Review Category: DVD/Blu Ray

DVD REVIEW: THE TRUTH ABOUT EMANUEL / CERT: 12 / DIRECTOR: FRANCESCA GREGORINI / SCREENPLAY: VARIOUS / STARRING: KAYA SCODELARIO, JESSICA BIEL, ALRED MOLINA / RELEASE DATE: SEPTEMBER 8TH

The Truth About Emanuel is Francesca Gregorini’s second feature film following 2009’s coming-of-age-drama Tanner Hall. Like Tanner Hall, it is concerned with sexuality and attraction and not without its Sapphic elements, but it’s more a study of maternity than desire.

Emanuel, played by Skins’ Kaya Scodelario, is a confrontational, closed-off and intelligent seventeen year old, disenchanted with life and unable to get over the fact that her mother died giving birth to her. In many ways the character is like Stacy Martin’s in Nymphomaniac. Though Emanuel is not as compulsively driven toward sex, the characters are fundamentally the same, damaged and out of place.

Linda, the New Age-inclined, upper middle class neighbour played by Jessica Biel, becomes the mother Emanuel never had. The film follows their gradual dependency on one another, and their unconventional relationship. Gregorini’s script (based on a story written with Sarah Thorpe) does a decent job, though she struggles to make the audience warm to Emanuel. Alfred Molina plays Emanuel’s father, demonstrating his versatility as an actor, but even a good performance from him isn’t enough to get you emotionally invested.

It’s an unconventional discovery of self, not unlike This Must Be the Place, with arty pretensions (it manages to stay on the right side of precious, but just barely). Ultimately it’s a story of motherhood, and the finesse with which it’s articulated is impressive, though it’s little more than a second-rate Sofia Coppola film.

Extras: None

DVD REVIEW: WEREWOLF RISING / CERT: 15 / DIRECTOR: BC FURTNEY / SCREENPLAY: BC FURTNEY / STARRING: MELISSA CARNELL, MATT COPKO, BRIAN BERRY / RELEASE DATE: SEPTEMBER 8TH

Werewolf Rising is BC Furtney’s latest punt at horror following 2013’s Death Wish knock-off, Do Not Disturb. As with his first attempt, Furtney directs his own messy script for youngblood horror company, Ruthless Pictures. Low-budget horror may very well be the lifeblood and foundation of the genre, but it’s what’s done with the budget that counts, and Werewolf Rising doesn’t do an awful lot.

The characters have about as much charisma as dung beetles. Emma (played by Humans Versus Zombies’ Melissa Carnell) is a recovering alcoholic returning to her childhood home town (yes, that old chestnut), a similar setup to the superior Spanish horror-comedy, Game of Werewolves. Matt Copko deadpans his way through the role of neighbour Johnny Lee, monotonously delivering lines without an ounce of irony.

The thin plot pootles along with a bland score, flitting between moody Americana that fails to tug at the heartstrings and a repetitive John Carpenteresque piano piece. The effects are just as limp: the werewolf sees in a grotty red film, a precursor to uninspired gore effects and a disappointing transformation. The werewolf itself looks like a love child between Predator and Dracula and not half as fun as either.

Werewolf Rising fails as both horror and drama. At 76 minutes it doesn’t require a huge time investment, but you’ll probably want to avoid this one as a bitten man avoids the moon.

Extras: None

DVD REVIEW: PATRICK – EVIL AWAKENS / CERT: 18 / DIRECTOR: MARK HARTLEY / SCREENPLAY: JUSTIN KING / STARRING: SHARNI VINSON, CHARLES DANCE, RACHEL GRIFFITHS, PETA SERGEANT / RELEASE DATE: OUT NOW

A remake of the 1970s horror of the same name, Patrick: Evil Awakens brings the story to the present day while retaining much of the same plot and themes.

Young nurse Kathy Jaquard begins working at a mysterious remote care facility for comatose patients under the stone-faced observation of Matron Cassidy and the obsessive Dr Roget. She soon learns of the doctor’s pet project, a young man named Patrick whose physical form remains perfect despite his condition. It soon becomes apparent to Kathy that Patrick may be more aware than anyone realised, as well as being in possession of hidden abilities.

