CHAINED FOR LIFE

chained life

CHAINED FOR LIFE / CERT: 15 / DIRECTOR & SCREENPLAY: AARON SCHIMBERG / STARRING: JESS WEIXLER, ADAM PEARSON, STEPHEN PLUNKETT, CHARLIE KORSMO / RELEASE DATE: OUT NOW

A blind woman walks into a 1930s-era operating theatre, where she inadvertently disrupts the stomach-churning facial surgery that’s taking place. But no, this is just a scene in a low budget horror movie and when the director calls “cut” and the actor playing the blind woman instantly regains her sight, we see this is all make-up and artifice. But what will happen tomorrow, when he disfigured co-star and a cast of scarred, deformed, and otherwise physically imperfect extras arrives? Will she be able to see beyond their abnormalities to the hearts that lie within? Is the Herr Director (who, rumour has it, spent a childhood travelling with the circus and may not even be German) making a film that challenges our perceptions of ugliness and beauty, or is he exploiting the new arrivals as Tod Browning arguably did when he directed Freaks? As the film within a film develops, and the line between fiction and reality becomes steadily more blurred, the actor finds herself unexpectedly drawn towards her funny and gently spoken leading man. But what will happen when the production wraps and she returns to a world where beauty and vanity are prized above everything, and what of the scarred murderer who is at loose somewhere near the hospital where they’ve been filming?

Chained for Life is a frequently wonderful film, combining a powerful human message with some fantastic black comedy jabs at the shallowness and ridiculousness of the movie industry. Writer/director Aaron Schimberg was born with a bilateral cleft lip and an obsessive love of the movie Freaks, so Chained for Life is obviously one from the heart. Jess Weixler (star of the genre-favourite Teeth) is wonderful as the leading lady, and shares great chemistry with Adam Pearson, who – like the character he plays – has the disfiguring disease neurofibromatosis. One of their very first scenes together – when Rosenthal (Pearson) asks Mabel (Weixler) to teach him some acting, we quickly become aware of how much his condition restricts his physical ability to portray emotion but that, even without Mabel’s expressive face, he can still convey all the emotions he needs – is genius. So is the clever multi-layering of the dialogue, which constantly keeps the viewer on their toes (are we watching the film or the film-within-the-film?) In fact, the only flaw in Chained for Life – albeit a big one – is that it sometimes feels a little too meandering, and the ending doesn’t make the definitive statement a film like this needs. Although we’re left wondering where Mabel and Rosenthal’s lives are going to take them, it also feels like Mabel has stepped into another jeopardy which has nothing to do with the movie we’ve just watched. Chained for Life feels like a film you’d need to watch several times over to completely get a grasp on, and even then you couldn’t be certain. That’s a shame, because it carries an important message that shouldn’t have been so lost in translation.

This comprehensive two-disc set also includes Schimberg’s debut film Go Down Death, which is an interesting (although some might say pretentious) piece that’s a lot harder to like. In an undisclosed time and an undisclosed place (it looks like some kind of ramshackle mining town composed mainly of a poker saloon, a whorehouse, and the world’s most unsanitary dentist’s office), a selection of characters monologue aimlessly about death, hopelessness and despair. Meanwhile, the film’s only real protagonist – a young boy called Butler – seems to be doing everybody else’s jobs, including tailoring, grave-digging, and spewing horrendous poetry. Stylistically, it’s a little bit like David Lynch’s Eraserhead, Guy Maddin’s Tales from the Gimli Hospital and Carl Theodor Dreyer’s Vampyr all got thrown into a blender with an early trying-too-hard draft of Samuel Beckett’s Waiting for Godot. But, whereas all those projects had an internal dream-logic and compelling characters that narratively bound all the weirdness together, Go Down Death is in permanent freefall, solely relying on its atmospheric strangeness to get us through. The images are often striking, but you may feel every minute of its overly-long running time.

