Review Category: Movie

by Joel Harley

Sex equals death, okay? Promiscuity and death by horror film have been inextricably linked since the dawn of the slasher, with Scream’s Randy Meeks essentially entrenching the rule into canon in 1996. The murderous spook of Kevin Ignatius and Nick Psinakis’s Cheat isn’t quite as prudish as all that, but cheating is an absolute no-no in the small town of Silvercreek, Pennsylvania.

College student Maeve (Corin Clay) quickly learns this when she hooks up with a married man (Charlie, played by Michael Thyler) amidst a town-wide suicide epidemic. It follows, then, that Maeve and her middle-aged love rat are soon stalked by a vengeful spirit intent on punishing them for their transgressions.

This supernatural horror film treads a well-worn path: establishing the curse, and its rules and then following the doomed as they attempt to placate the forces which would do them harm. The film opens well (with a cold open not dissimilar to that of 2013’s Evil Dead remake) before foisting the dull Maeve and creepy Charlie upon its audience. The whole thing is predicated on their relationship and chemistry, so it’s particularly unfortunate that there isn’t much to speak of at all.

Vicious kill sequences and a rich visual palette keep the CW teen drama vibes at bay, even as the film slides into Ring/Final Destination last act cliché. A smart idea, skillfully done, but all too faithful to the Supernatural Curse Playbook to forge its own way.

Cheat had its world premiere at Pigeon Shrine FrightFest on August 24th, 2023.

by Joel Harley

Whatever can go wrong will go wrong. So goes Murphy’s First Law. To illustrate this point, two sisters take a diving trip to an underwater cave system off an idyllic yet remote beach. Following an underwater avalanche, May (Louisa Krause) becomes trapped under a rock 28 meters down. With the oxygen tank rapidly running out, it’s up to Drew (Sophie Lowe) to save the day.

Nothing is as easy as it looks, says Murphy’s Second Law. Drew learns this as she attempts to free her sister. But, with the clock rapidly counting down, this is where the Third Law becomes apparent – everything takes longer than you think it will.

Unfolding in real-time, director Maximilian Erlenwein’s survival thriller plays like a reverse version of last year’s Fall, using the sisters’ predicament to explore their unspoken trauma and silently fractured relationship.

Similarities to that other trapped underwater film prove surface level – The Dive is darker and deeper than 47 Meters Down. And anyway, it’s a remake of a Swedish movie from 2020, swapping the icy depths of Norway for sunnier – but no less existentially terrifying – climes. It’s intensely claustrophobic and thalassophobic at the same time but also beautifully shot – making the most of the open water and vistas of the desolate landscape that borders the water.

A particularly stifling yet wholly expansive addition to the stuck-in-a-bad-place subgenre.

The Dive had its UK premiere at Pigeon Shrine FrightFest on August 24th, 2023.

by Joel Harley

When a solar flare plunges Ireland into a complete technological blackout, a troupe of washed-up clowns come together for an ambitious cross-country road trip led by depressive Bobo (David Earl). Accompanied by journalist Jenny (Amy De Bhrún), the clowns take their last shot at success and redemption while the country crumbles into looting, riots, and lawlessness around them.

Directed by George Kane, this post (or mid) apocalyptic comedy is a unique take on the road trip movie. Its loose, shaggy story follows the four clowns (plus a journalist) as they encounter the perils of a society in collapse. The low budget negates any explosions or big action sequences but is instead content with a hippy commune (led by Pollyanna McIntosh) and scenes in which the gang stand around arguing in a field.

Standout star Natalie Palamides gives the film much of its energy as scary clown Funzo, while Ivan Kaye makes for a particularly bombastic villain, playing the Great Alphonso. Between them all, there’s enough variety to all the clowning around that no one wears out their welcome, grating as some of the personalities can be.

This isn’t for want of trying, though, with many of the (already hit and miss) jokes dragging on long past the point of funny. At 102 minutes, the film’s one joke wears thin, even as the stakes are raised, and the humour gives in to shock tactics and a surprising level of violence.

Apocalypse Clown may struggle to keep up the momentum, but it’s a charming oddity, brimming with warmth and inventiveness.

Apocalypse Clown is in UK cinemas from September 1st.

By Jack Bottomley

Just when you thought it was safe to go back into the cinema! The Meg is back, bigger and…better? 

As Jason Statham returns as professional badass Jonas, for this shark action thriller sequel to the 2018 hit, again based on the novels by Steve Alten. This time British director Ben Wheatley (Sorry? Yes, THAT Ben Wheatley…What? Why are you staring at us?) takes over the directorial reigns for this sequel that goes even crazier with the material. 

As more Megalodons are unleashed and the scientists led by Statham (will you stop staring at us like that?!) must outsmart (and out swim) these prehistoric apex predators for the sake of survival. As an oceanic exploration of the mysterious Trench conjures up all manner of aquatic dangers of prehistoric origin.

Taking the set pieces, action and comedy of the first film and amplifying it 100%, Meg 2: The Trench is a gargantuan summer movie in every respect, that looks to deliver plenty of bang – or rather bite – for your buck, and maybe even some-fin to get your teeth into! Sorry…

Even considering the expectations going in Meg 2: The Trench is one hell of a silly movie.