Produced as part of the Ozploitation movement of the ’70s and ’80s that gave us titles like Mad Max, Long Weekend, Turkey Shoot and The Cars That Ate Paris, like many once-shocking films the original Patrick has lost much of its impact, so producing a remake in this case is not quite as redundant as it usually is.

Rising horror star Sharni Vinson (Bait, You’re Next) is as engaging as ever, portraying equal parts inexperience and determination. She can certainly scream with the best of them, although Kathy’s vulnerability is at times belied by Vinson’s stunt training, making her appear far more agile and physically durable than she should be. Kathy’s gradual realisation of that far from being a victim, Patrick is just as thoughtless and selfish as everyone else she encounters forms the backbone of the story, along with her discovery of the true extent of his psychokinetic powers.

Charles Dance has practically made a career of playing characters defined by an aloof condescension stemming from believing everyone else to be his intellectual inferior. Roget is no exception, his disregard for anyone else’s opinions or emotions mark him as just as potentially villainous as Patrick himself. Providing occasional relief from the Gothic gloom of the setting is Peta Sergeant (Iron Sky’s cleavage-sporting PR queen Vivian Wagner) as Nurse Williams, a vibrant dynamo of a woman, who since Kathy is the protagonist and everyone else is not particularly likeable, remains the one character you genuinely fear for.

Less a remake in the true sense, this is more of an update of the original film. Patrick’s communication via mentally manipulating a typewriter is changed to a computer screen, conveniently set to a 72pt font so we can actually read what’s on it without extreme close-ups, while the importance of the ever-presence of electricity is signified by a lot more than the incessant buzzing of a neon sign. A few choice lines from the original also manage to find their way into the script; a roomful of comatose patents chanting “Patrick wants his handjob” is particularly effective.

A decent remake of a lesser-known film, Patrick: Evil Awakens keeps the spirit of the original alive while managing to forge its own distinctive identity.

DVD REVIEW: THE QUIET ONES / CERT: 15 / DIRECTOR: JOHN POGUE / SCREENPLAY: CRAIG ROSENBERG, JOHN POGUE, OREN MOVERMAN, TOM DE VILLE / STARRING: JARED HARRIS, SAM CLAFLIN, OLIVIA COOKE, ERIN RICHARDS, RORY FLECK-BYRNE / RELEASE DATE: AUGUST 19TH

The resurgence of the Hammer Film brand continues with The Quiet Ones, a very British horror movie. In 1970s Oxford, Professor Coupland (Harris) attempts to disprove the supernatural by experimenting on a young woman called Jane (Cooke) with alleged telekinetic powers.

Coupland is assisted by students Krissi (Richards) and Harry (Fleck-Byrne). He hires a third, Brian (Claflin), to film the experiments. After being kicked off campus, they all relocate to an isolated house. As the experiments get more intense, so do the relationships between the five. Meanwhile Jane’s energy starts to manifest herself in ‘Evey’, someone only she can see.

The Quiet Ones uses a lot of old tricks, building tension with jerky POV shots, dark corners, strange sounds and doors mysteriously creAking open. While it sometimes works, it’s not very original. The acting is good all-round, particularly from a whimsical Harris, but it takes a while before the film gets interesting. The Quiet Ones is a mix of classic horror from the film’s time period and more modern fare like Paranormal Activity.

It has a few decent scenes but is a bit disappointing until the end, when a bit of much-needed action and a satanic cult subplot are thrown in for good measure, and we see what could have been. Not Hammer’s finest hour but a decent attempt at some postmodern nostalgia.

Extras: Audio commentary with director/co-writer John Pogue and producer Tobin Armbrust / Making of / Deleted scenes / Featurette on making the title sequence / Gag reel

DVD REVIEW: CARE BEARS – TOTALLY SWEET ADVENTURES / CERT: U / DIRECTOR: JEFF GORDON / SCREENPLAY: VARIOUS / STARRING: DAVID LODGE, PATTY MATTSON, MICHAELA DEAN / RELEASE DATE: OUT NOW

“Grumpy, what did you put in these cookies?”

And so begins a tale far from sweet, far from adventurous, but definitely deranged. In each of the four episodes on this DVD, a child mysteriously arrives in the acid-laced world of the Care Bears. The Care Bears take their victims on the ‘rainbow ride’ and feed them with hash cookies before sending them home, presumably leaving their parents to put them through rehab.