KILLERMAN

killerman

KILLERMAN / CERT: 15 / DIRECTOR & SCREENPLAY: MALIK BADER / STARRING: LIAM HEMSWORTH, EMORY COHEN, DIANE GUERRERO / CERT: 15 / RELEASE DATE: OUT NOW

After a drug deal goes wrong, Moe Diamond finds himself waking up with little memory of the past. Suffering from a state of amnesia with a bag load of money and drugs in his possession, he must scour the streets in search of answers whilst trying to keep himself alive at whatever the cost. Written and directed by Malik Bader, Killerman is a gritty crime thriller that throws subtlety out the window in favour of crime cliches from the past. As one might have guessed from the film’s title, Bader’s latest offering doesn’t shy away from living up to its hard-boiled roots by combining mystery and intrigue with dollops of bloody violence throughout.

The cast and crew have been able to do a great job at setting the tone thanks in part to some fantastic cinematography by Ken Seng, who perfectly captures the raw and gritty underbelly of New York City. The grim and cold aesthetic is heightened further when combined with Julian DeMarre and Heiko Maile’s music, which does a superb job at elevating all the events that gradually unfold. The synthy repetition of the film’s score is able to heighten the suspense and add an element of gravity to the hardened performances by Liam Hemsworth and Emory Cohen.

However, it’s a shame that they haven’t much to work with as the script at times feels undercooked and with a running time of just under two hours, one does wonder whether a rewrite may have helped make the film more palatable with a wider audience. Luckily, Rick Grayson’s slice and dice editing does enough to keep us hooked to the volatile action on display and keep us somewhat entertained. For a low budget production, Bader has done a fantastic job at setting the tone to this gutsy throwback thriller.

Ultimately, it’s a shame that the script lets the film down as with paper-thin characters, one does find it hard to care about much of the action that takes place. Luckily the villains are despicable enough to warrant us to stick around to the end and see what fate ultimately has in store for them. A propulsive low budget thriller, what Killerman lacks in substance, it more than makes up for in style. Tether your expectations and you might just find yourself bowled over by this bold and brutish caper.

RENT-A-PAL

rent a pal

Set at the height of the videotape era, Rent-a-Pal stars Brian Landis Folkins as David, a lonely man in his early-40s who looks after his dementia-suffering mother full-time. Seeking some respite from the drudgery of his life, David enrols in a video dating service, and spends hour after hour watching dating tapes, making careful notes in order to submit his matches.

On a visit to the agency, who fleece him for money every time he steps through the door, David acquires a discount tape called Rent-a-Pal, whose host Andy (a suitably-creepy Wil Wheaton) promises to be your new best friend. David begins to spend more and more time with Andy, rewinding the tape for a fresh conversation (which, of course, are all the same conversation), relieving some of loneliness his round-the-clock care for his mother has instilled in his life.

Landis Folkins is wonderful as David, a picture of a man trapped by his circumstances and slowly losing his grip on reality as Andy becomes more involved in his life, and when he finally matches with someone at the agency – Amy Rutledge’s Lisa – things do not go as you desperately hope they will.

Written and directed by first-timer Jon Stevenson, Rent-a-Pal’s period setting is never played for laughs or empty nostalgia, and the situation David finds himself in is applicable to more technologically-advanced eras. Stevenson imbues the piece with a claustrophobic and psychological malaise, and his stylistic choices only add to the portrait of a man on the edge of a breakdown.

Rent-a-Pal is an understated gem, and deserves a huge audience for all its principals, dealing with a subject that is rarely touched upon by mainstream cinema.

COUNTDOWN

countdown

COUNTDOWN / CERT: 15 / DIRECTOR & SCREENPLAY: JUSTIN DEC / STARRING: JORDAN CALLOWAY, ELIZABETH LAIL, TALITHA ELIANA BATEMAN / RELEASE DATE: MARCH 2ND

In the opening scene to director Justin Dec’s Countdown, a character at a party says of the titular mobile program, “Don’t be such a little beeyotch. It’s just an app,” while trying to convince Courtney (Anne Winters) to put it on her phone. Courtney, of course, installs it with barely a look at the app’s terms of service and, within minutes, she’s killed horribly after deciding not to ride home with her drunken boyfriend, Evan (Dillon Lane).

