Review Category: Movie

Review: The Host / Cert: 12A / Director: Andrew Niccol / Screenplay: Andrew Niccol / Starring: Saoirse Ronan, Jake Abel, Max Irons, William Hurt, Chandler Canterbrury, William Fisher / Release Date: Out Now

Stephanie Meyer, the modern day Frankenstein who created the abominable and much derided Twilight franchise, turns her attention to the rich world of science fiction in this ghastly, cloying teen dream alien invasion flick based on her 1998 book which, it turns out, was a dry run for the angsty themes and love triangles of her later vampire saga. Science-fiction fans will find little of interest here – and certainly nothing especially original – but teenage One Direction fans who constantly dream of kissing boys will thrill to the sub-girl’s comic picture strip dialogue and the brooding non-threatening hunks who pad out the faceless cast.

Earth has, we’re told, been overrun by body-invading aliens called Souls whose influence has created a bland and uniform society where everyone’s nice, there’s no such thing as war and, it seems, chrome sports cars, bikes and helicopters are de rigueur. Human survivors are few and far between but when Melanie (Ronan) in captured and subsumed by an alien called Wanderer, she finds that she still exists inside her Host’s mind and she/they eventually stumble across a nest of human survivors living in a cave in the desert. Here, inevitably, the Wanderer and Melanie each fall in love with a different boy and with Melanie ever-present as an echoey voice-over the drama descends into little more than two hormonal teenage girls in the playground shrieking “I hate you kissing him!” for the better part of two long hours.

Andrew Niccol has decent form in creating reasonably convincing dystopian future worlds (Gattaca, In Time) and he just about manages to pull it off again here with the occasionally eerie sameyness of the possessed humans, especially in one effective scene where Melanie visits a supermarket (blandly named ‘Store’) where all the stock has identical functional labelling and no one really cares if customers walk out without paying. But the threat of the pursuing aliens determined to catch and convert the last of the humans never amounts to much – the film’s much more concerned with all the kissing and hand-holding – and the human rebels hiding underground are so feeble it’s hard to tell the difference between them and the doe-eyed aliens. William Hurt’s rebel leader Jeb Stryder provides one moment of unintentional humour when he remarks that Wanderer’s name is too long: “I’ll call you Wanda” he says – yeah, ‘cos that’s like really so much shorter than Wanderer.

The Host is nothing like as offensively inane as the Twilight saga and in Saoirse Ronan it does at least boast a talented and likeable lead who does what she can with lame material. The best we can hope for is that The Host will encourage the screaming tweenies it’s aimed at to seek out more challenging science fiction which says a little more about the human condition than the ‘it’s nice to kiss and hold hands with boys’ message of this dull, plodding and largely lifeless effort.

Expected Rating: 5 out of 10 

Actual Rating:

Review: G.I. Joe – Retaliation / Cert: 12A / Director: Jon M. Chu / Screenplay: Rhett Reese, Paul Wernick / Starring: Dwayne Johnson, Bruce Willis, D.J. Cotrona, Channing Tatum, Jonathan Pryce, Ray Stevenson, Ray Park / Release Date: Out Now

It’s all kicking off in G.I. Joe: Retaliation, the long awaited, much delayed sequel to 2009’s enjoyable-despite-itself The Rise of Cobra. Following a screening of footage from Retaliation last summer, Starburst’s hopes were high that this second entry in what’s clearly intended to be a long-running action movie franchise might have a slicker script, a cleverer storyline and a bit more decent characterisation than the slam-bam ‘let’s blow up Paris for the Hell of it’ original. But it was not to be. Retaliation is pretty much a movie full of bald, muscular men running around grunting and firing guns while the token female in the cast gets the chance to strip down to her underwear once or twice; oh, and London gets it this time but that’s okay because it’s not in America.