A film where deep sea compression can be counteracted with a gulp of air and manly fixation, or where one person can wield a helicopter blade like a javelin. Mind you, we didn’t expect Shakespeare here now did we?

Wheatley has made a sequel that is like 1989’s Leviathan meets The Lost World by way of Jaws 3. Its big, mad and 12a-pushing human chomping ridiculousness served on a mightily big screen, that never takes much of a moment to consider “is that a bit much?”. In fact, most impossibilities here can probably be attributed to early on in the film’s development, where with every ludicrous plot turn proposed, some one asked, “will people believed that”, and the others just responded with, “yeah, it’s The Stath”. Fair point, actually!

Like a takeaway it won’t fulfil your every need but it goes down easy. Plus, no matter how absurd it becomes, we can’t bring ourselves to harpoon a film that has the stones to pull some of this s**t with a 140 million budget at its disposal and yet still succeed where other big name rivals haven’t.

Who’s ready for Meg 3: Aquarium Time Machine. Probably from director Werner Herzog at the rate we’re going!

Meg 2: The Trench is in cinemas now!

by Hayden Mears

Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse is best prefaced with a close read of writer/creator commentary. When any great storyteller opens up about their work, pay close attention to how they discuss the concept of story. Last week, Succession creator Jesse Armstrong said this about the series finale: “The characters’ stories don’t end. They will carry on, but it’s sort of where the show loses interest in them because they’ve lost what they wanted.” Author Sue Monk Kidd’s words echo Armstrong’s sentiment in their own way: “Stories have to be told or they die, and when they die, we can’t remember who we are or why we’re here.” 

Both writers discuss story as a living thing, as something that must leave our heads to thrive. Across the Spider-Verse embraces this truth and quickly becomes one of the best, most innovative animated films to grace the screen. Directors Joaquim Dos Santos, Kemp Powers, and Justin K. Thompson, working from a script by Phil Lord, Christopher Miller, and David Callaham, have encapsulated Spider-Man’s appeal with more heart, splendor, and grace than nearly all of the character’s big screen outings.

Just over a year after putting Kingpin behind bars, Miles Morales/Spider-Man (Shameik Moore) gets an unexpected visit from Gwen Stacy (Hailee Steinfeld). Gwen has recently joined a multiversal task force led by Miguel O’Hara/Spider-Man 2099 (Oscar Isaac). Miles is pulled into a conflict with The Spot (Jason Schwartzman), a terrifying dimensional threat hell-bent on revenge.

The voice cast impresses again, with Moore, Isaac, Steinfeld, and Schwartzman making especially strong cases for themselves as perfect fits for their respective roles. Moore and Steinfeld, functioning as dual leads for most of the movie, turn in heartfelt, show-stopping performances worthy of their characters’ challenging arcs. Schwartzman’s initially comedic take on The Spot becomes more sinister, more powerful, and more tragic as the story progresses, while Isaac, imbuing O’Hara with a combustible mix of drive, rage, and self-righteousness, proves himself a formidable antagonist for Miles.

Yes, Across the Spider-Verse is a lot. When the credits roll, though, and the film’s power settles, it’s difficult to advocate for a shorter cut. Every moment, every creative avenue the writers take feels earned and justified. Rather than speak for every experience, Across the Spider-Verse stands up for them. As much a sledgehammer to ‘should’ as it is a welcome mat for ‘be’, this big, dense, beautiful odyssey nails who Miles is, what he stands for, and where he fits in the multiverse. It’s like comfort food with health benefits. Gravy-drenched mashed potatoes that don’t accelerate arterial blockage (a glutton can dream).

Even more so than its predecessor, Across the Spider-Verse combines the compatible strengths of the comic and film mediums (panel structure, absence of a panel structure, etc.) and alchemizes them into art we won’t see done quite the same way again. That isn’t because the creative team can’t. It’s because they won’t. In keeping with the idea that stories are singular and alive, the creative team treats each instalment as its own entity. Every aspect of this production, from its many, many animation styles to its brilliant use of onomatopoeia, reflects a passionate faithfulness to this principle. And the humour is gut-busting. If you’ve never seen a sack of bread fall out of a guy… well, this’ll be a first for you.

Narratively, the manner in which Miles Morales’ story plays out inverts how Peter Parker’s has nearly always unfolded: rather than frame maturity through the idea of Spider-Man, Miles spins it, framing his superheroics around the concept of maturity. Peter’s decisions as Spider-Man define and inform his approach to being a person more often than the other way around. Miles’ decisions as a regular guy, as a son, a young man, a lover, and a fighter, inform his choices as Spider-Man.

Across the Spider-Verse never feels starved for lessons to impart, but it’s particularly resonant as an ode to personal agency. A reminder that we’re all worthy of the space we occupy. It’s a grab-bag of unsolicited – but always welcome – wisdom that makes you better for having heard it, that affirms your worth, and pulls you into a firm spider-hug. It’s the next-level, no-holds-barred moviemaking Spider-Man was always destined for, the kind of mind-nuking animated fare you have to feel your way through to come away changed.

SPIDER-MAN: ACROSS THE SPIDER-VERSE is available to buy digitally