Review Category: Movie

JACOB’S LADDER (2019)

CERT: 15 | PLATFORM: DVD, DIGITAL DOWNLOAD | RELEASE DATE: OCTOBER 5TH

Once again the Hollywood remake machine regurgitates another classic for contemporary audiences but botches every attempt to make it unique and invigorating. This predominantly drab and pallid “re-imagining” of Adrian Lyne’s brooding drug horror does at least try to deviate from the 1990 original, but does it so artlessly and with disregard to – or obliviousness of – what made Lyne’s film so compelling. Director David M. Rosenthal shreds Lyne’s striking style, substituting his urban goth / noir palette for a weak insipidness similar to that of a TV movie.

The remake’s story tells a similar tale of husband / father / doctor Jacob Singer (Michael Ealy) who is approached by a frazzled ex-army vet, Paul (Joseph Sikora), claiming to be a friend of Jake’s late brother Isaac (Jesse Williams). Paul tells Jake that Isaac is still alive, and leads him to a secret society of troubled ex-vets linked to a military-sanctioned drug called HDA. Jacob investigates, but soon starts experiencing intense hallucinations which warp his reality and make him distrust his once close friends and family.

Writers Jeff Buhler and Sarah Thorpe’s script courageously strays from Bruce Joel Rubin’s original, but through a frayed tale that wanes, vacillates and fails to align into an engaging narrative. This fragile foundation is an epic detriment that makes Rosenthal’s film discombobulate, maybe to put the viewer in the mindset of its protagonist, but whether or not that was the writers’ intention is almost irrelevant as this cessation leads to tedium, apathy and dazing despair.

The plot philanders with novel concepts but fails to utilise them efficiently. A conspiracy relating to Jake’s family intrigues but isn’t proficiently employed to convey the potent paranoia that permeated Lyne’s original. The characters are also not as complex or played as credibly as they were in 1990. Key sequences (one set on a train and another in an ice bath) are inelegantly replicated and feel enforced and wedged with a brazen lack of care and élan.

Jacob’s Ladder (’90)‘s ominous air was a key component to its nightmare surrealism working so well, and made weird scenes with monsters and demons more tangible. For director Rosenthal to not retain that, or replace it with something equally distinctive, is an unpardonable blooper. The lack of dynamic visual prowess or teeming menace which made the original so terrifying is patent, as Rosenthal and the writers fail to fashion an apt vision or captivating story. Like the remakes of Poltergeist, A Nightmare on Elm Street and Flatliners, Jacob’s Ladder languishes as a flat and flaccid re-imagining that regurgitates clichés, prunes surrealism and so dispassionately detaches itself from Lyne’s original that it seems wrong they share titles.

MULAN

CERT: PG | PLATFORM: DISNEY+ PREMIER ACCESS

The highly anticipated live-action Mulan is here, and it’s a fascinating experiment for Disney. Mulan is enough of a departure from the 1998 original to discourage comparison, and it’s that bold, almost brazen approach that elevates director Niki Caro’s ambitious adaptation. Unlike the shot-for-shot Beauty and the Beast, The Lion King, and Aladdin remakes, this new realisation of an ages-old ballad dares to try new things, with mixed results.

The film stands tall on the strength of lead actress Liu Yifei and the resounding power of its message, but its handling of magic and mysticism feels noticeably less inspired (and woefully lacking in the Eddie-Murphy-voiced-dragon department). Without Mushu, its fantastical elements have little bearing on Mulan’s evolution as a character, and the script reflects that. It never leans hard enough into its mysticism to feel like a fully realised part of that world. Even the witch coaching and coaxing her feels shoehorned in, a shame considering that particular dynamic’s potential.

Thankfully, though, Caro’s reworking is inspired and resonant enough to warrant a viewing or two. Will Mulan enjoy the longevity of its animated counterpart? Probably not, but the film does place its emotional beats artfully and tactfully, and the result is a well-meaning remake that honours the Ballad of Mulan not through faithfulness to its text, but through expansion of its themes.

Despite Mulan’s lopsided quality, it excels at reimagining the heroine as strong, gentle, and positively brimming with don’t-screw-with-me energy. Greatness may elude it, but its kind-hearted approach and beating heart won’t be lost on people who open themselves to them.

