A bunch of tattoo-covered special forces grunts are in the middle of a covert operation – the first ten minutes or so of Osiris consist of one endless, deafening gun battle – when a huge spacecraft appears in the sky and they are all transported into its hold. Here they are attacked almost immediately – cue another deafening gun battle – by ruthless aliens. Then there’s another gun battle. Then they meet a few other abductees who have been on board the ship for some time. Then there’s another gun battle. Repeat and rinse for 100-odd minutes.
Osiris isn’t actually a bad movie, but dear god, it’s loud. Surprisingly generously budgeted (around $6 million), much of the film has clearly been filmed in a huge warehouse – one long gun battle takes place in some part of the spaceship inexplicably filled with huge container crates (many of which have suspiciously Earth-like symbols and numbers on them). It’s a tough, industrial-looking setting that generally manages to give the impression of an intergalactic battleship with its harshly lit corridors, potentially lethal circular-opening doorways, and that old sci-fi standby, the ventilation shaft.
Despite the appearance of Linda Hamilton (for twenty minutes) as a grizzled abductee surviving in the bowels of the ship with her daughter (Deadpool‘s Brianna Hildebrand), this is a testosterone-powered affair full of big beardy blokes shouting, swearing and shooting – did we mention the gun battles? – that’s about as subtle as a roundhouse punch to the gut.
But Osiris is actually fitfully entertaining in a relentlessly, occasionally exhausting fashion. The endless gunfights are well staged and the alien design, a fairly generic armoured lizard/Predator biped stereotype, does the job of meeting the demands of the story. They have an armoury of visually pleasing gizmos, particularly the glowing translucent shields they call up to fend off the tide of bullets flung at them by the angry, confused (but clearly ammunition-heavy) soldiers. The VFX are generally better than we might expect for this sort of movie (the final scene is especially well rendered) and writer-director William Kaufman has brought his very specific vision to the screen with a style unusual (and more often unachievable) for low-budget genre fare.
There are a few flaccid attempts at character development in a couple of blissfully welcome quiet moments, but ultimately this is an action sci-fi movie first and foremost. If you’re in the mood for some utterly undemanding blazing gun-crazed nonsense, then Osiris will hit your sweet spot. Just remember to have some ear plugs at hand…
OSIRIS is released in US cinemas and on-demand on July 25th; a UK Blu-ray release is coming September 1st.
