Review Category: Movie

GIVE ME PITY!

If you are old enough to remember the awful, overblown TV variety specials we were almost constantly bombarded with in the ‘70s and ‘80s, then Amanda Kramer’s Give Me Pity! will be a nightmarish prospect. Think Bette Midler, The Osmonds, or even the infamous Star Wars Holiday Special, and you’ll have an idea of the vibe Kramer was going for.

It’s performer Sissy St. Claire’s first-ever live TV spectacular, and she’s a fountain of nervous energy. However, mid-way through her opening number, visual glitches begin to interfere with the televised image. As several awkwardly lame skits – with added canned laughter – unfold, things begin to get stranger and a figure appears to be stalking Sissy from the wings of the studio.

Give Me Pity! is presented as a garish variety show with Sissy and her ego and desire to be perfect and the centre of attention despite things going wrong. She perseveres despite everything that happens, from nasty letters in the ‘mail from fans’ sections to celebrity guests cancelling and a hooker sketch that gets incredibly dark.

Sophie von Haselberg confidently embodies the fame-hungry Sissy, and the skits and monologues become increasingly open, betraying her confident façade. She’s mesmerising as she carries the film (and the in-film show) almost singlehandedly, allowing the character’s flaws to gradually seep through. Writer/director Kramer takes the simple conceit and weaves it into a psychotronic nightmare. It’s not an easy watch, you’ll either be drawn into the kitschiness or turned off by the awkwardness of the star who’s desperate for success and adoration and the alarmingly inappropriate skits. It’s a bold venture, and the attention to detail – from the 4:3 framing, ‘70s colour, the diva performance, and the ad break cards – is perfect. It’s more of a performance art piece more than a narrative movie, but it’ll likely pick up a cult audience with the right exposure.

Bulldog Film Distribution presents GIVE ME PITY! in cinemas and on demand from November 10th.

NOWHERE

Albert Pinto’s Spanish language all-at-sea survivalist thriller Nowhere has been making waves, and it’s not hard to see why. Brutal, relentless, absolutely unforgiving, Nowhere is an exhausting, edgy, nerve-shredding film that offers little in the way of optimism and might just leave you feeling hopelessly pessimistic about human nature even as you admire the extraordinary determination to survive, demonstrated by its protagonist Mia (Anna Castillo) in a film that’s pretty much a one-hander.

It’s intimated that society in the near future is at the point of collapse all over the world; societal disorder and food shortages are rife, and governments have become tyrannical as they try to maintain order. Pregnant Mia and her husband Nico (Tamar Novas) decide to flee Spain and head to Ireland – where the situation is far less dire – by cargo ship, and they and other refugees board massive containers that are being transported to the coast. But when the military intercepts them, the pair are separated, and Mia finds herself alone in the container as it’s loaded aboard a ship. A storm sends the containers tumbling into the ocean, and Mia has to use anything and everything she can find in the container – most of which isn’t much use to her – to stay alive as it slowly takes on water and the birth of her baby approaches.

Nowhere is bleak and nihilistic and, more often than not, offers nothing but despair and hopelessness. Mia’s determination to survive and protect her unborn child is really the only beacon in the darkness because anything and everything that can go wrong in her struggle eventually does. There are moments of appalling unpleasantness here, not least when Mia stares out through a bolthole in her container and sees another nearby container sinking beneath the waves, its occupants screaming in abject terror. Castillo’s performance is outstanding, and she endures the terrible ordeals the script throws at her with astonishing strength and resilience. In fact, the very act of watching Nowhere is something of an ordeal, and whilst it’s not a film anyone is likely to say they enjoyed, it’s impossible not to admire the artistry with which it’s been made and the sometimes well-hidden spirit of survival it grimly celebrates. A brilliant but deeply troubling experience.

NOWHERE is streaming now on Netflix

THE LAST VIDEO STORE [FrightFest Halloween 2023]

Expanding their short film of the same name, co-writers/directors Cody Kennedy and Tim Rutherford evoke the affection for VHS with this Evil Dead meet Clerks romp.

