Review: A Thousand Kisses Deep (15) / Director: Dana Lustig / Screenplay: Alex Kustanovich, Vladim Moldovan / Starring: Dougray Scott, Jodie Whittaker, David Warner, Amelia Fox / Release Date: June 15^th

Mia (Jodie Whittaker, Attack the Block) witnesses one of the neighbours from her apartment building commit suicide by jumping from a high window in a shower of photos and memories. Realising that she didn’t know the elderly woman at all, Mia makes the decision to take a look around the neighbour’s apartment where she unexpectedly discovers many of her own possessions and photographs – including one of her ex-boyfriend, jazz-playing Ludwig (Dougray Scott). Deeply unsettled by this, she speaks to the building’s caretaker, Max (David Warner) who explains that the lift in the building is, in fact, a time machine. It seems that the death Mia saw was her own. Using the time-traveling lift, she sets upon the task of investigating her own life, with the intention of fixing whatever it is that has gone wrong.

The premise is based around basic psychoanalysis, which is an interesting concept to apply to a time-travel film and creates a good dramatic arc. Mia goes on a voyage back through her life to discover how she could potentially end up as the suicidal old woman. Of course, to fit into the nice neat film plot, this device proves to be far simpler than it would be for anyone in the real world. She discovers that the problem is basically the destructive relationship she has with Ludwig, and sets about trying to find the roots of this one core problem. It does feel that the idea could have been used to create a much more complex tale which looked much deeper into the psyche of Mia, although that would have ended with a much heavier film than A Thousand Kisses Deep.

Most of the film is then taken up by traveling back to different points in her life and discovering how this relationship has damaged her. ‘Current’ Mia still finds it impossible to stand-up to Ludwig, or to resist his charms. This relationship goes from exciting to terrifying and creates some real tension throughout the film.

The performances are great. Jodie Whittaker’s nice-but-vulnerable Mia is the type of character that she excels at, but does feel a little two-dimensional in such an analytical film. The real stand-out is Dougray Scott as Ludwig, and he’ll be getting a great deal of praise for the role. Ludwig is clearly selfish and harmful, but with so much charisma and depth that it is easy to see why Mia would find him so easy to fall for.

The use of music – specifically jazz – works well. It has such a timeless, romantic quality that it underpins what is happening on screen and with the characters. It also helps to fit the film together as we are jumping back and forth through time.

There are a couple of clunkier parts to the story, such as the initial info-dump explaining the time-travel device, but overall director Dana Lustig has a well crafted and at times very unsettling time-travel thriller. A great concept gives some unusual depth to the tired time-travel plot device, but would have benefitted from having more time to explore the character of Mia.

Expected: 6

Actual:

Review: Battleship (12A) / Director: Peter Berg / Screenplay: Erich Hoeber, Jon Hoeber / Starring: Taylor Kitsch, Alexander Skarsgard, Liam Neeson, Brooklyn Decker, Rihanna / Release Date: April 11th

Actor turned director Peter Berg has made some solid mid budget films. Amongst them Welcome to the Jungle and Very Bad Things. When word came down the pipe that Berg was directing a film based on the timeless board game Battleship, I kind of hoped for the best. Sadly Berg decided to forget his solid dependable style and channel Michael Bay. For all their faults Transformers and GI Joe are based on toy lines that actually have a mythology and a back story, they have things on which to build a motion picture. This film shoehorns in a couple of references to the game but ultimately Battleship has none of these and boy does it show in the worst film of 2012 so far.

The film begins with the authorities discovering a planet much like Earth in our solar system and sending a radio signal which is represented by a gigantic laser beam fired off into the cosmos. We then meet aimless loser Hopper (Taylor Kitsch) going to absurd lengths to pull the daughter of a US admiral (Liam Neeson) and getting in trouble doing so. His brother Stone Hopper (Alexander Skaarsgard, and yes that’s the character’s name) has had enough and forces younger Hopper to join the US navy. What follows is some of the best recruitment footage the US Navy could have hoped for. The message seems to be that if you join the US navy there is nothing but sun drenched parades, tasty admiral daughters, football games and grunts that look like Rihanna (who is awful by the way). Hopper is an idiot and even he makes lieutenant and you can too! Battleship even includes rock scored montages of the amputees injured in battle that now hang around in Hawaii and look well cool with their prosthetic limbs. The navy fleet go off into the sea on an annual training exercise and Hopper is about to get thrown out due to his irresponsible ways. All that changes when an alien invasion takes place. The aliens decide to launch their attack from the sea, possibly responding to the rude humans who fired a laser at them as a means of first contact. Most of the fleet is wiped out and of course Hopper has to man up and take the alien threat down with his dwindling crew.

