Review Category: Movie

REVIEW: THE LEGEND OF HERCULES / CERT: 12A / DIRECTOR: RENNY HARLIN / SCREENPLAY: DANIEL GIAT, GIULIO STEVE, RENNY HARLIN, SEAN HOOD / STARRING: KELLEN LUTZ, GAIA WEISS, SCOTT ADKINS, ROXANNE MCKEE, LIAM GARRIGAN / RELEASE DATE: OUT NOW

Some films just have to be seen on the big screen. They are made for the experience of movie-going; the scent of popcorn wafting through the auditorium, the speakers thumping against the walls, the hushed tones of anticipation that fill the stadium with that palpable sense of excitement.

And some films are best enjoyed in the comfort of your own home. With you and your closest friends snuggled around the screen, enacting your own pace, laughing without regard and providing your own commentary.

And then there are some films that should just not be viewed in any capacity.

The Legend of Hercules is one of those films.

Director Renny Harlin seems to have bought into the prevailing theory that he cannot direct himself out of an IKEA – which is a shame since Die Hard 2 and The Long Kiss Goodnight are both quality action romps. Harlin now seems adamant to wipe out any good graces the former allowed him with his vision for Hercules, which is perhaps the perfect storm of bad movies.

Getting past the fact that the film offers absolutely nothing new in terms of artistic or technical achievement, it commits the cardinal sin of muddying its allegories, painting Hercules as both a vigilante and a Christ-like redeemer.

After a fairly guttural opening, which introduces the audience in a sweeping manner to the ransacking of Argos, it takes an absolutely spectacular nosedive. The depiction of the Virgin Birth aside, which is hilarious if you’ve ever wondered how Joseph would have reacted walking in on Mary being pleasured in the bedroom by a faceless entity, the film’s first act plods along for what seems like hours. The battle with the Nemean Lion, which in the mythology is the First Labour of Hercules, is casually tossed into a rather confusing set-piece – though you could be forgiven for asking why Hercules is wrestling a ginormous Furby.

And so the film wanders aimlessly from point to point for a distressingly long time. Much like the years following the release of The Matrix, where every other tent pole summer film had a not-so-great bullet time sequence, The Legend of Hercules seems intent on ransacking anything remotely original that has come before it.

Kellen Lutz leads the way as the Grecian Demigod, and proves himself capable of being immortalised in a Twilight standee and not much else. He attempts to channel Russell Crowe, much like the whole films does, but it unfortunately has a lot more in common with Showtime’s Spartacus than it does with anything remotely professional.

You could be forgiven for thinking that The Legend of Hercules might be a fun, throwaway piece of entertainment. But you’d be wrong. Not only does the film last around 45 minutes (once you remove the insanely decadent amount of slow-mo), it makes the unforgiveable error of employing a creative team without a lick of a creative voice.

Then again, if you didn’t get enough nipple action from 300: Rise of an Empire, or have recently suffered some sort of brain injury, then this might just be the movie for you.

Expected Rating: 6 out of 10

Actual Rating:

Review: Noah / Cert: 12A / Director: Darren Aronofsky / Screenplay: Darren Aronofsky, Ari Handel / Starring: Russell Crowe, Jennifer Connelly, Anthony Hopkins, Ray Winstone, Emma Watson, Logan Lerman, Douglas Booth, Nick Nolte, Frank Langella / Release Date: April 7th

Maths, drugs, wrestling, ballet, a millennium of love and death and now a biblical tale: Darren Aronofsky picks a wide variety of subjects for his films, but one thing always present is a breakdown of the human psyche. So,a man chosen by God (or rather, ‘The Creator’ – to the annoyance of many Christians) to build a giant ark to save creation should fit right in.

