REVIEW: IN ORDER OF DISAPPEARANCE / CERT: 15 / DIRECTOR: HANS PETTER MOLAND / SCREENPLAY: KIM FUPZ AAKESON / STARRING: STELLAN SKARSGÅRD, BRUNO GANZ, PÅL SVERRE HAGEN / RELEASE DATE: OUT NOW

In Order of Disappearance is a smart revenge thriller with a healthy dose of black comedy.

Nils (Skarsgård) is a snow-plough driver in Norway, leading a fairly quiet and productive existence that results in him being awarded a Citizen of the Year prize. When his innocent son is murdered by a drugs gang, a suicidal Nils sets out for revenge. The premise is basic but effective – and contains some clever plot twists along the way. Against the stunning backdrop of the snowy Norwegian mountains, Nils begins a bloody journey that sees him take on a psychotic drug lord known as the Count (Hagen) and a Serbian crime boss called Papa (Ganz).

Skarsgård comes across as a Swedish Liam Neeson in action that wouldn’t look out of place in a Tarantino movie. He doesn’t ham it up but shows the disenchantment, tiredness and determination of a man who wants justice. Ganz is magnificent as always and there is a great variety of supporting characters who each have their moments, with some intelligently written dialogue.

The film contains several quirky touches – including humorous title credits – to offset the moments of drama, tragedy and conflict, and Morland seems to hint at some hidden metaphors (a waterfall for one). The ending may be strange for some, but this is a movie as fresh as the snow that fills it.

Expected Rating: 7 out of 10

Actual Rating:

REVIEW: A MILLION WAYS TO DIE IN THE WEST / CERT: 15 / DIRECTOR: SETH MACFARLANE / SCREENPLAY: SETH MACFARLANE, ALEC SULKIN, WELLESLEY WILD / STARRING: SETH MACFARLANE, CHARLIZE THERON, AMANDA SEYFRIED, NEIL PATRICK HARRIS, GIOVANNI RIBISI, SARAH SILVERMAN, LIAM NEESON / RELEASE DATE: OUT NOW

In all honesty, when Family Guy creator Seth MacFarlane’s successful directorial film Ted was heavily used in the promotion of this one, the alarm bells started ringing. If you are expecting a film as funny as that, please expel such a thought from your head, unless you enjoy crushing disappointment. A Million Ways to Die in the West is MacFarlane’s The Hangover Part II, in that it’s a film that follows up a hit with a low-on-laughs misfire. The plot sees sheep farmer Albert (MacFarlane) struggling to cope with life in the dangerous Wild West. When his girlfriend Louise (Seyfried) dumps him, that’s the last straw – until he meets a rootin’-tootin’ soulmate in Anna (Theron). But it just so happens that she is the wife of one of the west’s most dangerous gunslingers, Clinch Leatherwood (Neeson).

There’s a distinct whiff of Blazing Saddles here (Joel McNeely’s opening credits in particular sing from the same hymn sheet), but sadly it feels as if the writers watched Mel Brooks’ movie in fast-forward. The look of the film (sets, costumes, props) is spot on and there are smatterings of potential throughout, but the lazy scripting drags the whole thing down. The wit, panache and fizz of the best genre comedy is absent and despite some promising moments of self-referentiality (in too short supply), the film (much like David Gordon Green’s fantasy comedy Your Highness) mistakes sex, profanity and filth for flawless writing. There is nothing wrong with crude comedy but this offers little but titters at best.

However, the biggest crime is not even the film’s flat laugh rate. The cast is strewn with stars but A Million Ways to Die in the West finds a million ways to misuse them. MacFarlane is a fantastic voice actor but his onscreen persona needs serious work and thus casting him as the lead was a bad move. Albert is hapless and pathetic but never especially likeable as a central character. Amanda Seyfried is here merely for a joke to be made about the size of her eyes, Liam Neeson fits the genre as well as you’d expect but he is underused as the main antagonist and Neil Patrick Harris as Foy (Louise’s new moustachioed boyfriend) only really shits in a hat. It’s lucky then that we have Theron to liven up proceedings. In one of her first comedy roles, she is excellent and in truth a bit too good for this film. In many ways the dedication of this cast rescue this film from being a total embarrassment, as do an impressive list of cameos – admittedly most are pointless but one appearance from a time-jumping franchise regular is undoubtedly excellent and perhaps the movie’s best moment!