The plot? Well, there is one, after a fashion. The hard of remembering are reintroduced to the G.I. Joe squad in a sequence which is virtually ‘top trumps’ on the big screen and we’re reminded that the nefarious Cobra organisation has infiltrated the White House and replaced the President with an evil double (played by Jonathan Pryce, whose tongue is virtually protruding through his cheek throughout the entire movie – the scene where he plays Angry Birds on his mobile phone as the world teeters on the edge of nuclear Armageddon is nearly enough to justify the film’s existence). The GI Joe squad is quickly wiped out on the false Pres’s orders and it’s up to new Joe on the block Dwayne (The Rock) Johnson to organise those who have survived into a crack force to thwart Cobra’s devilish (and rather self-defeating) scheme to plunge the world into nuclear chaos. His plan involves chasing off to the Himalayas (and the one action set-piece which genuinely thrills) and recruiting the original GI Joe; welcome aboard Mr Bruce Willis, who looks not so much as if he’s phoning it in but rather texting it. Before long Dwayne (who thankfully resists any urge to flex his pecs) and Bruce are rushing about shooting down similarly bald security guards and blowing up pretty much everything in sight in their haste to get to the end credits and sign up for the inevitable sequel.

To its credit, GI Joe: Retaliation isn’t as fist-clenchingly dumb as last year’s Battleship (sorry to bring that one up again) but neither is it as gloriously silly as the guilty pleasure which as The Rise of Cobra. The script rarely rises above the monosyllabic, the spectacle just becomes a rush of explosions and bangs and flashes but, oddly, the 3D conversion which caused the ninth month delay in the film’s release does actually work wonders in at least holding the attention when it might otherwise wander towards the theatre exit sign. Ultimately it’s a waste of actors who really deserve better because they’ve got genuine presence; Dwayne can actually act a bit, Bruce is usually good for a few moody glowers and one-liners and Britain’s Ray Stevenson, scorching in series seven of Dexter, just gets lost in a rush of admittedly well choreographed but exhausting-to-watch fight sequences. Astonishingly this empty vessel looks set to rake in even more than its predecessor at the box office and toy manufacturers Hasbro, at least, will have cause to celebrate the news that a third G.I. Joe has already been greenlit. We can hardly wait.

Expected Rating: 7 out of 10

Actual Rating:

Review: Dark Skies / Cert: 15 / Director: Scott Stewart / Screenplay: Scott Stewart / Starring: Keri Russell, Josh Hamilton, Dakota Goyo, Kaden Rockett, J.K. Simmons / Release Date: Out Now

The Barrett family, living a quiet suburban life somewhere in middle America, are having a tough time. Architect Dad Daniel (Hamilton) is struggling to find a job and estate agent Mom Lacey (Russell) can’t get a decent commission to save her life. Youngest son Sammy (Rockett) stays awake at night talking to his brother Jesse (Goyo) via walkie talkie and listening to creepy stories about ’The Sandman’. Then the weird stuff starts to happen: food thrown all over the kitchen floor, cans and packages arranged into towers and strange signs projected onto the ceiling. Then the burglar alarm persistently goes off without reason, hundreds of birds crash into the house, they each experience incidents of catatonia or loss of control and suddenly the two boys are covered in strange and inexplicable bruises. Are the Barretts being terrorised by some supernatural entity or is something even more sinister at work in their home?

Dark Skies plays like a cross between Paranormal Activity and Signs and director/writer Scott Stewart (previously responsible for the Paul Bettany travesties Legion and Priest) seems to be reasonably comfortable toying with our expectations of the ‘haunted house’ movie and then subverting them with an alien abduction conspiracy mystery. Fortunately he’s chosen not to go down the ‘found footage’ route – although there’s a couple of security camera sequences which nod in the general direction of Paranormal Activity and its ilk – but his story and characters hit a dead end which leads to the inevitable introduction of J.K. Simmons’ alien abduction expert who’s on board purely to provide some necessary exposition and to set up the events leading to the finale.

Dark Skies is derivative and fairly generic and offers nothing scarier than the average TV movie but it’s generally well-paced, nicely performed (the Barretts and their financial woes give the movie a recognisably contemporary edge) and it’s always nice to see ‘the Grays’ again, those long, spindly, bulging-eyed aliens whose image was popular currency back in the post-X-Files days. If nothing else it shows that Stewart is better served working to a low budget than trying to overstretch himself with big fanciful under-resourced sci-fi concepts. Meaningless title apart – Dark Skies might ring a few bells as a one-season American alien conspiracy TV series from the 1990s – this is a diverting and thoroughly watchable low-key thriller which does nothing we haven’t seen before but does it with plenty of style and bags of atmosphere.

