Review Category: DVD/Blu Ray

Knife for the Ladies is a sadly too bland 1974 curio that seems out of place and out of time. Considering this was the year when the likes of The Exorcist or The Texas Chain Saw Massacre were in theatres it’s a reminder not every horror film was breaking new ground. Not that this is strictly a horror film. Indeed it’s actually mostly a western with some attempt at horror to hang its plot on, which explains one of its alternative titles: Jack the Ripper Goes West.

Mescal is a desert town witnessing the slow decline of its fortunes. A once prosperous mine presided over by the man who gave the town its name is now as dead as him. The people that arrived by the trainload now leave by coach, as those trains no longer call at Mescal. It gets worse for those who remain because a killer is stalking and murdering the women of the town. This has been going on for months and so Hollyfield, businessman and would-be sheriff, has gone to the big city and recruited Burns, a criminal investigator of the new style. The actual sheriff in Mescal is Jarrod, a man who finds his youth and integrity have long gone too.

When Burns arrives these two mismatched lawmen will have to decide whether they can put aside personal differences to discover the truth about who is killing the women of Mescal. To say that they do is hardly a spoiler. As with many of these films it’s about the journey as much as the final twist itself. Jarrod is played by Jack Elam, a character actor of some considerable ability and who has a number of screen credits. He plays Jarrod as an essentially good man lost in a time that’s passing him by. Jeff Cooper as Burns represents that, and he’s acceptable enough in the soap-opera style.

A Knife for the Ladies isn’t a great western nor is it a good horror movie but it has its charms. It’s a minor but entertaining example of the type of thing you could just as easily believe was a pilot for a TV show that never followed. It’s ever so slightly bloody but nowhere near as gory as its poster would have you believe, though the final five minutes are agreeably trashy and make you wish it had gone for that level of hysteria the whole way through. Inoffensive when it should be exploitative, you wonder whether the alleged ‘extra scenes’ of blood and nudity shot for Europe wouldn’t make it much more interesting. An extra star for the ‘Evil Ladies’ theme song and the laughs every time someone called Cooper’s character Mr. Burns!

A KNIFE FOR THE LADIES (1974) / CERT: 15 / DIRECTOR: LARRY G. SPANGLER / SCREENPLAY: SETON I. MILLER / STARRING: JACK ELAM, JEFF COOPER, RUTH ROMAN / RELEASE DATE: OUT NOW

After she is arrested for murder, the angry and violent Taryn Barker declares that her victim was in fact a demon and her incarceration puts lives in danger. After the investigating detective Beckett remembers failing to save Taryn’s abducted younger sister some years previously and subsequently experiences the truth of her claims, he reluctantly aids her in going after a powerful demon with ties to her past.

Ever since Buffy popularised the setup two decades ago, there has been no shortage of snarky young women battling the forces of darkness in the shadows of city streets, and Taryn, resolutely stalking the blue-tinted Dublin night and picking a fight by quoting the Ramones, seems a natural fit alongside such heroines. 

Unfortunately, after a promising start that sees the katana-wielding Taryn in a nocturnal battle that ends in decapitation (really, what’s not to love about sword-swinging Goth chick kicking ass?), the pace of Demon Hunter lurches to a crawl and from there drags unbearably. Characters seem unable to speak in anything other than pointless “let’s just say…” vagueness and portentous statements that offer nothing in the way of an explanation to back up their doom-laden pronouncements, the importance of Taryn’s backstory takes too long to recount, and the plot suffers from an overreliance on stock characters and tired genre tropes to drive it forwards. 

However, after a violent midway set piece the film starts to swiftly redeem itself. The final details of Taryn’s origin are revealed, offering a neat variation on the traditional progression of these types of stories, and after learning all the prior details you become eager to see exactly how events will play out. In preparation for the final battle Taryn goes full-on Eric Draven, accompanied by a pounding rock and synth soundtrack investing an energy largely absent from much of the preceding time, while the supernatural horror is realised by some fantastic monster makeup and prosthetics, along with seamless high-quality effects work that belie the film’s limited budget.

Although once begun Demon Hunter starts to seem somewhat average it culminates as something special, and if the film could have maintained such distinctive flair throughout then it might have been destined to quickly rise as an underground classic. As it stands, it feels like a squandered opportunity that wastes too much time treading familiar ground, but at its height is a compelling tale about guilt, redemption, forgiveness and sacrifice, fully embracing everything that holds back the darkness and allows us to remain human. 

