Agnes Applewhite (Lauren Kitchen) lives with her overbearing mother (Brooklyn Woods) and snarky sister (Harlie Madison) and, despite her mother’s objections, takes a job as a shampoo girl at a beauty salon. Being around the colourful characters at work gives her new confidence and even an opportunity to go on a date. Unfortunately, she suffers from debilitating menstrual cramps that manifest into nasty Blob-like creatures that envelop those around her. Things come to a head when the salon enters a competition against their bitter rivals.
Writer-director Brooke H. Cellars has crafted a bad taste picture that has a big heart. Set in a time that’s undetermined (giving a dual meaning to the title), it plays as both a love letter to the world of John Waters, the lavish visuals of Mario Bava, and the power of non-conformity and being an ‘outsider’. Agnes’ dearest confidant is a mannequin, and her menstrual problems become an extension of her anxiety and maternal oppression. The visceral horror opens proceedings with a graphic depiction of Agnes’ insides being torn apart. The attacks on other people take their time to arrive, and when they do, they’re still secondary to the horror of Agnes’ home life and her struggles with her body. Lauren Kitchen depicts Agnes as a likable character, and the most relatable of those who make up the campfest of the rest of the cast.
The visual style is that of a ‘70s grindhouse picture, and shooting on 35mm really elevates it above its lower budget. And while the comedy doesn’t land all the time (at least to this writer), the satire makes its point loud and clear.
THE CRAMPS: A PERIOD PIECE screened at Fantastic Fest 2025.