As well as the usual Care Bears suspects (Grumpy, Share, Lionheart, and Cheer) there’s an Ewok-ish creature called Beastly who likes to cause trouble for the doped-up bears. Beastly steals the keys to the emerald bridge gate because he’s scared of a monster he saw there. But two squirrels have become trapped on the wrong side of a two-foot wide, two inch deep ‘river’, leaving the Care Bears unable to help them because the bridge is closed. Rather than get their toes wet carrying the squirrels back to safety, they hunt down Beastly and his gang who hang out in a cave, and steal the keys back in a mind-blowing action sequence which involves some light throwing, and which the bears describe as ‘hot and painful’.

Major spoiler: The monster turns out to be a tree shadow. “Don’t let it harsh your mellow!” as Share Bear would say.

Grumpy bakes up a batch of what look like roasted magic mushrooms but are in fact his special recipe cookies. Share Bear, also a local dealer, is distraught when her customers prefer Grumpy’s blend. A turf war ensues with the bears getting baked regularly and exclaiming “Blazing!” when the buzz gets really rad.

Despite his bad-ass exterior, there’s more to Grumpy than meets the eye. He doesn’t believe in labels and really wants to share his drugs out equally with his best friends. And children. He’s a kind guy who likes to ride the rainbow and chill – ‘Grumpy’ must be more of an in-joke nickname. Likewise, Share Bear is a selfish, raging anger-machine from the bowels of hell who simply can’t abide other dealers getting a piece of the action. This is a lesson for kids in not trusting anyone, especially if other people describe them as caring or sharing.

These bears are sure to ruin the afternoon of any child, so consider it more of a threat than entertainment. Eat your peas, kids, or the Care Bears will come and get you. You have been warned.

Extras: None

DVD REVIEW: BACK TO THE SEA / CERT: U / DIRECTOR: THOM LU / SCREENPLAY: VARIOUS / STARRING: YURI LOWENTHAL, KATH SOUCIE, TOM KENNY, TIM CURRY / RELEASE DATE: OUT NOW

Have you heard of the Chinese animated family feature entitled Back to the Sea, which is about Kevin, a young flying fish, who lives in New York harbour? You know the one: he dreams of leading his family to Barbados – the mythical kingdom of the flying fish. Then one fateful day his adventurous nature finds him captured in a trawler’s net and delivered to the fish tank of a famous restaurant in New York city’s Chinatown, where he meets a quiet young boy who also longs for excitement and adventure. The two become fast friends and begin a daring quest to get Kevin back home to the sea.

Ring any bells? No? Don’t feel bad, as the film did have a very limited release in North America back in 2012, and it’s not hard to understand why. But where to begin? Well, it’s an animated film, so the animation is as good a place to start as any. Remember the ’90s cartoon Spider-Man series that mixed early CG with traditional animation? As great as the show was then, it seems quite dated now, and that gives you an idea of how Back to the Sea looks.

Then there’s the story. What do ParaNorman, Monster House, Frankenweenie, Toy Story (pick a film, any film) have in common? A good story that engages the viewer, and characters that you care about. Take Up for example. That arguably has one of the most heartbreaking scenes in cinematic history within the first thirty minutes or so.

Unfortunately this isn’t the case with Back to the Sea. Here the characters are dull and insipid and as two-dimensional as the cells that they’ve been drawn on. It would be unfair to say that this movie doesn’t have a story, it’s just that it’s very similar to both Finding Nemo and Ratatouille, with a smattering of The Goonies, a soupçon of Mission: Impossible and a sprinkling of Ocean’s 11. Now, perhaps director and co-writer Thom Lu is a fan of the aforementioned movies, but what we have with Back to the Sea is a greatest hits selection of scenes that seem to have been lifted wholesale and then shoehorned into the main narrative rather than served up as a knowing homage.

Even some decent vocal talent – including Tim Curry and that magician of many voices, Mark Hamill – cannot animate this moribund tale. Indeed Back to the Sea failed to engage its target audience as my three-year-old son went off to do something more interesting and my six-year-old asked if he could watch Scooby-Doo instead halfway through.