A Million Ways to Die in the West isn’t the worst film of the year, but it’s a ham-fisted, lazy and unfunny effort. Even for fans of MacFarlane, this is a feeble and rather lazy effort that feels like a stage show that Max Bialystock and Leo Bloom from The Producers would have made – in fact, one drug hallucination sequence in the film may as well be known as ‘spring time for Albert’. Wait for Ted 2 or the next series of Family Guy instead, because this is obviously just a time waster until then. Call it an opportunity waste-Ted.

Expected Rating: 6 out of 10

Actual Rating:

REVIEW: THE ANOMALY / CERT: 15 / DIRECTOR: NOEL CLARKE / SCREENPLAY: SIMON LEWIS / STARRING: NOEL CLARKE, IAN SOMERHALDER, LUKE HEMSWORTH, BRIAN COX / RELEASED: JULY 4TH

The Anomaly opens with Ryan (Clarke) in the back of a van with a young child. It emerges that the child’s mother was killed by some men in red masks and that he was taken captive after that. Ryan breaks out of the van with the child as they look to make their escape. Ian Somerhalder’s Harkin gives chase to the duo. Ryan, with no memory of how he got into this situation, is soon revealed to be holding one of the aforementioned red masks. And with that, The Anomaly’s one trick is revealed. Clarke’s character only has a limited amount of consciousness before he essentially disappears and wakes up elsewhere, all the while trying to work out what exactly is going on.

As Ryan wades his way through Russian mobsters, terrorism operatives, scientists and hookers, he is trying to figure out just why this is happening to him and what the endgame of all of this is. Thanks to a convoluted mishmash of a plot, The Anomaly starts with promise but then becomes massively repetitive very quickly. Within the first 20 minutes or so, the film just seems to play the same scenes over and over but in different locations. Wake up, realise what’s happening, brawl, lose consciousness, lather, rinse, repeat. That’s pretty much the film in a nutshell.

Initially, The Anomaly has a little bit of a Quantum Leap charm to its “awakening in strange places”, and there’s even a sense of Fight Club meets The Matrix in the movie’s first few fist fights. But, as mentioned, it just becomes as repetitive as a Saturday night kebab after a few too many Newcastle Brown Ales. Every fight scene, and there are plenty, features a ridiculous overuse of slow motion techniques. It’s as if Clarke and his crew have just seen The Matrix and the whole bullet-time thing and realised how good it looks. Thing is, this isn’t 1999 and a whole host have been there, imitated that, then moved on.

As for the performances, Brian Cox is criminally underutilised as the man behind all of Ryan’s issues, Somerhalder’s eyes sparkle but his performance stumbles through the same sort of wooden territory that is usually reserved for Keanu Reeves, Clarke does well when he gets the chance to do more than just punch and wince, and the supporting performances range from annoying (Luke Hemsworth’s cocksure terrorism agent) to sultry (Alexis Knapp’s hooker-with-a-heart) to migraine-inducing bad accents (Michael Bisping’s Russian mobster).

It’s a shame that The Anomaly falls so flat so quickly. The film has a decent opening, some well-choreographed brawls, and a relatively unique premise. Sadly it suffers from trying to be too clever and from a plot that quickly becomes tiresome.

Expected Rating: 6 out of 10

Actual Rating:

REVIEW: OCULUS / CERT: 15 / DIRECTOR: MIKE FLANAGAN / SCREENPLAY: JEFF HOWARD, MIKE FLANAGAN / STARRING: KAREN GILLAN, BRENDON THWAITES, KATEE SACKHOFF / RELEASE DATE: JUNE 13TH

A grim, gory and unsettling suburban horror which reaches into the depths of human fear to reveal only darkness, director Mike Flanagan’s new film traverses similar ground to his previous feature Absentia, looking to past trauma and familial relationships for inspiration once again with a disturbing tale revolving around a grand and ominous Bavarian black cedar mirror.

