THE BREAKFAST CLUB (30TH ANNIVERSARY EDITION)

BLU-RAY REVIEW: THE BREAKFAST CLUB (30TH ANNIVERSARY EDITION) / CERT: 15 / DIRECTOR: JOHN HUGHES / SCREENPLAY: JOHN HUGHES / STARRING: JUDD NELSON, MOLLY RINGWALD, EMILIO ESTEVEZ, ALLY SHEEDY, ANTHONY MICHAEL HALL, PAUL GLEASON / RELEASE DATE: APRIL 6TH

What else can really be said about the legendary John Hughes’ iconic 1985 classic The Breakfast Club? It’s simply a marvel of a movie that still never fail to stuns to this very day.

Plot-wise, the focus is on five high school students who end up striking up an unexpected bond during a Saturday morning detention session. Ticking off various stereotypes, there’s the brain (Hall), the athlete (Estevez), the basket case (Sheedy), the princess (Ringwald), and the criminal (Nelson). As the film progresses, the narrow lines with which these characters are drawn become to widen and you realise that they’re all a lot similar in certain ways than at first thought.

A journey of teen discovery, The Breakfast Club is a film that so many have been able to relate to over the years, with each of the characters serving as some sort of entry point for near-enough everybody. It explores how everybody has quirks, bright spots and problems regardless of the perception given to others, and it’s a film that is absolutely brimming with heart, depth, humour, and also some stark, hard-hitting moments at its core.

Make no mistake about it, Hughes’ film is as flawless as they come and keeps finding a new audience with each new generation who discover it. Full of memorable moments, an expertly-assigned soundtrack (Don’t You Forget About Me will still have you punching the air at the film’s closing credits), and dialogue (we still can’t help but smile at Paul Gleason’s Principle Vernon’s “I’m gonna knock your dick in the dirt”) that somehow manages to be totally of its time yet still relevant to this very day, this is a special, special film. But the big appeal to such a new release of an established classic is just what special features are included in the package, and this is the one slight area where this 30th anniversary edition release falls down slightly.

There are some decent extras included, although the only new additions from previous releases are the inclusion of a trailer and a trivia track. The trivia track is a brilliant inclusion for fans who love to know anything and everything about the films they watch, but we were hoping that there would maybe be some other new extras included here. Still, for fans new to these extras, they’ll be sure to get a kick out of the 12-part Sincerely Yours or the breakdown of just where the whole “Brat Pack” tag came from. Also notable by his absence is Emilio Estevez, who is the only member of the film’s core group, bar Paul Gleason who sadly passed away in 2006, who doesn’t feature in any of the extras.

All in all, this is a superb film, an all-time classic, and an all-time favourite of many a film lover, so if you don’t already own it then what are you waiting for?

Special Features: Commentary with Anthony Michael Hall and Judd Nelson / Accepting the Facts: The Breakfast Club Trivia Track / Sincerely Yours / The Most Convenient Definitions: The Origins of The Brat Park / Trailer
 

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KINGDOM COME

DVD REVIEW: KINGDOM COME / CERT: TBC / DIRECTOR: GREG A. SAGER / SCREENPLAY: GREG A. SAGER, GEOFF HART, A. JAYE WILLIAMS / STARRING: RY BARRETT, CAMILLE HOLLETT-FRENCH, JASON MARTORINO, KATIE UHLMANN, ELLIE O’BRIEN / RELEASE DATE: TBC

When a group of unconnected strangers awaken in a dank room with no memory of how they got there, with nothing better to do they begin exploring the abandoned building they are seemingly trapped within. It soon transpires that each of them is hiding a terrible secret, and that they are being hunted by unseen forces lurking in the shadows.

If that doesn’t fire off alarm bells of potential tedium, know that director Greg A. Sager was previously responsible for the tepid puddle of afterbirth that was The Devil In Me (aka Devil Seed), and here gives us what is essentially Saw II rehashed with supernatural overtones, but utterly devoid of the sense of engagingly gruesome mystery such a description would suggest. A generic cast make the best of what little they’re given, but with underdeveloped characters and stilted dialogue punctuated by unimaginative profanity, they really don’t have a lot to work with. A few of the roomful of stereotypes aren’t entirely unlikable, inducing some glimmer of concern for their safety, so it really doesn’t seem reasonable to expect them to pay for a single mistake by having disproportionate levels of horrific violence inflicted upon them. However, the flipside of this is the voyeuristic enjoyment derived from punishment being meted out to those who unequivocally deserve it; there is without a doubt a certain degree of satisfaction to be had in watching a serial rapist have his guts torn out or a paedophile being beaten to death with a spade.