Battleship could have been great if it had been scaled back into a sweaty tense movie based on one ship and had actual writers who understood dialogue, motivation and plot. Instead Battleship presents us with a race of aliens with illogical motivations and baffling technology all launched just to provide the audience with endless explosions and special effects. If you thought water and the flu were flimsy methods of defeating aliens, you are in for a real treat with the alien weakness here.

Poor Taylor Kitsch, he tries his best and has a sort of likeable laid back charm but he is saddled with some of the most cringe worthy dialogue ever written. The character is so dumb that he just becomes a bore and all sympathy evaporates. Battleship makes John Carter look like Lawrence of Arabia. Everyone else in the cast just looks either embarrassed or clueless. When the audience laughs more at the dramatic scenes than they did through the whole of 21 Jump Street then you know you are in trouble.

There is a camp turn of events in the final act which beggars belief and is the most hilarious thing I have seen for a while, for this scene alone it’s almost worth seeing. However it’s too insulting to its audience to really rise above the awfulness and be so bad it’s good.

If this makes money, the history books will look back on this as the turning point where it all went wrong for Hollywood. We will finally be rewarded with that Lego and Ker-Plunk movie. Please vote with your feet and do not see this, you and all of us who like film deserve better.

Expected Rating: 6 out of 10

Actual Rating:

Review: Himizu (TBC) / Director: Shion Sono / Screenplay: Shion Sono / Starring: Shota Sometani, Fumi Nikaido, Tetsu Watanabe  / Release Date: June 1^st

Himizu is Director Shion Sono’s reaction to the Japanese earthquake and tsunami of 2011. Devastating landscapes, psychological tension and a regnant rumble take over your senses. Not as brutal as Cold Fish or as long as Love Exposure, but affecting and powerful cinema that captures the confusion of disaster and the anger of the aftermath. Sono takes Minoru Furuya’s manga novel and shifts the setting to Fukushima to create a tense and moving portrayal full of darkness.

Keiko (Fumi Nikaido) is a fourteen year old girl obsessed with Yuichi (Shota Sometani), in fact she is self admittedly his stalker. She collects his words and wallpapers her room with them, repeating them like a prayer and getting overexcited at spending any time with him. Yuichi is going through troubling times, his mother has left, leaving him to run the family business and his drunken father has run up debts with the yakuza which he must repay.  Life is a little overbearing to say the least. With his parents gone, Yuichi is helped by another family of sorts, a mixed group who live on his land in tents due to displacement after the tsunami.

The relationship between Keiko and Yuichi is one full of humour, fraught emotions and curiously unexpected moments of madness. They constantly slap each other in a haiku inspired game created by Keiko and what starts as funny leads to something a little darker as Yuichi takes his repressed anger out on his admirer. Yuichi is on a path of destruction, as he keeps being pushed closer to the edge and it all ends in disaster. Both the performers excel at portraying damaged youth. Nikaido delivers hysterical outbursts with flair, whilst Sometani’s portrait of an adolescent on the edge reaches dark and palpitating places.

Sono delivers it all in a melodramatic fashion in fitting with the subject matter. Dramatic and moving classical music, that although slightly uninspired, certainly adds to the melancholy and building unease. The disaster is haunting these characters constantly and with the use of sound and powerful imagery (especially prevalent in a dream sequence that is shot on location in Fukushima) Sono presents a crushingly real reaction to the events in Japan of March 2011. His empathy for the people affected by the disaster and the importance of marking and mourning this tragedy are clear.

An elegy that delivers moments of calm and waves of violence that hit you unexpectedly and repetitively. A bleak but tender portrayal of youth and the all-encompassing nature of grief; it ends on a hopeful note, advising the audience not to give up.