Though the crux of what Oculus is dealing with is genuinely upsetting – abuse, infidelity and mental illness – Flanagan remembers to have a sense of humour towards the start of the film before it gets into truly distressing territory. He presents a brother and sister wildly at odds with each other when it comes to their family history, who prod and poke at one another like a highly strung Mulder and Scully. Karen Gillan delivers exposition at an exponentially fast rate as Kaylie, the Mulder type with strong beliefs. Tim blames the deterioration of family circumstances on his father doing awful things whilst Kaylie believes supernatural phenomena are to blame. A cursed mirror that Kaylie has tracked through time to prove her theory provides the menacing centre to which they gravitate, as they undertake an experiment eleven years after tragedy pulled them apart at their family home, with Flanagan switching between time frames, looking to both the past and the present of the siblings for clues.

The Shining is a big influence here, with a father locked up in his office working, and the confined location of the family home being where most of the terrorising takes place. Flanagan uses grotesque visuals sparsely, relying on the relationship between siblings Kaylie and Tim to be the arena for the horrifying events that play out. Given that both are inclined to a distorted view of reality, you’re never quite sure of what’s real or what’s not, but either way you choose to interpret it, it’s grisly.

Disorientating fever pitch is reached by the end as the two timelines intertwine thanks to neat editing and crisp sound effects (the crunch of glass in one scene being particularly effective). With solid performances – especially from Katee Sackhoff and newcomer Annaise Basso – and compelling subject matter, Oculus is a suspenseful, tight and wonderfully executed horror which proves Flanagan’s flair for the genre and marks him as exciting talent to watch.

Expected Rating: 6 out of 10

Actual Rating:

REVIEW: MALEFICENT / CERT: 12A / DIRECTOR: ROBERT STROMBERG / SCREENPLAY: LINDA WOOLVERTON / STARRING: ANGELINA JOLIE, SHARLTO COPLEY, ELLE FANNING, SAM RILEY, IMELDA STAUNTON, LESLEY MANVILLE, JUNO TEMPLE / RELEASE DATE: OUT NOW

Sometimes we all need a bit of magic in our lives; there must be more to movies than spandex superheroes, giant space aliens, scaly monsters and big stomping robots. Maleficent is a welcome antidote to Hollywood’s torrential tide of more-of-the-same summer blockbusters and, despite its orgy of CGI and largely-forgettable 3D (2D screenings are available), it’s a refreshing throwback to the classic Disney era of wicked witches, terrible spells, beautiful enchanted princesses and slapstick fairies. Oh, and it’s got Angelina Jolie…

Angelina is quite simply magnificent as Maleficent; it’s impossible to imagine anybody else imbuing the character – the Mistress of All Evil from the classic Sleeping Beauty fairytale – with the heady mixture of twisted venom and genuine pathos Jolie manages to conjure up. Her look is very much inspired by Disney’s own 1959 Sleeping Beauty animated feature – her cheekbones are so sharp they could cut steak – but her Maleficent is much more three-dimensional and the whole point of the movie is to explain what turned her to the Dark Side in the first place and to offer the hope of redemption for even the blackest heart. Betrayed in love as a delicate fairy hopping and skipping about the moors which are her home, Maleficent vows to use her magical powers against the humans who preside over the Kingdom from their glittering castle. When her first (and only) love Stefan (Copley) becomes King, she vows revenge by bestowing a terrible curse upon his first-born, the baby Aurora. To avoid the curse – Aurora will be plunged into an eternity of sleep when she pricks her finger on the spindle of a spinning wheel on her sixteenth birthday, a sleep from which she can only be roused by “true love’s kiss” – Stefan sends the child off into the custody of three ditzy pixies (Staunton, Manville, Temple) until her sixteenth birthday and beyond. But when Maleficent happens across the curious child on the moors as she starts to grow up, her frostiness turns into something entirely different – but the irreversible curse is still looming…

Maleficent is absolutely charming. Linda Woolverton’s script adds meat to the bones of its lead character and yet stays true to the Sleeping Beauty story itself (albeit with one or two fresh twists unlikely to infuriate purists) and the film crackles with lively performances. Jolie dominates but Copley is good growly value as the surly King, Staunton and co provide decent comic relief as the pixies (although they look a bit eerie in miniature) and Brendon Thwaites is suitably wide-eyed as Phillip the prince who might (or might not) be Aurora’s true love. Only Elle Fanning draws the short straw in the largely-thankless role of perpetually-cheery Aurora.