In between intermittent scenes of substandard torture porn the paper thin story is gradually revealed, and turns out to be nothing you’ve not seen before and as such will have already predicted well ahead of the big reveal. Threadbare clichés run rampant (“Maybe we should all split up”) and very little of any import actually takes place, and instead of coming off as equal parts moral ambiguity and visceral horror, the action provokes little more than boredom.

The lacklustre plotting is occasionally relieved by some genuinely creepy creature design and the third-act introduction of a scenery-chewing villain ties events together, but mere moments of inspired imagination doesn’t make up for gormless characters monotonously stumbling around for over an hour and a half. While Sager has noticeably improved from his feature debut, that’s really not saying much.

Special Features: TBC

 

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MY NAME IS ‘A’ BY ANONYMOUS

DVD REVIEW: MY NAME IS ‘A’ BY ANONYMOUS / CERT: TBC / DIRECTOR: SHANE RYAN / SCREENPLAY: SHANE RYAN / STARRING: KATIE MARSH, DEMI BAUMANN, TEONA DOLNIKOVA, ALEX DAMIANO / RELEASE DATE: TBC

It’s to this film’s credit that I watched My Name is ‘A’ by Anonymous for ten whole minutes before I realised that it wasn’t actually a documentary. Based on the real life murder of 9-year-old Elizabeth Olten by her teenage neighbour, this (sort of) found footage (sort of) fauxumentary makes for harrowing viewing on a par with the majestically depressing Snowtown, Megan is Missing and Boys Don’t Cry.

Self-harm, bulimia and rape make up just a few of the all-too real issues tackled here, culminating in a heartless and brutal murder of a small girl by the disturbed teenagers she trusted. While the murder itself isn’t particularly graphic, it’s presented in a manner that should stick in its viewers’ minds for a long time afterwards. A mix of found footage, gonzo punk, intimate, more ‘traditional’ filming techniques and – most bizarrely – segue into music video, it may make for uncomfortable viewing, but it’s never anything less than arresting.

That’s not, in any way, to say that My Name is ‘A’ is an enjoyable experience. Indeed, ‘experience’ is the only way to describe the viewing process where a film like this is concerned. Even when nothing is really happening onscreen (which is a lot, in a minimalist, realistic arthouse sort of way) there’s the unsettling atmosphere and knowledge of the atrocities which are soon to be headed to one’s screen. Parents and older siblings will be particularly affected by this film; while it never excuses its protagonists’ behaviour or crimes, we’re left saddened for them nevertheless, horrified by their nihilistic outlook and dreading the inevitable outcome. It slides next to the rest of director Shane Ryan’s unique filmography, nestling between the Amateur Porn Star Killer trilogy and Warning!!! Paedophile Released as a curiosity of independent cinema that one will never forget having watched, no matter how little you enjoyed it.

Not easy viewing, then. My Name is ‘A’ for Anonymous is an impressive bit of cinema verite (even when its artifice does show) but it will be just too real for some, whether it’s the ugly visuals or even uglier dark reality of the story. A powerful, poignant examination of all-too-real evil, this grim little documentary left me (in spite of a strong whiff of pretentiousness) shaken and desperately wanting to sit down my teenage sister for a long chat and a hug.

Special Features: TBC
 

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TSURITAMA COLLECTION

DVD REVIEW: TSURITAMA COLLECTION / CERT: 15 / DIRECTOR: KENJI NAKAMURA / SCREENPLAY: TOSHIYA ONO / STARRING: ADAM GIBBS, CLINT BICKHAM, COREY HARTZOG, JOSE GRELLE / RELEASE DATE: MARCH 23RD

Set on the tiny offshore island of Enoshima, Tsuritama is the unlikely coming of age story of four quirky and disparate individuals fated for friendship: an alien, an awkward misfit, a fishing whizz, and an Indian secret agent with his pet duck, Tapioca.