Himizu is showing at the Terracotta Far East Film Festival on 15^th April and released in the UK on 1^st June.

Expected: 8

Actual:

Review: Mirror Mirror – The Untold Adventures of Snow White (PG) / Director: Tarsem Singh / Screenplay: Melissa Wallack, Jason Keller / Starring: Lilly Collins, Julia Roberts, Armie Hammer, Nathan Lane / Release Date: April 2nd

On first inspection an audience would be forgiven for thinking this is a Julia Roberts vehicle; it isn’t. Tarsem Singh’s Snow White interpretation is a refreshingly sweet and saucy version of the tale. The set pieces and costume are extravagant and creative. Singh approaches the tale with a certain amount of humour and a spoon full of silliness that works in its favour. Although there is a good amount of darkness, it mostly veers to the brighter side.

Singh is aiming for an innocent but smart female hero in Snow White, attempting to turn the usual fairy-tale on its head. Instead of a prince saving a princess, the heroine decides to take the initiative and save herself.  At one point she even battles her own prince.  There is a little too much of the wicked Queen’s (Julia Roberts) story, considering this film proclaims to tell the untold adventures of Snow White, and more screen time should have been given to Lily Collins’ Snow who is endearing and spot on in her role.

The dwarves are reminiscent of Terry Gilliam’s Time Bandits as a bunch of thieves who hold up stage coaches and rob the rich for their own gain. They offer a lot of the humour, with some exquisite slapstick and quick quips, but at times, some of the dialogue is trying too hard to be funny.

Armie Hammer excels in his role as an arrogant prince with a heart of gold who falls for Snow White. He puts his usual amount of charm and freshness into the role and the romance between the two develops nicely.  Shifting from instant attraction to confused rivalry works well after Snow joins the band of dwarves. Silly antics and a montage sequence showcasing the fighting skills Snow learns makes absolutely no sense in the time frame of the rest of the story, but is still quite a lot of fun to watch.

Tarsem (as he is referred to in the closing credits) brought the opulent looking The Fall and The Cell to the screen and as expected Mirror Mirror looks suitably lovely most of the way through. Although a CGI monstrosity does come to life in the last third that is totally out of place in this otherwise lavishly beautiful film. Tarsem’s artistic vision and the worlds he creates are inspired and worth watching on the big screen. The film also loses pace in the last act, but a surprisingly upbeat song and dance sequence plays over the credits, and watching Armie Hammer awkwardly trying to bust a groove is pretty funny.

An entertaining and delightful spin on the fairy-tale that should have been trimmed for better pacing.

Expected Rating: 6 out of 10

Actual Rating:

Review: Wrath of the Titans (12A) / Director: Jonathan Leibesman / Screenplay: Dan Mazeau, David Johnson / Starring: Sam Worthington, Liam Neeson, Ralph Fiennes, Edgar Ramirez, Toby Kebbell, Rosamund Pike, Bill Nighy / Release Date: March 30th 

We think it’s fair to say that Louis Leterrier’s 2010 interpretation of Clash of the Titans was one of the most derided blockbusters in recent memory. Acting, characterisation and plot took a backseat to endless monsters, a wooden Sam Worthington and some shoddy post converted 3D which singlehandedly kick started the 3D backlash. For the sequel the producers have addressed these concerns somewhat and made something fairly entertaining and thrilling.

We pick up some years after the events in the first movie and find demigod Perseus (Sam Worthington) now widowed and living in a fishing village with his son. The god’s power is fading due to people’s lack of faith and prayer. Zeus (Liam Neeson) shows up to ask for Perseus’ help as the walls of the underworld Tartarus are failing and they threaten to unleash Kronos; the father of all gods who has been imprisoned down there since the world was created. Perseus refuses to help but when his village is attacked by monsters from below and Zeus is double crossed by Hades (Ralph Fiennes) and his treacherous other ‘pure god’ son Ares (Edgar Ramirez), Perseus must team up with warrior queen Andromeda (Rosamund Pike) and his thief cousin and son of Poseidon, Agenor (Toby Kebbell) to journey into the underworld to rescue Zeus and forge a weapon to hold back Kronos.

