DVD Review: Kiddy Grade / Cert: TBC / Director: Keiji Gotoh / Writers: Sonny Strait, Christopher Neel / Starring: Colleen Clinkenbeard, Aya Hirano, Ryoko Nagata, Monica Rial / Release Date: May 7^th

Sometime in the future, mankind has colonized the galaxy. Keeping the peace between the various planets is the Global Union, the strong arm of which is the Galactic Organisation of Trade and Tariffs (GOTT). This, in turn, has a secret shadow (ES) unit, staffed by superpowered operatives.

Eclair and Lumiere are lowly ‘C’ class agents who, between assignments, work as receptionists at GOTT HQ. One is strong and fast, while the other has the ability to telepathically manipulate all kinds of gizmos. Attired in cheeky barely-there outfits of stockings, frills and bows (and watched over by a silkily saturnine “auditor” named Armblast) they flit about the galaxy in a high-speed cruiser, bringing perps to book with inimitable panache. Lumiere causes confusion by popping bottles of champagne filled with nano-mist, while Eclair can turn her favourite scarlet lipstick into a terrifying whip. Occasionally, they run into fellow ES agents, including a gravelly-voiced transvestite and a chatterbox dressed as Red Riding Hood. And every now and then everyone stops for tea (Earl Grey from a teapot, with bone china cups and saucers).

This is space opera meets high camp, but counterbalancing the flights of fancy is the sense of a galaxy where money is the final arbiter. Despite the girls’ high spirits, the cases they become embroiled in are often knotty and unglamorous – the transport of prisoners and official documents, feuds within powerful financial groups, illegal trade in anti-gravity matter, intergalactic trade disputes, illegal distribution of terraforming tech, experiments in mass mind control.

As the episodes unfold, it becomes increasingly clear that GOTT itself is compromised, in the pocket of a ruling elite of pureblood Earthlings called the Nouvelesse. At the same time, through mysterious hints and flashbacks, we learn that Eclair and Lumiere are also not what they seem. They may look like hot teen girls at a cosplay convention, but their appearance belies their age and they are in fact centuries old. Should one body become damaged, they can be “encoded” into another and thus continue to live indefinitely. For Eclair, in particular, her long existence is taking its toll, as suppressed memories come back to haunt her and she finds herself in danger of repeating her past.

In Kiddy Grade‘s latter stages, quirky individual cases give way to an ongoing saga as Eclair and Lumiere buck the system and find themselves on a purge list. There are armies of clones, deaths, resurrections, disguises and more revelations that you can shake a china teapot at. Finally, it all ends, most satisfyingly, in a Star Wars-style battle with a planet-destroying space-station.

Technically, there is nothing that startlingly original about Kiddy Grade. The mecha consist of the conventional space craft, pimped up motorbikes and robots. The graphics, too, are serviceable rather than outstanding, although much love and attention has gone into catching the way Eclair’s short skirt flips up from her panties as she leaps into action. The fight sequences are brisk and efficient rather than inspired.

The real charm of the series lies in its balancing of whimsy and melancholy, and in the interplay of its main characters. Lumiere is winsome and fastidious, a lover of opera and fine wines. Eclair (wonderfully voiced by Colleen Clinkenbeard in the English version) is gauche, noisy and irrepressible. It’s fun to see the pair of them encountering the oddities of the various societies that make up the GU – the dandified, drawling yuppies of the Rosenfeld financial group, or the blush-makingly intrusive customs rigmarole that greets them upon arrival at the lush holiday world of Aure.

One or two of the individual episodes are wrapped up in a manner that’s a little too pat, and occasionally director Keiji Goto’s storytelling becomes so oblique and abbreviated as to be impenetrable. There are also, no doubt, layers of subtext which it’s hard for a Western viewer to appreciate. But overall Kiddy Grade is a superbly colourful tapestry of future worlds, full of fun, hip jokes and lovable characters. Once you start watching, you won’t even stop for tea.

