Review Category: DVD/Blu Ray

The loose premise of Batman Ninja was enough to mark it out as must-see to some genre fans upon the picture being first announced. The Caped Crusader and a slew of supporting players transported to feudal Japan? All delivered in an anime fashion? Yep, that’s quite the intriguing prospect. Is this latest animated DC effort actually any good though, or is it merely a case of style and intrigue over substance and genuine quality?

We’ve already alluded to the basic plot of Batman Ninja, but to flesh it out a little more this whole happening is down to the nefarious Gorilla Grodd. A psionic, telepathic genius gorilla, Grodd has long been a rival of The Flash, although his antics and shenanigans have never been exclusive to the Scarlet Speedster in the comic book realm. And here, the Dark Knight runs afoul of this hugely powerful rogue. In fact, within the film’s opening moments Grodd has already banished Batman through time itself and back to feudal Japan. Unfortunately for the World’s Greatest Detective, things go from bad to worse when he immediately runs across a familiar old foe: The Joker.

While the Clown Prince of Crime has been spruced up to fit the ancient Japanese setting, Bats has to deal with a whole host of other notable villains who have similarly been given a fresh lick of paint to fit their new surroundings as a power play takes place to decide who rules the land. Oh yeah, and then there’s the small task of somehow getting out of ye olden times and making it back to present-day Gotham City!

From the moment Junpei Mizusaki’s film opens, you know this is not your average animated Bat-flick. With a classic anime vibe combined with CG wizardy, Batman Ninja is a visual delight and a true standout from all previous animated DC offerings in that regard. The only earlier release that comes close to having even a smidge of similar sheen to it is 2008’s decent-but-not-great Batman: Gotham Knight. Takashi Okazaki is the person primarily tasked with the character design of Batman Ninja, and the Afro Samurai creator does a splendid job of bringing the sensibilities and eccentric style of a traditional anime effort in a way that puts a truly unique spin on a whole slew of familiar Bat characters.

In its basic form, Batman Ninja’s narrative is paint by numbers in the ‘Batman’s trapped in time, must defeat bad guys and get back to the present’ tale. But it’s the other details that makes this far from a formulaic outing for the Caped Crusader and Co. There’s a Bat-clan of ninjas, there’s an uber-cute monkey sidekick, there’s giant robots, there’s giant castles, there’s giant robot castles… and that’s just the tip of the iceberg. Then there’s the new lick of paint given to Bat-family members such as Nightwing, Robin, Red Robin, Red Hood, Alfred, and Catwoman, not to mention no-good sorts like Harley Quinn, Two-Face, Bane, Deathstroke, and Poison Ivy. In fact, a sumo incarnation of Bane is a true highlight to behold.

As for the English voice cast behind the host of familiar faces on display here, Roger Craig Smith makes for a rather great Batman once you get used to him. And by that, we mean that some of you out there may be accustomed to hearing the dulcet tones of Kevin Conroy as yours Bats. Smith has previous in the animated cape and cowl though, having voiced the iconic hero in the Batman Unlimited series and films plus the Arkham Origins video game – not to mention, having voiced Captain America in plentiful efforts, most notably the Avengers Assemble series. While Smith isn’t Conroy – and let’s face it, nobody will ever top what Kevin Conroy brings to the table – he still makes for a strong choice to tackle the Dark Knight role here. And while we’re all about Mark Hamill as The Joker whenever possible, special mention must go to Tony Hale for delivering a sinister and Bat-shit crazy Mr J who fits in pitch-perfectly for what was needed in this strange and splendid tale. Elsewhere, many longtime fans will get a kick out of Tara Strong returning to provide vocals for Harley Quinn, and she’s as great as you’d expect here.

Batman Ninja is as bonkers a Bat-tale as you will find – potentially a little too erratic and eccentric for some – but this is a stylish and fresh take that can get away with all of its quirks and eccentricities due to the fact that it’s simply a different, essentially Elseworlds story that means rhythm and rhyme can gleefully be thrown out of the window for the most part. Some traditionalists may find that Batman Ninja is a little too much for them, but if you go in with an open mind then this is a hugely entertaining and vastly changed-up outing for one of the most beloved figures in pop culture history.