TAILGATE

CERT: TBC / RELEASE DATE: TBC

It’s jarring how similar Tailgate is to the Russell Crowe vehicle Unhinged. The first act and main beats are basically the same (worth mentioning, Tailgate was produced earlier). But the Dutch film is better executed and has a tone that makes it more interesting than the standard American-psycho-on-the-road.

At the center of Tailgate is a picture perfect family that’s anything but. Hans (Jeroen Spitzenbergen, The Paradise Suite) is a chip-on-his-shoulder dude who doesn’t talk but bark orders to his put-upon wife (Anniek Pheifer) and bratty daughters. His alpha male act backfires when he tailgates the wrong guy, an aging serial killer (Willem de Wolf) who enjoys pumping weed poison into his victims.

The psychopath is like a taller, bloodthirsty Larry David: Those who break social conventions are his preferred target. Hans speeds, litters and, despite being given several outs, refuses to apologize. His comeuppance is unavoidable.

At least the top half is filled with unwavering tension. Director Lodewijk Crijns is uniquely competent at staging set pieces in every day traffic: You don’t need a high speed chase to hook the audience. Missing an exit is more than enough. Midway through the film, however, Tailgate loses direction: The characters’ actions stop making sense and there’s a lot of filler.

The one element that remains consistent throughout is a pitch black sense of humor. Even when scrambling, Tailgate resembles the Swedish comedy Force Majeure: Stripped of his bravado and toxic masculinity, Hans reveals himself a pathetic figure. There’s nothing like impending danger to dress down a bully.

THE FACELESS MAN

CERT: TBC / RELEASE DATE: TBC

The Big C. It touches all of us in some ways throughout life, but not a popular trope in genre cinema. Perhaps that’s precisely because it’s a subject too close to home for comfort, but there’s a surprising dearth of horror films about cancer. The banal impermanence of human existence is depressing enough without it getting into our horror films too.

Hoping to distract herself from her fear and trauma, recovering survivor Emily (Sophie Thurling) takes off with her friends to a remote house in the Australian countryside, for a weekend of rest, relaxation, and reckless excess. Orange Lodge’s angry crime boss and creepy hillbillies are one thing, but the nightmarish Faceless Man will bring Emily face to face(less) with her worst nightmare incarnate – the physical embodiment of death, and in serious need of a manicure.

Director James Di Martino hits the ground running with his debut feature; The Faceless Man is heavy in its themes and subject matter, but oozes wit and style. Somehow, this film about a cancer survivor facing (or not) her mortality head-on is not a miserable slog but a bright, vibrant work of punk excess. Its scares are as effective as its unexpected strain of black humour, embodied by the weird locals and a big dude named ‘Barry the C*nt’; a cross between A Nightmare on Elm Street and The League of Gentlemen. We could have done without the silly gangster subplot and the unnecessary Tarantino vibe it brings, but the balance between horror and comedy is otherwise well-judged.

The Faceless Man is a tremendous directorial debut, a lean, mean work of Ozploitation, bursting with energy and defiance.

THE NEW MUTANTS

CERT: 15 | RELEASE DATE: SEPTEMBER 4TH

Launched gloriously in 2000, Fox’s once-proud X-Men film franchise comes to a horribly ignominious end (now distributed by Disney) in The New Mutants, a film left twiddling its thumbs on the shelf for two years and only finally unleashed on a disinterested public under the cover of the early aftermath of a global pandemic.

The New Mutants really has no place on the big screen. At best, this is a workmanlike ‘Netflix original’ movie or a moderately budgeted extended pilot for another saga of super-powered kids finding their place in a world that doesn’t understand them. The first hour of The New Mutants is catastrophically un-cinematic. Dani Moonstar (Blu Hunt) is orphaned when her home is devastated by a tornado and her father killed by some unseen monstrous entity. She awakes to find herself in a sinister, middle-of-nowhere hospital complex run by Dr Cecilia Reyes (Alice Braga) and told that she is a mutant with undefined powers. She and four fellow super-powered teens (including Maisie Williams as a lycanthropic mutant with a decent Scottish accent) are kept under constant surveillance and they all assume they are to become the next generation of X-Men. Suffice to say, they’re not…