Countdown is about the latest hot app which tells users how much longer they have to live. Those with decades left are blasé about the whole thing, but the ones who discover they have just days – or even hours – to live immediately begin to freak out, trying to figure out how they might avoid the clutches of the grim reaper.

The terms of service violations come from when the characters, such as brand new nurse Quinn Harris (Elizabeth Lail), use the information to change their behavior, staying away from plans which might place them in harm’s way during the timeframe in which they’re slated to slip off this mortal coil. Of course, that makes the app unhappy, and things will happen to assure that characters pass when they’re slated to do so.

Countdown is not fresh or original. There’s an insane level of lifting from the Final Destination series, in terms of the whole ‘death will find you’ angle, and every death is pre-loaded with enough fake-out jump scares to be of minimal shock when the actual kills come along.

The entirety of Countdown is fairly self-aware, pointing out how often those watching the movie are on their phones and how little attention is paid to the fine print one is supposed to read before tapping on the “I have read and agree to abide by the terms of service.” It’s basically the future of End User License Agreements. Think Facebook but, if you delete it, they slit your throat. A little too close to home maybe for some, but it’s a very timely concept, even if done in a manner, which is clunky and awkward.

Happily, all the ancillary characters – P.J. Byrne as Father John, Tom Segura as Derek – are in on the joke, and having too much fun to be ignored. They make Countdown as enjoyable as it can be, and they seem to relish the absurd lines they’re given to spout, letting them come across as more than sketches, replete with quirks and full of verve, whereas all of the teens and young adults being affected by the app are basically generic murder fodder. They’re not enough to save Countdown from being forgotten within a week of its release, but at least those performances give viewers something worth watching.

APPARITION

APPARITION

APPARITION / CERT: 15 / DIRECTOR: WAYMON BOONE / SCREENPLAY: MARK S. ALLEN, ROB ROSE / STARRING: MENA SUVARI, KEVIN POLLACK, MEGAN WEST, ANNALISA COCHRANE / RELEASE DATE: OUT NOW

In the advent of new technology, it’s almost expected for a bore of low budget horror films to be churned out to cash in on whatever tools/devices are burgeoning. Typically by turning them into weapons (or personifications) to obliterate a totter of teen stereotypes. Social media horrors like Unfriended and Friend Request, etc. have recently pathed the way for app-focused genre films like the recent Countdown, and now this latest flaccid spectre schlep: Apparition.

 ‘Based on actual events’, the set-up sees a half-crazed, drug-addled mother turn on her two sons before stabbing herself to death. A Se7en-style credit sequence unfurls, splicing jittery newspaper clippings and sinister images which segue into a restart at the Preston School of Industry: a real-life, supposedly haunted boys’ reformatory in Ione, California. The plot picks up with the two brothers from the intro, suggesting they were accused of killing their mother. They are then tormented further by a zealot warden, bullied, tortured, and dunked into a chemical-laden water tank to be disinfected.

A decade or two later: a grating, generic teen clique travel to the dilapidated reformatory (filmed in the actual Preston castle) after an app connecting the living with the dead tells them to do so. Once there, the friends battle a glut of ghosts in this hackneyed, bloodless and fright free fracas that sees galling characters unimaginatively culled in a glaringly obvious manner/order. The cast bob about all muddied and confused with their phones held out before them, in attempt to evade the miffed spirits before meeting not so grizzly demises.

The script unravels swiftly but clunkily; failing to develop key characters enough for viewers to care about what happens to them. Despite utilising new technology, Apparition does little to progress the horror genre. Instead resorting to textbook scare tactics which tick subgenre/marketing boxes but totally fail to terrify. Kevin Pollok pops up as the seething Warden White alongside American Pie/ Beauty’s Mena Suvari as his wife Anna, but both fail to elevate Apparition into being remotely worthwhile.

GET GONE

Get Gone

GET GONE / CERT: 15 / DIRECTOR & SCREENPLAY: MICHAEL THOMAS DANIEL / STARRING: LIN SHAYE, ROBERT MIANO, RICO E. ANDERSON, WESTON CAGE COPPOLA / RELEASE DATE: OUT NOW

When an Internet ‘fake video’ team investigate a legend about infamous freaks living in the Oregon woods, their plans quickly go awry. In fact, a weekend that should have involved some harmless myth bustin’, weed smokin’ and team buildin’ turns into a night of head smashin’, throat slashin’ and body manglin’. Apart from the two female team members who are kept alive and intact for… umm… other purposes.