DEMON HUNTER / CERT: 15 / DIRECTOR: ZOE KAVANAGH / SCREENPLAY: TONY FLYNN, ZOE KAVANAGH / STARRING: NIAMH HOGAN, ALAN TALBOT, KEVIN O’MALLEY, SARAH TAPES JENKINSON, NIC FURLONG, MICHAEL PARLE / RELEASE DATE: 12TH JUNE

“Are you making some of those up?” asks a dubious hostage after the Joker reels off an impressive roster of villains come to destroy Gotham once and for all. “Nope,” replies Joker, “all real. Probably worth a Google.” Good idea, and a distinct advantage of The Lego Batman Movie hitting DVD and Blu-Ray: the ability to pause and rewind at will, ensuring not a single precious Easter Egg is missed.

 

You’ll probably still miss a few though, so jam-packed is The Lego Batman Movie with nudges, winks, references and cameos to the DC Universe and beyond. Like The Lego Movie before it, Batman’s spin-off is a joy to behold, every frame an intricate, colourful work of art that’s both fun and functional. From the big-hitters like Two-Face and The Riddler, to the Z-List (Condiment King, Orca), the gang’s all here – and so is, um, Voldemort?! And the Daleks?

 

Will Arnett reprises his role as the Dark Knight in a story which delves further into the psychology of Batman than any movie has gone before, facing his fear of intimacy and, ultimately, loss (okay, Batman and Robin did go there in its surprisingly tender Alfred scene, but that was Batman and Robin). He comes to terms with this through the adoption of Dick Grayson (Michael Cera) and the brand new Commissioner Gordon, Barbara (Rosario Dawson). As he learns to love and let others in, what follows is fairly standard kids’ movie character progression… except with Batman.

 

Like its predecessor, The Lego Batman is as hyperactive as its young target audience will be after seeing it, barely stopping still for a moment of its breezy runtime. It’s a bright, loud popping candy party of a movie. From the performances to the animation, it’s that holy grail of a kids film, which is equally enjoyable to adults (especially if you happen to be more than a little acquainted with the Bat). If it’s missing anything, it’s a tune to match The Lego Movie’s ‘Everything is Awesome’ or Batman’s own ‘Untitled Self Portrait’. Michael Jackson and George Michael are teased, but the film goes all in on the less catchy Batman and Robin penned numbers which bookend it.

 

If anything, the film is too busy at times, the massive roster of characters not giving anyone but the lead five more than two or three lines of dialogue or anything to do (Billy Dee Williams finally gets to do his Two-Face after missing out in the Schumacher films – but his screen-time lasts all of five seconds). That said, Tom Hardy’s Bane voice comes in for a good ribbing, and some of the bigger laughs too. And Killer Croc’s head is that of a traditional Lego crocodile! The film earns an extra star for that alone.

 

But there’s a surprising infrequency to the belly laughs, as though The Lego Batman Movie was too concerned with setting out its toybox to be as funny as it could have been. It doesn’t help that the story is predictable too, lacking the astonishing twist of The Lego Movie, in favour of an obvious plot from the Joker that the World’s Greatest Detective should have seen coming. We’ll let him off though, it is a kids’ film, and this Batman’s brains are literally made of Lego.

 

The Lego Batman Movie is clever, funny and packed to the rafters with a veritable who’s who of Gotham’s most wanted. Everything is still awesome in Legoland, but there’s a lingering sense that this one could have been just a bit more.

THE LEGO BATMAN MOVIE / CERT: U / DIRECTOR: CHRIS MCKAY / SCREENPLAY: SETH GRAHAME-SMITH, CHRIS MCKENNA, ERIK SOMMERS / STARRING: WILL ARNETT, JENNY SLATE, RALPH FIENNES, ZACH GALIFIANAKIS, MICHAEL CERA, ROSARIO DAWSON, BILLY DEE WILLIAMS / RELEASE DATE: 19TH JUNE

William (Damon) and Tovar (Pascal) are nearing the end of a six month trek across the world in an attempt to find magical black powder to help protect their lands from invasion. Their posse has been decimated until only the two of them remain.

Exhausted, they are captured by the forces that protect China from invasion via the eponymous structure and soon witness an attack of huge proportions as monsters called the Tao Tei attack in droves, directed by their Queen. As events unfold, they help to defend the wall and win their captor’s trust and learn the history of the monsters that want to eat everything in their path.

 

Torn between his commitment to his task and the trust that has been bestowed upon him, William helps to fight against the increasingly clever Tao Tei attacks as they try to get through to the capital.