In an ambiguous time period, Noah (Crowe), his wife Naameh (Connelly) and their sons are living in isolation. Mankind is corrupt and sinful and led by the ruthless King Tubal-Cain (Winstone), who murdered Noah’s father. Noah starts to witness miracles and visions that prompt him to take his family to visit his grandfather Methuselah (Hopkins), a wise old man who also provides some comic relief. On the way they adopt an orphaned, barren girl called Ila (Watson) who they raise as their own. Shortly afterwards they’re also chased by Tubal-Cain’s men, who retreat when they enter the land of The Watchers (Nolte and Langella amongst others), fallen angels turned into monstrous rock-like creatures (think The NeverEnding Story).

With the help of Methuselah and The Watchers, Noah starts to build the ark. So far no one’s seemed against it, and the years pass. His children grow up in the best tree house ever and Ila and one of Noah’s sons, Shem (Booth) become an item, keeping it in the family. The animals arrive and a ‘how will they?’ question is answered straight away. Inevitably the flood and Tubal-Cain and his cannibalistic men arrive, and you suddenly have a hell on Earth that Bosch would be proud of.

This is the best part of the movie – when it is filled with action and lives up to its ambition after much slow burning. But this is an Aronofsky film and it’s not just about a man and his ark. Noah’s sons need wives, especially second eldest Ham (Lerman) who’s feeling a bit lonely. Here enter the subplots that keep the film going, for a bit too long unfortunately. How can the sons have wives if there are no good people left? Doesn’t the Creator (and therefore Noah) want mankind to die? And what if Ila isn’t barren after all? What are the odds of Tubal-Cain getting on that ark? Bet now…

Noah is ambitious but goes on for too long and overcomplicates itself. What could have had a classic simplicity is expanded too much, especially after a promising start. The film seems scared of being too religious or secular, old or modern, and sits somewhere awkwardly in-between. Some special effects work (the flood and battle sequence), some don’t (the ‘tweaked’ animals), and Ray Winstone steals the film playing Ray Winstone. Awkward subjects like incest (and, more importantly, who’s going to clean up all that animal poop?!) are glossed over, focusing more on the turmoil of a man who has to make impossible choices.

An interesting watch, but not quite the epic it could have been.

Expected Rating: 8 out of 10

Actual Rating:

Review: Hatchet III / Cert: 18 / Director: B.J. McDonnell / Screenplay: Adam Green / Starring: Danielle Harris, Kane Hodder, Zach Galligan, Caroline Williams / Release Date: March 31st

With the box office demise of death merchants Jason Voorhees and Freddy Krueger, writer/director Adam Green has certainly done slasher fans a favour with his creation of the Hatchet franchise. Now in his third outing, the deranged, deformed psycho mass murderer Victor Crowley (Hodder) shows no sign of slowing down, despite Green vacating the director’s chair in favour of tyro helmsman B.J. McDonnell.

Yes, Crowley is back, despite being literally bisected vertically with a chain saw as the film opens…or as the last one closed. (We pick up immediately where Hatchet II left off with Marybeth (Harris) performing some none too subtle power tool surgery on Crowley in self defence.) In a twist that not many of the earlier ’80s and ’90s franchise slashers ventured near, Marybeth, as the lone survivor of the murderous onslaught, is actually arrested on suspicion of the slaughter of all the victims of Hatchet II. I always wondered how those final survivors managed to explain everything. In a welcome return to genre films, the local sheriff is played by Zach Galligan who hardly seems to have aged since his Gremlins/Waxworks days.

However, we see that Victor Crowley is no easier a man to put down and keep down than his inspirational predecessor Jason Voorhees, and he’s soon back stomping around in the backwaters and swamps of the Louisiana bayou. It’s Amanda (Caroline Williams – familiar to slasher fans for her roles in Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 and Rob Zombie’s Halloween II) who holds the key to a solution to the problem of a killer who can’t be killed.