Because here’s the real skinny on that family of backwoods psychos: they’re called the Maxwell clan, and they’re already mighty fired up because an oil drilling company has bought the land they’ve spent the last 30 years happily squatting on. Now the company’s coming to evict the Maxwells, and they ain’t beyond gettin’ rough about it. However, Ma and Pa Maxwell and their sons ain’t goin’ nowhere, and their sons ain’t freaks, neither. They’re just victims of contaminated water that’s turned their skin white and transformed them into homicidal lunatics is all. The oil drillers were in for a heck of a nasty fight, but the Hoax Busters got here first and paid the price for it. Can brave Ranger Rico singlehandedly save the abducted women before hillbilly hulk Patton Maxwell (Coppola) uses at least one of them to give his Mama (Shaye) a grandbaby? And what’s with the Maxwell sibling who’s scuttling mutely around the barn lookin’ for fresh flesh to gnaw on? The DVD box cover says ‘Terror is Here’ and that’s the biggest horror of them all, because it’s downright false advertisin’. What’s actually here is a tepid, bloodless rehash of almost every Chainsaw Massacre and Hills Have Eyes rip-off ever made, and not even a barely-there subplot about the environmental (and human) damage caused by oil drilling and fracking can inject any interest. That’s a shame, because this is a film that could have been a lot better if it had taken the Nightbreed route of ‘the monsters are not the ones to be afraid of.’ As it is, the ever-reliable Lin Shaye is Get Gone’s only saving grace, and even her presence isn’t enough to lift the movie out of the swamp.

Also, don’t be fooled by the creepy masked killer on the poster art. The producers obviously figured that if Get Gone was a hit that mask will be all over the stores in time for Halloween. It won’t be, although if you’re one of the few people who enjoys this film it might be worth wearing a mask to protect your anonymity.

THE COURIER

BLU-RAY, DVD, VOD | CERT: 15 | DIRECTOR: ZACKARY ADLER | SCREENPLAY: ZACKARY ADLER, JAMES EDWARD BARKER | STARRING: OLGA KURYLENKO, GARY OLDMAN, AMIT SHAH, DERMOT MULRONEY | RELEASE DATE: OUT NOW

The definition of ‘phoning it in’ has never been more blatantly depicted than in Zackary Adler’s colourless thriller The Courier. Apart from a scene edging toward a welcome finale – that if you don’t see coming then you’ve really not been paying attention – Dermot Mulroney’s Special Agent only has interaction via the telephone, and he looks just like a man reading his lines from cue cards, counting down the moments until he gets paid. And he isn’t the worst thing in a thriller woefully light on plot and performance.

That plot, such as it is, revolves around a motorcycle courier who inadvertently delivers a ‘murder package’ to a hotel room in which a trial witness is being held. Said witness, now on the run, is protected by the aforementioned courier – who just happens to be ex-special forces – in a locked down carpark while crime boss Gary Oldman wearily wanders his opulent New York apartment trying to look cross.

And that’s about all you need to know as that’s about all that happens.

The main problem with Adler’s script and subsequent film is that there are just too many questions unanswered; why did the courier help in the first place? Why hide in a sealable underground carpark? Why weren’t actors cast instead of anyone who simply turned up to the auditions looking menacing with a London accent? What was Gary Oldman thinking?

In an action film that propels itself along with pace and style many of these issues can be overlooked; oftentimes a good slice of hammy fun is exactly what you need. But here the action is interspersed with boredom. Initially there are overlong scenes of the courier speeding through a deserted London and latterly Oldman’s eye-patched villain listening to music with his good eye closed. Neither of which are particularly interesting.

