Review Category: VOD

PREY / CERT: 15/ DIRECTOR: FRANCK KHALFOUN / SCREENPLAY: DAVID COGGESHALL, FRANCK KHALFOUN / STARRING: LOGAN MILLER, KRISTINE FROSETH, JOLENE ANDERSON, JERRICA LAI / RELEASE DATE: OUT NOW (VOD), NOVEMBER 4TH (DVD)

For all its success with low budget/high reward horror films, once every blue moon Blumhouse buries a title in the depths of on-demand. It happened to Prey, a flavorless flick likely pitched as ‘Castaway with ghosts’.

The plot seems straight from Mad Libs: following the violent death of his father and undetermined behavioral issues, Toby (Miller, Escape Room) is forced to join a youth program that culminates with three days of solitude in a deserted island in Malaysia. Toby has no discernible survival skills and everything that could go wrong, does. To no one surprise, turns out the boy is not alone. A perfectly groomed teenager named Madelaine (Froseth) appears out of nowhere and shows Toby the ropes to survive in the island. Unfortunately for the allegedly troubled teen (we get no indication of this), whenever he’s alone, a creature stalks him from behind the bushes.

There is a kernel of a good idea here – nature doesn’t care about your feelings – but is barely explored. Instead we get a millennial Blue Lagoon with mild scares and aloofness. The biggest problem is the lead. The Toby character is terribly bland and Logan Miller’s performance doesn’t add any discernible flavor to it. Miller has been better in the past (he was truly obnoxious as the main antagonist in Love, Simon), but here comes across as a sidekick to no one.

Director Franck Khalfoun, a filmmaker better known for the dismal box office performance of his movies (Amityville: The Awakening made $742 on his opening day in USA), is competent enough to keep the movie from fully sinking. Make it interesting, that’s a different story: At 84 minutes, Prey feels long and meandering. When the protagonist is boring and the script lacks ideas, one roots for the monster to put the characters out of their misery, and by extension, the viewers.

HARPOON / CERT: 18 / DIRECTOR & SCREENPLAY: ROB GRANT / STARRING: MUNRO CHAMBERS, EMILY TYRA, CHRISTOPHER GRAY / RELEASE: OUT NOW 

Three American twentysomethings stuck in a dysfunctional ménage à trois head out on a day-trip into the open sea, aboard the luxury powerboat owned by the father of one of the group. Spoilt jock Richard is attempting to make reparations for a brutal physical assault on his slacker friend Jonah who he accused of sleeping with long-suffering girlfriend Sasha. Once the trio is far from shore, relations between the three begin to unravel in the most alarming of ways, as any hope that all three of them will make it back to the marina alive sinks without trace.

Harpoon is a properly, deliciously dark indie horror-comedy, infused with an atmosphere that flips between the gory, the playful and the super-serious with such confidence that the tonal shift never feels arbitrary or forced. The interplay between the three characters (the only ones seen on screen, aside from those featuring in the brief flashbacks) is driven through a series of unpredictable turns which make it enjoyably impossible to guess which direction the story is ultimately headed in.

It’s difficult to review any of the many set-pieces and character explosions that punctuate the film without spoiling the fun of seeing the crewmates’ predicament unfold. As conditions aboard ship worsen, and supplies run short, the three are increasingly confronted by the pressures of the infamous ‘lifeboat dilemma’.

The entire film pivots on the believability of the relationships between these three protagonists. There’s great texture to the corrosion of each two-way relationship, as the drama burns through layers of deceit and deception to reveal long hidden truths, and the personal dynamic pitches between warm, reckless, cruel and downright hostile. The script is lit up with some great dialogue and some terrific super-dark gags as each of the trio is put through the physical and emotional wringer.

Christopher Gray is great as the dogged but impulsive alpha-male Richard. Emily Tyra brings out Sasha’s understandable exasperation at what she’s forced to put up with from the men in her life. But it’s Munro Chambers as the uptight, geeky Jonah who, in exploring the cauldron of emotions, frustrations, and insecurities lurking beneath his emo-grunge exterior, puts in the strongest performance of the three (he does have by far the best part to work with, to be fair).

The cinematography on Harpoon is on point throughout, making the most of the openness of the vast expanse of sea surrounding the boat; the vessel’s total isolation from the populated shipping lanes; and the cramped and claustrophobic quarters below deck in which tensions repeatedly erupt. As it does so, it channels some of the same cinematic energies as the 1989 Australian psychological thriller Dead Calm.

It’s not flawless. There are moments when the pace loiters; on occasion ‘naturalism’ and ‘hyper-realism’ get collapsed into one another, so that it’s hard to make sense of the characters’ reactions to events; and the narrator’s voice should be a more consistent presence than it is. But for the most part, this is hugely entertaining, clever, and confident filmmaking, showing just how well an indie-aesthetic can bring to life what feels like a ‘no compromise’ reading of an excitingly original script.

With its full-on gore moments and its uncomfortable premise, Harpoon will be too near-the-knuckle for some who might otherwise enjoy its ludicrously pitch-black comedic sensibilities. But those who can stomach the blood-letting are likely to cheer this inventive foray into high-stakes, high-jinks on the high seas: not least because of its determination to hold its nerve right up until the moment the closing credits roll.

ARMAGEDDON GOSPELS / CERT: TBC / DIRECTOR & SCREENPLAY: JOHN HARRIGAN / STARRING: KATE ALDERTON, MILO CRADICK, FINN HARRIGAN, JOHN HARRIGAN, SABRINA RODRIGUEZ / RELEASE DATE: OCTOBER 31ST (APPLE TV)

Folk horror is back in a big way, and it’s fantastic to see low budget filmmakers embracing the subgenre with thought-provoking and entertaining movies such as Armageddon Gospels.

A group of forgotten Arcadian gods have washed ashore with a mission: to find the Holy Grail and restore order to Albion. As they begin a trek across country, they come into contact with forces that plan to scupper their quest, as well as conflict between each other.

During their journey, the refuge gods meet icons of past British values, beliefs, and traditions and the interpretations are simple but mesmerising. As an allegory for things happening in the world today, particularly in the UK with Brexit and the reasons some people had for voting out, Armageddon Gospels works perfectly. It’s also a very entertaining and atmospheric fantasy for those who don’t want to look into deeper meanings. There’s an ethereal feel to almost every shot. The British landscape is perfectly captured in all its beauty – the filmmakers clearly making the most of nicer weather – but seeming alien at the same time. There are some truly haunting images among the beauty, though. As simple as the costume is, the Hare is as potent as anything in The Wicker Man. The naturally folk-tinged score by Jo Burke sets the perfect mood and evokes the feel of that aforementioned film yet works on its own terms.

Perhaps not as accessible as other folk horror tales, Armageddon Gospels is a worthy and well-made movie that rises above its humble budget and will no doubt develop a cult following with alternative groups. Its message is powerful and it’s a shame it’ll be lost on the people who need to hear it the most.

AIRPLANE MODE / CERT: 18 / DIRECTORS: DAVID DINETZ, DYLAN TRUSSELL / SCREENPLAY: DAVID DINETZ, DYLAN TRUSSELL, LOGAN PAUL, JAKE PAUL / STARRING: LOGAN PAUL, CHLOE BRIDGES, NICK BATEMAN, JAKE PAUL, MIKAELA HOOVER / RELEASE DATE: OCTOBER 14TH

We suppose it had to happen at some point. A film packed with nothing but YouTube ‘stars’. Fortunately, this updating of classic wacko comedy Airplane! gives the narcissistic self-made celebrities a chance to goof off and poke a little fun at their existence.

Full disclosure: we had no clue who most of these people were before watching and had only actually heard of Logan Paul, but in fairness, they don’t do a bad job of being entertaining in what is essentially a re-run of the Abrahams/Zuckers’ film crossed with American Pie.

Not that the plot matters, but a group of YouTubers set off for a convention in Australia. Logan Paul’s afraid of flying, but is desperate to meet his online girlfriend, while his ‘foreign exchange’ brother just wants to pop his cherry. If you’re expecting high-brow humour, you’ll be greatly disappointed. Mid-air, the social media obsessed pack refuse to adhere to the command to switch their phones to airplane mode, causing a malfunction and the deaths of the pilots. And a serial prankster, being extradited by the US government, has escaped his binds and is running riot.

As much as it pains us to say it, this isn’t as bad as it could have been. Some gags land better than others, but there’s a startling amount of sexist, racist, homophobic, and downright sleaze amongst the ‘jokes’. All involved seem to be enjoying it, which does it more favours than you’d think. Some of the more outrageous jokes are at the expense of the stars themselves, and there’s even some political satire, particularly during the airport security sequence. It’s telling, though, that the ‘stars’ still don’t really come across as likeable. It’s odd that since most of the audience of for YouTubers are teens that they choose to include wall-to-wall sex references – evidenced by the film’s certificate. We’re not talking Carry On-style innuendo, this is hardcore.

A number of surreal moments are worth watching out for, especially the termites and flashback to Paul’s first attempt at flying. If you like your humour at a base level, you’ll probably get a lot out of this. If you’re of a certain age and don’t have a clue about any of these folk, it might be best watching the 1980 film instead.