Special Features: Two featurettes / New Comic Con 2017 panel

BATMAN NINJA / CERT: U / DIRECTOR: JUNPEI MIZUSAKI / SCREENPLAY: KAZUKI NAKASHIMA / STARRING: ROGER CRAIG SMITH, TONY HALE, GREG GRIFFEN, TARA STRONG, ADAM CROASDELL, FRED TATASCIORE / RELEASE DATE: APRIL 24TH (US), MAY 14TH (UK)

If you’ve got a fondness for New Zealand cinema (as we do) Arrow Academy have got some treats in store over the next few months, and with this fantastic release of Roger Donaldson’s classic Sleeping Dogs, they’re definitely starting with the big guns.

Smith (Sam Neill) is a man in crisis. After the collapse of his marriage, he goes on the road and finds the perfect place to disappear – a small island off the beautiful Coromandel Peninsula. While the rest of New Zealand is disintegrating into martial law and civil war, Smith tries to piece his sanity together… until the police arrive and accuse him of belonging to a terrorist faction that has secretly stored an arsenal of weapons on the island and are responsible for the deaths of many people. Smith eventually manages to escape from their brutal custody, but it’s only the beginning of his troubles. Now he’s New Zealand’s most wanted man, and he’s going to be drawn into fighting with the guerrillas whether he likes it or not.

Sleeping Dogs was the film that put both Sam Neill and New Zealand cinema on the world stage, and it’s not difficult to see why. This is a tightly paced, tautly structured thriller packed with wonderful performances and explosive action sequences that belies its low budget roots. But it’s also much more than that because if there’s one thing we can be assured of when we watch most New Zealand cinema it’s the inclusion of emotional complexity and genuine filmmaking passion. There’s a powerful beating heart to Sleeping Dogs which makes it superior to most other ‘wronged man against the world’ suspensers, and it’s fascinating to watch Sam Neill play a character who is almost an in utero version of many of the characters he would become famous for later in his career. It’s also tempting to wonder if the film’s title isn’t unconsciously intended to remind us of a certain Sam Peckinpah classic released a few years earlier. Sleeping Dogs is a very different canine from Straw Dogs, but in its depiction of a quiet man who is drawn into incredible violence against his own will there are unmistakable similarities.

As someone who worked in the New Zealand film industry during the late 1990s-early 2000s, you’d be forgiven for thinking I’m biased when I tell you that Sleeping Dogs is a masterpiece that belongs in every cinephiles collection. But it’s not biased, it’s the absolute truth. And Sleeping Dogs has never looked better than it does now, on Arrow Academy’s new Blu-ray that also arrives packed with a kennel-full of very welcome extras including a commentary and two fascinating Making of documentaries. Sleeping Dogs still bites deep. Don’t miss it.

SLEEPING DOGS (1977) / CERT: 15 / DIRECTOR: ROGER DONALDSON / SCREENPLAY: IAN MUNE, ARTHUR BAYSTING / STARRING: SAM NEILL, NEVAN ROWE, IAN MUNE, WARREN OATES / RELEASE DATE: OUT NOW

Ferdinand (John Cena) is a pacifistic bull who meets with childhood ridicule from his peers who aspire to be tough fighting bulls. After running away, he finds a new life with Nina (Lily Day), a young girl who adopts and cares for him, allowing him to grow into an absolutely huge, adult prize-bull. A series of inevitable mishaps later and he’s carted back to his childhood ranch by the authorities where he is forced to train to fight, whilst trying to find a way back to Nina.

The film is the latest offering from Blue Sky Studios, a company probably best known for producing the Ice Age movies. Most notably, it scooped a nomination for Best Animated Picture at the most recent Oscars, though there’s a definite argument that, in the year where fellow nominees included The Boss Baby, perhaps the film was somewhat running unopposed.