Kevin (Kevin Martin, also seen espousing the joys of working in a real video shop in Cult of VHS) is the custodian of Blaster Video, a geek whose social skills are as lacking as his knowledge of obscure films is vast. When Nyla (Yaayaa Adams) comes in to return some overdue tapes that her recently deceased father had taken out, a nightmarish fight for survival begins. One of the titles returned is a mysterious ‘cursed’ tape, the Videonomicon, which should never be played. Naturally, the curious Kevin pops it into his machine and presses play…

The resulting carnage sees relics of the video era blast from the cathode ray screen and into the shop, with Kevin and Nyla attempting to fend them off. It’s all a glorious ode to the schlocky titles we loved in the ‘80s, right down to the simple visual and practical effects. Think Charles Band meets early Sam Raimi, and you won’t be far off. How much you get out of this knockabout horror-comedy depends on your connection to the forgotten time that Kevin (the character and the actor) has enveloped himself in. It’s all about nostalgia, after all.

Many of us will relate to Kevin, and the enthusiasm of all involved is contagious, but The Last Video Store suffers by trying too hard. Had this come before the likes of Scream, people would be flipping out over it. As it stands, it’s a lot of fun, but we can’t help feeling that it’s all been done before. Which, we guess, could also be indicative of the plethora of titles that flooded the video shop shelves back in the golden age of rental, before the evil conglomerates got their claws into it.

THE LAST VIDEO STORE screened as part of Pigeon Shrine FrightFest Halloween.

8 FOUND DEAD

The holiday rental home horror subgenre picks up pace with the addition of director Travis Greene’s 8 Found Dead. This comedy-horror of manners isn’t so smarty pants about it as to hide the letters ‘Airbnb’ in its title, but it’s still pretty arch.

When two couples convene at a sleek, modern guest house in the desert for a weekend getaway, they’re disarmed to find the place already occupied by Liz (Rosanne Limeres) and Richard (Tim Simek). Splitting its narrative between the couples’ staggered arrival times, Greene and screenwriter Jonathan Buchanan draw suspense from the surely impending atrocities – less whodunnit, more what have they dun?

A slick, striking opening sequence sets the table well, even if it’s not entirely representative of the slow burn which follows. Greene and Buchanan are far more interested in building tension and tormenting their characters through vicious banter and the barbed tongues of its villains.

Like Who Invited Them before it, this is a subverted take on the home invasion subgenre – the violence building steadily through microaggressions and snide commentary. It’s not quite so polished as its 2022 predecessor – nor so fun as Barbarian’s own deliciously uncomfortable opening – but its splattery climax still succeeds in getting the blood pumping.

The body count may be a foregone conclusion, but the charm is in the journey there. In this respect, 8 Found Dead is an entertaining, if slightly bumpy, ride.

8 FOUND DEAD is out now on digital platforms.

CALVAIRE (2005)

Often imitated, never bettered, no horror film has ever managed to capture the lightning-in-a-bottle delirious lunacy of Tobe Hooper’s The Texas Chain Saw Massacre. A lot of hapless teenagers and idiot hippies have followed in those footsteps in the years following, but none have managed to get further than the dinner table and a chittering madman in a butcher’s apron.

Until, that is, 2004’s Calvaire (The Ordeal, in English, or a variation on ‘fuck,’ or ‘bloody hell,’ if you want to be Quebecois about it). Adjacent to the early noughties’ French extremist movement (see also: Martyrs, Inside, Haute Tension), Fabrice Du Welz’s backwoods horror film is surprisingly lacking its peers’ excessive gore but remains the most troubling of them all.

When his van breaks down in rural Belgium, cheesy crooner Marc (Laurent Lucas) takes refuge in a remote inn, run by the strange but seemingly harmless Bartel (Jackie Berroyer). Only Marc’s simpering countenance unlocks something in the lonely old farmer, who sees something in the singer that he previously recognised in his wife. Uh-oh.

A sucker punch, a haircut, and a length of rope later, Marc finds himself the guest of honour at an increasingly unhinged Christmas with Belgium’s own League of Gentlemen. Here the slow burn reaches peak burn, and narrative gives way to surrealist dance routine, heavy-handed symbolism (the crucifixion is so on-the-nose as to be up it) and all manner of screeching, screaming, and snot-nosed snivelling.