 

Tovar does not take kindly to William appearing to want to become the hero rather than finish their mission and turns on his friend and it’s left to William to prove to the Chinese that he did not plan for the apparent treason that Tovar has pinned on him and help them defeat the monsters once and for all.

 

The Great Wall is a prime example of why movie studios are happier to churn out the same old thing over and over again. It tries something new, in this case an epic Chinese set period monster flick, and we should applaud this endeavour. The problem is that it fails to grasp the true focus of the viewer.

 

Even in China, the film is considered to be a flop, even though – apart from three or four roles – the cast is made up entirely of Chinese actors and other talent.

 

The overuse of CGI – although we appreciate it would have been difficult to film this any other way – is clear and, on occasion, removes you from the narrative as the monster attacks occur.

 

The good news is that the rumoured whitewashing that tarred the film’s release is proven to be untrue as Damon plays a European, not a role meant for an Asian actor.

 

The bad news is that, although it the film has an interesting premise, its execution means that it doesn’t stick out enough for you to care, and that is its biggest failure.

 

It’s not bad, it’s just sadly forgettable.

 

THE GREAT WALL / CERT: 12A / DIRECTOR: YIMOU ZHANG / SCREENPLAY: CARLO BERNARD, DOUG MIRO, TONY GILROY / STARRING: MATT DAMON, PEDRO PASCAL, WILLEM DAFOE, TIAN JING / RELEASE DATE: 12TH JUNE

James V. Hart was responsible for writing one of the most affectionately remembered ‘What If?’ stories in 1991, Steven Spielberg’s Hook, as well as adapting Bram Stoker’s Dracula for Francis Ford Coppola’s 1992 film of the same name, on a more literate level than many of the previous adaptations from the likes of Hammer Films – and John Badham’s 1979 version for Universal, starring Frank Langella.

 

Filmed for television through Disney in 2001 and released on DVD, Jim Henson’s Jack And The Beanstalk – The Real Story provides another intriguing ‘What If?’ scenario, taking the classic fairy tale template, turning several key elements on their head, and utilising the best elements of Jim Henson’s Creature Shop, plus some nifty CGI effects and landscapes.

 

Jack Robinson (Matthew Modine) is a corporate executive who is developing a casino in England, but during the digging of the foundations, some mysterious bones are discovered and a freak lightning storm results in the injury of two employees. The development is halted and Robinson’s second-in-command, Mannheim (Jon Voight) reports of a law-suit.

 

One night during dinner, Jack is confronted by a mystery woman, Ondine (Mia Sara) posing as a journalist, who informs him that the bones hide a dark secret of his ancestors – and a tale of a beanstalk, golden eggs, and a world above the clouds…..

 

You may be familiar with the tale of Jack And The Beanstalk and you might go into this with reservations, but by the end of it, you may well be enchanted as this writer was by an inventive, witty and visually stunning fantasy that flips the well-loved elements into a comment on greed and human growth.

 

Matthew Modine is suitably cast as the bemused executive who lost his father at a young age and is trying to find an answer to the predicament he finds himself in. He is backed up by a great supporting cast with the likes of Vanessa Redgrave, Sara, Voight, James Corden, and Richard Attenborough (in one of his last screen performances) amongst others.

 

For parents who are introducing their children to the joys of fairy tales, it will provide thought-provoking storytelling and an interesting perspective which will not detract from the enjoyment of the narrative. Fairy tales are dark morality tales which, as children, we embrace in a simple idea of good vs evil. Here, the so-called villains are given a humanity and a depth of characterisation and if you have forgotten the joys of reading these stories, you might just want to revisit them, whatever your age.

 

It’s a shame this only made it to the small-screen, as Jack And The Beanstalk is a very clever fusion of fantasy and effects that would rival Fellowship Of The Ring which was released around the time this premiered and would have added choice to cinemagoers.

 

JIM HENSON’S JACK AND THE BEANSTALK – THE REAL STORY (2001) / CERT: PG / DIRECTOR: BRIAN HENSON / SCREENPLAY: JAMES V. HART, BRIAN HENSON, BILL BARRETTE / STARRING: MATTHEW MODINE, MIA SARA, VANESSA REDGRAVE, SARA, JON VOIGHT, JAMES CORDEN, RICHARD ATTENBOROUGH / RELEASE DATE: 12TH JUNE

It may well be safe to say that it is not wrong to pick up girls in a dungeon because in the city of Orario it’s somewhat a right of passage, though a very dangerous one. Based on the popular Manga series of the same title, the story evolves around a huge labyrinth which homes many monsters of various sizes and sits underneath the city of Orario. The further down the Labyrinth you go, the more hideous and dangerous these monsters get. In order to keep the city above safe there are many adventuring heroes among the city who train to fight these monsters. With each defeat the adventurer may collect crystals that can be used to make various magical items or be exchanged for currency. There are groups within the city known as Familia. Each one is named after and serves a deity, they also serve the city with different skill sets. It’s very much like a fantasy role playing game such as Dungeons and Dragons, the more experience the adventurer gets the higher level they become starting at level one.