Despite its occasional hints of darkness – tiny children might find the tree-monster battle and fire-breathing dragon a bit too intense – Maleficent, which gets in and gets the job done in just over ninety minutes, is a genuine feel-good family-friendly treat, a little bit of   magic in an often-mechanical and by-the-numbers modern world of movie-making. A Jolie good effort, you might say…

Expected Rating: 6 out of 10

Actual Rating: 

REVIEW: EDGE OF TOMORROW / CERT: 12A / DIRECTOR: DOUG LIMAN / SCREENPLAY: CHRISTOPHER MCQUARRIE, JEZ BUTTERWORTH, JOHN-HENRY BUTTERWORTH, HIROSHI SAKURAZAKA / STARRING: TOM CRUISE, EMILY BLUNT, BRENDAN GLEESON, BILL PAXTON, TONY WAY / RELEASE DATE: MAY 30TH

Despite the storytelling and editing possibilities inherent in the concept of “Groundhog Day meets Independence day“, Doug Liman’s Edge of Tomorrow starts traditionally enough with news footage of the arrival of the alien Mimics on Earth and humanity’s response, featuring Cruise’s photogenic Major Cage drumming up support for Brendan Gleeson’s United Defence Force.

After a disagreement over keeping his neck safely away from the front line, Cage is summarily demoted and dispatched to the front lines as part of a D-Day style landing in Mimic-occupied France, a battle he is woefully unprepared and untrained for, not even knowing how to disable the safety on his high tech “jacket” power suit/weapons platform – a battle that results in both humanity’s defeat and his death. And then… he wakes up. Cage starts the day again. Then he dies again. Then he “resets” yet again. Thanks to an encounter with a particular type of Mimic, Cage has discovered the secret to their overwhelming victories: a form of time travel.

Like Bill Murray’s character in Groundhog Day, Cage makes some attempts at improving his lot and himself, trying to soften his initial awkward introduction to his squad mates and later struggling to save some of them in battle, but it’s only with the introduction of Emily Blunt’s Rita, the “Angel of Verdun”, who shared a similar experience to Cage, that he finds a purpose to go with his power, and his mission begins. All he has to do is ensure that he dies when he needs to reset; getting injured is not enough and could strip him of this gift.

While there’s no Sonny and Cher announcing the start of each “reset”, Liman sensibly uses some of the tricks of Groundhog Day, adding in humorous and unexpected deaths for Cage. He also hides some iterations from the audience, introducing new scenes and situations only to reveal that Cage has experienced them multiple times already.

Despite a simple mission introduced in the second act, the film manages to keep things fresh, moving Cage’s replays from the battle on the beach, to his training, to a MacGuffin hunt later in the film, and even then the film manages to come up with some surprises. Any perceived lack of jeopardy due to Cage’s ability to retry things over and over again is tempered by Cruise’s performance as well as the diminishing of that power for the film’s climax, adding some much-needed suspense. This is however undermined when a slightly predictable ending arrives, even if it is handled with good humour.

For those hoping for a bit more science fiction in their summer blockbusters, this is more of a war movie with sci-fi trappings. The enemy, the power suits and the time travel element all fit the mould nicely, but the sci-fi doesn’t really have too much to say apart from “be better”. The design of the alien Mimics is interesting enough, whirling dervishes of metal tentacles, spinning around a perpetually agape maw, and the power suits look pretty cool but aren’t really that central to the plot. They’re mostly just used as mobile weapon platforms and once the third act rolls around the cast seem to use every opportunity to step out of them.

Performances are solid all round, Cruise going from confused to badass as required; Blunt is mostly an unapproachable single-minded warrior, sometimes comically so, only softening towards the end. Bill Paxton also stands out as a continually irate Sergeant Major.

Edge of Tomorrow is a diverting enough, enjoyable, Tom Cruise war movie, but perhaps one that won’t linger in the mind too long after the final credits have rolled.