Now remastered, the imagery pops, and the Belgian countryside looks more chilly and foreboding than ever – but it’s in the sound design where Calvaire truly unsettles. From Marc’s miserable crying to the squealing of a tortured pig, it’s a hard, almost unbearable listen – and the closest any film has ever come to capturing the insanity of Texas Chain Saw’s dinner table sequence.

CALVAIRE is out now on digital platforms.

THEY WAIT IN THE DARK

Amy (Sarah McGuire) is on the road with her adopted son, Adrian (Patrick McGee). They’re heading towards Amy’s former home, now hers, following her father’s death. They are fleeing Amy’s ex, Judith (Laurie Catherine Winkel), who left Amy with a knife wound in her side. With help from her old school friend, Jenny (Paige Maria), she looks to be getting her life together, but Judith isn’t the only thing from her past that she has to fear…

Tautly written and directed by Patrick Rea (I am Lisa), They Wait in the Dark is an always twisting, raw tale that blends mounting dread, be it from demented partners or vengeful spectres. Amy’s early life is explored in flashbacks that gradually reveal secrets and flesh the story well. Her past is full of abusive elements, be it from her mother or partner, and obviously, this has an effect on her. There’s no denying that she is desperate to save her child, and she’s certainly pushed to the limits. The patient way that Rea drip-feeds the audience what they need to know is impressive and certainly leaves the viewer questioning their feelings. He also avoids the usual pitfalls of low-budget filmmaking with the help of his cast (even the youngster McGee puts in a great performance) and his dialogue. It’s naturalistic even when building to the fantastical elements. Hanuman Brown-Eagle’s cinematography plays a big part in selling the story, as does the impressive sound design.

Punching well above its weight, They Wait in the Dark is well worth checking out.

They Wait in the Dark is out on digital platforms from November 13th.

KILLHER

Another low-budget horror film, another camping trip gone awry. This is no rote day out for hoary old genre tropes, though, and director Robyn August (plus screenwriter Tom Kiesche) soon turns the scenario on its head.

Combining a wedding planning session with a weekend in the woods, Mattie (Jenna Z. Alvarez) and her friends fall prey to a demented monster when they set up camp next to, uh, Mr. Rogers (Kiesche himself, sans red cardigan). Picked off one by one (or worse… kidnapped), the friends face a terrible fight for survival amid the tents and the trees. So far, so Wrong Turn.

Where KillHer sets itself apart from the rest (and there’s a lot of the rest) is in its commitment to subversion and a cheeky refusal to take any of this seriously. Where it might put some off is in its remarkably out-there performances (M.C. Huff’s Eddie is energetic, to say the least) and relatively slow buildup. Its sense of humour won’t be to all tastes either, even if the jokes are less well-worn than other horror comedies.

This is a fresh and vibrant take on the comedy slasher film, buzzing with wit and energy and palpable enthusiasm for the genre. Its snarky approach won’t appeal to all, but the effort is appreciated.

KILLHER is out now in the US.

MARY HAD A LITTLE LAMB

The latest instalment in a growing subgenre of horror films inspired by children’s stories (see also Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey, Three Blind Mice, The Mean One), a beloved 19th-century nursery rhyme gets its turn on the murder-go-round in Jason Arber’s Mary Had a Little Lamb.

This surprisingly gritty slasher film follows true crime podcaster Carla (May Kelly) as she investigates a series of disappearances in the middle of rural nowhere. There, she and her crew (including Ray, played by screenwriter Harry Boxley) encounter ageing weirdo Mary (Christine Ann Nyland) and hear tell of the deformed ‘little lamb’ she keeps hidden away upstairs.

Forced to stay the night after a series of calamities, Carla will come to learn the shockingly bleak story behind the nursery rhyme, while her friends and colleagues are led to the business end of the axe, like lambs to the… well, you know.