The vibrant animation is bold and glitzy but ultimately secondary to the writing of Toshiya Ono, who gently articulates the story around its four central characters. Newly transferred high school student Yuki Sanada is wonderfully awkward, barely able to hold eye contact or conversation without sweating profusely with his face contorting up into ‘demon’ expressions. His crippling gawkiness and adolescent rage is easy to get behind; we’ve all been there, but seeing how his character grows over the 12 episode arc is one of the show’s real strengths. It’s a masterclass in pacing and giving characters enough room to develop and flourish.

Haru, an alien who can control people with water, turns up on Yuki’s doorstep saying he’ll be living with him and his grandmother. While continually at odds with one another, the duo soon meet Natsuki, dubbed the fishing prince and filled with his own pent-up angst. He quickly takes on the mantle of teaching Yuki and Haru how to fish with a series of painstaking exercises, like casting into buckets. DUCK agent Akira might have been charged with spying on Haru for the clandestine defensive organisation, but quickly finds himself bonding over fishing with the other three, before all four go on to save the world.

The characters are indeed testament to the quality of the writing, as Haru in particular could have wound up simply being annoying, but he’s always engaging, comical and heart-warming. It’s a funny and often bizarre tale, but the weirdness never overtakes character relationships and the central coming of age story. Propped up by a deliriously catchy soundtrack and heaps of feel good factor, Tsuritama is a great entry point for any anime newcomers. You’ll probably learn a few things about fishing too.

Special Features: Openings / Trailers
 

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SCAR TISSUE

DVD REVIEW: SCAR TISSUE / CERT: 18 / DIRECTOR: SCOTT MICHELL / SCREENPLAY: SCOTT MICHELL / STARRING: DANNY HORN, CHARITY WAKEFIELD, KENNETH COLLEY, DANIEL FRASER / RELEASE DATE: OUT NOW

It’s been a while since the last Saw film, leaving us in a period of filmmaking where grim, bleak police procedurals are relatively few and far between. Well, the subgenre feels a little redundant when you can just switch on your TV for an episode of Criminal Minds or The Following – cop thrillers every bit as scary and gruesome as the horror movies they themselves are informed by. Enter British effort Scar Tissue, in which a young fellow finds himself stalked by a demented serial killer long thought dead and buried.

The Hollyoaks-after-dark style filmmaking gets you a cast of pretty young things trying to solve a fairly confusing murder mystery while the stubbly, useless cops serve only to get in the way or wind up either kidnapped or dead. What us Brits do manage to bring to the table is a surprising level of gore and some brilliant, uniquely English swearing. Nobody does inventive swearing quite like the Brits, and Scar Tissue doesn’t disappoint in that respect – it’s potty-mouthed script saving the day from its less than accomplished TV-level actors and mostly dull story. It does liven up towards the end, in a twisty and halfway clever finale which makes some entertainingly bizarre decisions.

Most bizarre of all, however, is the appearance of comedian (granted, your mileage may vary on that one) Tom Rosenthal in a fairly decent sized role. His performance isn’t enough to warrant seeking Scar Tissue out, but it’s an interesting curiosity in an otherwise clichéd and overly dark thriller. Just don’t go expecting any Friday Night Dinner level laughs – his character and performance are played straight, unintentional laughs aside. It’s still better than Plebs though.

While it’s not on a par with those it imitates, it’s at least made tolerable by some good gore, great swearing and a surprise Tom Rosenthal. So very charmingly British (in the dour, gritty tradition rather than a Downton Abbey kind of way), it’s like a Saw movie as filtered through Eastenders. Which is to say that, like the end credits of our most enduring soap opera, it’s a bit duff (duff, duff, duff).

Special Features: None
 

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HALO: NIGHTFALL

BLU-RAY REVIEW: HALO: NIGHTFALL / CERT: 12 / DIRECTOR: SERGIO MIMICA-GEZZAN / SCREENPLAY: PAUL SCHEURING / STARRING: MIKE COLTER, STEVEN WADDINGTON, CHRISTIAN CONTRERAS, SIENNAH BUCK / RELEASE DATE: MARCH 16TH

The history of video games being adapted into films is one littered with disappointment. None have been received with much enthusiasm from fans or garnered any real credibility, with the original Resident Evil being the only possible exception. And yet this rich vein remains a regular source of inspiration for filmmakers and shows no sign of running dry with more than 20 productions planned for release in the next few years. It is interesting, and perhaps understandable then that when approaching the coveted Halo franchise Ridley Scott’s company Scott Free Productions have avoided directly referencing any existing story.

