Review Category: DVD/Blu Ray

Review: Bereavement / Cert: 18 / Director: Stevan Mena / Screenplay: Steven Mena / Starring: Alexandra Daddario, Spencer List, Brett Rickaby, Michael Biehn / Release Date: October 1st

Stranger danger! Strangers don’t get much more dangerous than serial killer Graham Sutter, who kidnaps a young boy with a mind to styling the child into his protégée. What prevents this from feeling too much like an episode of Criminal Minds is the fact that Bereavement is a prequel to the critically acclaimed Malevolence.

Malevolence was an intelligent, taut slasher movie that was fun but unworthy of the Halloween comparisons it frequently received. Bereavement heads to the past to document how Malevolence’s killer came into being. We see Martin Bristol as an exceptionally stupid child, kidnapped by Sutter after the psychopath offers him a bicycle. Sutter is your archetypal maniac, even going so far as to use a burlap sack to ferry his captive about. He lives in a dilapidated country house with an enormous basement and a walk-in refrigerator that does a great job of preserving one’s leftovers (not last week’s takeaway, either).

Little Martin isn’t the only captive in Sutter’s basement – there’s a veritable conga line of distressed damsels just waiting to be chained up against his wall, one after the other. One thing his basement is lacking is a roll of duct tape – there’s a lot of very loud shrieking and screaming in Bereavement, so much so that it would even put The Hills Have Eyes’ Brenda to shame.

But as the title would suggest, its themes go beyond kidnapping and serial murder – the story focuses as much on the plight of Allison, a recently orphaned teenager sent to live with uptight uncle Michael Biehn. While it sounds like a laugh, living with the father of John Connor, this is Biehn in a more serious, dour mood than he was in Terminator or Aliens. Although he has learned some better (less scary) parenting skills than he displayed in Cherry Falls. His protectiveness proves warranted, anyway – it’s not long before Allison falls before Sutter’s sinister eye.

Bereavement is very worthy and atmospheric, but its story leaves something to be desired. A little gore aside, it’s nothing that horror fans won’t have seen elsewhere. Unless you’re going in forearmed with the knowledge (and you will be now) you might not even realise it’s a prequel. The more interesting aspects manage to make Bereavement salvageable. All of the actors are good – even young Spencer List, playing confused captive Martin. Alexandra Daddario is sympathetic as Allison – a fine foil to Sutter’s scary psychopath. Michael Biehn is reliably good, if underused. Despite its low budget, the film looks great. The dingy basement and sparse American farmlands rack up the atmosphere and tension enough that the lacklustre story doesn’t matter quite so much.

Bereavement is a well-made but grim and humourless addition to the already inflated psycho thriller subgenre. Alas, not even the mighty Michael Biehn can save it from dull forgetability.

Special Features: None

Review: The Walking Dead – Season 2 / Cert: 18 / Director: Ernerst R. Dickerson, Bill Gierhart, Guy Ferland / Screenplay: Charlie Adlard, Frank Darabont, Robert Kirkman / Starring: Andrew Lincoln, Sarah Wayne Callies, Laurie Holden, Steven Yeun, Chandler Riggs, Norman Reedus, IronE Singleton, Melissa McBride, Lauren Cohan / Release Date: August 27th

The dead aren’t the only ones walking in the second series of AMC’s hit comic book adaptation: gone is prestigious showrunner Frank Darabont, disappeared amidst a blaze of behind the scenes drama and difficulty. Could The Walking Dead be salvaged, or is the show pretty much dead already? Despite a few glaring flaws and duff episodes, this second series is where The Walking Dead hits its stride.

Although, if its gruff leading men are anything to go by, that stride is more of a swagger. Everything seems more assured – not the least Andrew Lincoln’s Rick Grimes and best buddy Shane, excellently played by Jon Bernthal. Where Sheriff Grimes had at first felt like a soppy Jack Shepherd substitute, here he seems stronger and more confident. This is where he becomes the leader of the comic books. Yet at times, it seems more like Shane’s show. Where Rick gets the heroic, noble character arc, Shane spends more time in the spotlight. His unravelling into unpredictable psychopathy is a sight to behold. But as dark as Shane’s actions become, Bernthal’s occasionally heartbreaking performance keeps him just on the right side of sympathetic. However, watchable as Rick and Shane are, they’re both blown out of the water by a character who isn’t even in the comic books: Norman Reedus’s cuddly Hillbilly Daryl Dixon.