Ferdinand is glossy and accomplished in that way where you can tell that they spent $111 million making it, but it’s lacking in real artistry behind its technical accomplishments. The animation and character designs are, at best, functional, whilst the cast is made up of predominantly quite bland vocal talent. Best known for giving performances inside a wrestling ring, John Cena is a surprisingly competent actor, but as the voice of Ferdinand he might as well be anyone. The vast majority of the cast sound as though they’re trying far too hard to sell fairly uninspired material. Even the particularly strong members of the cast are wasted as David Tennant inexplicably dons a not-particularly-great cartoony voice whilst Kate McKinnon spends the film awkwardly emulating Ellen DeGeneres as Dory. The end results are annoying more often than not.

Initially, Ferdinand feels very kiddy, like a film designed with no aspirations beyond being a straight-to DVD effort a parent might put on to buy themselves 108 minutes of peace from their three-year-old. As the plot develops, however, things get more interesting. There are some flashes of darkness that are surprising given how toothless most of the film is, and once the plot actually gets going the characters do begin to earn your emotional investment. It’s hard not to eventually warm to a huge, cuddly man-cow, and the stakes ramp up towards the end which makes for some very welcome, fun action sequences.

The Blu-ray contains a huge number of special features. The vast majority of them are what might as well be PowerPoint presentations with one of the film’s cast members talking over the top, in-character, but there’s also the more conventional making-of documentaries, a music video, concept art, a trailer and a strange Blue Peter-esque activity video for children.

As a film, Ferdinand doesn’t reinvent the wheel, but, like its titular character, it may be simplistic but it’s also solid and very sweet.

FERDINAND / CERT: U / DIRECTOR: CARLOS SALDANHA / SCREENPLAY: VARIOUS / STARRING: JOHN CENA, LILY DAY, KATE MCKINNON, DAVID TENNANT, GINA RODRIGUEZ, DAVEED DIGGS, BOBBY CANNEVALE / RELEASE DATE: OUT NOW

Fourth highest grossing film at the worldwide box office, depending on where you look for your info, is hardly a position to sniff at. A sequel is all but signed off, nay, a franchise is born. With this in mind, it would seem trite to posit the idea that this is a movie struggling to find its audience, a movie that isn’t quite sure what it is or what it wants to be. Jungle-based kids movie for a new generation or nostalgia piece for generation X or Y or whatever nineties kids are called these days?

Upon its announcement, there were cries of “Why? God, Why?!” Then The Rock was added to the project, along with Jack Black, Karen Gillan and Kevin Hart. OK, OK, hmm and hmm you might say, regarding those casting choices. Then came the news of the updating of the game itself, the gender swap for one of the characters and the straight-up body swapping for the rest of the cast. Things were looking glum for this sequel to a genre favourite.

Then it hit screens a mere few weeks preceding last year’s other big hitter The Last Jedi. Somehow it managed to smash all box office expectation, riding the top spot into the New Year. Reviews were favourable, with the general consensus being that it wasn’t as bad as people though it might be. Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle found its stride and its audience.

And, yet, it sits in add odd place when viewed in the home. Dwayne Johnson still plays The Rock, Jack Black is still an irritating shit/comedic god (depending on your point of view), Karen Gillan still pouts better than acts, and Kevin Hart essays irritated little fellow in his own inimitable style. That’s not a compliment by the way.

The problem though, is neither the actors, the filming nor the effects. It’s the script. True, there are laugh-out-loud moments, but for parents taking their children to see this; do they really want their son or daughter repeating the line “Come look at my penis!”? A later erection joke is similarly misguided in terms of its child-friendly audience. The flipside of this is that there are no jokes aimed squarely at the grownups, leaving you feeling that Hart’s character could’ve been let off the leash in terms of swears and cusses.

