and special effects man who worked on Superman the Movie [1978], The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy [BBC 1981], and Knightmare [ITV 1987-94].

So, science fiction and fantasy has influenced me a lot, and been a big part of my life. My book The Neuronomicon deals with neuromancy, a term borrowed from William Gibson, although my theories draw from neurology, quantum physics, and noetic science, as well as traditional occultism. To some people it probably reads like Gibson’s crossed with Lovecraft, with elements of Wilson and Shea’s Illuminatus!, but while my style may be whimsical, I’m confident it’s a genuine advance in the technology of magic, perhaps the first in 100 years.

 

Was revisiting your ‘70s and ‘80s childhood for this book, while living in 2019, a Dr Manhattan-like experience?

It definitely gave me a sense of being outside the circles of time. The places I write about are all kind of timeless, too. Rural Essex, the town of Colchester where Old King Cole and Humpty Dumpty come from, and the wilds of the Pyrenees mountains, these are places where past and present are simultaneously present, and I was writing in the present about my past. And, of course, it made a kind of psychic call to the people I had grown up with, many of whom I’d lost contact with over the years. It was amazing how many of them came back into my life. Getting involved with international occult conspiracies, alleged Illuminati orders, coven networks, and the voodoo underground, it can uproot your sense of self. But that’s all for the follow up books, some of it I’ve written about already although not so descriptively.

You’ve had more than your fair share of run-ins this with black magic cults, what have they got against you?

I used to run a London-based temple of the Illuminates of Thanateros. I resigned in 2001 because I found Chaos Magic to be a cul-de-sac, which embarrassed them, considering my previous status. They’ve spread the worst kind of libel and tried to write me out of their history, but it hasn’t worked. Chaos Magic’s nihilistic ultra-relativist pseudo-philosophy seemed cutting edge in the ‘80s, but in my honest opinion, it was all over long before it got popular with nerds, and long before the IOT’s leadership brought it to such shame. If one wishes to become one thousand, one merely has to attract enough zeroes.

After resigning, I wrote Witcha: A Book of Cunning, which I self-published in a hand-bound leather volume. This was before the craze for luxury occult books. And just before Owen Davies’s Cunning Folk came out, the first academic study of the Britain’s genuine magical tradition. This got me into a squabble with Andrew Chumbley, who was trying to pass himself off as the Magus of East Anglia. There were all kinds of rumours when he tragically died, which didn’t help my reputation. I like to think that if he had lived, we would have gotten over our differences.

Shortly after I published the first edition of Witcha, Kenneth Grant encouraged a Pythoness of his Typhonian Order into attempting to seduce me to join. She was an author, and wrote an erotic novel with a character in it she said was based on me, and who ends up being horribly killed. I also have a flattering deconstruction of my name by gematria included in a letter Grant sent to her, which she cheekily photocopied for me. It didn’t work, as I found the whole situation manipulative and sleazy. I mean, why not just write to me with an invitation?

Then there are the Satanists, with their big campaign to point the finger at anyone but themselves, so they don’t like that I wrote about ritual abuse in The Neuronomicon. We’ve had a serious problem right here in this city where I live. That’s not to say all Satanists are involved in brainwashing child sex slaves, but the case has similarities with others here and abroad that to my mind don’t seem to have been investigated properly. I’m not up for defending anyone’s image if it means covering up that kind of thing. And despite the protestations, it is well known that Jimmy Savile thought he was some kind of Satanist. It might sound like conspiracy theory, but it was right there in the paper and there is nothing the Temple of Satan can do to make this publicly available evidence go away. It doesn’t make me popular when I point these things out. If I was the Devil, I’d be embarrassed by these people and would refuse to turn up to their rituals, so it’s no wonder they’re atheists.

So most practitioners of ‘real’ magic are just charlatans of one kind or another?

These days, most of what masquerades as magic, with or without a ‘k’, is just sleazy sex cults, or an excuse to abuse drugs and make believe you’re some kind of shaman, or both. The same goes with witchcraft. The popular ‘occult scene’ here in the UK is riddled with dangerous charlatans and worse. As far as I can tell it’s the same in America. It’s only those in denial of such uncomfortable truths that have any problem with me, plus the guilty few. Dupes, basically, like back when the Catholic Church could still deny its shameful side. Plus, there is money to be made. Call me arrogant, narcissistic, whatever, but that’s been my experience. The sheep may be black but they bleat all the same.

So, I have a long history in magic, and have rubbed a lot of people up the wrong way, but as far as I’m concerned, it’s been for all the right reasons, even if my books are no longer in the major outlets. So thanks for asking. It’s good to get all that off my chest.

Death stalks your story, with many participants dying or disappearing in mysterious circumstances. Would you consider yourself dangerous to know?

I hope not. I’d like to think I’m safe to know, and that I help to keep others safe. But not everyone I knew survived to the end of the book, not everyone I write about survived to see the 21st century, and one dear friend in the book read the manuscript but died before it was published. Life can be cruel, and death can be arbitrary…

Some readers may scoff at your tales of magical happenings. Others will read about your vengeful curses on people and fancy themselves to do likewise…

Yes, there is a lot of magical cursing in Accidental Antichrist. There were a lot of bullies in my childhood and curses were my way of dealing with them. I’m open-minded in my account, rather than making any definite claims, though. I was just a kid, and it was perhaps an immature reaction to my situation. And if any kind of magic might backfire, curses are it. I don’t recommend anybody starts there. Moving forward with your life and doing well despite what others might wish on you, that’s the best revenge, if revenge is needed. Why can’t we all just get along? Which isn’t to say that justice against transgressions should ever be denied or avoided. Justice means preventing further transgressions, not satisfying our bruised ego by committing further transgressions. More recently, I’ve been accused of cursing reviewers who don’t give me five stars, but none of that is true. Promise.

A key figure throughout your early years was your violently abusive stepfather. How does any kid cope with that?

I had to. Psychologists might conclude my tough childhood explains my involvement in sorcery, assuming it is an overcompensation. Perhaps it was at the start, but as a survival strategy, it worked. I can’t pretend I wasn’t damaged, though, even if many people refused to believe my stepfather was anything but an easy-going hippy. Abuse during formative years hampers a person’s whole life, but there are plenty of kids who have to survive much worse.

You quote Alan Garner who said “if you think where you live isn’t interesting enough to write a book about, take another look”. You have certainly taken another look at Colchester.

Every place has a history, and every person a story. It is often more about how the story is told than how important or famous a person or place is. Bukowski wrote a novel about being sacked from the post-office, a fairly normal story but told with style. With Garner, it was the way he explored the folkloric, magical elements of place that enchanted me as a child, and I hope I have managed something similar with Colchester. Garner and Bukowski were masters, I’m not comparing my style or skill to theirs but they are an inspiration. Colchester, the folklore of witchcraft and Black Shuck, the weirdness that went on, and the people who lived there in the time I write about, all deserve to be remembered and celebrated.

What’s up next for you?

I’m currently teaching a course in sorcery, 21st Century Urban Voodoo. I’m also working on a treatise of the Yi-King, relating it to Obi and Ifa, all at least 5,000-year-old binary codes, which I hope to have ready some time in 2020. It’s a follow on from the Neuronomicon, essentially, but will also stand alone as a device of divination, capable of answering almost any question, like some kind of extradimensional Artificial Intelligence.

At the same time, I’m working on Book Two of Accidental Antichrist, but I’m taking that slowly. I have to wait for certain people to be prosecuted or to die, whichever happens first, before I can tell the whole story…

 

Accidental Antichrist: A Survivor’s Grimoire is out now