Special Features: None

DVD Review: Absentia / Cert: 15 / Director: Mike Flanagan / Screenplay: Mike Flanagan / Starring: Katie Parker, Courtney Bell, Dave Levine, Morgan Peter Brown, Doug Jones / Release Date: July 9th

It is often the case that with so many films heading straight to DVD now, it is easy to tar them all with the same brush and lower your expectations accordingly when you come to view them. Absentia is one of those films that makes you happy that you had to wade through the shit to get to it. Already lauded on the festival circuit, this is an instant cult favourite if ever there was one.

The plot revolves around a pair of sisters, Callie (Katie Parker), who has had a somewhat troubled past involving drug addiction and never settling in one place, who comes to stay with heavily pregnant Tricia (Courtney Bell), who has settled down and married. Trouble is her husband, Daniel (Morgan Peter Brown) disappeared seven years ago, and Tricia is attempting to move on and going about the process of declaring Daniel legally dead – in absentia – before committing to her new love, local cop Detective Ryan Mallory (Dave Levine).

It’s not long before both sisters begin to have strange visions; flashes of a dishevelled and angry looking Daniel for Tricia and for Callie a mumbling and disturbed looking homeless man (the already emaciated Doug Jones) in the nearby underpass. He upsets her by muttering about getting away from ‘them’, keeps repeating ‘trade’ and that she must tell her son he’s alive.

The strange occurrences continue – passed off as stress induced hallucinations by Tricia’s therapist – but come to a head when Daniel suddenly appears outside the apartment, unkempt, malnourished and wearing the same clothes he went missing in. As they try to get to the bottom of what has happened, their lives will face even more trauma.

This really is a gem of a film, and benefits greatly from knowing as little as possible about it before seeing it. Writer/director Mike Flanagan (who part funded the film through Kickstarter) deserves heaps of praise for crafting a story that pulls you in by involving you with natural situations, camera work that feels like a fly on the wall documentary while still showing some nice flourishes, and a fantastical but believable mythology to tie the story together. It’s a film as much about the horrors of loss and moving on as the standard horror tropes, and everything about it – sound design, location, cinematography – works to its advantage and adds to the atmosphere.

Absentia is a film that gets under your skin, totally engrossing you, and while there are some jumps and stings, it does not rely on them for the scares. In fact, some of the visions are quite subtle and – like the characters – you begin to wonder if you really are seeing them. Indeed, even if you stripped away the more supernatural elements, the film would work as a haunting and harrowing drama. Imagine John Cassavetes directing horror.

In joke fans may get a kick out of some of the police officers’ names (Romero, Carpenter, Anderson, Del Toro) but this is more of a nod to those legends and in no way takes you out of the film – so much so that I only noticed it when researching the film on IMDB.

Highly recommended, especially for fans of intelligent, slow burn horror. Mike Flanagan is a name to watch out for in future if Absentia film is anything to go by.

Special Features: None

Blu-ray Review: Forbidden Zone / Cert: 18 / Director: Richard Elfman / Screenplay: Richard Elfman / Starring: Hervé Villechaize, Susan Tyrrell, Gisele Lindley, Marie-Pascale Elfman, Danny Elfman / Release Date: May 7th

A forgotten and (in the UK at least) overlooked cult film with a strong pedigree that may not be for everyone, but well worth a look for fans of the surreal and absurd. Want to see Tim Burton’s preferred composer as the Devil? Of course you do, but you will have to be prepared to enter the Sixth Dimension first.

The Hercules family own a house that has a door in the basement that for some inexplicable reason leads to the Sixth Dimension. Despite being warned against going near it, Frenchy (director Richard Elfman’s then wife Marie-Pascal Elfman) can’t resist, and is sucked into the bizarre world where frog butlers wait on topless princesses and the King and Queen (played by Hervé “zee plane, zee plane” Villechaize and his then beau, Susan (Cry Baby) Tyrrell) eat and have misaligned coupling atop a table with a human chandelier. King Fausto takes a shine to Frenchy much to the Queen’s annoyance, who tries her best to do away with her.

The rest of the family follow in an attempt to rescue Frenchy, only to experience even more bizarreness than you can shake a tail feather at.