Speaking as a firm fan of the Friday the 13th films, it truly is great to see the imposing and intimidating form of Kane Hodder back in murderous form, executing some of the nastiest “kills” to be seen in a horror film – including here a memorable penetrating punch to the stomach, grabbing the spine and yanking out the backbone and skull. Speaking of Friday the 13th, trivia lovers will no doubt be interested to learn that Derek Mears, who played the role of Jason in the 2009 reboot, has a substantial role in this as the SWAT team leader commanding the search and recovery team investigating the recent massacres (who unsurprisingly provide Crowley with some new victims). There’s also a fan-pleasing role for genre favourite Sid Haig, and a “blink and you’ll miss it” fleeting cameo for a character from the first Hatchet whose identity I won’t reveal here. While making no real sense, it’s a nice touch.

The Hatchet films have succeeded by mixing chills and copious amounts of gore with well-written fast, slick and funny dialogue. Yes, the situations and the characters are indeed clichéd; Hatchet creator Adam Green, who has a non-speaking cameo early in the film, knows this, and rather than provide tired old scenarios we’re all familiar with ad nauseum, Green has, so far created a trilogy that celebrates this subgenre while adding some self-deprecating humour. Effectively, we’re not mocking the cliché, we’re not laughing at the films and its improbable situations – we’re laughing along with them, and enjoying more than a fair share of jolts along the way.

With the plot device now firmly established that Crowley is indestructible, there’s no reason why there can’t be a Hatchet IV and beyond, and as long as they’re as much fun to watch as this one, featuring some laugh-out loud lines and strong characterisations, I’m looking forward to seeing more of them. You really can’t beat all-out escapist entertainment with a smirk on its face and a hatchet in its hand.

Extras: None

Review: Muppets Most Wanted / Cert: U / Director: James Bobin / Screenplay: James Bobin, Nicholas Stoller / Starring: Ricky Gervais, Steve Whitmire, Eric Jacobson, Tina Fey, Ty Burrell / Release Date: March 28th

Back in 2011, James Bobin’s film The Muppets swept audiences off on a happy nostalgia trip, taking long-time fans back to their childhood and introducing newer generations to Jim Henson’s sensational, inspirational, celebrational, muppetational host of characters. Since the ’70s the Muppets have been on a great many capers – from road trips to treasure hunts – and now James Bobin is back with this sequel to his reboot. Bobin’s film showed us that Kermit and co still have a place in cinemas and furthermore revealed just how much many of us missed them. So has Bobin captured the magic once again?

Taking place straight after the last film, Muppets Most Wanted sees the gang acquire a new tour manager in Ricky Gervais’ shady Dominic Badguy (you’re ahead already, aren’t you?). Under his suggestion, the gang go on a lavish world tour, but the world’s most dangerous frog, Constantine (issue 398’s cover star) has escaped and in a case of mistaken identity Kermit is arrested and Constantine imitates him on the tour, all in an attempt to pull off the biggest crime of the century. Will the gang uncover this green doppelganger? Or will Kermit be trapped in the inescapable Siberian Gulag?

Muppets Most Wanted is a sequel that chooses to make things bigger, and whilst that does not always indicate better, this globetrotting crime adventure is every bit as enjoyable as you would expect. The jokes are fast, vivacious and constantly irreverent, with Bobin and Stoller’s screenplay embellishing its musical trappings, creating some wicked tracks that will make even the tone deaf among you tap a foot (webbed or otherwise). Whereas the last film chose to focus on the past contrasted the present and how we all need a bit of vintage in our lives, this film takes the comeback of Muppetmania and grounds it in celebrity culture (especially the final third). The jokes may not all work but the ones that don’t are outnumbered by those that do. As for the celebrity cameos (which many cited as not starry enough last time around), they are pretty impressive (a film where Christoph Waltz does the waltz and where Usher appears as an usher, is somehow impossible to dislike!).