The first thing you notice about Wrath of the Titans is the 3D is miles better than the first movie. In fact it might be the most effective use of the format for a while. Things jump out at you and you find yourself flinching every time a rock flies off into the air. To match this the effects are better too, gone are the plasticky looking CG creations of the first movie to be replaced by organic, more realistic monsters and you never have the feeling that you’re watching a bunch of actors tumble around on a green soundstage. The film seems to have been designed with the sole purpose of being an experience to savour in 3D especially during the underworld scenes and the climactic battle and to their credit, it works.

Sadly, again where the film falls down is with its screenplay. It’s very much a case of getting from point A to point C picking up D on the way with a minimum of characterisation and development. There is a nice subplot about the soldiers with Perseus having to lose their faith even in the face of horrific danger because if they pray it will give power to Ares who is now their enemy, but this is never fully explored. There are also some woeful moments of deus ex machina to solve the problems that the characters face as well as Perseus’ general invincibility being a point of contention during the climax.

Sam Worthington won’t do anything here to change your mind on him, but the good news is he doesn’t even attempt an accent this time; he is pure Australian the whole way and seems more relaxed. Luckily new supporting characters played by Toby Kebbell and Bill Nighy bring some much needed humour and warmth that was sadly lacking in the first movie. Ralph Fiennes and Liam Neeson are also given more of an opportunity to shine this time with more of an arc than our main character.

It’s big, it’s loud and it’s proud, delivering everything it promised to in the trailer and the poster. See it on the biggest screen you can find.

Expected Rating: 4 out of 10

Actual Rating:

Review: The FP / Cert: TBC / Director(s): Brandon Trost, Jason Trost / Screenplay: Brandon Trost, Jason Trost / Starring: Jason Trost, Lee Valmassy, Art Hsu, Caker Folley, Nick Principle, Brandon Barrera / Release Date: (UK) TBC, (USA) Out Now

The Trost Brothers have created an action comedy that has a surreal dreamlike quality, a bizarre amalgamation of Streets of Fire set in the world of Escape From New York, mixed with the heart and soul of Rocky. The FP doesn’t take itself too seriously and that’s part of its charm.

In the near dystopian future, narrated by James Remar (from the classic film, The Warriors) rival streets gangs fight for control over the FP (Fraizer Park) by participating in the dance/fight video game, Beat-Beat Revolution. If the title sounds familiar, it is. It’s based on the arcade game, Dance Dance Revolution, though The Trost Brothers were unable to get the rights – a massive marketing faux pas on the creators’ behalf. Remember when M&M’s turned down Spielberg for E.T. and they used Reese’s Pieces instead? I think the guy who dropped the ball there now runs the night shift at a bowl alley.

Jason Troost plays JTRO, our Snake Plisskin-like hero, who witnesses the death of his brother, BTRO during a grueling dance-off against vicious gang leader, L Dubba E (complete with hairstyle inspired by Mr. T) as he cries, “Nooooooo, I’ll never play Beat-Beat Revolution again!”

A year later, we find JTRO in isolation as DJ, KCDC (a stand out performance by Art Hsu who played Johnny Vang in Crank 2: High Voltage) delivers bad news that the FP is now being run by L Dubba W and is in ruins. JTRO now must find the courage to return and restore order in a battle that can only leave one man… dancing.

The FP has an ’80s, Roger Corman drive-in movie feel to it and that’s what makes it entertaining. The characters are all interesting, including the minor ones, and there’s some hilarious, OTT dialogue throughout (“he wasn’t expecting the unexpected, but the unexpected was sure expecting him”). Troost brings a certain quality to the brooding JTRO audiences will like. Caker Folley as JTRO’s damaged, trailer trash love interest Stacey, as well as Nick Principe as spiritual guru and Dance Master BTL who trains JTRO for his big fight, also both turn out excellent performances.

Director, writer and cinematographer Brandon Trost (who was also the DP for the aforementioned Crank 2: High Voltage as well as Rob Zombie’s upcoming Lords of Salem) keeps the story active and his choice of lighting is impressive for many of the set pieces. Special mention also goes out to production designer Tyler B. Robinson who, with a shoestring budget, created fabulous sets, along with George Holdcroft for providing the excellent techno pop soundtrack.