Somehow though, it works. As a piece of pure entertainment, it hits the mark. You just have to forget the original movie ever existed: clumsy nod to Robin Williams’ character aside. You will care about the characters, you will enjoy the ride, but you might just be left wondering whether this was a spec script with Jumanji slapped on it. Jumanji: Welcome to the Cloverfield.

JUMANJI: WELCOME TO THE JUNGLE / CERT: 12 / DIRECTOR: JAKE KASDAN / SCREENPLAY: VARIOUS / STARRING: DWAYNE JOHNSON, JACK BLACK, KAREN GILLAN, KEVIN HART, NICK JONAS, BOBBY CANNAVALE / RELEASE DATE: APRIL 30TH

Finally available in HD, this often forgotten film of the late seventies ‘creepy child’ subgenre is given a new lease of life and should be on every horror fan’s wish list, particularly thanks to some very iconic imagery and moments of genuine terror.

It should be the happiest day of young Karen’s life: her first communion. However, older sister Alice (Sheppard) is more than a little jealous of mother’s favourite Karen (Shields, making her film debut). It all ends in tragedy, however, when Karen is slain by a masked assailant in the church. The killer is also wearing the distinctive official raincoat of the congregation, and the mask is of a type that Alice likes to wear while playing pranks on her family. Could the innocent child have taken things too far? All fingers certainly point that way and even her aunt (Lowry) is convinced she did it, particularly after she herself was attacked on the stairs of the family’s apartment. While Alice’s estranged father (Niles McMaster), mother (Miller) and even the priest (Willrich) attempt to get to the bottom of what is causing her to go off the rails, the bodies begin to start piling up.

Well regarded among horror fans, Alice Sweet Alice has aged surprisingly well and stands up to repeated viewings like many of the best films of the seventies, particularly with its look and style. It plays like an American giallo, managing to mix tension with shocks splendidly. There’s an eerie quality to the acting, which ranges from compelling (Sheppard) to histrionic (Lowry), but the latter doesn’t detract from the drama, in fact, it actually adds to the overall feeling of uneasiness. Elements of religious iconology juxtapose against the occasional (and actually quite restrained despite the film’s reputation) bursts of violence, and by revealing the killer’s identity with some running time left switches the focus slightly in a refreshing way.

There are some troubling elements, such as the sexualisation of 12-year-old Alice (Sheppard was actually 19 when she made the film, though) particularly with the lurid attentions of the obese and decidedly odd urine-stained landlord (Alphonso DeNoble, who died two years after filming aged only 31) who lives in the downstairs apartment. It’s not out of place with films of the time but doesn’t sit right these days. However, it certainly adds another level of nastiness to the story. The connotations of a conflicted religious family unit subtly implied, particularly as Alice is jealous of the fuss made of Karen; there must be some reason why she hadn’t been confirmed herself, and the mother’s flirting with the young, handsome priest.

A minor classic, it was originally seen in the UK as Communion (shockingly, the original VHS release had a spoiler on the front cover!), and we were told when 88 Films released the DVD version that no Blu-ray would be coming as the negative was unusable. So how have we got this? Surely not a nasty upscale? No, thankfully, they wouldn’t be that grabbing. Instead, we have a new 2K scan of a positive print (under the re-release title Holy Terror) and while it isn’t as pristine as one would have hoped, it’s certainly a step above the DVD, although there are no alternate title sequences included for those of a pedantic nature.

Speaking of extras, the Blu-ray features a commentary by the director and editor Edward Salier ported over from the earlier DVD release and a short side-by-side comparison for the restoration. Nothing major to speak of, then, but it’s interesting to see how much work was actually done to make the film look as good as it does.

ALICE, SWEET ALICE (1976) / CERT: 18 / DIRECTOR: ALFRED SOLE / SCREENPLAY: ROSEMARY RITVO, ALFRED SOLE / STARRING: LINDA MILLER, MILDRED CLINTON, PAULA E. SHEPPARD, JANE LOWRY, BROOKE SHIELDS, RUDOLPH WILLRICH / RELEASE DATE: OUT NOW (WEBSITE EXCLUSIVE), JULY 9TH (GENERAL)

There’s always been a special place in the horror genre for bonkers approaches to traditional stories. Roberto San Sebastian’s debut feature film, The Night of the Virgin, is exactly that; a fresh take on familiar schlocky ground. Schlock is nothing new but schlock, camp, and confrontational sexual imagery is becoming a niche all of its own, one Sebastian clearly revels in.