The show introduces the young novice protagonist Bell Cranel. He sets out on his first real adventure in the Dungeon to fight a level one monster but it doesn’t quite go to plan. Fortunately for him, an experienced and beautiful swordswoman, Aiz Wallenstein, discovers him and saves him. Bell being a typical teenage boy he becomes besotted by her but can’t seem to gather the courage to speak to her. After his hard work training and fighting he goes home to his deity, Hestia, who definitely has a thing for him. Hestia can’t hint enough her feelings towards the oblivious boy thus hilarious, cute and awkward shenanigans begin. They aren’t the only women who become a part of Bell’s life either. All this whilst Bell tirelessly strives to be a great adventurer.

The show definitely attempts to play to fan service but not to the ridiculous extent. Whilst there are still a lot of boobs, for those looking for more that jiggle in all the wrong places, you may need to look elsewhere. Here they deliver a balance of cute and sexy romance with a little action in between. It’s a light hearted, colorful story and though the characters are very generic they are still fun to watch. With such an interesting concept however it would have been nice to explore these characters with a little more depth, as there isn’t a great sense of care or empathy for a lot of the characters, perhaps it’s because a lot of them are gods or amazing adventurers too cool to show who they really are. The monsters are portrayed really well, they all look the part and can appear pretty threatening which adds a bit more suspense to the story. The show gets a little deeper and serious as Bell becomes a more experienced adventurer, though he is still just as silly and awkward, a reflection of the entire series and it’s title.

Special features: Choice of English subtitles or voice over / Opening and closing sequence /Trailers from Sentai Filmworks

IS IT WRONG TO TRY TO PICK UP GIRLS IN A DUNGEON? SEASON 1 / CERT: 15 / DIRECTOR: YOSHIKI YAMAKAWA / WRITERS: VARIOUS / STARRING: YOSHITSUGU MATSUOKA, INORI MINASE, SAORI OONISHI / RELEASE DATE: 12TH JUNE

In a career as fragmented as the mind of Split‘s central character, writer/director M. Night Shyamalan has gone from being hailed as the new Spielberg with his breakthrough films The Sixth Sense and Unbreakable to being shot to flames for disasters like The Last Airbender and The Happening. Split has now become one of his biggest successes, both commercially and critically. Is it the return to form we have been led to believe it is?

Well, you can breathe a big sigh of relief because the short answer is a resounding ‘yes’.

Split is great fun. It’s thrilling, frightening, threatening and tense, with enough scares and smarts to keep you on your seat’s edge and guessing right to the end. And it has a GREAT final moment – not really one of Shyamalan’s famous clever twists, more a delightfully playful and unexpected surprise.

Things get off to a bold start with little preamble, as three girls are kidnapped and held prisoner by Kevin, a man who is strange in more ways than one. Many more. About 23 more to be exact, as Kevin has multiple personality disorder. Locked up and terrified, the young girls fear the worst but react to their situation in different ways, the two close friends encouraging outsider Casey to join them in attempts to harm Kevin or escape.

Casey’s life experiences though, as told in disturbing flashbacks, have prepared her for a different approach and the lessons she learnt as the child of a keen hunter start to give her an advantage over her friends. But what becomes quickly apparent is that Kevin isn’t the only person inside his body. There’s Hedwig, a little boy, there’s posh Patricia, but only Kevin allows them their time ‘in the light’ .Once the girls are separated, it is Casey’s ability to play one internal character off another which gives her any means of finding an escape.