The FP is a lot of fun and is sure to become a cult favourite.

Expected rating: 6 out of 10

Actual rating:

Review: The Hunger Games (12A) / Director: Gary Ross / Screenplay: Gary Ross, Suzanne Collins, Billy Ray / Starring: Jennifer Lawrence, Josh Hutcherson, Liam Hemsworth, Woody Harrelson, Stanley Tucci, Wes Bentley, Elizabeth Banks, Toby Jones / Release Date: March 23rd

When you are dealing with a much loved novel written in the first person you are inevitably going to suffer when it comes to some of the finer details. The Hunger Games trilogy is all written in the first person from the perspective of heroine Katniss Everdeen and as a result you see the world through her eyes and get some specific details with regards to feelings and events. The film version of the first book; The Hunger Games, loses some detail that make the ruling totalitarian regime an evil and sinister presence and also makes the central romance feel a little unbelievable. On the whole though it’s a successful first film in a franchise that deserves your attention and hardcore fans will be very happy.

In case you have been living under a rock, The Hunger Games takes place in a future United States which has been split into twelve districts under the command of the decadent ‘capitol’ Panem. The districts are made up of farming and mining communities that all toil to keep the capitol running. As a consequence of a civil war, once a year each district is made to give up two of its children between 12 and 18 to compete in a fight to the death which is televised for the nation. This is a means of reminding everyone who is in charge and keeping the populace under control. The film follows the 74th ‘Hunger Games’ as Katniss Everdeen (Jennifer Lawrence) volunteers in place of her younger sister and is thrust into the spotlight along with Peeta Mellark (Josh Hutcherson) who may or may not have feelings for Katniss.

The film version follows the first book faithfully but some of the more disturbing elements are excised. We get to see more of the goings on behind the scenes which involve President Snow (Donald Sutherland), ‘Gamemaker’ Seneca Crane (Wes Bentley) and former contestant and survivor Haymitch Abernathy (Woody Harrelson). By losing some of the details which we get from the first person perspective in the books, the story comes across more as reality TV gone mad type scenario and less about the cruelty of a dictatorship. By including more of the characters that are not featured prominently in the first book they cleverly manage to lay the groundwork and character detail for what is to come.

For a film that involves kids slaughtering each other, the violence is understandably toned down. You are spared some of the more brutal moments in the book and by not going into full on gore, Gary Ross has somehow managed to make the violence more disturbing. The opening of the games where the kids rush to get supplies and weapons whilst trying to avoid death is brilliantly done and is fast paced, filmed mostly on handheld cameras. The deaths are quick and sudden without showing blood and somehow it has greater impact.

Jennifer Lawrence is brilliant as usual and embodies the heroine that will get the nation’s sympathy effortlessly. Woody Harrelson is also perfect as the sad, drunken Haymitch, a character that has great depths which will be revealed in subsequent films. Josh Hutcherson and the lesser known performers who make up the contestants all rise to the challenge and come across as naturally scared or troubled young people in an awful situation.

Whilst it’s not quite the slam-dunk we hoped for, The Hunger Games is a great film which is brutal, heartbreaking and thrilling and sets the scene perfectly for what is to come.

Expected Rating: 10 out of 10

Actual Rating:

Review: Piggy (18) / Director: Kieron Hawkes / Screenplay: Keiron Hawkes / Starring: Martin Compston, Neil Maskell, Paul Anderson, Josh Herdman, Louise Dylan / Release Date: May 4th

I have the suspicion that the classification of Piggy, the new thriller by writer/director Kieron Hawkes, as a horror film may not be what production company DP Films quite had in mind. However, its depiction of social and moral breakdown set within the sprawling decay of inner city London is as unsettling and disturbing psychologically as anything larger film companies are currently producing under the banner of straight horror.

Joe (Martin Compston) is a shy and lonely young man who copes with his social inadequacies by hiding himself away in his dilapidated and ‘bohemian’ north London flat. The sudden appearance of his brother John (Neil Maskell), with whom he has always shared a close bond, starts to bring Joe out of himself as the two visit local pubs and generally do what men do. However, an altercation one night whilst Joe and John are out drinking with some friends results in John’s murder by a notorious gang leader and his ominous band of thugs.