Halo: Nightfall is originally a television series consisting of five 30-minute episodes originally released through the Xbox Halo channel and now available complete on DVD and Blu-ray. Set years after the events of any previous story and linked with the upcoming release of the Halo 5: Guardians game, Nightfall follows two elite teams of soldiers as they strive to overcome inevitable, weary differences in order to prevent a biological disaster; a mission that takes them back to the remains of an ancient Halo ring. Led by gruff former Spartan Aiken (Waddington) and slick Special Forces commander Locke (Colter), this is a back-to-basics military adventure featuring hostile new alien life forms as opposed to an all-out battle with traditional foe The Covenant.

In reality there are few Halo series references, and what there are could have been dispensed with as the central plot is a tried and tested formulaic one of survival, infighting and ultimately single-minded heroism. The result is a “film” that existing fans may find a little disappointing and one that casual viewers with little or no prior knowledge will easily understand, but will likely not be drawn to. Taken in context within the larger Halo universe context however, Nightfall is notable as a link between game releases. As an introduction to the character of Locke, who appears on the cover of the forthcoming Guardians, this film can be taken as an origin story of sorts; not one with the depth of a fully filled out backstory but certainly one offering some motivation for the actions of a character that may well become more prominent in subsequent games.

However you approach Nightfall, it predictably doesn’t live up to any scant early promise. Everything feels far too drawn out and a running time nearer the hour mark would have proved more than sufficient. Ultimately this film feels more like a dismissible extra to be included with a game bundle rather than a stand-alone release and as such it is difficult to know who it is really aimed at.

Special Features: Behind the Scenes / Various mini featurettes / Second story extras / Poster / Art cards
 

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A HAUNTING AT SILVER FALLS

DVD REVIEW: A HAUNTING AT SILVER FALLS / CERT: 15 / DIRECTOR: BRETT DONOWHO / SCREENPLAY: VARIOUS / STARRING: ALIX ELIZABETH GITTER, ERICK AVARI, STEVE BACIC, TARA WESTWOOD, JAMES CAVLO / RELEASE DATE: OUT NOW

Following her father’s death, Jordan goes to live with her aunt and uncle in the supposedly haunted town of Silver Falls. Jordan’s new boyfriend, a nerdy Rick Moranis lookalike called Larry, takes her to a party in the woods but they become separated when the party is busted by the police. Wandering through the trees, Jordan finds a ring in the undergrowth and puts it on without even realising what she is doing. When she returns home the ring brings the spirits of two murdered girls back home with her. The girls want Jordan to uncover the truth about who killed them, and paranormal activity begins to build up around Jordan thick and fast; objects go missing, photographs are mysteriously rearranged, and Jordan’s bedroom door starts opening and shutting of its own accord. Soon the ghosts are trying to tear the ring off Jordan’s finger while she sleeps, and in her dreams Jordan’s back in the woods, only to wake up in her own bedroom with mud on her feet. And she can’t remove the ring. “It’s like it chose me,” she tells Larry.

And then Jordan starts to see the ghosts for herself. Two twin girls, all straggly hair and black-rimmed eyes, who follow her wherever she goes.

When the ghosts lead Jordan to a bar and point out a TV news report about a man on death row who is about to be executed for the murder of the Dahl twins, she knows who the ghosts are. She also knows that the soon-to-be-executed man is innocent.

A Haunting at Silver Falls is like Nancy Drew meets The Sixth Sense. It’s not really a horror film, it’s a ghost story for the Veronica Mars generation and, to that extent, it does its job well. Alix Elizabeth Gitter is a solid and likeable lead, James Cavlo is believable as the geek-who-gets-the-girl and Steve Bacic and Tara Westwood do their best as the slightly too-young and quirky aunt and uncle, although you don’t have to be a seasoned horror fan to see the twist coming from a mile off. As for the Dahl twins, although they occasionally do that overused spinny-head thing from The Grudge and spend a lot of time staring at Jordan from underneath their fringe in a Ringu kind of way, their design and demeanour reminded us a lot of the dead girl from Stir of Echoes, which isn’t a bad comparison to evoke. In fact, A Haunting at Silver Falls could easily be described as a sugar-free version of Stir of EchoesI, which is one of the reasons we liked it.