Meanwhile, Kevin’s visits to his long term psychiatrist reveal that a 24th character, as yet unseen, is coming. And it’s called The Beast…

Split has two main settings. One is the office of Kevin’s analyst, whilst the other is the underground lair where the girls are kept. With such confines, a snappy script and tense direction matter but, most of all, it’s the acting which needs to engage. And engage it does. Proving that the brilliant performance she gave in The Witch wasn’t a one off, Anya Taylor-Joy makes the initially awkward Casey a fantastic central figure, a former victim who isn’t going to take it any more. And it’s wonderful to see Broadway star (and the original Carrie‘s sympathetic teacher) Betty Buckley back on the big screen. But there’s just no getting away from the absolute genius of James McAvoy’s performance here. It’s quite astonishing how quickly he manages to convey Kevin’s different personas. At one point he plays one character pretending to be Kevin to throw his analyst of the scent and it’s such a brilliant piece of subtle acting that we know it’s happening without knowing how we know. It’s awards worthy.

If the last act veers a little too much towards horror, we can forgive it, so much fun has been had along the way. Plus, that final scene is a fanboy’s wet dream… no matter how much it splits the audience.

SPLIT / CERT: 15 / DIRECTOR & SCREENPLAY: M. NIGHT SHYAMALAN / STARRING: JAMES MCAVOY, ANYA TAYLOR-JOY, BETTY BUCKLEY, HALEY LU RICHARDSON, JESSICA SULA / RELEASE DATE: 5TH JUNE

Well…One can only hope that this is the last chapter. If you thought both the Underworld and xXx franchises were running on fumes, then you’ve seen nothing yet as the Resident Evil series reaches its sixth and (hopefully) final instalment. The Resident Evil video games are some of the best survival horror games ever made and brilliantly inventive and creative with their characters, stories and situations, which is a shame that hack-director Paul W. S. Anderson had to go and cause chaos with his movie “adaptations” since 2002, with each one getting progressively worse and worse, so you can probably tell where this one ranks in terms of worse to “best”. In fact, not only is this the worst in the franchise or the worst video game movie to date, but also quite possibly one of the worst movies ever made.

 

Everything in the movie fails across the board, and even though the previous movies established lore, it keeps getting ignored or retconned as they go along and this movie completely ignores all the important lore and backstory, as if Anderson was deliberately ignoring all the criticism and feedback he received. They even sideline Shawn Roberts’ Wesker in favour of resurrecting Iain Glen’s Dr. Isaacs due to Glen’s Game of Thrones popularity. Oh, and enough with the clones already! There are more holes in this plot than there are in many Swiss cheeses and logic is completely thrown out the window in favour of a something that has no signs of a plot or story structure in its body and even the action is completely devoid of tension.

 

The combination of cinematography and editing are utter garbage; everything looks dull and bland thanks to its pukey-brown/blue colour tint, whilst the editing is some of the worst seen in a movie yet. The film is incredibly littered with jump-cuts that you literally can’t take a breath or concentrate on what you are looking at, and add on to that the innocuous shaky-cam during the action sequences, it creates an uncomfortable movie-viewing experience. Occasionally, during the action sequences you don’t notice its horrific editing, but that’s only because some of those scenes are shot in complete darkness so you can’t see what’s happening and the muzzle-flashes will just leave you blinded and sick to your stomach. Plus, having random jump-scares doesn’t make it scary in any way possible.

 

Just as bad is the CGI, which looks even worse than the CGI seen in the likes of Gods of Egypt or the last Divergent movie and makes the graphics in a PS1/PS2 game look state-of-the-art. The music is generic filler action music that you’d skip over on a soundtrack, which is a shame considering that some of the music in previous movies had some solid tracks thanks to the likes of Marilyn Manson or tomandandy. As far as the acting talent is concerned, everyone frankly looks as though they have all just stopped caring and just want to collect their pay cheques and call it a day. It’s a real shame that Milla Jovovich went from being such a promising rising talent in The Fifth Element to just being a prisoner of her own husband’s movies.

 

In the end, it’s truly astonishing just how lazy and manipulative the filmmaking in this movie is, as if nobody cared or even bothered to put in any real effort. This could potentially be the final nail in the coffin for Paul W. S. Anderson’s career as a director, and any shred of talent they may have had in the previous movies is completely discarded, which only results in the worst instalment of a drawn-out, mediocre franchise that should’ve ended a long time ago. It really will be hard to find a film worse than this in 2017 since this is right down there with the equally abominable Fifty Shades Darker in terms of how much can something truly stink more than a very stinky thing indeed.

 

RESIDENT EVIL: THE FINAL CHAPTER / CERT: 15 / DIRECTOR & SCREENPLAY: PAUL W. S. ANDERSON / STARRING: MILLA JOVOVICH, ALI LARTER, SHAWN ROBERTS, RUBY ROSE / RELEASE DATE: 12TH JUNE