Expected Rating: 6 out of 10

Actual Rating:

Review: Jack the Giant Slayer / Cert: 12A / Director: Bryan Singer / Screenplay: Darren Lemke, Christopher McQuarrie, Dan Studney/ Starring: Ewan McGregor, Stanley Tucci, Nicholas Hoult, Eleanor Tomlinson / Release Date: March 22nd

Don’t expect to come out of Bryan Singer’s latest action/adventure, Jack the Giant Slayer feeling like you got your money’s worth.

Stuck with a flimsy plot and predictable script, stars Nicholas Hoult (About a Boy, Warm Bodies) and Eleanor Tomlinson (The Illusionist, Alice in Wonderland) just aren’t compelling enough to carry this film, especially during an unnecessarily long beginning that only serves to establish how the beanstalk sprouts up in the first place. They do the best job they can with what they’re given but they can’t do all the work.

When the plot finally kicks into gear, the movie becomes infinitely more enjoyable, which isn’t saying much. Also, a word of “effects-stickler” caution: if you MUST go see this in theaters, spring for 3D. While the beanstalk is a fantastic display of CGI (once it finally shows up, grumble grumble), the giants themselves look so cartoonish and fake we were grateful for the glasses. The 3D effect gives the entire movie an unreal, animated sheen which makes the live-actors mesh more smoothly with the fake ones.  

And unfortunately, that is really all those effects serve to do. Save for the first glimpse of the giants, which is a pretty cool shot to see in 3D but lasts maybe five seconds, the rest of the effects are a little underwhelming. You are going to see numerous shots of rippling water and <insert pointy weapons here> coming towards your face, which are things we’ve all seen before.

Those shortcomings aside, the film still provides some lighthearted fun. That’s due in large part to the cast obviously enjoying themselves. The acting brings to mind the 2007 film Enchanted, the kind of movie where you know the entire ensemble is having a blast playing fantasy characters battling mythical odds. And no one enjoys themselves more than Ewan McGregor and Stanley Tucci.  

Tucci plays the ridiculously obvious villain, Lord Roderick – a turn which reminds you of Christopher Sarandon’s Prince Humperdink or Alan Rickman’s Sheriff of Nottingham. He’s pure camp, but he makes the film a little bit more fun to watch. However, its McGregor’s Knight in Shining Armor, Elmont, who really steals and carries this movie. Not to mention, he looks really good doing so. Anyone over the age of 15 watching this movie will probably wonder the same thing we did about an hour in: “Wait, why isn’t the princess in love with Elmont?”

Nicholas Hoult attempts to hold his own as Jack, but with almost every character written somewhat one-dimensionally, it’s up to the actors to breathe life into their roles and Hoult isn’t given much to play with. He’s the classic hero/underdog who overcomes his fear to save the day and the girl, and that’s pretty much all he gets to do. 

Decent acting aside, Jack the Giant Slayer is a huge disappointment. There’s just not enough going on in this movie to ever make you feel like it was worth the trip to the box office. If you are hoping for a beautiful, CGI epic full of magic and adventure – this isn’t it.

Expected Rating: 7 0ut of 10

Actual Rating:

Review: Evil Dead / Cert: 18 / Director: Fede Alvarez / Screenplay: Fede Alvarez, Diablo Cody, Rodo Sayagues Mendez / Starring: Jane Levy, Shiloh Fernandez, Lou Taylor Pucci, Elizabeth Blackmore / Release Date: April 19th

After years of rumour, fan outrage and speculation, and amidst more rumour, fan outrage and speculation regarding Army of Darkness sequels and Bruce Campbell cameos, the Evil Dead remake is finally here. And with it, a long-held sigh of relief: against all odds, this remake is actually very good.