There are few surprises to be found here beyond the straight face with which Arber and Boxley choose to tell their story. Kelly and Nyland acquit themselves well, even as the story gets sillier and the Texas Chainsaw Massacre cribbing becomes more blatant. The Lamb (Gaston Alexander) looks a little goofy, but those with a thing for grotesque horror Furries should find their appetites mostly sated.

MARY HAD A LITTLE LAMB is out now on digital platforms in the US.

FIVE NIGHTS AT FREDDY’S

Nine years ago, a global gaming phenomenon was born when Five Nights At Freddy’s was released on PC, and now it is the turn of Freddy and the Gang to make their way onto the big screen as Blumhouse brings us the latest video game movie adaptation.

Mike Schmidt (Josh Hutcherson) is a man down on his luck when it comes to holding a job. Having to take care of his younger sister Abby (Piper Perabo) after their parents have passed away, he is offered a job by a job counsellor (Matthew Lillard) as a night security guard at an abandoned restaurant called Freddy Fazbear’s Pizzeria. Soon after he starts his new job, Mike begins to have visions of when his young brother disappeared and, through meeting a local police officer, Vanessa (Elizabeth Lail), discovers that the animatronics that roams the pizzeria hold a dark, sinister secret along with the owner of the restaurant.

Directed by Emma Tammi, who also co-wrote the film with original game creator Scott Cawthon, this fun, spooky tale of murderous animatronics haunted by vengeful spirits is a thrill ride from start to finish that is a perfect Halloween flick. The film is a love letter to fans of the games, with every frame dripping with stellar attention to detail and a host of Easter eggs and cameos whilst also possessing a solid story and enough scares and memorable moments to satisfy new audiences experiencing Cawthon’s elaborate and deep-lore-ridden world for the first time. The animatronics are fully realised as a physical presence thanks to impeccable work by the Jim Henson Creature Shop.

Five Nights At Freddy’s is an absolute blast from start to finish – a frightfully fun, goofy, and wacky scare-fest that everyone can enjoy this spooky season.

Five Nights At Freddy’s in UK cinemas now. You can read our interview with director Emma Tammi here.

HOW TO SAVE THE IMMORTAL

This Russian-to-English animated fantasy has its fair share of kooky charms, from haunted fog to a chirpy Ginger roll (Daniel Barnes), to a desperate king driven by a nasty Punch puppet (Jordan Worsley). Sadly, some of the elements that keep it going don’t quite save what is an ultimately formulaic romp that will likely only appeal to very young viewers and leave others fidgeting increasingly.

The story centres on the immortal and snappily dressed Drybone (Andrey Kurganov), who has been unable to find a bride for three hundred years. But when the feisty warrior Barbara (Liza Klimova), who is quite literally opposed to a relationship, is sought by the desperate King Lentil (Michael Kleeman), Drybone is blackmailed into attaining his chosen lady for the King. Naturally, these two loners end up striking a connection along the way.

No prizes for guessing how some of this fantasy stuff pans out. How To Save The Immortal may have some of its own quirks, but its structure is familiar to anyone of any age who has ever watched any romantically inclined fantasy before, from Beauty and the Beast to – particularly – Shrek, the latter with which it takes a great deal of its DNA. With its bride-pursuing, villainously pathetic King, action-ready heroine, prickly but lonely lead, and chatty sidekick (albeit replacing a donkey with a ginger bap here).

The animation is certainly on the lower budget end of the market but has its appeal, while some of the voice work also feels half-power, though the effort is largely there overall. However, where How To Save The Immortal slips up is in its plotting, which is a great big tangled bundle. One minute, there is the immortal needle MacGuffin, the next a largely forgotten undead witch subplot and it all feels overstuffed and constantly all too easily distracted. Characters litter the frame, bobbing about here and there, some with very little purpose. While the main plot just all feels too familiar, like a bootleg of bigger, better and – it has to be said – far older movies.

We can’t bring ourselves to give an innocent film featuring bat sidekicks called Stoker and Bram too harsh a grilling, but for viewers over the age of 6, this may prove a bit of a trudge. How To Save The Immortal might have gotten by on some of its successes but feels a bit too forgettable to land that much-needed, memorable, magical touch.