Extras: None

DVD REVIEW: PAINLESS / CERT: 15 / DIRECTOR: JUAN CARLOS MEDINA / SCREENPLAY: LUISO BERDEJO, JUAN CARLOS MEDINA / STARRING: ALEX BRENDEMUHL, TOMAS LEMARQUIS, ILIAS STOTHART / RELEASE DATE: SEPTEMBER 1ST

Juan Carlos Medina’s debut feature film, Painless (Insensibles), is a well shot, stylish and ambitious title, proving Spanish cinema continues to push the envelope. While more of a mystery than a straight up chiller, there’s a subtle yet pervasive horror running through it that takes in vivisection, experimentation and war crimes.

The effects, both digital and practical, are impressive and the flamenco-style music peppering the narrative is spot-on. The plot is fascinating and concerns a group of children who can’t feel pain and the repercussions of this discovery as a vehicle to illuminate and explore Spain’s troubled past. Cinema is littered with examples of children as horror, but Painless has more dignity, more depth than, say, Tom Shankland’s The Children.

Medina intertwines two narratives, one of which deals with the children in 1931 as they’re taken and locked away in an isolated asylum. The film follows the asylum through the Spanish Civil War, the Second World War and up to 1964, with the dates boldly emblazoned across the screen. The other narrative is set in the modern day, where David (well-acted by Àlex Brendemühl), having survived a car crash, is diagnosed with a form of leukaemia, requiring a parental bone marrow donation for an experimental cure, putting him on a journey of discovery.

Painless sees Spain still working out its own history through its art, and, in this case, its films. Like Guillermo del Toro’s The Devil’s Backbone, it’s very allegorical, with historical commentary that might be wasted on a movie-goer looking for a simple horror film.

Extras: None

DVD REVIEW: LEGEND OF KUNG FU RABBIT / CERT: U / DIRECTOR: LIJUN SUN / SCREENPLAY: VARIOUS / STARRING: JON HEDER, MICHAEL CLARKE DUNCAN, REBECCA BLACK, TOM ARNOLD / RELEASE DATE: AUGUST 11th

This animated affair centres on Fu (Heder), a large, unassuming rabbit who wants nothing more than to be the best cook that he can be. After rescuing martial arts master Shifu (Arnold) during an ambush, Fu is gifted with the magical power of kung fu. Tasked with a mission to return a tablet to Shifu’s daughter, Penny (Black), Fu must become one with his new power and take on the big, bad, imposing figure of Slash (Duncan).

Let’s get it out of the way: yes, this is a blatant rip-off of the enjoyable Kung Fu Panda. From a quick search on the legalities of such a film, it appears that there are actually quite a few Kung Fu Panda rip-offs out there, with this apparently one of the better ones. That bodes amazingly badly for the other films that have pulled on DreamWorks’ Jack Black starrer, for Legend of Kung Fu Rabbit is a feature that falls short on so many levels.

As if a remarkably derivative story weren’t enough, this rabbit’s tale is a sluggish, poorly thought-out feature that never threatens to do anything more than simply just get by. The animation is dull and so-so, with this doppelganger clearly not having anywhere near the budget of Kung Fu Panda, and the film also loses something in translation as the English dub is massively out of synch, only adding further to a sloppy presentation.

As for the talents involved, Jon Heder’s Fu just comes across as annoying, whiny and tiresome. The rest of the characters and cast are equally as forgettable and bland, although Michael Clarke Duncan’s dulcet tones bring some sense of menace to panda Slash. It’s just sad to see this wet fart of a movie serve as one of Duncan’s last.

In fairness to Legend of Kung Fu Rabbit, younger viewers may enjoy the adventure, especially if they’ve not seen Kung Fu Panda, and it could serve perfectly fine as background fodder to keep the nippers mildly entertained for a little while. Even that may be pushing it, though, as the film just becomes a chore to get through during its repetitive, stretched out and overplayed second act.

All in all, this is one of those movies that you will regret giving your time to, and it will have you thinking of all the other, better ways you could have spent ninety minutes of your day, such as chewing glass or repainting the house and then watching the walls dry.