When the action does come, and we’ll be honest here, it is impressively visceral and highlights the film’s one success: Olga Kurylenko. As the leather-clad heroine she kicks, punches, and slashes her way through the seemingly endless number of steroid fuelled cockneys sent to hurt her while still finding time to exhibit some genuine humour and warmth. She is a character you can get onside with, one you can root for, and a strong presence on screen. The problem is that every time Kurylenko is not in shot you are reminded all over again what a mess The Courier is.

This was a good idea let down by largely poor acting, a dubious script, and a straight-to-video sensibility. It might work for some but with so many films and shows fighting for attention The Courier will soon be lost down the back of the Netflix sofa.

BLISS

bliss

BLISS / CERT: 18 / DIRECTOR & SCREENPLAY: JOE BEGOS / STARRING: DORA MADISON, TRU COLLINS, RHYS WAKEFIELD, JEREMY GARDNER / RELEASE: OUT NOW

Conceptual artist Dezzy Donahue (Madison) is struggling to complete her latest large canvas commission, and finds herself dropped by her irritated agent. Broke and on the verge of being thrown out of her loft apartment by her impatient landlord, Dezzy looks for some respite from the pressures in her life. She parties hard, enjoying an excess of alcohol, drugs, and intense sexual encounters.

But while Bliss begins with a voyeuristic celebration of Bohemian hedonism, it quickly shifts into far darker and more unsettling territory. When Dezzy starts to experiment with the more hardcore merchandise in her dealer’s inventory, and falls in with some of the scene’s more freaky associates, things turn serious. As she suffers blackouts, and what appear to be horrifying hallucinations of vampiric murder, she is gripped by paranoia. Yet with the passing of each debauched evening, new yearning human silhouettes are mysteriously added to her unfinished painting. Adrift from the everyday moorings in her life, Dezzy’s own appetites become ever more extreme.

Bliss sets aside most of the usual narrative conventions of the horror movie, to favour the ‘sensory experience’ of its transgressive setting over the narrow concerns of plot. Writer-director Joe Begos shows no interest in making any of his characters likeable. As there’s no one for the audience to root for, all attention can be focused on the bucketloads of weird unfolding on screen. If the distinctions between fantasy, dreams, and reality are not always evident to the viewer, that is also clearly Begos’ intention. This far-from-derivative endeavour benefits from some assured cinematography, suitably frenetic editing and a carefully crafted and edgy soundscape.

But the entire movie ultimately pivots on what’s a hugely demanding performance by Dora Madison in the role of Dezzy. The young actor endured a pretty tough shoot. She’s frequently seen in various stages of undress, covered from head to foot in gore, and shown in the throes of manic intoxication, or fragile and shattered in its aftermath. As she observes on one of the disc’s three audio commentaries, she’s often depicted “looking like shit” in close-up. Hers is a commendably committed presence, which sees her buy in fully to her director’s aspirations.

The notion of the artist who can only be truly creative under the influence of pharmacology and indulgent excess is not new. Neither is the premise of a dealer with super-powerful new merchandise; nor that of a bloodthirsty cabal of vampires seducing new recruits. So Bliss has to stand or fall on the strength of its realisation of a psychologically-deranged artist battling their (literal and figurative) demons. It’s certainly a pretty intense eighty-minute ride through the darker corners of addiction and compulsion, but it ends up being a film more likely to be experienced than savoured by most viewers.

OVER THE GARDEN WALL

over the garden wall

DVD, BLU-RAY | CERT: PG | STARRING: ELIJAH WOOD, COLLIN DEAN, MELANIE LYNSKEY | RELEASE DATE: MARCH 2ND

Five years since its initial release on the Cartoon Network, Patrick McHale’s Emmy award-winning animated miniseries is finally available on Blu-ray in the UK. The show follows brothers Wirt (Elijah Wood) and Greg (Collin Dean) as they wander lost in an autumnal forest wilderness called ‘The Unknown’, regularly encountering talking animals, walking pumpkins, and ferry-boating frogs, all the while being stalked by a mysterious entity known as ‘The Beast’.

