It’s fair to say that from the beginning of Ted 2, when the opening credits stop the film dead for three minutes of a big musical number, we realised we weren’t going to get along with it. Sadly, this did indeed not bode well for the rest of the film, as it stops for musical or drug-related interludes about three or four times.
Actually, we should be grateful that it spends time away from the ‘subtleties’ of the main plot. Here’s a question for you: have you seen the excellent Star Trek: The Next Generation episode ‘The Measure of a Man’ about Data’s struggle to be recognised as a person? You have? Then you’ve already seen this movie. Let’s consider a follow-up question, for those who haven’t watched that fine hour of television. Have you seen literally any buddy movie? Then, again, you’ve essentially seen Ted 2. This is a film completely devoid of any originality.
But it’s a comedy, the plot isn’t important, you say. That is true, but there’s a difference between having an excuse of a plot and adhering rigidly to a precisely timed movie template (the third act’s coming around? Must be time for a completely arbitrary argument designed to separate the two leads). It’s just insulting and isn’t good enough in this day and age.
For what it’s worth, there are some genuine laughs in there. But there was just so much that we didn’t like. The unnecessary fight at Comic-Con, the endless cameos (what exactly was the point of Liam Neeson’s cameo? Answers on a postcard) and the truly horrendous life advice (babies do not repair an already-broken marriage).
There’s a whole spiel in the film about how so many people end up on the wrong side of history. You can laugh at the dumb jokes but if you try and defend this as a good movie then that’s where you lose us. Consider where your money is going. Please, don’t end up on the wrong side of history.
INFO: TED 2 / CERT: 18 / DIRECTOR: SETH MACFARLANE / SCREENPLAY: SETH MACFARLANE, ALEC SULKIN, WELLESLEY WILD / STARRINGL: MARK WAHLBERG, SETH MACFARLANE, AMANDA SEYFRIED, JESSICA BARTH, MORGAN FREEMAN / RELEASE DATE: JULY 8TH