Expected Rating: 9 out of 10

Actual Rating:

REVIEW: POSTMAN PAT – THE MOVIE / CERT: U / DIRECTOR: MIKE DISA / SCREENPLAY: KIM FULLER, NICOLE DUBUC AND ANNIKA BLUHM / STARRING: STEPHEN MANGAN, RONAN KEATING, JIM BROADBENT, DAVID TENNANT, RUPERT GRINT, SUSAN DUERDAN / RELEASE DATE: OUT NOW

In a year where Paddington Bear (or Paddington as it is being called) is already being released, it seems producers just can’t stop trying to bring classic TV characters to the big screen. In essence, this is the problem with this adaptation of the long-running British children’s series, which pales in comparison to the likes of this year’s Mr. Peabody & Sherman. The fact that this film ditches the revered stop-motion animation of the series for CGI, or includes a whole new voice cast is not the biggest issue here. The fact is that the series, built upon old school decency and British charm, is completely at odds with this strange and overblown plot. Postman Pat: The Movie will please some (very) youngsters with its inoffensive story but adults who grew up with Pat will likely want to scrape their eyes out with a letter opener when the Britain’s Got Talent-esque plot takes over.

The film sees Pat Clifton – the friendly, veteran postman of the village of Greendale – enter auditions for a talent show called You’re the One. In his absence, the robotic Patbot 3000s are left to deliver the mail. Needless to say things do not go well, so Pat and his black and white cat Jess must ultimately try and save the day. This strange decision to combine robots and The X Factor with Postman Pat is made even stranger by the fact that there aren’t really many gags as a result. The film is another case of filmmakers feeling that a decent little story is not good enough; they have to pump it full of pop culture and in this case it just doesn’t come off well. Ronan Keating provides Pat’s singing voice in a sequence that shows that at some point in the film’s making there was some affection for the material, but that is lost under the Simon Cowbell (yep, we’re going there) judged competition and an equally naff sci-fi twist with menacing robots.

It all strays dangerously close to Top Cat: The Movie 3D. Luckily, it never quite descends to such levels of awful, but all the same Pat’s film outing fails to deliver the goods. There are some plus points in that Episodes star Stephen Mangan makes an endearing voice for Pat (even if he cannot realistically match Ken Barrie who voiced Pat from 1981-2012, until Lewis ‘Sebulba’ Macleod took over in 2013). Additionally there are the odd gags that work (Pat reading The Postman Always Rings Twice) and some harmless tomfoolery for the young ones. Heck, it wouldn’t even have felt so bad if the animation wasn’t so lacklustre but the CGI is littered with colour without any real sense of joy. It all looks a bit unfinished, just like the story.

Sadly, despite it not being among the worst spins on classic TV shows, Postman Pat: The Movie does not have enough to match its source material’s enduring appeal. It will likely be forgotten, as we now look forward to probable future incarnations of Thomas the Tank Engine or The Clangers (which apparently is returning to TV soon). That said, at least we can be thankful that the result is not as garish as that poster that has Pat opening his arms and doing a rather dodgy-looking pose (Postman Pat Mustard anyone?).

Expected Rating: 6 out of 10

Actual Rating:

REVIEW: X-MEN: DAYS OF FUTURE PAST / CERT: 12A / DIRECTOR:  BRYAN SINGER / SCREENPLAY: SIMON KINBERG, JANE GOLDMAN, MATTHEW VAUGHN / STARRING: HUGH JACKMAN, JAMES MCAVOY, MICHAEL FASSBENDER, JENNIFER LAWRENCE, HALLE BERRY, NICHOLAS HOULT, ELLEN PAGE, PETER DINKLAGE, SHAWN ASHMORE, EVAN PETERS, JOSH HELMAN / RELEASE DATE: MAY 22ND

Returning to the cinematic universe he helped to launch in 2000, before abandoning it in favour of the flashier tights of Superman Returns, Bryan Singer, like a cinematic Sam Beckett from Quantum Leap, has managed to put right that which once went wrong in Fox’s franchise, after Brett Ratner’s X-Men: The Last Stand left it in such tatters that Fox rebooted it so hard it ended up in the ‘60s!

As in the comic book series of the same name, Singer starts his tale in a dystopian future, one in which mutants are rounded up and killed by advanced “sentinels”, seemingly unstoppable techno-organic killing machines.