Made as an attempt to document the on stage antics of performance art troupe The Mystic Knights of Oingo Boingo, who updated old jazz and ragtime tunes as part of their surreal stage show. Most of the cast are members of the group, including director Elfman’s little brother, Danny – you may know him as the composer of almost all of Tim Burton’s films, and The Simpsons theme amongst others – who not only fronted the group well into their metamorphosis into the more regular rock group Oingo Boingo but wrote their original material too. He almost steals the show here as a Cab Calloway inspired Devil. The talent this group of odd balls spawned doesn’t stop there, screenwriter Matthew Bright (on screen in two roles, one a transvestite, the other a boy who thinks he’s a chicken) went onto write and direct the Reese Witherspoon classic Freeway.

The film’s shoestring budget adds a lot to its charm. Sets are made from cardboard, hand painted by the crew – including Fantasy Island’s Villechaize – and animated sequences in the vein of Terry Gilliam and Max Fleischer make up where the plot’s more fantastical ideas could not be realised. An off the wall mix of musical and surreal comedy, channelling the spirit of Spike Milligan and Viv Stanshall, with a touch of The Monkee’s Head and Frank Zappa’s 200 Motels. I wouldn’t be surprised if it wasn’t an influence on The League of Gentlemen and The Mighty Boosh.

Forbidden Zone is presented here in a stunning HD transfer, both in its original black and white format, and for the first time in the UK, a colourised version. The extras on the disc provide plenty of background info for those unfamiliar with the Oingo Boingo legacy (most of the UK probably), but you don’t have to be a fan of the group to enjoy either the film or the supplements as they are just as enjoyable in their own right, and Elfman’s music is as memorable as ever.

If you like John Waters, David Lynch, Rocky Horror and to walk on the wild side, then you should give Forbidden Zone a shot, if you prefer your films a little more comprehensible then you might want to avoid.

Special Features: Commentary with Richard Elfman with writer/actor Matthew Bright, behind the scenes documentary with interviews (including Danny Elfman) and archive footage, scenes from The Hercules Family, a ‘lost’ Elfman film, outtakes, deleted scenes, Oingo Boingo video, theatrical trailer and a promo used to introduce a Japanese screening. The packaging comes with reversible sleeve, mini poster and booklet with essays on the film and rare stills.

DVD Review: Nazis at the Centre of the Earth / Cert: 15 / Director: Joseph J.Lawson / Screenplay: Paul Bales / Starring: Josh Allen, Max Bird-Ridnell, Christopher Karl Johnson, Jake Busey / Release date: July 30th 

The kings of the knock off film, The Asylum have never let us down. With the buzz around the imminent release Iron Sky, they leave their mutant sharks at home and head straight for that pinnacle of bad taste, the Nazis.

It’s not often you’ll hear this when it comes to this type of film, but I really feel there should be caution when giving out the synopsis. While it may not have Cabin in the Woods level plot twists, there is a part that has a jaw dropping, “I can’t believe they did that” aspect to it. To reveal that would take away a very enjoyable moment for the viewer.

What I can tell you is the basic premise, as nonsensical as it is. A pair of Antarctic researchers (Adam Burch and Dominique Swain) stumble upon something metal while drilling in the snow. (Quite why no one has found it before is a shock since it seems to be buried no less than an inch, but that’s just nit picking). They are more shocked that it carries the swastika. This is not a lucky discovery, however, since they are suddenly abducted by Nazi storm troopers in creepy looking gas masks. Mark (Burch) is taken to an operating theatre and relieved of his face. Paige (Swain) fares a little better by showing off her medical knowledge.

A team, led by Jake Busey, head out to find the pair. Coming across a large hole in the ice, they venture down – into a seemingly endless pit. Finding an underground civilization, they are soon confronted by the Nazi army, led by the notorious Dr Josef Mengele (Christopher Karl Johnson), who has kept himself alive by replacing 60% of his endoskeleton. Using the living flesh of a steady stream of victims, he has kept his army alive, but not as successfully as hoped. Busey’s band of doctors and experts are just what this Third Reich need.

Dispatching the only Jewish member of the team almost immediately – via a fancy vaporising ray gun no less – the rest are reluctantly put to work by Mengele, or used for his macabre transplants.