Director/co-writer Josh Boone clearly doesn’t know whether he wants to make a superhero film or a horror movie but the tropes of both genres don’t sit well together and the film is a tonal mess. It rouses itself from its torpor in the last half-hour with a few flashes of CGI and the arrival of the ferocious Demon Bear to add some comic book thrills, but by now the film has sunk under the weight of its own irrelevance and an ending suggesting the birth of a thrilling new comic book franchise is the definition of wishful thinking. Some good, well-intentioned performances aside, The New Mutants is a flat and pointless film we really need never concern ourselves with again.

#SHAKESPEARES SHITSTORM [Fantasia 2020]

CERT: TBC / RELEASE DATE: TBC

We all know Troma Films are the cinematic equivalent of Marmite. With #ShakespearesShitstorm, Lloyd Kaufman and the residents of Tromaville have broken all the boundaries they have leapt over before and created the perfect blend of the Bard and social commentary.

Using the template of Shakespeare’s The Tempest, we have a classic tale of revenge. Prospero (Kaufman) has been humiliated and pushed out of his pharmaceutical company for daring to reveal the fact that they merely exist to make money from the sick. His wife commits suicide, leaving their daughter Miranda (Kate McGarrigle) traumatised into blindness. Maddened into plotting revenge, he creates mutant animals (ahem… an Armadildo and a male chicken called Dicke…) rather than cure his offspring. To be fair, he finds her struggle amusing. However, his real plot is about to take shape. The victims are his former partners, the coke-fuelled Big Al (Abraham Sparrow) and Antoinette (Kaufman in drag), the latter being his sister, who are celebrating the launch of Safespacia, a pill that will keep its users safe from all the things in the real world that might upset them. Also coming under attack are social media ‘influencers’ and the growing army of offended-at-anything people who are ready to crash their party.

Although all the Troma tropes are here – whether it’s the copious nudity, irreverent musical numbers, or the titular shitstorm that takes place at the start of the film thanks to some whales that have been fed laxative – but when it comes to the satire, it doesn’t pull punches. It’s straight-talking, but doesn’t take too many cheap shots. While big pharma deserves all that’s thrown at it, the ‘woke’ are not presented as cheap caricatures. It’s not their principles that are spoofed – it’s the ones that only resent those opinions when streaming to social media or looking for approval. They are too busy looking to be offended that they overlook things that should offend them. Only by becoming literally diverse can Prospero be accepted by them.

Fans of Troma need not worry, though. This isn’t preaching to them, they are already ‘in the know’ when it comes to acceptance of differences and the like. If you’re looking for gross-out humour and over the top action (that car crash makes a welcome appearance, of course), you won’t be disappointed. There’s even a sequence that almost outdoes Brian Yuzna’s Society for body horror.

This is probably Troma’s pièce de résistance, a film in which all the elements come together to create one marvellous magnum opus. The satire, gross-out humour, use of Shakespeare and complete irreverence work perfectly. It’s even better than Derek Jarman’s version of the story. It’s never going to be for everyone’s taste, but that doesn’t matter. Lloyd speaks from his heart and it’s important to hear. Look beyond the poo and boobs to find a message that can save the world. Or at least Tromaville. Independent cinema needs people like Kaufman, and free speech needs independent cinema.

DARK STORIES [FrightFest 2020]

CERT: TBC / RELEASE DATE: TBC

Directors François Descraques and Guillaume Lubrano present a bilingual anthology featuring all manner of nasty things that’s just as fun as the classic portmanteau movies of the Amicus years.

A surprise delivery for a mum turns out to be a rather scary-looking doll. One that won’t let her leave, but she attempts to placate it and stop it harming her sleeping child with some creepy tales.

The stories vary from whimsical to downright terrifying and cover almost every horror trope from ghouls, ghosts, zombies, and more. Some of the highlights include paintings that eat people, a corpse waking in the morgue and literally dropping his guts before becoming a Darkman-type avenger, and a ‘jinn’ spirit keeping a woman awake at night.