The movie hits the ground running, with a disconcerting prologue which feels culled from a backwoods Hillbilly movie or something. As the first blast of ultraviolence hits like boomstick shrapnel to the face, the tone is set perfectly – it’s Evil Dead, but not as we know it. And then, to the cabin in the woods, where we are introduced to five pretty young things and their lovely dog, Grandpa. Mia (Levy) is a recovering drug addict, driven out by her friends to this remote shack to kick her drug addiction. Also present is her estranged brother David (Fernandez), wearing a very familiar-looking denim shirt. As they batten down the hatches and prepare for the onset of Mia’s withdrawal symptoms, the group discovers something awful hidden in the cellar…

Wrapped in black bin liners and barbed wire is the Necronomicon (never actually named as such) and hippy Eric (Taylor Pucci) is stupid enough to read a few passages aloud. No audio book required, nor a PHD in Deadite translation – this version of the book is good enough to have written the most dangerous lines of text in English. It’s The Necronomicon for Dummies. Deep within the woods, something stirs…

Ranting about being attacked by the woods themselves and not being alone in the cabin, everyone at first attributes Mia’s change in behaviour to her going cold turkey. Eric suspects differently though, having seen all this depicted in the book. But by now it’s too late. It has begun. And it doesn’t let up again for the rest of the movie. Evil Dead 2013 is the most relentless, harrowing, violent horror movie experience in years; in fact, it’s perhaps the bloodiest cinema release of all time. At one point it literally rains blood. It’s torrential. At times it feels less like a remake of The Evil Dead than Peter Jackson’s Braindead by way of (a far less pretentious) Antichrist. From the misty, foreboding cinematography to the excellent (and practical) FX, Evil Dead is gorgeous. That seems like an odd word to use to describe a movie in which one character vomits gallons of blood into another’s face, but it’s true. Alvarez and cinematographer Aaron Morton do an outstanding job of modernising the Evil Dead experience.

Looking past the grit, the grime and the gore, however, the movie isn’t without its flaws. The script is particularly clunky, with many of the lines not gelling with the film’s more realistic style. At least we’re spared any of the kids saying “groovy” though. Likewise, the young actors are a mixed bag. Jane Levy is wonderful as Mia, both sympathetic and terrifying at the same time. She and the others handle an insane level of abuse – particularly poor Lou Taylor Pucci, who winds up getting a brutal beating from every character in the film at some point or other. Oddly unaffected is Shiloh Fernandez, who somehow manages to avoid too much bodily trauma and seems almost disaffected by the carnage around him. Perhaps he too was distracted by the constant references to the earlier films – from the props (there’s the boomstick! And chainsaw!) to certain shots (the roving camera is back) to a scene very much influenced by Evil Dead 2. The film’s obvious reverence is lovely to behold – and it will win much fan favour – but there’s a sense that it holds this Evil Dead back from ever truly becoming its own entity. It stands tall alongside Alexandre Aja’s The Hills Have Eyes and Zack Snyder’s Dawn of the Dead as a solid horror remake which does its predecessor justice without ever going the extra mile.

Beyond a slight lull towards the end and one strange twist, Evil Dead is unrelentingly fun. Again, fun might be a strange way of describing a movie in which a woman cuts her own jaw off with a shard of glass (not really a spoiler, since there’s so much dismemberment going on that this barely scratches the surface. No pun intended) but horror fans should love it. It’s the loudest, messiest and cruellest horror film in years. And be sure to stay in your seat past the (beautifully designed) end credits too, for a treat that would put Marvel to shame.

“The most terrifying film you will ever experience?” Not quite, but it’s certainly an experience, all the same.

Expected Rating: 7 out of 10

Actual Rating:

Review: Byzantium / Cert: 15 / Director: Neil Jordan / Screenplay: Moira Buffini / Starring: Gemma Arterton, Saoirse Ronan, Jonny Lee Miller, Caleb Landry-Jones / Release Date: May 3rd

Byzantium is Neil Jordan’s return to the world of the undead twenty years after he directed Interview with the Vampire, and it plays out very much like a feminist inversion of that film. Jordan is incapable of making anything less than an interesting picture and even oddities like In Dreams and The Butcher Boy have much to recommend in them. Byzantium is definitely an ‘interesting’ film but doesn’t quite work.