Having said all that, Brett Donowho’s direction is flat and tensionless, and although the screenplay has some nice touches – check out the haunted school bus – it can’t avoid most of the usual clichés, including a horrendous moment towards the end of the film that literally made us groan. Don’t think about the film after you’ve seen it; all the unanswered questions will make your head ache.

A Haunting at Silver Falls could have been a lot better, but as teen ghost stories go we’ve all seen much worse.

Special Features: None
 

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SCAR TISSUE

DVD REVIEW: SCAR TISSUE / CERT: 18 / DIRECTOR: SCOTT MICHELL / SCREENPLAY: SCOTT MICHELL / STARRING: DANNY HORN, CHARITY WAKEFIELD, KENNETH COLLEY, DANIEL FRASER / RELEASE DATE: OUT NOW

It’s been a while since the last Saw film, leaving us in a period of filmmaking where grim, bleak police procedurals are relatively few and far between. Well, the subgenre feels a little redundant when you can just switch on your TV for an episode of Criminal Minds or The Following – cop thrillers every bit as scary and gruesome as the horror movies they themselves are informed by. Enter British effort Scar Tissue, in which a young fellow finds himself stalked by a demented serial killer long thought dead and buried.

The Hollyoaks-after-dark style filmmaking gets you a cast of pretty young things trying to solve a fairly confusing murder mystery while the stubbly, useless cops serve only to get in the way or wind up either kidnapped or dead. What us Brits do manage to bring to the table is a surprising level of gore and some brilliant, uniquely English swearing. Nobody does inventive swearing quite like the Brits, and Scar Tissue doesn’t disappoint in that respect – it’s potty-mouthed script saving the day from its less than accomplished TV-level actors and mostly dull story. It does liven up towards the end, in a twisty and halfway clever finale which makes some entertainingly bizarre decisions.

Most bizarre of all, however, is the appearance of comedian (granted, your mileage may vary on that one) Tom Rosenthal in a fairly decent sized role. His performance isn’t enough to warrant seeking Scar Tissue out, but it’s an interesting curiosity in an otherwise clichéd and overly dark thriller. Just don’t go expecting any Friday Night Dinner level laughs – his character and performance are played straight, unintentional laughs aside. It’s still better than Plebs though.

While it’s not on a par with those it imitates, it’s at least made tolerable by some good gore, great swearing and a surprise Tom Rosenthal. So very charmingly British (in the dour, gritty tradition rather than a Downton Abbey kind of way), it’s like a Saw movie as filtered through Eastenders. Which is to say that, like the end credits of our most enduring soap opera, it’s a bit duff (duff, duff, duff).

Special Features: None
 

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SUMMER OF BLOOD


DVD REVIEW: SUMMER OF BLOOD / CERT: 18 / DIRECTOR: ONUR TUKEL / SCREENPLAY: ONUR TUKEL / STARRING: ONUR TUKEL, ANNA MARGARET HOLLYMAN, DAKOTA GOLDHUR, DUSTIN GUY DEFA / RELEASE DATE: FEBRUARY 23RD


Erik Sparrow is a 40-year-old adolescent who has everything and appreciates nothing. A man whose commitment issues are his defining characteristic, we are introduced to him at the point at which his comfortable but loyalty-free life begins to unravel, and Summer of Blood essentially maps a genre analogy onto his midlife crisis.


Written, starring and directed by Turkish New York-based artist Onur Tukel, the film (whose name is deliberately suggestive of the morals and mores of the cultural revolution of 1967) holds a mirror up to a certain kind of post-slacker middle age and is perhaps almost predictably odd in mood and tone; Nick Hornby meets Richard Linklater via Woody Allen – with vampires.