Thanks to a handy early warning system devised by Kitty Pride (Ellen Page) whereby she shifts fellow mutant Bishop’s conscious back in time a few days prior to any Sentinel attack, a band of mutants from the previous films, as well as some fresh blood, have managed to survive, but the war is all but lost. Seeing potential in her newfound ability, Professor X and Magneto opt to send a mutant’s mind back to a key point in the past, to prevent the creation of the sentinels. Thanks to Hugh Jackman’s box office draw, Wolverine is selected to go back, (along with the fact that he is the only one who could survive the trip thanks to his healing factor). Once he goes back, both the changed past of 1973 and the nightmare “future past” will proceed together in lockstep to twin climaxes, until he returns and whatever changes he was able to effect, if any, take hold. Wolverine must now find Professor X and Magneto, stop the “unfortunate event”,  save the world and do all this before the sentinels find the mutants in the future and without losing his cool or he’ll slip back… to the future!

With Days of Future Past Singer seems to have pulled off the first on-screen “retcon” of a cinematic comic franchise (as opposed to the off-screen reboots we’re all accustomed to), ignoring much that was lamented in Ratner’s film, while setting the franchise back on its “correct” path. He retains many of the hallmarks of his first 2 films, down to the lingering “X” in the 20th Century Fox logo at the start of the film, while taking full advantage of the weight of the First Class cast. While mutants abound, this is truly the story of Charles (Professor X), Eric (Magneto), and Raven (Mystique), the state of their relationships from the first film, how time has battered them and where they can allow themselves to go next.

This approach leaves some casualties in its wake, as some of the less famous cast members from First Class are disposed of off-screen with terminal consequences. It is heartening however, to see old favourites such as Storm, Iceman, Kitty Pryde and Colossus return, even if some are merely reduced to sentinel fodder. The newer mutants, including the long awaited appearance of Bishop, are also used to fill out the numbers but little else. That the film can still be praised in spite of this, speaks to the quality of the central cast and the action and surprises throughout.

Singer doesn’t ignore X3 completely, using Logan’s relationship with Jean Grey in a similar fashion to last year’s The Wolverine, but those hoping for answers to how Xavier returned from the dead or Magneto got his powers back will be left wanting. The jump to the 1970s is handled well, with the main characters in some surprising situations, and Nixon, Vietnam and JFK’s assassination at the end of the ‘60s factor into the story too.

The action and effects are handled expertly and as with previous X-Men films and comics, there is speechifying, unlikely alliances, sudden betrayals and the dénouement will have fans of the original movies swooning. With this and The Wolverine, Fox may have finally gotten to grips with its corner of the Marvel cinematic universe, an impression that is cemented further once the post credits stinger for the next film in the franchise is revealed!

Expected Rating: 7 out of 10

Actual Rating:

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REVIEW: GODZILLA / CERT: 12A / DIRECTOR: GARETH EDWARDS / SCREENPLAY: MAX BORENSTEIN, DAVE CALLAHAM / STARRING: AARON TAYLOR-JOHNSON, ELIZABETH OLSEN, BRYAN CRANSTON, KEN WATANABE, SALLY HAWKINS, JULIETTE BINOCHE, DAVID STRATHAIRN / RELEASE DATE: OUT NOW

After making his well received 2010 debut Monsters guerrilla style, with a tiny crew and budget, a mostly improvised script, using real locations and whoever happened to be standing around as extras and doing all of the special effects work himself on his bedroom computer, director Gareth Edwards was handed the keys to the kingdom by Warner Bros, Legendary and Toho (home of the original Godzilla) and has he ever delivered!

Godzilla pulls off the enviable trick of reintroducing and reinventing the classic king of the monsters while essentially keeping him the same. The look and sound of Godzilla, his ties to nuclear weapons and habit of defending humanity (sometimes), are all present and correct but subtly shifted in unexpected but not unpleasant ways. For the first reel or two, however, he hardly shows up in his own movie, as the film focuses instead on the Brody family; father Joe (Cranston) tries to discover what really happened at his Japanese nuclear power plant in 1999, after a government cover-up hides the truth behind a horrible accident, dragging his navy explosives expert son, Ford (Taylor-Johnson), and his family into trouble with him, before Godzilla fully rises and all hell breaks loose.