Certain fans may disapprove of some the occasional bigger effects used and the notable lack of Jason Segal/Amy Adams-esque warm human leads (although Tina Fey’s Russian prison guard Nadya, is terrifically barmy) but this is the Muppets’ show and they are as loveable as ever. Ricky Gervais actually remains somewhat restrained in the film (which may disappoint some but it is actually a wise tactic, allowing the zany critters to bounce off him – sometimes literally). The puppet work is astounding in parts, and all the crew are present including Kermit, Fozzie Bear, Miss Piggy, Animal and Walter (introduced in the last film), with a bigger part this time for the stone-faced Sam the Eagle (whose on-screen partnership with Ty Burrell’s Interpol inspector is hilarious). Even those Muppet characters that don’t get big parts are allowed their comic zingers (the best of which may be Statler and Waldorf’s misinterpretation of a Berlin billboard). Although it is the villain Constantine who is the greatest find of this sequel, an old school moustache-twirling (or mole stroking in this case) baddie and the driving force for the occasionally unstructured country-hopping plot.

Muppets Most Wanted is like a stage show the director was too entertained to call “cut” on and while this means the craziness is stretched a bit at 113 minutes, audiences will emerge pleased. Bret McKenzie again pens some cracking musical numbers that progress the narrative and feel welcome as opposed to stuffed in. This is a film that does not far exceed expectations, but, like one of Fozzie’s gags, delivers exactly what you expect. Most will come away cheery, humming and more than ready to attend the next great Muppet caper.

Expected Rating: 8 out of 10

Actual Rating:

Miss our MUPPET special? Don’t worry, you can still get it for your tablet device! Click on Constantine to grab yours…

REVIEW: CAPTAIN AMERICA – THE WINTER SOLDIER / CERT: 12A / DIRECTOR: ANTHONY RUSSO, JOE RUSSO / SCREENPLAY: CHRISTOPHER MARKUS, STEPHEN MCFEELY / STARRING: CHRIS EVANS, SCARLETT JOHANSSON, SEBASTIAN STAN, ANTHONY MACKIE, COBIE SMULDERS, FRANK GRILLO, EMILY VANCAMP, HAYLEY ATWELL, ROBERT REDFORD, SAMUEL L. JACKSON / RELEASE DATE: MARCH 26TH

Marvel must have a hell of a lot of confidence in The Winter Soldier. Before it’s even out in the theatres, they’ve announced that the Captain’s third solo adventure will be released the same day as Warner’s forthcoming Batman/Superman face-off. Fortunately their confidence is well placed because, for the most part, The Winter Soldier is a bigger, better movie than its predecessor, and one of the strongest entries in the MCU to date.

From the opening setpiece, which sees the Cap, accompanied by Scarlett Johansson’s Black Widow, lead a S.H.I.E.L.D. strike team to free hostages on a terrorist-commandeered ship, this feels like a very different movie than the studio has attempted before; closer to Bourne or Bond than previous Marvel entries. It’s also, and somewhat strangely considering its directors Anthony and Joe Russo are best known for comedies like Arrested Development, the most serious of the studio’s movies to date.

Setting the action, barring a few flashbacks, in the present day, it’d be very easy for the film to play the fish out of water card again, especially given the rather abrupt end to Rogers’ previous solo outing. Wisely it largely avoids going down this route (although kudos for mentioning Nirvana and Sean Connery on the Cap’s list of things he needs to catch up on), and instead focuses on another aspect of Captain America that’s out of date in the 21st Century – his moral compass.

One of the biggest cinematic drawbacks of the character is how strait-laced he is. Like Superman, he’s largely fighting for truth, justice and the American way. But what happens in a world where the American way is no longer straightforward? In the case of Superman, the result was to darken the character, with mixed results, in last year’s Man of Steel. The Winter Soldier goes down a different route. In a world where S.H.I.E.L.D. is advocating hi-tech, pre-emptive strikes against its enemies, Rogers’ 1940s sense of right and wrong comes into sharp conflict with the realities of 21st century politics.