Extras: None

DVD REVIEW: FAIRY TAIL THE MOVIE – PHEONIX PRIESTESS / CERT: 12 / DIRECTOR: MASAYA FUJIMORI / SCREENPLAY: MASASHI SOGO / STARRING: AYA HIRANO, SAYAKA OHARA / RELEASE DATE: OUT NOW

Based on Hiro Mashima’s manga and subsequent long-running anime, Fairy Tail The Movie: Phoenix Priestess sees the familiar Fairy Tail guild in their first feature-length outing, though it’s more of a drawn out two-part episode. The First Morning (included in the extras) is a 12-minute prologue set seven years before the events of the film, but it’s more of a deleted scene than required viewing.

The compelling opening sequence is told only with visuals and music—Middle Eastern by way of Japan. It’s a promising Princess Mononoke-inspired start that quickly devolves into familiar territory, loaded with tired tropes and heralded by a throwaway song over typically gaudy credits.

There may well be interesting enough sequences, specifically the all too infrequent stripped bare line-art animations, but the plot is nothing you haven’t seen or read before. After so many episodes, there just isn’t sufficient new material to justify a film.

While the plethora of wizards are a beloved anime staple, there’s not enough room for each to manoeuvre. Ultimately, as the titular Phoenix Priestess, it’s Éclair’s film (yes, like the pastry), but while she’s certainly the most interesting character, she gets lost among the overabundance of two-dimensional compadres, not to mention the Tweetie Pie lookalike Momon.

As in a lot of anime, the characters speak in soliloquies, the fight sequences are convoluted and motivations are all a bit dodgy, but there’s a heartfelt story of friendship there, if maudlin, and more kawaii than you can shake a katana at. If you’re a fan of Naruto or Ninja Scroll and fancy something a little bit different, it’s worth a punt.

Extras: Prologue / The First Morning / Songs / Trailers

BLU-RAY REVIEW: THE LAST SHOWING / CERT: 15 / DIRECTOR: PHIL HAWKINS / SCREENPLAY: PHIL HAWKINS / STARRING: ROBERT ENGLUND, FINN JONES, EMILY BERRINGTON, MALACHI KIRBY / RELEASE DATE: AUGUST 25TH

This low-budget, slow-burning horror has a very simple premise. Opening things up, we get introduced to Martin (Jones) and Allie (Berrington), a young couple who are out on a ‘date night.’ After taking in some cocktails, the pair visit their local cinema for a late night showing of The Hills Have Eyes 2. In said cinema, we find Stuart (Englund). With the young Clive (Kirby) as his manager, Stuart is old school in his approach to film. Dedicated to giving a piece of film the respect and attention it deserves, Stuart finds it hard to stomach how careless and unconcerned people seem to be about the small details that matter. Driven to his wits’ end by his employment and its environment, Stuart snaps and decides to make his own twisted movie.

As The Last Showing progresses, it becomes clear that Englund’s besmirched former projectionist has concocted a master plan. Pulling strings from afar, he is the writer, director, editor, and audience of the movie that he is filming using various cameras across the cinema complex. Utilising the tools at his disposal, like the screens dotted around the site and the power to control the audio in the building, not to mention the controls to the electronic shutters that confine the cinema to isolation in the midst of a retail shopping park, Stuart manipulates his cast, Martin, Allie, and Clive, in order to give himself the movie experience that he has been craving.

A minimalistic, charismatic thriller that slowly unravels a well constructed, slick and sinister story, The Last Showing is one of the most darkly charming British films of the last few years. Englund’s puppeteer is the crazed cat that leads the poor, unsuspecting mice through his atmospheric maze. And that’s wherein the film’s charm lies: in its tension-heavy, slow-burning design. Sure, certain moments, particularly some of the earlier actions of Jones’ Martin, may defy logic a tad, but there’s enough warmth and genuine care to The Last Showing that these small gripes can be easily parlayed.

At the heart of the movie, holding things together, is a great turn from Robert Englund. Best known for the over-the-top, aggressive, sadistic Freddy Krueger, his role of Stuart is completely removed from Springwood’s famed child killer. Understated, calculated and cunning, and also with an accent that sounds eerily like Star Wars’ Anthony Daniels, Stuart is a “villain” who often makes valid points on modern cinemagoers, even if his methods are a tad extreme.

Clever, crazed and contagious, The Last Showing is a film that is awash with tradition, twists, atmosphere, and charm. Does for multiplexes what Jaws did for water.