The experiments turn to stem cells and it turns out one of the team is pregnant, so Busey – who has been working for the ‘other side’ all along comes up with a particularly horrid idea. Let’s just say he has voided the warranty on that Dyson.

The first two thirds of the film are mostly exposition, but certainly not without some very gruesome events amongst the clunky dialogue – some of which is in German, a brave decision considering these films are usually aimed at the undiscerning masses that are not used to reading subtitles. Once we get into the final third however, it’s mind boggling audacity has to be admired.

Johnson is formidable as Mengele, rising above the Dr Everett Scott accent, although the same cannot be said for the rest of the cast who struggle through as best they can, but for the most part are unconvincing; some British accents at the end are straight from the Dick Van Dyke school of acting. The effects are about par for The Asylum, CGI being overused, and looking no better than a PS2 game at times. When practical effects are used (as in the ‘face off’ moments) it is squishy and nasty, just as it should be.

It is hard to say the film is good, because there are so many flaws, and let’s face it, it’s made by The Asylum, but damn, it is enjoyable, so it’s hard not to like it, which may not be apparent in the overall rating I give it. It’s certainly worth a viewing when it hits the screens over here, grab some beers, rally some mates and have a laugh.

Special Features: None

DVD Review: Demons 1 & 2 / Cert: 18 / Director: Dario Argento, Lamberto Bava / Screenplay: Dario Argento, Lamberto Bava / Starring: Urbano Barberini, Natasha Hovey, Karl Zinny, David Knight, Nancy Brilli, Coralina Cataldi-Tassoni / Release Date: Out Now

The use of Dario Argento’s name above the titles of Demons 1 & 2 could be considered something of a misnomer, as they bare no relation whatsoever to other works by the master of Italian suspense. This infamous duo of schlock, though gory enough to rival Argento at his best, bares none of the crispness which, though perhaps not making his work palatable, at least leant it an air of sophistication. Demons 1 & 2 on the other hand have all the subtlety of a car-crash. Forget the fact they’re directed by Lamberto Bava, son of the legendary Mario, because it’s obvious from these films that cinematic panache didn’t run in the family.

Demons 1 focuses on the attendees of a horror film screening at a recently revamped Berlin movie theatre, and what befalls them during the ensuing nightmare evening. A display in the theatre’s foyer has an ancient pagan mask as its centrepiece, which a girl called Rosemary (Geretta Geretta) tries on, scratching herself in the process. The film being screened in the theatre charts the story of some kids who find a mask that transforms those who wear it into flesh eating demons, the same mask that now sits in the theatre’s front-of-house – which Rosemary and the other guests are about to discover to their cost.

Demons 2, starring Argento’s daughter Asia, continues the story some time later as the residents of a Berlin apartment block unwittingly unleash an ancient demon from a TV set which is playing a horror film. As the majority of the building’s inhabitants are transformed into gut-munching, bone-crunching demons, those uninfected have to battle for their lives during the customary apocalyptic climax.

The best way to view these films is back to back, the main interest lying in their distinctive similarities, with Demons 2 a virtual remake of Demons 1 save for setting and characters. The narrative thread of releasing the demons through the medium of film and television is the only really interesting touch, despite this theme having been explored before, and to better effect, in such classics as Videodrome and Poltergeist. Fractionally superior, Demons 1 contains the best death scene and is also the more atmospheric, being set within the claustrophobic interior of a darkened movie theatre.

Unfortunately even a host of unusually good extras including a comic book called Demons 3 (a graphic visualisation of a third grisly instalment), can’t save the films from what they ultimately are – prime examples of an era when gore won out over any attempt at style or substance. As a result they should be watched as quickly as possible, then just as speedily forgotten.

Demons:

Demons 2:

DVD Review: Alyce / Cert: 18 / Director: Jay Lee / Screenplay: Jay Lee / Starring: Jade Dornfield, Tamara Feldman, James Duval,  / Release Date: April 30^th

Lewis Carroll’s Alice in Wonderland story has been through the wringer lately. From Tim Burton’s billion dollar grossing abomination to the baffling Malice in Wonderland, even through some of Zack Snyder’s Sucker Punch. Alyce, directed by Jay Lee is the latest attempt to contemporise the classic tale and isn’t quite as successful at what it sets out to do as it should be.

Alyce (Jade Dornfield) is a corporate wage slave with a troubled past who one night descends into drugs and alcohol with her recently dumped best friend Carroll (Tamara Feldman). They are up on the roof of her apartment building literally high as a kite and Alyce accidentally pushes Carroll off the edge. Carroll is mortally wounded but survives; Alyce consumed by guilt descends into a world of drugs, paranoia and eventually murder. All the while she is surrounded by weird urban versions of the characters that appear in the Lewis Carroll story.

Alyce may be a low budget independent film but it looks great, it has kind of a rough sheen to it whilst at the same time evoking the films of Michael Mann. The night time landscape presented is dark and haunting with danger lurking round every corner. The acting is also superb; Jade Dornfield plays the part well coming across as sexy, troubled, vulnerable and psychotic depending on where you are in the story. Dornfield is supported by some great character performances, particularly Eddie Rouse as a Mad Hatter type figure represented as a drug dealer. Also unusual for this type of film is that the dialogue in the script is top notch, there are some cracking monologue’s and brilliant lines that make you believe these are living breathing people trapped in a nightmare.

This film has everything going for it but what holds it back from greatness is the fact that Alyce has almost nothing to say and nowhere to go past the intriguing set up. Early on I thought that this was going to wind up being somehow very clever with something to say about our modern society. Alyce works in a cubicle and her boss is jealous that she is noticed more than her, also in one scene Alyce masturbates to images of the conflict in the Middle East. Interesting scenes loaded with meaning, but what is that meaning?

Any interesting commentary is tossed aside in favour of a last thirty minutes which gets graphic and contains possibly the longest dismemberment scene for a long while. If you like your films violent then you will not be disappointed as Alyce takes revenge and tumbles further down the rabbit hole. The film is very much a case of a missed opportunity but is an enjoyable wallow in the strange nonetheless.

Special Features: None

DVD Review: Osombie / Cert: 15 / Director: John Lyde / Screenplay: Kurt Hale / Starring: Corey Sevier, Eve Mauro, Jasen Wade, Danielle Chuchran, William Rubio / Release Date: May 14^th

Osama Bin Laden rises from the dead as a flesh-eating ghoul and threatens the free world with a zombie apocalypse. You’ve got to be kidding, right? Actually no, that’s the premise of Osombie (tag line ‘Axis of the Evil Dead’) the latest of a raft of recent zombie movies (Juan of the Dead, Bong of the Dead) released to DVD, and, political misgivings aside, Osombie – as zombie movies go – is really rather good.

Dusty, a yoga instructor from Colorado, is on a desperate rescue mission in the middle east to save her brother Derek, a conspiracy theorist (and ex-fireman who survived the 9/11 attacks) who is convinced Osama Bin Laden is still alive, despite having been buried at sea. In Afghanistan, Dusty falls in with a team of NATO special forces on a secret assignment, and it turns out Derek is not so crazy at all. Infected by a biological weapon agent that turns its victims into the living dead, Osama has returned from his watery grave to create a secret army of zombie insurgents. When the group crashes headlong into the growing zombie apocalypse, Dusty and the troops must find and destroy the root of the zombie insurgency before it infests the rest of the world. They must kill Bin Laden again.

Scriptwriter Kurt Hale plays the scenario straight, without any trace of political satire or irony, making Osombie gung-ho, jingoistic nonsense all the way. But skilful direction by John Lyde raises Osombie way above the usual standard of cheap exploitation, at times giving bigger budget efforts like The Hurt Locker and The Green Zone a run for their money. Cinematographer Airk Thaughbaer effortlessly makes Utah (where Osombie was filmed) look like the Afghan desert, and adopts some of the stylistic devices of Kathryn Bigelow’s Oscar winner during the combat sequences. Thaughbaer also edited the film, and, with the exception of one or two dialogue-heavy scenes, Osombie is fast-paced action for all of its ninety minutes. The performances are excellent too – including by Corey Sevier, a Colin Farrell look-alike who spends much of the film shirtless and ripped. Danielle Chuchran, as Tomboy, plays the deadliest woman with a sword since Uma Thurman in Kill Bill. Heads roll, so do arms and legs and all other manner of body parts, courtesy of visual effects artist Clark Edmunds, who also provides CGI planes and helicopters that many a high budget Hollywood production would die for.

Hale’s screenplay is also pretty good. We actually care about the characters (helped by the actors who keep it real throughout). The death scenes of the individual marines (a staple in any zombie or war movie!) are surprisingly poignant. There are also some great action set pieces. To be fair, Hale does make an effort not to offend the Muslim faith in the film. The zombie insurgents are clearly meant to represent the Taliban and not the Afghan people or Muslims in general. Still, it’s hard not to see its zombie virus threating to ‘infest’ the rest of the world as representing the fear of the spread of Islam. Bin Laden himself doesn’t actually feature that much in the film, but remains an elusive bogeyman, much as he did in real life. As one reviewer commented: ‘Osombie fulfils a fantasy for many of us – killing m*therf**ing Bin Laden again’. Therein, I suspect, lies the appeal of Osombie.

Osombie, then, probably won’t do much to further diplomatic relations between the Muslim world and the West, but thanks to its non-stop carnage and some great military combat, zombie fans – and readers of Andy McNab – will love it.

Special Features: None

DVD Review: War of the Dead / Cert: 15 / Director: Marko Makilaakso / Screenplay: Marko Makilaakso / Starring: Andrew Tiernan, Mikko Leppilampi, Samuel Vauramo / Release Date: May 28^th

The idea of using Nazi zombies as a central plot point is nothing new and the next offering in this sub-genre is War of the Dead which sits somewhere between Dog Soldiers, Dead Snow and Assault on Precinct 13.

When a combined force of Allied and Finnish soldiers attempt to infiltrate a German bunker, they realise that they have under-estimated the resistance that they will face. Losing a large number of their task force leaves the surviving members with the daunting duty of completing the mission by themselves, but as their numbers continue to dwindle they find that their enemy is not prepared to just lie down and die. It turns out that the bunker they are tasked with destroying was a home for SS experiments on captured Russian soldiers to try and create “Anti-Death”. Ergo, zombies. The enemies that our protagonists have already dispatched come back stronger and more determined to stop them than ever.

What is interesting here is that because the film is set in World War II, there is no existing knowledge of zombie lore and so the soldiers can’t believe what they are up against and struggle to work out how to kill the foes that they encounter. There are no gags or in-jokes to be had here, this is serious straight up horror, mixing in some great little set-pieces that are impressive considering the reported budget of €1million, making this the most expensive film ever made in Lithuania.

However, because of the lack of budget, the script seems bare, with very little in the way of character development and the zombies themselves are a blur, rushing around and jumping through windows like circus trapeze artists. In some action scenes it is difficult to know exactly what is going on. Even the main mission of infiltrating the bunker seems forgotten at times with some set-pieces side-tracking the group and chains of command shifting from one moment to the next. It says a lot when you pat yourself on the back for recognising the guy out of The Bill (Mark Wingett, if you’re interested), because most of the rest of the cast are forgettable.

But, because the director has decided to keep this strictly serious with no sense of parody – which would have been so easy to rely on – and the action does go against the budget, this tale of Nazi experimentation gone awry, with zombies to boot, is better than a lot of the straight to DVD horror dross out there.

Give it a whirl.

Special Features: Making Of, Trailer

DVD Review: Marvel Complete Animation Collection / Director: Various / Screenplay: Various / Release Date: Out Now

A hefty collection of Marvel comics’ recent animation movies, from Ultimate Avengers through to Planet Hulk, the Complete Animation Collection is a mixed bag at times – but thankfully that bag holds its share of (infinity) gems.

Unlike the DC animated movies, Marvel’s cartoon features are less concerned with adapting specific story arcs and tend to be more a series of standalone or origin tales instead. More accessible to new fans than DC’s Under The Red Hood or Batman/Superman: Public Enemies, they will serve as a nice stopgap in-between live action Marvel features or as further introduction to newer fans. They’re also more child friendly than DC’s oddly adult stories, making this one a collection for all ages – sometimes, in the case of Next Avengers, to its detriment. While Marvel are owning the multiplexes, it seems that DC have the straight to DVD animation market covered. On the basis of this collection, one could learn a lot from the other.

The Ultimate Avengers and Rise of the Black Panther whet the appetite for the Avengers movie. The first film is an adaptation of Mark Millar’s Ultimates books, shorn of the more questionable material. The Hulk battle is relatively short, with the main threat being a Nazi alien menace. The sequel adds the Black Panther to the roster and has the Chitauri (sound familiar?) invading Wakanda. Both films are action packed and enjoyable but humourless; a trait which runs through the other seven films.   

Bar poor Captain America, each of the Avengers gets his individual chance to shine, although it’s only the Hulk who manages to do so with any success. The forgettable Thor – Tales of Asgard lacks the humour that made the live-action movie such a joy, and its adventures of a young Thor and Loki feel a little too much like Saturday morning TV. You certainly won’t find Loki calling anyone a “mewling quim” here. The God of thunder and his sibling nemesis fare better in Hulk vs Thor, a surprisingly violent tale which does exactly what it says on the tin (Hulk vs Wolverine is more convoluted but funnier and even bloodier). The Hulk is practically omnipresent in this box set, with the grumpy green giant appearing in a total of five features (or six, if you count Hulk vs as two films). His head-pulverising fight with Wolverine is a box set highlight. He returns in Planet Hulk, ejected from the planet Earth and shot into space by Iron Man, Doctor Strange and (presumably, although his face is hidden in shadows and he never speaks) Mister Fantastic. It’s Ben Hur with aliens and the Hulk. Ben Hulk, if you will. Hulk talk too much for our liking, although it’s a lot of fun. Good as the Hulk animations are, once you’ve seen him beating up Thor for (semi) real on the big screen, it’s hard to go back.

In the most disappointing tale, Tony Stark travels to China for The Invincible Iron Man. Here is a different Stark to the man we’ve become accustomed to seeing in Marvel movies – the voice acting is terrible, Stark too humourless and his beard distracting. It’s actually another origin tale for Iron Man – and a completely different one to that as established in Jon Favreau’s 2008 piece. It’s essentially an alternate timeline in which Tony Stark doesn’t have any personality and never bothers putting his suit on.

Weakest of the lot is Next Avengers, which mistakenly assumes that we should care about The Avengers’ children and their antics. Like Tales Of Asgard, it belongs on children’s TV. The story is boring, the characters annoying and you’ll spend the whole film waiting for the real Avengers to show up to pull their brats in line.

Like an episode of House crossed with Batman Begins, Doctor Strange is a nice change of pace. The story doesn’t feel particularly original, but it’s still nice to see one of the more under-represented characters get his turn in the spotlight. It’s the best film in the set and proves that a Doctor Strange movie could work, given the right treatment.

Each of the films has its own individual style, suited to the characters portrayed. Those starring Thor and Asgard tend to have a more ethereal feel, while the adult ones alternate between detailed (the Ultimate Avengers movies attempt to mimic Bryan Hitch’s art) and stylised animé. While none of the animation is terrible, it is patchy in places and at its worst in The Invincible Iron Man.

£35 is a reasonable amount for an eight-film box set, but it still feels a little pricey considering how old some of the films are (Ultimate Avengers was first released in 2006). Die-hard fans will probably already own a few of them, and the less hardcore will be reluctant to spend so much on a collection of cartoons; especially given the more obscure characters and stories featured here. With each of the dodgier films standing out more than the last, that price tag begins to seem all the heftier. Five pounds should be knocked off the price tag for Next Avengers alone. Wait for the price to go down and then throw the Next Avengers and Invincible Iron Man DVDs away.

With the current batch of Marvel movies beginning to look increasingly definitive, it’s hard to see why one should bother with the majority of this substandard set. Would that Marvel imbued it with the same care they have their live-action releases, this would truly be a collection worth owning.