We follow Clara (Arterton), who works as a prostitute, and her introverted daughter Eleanor (Ronan) as they flee London and set up shop in Brighton with the intention of starting a brothel. In flashback we learn how Clara was forced into prostitution at a young age and how her daughter was initially taken away from her. Clara has discovered the key to eternal life and uses the same power to get her daughter back, which brings them to the attention of an ancient brotherhood who want them dead. Meanwhile, back in modern times Eleanor gets close to a local, terminally ill lad and the brotherhood closes in once more.

Above all else Byzantium is a pretty unique take on the vampire myth. These creatures have some of the tropes and characteristics we all know and love but more noticeably the complete absence of some really big ones. The way in which these beings are created is also weird and creepy and not at all what is expected. The script by Moira Buffini (based on her play) certainly holds the interest and for most of the running time you are on the edge of your seat.

However Byzantium is fatally flawed by performances that are all over the map. Arterton is good but her performance borders on being Kat Slater from EastEnders, and Ronan is her usually mesmeric self. Sadly Jonny Lee Miller and Caleb Landry-Jones feel like they are in a different film entirely, with Landry-Jones being especially awful. The film drags between the second and final act when it becomes concerned with the love story between Ronan and Landry-Jones’ character and because of his awfulness, it just doesn’t work. Jordan still has an eye for a striking image though and the waterfalls of blood on a remote island are breathtaking on the big screen.

Byzantium is a film that is not as bad as it could have been and not as good as it should have been but somewhere in the middle. It’s still a fascinating entry in one of the more interesting modern filmographies and offers much to enjoy. 

Expected Rating: 6 out of 10

Actual Rating:

Review: Oz – The Great and Powerful / Cert: PG / Director: Sam Raimi / Screenplay: Mitchell Kapner, David Lindsay-Abaire/ Starring: James Franco, Mila Kunis, Rachel Weisz, Zach Braff / Release Date: March 8th

You could be forgiven for being worried about Oz: The Great and Powerful. Coming after the commercial disappointment of the brilliant Drag Me to Hell, this seemed to be Sam Raimi imitating Tim Burton’s woeful take on Alice in Wonderland from a few years back. The good news is that whilst Burton’s film was more concerned with a kind of dark introspection and felt claustrophobic, Oz offers wide vistas and bright fantasy and is wonderfully old-fashioned. For early Raimi die-hards the film also has more in common with Army of Darkness than you might at first think.

We begin in the ’30s and the carnival dustbowl circuit with Oz (Franco) – a small time magician who is something of a cad and smooth talker – having to flee his job due to his womanising ways. His escape in a hot air balloon leads him right into the path of a familiar tornado and he crash lands in the fantastical world of you-know-where. Here he meets good witch Theodora (Kunis), who believes he is the one spoken of in a prophecy who will become king and defeat the wicked witch and free the people. Along with flying monkey Finley (Braff) whose life he saves, he is taken back to the Emerald Kingdom and introduced to Evanora (Weisz), who is suspicious when Oz is seduced by the masses of gold he stands to inherit as king. Oz and Finley set off on their quest and meet another good witch named Glinda (Michelle Williams) and learn that their quest might not be what it seems and Oz will have to rely on more Earthly magic if he is to come out on top.

The more cynical-minded will probably reject this film outright. Instead of dealing in shades of grey, Oz: The Great and Powerful is bright and colourful and the fantasy residents are all either good or evil with very little in between. The characters’ world view is pretty upbeat and positive, which contrasts nicely with Oz himself, who is a little world-weary and beaten down when we first meet him. As for the cornball-heroic dialogue that Franco spouts throughout the film, it wouldn’t have been out of place coming out of Bruce Campbell’s mouth in an Evil Dead sequel. Despite this, the film never feels cheesy and has just the right amount of darkness to balance things out. The flying baboons are the stuff of nightmares, as is a surprise transformation half way through. There will be those that complain it’s too long but the film feels perfectly paced, with Raimi taking his time to let the film unfold and letting his actors convince you of the reality of their world.