Sparrow’s three-year relationship with girlfriend Jody (Hollyman) ends after an evening during which he first refuses her marriage proposal before the pair run into an old friend of hers, whose life has taken the opposite trajectory to Sparrow’s. Soon Sparrow finds himself flirting with an initially disinterested co-worker (Goldhur) and frequenting a dating website, with a certain superficial success. But Sparrow’s lack of substance means he is unable to maintain any kind of faith (in every sense), until one late night wandering the city streets he encounters and is bitten by a vampire.


The Allen-ish quality, which works fantastically well during the dialogue sequences (there’s a naturalness about the entire cast that makes the whole thing eminently watchable), makes for a gently amusing and good-natured experience – in spite of the ever-present sardonicism – but is less a good fit with the genre elements that become increasingly prevalent throughout the second and third acts. Tukel nevertheless creates some beautifully realised characters and there isn’t a single wrong note among the performances.


If there is one criticism that can be levelled, it is that – similarly to Hornby’s High Fidelity – there’s never a sense that the lead character deserves any of the rewards that come to him. So although the film ends on a positive beat, it is one that it hasn’t earned. That the vampire aspect of the story is never really examined is fairly moot; the consequences are more important than the causes and this is much more a movie about people than it is conceits.


Tukel, who manages to avoid most of the traps that Allen himself latterly fell into, is likeable enough and a very watchable screen presence, although remains perhaps rather too genial during the film’s more perilous moments. His Erik Sparrow is the perfect evocation of a man who manages to remain appealing entirely because of his humour and amiability, despite having an actually rather unpleasant worldview. Regardless, Summer of Blood is tremendously enjoyable and probably much more observant than many ostensibly more weighty productions.


KISSING DARKNESS

DVD REVIEW: KISSING DARKNESS / CERT: 15 / DIRECTOR: JAMES TOWNSEND / SCREENPLAY: JAMES TOWNSEND, LOIC MAGNERON / STARRING: NICK AIRUS, KYLE BLITCH, SEAN PAUL LOCKHART, RONNIE KROELL, ALEXANDRA FULTON / RELEASE DATE: MARCH 9TH

Having been doing this reviewing malarkey for a fair while now, Kissing Darkness is something that this particular writer never thought he’d be writing. But I’m putting it out there now, this is a truly horrendous film and one that wouldn’t be recommend to a worst enemy (or even to Michael Bay – hey, a Transformers grudge still lingers, okay?). So let’s get to why it’s so bad.

First up, the plot. To condense it to its simplest form, a group of gay friends decide against going to a Pride event in order to spend the weekend shacked up in a cabin in the woods. Once there, they accidentally awaken the spirit of a non-pleased vampire-like spirit who begins to corrupt them one by one. In terms of plots, there’s been plenty worse over the years. The problem is, quite simply, everything else. Every. Single. Thing.

Kissing Darkness is an offensive film on so many levels. Unlike films that offend some yet provoke thought, this is a movie that just offends in the way that makes you want to turn off your TV, smash it up, and promise to a higher power that you will never watch such tripe ever again.

From the moment the film opens, there’s literally not a single scene where the full group are fully clothed. In terms of stereotypes, Kissing Darkness makes a mockery of what was once perceived to be the “queen” gay man. Filled with plenty of “bitch, please” quips and enough penis jokes to leave a Carry On film with its head in its hands, the only way the film could get any more over the top with its overly-presented sexuality is if it slapped you in the face with its dick. Subtle, this one most certainly is not. And dialogue such as “protein smoothie”, “butt pirate”, and “this isn’t the made-for-TV movie where a load of queers get lost in the woods and have to eat each other’s asses to survive” only add to the groans.

Badly shot, poorly acted, horribly written, and riddled with shockingly clichéd characters, Kissing Darkness is hands-down the worst film to have been made in recent memory. And me personally, I hate to write that. The fact that a film got made, that’s enough for me to try and find something positive in it. With this, that rule is stamped on and completely ignored. In fairness, a little research reveals that the movie supposedly only cost $30,000 to make, and it’s always great to see Chillerama’s Sean Paul Lockhart, but that’s literally it in terms of taking any positives from this viewing experience.

Yes, Kissing Darkness has many restrictions on it, but the stuff that doesn’t cost a lot monetarily, as in scripting and storytelling, helps it none. The film’s tagline reads “Love has never been so cruel”. In reality, you could easily just substitute “love” for “a viewing experience”.

Special Features: TBC
 

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