The Night of the Virgin follows Nico (Javier Bodalo), a leery virgin, who hits the clubs on New Year’s Eve 2015/2016 with the sole aim of losing his virginity. As the night crawls on, Nico is seduced by Medea (Miriam Martin) a mysterious older woman with a dark secret.

It’s a campy subversion of the silly virgin-related slashers of the ‘80s, playing with audience expectation in the daftest ways. It’s a black comedy above all else, piling nasty circumstantial mishaps on each other until the film explodes with farcical energy. It’s a supernatural horror film but in a hilarious accidental way which shows genre-awareness.

The Night of the Virgin plays out like the demented love child of The Greasy Strangler and Inside. There’s the one location tension ride of Inside but Sebastian clearly appreciates the outrageous cum-encrusted humor of The Greasy Strangler. The Night of the Virgin is also one of few horror films of late to acknowledge 2016 was a bit of a weird year, characterizing New Year’s Eve 2015/16 as a kind of fateful gateway to Hell. It’s a gag we can all get in on and really helps set the scene.

Bodalo is a creep straight out of John Waters’ repertoire whilst Martin is the epitome of Euro femme fatale, tired with the world of men and longing for the comfort of her Grecian fem-cult. If the idea of watching a Mr. Bean-like character stumble through a supernatural horror story sounds daunting, don’t worry, Martin is a charismatic screen presence who entices from start to finish.

Aside from arresting performances there’s noteworthy work from cinematographer Adrian Hernandez, particularly the color palette which transforms often drudgy looking interior spaces into lurid pulp locales. With a less creative set of hands behind the scenes, this could have been dull shock-bate, instead it’s a surprisingly funny and nicely made slice of bad taste.

That being said, this is a film which intends to gross you out. The only issue with that is that Sebastian shows so much dedication to topping his gross moments that he loses focus by the finale. The stage is set for a night of tension, but it never quite achieves a consistent pace. There’s great elements and superb set up but by the end your left feeling a bit detached from all the sordid nastiness.

If it didn’t look so good at what it does, this could have been grueling. Instead it’s an often exhilarating, mostly grubby, continually colorful, trip into deranged sexual horror. For a debut feature this is an impressive smorgasbord of pop-schlock and bad taste which marks Sebastian a strong new voice in horror.

NIGHT OF THE VIRGIN / CERT: 15 / DIRECTOR: ROBERTO SAN SEBASTIAN / SCREENPLAY: GUILLERMO GUERRERO / STARRING: JAVIER BODALO, MIRIAM MARTIN, VICTOR AMILIBIA, IGNATIUS FARRAY, ROCIO SUAREZ / RELEASE DATE: OUT NOW

Imagine Austin Powers crossed with a very bad 1970’s Marvel adaptation and you have a rough idea of The Super Inframan, the Shaw Brothers’ 1975 blockbuster film that is getting a UK debut on Blu-ray, courtesy of 88 Films.

Before you watch this purchase, I would seriously suggest you read Calum Waddell’s excellent history and insight into the film in the booklet provided with the disc, as it does place a lot of context and background into a sub-genre of Far East Cinema called Kaiju that has influenced to this day, notably the Pacific Rim films.

However, if you see the film cold without reading the booklet, be prepared for one of the wackiest, spectacularly silly and cheerfully tongue-in-cheek films to come out of the Shaw Brothers studio. It’s quite unlike in some ways anything else they produced, although it does contain those trademark Kung fu fights in the likes of The 36th Chamber of Shaolin, one of the greatest Martial Arts epics.