Joe is again cast into a downward spiral of self-doubt and fear until a man calling himself ‘Piggy’ appears on his doorstep one day, claiming to be an old school friend of John. Purporting to have his best interests at heart, Piggy devises a plan for the beleaguered Joe to get revenge on the gang who killed his beloved brother. As the programme of retribution begins to play out, Joe finds himself, under the influence of the sinister Piggy, caught in a web of violence from which he cannot escape.

Piggy, an (quite literally at one point) in-your-face take on Clockwork Orange (1971) like gang culture, is the direction, like it or not, that one would suggest modern horror films will have to take if they are to survive. In the era of post 80’s teenager-in-peril schlockers like Nightmare on Elm Street (1984) and their attempted pastiche driven resurgence during the first decade of the new millennium with the Scream and Final Destination franchises, and a genre where creatures, alien or otherwise, now raise little more than a mild shudder, the horror of the disintegration of everyday, urban life is something which everyone can relate to and as a result at worst find unsettling and at best downright terrifying.

It will spoil little to reveal that Piggy‘s main focus centres on the retribution dealt upon each member of the gang by Joe and Piggy’s two man vigilante team – the said revenge which is frequently hard to watch. The more disturbing aspect and one which lasts well after the film has finished, is its depiction of Joe’s own moral breakdown and his increasing isolation from the world surrounding him, including from the love and support of his long suffering ex-girlfriend Claire (a beautifully heartfelt performance by Louise Dylan).

An unexpected double twist ending, though doing little to detract from the hard hitting and visceral violence of the film or its underlying bleak theme of urban and moral decay, makes Piggy an interesting and refreshingly original entry in a tired and increasingly directionless genre.

Expected Rating: 5 out of 10

Actual Rating:

 

Review: The Devil Inside (15) / Director: William Brent Bell / Screenplay: William Brent Bell, Matthew Peterman / Starring: Fernanda Andrade, Simon Quarterman, Even Helmuth / Release Date: Out Now

Director William Brent Bell has an obvious affection for The Exorcist (1973) unfortunately his attempts to update the premise with found footage and the spin of multiple demonic possessions doesn’t work. A contortionist, the spider walk, the use of the C word all nod to his fondness, but it certainly doesn’t live up to the quality.

The Devil Inside opens in 1989 with police footage and news coverage of a brutal trio of murders committed by Maria Rossi (Suzan Crowley) after a prayer meeting goes horribly wrong in a gory and promising prologue.  We are introduced to her daughter, Isabella Rossi (Fernanda Andrade), in 2009 as she attempts to discover the true reason behind her mother’s mental state, in the worry that it could be inherited.  Her father has passed and her mother is being held in a psychiatric hospital in Rome, Italy so she heads there with cameraman Michael Schaefer, to investigate and chronicle her quest for the truth.  Location shooting in Rome looks grand, but too much time spent idly following Isabella round the gorgeous city will have you shifting in your seat with boredom.

On arriving in Rome Isabella meets two priests who perform exorcisms not approved by the Vatican (think the Spectral Sightings duo in Insidious but with all the fun taken out). Father Ben Rawlings (Simon Quarterman) and Father David Keane’s (Evan Helmuth) side operation moves the story along as they agree to help Isabella in getting to the bottom of her mother’s condition but the characters were not fleshed out enough and their acting didn’t feel natural or reactive enough for the found footage perspective.

Crowley does a good evil Susan Sarandon impression and Ray Winstone style cockney accent when an exorcism is attempted on her and her bulging eyes are fascinating to watch but the scene unfortunately lacks any tension. Another exorcism scene features body contortionist, Bonnie Morgan, and it is a spectacle worth seeing. Unfortunately the film has serious pacing issues in the lead up to the exorcisms, it wastes a lot of time mumbling about the catholic tradition of exorcism, and uses lazy scares like dogs barking loudly to try and make you jump in the meantime. The religious aspect is obviously important in this film, and as Isabella is making her documentary, she walks in on an exorcism class that gives you all the information you need for the set-up of this film.  The filmmakers attempt to utilise the documentary style of the film with conversations in cafes and apartments could have been cut for faster pacing.