This is the most political, complicated Marvel movie to date. Yes, Tony Stark has fought terrorists, but here the line between right and wrong is more ambiguous. When we live in a time where suspected terrorists are routinely targeted by drone strikes, this is the closest Marvel Studios has come to dealing with real world issues.

The other main drawback of the character is, frankly, he’s not the most exciting superhero in Marvel’s armoury. Lacking Tony Stark’s humour and cool gadgets, or Bruce Banner’s ability to hulk out, or even Thor’s absurdity, he can, despite Chris Evans’ admirable efforts, come across as a little bland. Fortunately the film counteracts this by making full use of its impressive ensemble cast. Samuel L. Jackson’s Nick Fury gets by far his most screen time to date, including a superb, mid-movie action setpiece, and more importantly, we finally get a Pulp Fiction reference. Similarly, the superb Scarlett Johansson gets almost as big a role as Evans (seriously Marvel, stop messing about and make a Black Widow movie. She’s more than earned it). It’s almost as big an ensemble piece as The Avengers, with only Anthony Mackie’s Falcon really failing to make much of an impression. We’re also treated to an impressive array of supporting characters, both familiar (Garry Shandling’s slimy senator, Maria Hill, and an all too brief return for Peggy Carter), new (Alan Dale manages to cross off another name from his ever dwindling list of major franchises he hasn’t appeared in), as well as the now obligatory surprise cameo during one of two end credit scenes.

After already battling Hydra and alien invaders, Captain America’s third cinematic outing sees something rotten inside S.H.I.E.L.D. After voicing concerns about the organisation’s new, darker direction to Fury’s boss Alexander Pierce (a superbly slimy Robert Redford. Good to have you back, sir) all hell breaks loose, with Rogers and Fury targeted by hit squads and super assassin the Winter Soldier.

The titular character is effectively sinister, a seemingly unstoppable, Terminator-style force. Giving us bits and pieces of his backstory, he remains largely an enigma. Yes, we find out his origin (largely consistent with his comic appearances) but little beyond that. The film makes the wise decision not to overuse him, having him appear in short, effective bursts before unleashing him fully in the finale.

And it’s in the finale that things finally start to stutter. There’s nothing bad about it, it’s just that up until that point, it’s easy to forget you’re watching another superhero movie. It’s only when we reach the climax, and things revert to one of Marvel’s now obligatory epic battles, that things start to feel like we’ve been here before.

For the most part though, it’s a bold movie, and one that has actual implications for the MCU. It’ll be interesting to see how the faltering Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. in particular deals with the fallout. It’s an entertaining, different addition to Marvel’s canon, and all the better for it. Whether the Captain is a strong enough solo character to take on Batman and Superman though is another matter entirely. May 2016 is going to be very interesting indeed.

Expect Rating: 7 out of 10

Actual Rating:

Review: Khumba – A Zebra’s Tale / Cert: U / Director: Anthony Silverston / Screenplay: Rafaella Delle Donne, Anthony Silverston / Starring: Liam Neeson, Jake T. Austin, Steve Buscemi, Laurence Fishburne, Richard E. Grant, Catherine Tate / Release Date: April 11th

Heard the one about the zebra with only half his stripes? Never mind, it wasn’t very funny anyway. Khumba: A Zebra’s Tale is a South African 3D animation where the laughs are even more scarce than the water in the drought-inflicted desert where Khumba and his zebra tribe live.

When Khumba, the half-striped zebra, is born, his superstitious herd blame him for the drying up of their safely enclosed water hole in the middle of the Karoo desert. After his mother dies and a silent but sage praying mantis leaves Khumba a map to a mythological magic water hole, Khumba sets out on a journey to discover himself and hopefully earn his stripes. Along the way he meets a sassy wildebeest, flamboyant ostrich, confused springboks and has to evade hungry evil leopard Phango.