Even in the original Chinese language dub with English Subtitles, the quite inane dialogue and exchanges between the characters shine through in their banality, but this is part of the charm of a film that admittedly does have some great production design, costumes and some pretty good visual effects.

An earthquake has just threatened the locals, brought on by the recently re-awakened evil Princess Elzebub (Terry Lau). She announces without compromise that she wants the human race to surrender or face the dire consequences. Meanwhile, a science HQ officer, Lei Ma (Danny Lee) decides to sacrifice (willingly, I might add) his own normality to become the ‘Inframan’ of the title, a super-human bionic man with lots of powers (and looking a bit like Michael Jackson in his Thriller get-up!) who leaps into action (literally!) and battles lots of monsters (classic men in rubber suits!) to try and save the day…

Compared to the more recent blockbusters, this is a production that utilises much of the production values and elements at its disposal and modern audiences. Given it was produced two years before Star Wars, some of the effects are actually well-made and the fight sequences are staged effectively in a climax that reminds one of the likes of Barbarella (1968) and Flash Gordon (1980)

You are bound, as this writer did, to laugh and stifle your disbelief at some of the scenes, but that is the whole point of such a daft concept and film, that to its’ credit has more fun per second than a lot of the modern high-concept and big-budgeted blockbusters have, where a lot of them try and take themselves a little too seriously for some people’s liking.

Picture and sound quality of the film (in glorious Shaw Scope) is excellent with attractive packaging. Sadly, aside from the booklet, there aren’t any tantalising extras to gleam over, which leaves only the film to enjoy, but on balance, this is well worth a purchase.

THE SUPER INFRAMAN (1975)/ CERT: 15 /DIRECTOR: SHAN HUA / SCREENPLAY: KUANG NI / STARRING: DANNY LEE, TERRY LIU, HSIEH WANG, MAN-TZU YUAN / RELEASE DATE: APRIL 23RD

There comes a point in any continuing franchise when goodwill leaches away in the sand. For Syfy Channel’s Sharknado series of spoof disaster flicks about electric storms with a fishy twist, that point came about halfway through the first movie. Sharknado was never a smart idea – ‘deliberately bad’ never is; witness Birdemic 2, the sequel to the film that inspired all this, floundering about in the harsh glare of self-awareness – but the gravy train keeps on rolling. So here we are again with number 5, and number 6 already on the way. So much for safe sex.

Nothing has changed in the concept department, it’s the same old mix of awful acting, viciously poor comedy and Poundland SFX. The 20-minute pre-title sequence is just about bearable if you can get past the groaningly unoriginal Raiders of the Lost Ark intro in a Toys R Us plastic cave. In this, we get the set-up: the Sharknados were originally fought and conquered by ancient man using a stone artefact shaped like a shark tooth. We then re-encounter the Shepherd family in London just in time for a Carry On-style shark attack on the city (a moderate-sized country house badly doubling for Buckingham Palace) before young son Gil is swept away in the twister. The ensuing rescue chase ticks off a few more japes from the bucket list (shark snow chase, shark time-travel, shark scorched earth apocalypse etc.) before Dolph Lundgren shows up for some reason at the end looking a bit confused. As usual, the constant stream of forced jokes desperately wave at you like rubberneckers behind Clare Balding on Grand National Day. It’s all slathered in that trademark Die Another Die-level CGI which is presumably designed to engender this turd with a sense of giddy ridiculousness but just adds to the blunt trauma these 90 moronic minutes will inflict on you.

There are enough low-rent ‘celebrity’ cameos to leave you wondering if the estate of the late Max Clifford off-loaded his client list to the Sharknado producers on the cheap. This gratuitous application of crap celebs makes the later works of Michael Winner feel like Merchant Ivory, with the likes of Katie Price, Tom Daley, Sam Fox and Kate Garraway breaking out like hives every few seconds. Short of an orgy at ITV2 Towers, it really doesn’t get more z-list than this. Things pick up briefly when a frail-looking Nichelle Nichols has a scene as a high-ranking dignitary,  although you suspect she may have been kidnapped for the day, so we’re not counting it.  Just to throw in an unexpected curveball, chat show king Geraldo Rivera can actually act and puts everyone else to shame as the moustache-twirling villain. He won’t make that mistake again.