Initially a crude My Name Is Earl style hick, the second series transforms Daryl into the show’s most likeable presence. His mission to find Carol’s missing daughter is just the sweetest thing, as is his growing friendship with Carol herself. It’s disappointing that Michael Rooker hasn’t returned yet, but his absence gives Daryl room to grow as a character. I would be perfectly fine with a spin-off show dedicated to Daryl Dixon alone.

There’s more of everything this time around – more zombies, more action, more gore and more bickering. New characters are introduced as old ones are bumped off. It gets flabby towards the halfway mark, but never truly boring. A fun or original zombie kill is always near, and when the zombies do arrive en masse, it’s in a manner worthy of George A. Romero himself. There’s at least one cool zombie moment per episode, and much less of the wandering around in circles which dogged series one. This comes at the expense of characters such as T-Dog, who gets about twelve lines of dialogue to last him for the whole thirteen episodes.

Despite its behind the scenes turmoil and some noticeable flaws, The Walking Dead: Season 2 lives up to the potential that its predecessor somehow failed to harness. And judging by the nifty set of teasers upon which the series ends, it’s about to get even better.

Special Features: None

Review: KILL ZOMBIE! / Cert: TBC / Director: Martijn Smits, Erwin van den Eshof / Screenplay: Tijs van Marle / Starring: Uriah Arnhem, Wouter Braaf, Noel Deelen, Jan Doense, Yahya Gaier / Release Date: September 12th

You’d be forgiven for thinking – or possibly even screaming – ‘Oh God not again’ at the prospect of another micro-budget zombie horror; this reviewer certainly had good cause to roll his eyes and lower his expectations. But the good news is that Kill Zombie! – in which a Russian satellite crashes into an office tower block in Amsterdam leaking green ooze which turns people into ravenous flesh eaters – takes its lead from Shaun of the Dead rather than the po-faced string of cash-in nasties which followed (and continue to follow) in its wake. Kill Zombie! is big, loud, non-stop nonsense full of over-the-top unsubtle European slapstick style humour and a commendable amount of extremely-creative gore and eye-opening splatter FX.

Office slacker Nolan (Arnhem) gets sacked from his job for spending too long pining for the girl of his dreams. A visit to his lay-about brother Joris (Deelan) leads to an ugly encounter with two hopeless thugs and the four of them end up in jail. The following morning they emerge from custody in the company of foxy cop Kim (Ravelli) to find that all Hell has broken lose, the city’s in flames and its population have become zombies which have to be… well, killed. And killed they are in some spectacularly inventive and gruesome methods. Heads explode, electric fans slice and dice, bodies are routinely dismembered and devoured (with the zombies eventually munching on each other). The story devolves into familiar we-must-rescue-my-girlfriend territory – but even this cliché gets turned on its head as Nolan finds his heart may belong elsewhere and his girlfriend might not actually be his ideal woman after all.

But amidst all the running and shooting and general zombie pandemonium there’s time for some comedy too. Much of it might be a bit too rich and unsubtle for more sophisticated palettes – and irritatingly highlighted right across the film by a silly ‘this is comedy, folks’ quirky musical score – and inept homeboys Aziz (Yahya Gaier) and Jeffrey (Sergio Hasselbaink) are decent value with their broad banter and comic buffoonery and there’s surely warped genius at work somewhere when our heroes take refuge on a playground climbing frame as zombies swarm all around them.

Across its brief running time (around eighty minutes) Kill Zombie! manages to put flesh on the bones of its main characters (even as it’s being stripped off the flesh of everyone else) and there are a couple of character deaths which are genuinely emotional and when our survivors flee the carnage of the city for the safety of a military quarantine zone, they find a delicious, if entirely illogical, twist in the tale which may well have you rolling in the aisles.

Kill Zombie! is delightfully daffy fun which might lean a bit too heavily towards the comedy for serious gore hounds but its refreshing change of style and pace manage to breathe new life into a now dangerously oversubscribed genre.

Special Features: None

Kill Zombie! will have its UK premiere at London’s Frightfest on August 25^th before being released on DVD in September.

Review: The Monk / Cert: 15 / Director: Dominik Moll / Screenplay: Dominik Moll, Anne-Louise Trividic / Starring: Vincent Cassel, Deborah Francois, Josephine Japy, Sergi Lopez / Release Date: August 20th

Based on Matthew Gregory Lewis’ swiftly written and now largely forgotten 18^th century Gothic novel, Dominik Moll’s sumptuous, atmospheric subtitled adaptation of The Monk is likely to be too stately and mannered for popular modern tastes. Its themes of satanic seduction, religious contradiction, magic and repentance may evoke vague memories of The Exorcist and The Devils with a bit of In the Name of the Rose thrown in for good measure but The Monk is something altogether subtler and in many ways much more elegant.

Vincent Cassel plays respected but troubled Capucin monk Ambrosio who, whilst dispensing finely worded judgment on the human sins of others, is himself deeply troubled by his own sexual desires and feverish dreams. Valerio, apparently hideously scarred by the fire which killed his family years earlier, his features hidden behind a creepy wooden mask, arrives at Ambrosio’s monastery in Madrid seeking solitude. But Valerio is so much more than just a victim; amongst other secrets it seems that Valerio is also an emissary of Satan sent to test Ambrosio’s mettle and to lure him into the darkness of his own soul.

We’re not exactly in classic horror movie territory here and indeed it’s The Monk’s intention to intrigue and unsettle rather than terrify its audience. The film crawls with psychological tension and throws in the odd shimmering apparition and creeping insect for a few more traditional thrills but the film’s more concerned with exploring religious hypocrisy and single-minded purposefulness than grossing out its audience. But then that’s not the story The Monk is here to tell. Director and co-writer Moll has stripped away many of the subplots and divergences of the novel, concentrating on depicting Ambrosio’s inevitable fall from grace and his ultimate desperate Faustian attempt to save himself from himself. Ambrosio’s fate is sealed almost from the start of the film; abandoned at the monastery as a new born baby he’s pecked by crows, has an ominous birthmark – and the first time we see him as an adult he’s listening to confessions of the shocking sexual misdeeds of one of his penitents. There’s a darkness in and around Ambrosio which sets him up as an easy target for satanic seduction.

The Monk treads familiar ground – stories of ‘men of the cloth’ succumbing to the sins of the flesh have been done before and, arguably, done better – but it’s Moll’s vision which makes The Monk more striking than it might otherwise have been. It’s beautifully filmed – this is genuinely Gothic stuff with Moll contrasting bright, sunny Spanish exteriors with the gloomy, oppressive atmosphere of the monastery itself – and with a standout, solid performance from Cassell as Ambrosio. But there’s a definite sense of deja vu in its Good vs. Evil storyline and its realization. Even if there’s really nothing new going on here, what we’ve got is evocative and atmospheric enough to make The Monk a worthwhile and hauntingly memorable effort.

Special Features: None

Review: Puppet Master / Cert: 18 / Director: David Schmoeller / Screenplay: Charles Band, Kenneth J. Hall / Starring: Paul Le Mat, William Hickey, Irene Miracle / Release Date: August 20th

Notching up ten sequels and counting, Puppet Master is horror producer Charles Band’s most enduring franchise, and it all started in 1989 with this straight-to-video movie.

Introduced with lilting, fairground-style music by Richard Band, brother of the aforementioned Charles, the story kicks off in a plush hotel on the California coastline in 1939, where we meet the white-haired, Geppetto-like Andre Toulon (Hickey), an ace puppeteer who has mastered a form of ancient Egyptian magic that enables him to breathe life into his creations. Anxious lest these dangerous little critters fall into the wrong hands, he’s in hiding from the Nazis and eats lead when they finally track him down, taking his secrets with him.

Cut to the present day (well, the late ’80s) and a motley group of psychics assemble at the same hotel to pay their respects to one of their number who has also, as it happens, committed suicide. But as they settle down for the night, it becomes clear that Toulon’s puppets are on the loose, causing mayhem, and the question is – who, if anyone, is controlling them?

Band is frank enough to admit in an accompanying interview that this was one of those cases where the title came first, the creature design second and only then was a script cobbled together. The result is a movie whose strongest suit isn’t its storyline. That said, the dialogue is sprightly and the characters are entertaining, especially psychic couple Frank (Roe) and Carlissa (O’Reilly,) whose investigations have a habit of degenerating into kinky sex games. Considering it was intended for the grubby medium of VHS, it’s a handsome film too, thanks to some opulent sets and the glowing cinematography of Sergio Salvati – both of which can now be fully appreciated in this sparkling 16:9 remaster from the original print.

But really, it’s all about the puppets, and these (as created by Dave Allen, who went on to direct Puppet Master II) are undoubtedly impressive, creepy but at the same time endearing. Pinhead – his tiny noodle dwarfed by big shoulders and a pair of chunky mitts – is especially chill-inducing, as is a doll that spews leeches from its mouth. You might expect a high definition transfer to reveal shortcomings in the animation, but not so – the combination of stop-motion and physical puppetry still looks good even to eyes jaded by CGI. (The same, alas, cannot be said of leading man Paul Le Mat’s Peter Stringfellow-style blow back barnet.) Yes, the whole thing’s a little lightweight and nonsensical, but it’s also bright, charming and fun, and a welcome return for the first instalment of a much-loved franchise.

Special Features: Audio Commentary with Justin Kerswell, New DTS soundtrack, Restored HD transfer, Original LCPM soundtrack, Commentary by Charles Band, ‘No Strings  Attached’ original making of featurette, HD trailer, Full Moon trailer park, Reversible Sleeve with original artwork.

DVD Review: Ghost Stories – Classic adaptations from the BBC – Volumes 1 and 2 / Director(s): Jonathan Miller, Andy de Emmony, Lawrence Gordon Clark / Starring: Michael Hordern, John Hurt, Robert Hardy, Clive Swift, Peter Vaughan / Release date: 20th August

Some of you might recall a time when the BBC gave us I, Claudius or the definitive dramatization of Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy. You might also remember more costume dramas than you can wave a BAFTA at, or Tom Baker wearing a scarf in some popular children’s sci-fi programme or another. This was, dear reader, the ‘Golden Age of BBC Drama’; a time when the Beeb could do no wrong; a time when quality just fell out of Auntie’s drama department. And of course, there were those strange BBC traditions, like A Ghost Story for Christmas, when the BBC would deliver a chilling yuletide present for the grown-ups to watch while wrapping the presents. If you were lucky, you might have even got to watch them yourselves. But nostalgia and history should never be confused. Were these annual supernatural outings really as good as we remember? Well the BFI is bringing them all out on DVD so it looks like we’re going to find out.

Although the whole series will be available before the year is out (all bar one of which were based on the stories of M. R. James) the first releases are Whistle and I Will Come to You (both the 1968 and 2010 versions on one disc) and The Stalls of Barchester (1971) together with A Warning to the Curious (1972). The transfers are, as with all BFI releases, top quality and both discs come with extras ranging from interviews with those involved to a couple of Christopher Lee’s ‘talking head’ style readings of M. R. James broadcast by the BBC in 2000 on the second disc.

The first disc is actually a bit of a misnomer as A Ghost Story for Christmas actually only ran from 1971 to 1978 (with a revival in 2005 and 2006). However, Jonathan Miller’s 1968 adaptation of Whistle and I Will Come to You (made for the BBC‘s Omnibus series) was both the catalyst as well as the blueprint for the series that followed so its inclusion is both expected and welcome. Widely regarded as a classic of the genre, this fairly straight telling of James’s 1904 short story might come as a bit of a surprise to a modern audience. In a sense, it couldn’t be more low-key with a small cast and minimal dialogue. With little in the way of visual trickery it would be tempting to describe this black and white production as spooky rather than scary but actually that wouldn’t do it justice. The wide open spaces of the British coastline have never seemed so empty and terrifying. If you’re wondering quite how these open spaces might be frightening then think of the hotel in The Shining (1980) and remember the BBC pulled the trick off first. As Michael Hordern’s dogmatically rational protagonist has his beliefs questioned to breaking point, there is real horror here; Hordern’s portrayal of a man at his wit’s end in the denouement is a genuinely unsettling experience. The limited special effects do look a little creaky today but overall this production stands the test of time as a lesson in subtlety to modern film-makers.

Again, the 2010 re-make is not strictly ‘canon’ but its inclusion is not unexpected. However, it does seem a little more out of place. Although we have an engaging performance from John Hurt in particularly world-weary form, along with some extremely atmospheric cinematography, the whole thing doesn’t work anything like as well as it should. The major problem is the fact that it veers significantly from the original story. Although there is nothing wrong with that in principle, writer Neil Cross seems to have wanted to tell an entirely different tale. You can almost hear him arguing with the BBC about the great story he’s got only to be told that he’s doing Whistle and I’ll Come to You and that’s that. The result is a story about an ageing academic leaving his dementia-suffering wife in a nursing home while he visits their old haunts by the sea, shoehorned into James’ original. Unfortunately, it doesn’t quite fit and we’re left with something that doesn’t actually make a great deal of sense. Even the found whistle of the original story is replaced by a ring in a move that even manages to make the title nonsensical. This is actually a great shame as Cross’ story of the guilt-ridden protagonist haunted in a desolate seaside hotel would have almost certainly been compelling had it been left at that. But that brings up another problem with this version. While it is highly effective as a ghost story that manages to scare the bejesus out of you at times, it’s also a desperately depressing tale. Not a problem in itself, but I’m not entirely convinced we want our Christmas ghost stories to be quite that dark. Perhaps that’s just personal taste but if we think of the tradition going back to A Christmas Carol (debatable, I know), then we get creepy but we also get redemption. James wasn’t big on redemption but you never come away from one of his stories with a sense of misery. And is the Japanese-horror influence of the climax also a bit too sharp for a Christmas tale? Maybe I’m getting old yet I can’t help but think the spirit of these things is to not stray too far from ‘creepy’ and to keep well away from ‘terrifying’. Still, if that’s your kind of thing and you can work your way around the self-inflicted problems of the plot, there is much to enjoy here. Just don’t expect to feel too festive.

The second disc brings us to A Ghost Story for Christmas proper with the first two productions broadcast in 1971 and 1972. The Stalls of Barchester is a straight re-telling of James’s original with Robert Hardy as the ruthless Archdeacon who can’t quite wait for his 92-year old predecessor to vacate his position by natural causes. One deviation from the source material is that the supernatural elements of the story are shown rather than suggested. While that may be to its detriment, it must be said that they also represent the only scares to be found in this particular episode and they are pretty well done. But despite some rather voyeuristic camera work stalking the protagonists through the cloisters of Barchester Cathedral (actually it’s Norwich), the pace is perhaps a little too gentle, the tension a little too subtle; ultimately, it just hasn’t aged very well despite some good old-fashioned story telling. It’s still quite satisfying and atmospheric but you’ll have no problem getting a good night’s sleep afterwards. If you’ve got a turkey to cook then this is probably a good thing to be watching on your Christmas Eve.

However, A Warning for the Curious is quite possibly the pick of the bunch. It isn’t perfect; a somewhat unnecessary and contrived flash-back opening not featured in the source material undermines the idea of a mysterious figure seen only in the corner of the eye. It would be far more effective if we never saw William Ager (the last guardian of an Anglo-Saxon crown) as a living soul, let alone see him in close-up engaged in conversation. However, the variation to the story’s end is quite clever and goes some way to make up for the misstepped beginning. Of course, with a setting so similar to Whistle and I Will Come to You, the trick of using open spaces along beaches where distant figures can barely be made out is repeated but somehow, it doesn’t feel like a re-hashed idea. The mixture of tension and scares is just about perfect and ultimately this is about as good a Christmas ghost story as you’re going to get.

Despite some flaws and the not-always-flattering passing of time, both these discs are well worth owning. Despite their festive intentions they’re worth a watch any time of year and I won’t hesitate to bagsy the rest of the series when the review copies turn up. Mind you, the box-set might be nice for Crimbo. I’ll just drop some hints to my wife…

Whistle and I’ll Come to You (1968 and 2010 versions):

The Stalls of Barchester / A Warning to the Curious:

DVD Review: War Of the Worlds – The Final Season / Cert: PG / Director: William Fruet, George Bloomfield, Neill Fearnley / Screenplay: Greg Strangis, Tom Lazarus, Nancy Ann Butler / Starring: Jared Martin, Lynda Mason Green, Philip Akin, Richard Chaves, Rachel Blanchard, Denis Forest, Adrian Paul / Release Date: August 27th

The premise of this show, which aired for two seasons in 1988-90, is that, some forty years after coming unstuck in their first invasion, the aliens are back for another bite of the cherry. This time, though, mankind presents a softer target – the economy’s in ruins, everyone’s tuned out on legalized drugs and all the cars are rusty. Bound to be a doddle, right?

Wrong, and Season Two, now available on a 5-disc box set, sees both sides digging in for the long haul. Aided by an advanced technology consisting of yellow goo, seaweed and cabbage leaves, the aliens work against humanity in various underhand ways – they tamper with the water supply and atmosphere, and even go so far as to clone the lead singer of a punk rock group called The Terminal Band (whose signature tune “Scavengers” – “Take to the streets! Blood on the streets!” – would go down a storm at Glasto) and pack their music with self-destructive subliminal messages. On the rare occasions when they try more forthright methods, they soon come to regret it because their hand weapons, which look like cabbages, are impossible to aim.

Despite, or perhaps because, they’re ever so slightly rubbish at implementing their nefarious plans, they make for a thoroughly entertaining bunch of villains. It’s fun to watch them bickering when things go wrong, and they’re easy on the eye, too, in a hollow-cheeked, slick-haired, Kraftwerk video kind of way. And sometimes moments of genuine eeriness occur, as with Ardix (Richings), the cadaverous alien lab tech who utters a blood-curdling scream every time he supervises the cloning process.

It’s the humans who let things down. They’re dour, and not too bright, as typified by their leader, Harrison Blackwood (Martin) – supposedly a top boffin, although his idea of science is to bring alien artefacts back to his underground HQ and then leave them lying around until they thrust a tentacle into some innocent passer-by.

To be fair, the dourness is intentional. The whole series has a downbeat, seedy feel, with noirish lighting, grungy beards for the male actors and lots of scenes in deserted warehouses. There’s a surprising amount of gore, and physical SFX that wouldn’t look out of place in a cult horror flick (when the aliens get shot, their faces collapse and green stuff comes spurting out of their eye sockets). And some of the individual storylines are very good – including one, where they go back in time to the first invasion, which cleverly recreates a ’50s B-movie vibe. There’s a darkness and grittiness to this show that recalls traditional British sci-fi, and for that reason many UK viewers should feel right at home watching it.

Special Features: None

DVD Review: Devil Riders / Cert: 18 / Director: Julian Higgins / Screenplay: Bertie Higgins, Julian Higgins, Larry Madill / Starring: Robert Thorne, Jasmine Waltz, Bertie Higgins / Release Date: Out Now

This low budget biker shocker kicks off with some nasty goings-on in a seedy motel, to a soundtrack of swamp rock, and for about five minutes it looks like it’s not going to be too bad in a sleazy, Rob Zombie-ish kind of way. After that, though, the wheels come off.

The problem is the script, which starts off as mildly improbable and then becomes wildly incoherent, without ever managing to be interesting. Deciding to buy a couple of motorbikes as an antidote to their mid-life crisis, city slickers Allen (Rudometkin) and Robert (Higgins) strike a deal with Hell’s Angel types Ray (Thorne) and Billy (Wisell) then, with wives Cheri (Waltz) and Susan (Hopkins) tagging along, meet up with them in the desert for a day of putting the pedal to the metal, followed by a night of whisky-drinking and pot-smoking.

Ray and Billy positively ooze menace – Ray crushes a rattlesnake under his boot for kicks, while Billy is like a cross between the baddie in Dirty Harry and the hillbillies in Deliverance – so it comes as no surprise when they molest and kidnap Cheri and Susan. From that point, though, things become downright mystifying. Promising to release their wives if they obey his orders, Ray sends Adam and Robert off on a bloody wild goose chase that involves murder and mutilation (oh, and if you’re going to cut off someone’s hands with an axe and shoot him dead, you might as well shoot him first and do the chippy-choppy thing second when he’s stopped flailing about, don’t you think?)

Why Ray wants this done is a riddle wrapped in mystery inside a whole load of bad dialogue. The screenplay trails several possible explanations – it could be he’s a retiring white slaver rolling up his criminal empire with a flurry of lead handshakes, or maybe he’s a warped psycho in the manner of Rutger Hauer in The Hitcher, but there are also hints that he might be some kind of satanic shaman. One thing’s guaranteed: you’ll soon be past caring.

Implausibilities of this nature would be forgivable if the story generated any heat, but it doesn’t. Helmsman Julian Higgins co-wrote the script with his father Bertie Higgins, who also takes the role of Robert. You can’t help wondering if making a horror movie with his dad had an inhibiting effect on the young director, because Devil Riders is surprisingly tame and uneventful for an 18-certificate DVD, with aeons passing between blood-lettings. It all ends with a random splurge of mysticism and a nonsense last-minute twist that will have you snorting in derision. If you see this one staring up at you from a bargain bin, hit the throttle and give it a swerve.

Special Features: None

Review: Livid (Livide) / Cert: 18 / Director: Alexandre Bustillo, Julien Maury / Screenplay: Alexandre Bustillo, Julien Maury / Starring: Chloe Coulloud, Catherine Jacob, Beatrice Dalle, Felix Moati, Jeremy Kapone, Chloe Marcq, Marie-Claude Pietragalla / Release Date: August 13th 2012

Directors Bustillo and Maury create a completely different beast to their debut film Inside with a stunning horror fairy-tale laced with bloody imagery.  On Halloween evening a group of friends decide to search for unknown treasure in a mansion where Deborah Jessel, a famous ballet teacher, resides comatose in a wrought iron bed being drip fed blood to keep her alive.

Lucie Klavel (Coullou) has taken a new job as a carer for the elderly residents in her village. The experienced Catherine Wilson (Jacob) shows her the ropes, at first introducing her to the poor folk who get the level of care they can afford; a quick jab and a bed change. The final stop on their visit brings them to Jessel and her Victorian era style bedroom stuffed full of books, taxidermy and antiquated breathing apparatus. Jessel’s ghastly appearance brings to mind a Miss Havishim like figure starved of sunshine and love though living in wealth and as Catherine explains to Lucie “If you’re loaded with money you can get your last wishes respected” highlighting issues with wealth and class.

This is a film made up of two halves with a menacing atmosphere apparent throughout. The first part of the film introduces a bleak French seaside town, where the fisherman struggle a slow death, missing person posters are everywhere and Lucie can’t escape being haunted by the death of her mother (Dalle). The second half moves to a haunted house full of startling and inventive imagery of contorted cadavers and ferocious porcelain children. The intricate detailing in the sets and in some of the more brutal scenes in the house make for unsettling viewing playing out like a nightmare. Mechanical ballet dancers, taxidermy tea parties and a mother who uses her daughter like a doll and keeps her trapped only add to the intrigue of where this film is going. Bustillo and Maury make sure the viewer is immersed in the both the fantasy and the horror.

Nods to Suspiria, Hellraiser, Halloween 3, An American Werewolf in London are all there (and some more!) along with a hint of Lewis Carrol’s Alice in Wonderland and as well as being chilling there is much humour injected for horror aficionados. There is so much going on here, the themes of youth, wealth, mother/daughter relationships, the supernatural, the body shocks and soul swapping, it is no surprise that atmosphere and imagery replace a clear narrative. Bustillo and Maury have created a vivid horror fairy-tale full of interesting visual twists that are entrancing to watch. Their creativity, knowledge and obvious love for the horror genre make them an exciting duo.

Extras: Trailer / Making Of / Interviews: Julien Maury & Alexandre, Marie-Claude Pietragalia, Catherine Jacob, Félix Moati & Jérémy Kapone

 

Review: Battleship / Cert: 12/ Director: Peter Berg / Screenplay: John Hoeber, Erich Hoeber / Starring: Taylor Kitsch, Alexander Skarsgard, Rihanna, Brooklyn Decker, Liam Neeson / Release Date: August 20th

Any lingering hopes that Peter Berg’s career-torpedoing alien invasion stinker (based on Hasbro’s ‘Battleship’!) might be a bit more tolerable in the privacy of your home and behind closed doors are cruelly dashed as we have to accept that this is a really, really, severely bad film. Starburst has a soft spot for they-come-to-us movies (this reviewer still has to wear a hat labelled ‘unclean’ in public for quite liking The Darkest Hour and Skyline) but Battleship – basically Transformers At Sea but with none of the wit and sophistication of Michael Bay’s rampaging robot franchise – is an invasion too far. This is a film clearly written by idiots for idiots and we’re still not convinced that writers Hoeber and Hoeber aren’t actually a pseudonym for an infinite number of monkeys interrupted in the middle of a fairly major writing project.

But what else could we have been expecting? Battleship is inspired by the simplest of playground games in which participants call out numbers and imaginary warships blow up bit by bit. Not much for even the cleverest of scriptwriters to work with there. So our creative heroes have had to concoct a storyline – big noisy metal aliens invade Earth, that’ll do! – and somewhere along the line some other bright spark decide to crowbar in a couple of visual reference to the game the thing’s supposed to be based on. So we have the alien missiles which look a bit like the pegs used in the physical Battleship game and when they explode they destroy their target section-by-section. Brilliant! Later on someone says something like “they won’t sink my battleship” and that’s about it if you want to see any connection with your favourite old childhood game.

So maybe the film’s populated by really interesting people we can care about and fear and root for. Nope. The first half-hour is beyond tortuous as we meet US Naval officer Alex Hopper (True Blood’s Skarsgard) who tries to salvage his useless laybout brother Stone (Kitsch, John Carter – uh oh) who spends his time drinking beer, chasing girls and breaking into convenience stores. Despite being a complete tool Stone somehow manages to rise to the ranks of Lieutenant but his idiocy is about to get him kicked out of the Navy by Admiral Shane (Neeson) who, unfortunately, is the Dad of the girl Stone would quite like to marry. Fortunately for Stone giant bits of metal crash into the sea before he can be unceremoniously removed from the Navy and soon afterwards metal things are rising out of the water, firing missiles and sending big spinning firewheels into the air to devastate a nearby airbase. So that’s a definite ‘no’ then, it’s not about the characters. Stone deserves a good and constant slapping, his brother’s well out of it quite quickly, Liam Neeson is just in it for the money and Rihanna, as plucky Gunner’s Mate Cora, just gets knocked about a bit (no comment).

It must be the special effects then. Yes, of course they’re astonishing – this film cost about $230 million, they really ought to look astonishing. But they’re also really rather boring; just bits of metal flying about the place, rising up out of the water, trashing things. We’ve seen all this in the Transformers films, amongst others, and even the alien foot soldiers – basically superannuated Cybermen – just resemble humanoid aliens we’ve seen in SF films we’ve already forgotten about. As things blow up – and by God does some stuff blow up in Battleship – it gets harder and harder to remain even remotely interested and ultimately, such is the cacophony and the chaos on the screen it’s hard to work out what’s going on and why, much less care about any of it. The end, when it comes (and fortunately Battleship clocks in at around two hours – about a hundred and ten minutes too long but still mercifully shorter than some other recent self-important blockbusters), is ludicrous and powered by the sort of ferocious jingoism which does American cinema (and America itself) no favours whatsoever. 

A horrible, mechanical, soul-sucking experience, Battleship is dull, wretched, worthless twaddle. If you missed it at the cinema – and fortunately, most right-thinking people did – we pretty much order you to keep well away from this Blu-ray/DVD release of quite possibly the worst special effects blockbuster of all time.

Extras: Behind-the-scenes/making of stuff – Preparing for Battle, All hands on Deck (the cast), Engage in Battle, FX, tour round the USS Missouri. Everyone seems very pleased with what they’ve done, a bit like a small child who’s done a really big poo all on their own for the first time.