When the night sky is the most interesting part of a film, you know there is a problem. Though it shares DNA with the likes of The Lion King, Madagascar and Finding Nemo, Khumba has little of the charm, wit or loveable characters of any of these. Children are spoiled with great animated films these days, and though Khumba looks pretty and has some good voice work (particularly from Liam Neeson), it will struggle to hold the attention of even the most patient kiddies.

Adults might find the odd bit of distraction in the starlit skies, stunning landscapes and beautiful sunsets but there is little in the script or the story to make this trip through the desert worth taking. The message of respecting and celebrating diversity is lost beneath the silliness and though there are Australian bunnies, Scottish eagles and British ostriches, the African voice cast are sadly sidelined in forgettable supporting roles.

Richard E. Grant is on comic relief duties but mostly falls flat on his ostrich face, Catherine Tate pops up as a disturbed sheep (more sad than funny) and Laurence Fishburne is wasted as Khumba’s boring one-note father. Only Liam Neeson and Steve Buscemi seem to chew on their roles, with Neeson given a character that teeters on the brink of becoming truly interesting. Kids will be amused by some of the other characters Khumba meets along the way, with the South African springboks being particularly funny in a single scene but most viewers will also be aware of having seen it all before.

Apart from the occasional visual flourish (the night sky, the ghostly flashbacks and Phango’s smell-o-vision point of view), there is little to hold the attention. For a comedy about a zebra lacking in stripes, Khumba could have done with a few more good lines.

Expected Rating: 5 out of 10

Actual Rating:

Review: Europa Report / Cert: 15 / Director: Sebastian Cordero / Screenplay: Philip Gelatt / Starring: Sharlto Copley, Michael Nyqvist, Christian Carmargo / Release Date: Out Now (VOD/Digital Download only)

Low budget sci-fi films, when done right, can be brilliant. You don’t always need bells and whistles to sell a story – Moon is a perfect example. Europa Report tries to showcase the loneliness of space and repeat the critical success of the lunar-based feature from Duncan Jones. Only this time, the story unfolds aboard the Europa One, a specially built spacecraft that is on its way to one of Jupiter’s moons, Europa, where it is believed that life may exist under the frozen tundra.

The trick here is that the found footage genre has a new subgenre – the delayed footage movie. Contact is lost with the ship during its journey and the Earth-bound men and women in charge of the mission are left wondering if the craft is still going. The question is answered when contact is finally established and the feed is serendipitously received right at the end of the film.

As obvious fans of sci-fi here at Starburst, it’s a real shame when we have to give an honest opinion on things that we so want to like, but end up disappointing us. There is so much wrong with Europa Report, it’s difficult to know where to start.

There is little to no character development throughout the running time. There is zero tension, and you are given no pointers that the mission is going to end up as disastrously as it does. When characters die, there’s no real connection for the viewer, you don’t miss them as you don’t really know them.

The science on show is apparently realistic, but that does not excuse the dullness of the story. You are constantly waiting for something to happen, and when it does, it’s a damp squib. Ironically, the fact that the build-up is so badly handled means that the running time is mercifully short. You have to wonder if it would have been much more interesting even if they had bothered to flesh out the characters. Let’s face it, we knew the crew of the Nostromo and cared what happened to them, but this is no Alien.

Perhaps it is most telling that Paramount haven’t bothered to put together a full retail release for this. This is one mission that should have been scrapped before blastoff. 

Expected Rating: 6 out of 10

Actual Rating:

Review: The Zero Theorem / Cert: 15 / Director: Terry Gilliam / Screenplay: Pat Rushin / Starring: Christoph Waltz, Mélanie Thierry, David Thewlis, Lucas Hedges, Matt Damon, Ben Whishaw, Tilda Swinton / Release Date: March 14th

The meaning of life, the universe and everything is not, in fact, 42 as Douglas Adams once suggested. Actually, it all means nothing. Zilch. Nada. Zero. That’s the theory director Terry Gilliam is going with in his latest foray into science fiction dystopia land with The Zero Theorem.