You certainly won’t be able to tell that it’s all recycled from what was originally a French TV series. People with pediophobia (doll phobias) should probably avoid the wraparound and second story, but in general, the stories are of the kind horror fans love: atmospheric and with enough humour to make them re-watchable. One of the longer segments is also the most serious, but it’s packed with genuine scares and manages to get firmly under the skin. It’s always great to see Dominique Pinon on screen as well, and he’s a scream in the story of a farmer who believes aliens have made him the chosen one.

BLINDERS [FrightFest 2020]

CERT: TBC / RELEASE DATE: TBC

Tyler Savage’s follow-up to 2017’s Inheritance is a taut thriller that exploits our fears of technology as well as much more.

Andy (Vincent Van Horn) has moved to LA from Texas following a relationship breakup. While having a quite beer one night, he starts talking to a woman, Sam (Christine Ko), and the pair go back to her house. They take a ‘ride-share’ cab, and have a pleasant night. The following day, Andy bumps into the driver, Roger (Michael Lee Joplin), and they get chatting. Being new in town, Roger offers to take Andy for a drink and they strike up a friendship. It’s clear after a few days, though, that Roger is a needy friend and Andy stops replying to his messages. A big mistake, as he soon begins to make Andy’s life a misery.

We’ve seen this scenario many times before. Admittedly, it’s usually a spurred lover (Roger even laughs “play Misty for me” at one point) rather than besotted friend, but fortunately the script (by Savage and Dash Hawkins) takes us to a few unexpected places. It’s easy to get caught up in the frustration Andy feels and Van Horn plays the role of perplexed victim perfectly. Michael Lee Joplin is suitably creepy, unhinged, and unpredictably psychotic.

The climax takes things to an unforeseen level and makes up for the familiar beats along the way. You might not be so quick to strike up a conversation with that stranger after this.

AV: THE HUNT [FrightFest 2020]

CERT: TBC / RELEASE DATE: TBC

Ayse (Billur Melis Koç) has been cheating on her husband and wants to leave him. These things happen, and the consequences can be huge for all involved. Unfortunately, this is Turkey and her husband and her family don’t take this kind of thing likely. Not only have they murdered her lover, they are now chasing Ayse across country. Her sister wants nothing to do with her, and her brothers and father are in the posse who are determined to restore the family’s honour.

Director Emre Akay and co-writer Deniz Cuylan have given us a brutal look into the patriarchal view of the Turkish people (hopefully not shared by all). Billur Melis Koç is fantastic as the woman whose only ‘crime’ was to fall for another man while married. The evil and ferocity that she is faced with is appalling, even more so because we know things like this go on, even today. The stunning scenery is juxtaposed with the violence of the men, with a child even dragged along and made to join in with the lynch mob. Even the people she meets and attempts to get help from see her with distrust, as she’s a lone woman.

It’s a brave and affecting movie that, while it can’t be seen as enjoyable, is certainly impressive and hits more than a few nerves.

AQUASLASH [FrightFest 2020]

CERT: 15 / RELEASE DATE: OUT NOW

Aquaslash comes across as Porky’s meets Friday the 13th in a water park. Unfortunately, it doesn’t reach the highs of either of those franchises’ lowest points.

A group of college kids are at Wet Valley Water Park to celebrate and let off steam. There’s friction between the teens, with the ‘jock’ types already picking on people, and lots of sleeping around behind each other’s backs. Oh, and there was a murder at the park exactly 35 years ago.

Writer/director Renaud Gauthier (Discopath) tries hard to make this feel like it comes from the golden age of both the slasher and teen sex comedy genres, but nothing really hits as it should as it’s all too forced and obvious. If you were to take a drink every time a character says something about death (“Oh you’re killing me”, “You’re dead, asshole”, etc), you’d be Oliver Reed level pickled. Any subplots involving the cheating, bed-hopping park managers or the lusty teens are lost as we don’t care enough about them. Even a strand with an estranged father of one of the kids doesn’t provide anything other than a bit of slasher fodder.

On the plus side, the build up to the film’s big set piece is handled marvellously. It had to really, since this is all the film actually has, but there’s plenty of tension built and the gore effects are sickeningly impressive. It plays like an extended segment from a Final Destination film. Even at just over hour, the story is stretched thinner than the girls’ bikini straps.