Raimi’s best trick of all is to film all of the scenes on Earth in 4:3 ratio in black and white and still allow things to spill out of the frame for threatening effect. When we get to Oz and the frame suddenly expands out to 2:35:1, the sense of wonder is infectious. Virtual backdrops have come a very long way and here the wide-open fantastical vistas blend seamlessly with the performers, allowing for some amazing 3D set-pieces. A flight in a bubble overland to a castle is particularly breathtaking, as is the China Girl character, who seems like the most convincing practical puppet ever but is actually beautifully rendered CGI.

It’s been a while since we have seen a studio fantasy film this satisfying and magical, whilst still retaining a lot of its director’s signature touches (including ram-o-cam!). James Franco is slightly miscast but always seems to be having a good time anyway. Considering what it could have been, Oz: The Great and Powerful is a film to be celebrated and will hopefully reach as many people as possible so we can get a return trip sometime soon.

Expected Rating: 6 out of 10

Actual Rating:

Review: Virtually Heroes / Cert: TBC / Director: G.J. Echterkamp / Screenplay: Matt Yamashita / Starring: Robert Baker, Brent Chase, Katie Savoy, Mark Hamill / Release Date: TBC

At 87, legendary producer Roger Corman keeps discovering new talent and entertaining audiences around the world with his movies. His latest offering Virtually Heroes is a fun, action-packed film reminiscent of the 1990 arcade game NAM-1975, that began the adventure with the classic phrase, “The roar of the helicopters snaps us back into reality. We will never forget the nightmare of that summer… Vietnam… I just don’t want to go back there… ”

It’s an appropriate tribute too as our heroes, Sergeants Brooks and Nova (Baker and Chase) deliver us right into the action from the first frame, battling hoards of marauding enemy soldiers in a version of Vietnam within their video game universe. Their mission: to rescue sexy reporter, Jennifer Hardaway (Savoy) who has been kidnapped by rebel forces.

Recycling footage from Corman’s Filipino-made Vietnam war movies the same way Joe Dante did with his first film, Hollywood Boulevard, Echternkamp does a great job in creating a thrilling environment for his characters and keeping everything bowling along at a fast pace. Just like any video game, our two heroes have an arsenal of exotic weapons to choose from in a magic knapsack in order to fight the overwhelming, endless supply of baddies that keep coming and coming and coming.

Scribe Yamashita does the film poetic justice with enough gaming references to please any fan of the genre, blended with some nice touches of comedic flair. The characters are likeable and there’s plenty of snappy banter between our two heroes. You also get a crazed major reminiscent of Colonel Kurtz from Apocalypse Now, and Mark Hamill as a shaman delivering infinite wisdom to our heroes in their time of need. He’s a cross between Yoda and Obi-Wan Kenobi – perhaps channelling things to come as Luke Skywalker in the future Star Wars movies?

Expected Rating: 6 out of 10

Actual Rating:

Review: John Dies at the End / Cert: 15 / Director: Don Coscarelli / Screenplay: Don Coscarelli / Starring: Chase Williamson, Rob Mayes, Paul Giamatti / Release Date: March 22nd

Going into John Dies at the End, if you’ve read the book by David Wong (who writes for Cracked.com) then you know what you‘re in for. If not, you’re in for a bizarre treat, and don’t worry – the title won’t spoil your enjoyment.

The film centres around the very un-dynamic duo of David (Williamson) and the eponymous John (Mayes) who are a paranormal elimination team – think the Winchester brothers from Supernatural. They find themselves mixed up with a drug called Soy Sauce which, once ingested, allows the user to see and experience things that they should just not be able to. This in turn leads to our protagonists lurching from one misadventure to another. They have to fight an adversary that is made up entirely of meat from a chest freezer; consider whether an axe that has had both its head and shaft replaced is still the same axe that beheaded a man; travel to another dimension to defeat an otherworldly being and try to stay alive long enough to save the world.