Christoph Waltz is Qohen Leth, a bald man who refers to himself in the plural and insists that he is dying due to his hair loss and crumbling mental state. Living in a dilapidated old church to block out the bright, frantic, noisy world of the future, Leth is a miserable number-cruncher determined to convince Management (Matt Damon) to let him work at home due to his health problems. When he is granted his disability request and given the task of solving the elusive zero theorem from home, Management sends in lusty call girl Bainsley (Mélanie Thierry) and teenage whizz kid Bob (Lucas Hedges) to help stop him from disappearing down into a black hole of despair.

Terry Gilliam, it seems, thinks little of the future, little of the state of human existence and little of what makes your average cinema goer happy. There is next to nothing here that will satisfy mainstream audiences but plenty to get your grey matter wrapped around if you are looking for something a little more substantial, if utterly quizzical. Oddly for a film about the meaning of nothing, The Zero Theorem is rich with detail and could in fact be about everything. Love, life, sex, death, religion, technology, existence, creation and control; it’s all here in a deceptively simple set up.

Though The Zero Theorem rarely leaves Leth’s ramshackle old church and Waltz is barely off screen, it is about more than just a man waiting for the phone to ring. The deluded Leth is a workaholic waiting for someone to give meaning to his life. When his supervisor Joby (David Thewlis) invites him to parties, he hides away from the other guests. When Bainsley comes into his life, he cannot connect with her until it becomes a virtual relationship. Only the teenage Bob can help Leth understand his futile search for meaning and recognise the things in life that might actually be worth working for.

When Leth does go outside however, it is easy to see why he wishes to stay indoors. The future of The Zero Theorem is a loud, impersonal, hectic nightmare of bright colours, invasive advertising and people glued to their personal hand-held devices Management watches over everything, with CCTV cameras constantly recording, and advances in technology have only made life and work ever harder to separate.

Gilliam uses visual effects wonderfully, with detailed production design making The Zero Theorem a film you could immediately watch again. The sets, locations, costumes and props are all lovingly created, even if they sometimes look as though Gilliam’s vision of the future has not moved on since he made Brazil almost 30 years ago. However, Waltz and Melanie Thierry wield real emotional heft, so that the style is almost matched by the substance. Waltz in particular is utterly convincing as Leth, his long face and often naked body complementing a master class performance in misery. Thierry will get a lot of attention for her array of outstandingly sexy costumes but fortunately the heart, soul and sweetness of Bainsley is eventually given time to emerge from beneath the bubbly sex kitten exterior.

The Zero Theorem is Gilliam clearly in his comfort zone. It is deliberately and confidently weird and wacky. For anyone who has questioned the meaning of existence, staring out into a black void and realising that all human life is essentially meaningless, you will be sure to find a kindred spirit in Leth. The fact that The Zero Theorem also finds humour and heart in its story of soul-sucking emptiness just shows what a wonderful filmmaker Gilliam can be.

Expected Rating: 8 out of 10

Actual Rating:

Review: Under the Skin / Cert: 15 / Director: Jonathan Glazer / Screenplay: Walter Campbell, Jonathan Glazer / Starring: Scarlett Johansson, Antonia Campbell-Hughes, Paul Brannigan / Release Date: March 14th

Hollywood superstars tackling unusual roles, in arty films, perhaps shot in unusual locations too, isn’t anything particularly new. However, the usually glamorous and drop-dead gorgeous Scarlett Johansson dressed not too dissimilar to a lady of the night and driving around the council estates of Glasgow, in a crappy workman’s van, must surely take first prize in sheer WTF-ness? That she’s also playing a man-eating-alien-in-disguise is the proverbial cherry on top.