It’s understandable that Ford needs to be in the military so that he has a reason to be in many of the action scenes, enabling the film to have some human interest to counterpoint the giant monster(s?) on screen, but it can at times make it feel as if he’s the unluckiest person alive. Other characters do wander in and out of the plot but the action is all kept decidedly grounded with no scenes of the president or UN debating the crisis, just soldiers and scientists.

Some might find the human angle a little wearying, as Edwards stages a few fake-outs where the movie cuts from the action to instead follow the human leads. However, fans will probably savour the tension building for the inevitable climax and Edwards does deliver striking visuals, action, and humour throughout. Needless to say, the effects look great and the film is littered with enjoyable surprises and homages to Godzilla’s past, none more so than the rousing finale of the film.

If you can get on board with the statement by Ken Watanabe’s almost perpetually shocked and staring Dr Serizawa, that “Nature has an order, there’s a power to restore balance, he is that balance” then you should be able to enjoy the film for what it is; a clever reinvention of Big G for the modern age that lovingly keeps the elements that made him popular in the first place. 

Expected Rating: 6 out of 10

Actual Rating:

REVIEW: BAD MILO / CERT: 18 / DIRECTOR: JACOB VAUGHAN / SCREENPLAY: BENJAMIN HAYES, JACOB VAUGHAN / STARRING: KEN MARINO, GILLIAN JACOBS, PATRICK WARBURTON, PETER STORMARE / RELEASE DATE: TBA

Every now and then films come along that defy the established critical technique. These films merely work or not and this well-crafted, creature feature throwback thankfully does. Bad Milo’s concept is one to open your eyes and clench your cheeks at. This film sees stressed accountant Duncan (Marino), struggling with stomach pains, however what is thought to be stress turns out to be a literal pain in the arse, in the shape of stress demon Milo, who has grown and taken refuge in Duncan’s anus and emerges to attack anybody who contributes to his master’s anxiety. Yep, good or bad, this one was always going to be a must-see!

Bad Milo is actually a rather affectionate little film in its own demented way and while it doesn’t quite match up to its inspirations, it certainly pays them tribute. Vaughan’s film is full of gross-out humour and dirty gags (from penis biting to rats up the back passage) and while some of this is not always funny, it is undeniably different and perversely rewarding for fans of  ’80s creature features. Inspired by the likes of Gremlins, Basket Case and Critters, this is a real throwback to the bygone B-movie days of nasty little buggers causing a riot. The decision to minimise the CGI for practical effects and puppetry proves to be one of the film’s best decisions and Milo himself deftly balances between being butt ugly (sorry) and unfathomably cute.

The script doesn’t always have the meatiness of the genre’s best efforts and there is no doubting the lack of sophistication here. A little bit of gross-out humour goes a long way (Duncan’s mum and her active sex life grates). But if you’re the kind of person who’s willing to pay to see an arse demon run amok, you most likely won’t be disappointed, just don’t go expecting the rounded appeal of Joe Dante. Bad Milo has a lot of inexplicable charm to it (much like its bald little demon) and Vaughan’s film is the homage he’d like it to be, even if it is occasionally less funny than it thinks it is. The film is at times a wonderfully self-aware offering that sets the tone right out of the gate with a soundtrack from Ted Masur, which is reminiscent (in its purposefully grandiose nature) of Michael Wandmacher’s score for (the superior) Piranha 3D.

The cast are very involved in this barmy feature too, with Ken Marino excelling in the lead role as Duncan, offering an appealing lead character for the film to hang from. Patrick Warburton is also fun as the relentlessly ‘douchey’ boss Phil and Peter Stormare is clearly having a right laugh as mad psychiatrist Highsmith. Even if the plot goes a bit OTT come the central twist and Gillian Jacobs, as Duncan’s wife Sarah, is only really here to serve this preposterous finale, Bad Milo is still an enjoyably raucous offering. There is a lot to admire about Bad Milo, which is not rear of the year material but nor is it a bum note (we’ll stop now). It could have done more with its wicked premise but what you see is indeed what you get, and after viewing this you’ll never feel quite as relaxed over stomach cramps. And all you accountants out there take heed and just buy a stress ball!

Expected Rating: 8 out of 10

Actual Rating: