Review Category: DVD/Blu Ray

DVD REVIEW: MUMFIE’S QUEST / CERT: U / DIRECTOR: JOHN LAURENCE COLLINS / SCREENPLAY: BRITT ALLCROFT  / STARRING: PATRICK BREEN / RELEASE DATE: OUT NOW

Thomas and Friends creator, Britt Allcroft, has introduced many children to the unending pleasures of anthropomorphisation and the powers of friendship. In many ways his ’90s series, The Magic Adventures of Mumfie, had far more to say about friendship, and boasted a wackier menagerie of characters than Thomas ever did. While it hasn’t dated gracefully, Lionsgate has made it available on DVD in the UK for the first time. A few extras wouldn’t have gone amiss, though.

Mumfie’s Quest is comprised of 13 of Allcroft’s 10-minute episodes, trussed together to form a drawn out hour and forty-three minutes. Film and TV are different mediums, ‘nuff said, and it’s obvious that Mumfie’s Quest is more a series of vignettes than anything resembling a film. The plot takes unnecessary tangents, given its supposed film status, making the undersea sequences all but redundant.

The traditional animation is lovely, though basic. Presenting Mumfie, a well-mannered, inquisitive white elephant hungry for adventure and, like Bilbo Baggins’ unexpected journey, has adventure thrust upon him. Mumfie is hardly the oddest of his company, not with Pinky the flying pig, Napoleon the down-on-his-luck French raven or, most bizarrely, Whale who’s kitted out inside like a swanky hotel lobby. With a gaggle of Monty Python-inspired voices over Lewis Carroll-style escapades, the kids will certainly enjoy it (even on a diet of CG animation).

While the songs get tedious, they are heartfelt, the best being when the sea pirates break out, and the plot is sickly-sweet at times but never without charm and a bucket load of cute to boot. It may not quite have the depth, majesty or sophistication of Eastern animated movies, but Mumfie’s Quest is definitely a worthy English answer to any of Miyazaki’s films.

REVIEW: APOCALYPTIC / CERT: 18 / DIRECTOR: GLENN TRIGGS / SCREENPLAY: GLENN TRIGGS / STARRING: JANE ELIZABETH BARRY, GEOFF PINFIELD / RELEASE DATE: JULY 28TH

The found footage subgenre is often a cheap, easy and cynical way to generate scares. Since the mind-boggling success of 1999’s The Blair Witch Project, there has been a slew of imitations, crowding an already overstuffed niche. Glenn Triggs’ Australian horror Apocalyptic has done more to rejuvenate the found footage subgenre than any other film post-2000.

The film opens with documentary journalist Jodie, and Kevin, her camera man, attending an AA meeting where the pair catch wind of a backwoods cult. The duo go to investigate what appears to be a harmless enough commune led by a bloke who claims he’s god reborn enacting out a prophecy. Things inevitably turn sinister.

There’s strong performances from both Jane Elizabeth Barry and Geoff Pinfield as Jodie and Kevin respectively, and the supporting cast do a great job, but it’s David Macrae who gives a show -tealing turn as cult leader Michael Godson (see what they did there?), a demented spiritual leader; part Charles Manson, part Hannibal Lecter.

American film and TV is somewhat preoccupied with the Manson family, and cults are nothing new within the genre, but in an Australian context it really offers something fresh, creepy and effective. Apocalyptic, however, has more in common with Jim Jones’ infamous suicide cult than the Tate murders.

Like The Wicker Man, the film is concerned with esoteric spiritual values versus Christianity, not as explicit, but it’s there, bubbling under the surface. Kevin’s light relief offers moments of respite that make this a complex and three-dimensional piece of storytelling, which never seems to take sides.

Coming in at well under 90 minutes, Apocalyptic doesn’t take a huge time investment, but it’s a demanding film nevertheless. A lot of the best horror is, at its heart, simple and Apocalyptic is stripped back but no less effective. It builds up to an utterly harrowing ending as ambiguous as it is unflinching. There have been many Blair Witch imitations but Apocalyptic may just have done one better.

Extras: Making of / Director’s commentary / Trailers

REVIEW: ENEMIES CLOSER / CERT: 15 / DIRECTOR: PETER HYAMS / SCREENPLAY: ERIC BROMBERG, JAMES BROMBERG / STARRING: JEAN-CLAUDE VAN DAMME, TOM EVERETT SCOTT, ORLANDO JONES, LINZEY COCKER / RELEASE DATE: JULY 21ST

This latest straight-to-home-release JCVD-starrer is a fun, if predictable, actioner that sees the ‘Muscles from Brussels’ teaming up once more with director Hyams (Timecop, Sudden Death). Early on, we’re introduced to Henry (Scott), a former Navy SEAL turned Forest Ranger who seeks isolation in a forest located on the US/Canadian border. What Henry doesn’t realise is that Clay (Jones) is set to turn up at his door with revenge on his mind for his brother’s death; a brother who died on duty whilst under the leadership of Henry back in the day. With the two at odds, they must work together to fight the crazed menace of Xander (Van Damme), a French-Canadian vegan who happens to be heading up a drug cartel in search of some lost cargo that went down near to the peaceful, idyllic forest. Yes, after his scene-stealing turn in The Expendables 2, JCVD is one again playing the bad guy.

Enemies Closer may be a film that is firmly aimed at fans of ’80s action movies, but from the opening moments of JCVD taking down a group of guys by simply using various computer accessories (all that’s missing is a USB drive shoved up someone’s arse), you can’t help but be drawn in by Hyams movie. Make no mistake, it’s riddled with cheesy dialogue, some massively over-the-top brawls, and one-liners that would make Arnold Schwarzenegger’s Mr Freeze proud (“Put the kayak down”; “You make one wrong move, you’re gonna have a new asshole”) Central to the film is another staple of ’80s cinema: angsty partners. Scott and Jones’ characters, despite some clear differences and bickering, have to team up to take down Van Damme. Reminiscent of the Roddy Piper/Keith David dynamic from They Live, the two are just as happy cracking wise as they are with having a slapstick fight involving tins of soup and irons.

Of course, Van Damme is the flagship name here, and he delivers a brilliantlY loony performance, making you wonder why it took so long for him to turn to the dark side after all these years. Don’t be expecting the serious, hand-shacking, baby-kissing good guy who throws out a quip or two – this Van Damme hams it up something rotten, producing an erratic villain who, in the blink of an eye, goes from talking about carbon footprints to ramming a branch through somebody’s windpipe. Meanwhile, Jones is decent, although it’s hard to really buy into Dead Man on Campus and An American Werewolf in Paris’ Scott as an action-type of guy.

At a running time of just over 100 minutes, Enemies Closer is breezy, enjoyable fun that’s not to be taken too seriously. Predictable, yes, but it’s worth a watch just to see Van Damme’s crazed hairdo.

Extras: A Closer Look – Making of Enemies Closer / Audio commentary with Peter Hyams

 

REVIEW: WE WITHOUT WINGS / CERT: 18 / DIRECTOR: VARIOUS / SCREENPLAY: VARIOUS / STARRING: JOEL MCDONALD, SCOTT FREEMAN, RICCO FAJARDO / RELEASE DATE: OUT NOW

We Without Wings is based on the forgettable 2009 visual novel video game, Under the Innocent Sky. For all its faults, the game demonstrated far more restraint than the subsequent anime, being that the hentai took a backseat. We Without Wings is a vulgar blight on the genre, which unfortunately swamps genuine gems like Wolf’s Rain and Hayao Miyazaki’s treasure trove of classic films.

The 2011 anime is comprised of 12 episodes; the first few (crotch shots, camel-toes and sentient breasts aside) is little more than exposition, setting up a mass of unsympathetic characters in the terrible hentai vehicle of a plot.

Like Aesthetica of a Rogue Hero, We Without Wings completely commodifies women, objectifying them at every single plot turn, taken to utterly farcical extremes. It doesn’t stop with the misogyny, but also peddles skewed ideas on masculinity (‘real men don’t wear condoms’).

The worrying thing is that We Without Wings hardly stands alone, though it’s certainly one of the most insidious examples put to disc. There’s plenty of more explicit examples saturating the web, but a DVD release is indicative of an audience, which makes one wonder who the hell is buying it.

There’s idiosyncratic and frenetic humour by the bucket load which gets lost in translation. Yes, there’s cultural differences, but the ends doesn’t justify the means. The paedophilic overtones are deeply uncomfortable and concerning, especially when it tries to justify itself with cod social commentary.

We Without Wings seems to take glee in showing demeaning pornographic elements: conversations with women where their jiggling breasts fill up the screen, instead of their mouths moving, and underwear so tight it leaves nothing to the imagination. It’s insulting, for sure, but other than a whiff of titillation, it’s all but functionless. You’re better off steering clear of this one.

Extras: Commentary / Trailers / Songs

REVIEW: DIVERGENT / CERT: 12 / DIRECTOR: NEIL BURGER / SCREENPLAY: VARIOUS / STARRING: SHAILENE WOODLEY, THEO JAMES, KATE WINSLET / RELEASE DATE: AUGUST 11TH

Beatrice (Woodley) lives a simple life with her parents and brother, caring for the unfortunate of the once great city of Chicago, but no matter how hard she tries to fulfil her destiny as one of the selfless, she can’t shake the feeling that there’s more to life.

Luckily for her, the rite of passage of every resident of the self-contained city approaches and as Beatrice struggles to accept her own hopes and dreams, she discovers that simply choosing one vocation is no longer an option. While the city is split into very separate factions (in order to maintain peace), Tris – as she goes on to call her bad self – appears to be all five of them. In a word, she is Divergent. And in this brave new world, that’s very, very bad.

Since the emergence of Twilight the literary and film world have been besotted with the pulpy mix of female teen angst and the selection of a path that is both more dangerous and more exciting than the life the average girl is supposed to lead. Divergent is no different. The cookie-cutter narrative borrows heavily from the same trials endured by Bella and Katniss (in The Hunger Games) as Tris turns her back on her former life and is both terrified and intoxicated by her new one. And then, of course, there’s love with a steamy monosyllabic guy who plays hard to get but succumbs at the end.

On the surface, this isn’t a terrible film (Hollywood certainly don’t seem to think so, ordering up two more instalments). The performances are acceptable, the effects and ambience are appropriately up to standard and this ensures that it ticks all the right boxes to get the tweenage generation swooning over Tris’s troubled yet exhilarating life. But beneath all of that there’s really very little which warrants praise.

Divergent is often mentioned in the same breath as The Hunger Games, but that’s really only because this lifts so heavily from it thematically. Divergent exists purely because of the popularity of The Hunger Games, which in turn owes its success in no small part to Twilight’s triumph both on and off screen. That being the case, there really isn’t enough originality here to get even vaguely excited about. Aside from the obvious, everything from The Matrix, through Inception and 1984 are tapped in an effort to be the ‘next big thing’. For all our sakes, let’s hope the trend doesn’t continue as before long we could end up with further watered-down variations on this theme with even more convoluted script mash-ups.

Extras: Audio commentaries / Featurette / Deleted scenes / Gallery

REVIEW: A CLOWN’S RECOVERY / DIRECTOR: MATTHEW BROOMFIELD / STARRING: ALBERT CADABRA / RELEASE DATE: OUT NOW (R1 ONLY)

Not, as one might imagine, given Chemical Burn Entertainment’s usual output, a horror film about killer clowns. No, A Clown’s Recovery is in fact a documentary which follows circus entertainer ‘Jelly Boy’ the clown in his recovery from serious (non-circus) burn-related injuries. Like Jackass crossed with a Panorama news report, it’s as real as it gets.

So, yes, a documentary, but bear with it. As low-budget and dirty as anything Chemical Burn have ever found and put out (even their documentaries look off-puttingly cheap), A Clown’s Recovery tells a fascinating, enlightening and even feel-good story that is well worth hearing out. Granted, the fact that there’s a grammatical error before the credits have even rolled doesn’t bode well, but that only adds to the film’s odd charm.

Jelly Boy’s shocking injuries (burns covering 15% of his body, plus smoke inhalation) and subsequent recovery (not a spoiler, it’s in the title) are all covered in this biopic, which uses talking head interviews, dramatisations, archive footage and animation to tell its tale. It’s all very rough and ready (the animation looks as though it could have been done on Microsoft Paint) but the humanity of the story negates such quibbles. The description of the initial fire and Jelly Boy’s injuries speak for themselves – the film does perfectly well without a high-budget dramatisation.

Director and narrator Matthew Broomfield – Jelly’s own brother – does a good job of keeping the story anchored, garnering sympathy and interest without feeling self-indulgent or too personal. What follows is the tale of Jelly’s almost miraculous recovery, assisted by his circus family. It’s weirdly uplifting, in its own very punk way.

From Pennywise the Dancing Clown to the Killer Klowns From Outer Space, horror cinema has gathered quite the collection of famous funnymen over the year. So very real and painful, Eric Bloomfield and his miraculous Clown’s Recovery deserves to be one of them – if only for the sheer perseverance that makes this documentary such fascinating viewing.

Extras: None

REVIEW: MONKEY BOY / DIRECTOR: ANTONIO MONTI / SCREENPLAY: ANTONIO MONTI, CHIARA PARODI, DAVIDE ZAGNOLI / STARRING: GIAMPIERO BARTOLINI, GIANNA FANTONI / RELEASE DATE: OUT NOW (R1 ONLY)

When an old woman dies suddenly, the mutant monster who lives in her cellar is free to explore the world and harass the innocent young women in it. Like Texas Chainsaw 3D crossed with Castle Freak, with a fairytale twist, Monkey Boy is the most dreamlike horror story this side of a Guillermo del Toro, complete with princesses, dice and… you know, a Monkey Boy.

Del Toro is the obvious frame of reference for Monkey Boy, which is so much concerned with its visuals that it frequently forgets about the story. That’s fine for the likes of the great Guillermo, but when your budget can only just stretch to a semi-decent monkey costume (think Buffy the Vampire Slayer), you have a bit of a problem.

Thankfully, it’s just about intriguing enough to retain viewer interest throughout. Dialogue is sparing, leaving it feeling almost like a silent movie at times. It has that in common with its heroine – the film’s would-be heroine, a teenage mute girl, traumatised by the death of her mother, obsessing over a pair of dice. The other characters (split up into their own ‘chapters’) consist of a cop, a prostitute, the princess’ dad and Monkey Boy himself. Writer and director Antonio Monti pushes the fairytale element a little too hard (one character is even dressed like Snow White) but it’s an interesting touch that you don’t get too much in mainstream horror, outside of the likes of del Toro and chums. There’s an almost Lovecraftian element to it too, although that could just be a hangover from the similarities to Castle Freak.

Monkey Boy is another interesting acquisition by Chemical Burn, who are slowly gathering a catalogue of odd horror from around the world. Granted, the quality can vary and the budgets are barely higher than your average back garden epic, but at least they try hard – most of the time, anyway. Detractors of low-budget horror will be unimpressed by the resolutely dingy, cheap Monkey Boy, but the more adventurous should find something to appreciate in its creepy, dreamlike atmosphere and surrealist overtones.

Extras: None

REVIEW: REMO WILLIAMS – THE ADVENTURE BEGINS / CERT: 15 / DIRECTOR: GUY HAMILTON / SCREENPLAY: CHRISTOPHER WOOD / STARRING: FRED WARD, JOEL GREY, WILFRED BRIMLEY, KATE MULGREW / RELEASE DATE: OUT NOW

Remo Williams: The Adventure Begins wanted to be James Bond so much it hurts. Based on The Destroyer, a long-running series (149 titles so far!) of pulp novels created by Warren Murphy and Richard Sapir concerning the exploits of super-agent Remo Williams, the movie version roped in Bond director Guy Hamilton and sometime Bond screenwriter Christopher Wood. But the magic didn’t happen; it seemed that the world was quite happy with the James Bond it already had and didn’t really see the need for what was described on the film’s release as a “red, white and blue-collar” version of 007.

Nearly thirty years later and Remo reappears in a beautifully packaged new Blu-ray from Arrow which more than does the title justice. It’s a charming little film but perhaps its downfall lies in the fact that Fred Ward’s Remo, a New York cop recruited against his wishes into a covert espionage organisation, just isn’t brutal enough. The tone of the film is relentlessly tongue-in-cheek, much of it is played for laughs and too much time is spent focusing on Remo’s training. He’s paired up with inscrutable Korean martial arts guru Chiun (played, uncomfortably, by famously non-Korean actor/dancer Joel Grey). Chiun teaches Remo how to harness his own body’s innate hidden strength and abilities to turn him into a ruthless human killing machine (although he never actually kills anyone). It’s all good fun stuff with Remo falling off wires, plunging into sand dunes and hanging from fairground ferris wheels but it takes an age for the actual plot to get going – and when it does it’s a mundane affair involving a corrupt weapons procurement scam. Snooze.

But despite its stodgy pace and idling, unhurried narrative, there’s plenty to recommend in The Adventure Begins (also released as Unarmed and Dangerous). Craig Safan’s fabulously 1980s synth-drenched score is instantly memorable and the Blu-ray is worth the price of admission just for the breathtaking action sequence set on and around the Statue of Liberty, covered in scaffolding at the time of the filming. Years before CGI and green screen took much of the real skill out of this type of big set-piece, the sequence is all the more impressive because it’s done with real stuntmen on a real location taking what look like insane risks for the sake of a motion picture. It’s a fantastic scene but acrophobics may want to look the other way.

Remo Williams: The Adventure Begins was a franchise-to-be that arrived stillborn but the intervening years haven’t treated it too shabbily. Tonally it’s all over the place but Fred Ward’s a likeable, craggy lead and, with a better focused script and less comedy shenanigans, Remo Williams really could have been a contender. But sadly, the adventure begins and ends here.

Extras: Commentary / 70-minute documentary on 1980s action cinema / Joel Grey recollections / Collector’s booklet / Trailer

REVIEW: VAMPIRE ACADEMY / CERT:12 / DIRECTOR: MARK WATERS / SCREENPLAY: DANIEL WATERS / STARRING: ZOEY DEUTSCH, LUCY FRY, DANILA KOZLOVSKY, GABRIEL BYRNE / RELEASE DATE: OUT NOW

Having died an embarrassing undeath at the American box office earlier this year, this toothless adaptation of Richelle Mead’s ‘best-selling’ young adult novel receives a perfunctory DVD release in the UK having been pulled from its planned theatrical run. But even on DVD (there’s no UK Blu-ray version) it’s dead on arrival and it’s not hard to see why.

It appears that seventeen-year-old Dhampir (half human/half-vampire) Rose Hathaway is on the run (for entirely unexplained reasons) with her royal Moroi (peaceful vampire) best friend Lissa Dragomir. Within the first fifteen minutes of the movie, where the art of clumsy info-dumping is taken to new extremes, Rose and Lissa are dragged back to St Vladimir’s, a Hogwart’s-like school for vampires. But evil vampires, the Strigoi, who hunt and kill like proper vampires should, are on their trail. Back at the school, Rose and Lissa have to deal with teenage rivalries and jealousies and danger from within the school’s own walls which threatens Lissa’s safety.

Seriously, who could really care about any of this stuff? Even the teen audience Vampire Academy is aimed at stayed away in droves and who can blame them? This is a warmed-up stew combining ingredients from Harry Potter and Twilight with a bit of Buffy-lite smartmouth dialogue thrown in for good measure. But it’s a concoction which just never comes to life. The writing is stilted and self-conscious, the acting’s perfunctory at best (and, in the case of Lucy Fry, pretty terrible) and the budget clearly can’t stretch to much in the way of decent visual effects.

Lumbered with a dull, incomprehensible and downright uninteresting plot weighted down by far too much dizzying backstory, Vampire Academy has little to recommend it apart from one or two well-staged fight sequences and a commendably optimistic ending which hints at a sequel which, mercifully, will never happen. It’s a horrible and lifeless husk of a film designed to cash-in on lingering Potter/Twilight popularity but it’s so blatantly, unapologetically cynical that even tweens still yearning for their fix of sparkly Robert Pattinson won’t be fooled again this time. If its risible box office takings haven’t already done the job, then let’s hope Ofsted can step in and close Vampire Academy down for good. No one comes out of this terrible shambles with any merit or distinction whatsoever.

Extras: Alternative opening sequence / Conversation with Richelle Mead / Deleted scenes

REVIEW: AMERICA’S ALIEN INVASION – THE LOST UFO ENCOUNTERS / CERT: U / DIRECTOR: J. MICHAEL LONG / STARRING: STAN GORDON, DAVID TWITCHWELL, WILLIAM KONKOLESKY / RELEASE DATE: VOD OUT NOW

We love a good conspiracy theory at STARBURST, and this documentary claims that the White House was actually privy to a UFO invasion in both 1952 and 1963, deciding to keep schtum about the whole thing. A government? Covering things up? Surely not.

Now if you have any fleeting interest in the whole UFO thing, chances are you’ve heard all of what’s on show in America’s Alien Invasion before. The features looks at ‘incidents’ as far back as the days of World War II and even talks about how the alien influence can be seen in pyramids and temples dotted around the globe, not to mention cave paintings from the days when dinobot dinosaurs roamed the earth. We even get input from the Vatican on the matter. Yes, the organisation that struggles so much to believe in the likes of gay marriage actually has some quarters that believe that little green men have visited our humble planet. Similarly, we also get the outlook of demonologists on the UFO phenomenon.

America’s Alien Invasion ticks all of the usual boxes for such a feature, including the always-fun topics of abductions, probes and experiments, and then there’s the ever-familiar bug-eyed alien images that have become as synonymous with the field as Elliott has with E.T. Whilst throwing up the same old propaganda, the documentary also urges you, the faithful viewer, to believe and calls for public outcry to take hold and demand answers from the government. One big question is why doesn’t the media beat to the same drum and demand answers? Well, of course, America’s Alien Invasion claims that the media is instructed not to report on any UFO shenanigans. Then there’s the angle that, due to not having access to substantial proof, media outlets risk their reputation if they run such stories as ‘aliens took my dog for intergalactic intrusive exploration’.

The formula of America’s Alien Invasion is a tad overplayed by this point, with it feeling like a repetitive look at worn-out theories and speculative mud-slinging. Just because the feature has an Inception-lite score thrown in over the usual ‘the truth is out there’ material doesn’t make it any fresher or relevant. A brisk running time of 60 minutes makes the film not totally unpalatable, but the subject matter still can’t help but feel stale. At this stage in the game, and with a major lack of any modern developments in terms of proof, surely even Fox Mulder has lost interest in whether the truth really is out there.

A decent enough documentary for those new to the topic, but America’s Alien Invasion doesn’t raise any new issues or bring anything revolutionary to the table, making it nothing more than casual interest fodder at best.

Extras: Trailers