The miniseries’ cast features several STARBURST faves, with Christopher Lloyd, John Cleese, and Tim Curry all lending their voices. Cleese particularly excels in his two roles as Adelaide of the Pasture and an eccentric tea company owner, Quincy Endicott, raising both characters through his verbal tics and performance. The older brother Wirt’s worry and anxiousness about trying to find a way home (and just about everything else) is balanced wonderfully with Greg’s carefree childishness where the only thing even approaching a concern for him is trying to think of a name for a pet frog he found. They also find a talking bluebird called Beatrice who acts as a guide to The Unknown for the lost brothers.

McHale took inspiration from the old cartoons from Fleischer, Tex Avery, and similar from the 1920s and ‘30s, particularly the dreamlike eighth episode ‘Babes in the Wood’. The series keeps a slightly dark and wistful quality that separates it from other Cartoon Network series. As it is a modern Cartoon Network series, there are of course songs throughout and Over the Garden Wall has a few folk-style songs that fit the story and universe McHale has created. ‘Potatoes & Molasses’, sang by Dean, is a particularly catchy highlight of the soundtrack.

With only ten, twelve-minute long chapters, the series moves at a good pace and doesn’t outstay its welcome; each episode is fairly self-contained as the boys come across new situations. Over the Garden Wall was made to stand alone by itself as a single miniseries, so there are no loose ends, although there is a comic book miniseries by Boom! Studios that explores The Unknown a little more, and there will sadly be no more further seasons of the cartoon.

While the animation doesn’t reach the quality of its contemporaries like Steven Universe  or Adventure Time, Over the Garden Wall’s fairly unique feel, its vocal performances and its writing more than make up for these small shortcomings.

DANIEL ISN’T REAL

daniel

BLU-RAY, VOD | CERT: 15 | DIRECTOR: ADAM EGYPT MORTIMER | SCREENPLAY: ADAM EGYPT MORTIMER & BRIAN DELEEUW | STARRING: MILES ROBBINS, PATRICK SCHWARZENEGGER, SASHA LANE, HANNAH MARKS, MARY STUART MASTERSON | RELEASE DATE: FEBRUARY 10TH 

After suffering a violent family trauma, college freshman Luke decides to resurrect his imaginary childhood friend to help him cope with his everyday anxiety. Charismatic, peppy, and often manipulative, Daniel helps Luke come out of his shell and gain the life he’s always wanted. Unfortunately, things begin to take a turn for the worse as what started as a promising ‘friendship’ soon descends into a nightmarish fight for his very own sanity. 

Based on the novel In This Way I Was Saved by Brian Deleeuw, Daniel Isn’t Real is a stylish psychological horror that’s bursting with ingenuity from start to finish. Boasting a talented young cast and strong performances throughout, Adam Egypt Mortimer has done an incredible job at the helm to this ‘new-retro’ horror. Instead of feeling like a pastiche of the past, Mortimer has been able to use familiar horror tropes whilst injecting new life to a tried and tested formula. Combining Chris Clark’s atmospheric score with Lyle Vincent’s stunning cinematography, Daniel Isn’t Real succeeds in creating a flashy alternative to a genre that has been plagued by cattleprod cinema. 

When it comes to the performances, Miles Robbins flourishes in the role of Luke, switching from vulnerable loner to suave romancer with ease. His slow descent into madness is never overplayed, and his talents in front of the camera are clear for all to see. Patrick Schwarzenegger portrays the devilish Daniel with much restraint while still being able to brood with authoritative flare at all the right moments. His cool and confident demeanour is the perfect embodiment of a man who’s willing to take risks at whatever the cost. When relations sour, both actors are able to let loose in what’s an entertaining and thoroughly thrilling finale. 

Although some may find issues with its portrayal of mental illness, it’s clear to see that there’s something far more sinister at work. In a society where everything is a hot topic, Daniel Isn’t Real is able to take a well-used horror device and keep it fresh for a whole new audience without ever being disrespectful. Containing a great story with some ambitious, practical effects, Mortimer been able to craft an imaginative film that harks back to ‘80s horror. A refreshing palate cleanser from the generic horror films that have dominated the cinemas in recent years, Daniel Isn’t Real is a breath of fresh air that’ll surely gain a cult following in years to come. Strong performances, a solid script and innovative direction help make this film a must-watch amongst horror enthusiasts.