Director Jonathan Glazer has taken Michel Faber’s satirical novel, Under the Skin, and crafted a cult-classic-in-the-making sci-fi drama. It’s a very moody work of art that could well be as much a dissection of the concept ‘movie star as an otherworldly being’ as it is an existential fantasy about a visitor from another planet. Johansson’s performance is quite brilliant and toys with the creepiness and shallowness of the male gaze and accompanying desires in a way that give the narrative huge thematic resonance, even if some will struggle with a movie that demands your absolute attention.

The alien has clearly picked up lessons in Base Male Fantasy 101 by observing what is most likely to turn Earthling dudes on. So, the extraterrestrial ‘black widow’ appears in the guise of what looks like, well, a hooker. Appearances and deceptions not only propel Under the Skin’s narrative, they also inform the very casting of Johansson. To further enhance the sheer otherworldliness of watching a trashy-looking American actress wander around Glaswegian streets unnoticed, Glazer inserts what look very much like ‘stolen shots’. The alien might be noticed as a looker – by shoppers, both male and female, stealing a glance and caught by the camera doing so – but the electric frisson we feel is the breaking down of the fourth wall. It’s Scarlett Johansson in a city centre shopping mall!

The seduction scenes are funny, comically cruel even, and later on, during a chance encounter with a man suffering from what looks like Proteus syndrome, poignant. The blokes she kidnaps can’t quite believe their luck, in fact. They don’t stop once to ponder the utter artificiality of the scenario nor recognise their impending doom in the liquid chamber of a discreetly hidden spaceship (disguised as a derelict house). Minimalist and opaque it may well be, but Glazer draws surrealist humour from the material. Take a good look at the ‘men’ that assist in the ‘female’ alien’s mission to harvest food: they ride around on motorcycles, dress up in leathers and, most importantly, wear helmets with visors – they’re spacemen in plain sight!

Fans of mainstream sci-fi might not get on with Under the Skin. It is a far cry from the enjoyable romp that was Avengers Assemble (2012) or even Spike Jonze’s recent Oscar-winning dramedy, Her, which featured Johansson’s husky voice as Samantha, an operating system that gives Joaquin Phoenix’s sadsack character the tinglies.

Expected Rating: 7 out of 10

Actual Rating:

Review: The Raid 2 / Cert: 18 / Director: Gareth Evans / Screenplay: Gareth Evans / Starring: Iko Uwais, Arifin Putra, Tio Pakusodewo / Release Date: April 11th

The Raid 2 is a tour de force of story and action filmmaking by Welsh-born Evans that ranks up there with the works of masters such as John Woo, Seijin Suzuki and Beat Takeshi.

Opening two hours after The Raid ended, we find Rama (Uwais) and the two other survivors taking sanctuary in a safe house run by an undercover rogue detective with an agenda to rid the city of corrupt cops and their criminal conspirators. Reluctantly, Rama takes the assignment to pose as a prisoner named Yuda in order to get close to Uco (Putra), a crime boss’ son, and penetrate his father’s organisation, exposing the dirty cops. Told it’ll be a six month undercover job, Rama learns while in prison that a corrupt judge has sentenced him to serve out his cover crime’s sentence in full… three years.

During an insane, muddy prison fight in the rain, Rama saves Uco’s life and is later indoctrinated into the gang after serving his sentence. It’s here Rama enters a world of double and triple-crosses. Who is friend and who is foe, and how deep will Rama use his cover in order to get justice? As Rama learns, there’s no such thing as a clean war in this world.

Evans has created a plethora of memorable adversaries for our conflicted hero to face, including a homeless, caveman-like assassin, the Baseball Bat Man (who carries a bat and ball with the names of his victims on it), and Hammer Girl (a kickass, double-hammer-wielding killer). The cast, cinematography and sound are all to be commended; there’s no lack of expertly choreographed, bone-crunching fight sequences on offer; and the shoot-outs will impress even the most demanding of action fans. The Raid 2 is that rarest of sequels – one that miraculously manages to improve on its predecessor.

Expected Rating: 7 out of 10

Actual Rating: