Review Category: Movie

It is fair to say that Ron Howard’s movie adaptations of Dan Brown’s series of Robert Langdon novels have not been met with the warmth of the best literary-to-film transitions. The whole hoopla that surrounded The Da Vinci Code back in 2006 was as much down to the novel’s success and controversial reception as it was the aggrandized news stories of the film being banned and boycotted. In reality the movie was not much more than a good looking but drab star crammed Thriller. Then in 2009 Angels & Demons was less box office busting but still successful and actually a far more enjoyable affair. So now we arrive at Inferno, an adaptation of Brown’s fourth Langdon novel (2009’s The Lost Symbol is clearly getting missed out). So is this an enjoyable mystery or a whimpering end to this film series? 

The story, we think, sees Robert Langdon (Tom Hanks), awaken in hospital plagued by demonic and hellish visions with no memory as to how he got there, and not much later than he wakes – chatting with his knowledgeable doctor Sienna Brooks (Felicity Jones) – a gun-wielding individual attacks him. Something is afoot here and, alongside Brooks, Langdon must piece together what is happening, as he is drawn into a mysterious game that sees the future of 95% of the human race in jeopardy with the possible release of a deadly virus. We say “we think” at the beginning of all that because what is a simple virus/bomb plot Thriller is dressed up in so much ego massaging intellectual art speak it’s hard to say what it’s meant to be about. 

Now, when this writer reviews a movie, they carry a notebook in a bag and, at the finish of the film, make a few initial notes. Usually these notes contain loads of positives, however when 2 listed positives for a film are “some decent hellish visions” and “Hanks’ hair was more sensible”, you know you are struggling. Inferno is just a load of exaggerated donkey dollops. Somewhere in this Euro-travelling Thriller there is an intriguing story about man’s ravaging of the globe but this is a film showered in loads of pretentiousness and ill fittingly barmy babble. The previous installments and their religious ideologies and hidden-within-art conspiracies may have divided opinion but had a meaning and purpose engrained in the respective stories, here however the art and culture themes are used to pad out a non-existent story and silly muddled concepts. There is nothing wrong with silly films but this is po-faced offering is presented entirely straight, as though it was a deep and well-layered tale. It isn’t. 

There is no weight behind any idea; it is superficial, with the Dante drenched dialogue being pure dressing to flesh “let’s find the bomb” plotting. The script’s exposition is so forced, it is like this was written by one of those TV Quiz Show brainiacs who refuse to merely answer a question but feel compelled to give you an unrequested accompanying history lesson, just to enforce their cerebral dominance over you. The architecture, art and landmarks come and go and are merely a lovely backdrop to distract you from the intellectual bollocks you are sitting through. At times it feels like you are stranded in a tornado of European holiday postcards or just being twatted over the head with a copy of ‘1001 Galleries To Visit Before You Die’.

Hans Zimmer’s score is classy (with Dark Knight touches and a neat closing revamp of his fantastic 503 from the last film) and the opening 10 minutes have some visually interesting moments, and Irrfan Khan is good in a supporting role too. Aside from that, this Dan Brown blunder is just bafflingly overdone and full of logical missteps (sure Langdon’s a professor at Harvard but you are seriously telling us he knows EVERY secret passage in EVERY museum and EVERY person knows that he knows that?). Plus there is a twist that makes everything slot together even more awkwardly and leaves you questioning even more of the aforementioned holes. As the film progresses you just grow more uncertain of what the actual point being made here is or whether it is all just intellectual posturing, as the crew don’t really know themselves. 

Tom Hanks is as watchable as ever though, even if he is given nothing to work with (even less in fact, than the previous movies in the series) – even the gags seem delivered with a stern footnote reminding you, like a stuffy lecturer, “That was a joke but remember this is serious stuff people”. Felicity Jones’ character is preposterous and Ben Foster is like a Bond villain drained of charisma. It is not the cast’s fault though, as even with the suspension of disbelief, this film simply does not work and the attempts at explaining away the scriptural and narrative gaps make it even sillier and just ridiculous to absorb in the compelling and deep manner it was clearly intended. Hell, even as dumb fun, this film abuses the privilege.

Perhaps knowledge of the book helps (admittedly this writer has not read it) but Inferno is just a barrage of pseudo-intellectual banter filling out a plot, a lot of running (and we mean a lot) and some suspiciously speedy commuting. Zimmer, Hanks and some nice visions of hell boost it by a star but we are really grasping at straws here in this mess. As soon as it finishes you continue to try and piece things together and even now, as we write this an hour or two after viewing, vital plot points or reveals (like any excitement) remain lost amidst the unstructured absurdity. Langdon spends a great deal of the movie struggling to remember anything but random sequences, people and ideas, all while suffering from bouts of crippling headaches, having watched the doltish Inferno we know how he feels.

INFERNO / CERT: 12A / DIRECTOR: RON HOWARD / SCREENPLAY: DAVID KOEPP / STARRING: TOM HANKS, FELICITY JONES, BEN FOSTER, OMAR SY, IRRFAN KHAN / RELEASE DATE: OUT NOW

Expected Rating: 5/10

Actual Rating:

We all want to get away from it all sometimes, but for Neal (Sowerbutts), going for a weekend break with his elder brother (Lawrence) and his partner (Mounter) is already too stressful. The siblings don’t get along, and Neal could really do without the constant barbs and irritations. The group set up camp on a remote beach, expecting nothing out of the ordinary.

Looking for some solitude, he wanders across the shore and makes a disturbing discovery among the seaweed, something that disturbs the group. When he’s forced by his brother Jack to return the item but then finds something that changes his attitude.

Sumptuously filmed by Jordan Ford, this is a brooding, atmospheric short (well, mid-length short at 27mins) that manages to captivate the viewer and create a sense of unease. That awkwardness also comes from being an observer in the tension between the brothers and certainly during a ‘heart-to-heart’ moment in which family skeletons are laid bare.

Writer/director Bousfield has given us an interesting premise, but it’s one that perhaps needs a feature-length script to fully explore, as we’re just beginning to be absorbed into the proceedings when it’s all over. Less is more, we guess. The cast are superb, and the location (Joss Bay in Kent) is gloriously windswept and secluded, making the viewer almost feel the biting breeze and sea spray. It’s an engaging short with a few surprises and is worth checking out if you have the chance.

GHOST NETS / CERT: TBC / DIRECTOR & SCREENPLAY: MARK BOUSFIELD / STARRING: JOE SOWERBUTTS, BRUCE LAWRENCE, CHARLOTTE MOUNTER, LLOYD MORRIS / RELEASE DATE: TBC

 

According to American Honey, it doesn’t always end badly when pretty young women get into cars full of strange men. Which, let’s face it, is a wonderfully positive message compared to what many films offer. It feels like barely five minutes passes without Star (magnetic newcomer Sasha Lane) jumping into a vehicle with a bunch of guys she’s never met, and each time you’ll find yourself hoping for the best, but probably fearing the worst. 

Fortunately, American Honey dwells on the positive sides of a listless lifestyle with Star first jumping into a minibus full of carefree scruffy white kids who love nothing more than blasting out hip hop, having a good time, and making some money selling magazine subscriptions. Entrepreneur Krystal runs the show keeping her crew of kids working hard, along with her sidekick and best seller Jake (Shia Labeouf). Star jumps at the chance to get in on the action, living the wild life on the road and falling for Jake along the way.

American Honey’s motley crew roll around the affluent neighbourhoods of America, attempting to sell their wares by any means necessary, but the focus is always on Star and Jake as he trains her in the art of the hard sell. It’s an episodic structure with no real goal in sight. It’s telling that two characters are asked what their dreams are and both reply that they have never been asked that question before. These kids don’t get to have dreams. Their minibus is a cocoon of angry hip hop, where they all get to spout repetitive brain-washing capitalist messages about getting rich. Their chemistry comes from sing-alongs and snatches of clearly improvised dialogue. Their single-minded little community lives only to make enough money to buy food, drink and drugs.

It’s a wild ride; often too loud, too crazy and some of these kids are just too stupid to care much about. Some are clearly damaged in ways never revealed but it’s hard to judge them when they’re all generally so sweet to each other. The documentary style and very real faces of these young actors makes them feel completely authentic. It feels as though this crew are too ordinary looking to be in a movie, right down to Shia Labeouf, the only real ‘star’ of the cast. Director Andrea Arnold never judges them, only really portraying Krystal as a calculating and cold character, whereas her focus on the young and carefree Star and the blossoming relationship Jake oozes with hope and optimism.

It’s a beautifully played road movie, but there’s no real destination for any of these characters to get to. While it’s great to see a film not resorting to punishing these characters for their breakneck, carefree lifestyle, it could have benefitted from a little more conflict. American Honey will frustrate some but as a time capsule and ode to youthful energy, it’s priceless.

AMERICAN HONEY / CERT: 15 / DIRECTOR & SCREENPLAY: ANDREA ARNOLD / STARRING: SASHA LANE, RILEY KEOUGH, SHIA LEBEOUF / RELEASE DATE: OCTOBER 14TH

Expected Rating: 9 out of 10

Actual Rating:
 

The repercussions of a 15-year-old relationship are explored in Una as a young woman hunts down the older man who fell for her when she was just a child. If you can’t wait to see what Ben Mendelsohn does when he gets his chops into a Star Wars villain in Rogue One, Una offers him up as an altogether more troubling character who finds his past come back to haunt him in disastrous fashion.

Rooney Mara is Una, the woman who seeks some answers after her childhood neighbour Ray (Mendelsohn) began a sexual relationship with her before being caught and sent to prison. Since then, Una has clearly brooded over what she saw as Ray’s rejection and abuse of her, but now 15 years later, she finds Ray (now renamed Peter) and confronts him at his workplace. Does she want an explanation, or is she simply trying to destroy Ray/Peter’s new life?

Whether you care about Una’s motivations will depend on how much you sympathise with either Ray’s situation or Una’s mental state. David Harrower’s script tries to find the complexity in the relationship, showing both the damage Ray has caused, but also the genuine feelings he developed for the teenager. Mendelsohn and particularly Mara give great performances, transfixing as their shared memories are pored over, re-examined and stories and secrets are revealed for the first time in fifteen years.

These memories puncture the present day narrative with jarring cuts interrupting the main flow of the narrative. Director Benedict Andrews flashes back to the past to reveal with restraint the relationship that caused all this trauma years later. It’s clear that Peter has moved on, but Una is not ready to let it lie, and justifiably so. The scenes set in the past offer respite from Peter’s current workplace which Una has invaded, dressed to impress and desperate to get something from Peter. It’s easy to sympathise with her, but interestingly the film casts its former paedophilic predator as anything but a typical monster.

With workplace stresses also eating at Peter, there is a constant cat-and-mouse game as his co-workers (including Riz Ahmed) attempt to find Peter and Una as they move around the maze of the warehouse in which he works. It never quite escapes its origins on the stage, but when the drama is this gripping, it matters little if the scenes are a bit talky.

It’s a brave performance from Ben Mendelsohn, while the narrative strays away from easy explanations and a tidy resolution. As it builds to a suspenseful climax, Una is far from exploitative, even if it does look as though it is heading towards a melodramatic finale. However, with admirable maturity, Una swerves away from simple resolutions and a tidy ending. What could have been a sensationalist ripped-from-the-headlines expose of a disturbing relationship is handled tensely, but sensitively. Catch it before Mendelsohn takes charge of Death Star security in Rogue One.

UNA / CERT: TBC / DIRECTOR: BENEDICT ANDREWS / SCREENPLAY: DAVID HARROWER / STARRING: ROONEY MARA, BEN MENDELSOHN, RIZ AHMED / RELEASE DATE: TBC

Expected Rating: 6 out of 10

Actual Rating:
 

Park Chan-wook’s obsession with revenge continues in his latest film The Handmaiden, though it looks as though this story could be something altogether different from its opening. Erotic, emotionally charged and unsurprisingly laced with a splatter of torture, The Handmaiden is a return to both Chan-wook’s thematic preoccupations and native Korean language after his English language debut, the wonderfully eerie Stoker.

Told in three parts, The Handmaiden is no step back for the auteur, even if it not only repeats itself in its own internal structure, but also traverses similar territory to his previous films. The three parts are central to the twists in the story as Korean thief Sookee is employed to be the handmaiden of Japanese heiress Hideko in part one. Sookee is actually in the employ of a fake Count who is keen to swindle Hideko out of her fortune by seducing and marrying her and then having the poor woman driven mad and locked up in an asylum. Sookee’s job is to convince Hideko that she really does love the Count, and in return Sookee will receive a portion of the fortune. But when Hideko and Sookee start to feel a growing lust and affection for each other, allegiances are tested.

Where this goes in part two is highly unexpected with part one ending on a cliff-hanger and then part two flashing back to repeat much of the elements of part one from new angles and new perspectives. While this can be hugely rewarding as scenes are extended and new motivations and mysteries unravelled, it also leads to a mid-film lull that could have been excised to make The Handmaiden a more efficiently delivered film. 

The betrayals are shocking, but it is the unexpected depths of feeling that emerge as exchanges are explored and histories revealed through frequent flashbacks as the film goes on. As passions grow between certain characters, Chan-wook revels in startlingly sensual sex scenes that are laced with an exciting sense of discovery, innocence meeting experience and emotional complication as it is rarely clear if the depth of feeling between some characters is genuine.

The Handmaiden nimbly explores themes of exploitation, with Hideko appearing to be a victim of not only the men around her, but also her deceptive handmaiden Sookee. But as exploitation gives way to experimentation, there is the possibility of Hideko turning the tables on those who seek to use her for their own gains. The Handmaiden has plenty of surprises, but most of these are soon delivered in part two of the story, leaving a third part with few new surprises and starting to overstay its welcome.

Though it could have done with a little trimming, The Handmaiden is a darkly feminist tale of exploitation and betrayal. Chan-wook celebrates the sexual potential of sisterhood between his leads, offering a tale set in a mostly closed-off environment that allows his character dynamics to scintillate. Led by two fantastic lead performances, The Handmaiden is smart, sadistic and sexy as hell.

THE HANDMAIDEN / CERT: TBC / DIRECTOR: PARK CHAN-WOOK / STARRING: PARK CHAN-WOOK, SYD LIM / STARRING: KIM MIN-HEE, KIM TAE-RI, HA JUNG-WOO, CHO JING-WOONG / RELEASE DATE: FEBRUARY 17TH

Expected Rating: 6 out of 10

Actual Rating:
 

It really doesn’t matter how crushingly inevitable the end of A Monster Calls might seem, or even how lacking in surprises much of the rest of the film is; when it’s emotional climax arrives, there’s unlikely to be a dry eye in the house. The most original thing about the story is its giant tree monster voiced by Liam Neeson, but what it lacks in narrative daring, it more than makes up for by planting its roots deep down in your heart. 

Connor is an artistic young boy struggling to come to terms with the terminal illness of his young mother (Felicity Jones). Bullied at school, left to run the home, and plagued by a recurring nightmare, he is soon visited in his dreams by the hulking great cross between a Transformer and an Ent. This ‘monster’ forces Connor to listen to three tales about kings, queens, pastors, and an invisible man. As Connor’s Mum’s illness worsens, Connor’s behaviour becomes more destructive, especially when his estranged father (Toby Kebbell) arrives from L.A. and Connor is forced to live with his uptight grandmother (Sigourney Weaver).

With a script by Patrick Ness, based on his own Y.A. book, A Monster Calls is a very mature affair. It’s dealing with death, fractured families and honest feelings of hopelessness, despair and worse make it refreshing even as it slides into melodrama. The characters around young Connor are not perfect, and though some are two-dimensional, it doesn’t detract from the emotionally-charged exchanges between Connor and his bullies, parents and grandmother.

Director J.A. Bayona follows drawing an impressive turn from Tom Holland in The Impossible by finding another gifted young actor to take on some seriously heavy emoting. Lewis MacDougall is a revelation as Connor carrying the film and delivering a challenging, heart wrenching performance as his tree friend reaches down into his soul and draws out some stirring, but uncomfortable emotional truths from the boy. It is completely MacDougall’s film with Weaver, Jones and Kebbell offering excellent support, but the truly outstanding work is all between MacDougall and the tree with the booming voice of Liam Neeson. 

Bayona also throws in some delicious visual flourishes with the tree’s stories being brought to life in beautifully animated watercolours. The entire film is beautifully shot, edited and scored, but it is in these short stories where there are moral messages and wild tales brought to vivid life by the animation and Neeson’s gravelly narration. As reality and fantasy become increasingly blurred, Ness’ investment in his characters pays off, even if there are few surprises in where he’s taking us.

A Monster Calls can be a loud, CGI-filled beast of a movie at times, but it is in the quieter moments where it really earns its emotional pay-off. Despite its fantastical elements and occasionally obvious plot points, it is a film about emotional truths and an admirable attempt to inject some real heart and soul into a YA adaptation. And not even a love triangle in sight.

A MONSTER CALLS / CERT: 12A / DIRETOR: J.A. BAYONA / SCREENPLAY: PATRICK NESS / STARRING: LEWIS MACDOUGALL, SIGOURNEY WEAVER, FELICITY JONES, TOBY KEBBELL, LIAM NEESON / RELEASE DATE: JANUARY 6TH

Expected Rating: 7 out of 10

Actual Rating:
 

Glitter farts, pooping cupcakes, scrapbooks, singing and sparkling rainbows. Trolls is surprisingly not as cringe-worthy as all that sounds… even to those of us blessed or depressed with a healthy dose of cynicism. If the exasperating first half of this film based on the cutesy toy range is a chore to get through, it might just thaw some stone cold hearts by the time Justin Timberlake starts belting out tunes by the end.

And thank God for Justin Timberlake, because without his character in Trolls, this movie would be completely insufferable. Timberlake’s Branch is the only Troll with an understandable sense of unease that dreaded monsters the Bergens are desperate to find the eye-poppingly bright community of trolls living blissfully carefree in the woods. Twenty years earlier, the Trolls escaped the clutches of the Bergens, who are such a bunch of miserable creatures that they can only find happiness when they eat the multicoloured-haired Trolls. Branch warns his fellow trolls not to have parties full of loud singing and glittery fireworks, but will the irrepressible Princess Poppy and the other trolls listen?

No, they bloody won’t, the annoying little buggers. No wonder Branch is miserable and hiding in a hole in the ground. So when the Bergen head chef finds the trolls and carries some off to Bergen town to turn into tasty treats, Poppy must enlist Branch to help her in rescuing her friends so that they don’t miss out on anymore scheduled hugs times, singing, dancing, and lest we forget… scrapbooking.

While much of the movie is frustratingly filled with infuriating pop songs belted out by Anna Kendrick while she refuses to see the danger all around her, it eventually gets darker and far more interesting once the mismatched pair reaches Bergen town. Looking like something Laika would lovingly animate in stop-motion, Bergen town injects some much-needed darkness and ugliness into proceedings. It’s here where eventually the character arcs some reap rewards with both Branch lightening up and Poppy losing a little of her of teeth-grinding peppiness.

Just in case you don’t realise where this is heading, remember that the only troll with any emotions other than happy is played by Justin ‘Can’t Stop the Feeling’ Timberlake. The voice casting isn’t subtle and Anna Kendrick is almost unbearable for much of the film, but Russell Brand gets a few laughs mocking his own persona as a spiritual hippy Troll.

But the real spark in Trolls comes not in its bright colours, rap-infused pop songs or occasional bursts of inventive action. What it eventually delivers is a potent message about popping medication in your mouth to make you happy. The Bergens believe that eating a Troll is the only way to happiness, whereas the trolls have regularly scheduled hugging breaks. If that sounds too saccharine or simplistic, steer well clear of Trolls. If on the other hand, you think you can get through Princess Poppy’s constant penchant for breaking into song, you might just find something to enjoy beneath the motivation to sell some little plastic toys with big multi-coloured hair.

If nothing else, Trolls manages the incredible feat of making the annoyingly talented Justin Timberlake, not only pretty ugly but also easily the most likeable character in a movie that could drown in its own irritating positivity.

TROLLS / CERT: U / DIRECTORS: MIKE MITCHELL, WALT DOHRN / SCREENPLAY: JONATHAN AIBEL, GLENN BERGER / STARRING: ANNA KENDRICK, ZOOEY DESCHANEL, JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE, JEFFREY TAMBOR / RELEASE DATE: OCTOBER 21ST

Expected Rating: 5 out of 10
Actual Rating:  
 

There is nothing a studio loves more than dropping a “based on the international bestseller” line – or some similar statement- for the trailer to their latest Thriller. In one concise line you pique the interest of an existing audience who have read said bestseller and also attain the attention of a newcoming cinemagoer who now immediately expects some kind of pedigree to this latest film. However we discerning fans of film know better than to just go by source material hype. After all for every literary to film cracker like Gone Girl and The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo (or the entire Swedish trilogy for that matter), there is a Fifty Shades of Grey or The Da Vinci Code. So it is now the turn of Paula Hawkins’ psychological 2015 Thriller The Girl On The Train to hit the big screen but how does it fare (the pun train keeps on a’ rolling)? 

This film sees the lonely and suffering Rachel (Emily Blunt) taking her daily train ride. Struggling with alcoholism, after the breakdown of her marriage, Rachel takes the same journey daily, observing the lives of people through her carriage window and living vicariously through the happiness of one particular couple that lives in her old neighborhood. However one day she sees the woman of this house in the embrace of another man and soon her obsession with the happiness of this household, leads her on a journey that is rife with mystery, danger and a deadly outcome. The influence of Gone Girl in both the marketing and the aesthetics of this film are clear for all to see and sadly this Thriller is not in the same league, even if its leading lady most certainly is. 

The Girl On The Train is a perfectly acceptable rainy evening murder/mystery viewing but there is the unshakable feeling that it could be so much more. Erin Cressida Wilson’s screenplay is fractured into different times and flashbacks but unlike the aforementioned, here it becomes so fragmented and occasionally jarring that it doesn’t always hang together all that well. You end up feeling that the journey is becoming a tad languorous on the way to the resolution. Though, thankfully, the payoff is well delivered, offering a decent enough twist and necessary bursts of genuinely sickening violence, that grasps you by the throat. The atmosphere is properly moody, with Danny Elfman’s score doing its best Trent Razor/Atticus Ross impression at points but the film is plagued with logical gaps and some trashy turns akin to Channel 5 TV Drama. 

However, for all its faults, we cannot bring ourselves to cancel the journey at any time thanks to the sublime work of Emily Blunt. Blunt is awards worthy here and steals the screen from every and any co-star (though Luke Evans, Justin Theroux and Haley Bennett are effective in their parts) in a performance that is shattering, realistic and utterly compelling. Her portrayal of alcoholism forgoes the usual stumbling slurring shtick and actually digs into the pain and loss of such a condition. Truth be told Blunt is the most realistic onscreen drunk we have ever seen (and we mean that in the most complimentary way) and her plight and discovery that she is out of whack with the world is a more interesting story than the one at the core of the film. She is the glue that holds the film together at points and in fact she elevates its class overall. 

So yes, Blunt is just brilliant and overall The Girl On The Train has some clout and gravitas, with intense direction at points from Tate Taylor (The Help), an undeniable grasp of its morose tone and a finale that does deliver. It is just a shame that the flaws are not straightened out more, as it feels like there is a film in this material offering far more knife edge tension and unpredictability than we receive here. The film reminds one of Before The Winter Chill in that it features a great lead and atmosphere but with a lacking narrative connection and lack of structure. It’s no Gone Girl but Blunt keeps this train on the tracks.

THE GIRL ON THE TRAIN / CERT: 15 / DIRECTOR: TATE TAYLOR / SCREENPLAY: ERIN CRESSIDA WILSON / STARRING: EMILY BLUNT, HALEY BENNETT, REBECCA FERGUSON, JUSTIN THEROUX, LUKE EVANS / RELEASE DATE: OUT NOW

Expected Rating: 8/10

Actual Rating:

Hens looking to escape an egg farm, a detective story in an animal metropolis, a chameleon with an existential crisis in a Western town, a fox robbing the rich to feed the poor…the list goes on. Animals have starred in animated movies for as long as there have been animated movies. We have seen everything from Porcupines to Anglerfish inhabit the screen and now it is the time for the Storks to fly in their own colourful animated adventure. In this day and age most young people probably know more about sex and how babies are made than people decades older but there was a time when mums and dads would drop the old ‘Storks deliver babies’ story while they wondered how best to explain. Well this feature from Warner Bros. Animation puts its own spin on this idea, with added chaos, pop culture gags and, er, wolves? So is it flop or fly?

The basic idea is, as we have just stated, that Storks once delivered babies, it was a tough business but a necessary one. However times have changed and over at Cornerstone.com (top delivery business), the Storks now deliver top of the range tech. Business is booming and when the company’s best delivery Stork Junior (Andy Samberg) is called into the office by big boss Hunter (Kelsey Grammer), he is excited by the prospect of being the new boss. However when kind hearted but clumsy orphan Tulip (Katie Crown) – who was not delivered years back and grew up with the Storks- tries to help out, she accidentally creates a baby from the old baby maker machine! Attempting to solve a big problem, Junior and Tulip aim to get the kid to her home but that is going to be easier said than done.

With great animation but pretty bog standard plotting, the promotional material for Storks looked to be pretty so-so at best, however upon seeing the finished film, some may be a little surprised. Storks is certainly not anything breathtaking nor daring but it is an agreeable cinema visit for the entire family that is far superior to what was promoted. The plot does play out as expected at times and Nicholas Stoller’s screenplay does not always nail the jokes (however when it does, there are some worthwhile laughs to be had here – the wolves are great). That being said, there are some worthwhile themes on offer, with the importance of parents being involved in vital childhood years being prioritised, as well as some passing themes about independent womanhood, diversity in the workplace and a very subtle closing inclusion of same sex relationships onscreen.

Sure these ideas could be more developed but their inclusion is a welcome surprise and while sometimes the plot veers into disarray, there are some madcap sequences worth the admission alone. The characters are mostly likeable too, with Junior and Tulip being an engaging pair of leads and some fine supporting characters like the scene stealing wolves and Grammer’s ruthless business bird Hunter. All wrapped in a sometimes all over the place but more than watchable story of family and what it is to have them around you (blood relations or otherwise).

All in all Storks is kind of mis-sold by its trailer, yes it does not re-invent the wheel nor soar as high as other animated hits but the kids will likely love it (especially the colloquialism packed script – some of which was lost on this reviewer…god I’m getting old) and there are great moments of nutty energy throughout. Not every joke lands safely but the film is imbued with genuine heart and some inspired moments (see a silent penguin fight that is a real joy). A surprisingly enjoyable and inoffensive offering that ought to fit the family-viewing bill.

STORKS / CERT: U / DIRECTORS: NICHOLAS STOLLER, DOUG SWEETLAND / SCREENPLAY: NICHOLAS STOLLER / STARRING: ANDY SAMBERG, KELSEY GRAMMER, KATIE CROWN, JENNIFER ANISTON / RELEASE DATE: 14TH OCTOBER 

Expected Rating: 5/10 

Starburst Rating:

As Hollywood continues to remake some of the most popular and iconic films of all time, it seems only fair that some of the average ones receive the same treatment. As such, we have Kickboxer: Vengeance, a film no one probably wanted, but we’re getting anyway.

In the 1980’s Jean-Claude Van Damme made a raft of cheesy, Bruce Lee rip-offs whose success was based entirely on the actor’s physical charisma and awkward, yet charming style. Bloodsport was undoubtedly the high water mark, and proved a perfect platform for Van Damme’s swaggering skills. Now, too old to take the lead in a Kickboxer remake, he becomes the trainer to a new Kurt Sloane (Moussi) – think Creed but with less plotting.

To avenge the death of his brother at the hands of Thai behemoth Tong Po (a wasted Dave Bautista), Kurt must learn from the fedora sporting Van Damme, and channel a new fighting ethos. The training montage itself is the highlight of the film, with plenty of nods to the latter’s filmography while showcasing Moussi’s martial arts abilities. Sadly, there is little else to distinguish Kickboxer: Vengeance from any other straight-to-VOD revenge thriller that you might find nestling in the dark corners of Netflix.

Van Damme has never been the strongest of performers but his screen presence has always carried him through. Here, he is Oscar-worthy in comparison to a supporting cast that stutters and stumbles along like first year drama students. Moussi does his best in what is an early role, and has enough likeability to suggest this could be the start of a decent, if low-key career for him. Gina Carano is miscast as a shadowy fight promoter and Bautista barely utters a word in a role that he clearly signed on for prior to becoming the star he is now.

What should impress in a film with this title are the fight scenes but disappointingly they all feel a little bland. This was evidently a tight shooting schedule, and you get the distinct impression the fights have been crudely constructed in the editing room. Quick cuts and inconsistencies are rife as conflicts become wearily repetitive.

If you’re a Van Damme fan, or a lover of 1980’s martial arts films, there is some nostalgic fun to be had, and whatever your personal opinion on Van Damme, he is undeniably a captivating performer. There isn’t anything offensively wrong with Kickboxer: Vengeance, there’s just not enough right for it to be more than a Friday night fix upon returning from the pub with a takeaway. And however successful this one may prove to be, Kickboxer: Retaliation is on the way; and that will feature both Mike Tyson and Ronaldhino!

KICKBOXER: VENGEANCE / CERT: 15 / DIRECTOR: JOHN STOCKWELL / SCREENPLAY: DIMITRI LOGOTHETIS, JIM MCGRATH / STARRING: ALAIN MOUSSI, JEAN-CLAUDE VAN DAMME, DAVE BAUTISTA, DARREN SHAHLAVI, GINA CORANO / RELEASE DATE: OUT NOW