“Same shark, different day”, growls Ian Ziering’s Fin Shepherd wearily at one point with uncanny prescience. Ziering is this generation’s Steve Guttenberg, forever shackled to this hollow, never-ending payday. He may be wise-cracking his way through this stuff with a self-aware smirk, but look deep into his eyes and you’ll see something else staring back this movie can only dream about: blind terror.

SHARKNADO 5: GLOBAL SWARMING / CERT: 15 / DIRECTOR: ANTHONY C. FERRANTE / SCREENPLAY: THUNDER LEVIN / STARRING: IAN ZIERING, TARA REID, BILLY BARRATT, GERALDO RIVERA / RELEASE DATE: OUT NOW

“Remember him before he dismembers you!” proclaims the tagline to release number thirty-six in 88 Films ‘Slasher Classics Collection’. That means, in raw and probably not entirely scientific terms, that 88 have passed over this small-town Oklahoma rampage of not-so-bloody revenge thirty-five times before getting around to it. Welcome to the bottom of the ‘80s slasher barrel. Memorable dismemberment? Afraid not.

The man doing the scraping in this late ‘80s end-of-the original slasher line effort is little-known producer/director/writer Christopher Reynolds (who also ‘acts’ in it) for whom this would be a penultimate assignment before the career-ending low of 1992’s Lethal Justice. Reynolds’ film is a daisy-chain of badly remixed slasher tropes, but with utter predictability comes a certain cosy familiarity. You’ll certainly recognise 10-year-old Johnny, a loner kid terrorised by his fag-chewing hag of a mother who has only one friend, his cute blonde neighbour Gretchen. When local bullies force him into a dare that ends with him tumbling down a deep well, Johnny survives but ends up spending the rest of his sorry youth in the local nut house. Cut to ten years later: Johnny escapes and begins stalking his now-teenage tormentors, slicing bits off them and sending them as love ‘offerings’ to Gretchen, who he still holds a candle for, the lardy mute idiot.

Offerings isn’t stylish enough to be considered a homage: whenever anything sinister is about to happen, the first seven notes of the Halloween theme are played to remind you whose porch Reynolds is pooping on. The grown-up kids, led by Loretta Leigh Bowman as Gretchen, generally do OK for what is a semi-amateur production. They are let down by a script that merely scats around slasher clichés (the psycho who just won’t die, the fat Sheriff, the virginal blonde) and makes no attempt at anything more idiosyncratic. Reynolds directs without finesse, unable to manufacture a soupçon of genuine tension or one decent jump-scare. There is zero depth of character established before each teen is bumped-off which means we have zero empathy for these lambs to the slaughter; the murders themselves are incredibly mild for the era and cry out for a wildcard Tom Savini-style injection of make-up talent which by 1988 (when this was thrown together) was in good supply but, alas, not in Oklahoma. Still, if you’d rather see a shadow on the wall of a pumpkin getting squashed in a vice instead of a dog-food-and-ketchup-packed latex exploding head, this film’s definitely for you, whoever you are.

88 Films’ 2K restoration of the 16mm original negative makes Offerings look like new, which only serves to underline how little it has to, er, offer. The main extra is a fact-filled commentary from The Hysteria Continues podcast, who are usually able to find genuine positives in even the most wretched old rope. Not this time: this one’s for connoisseurs only with caveats aplenty. Still, the guys are entertaining company as they spot each and every one of Offerings many steals from other, better slasher movies.

OFFERINGS / CERT: 18 / DIRECTOR & SCREENPLAY: CHRISTOPHER REYNOLDS / STARRING: LORETTA LEIGH BOWMAN, ELIZABETH GREENE, DOOBIE POTTER, JERRY BREWER / RELEASE DATE: OUT NOW