This is low budget horror at its worst, instead of playing with ideas or building on a good idea in a creative way, the filmmakers have chosen to rehash the limited exorcism tropes that have been seen too many times now.

After The Last Exorcism played out so nicely and effectively with some inventive ideas The Devil Inside takes the obvious, less challenging route and makes for disappointing viewing.  The premise was promising as was the opening scene but they missed every opportunity to do anything clever with it.

Expected rating: 5 out of 10

Actual rating:

Review: Strippers vs. Werewolves / Director: Jonathan Glendening / Screenplay: Pat Higgins, Philip Barron / Starring: Adele Silva, Robert Englund, Billy Murray, Martin Kemp, Ali Bastian, Steven Berkoff / Release date: April 27th

Strippers vs. Werewolves, as its title suggests, sets out as a deliberate piece of grindhouse cinema. It’s basically girls with guns against lycanthropes. Nothing wrong with that, I reckon. Strippers vs. Werewolves is meant as an unassuming romp – a bit of sleazy fun, which, for the most part, it is. The problem is that it should be more fun. Like too many independent British films, Strippers vs. Werewolves suffers from a weak script (by Pat Higgins and Philip Barron) and that makes it drag all too often when it should be flying.

When stripper, Justice (Adele Silva) is attacked by a werewolf punter, Mickey, (Martin Kemp) at the Silverdollarz strip club, she defends herself by stabbing him in the eye with a silver pen, killing him instantly. Club boss Jeannette (Sarah Douglas) orders the body disposed of, but it turns out that Mickey belonged to a bloodthirsty pack of werewolves led by the charming and vicious Jack Ferris (played by Billy Murray). Jack orders his pack to hunt down Mickey’s killers and exact bloody vengeance, but the werewolves haven’t counted on the resilience of the strippers, who band together to defend themselves and maybe exact some vengeance of their own.

Adele Silva gives an appealing performance as Justice, the sweet natured stripper who discovers her own mettle when she inadvertently catches the lycanthropy curse from fiancé, Scott (Martin Compston), whom she doesn’t realise is second in command to wolf man Jack. Quite endearing, too are Barbara Nedeljakova and Ali Bastian as Justice’s side-kicks, Raven and Dani, both of whom have boyfriend problems of their own. The three of them together make quite a team, and are more than a match for the hapless werewolves.

The problem is that Strippers vs. Werewolves really only gets on its paws in the final reel – for the showdown between the Strippers and the Werewolves, where the girls get to kick some ass and shoot some guns. The final ten minutes fulfil the promise of the title in all its grindhouse glory, but viewers may find getting to it a bit of a chore.

The werewolf gang, it has to be said, are not up to much. They’re a pretty crass bunch (including a mohawk-headed punk and a masturbating man-child) and not all that convincing as the gang of cockney criminals which they are partly meant to be. Strippers vs. Werewolves, I’m afraid, also tries to draw on the Lock Stock gang thriller – the type of which we thought we had seen the last of ten years ago. The casting of Billy Murray (best known as crime boss Johnny Allen in EastEnders) adds to this attempt at genre-cross over. There are also the usual Guy Richie-esque stylistic clichés such as freeze frames on characters as they are introduced with a subtitle giving their name. This presumably attempts to make up for the lack of any real characterisation of the gang members.

Alongside Martin Kemp there is a whole raft of cameos from the likes of Steven Berkoff, Lysette Anthony and Alan Ford. Robert Englund gets star billing as imprisoned alpha wolf, Tapper, but is only in one scene. These cameos are obviously meant to improve the film’s marquee value but, unfortunately, also add to the mish-mash, as the focus is all too often taken off the main story in order to accommodate the cameos.

Director Jonathan Glendening does his best to marshal the elements and injects a bit of vitality into the flagging script with some winning stylistic flourishes. Sometimes he goes overboard with the split screen and the comic book-type graphics but he is a director to watch.

If you can make it to the showdown you will enjoy seeing the girls kick some hairy werewolf butt, as I did. Silva, Nedeljakova and Bastian make it worth staying for. A sequel with these three in it please (Strippers vs. Vampires, anyone?). Oh, and a better script.