David serves as a narrator of sorts, relaying his story to a reporter, Arnie Blondstone (Giamatti), in a restaurant. The incredulous interviewer finds it understandably difficult to stomach David’s tall tales, but he humours him nonetheless. John takes the drug and appears to die, but comes back from the dead to assist David with his investigations into a strange Jamaican man and his struggles with the police who are trying to stop him from finding out the truth. Which it transpires, is that Korrok, a demon from another dimension, wants to know how to cross inter-dimensional planes. Via what appear to be small fly like parasites, bodies are being taken over in our world so that Korrok can become more knowledgeable.

Luckily they’re not in this alone. They have the occasional assistance of Marconi, a stage performer. Also on hand – pardon the pun – is one-handed Amy, who is able to open doors to other dimensions in abandoned shopping malls with her other, ghostly hand. Oh, and let’s not forget Molly, a dog who turns up at the right moments to help when all looks lost.

It all wobbles nicely on the edge of absurdity without quite tipping over, and there are enough moments of lucid humour to make it worth your time. The leads have their eyebrows arched so highly throughout that you fear they might stay like that if the wind ever changed. Everything on show here is totally crazy (as you would expect from Coscarelli, who brought us the Phantasm series as well as Bubba Ho-Tep), but then again it’s amazing that anyone would manage to squeeze an even slightly coherent movie out of the source material. There is a decent supporting cast with the usual dependable performances from the likes of Doug Jones and Clancy Brown. The only thing that lets the film down is the fact that large chunks of the book have been missed out entirely, but that’s down to running time and budget. If you wanted to try and sum this up in a neat little package, we have two words for you: cult classic.

Expected Rating: 7 out of 10

Actual Rating:

Review: Stoker / Cert: 18 / Director: Park Chan-wook / Screenplay: Wentworth Miller, Erin Cressida Wilson / Starring: Mia Wasikowska, Nicole Kidman, Matthew Goode / Release Date: March 1st

Keeping with his usual dark themes, South Korean director Park Chan-wook (Oldboy) makes an assured American debut with this stunning psycho thriller – a cruel, calculated coming of age story that glides elegantly through topics of sexual awakening and fractured family values. It pushes all the right buttons; paying homage to Hitchcock whilst having a distinct, chilling ambience all of its own.

India Stoker is cocooned in a hollow existence, flitting between the woods and a high school where she has no friends. Her only comfort is her close relationship with her father, so when he dies on her eighteenth birthday in a terrible accident, her world crumbles around her and she reacts in the most frightful of ways. India possesses the ability to hear what others cannot, something she has in common with her mysterious Uncle Charlie who comes a-calling after her father’s funeral. The similarities between the two don’t end there; both possess piercing eyes, attract unwanted attention and harbour sordid secrets.

As scripted by Prison Break‘s Wentworth Miller and contributing writer Erin Cressida Wilson (Secretary), India’s move into womanhood is shrouded in confusion and melodrama, with dark tendencies coiling up like poison ivy. She has a fondness for hunting and shies away from human contact, preferring the companionship of her natural surroundings. Wasikowska plays the beguiling leading lady perfectly, as does Kidman as India’s mother – a battered lush who wanders the corridors of her house craving sexual closeness, whilst Goode’s Charlie lurks in the background ready to pounce.

These pitch-perfect performances are complemented by Park’s ability to create a pulsating, tense atmosphere against a stunning backdrop. The eerie, empty house they all inhabit illuminates this family’s wicked web of incestuous desire, India shrinking into its giant furniture in the manner of Alice in Wonderland, its dark and muted décor contrasting beautifully with the balmy, sun-soaked greenery of the woods she prowls, an outward manifestation of her savage blooming. The characters’ silence speaks volumes whilst the chill of classical piano generates waves of intense emotion – loneliness, fear, rage and hysteria.

Park Chan-wook’s bold breakthrough into American cinema surpasses many others who have tried to tread similar territory – provocative, explicit and intense material expertly handled by a modern master.

Expected Rating: 8 out of 10

Actual Rating: