Review: Doctor Who – The Daemons (PG) / Directed by: Christopher Barry /Written by: Robert Sloman, Barry Letts / Starring: Jon Pertwee, Katy Manning, Nicholas Courtney, Richard Franklin, John Levene / Release date: 19th March

There are a few Jon Pertwee stories that are held, by fans, in as high a regard as The Dæmons. A five part story which grabs the audience in the opening moments and doesn’t let go until the closing credits.

Yes, this story owes a lot to The Midwich Cuckoos/Village of the Damned and more than a nod in the direction of Quatermass but the unique twist that Doctor Who gives to these influences makes it something truly special.

The basic plot concerns the Masters’ plans to release an ancient and powerful alien using the trappings of black magic and superstition, all in the location of a sleepy English village. The sort of place where visitors are met with a beer and a warning about the new vicar. Where the local Witch can handle herself and the gargoyles have a life of their own. Where the horned beast has wrinkled stockings and – most oddly of all – where BBC3 actually shows a documentary that people would really want to watch.

Guy Leopold, who is credited with writing the story, is a pseudonym for Robert Sloman and Barry Letts who was then the producer and was not allowed to officially write for his own show. His intimate knowledge of the cast and their characters has given a richness and depth to this story that still shines through forty years on.

The ending of this story marks the close of a series dominated by the criminal Time Lord, The Master, definitively played by the excellent Roger Delgado. It can be argued that having one villain at the centre of an entire series orchestrating the events in an ark, is a mistake that should not be repeated. But, then again what do we know about the structure of Doctor Who.

There are two central themes that are also seen in modern Doctor Who. The first is that Science trumps magic/religion and the other is that Love will conquer and defeat evil. These can be debated until the cows come home but it can’t be denied that these bed rocks of Doctor Who mythology still permeate and shape the modern show. From the Great Beast in the Impossible Planet through to the defeat of the Cybermen in Closing time.

So, let’s all say ‘Mary, Mary, quite contrary’ backwards and invoke the true spirit of Doctor Who.

Special Features: With disc one dominated by the main feature and commentary track, a second disc is more than justified to cover the extras. Value Added Material – as they call it at 2/entertain towers –  has now reached such a high standard that we fans feel cheated when we feel that something is missing. Like spoilt children we will sulk when we realise that the extra feature we were expecting is missing – the fan produced Return to Devils End is nowhere to be seen. However there is more than enough VAM to make up for it.

A specially commissioned making of goes by the name of The Devil Rides Out while the shining gem of this set is the wonderful documentary Remembering Barry Letts which takes us through the life and works of a writer and producer who had such a lasting effect on the show. There is a delightful Mute amateur 8mm film shot at the location during filming of the story and the 1992 VHS Colorization test for episode one – allowing for comparison in quality. A short excerpt from BBC Televisions Tomorrow’s World showing the early methods of recolourisation used. There is also a photo gallery and some PDF Radio Times listings. As always this release has been digitally remastered.

Review: Tatsumi (15) / Director: Erick Khoo / Screenplay: / Starring: Tetsuya Bessho, Motoko Gollent, Yoshihiro Tatsumi / Release date: May 28th

Tatsumi is a dark Japanese animation film that is striking, informative and thought provoking. It moves between the manga memoir A Drifting Life and some short stories written by Japanese Manga artist Yoshihiro Tatsumi providing an excellent platform to showcase his work. For those already acquainted with his work it is a beautifully produced animation film that brings his comics to life. For those who are not, but interested in manga, it provides a great introduction to the artist and his body of work. Tatsumi is credited with starting the Gekiga style of alternative comics in Japan, writing and drawing stories of a more adult and dramatic nature, that started off with an underground readership in the 1960s and slowly moved into the mainstream.

A Drifting Life is over 800 pages long so the film has shaved down the content to include an overview of Tatsumi’s life along with some of his stories that depict the cultural shift in Japan. Tatsumi became successful at a young age in manga and was inspired by Osamu Tezuku, whose comics were influenced by Disney and of a lighter subject matter. Tatsumi rebelled against the early manga comics and moved to writing about more serious issues after the war, and so the story begins with a tale set just after the atomic bombings in Hiroshima that is both heart-breaking and fascinating.

On one hand this films tells the story of a struggling artist trying to get his work accepted and on the other it is a story of a country coming to terms with tragedy. The film manages to convey the anger and frustration of both the personal and public outrage. It is intense viewing that doesn’t let up; each story has a dark or political edge to it that will make you think about the root of the human condition.  With mature material on offer here, there are scenes of a saucy nature that may seem gratuitous to a mainstream audience. Masturbation and frenzied sex scenes may have you slightly perplexed if you are not familiar with his work.

The autobiographical side of the story comes across as extremely honest. Tatsumi’s relationship with his brother portrays the jealousy and competitiveness between siblings without sentimentality. The decline of Tatsumi’s relationship with manga artist Tezuku is also told with candour. The cultural views on Japanese life are interesting and give an overview of the world in which Tatsumi grew up in and a brief history of the country seen through his eyes.

Insightful, moving and informative, Tatsumi’s mature material works well on the big screen. The animation is reflective of the graphic novels it is based on and the stories are both startling and gripping.

Extras: TBC

Review: Bruiser (15) / Director: George A. Romero / Screenplay: George A. Romero / Starring: Jason Flemyng, Peter Stormare, Tom Atkins / Release date: Out Now

At last – George A. Romero’s Bruiser finally gets a UK DVD release this month. Filmed in 1999, Bruiser received a limited theatrical release in America – courtesy of Lionsgate – and since then has only been available on US disc. No theatrical showing in the UK at all and twelve years until a UK DVD release. To say StudioCanal – who also financed the film – have been dragging their feet is something of an understatement! Better late than never, I suppose. So, has it been worth the wait? Well, yes and no…

Anyone expecting a living dead gorefest is going to be disappointed. Bruiser sees Romero in psychological thriller-mode, following in the footsteps of his earlier Martin (1977), Monkey Shines (1988) and The Dark Half (1993), and it is arguably the weakest of the four films.

Brit actor Jason Flemyng plays Henry Creedlow, a doormat junior executive working for a voguish fashion magazine called Bruiser. Henry’s wife despises him and is having an affair with his boss (played in true scenery chomping style by Peter Stormare). She is also diddling Henry out of his money in cahoots with his best friend, who is his financial advisor. To make matters worse, Henry lives in a half-finished house that he can’t afford to complete. Henry, in other words, has a big letter ‘L’ stamped on his forehead and feels that everyone is robbing him of his identity. Then one morning he wakes to find his face literally gone, replaced with a featureless white mask (think George Franju’s 1959 classic Les Yeux San Visage). With his identity fully erased, and anonymity in its place, Henry is free to exact revenge on those who wronged him.

Bruiser is the last of Romero’s thrillers to date that explores the theme of the ‘monster within’. It also falls within his patchy ‘middle period’ – a fairly fallow time in the 1990s (after his split from Laurel producer Richard Rubenstein and before his return to zombies with Land of The Dead) that saw Romero idling in Hollywood development hell, producing only three films in twenty years. The problem is that Bruiser lacks the claustrophobic suspense that provided the framework for Monkey Shines and The Dark Half. We don’t fear for Henry the way we did for Allan Mann (the paraplegic held to ransom by his psychically-bonded psychotic killer monkey in Monkey Shines) or even Thad Beaumont (the hero haunted by his murderous ‘dark-half’, George Stark). Bruiser lacks these strong villains of Monkey Shines and The Dark Half. Instead Romero goes for the romantic anti-hero approach that he used in Martin, trying to make Henry into a Phantom of the Opera or a Darkman, but he doesn’t really succeed there either.

Part of Bruiser’s problem is its uneven tone. There are places where it seems like it wants to go giallo – and it does at times resemble an Argento movie – especially when Henry stalks his victims and dispatches them in novel ways (shades also of Dr Phibes). Then there is Tom Atkins (The Fog, Escape from New York) as a veteran cop pursuing Henry. His scenes play like a 1950s cop movie thanks to Romero’s hokey dialogue that has Atkins referring to ‘dames’. Knowing Romero’s love of old movies this was probably deliberate but the effect jars. As for the final section of Bruiser which takes place in a masked ball, Eyes Wide Shut did it better (and that’s not saying much).

On the plus side, Bruiser looks amazing, and marked a step-forward for Romero as a director, visually. Adam Swica’s cinematography captures the noir-ish undertones of the story, and the production design is one of Romero’s all-time best. It’s all stylish clutter in luxury apartments and swanky offices, underlining perfectly the emptiness of Henry’s affluent but soul-less world.

Back then to my original question: was it worth the wait? If you are a Romero completist you will definitely want Bruiser for your collection (although you’ll probably have the US disc already) – if only to complete the trilogy of his 1990s thrillers. Otherwise I’d advise to proceed with caution. There are rewards in Bruiser (it also has a great jazz soundtrack by Donald Rubenstein) but you might find yourself, as I did, having to dig for them.

Review: Kill Keith (15) / Director: Andy Thompson / Screenplay: Andy Thompson, Pete Benson, Tim Major / Starring: Susannah Fielding, David Easter, Marc Pickering, Keith Chegwin, Russell Grant / Release date: March 26th

With the catch line “Saw meets Richard and Judy” and a selection of very British B-grade celebrities sending themselves up in Extras fashion, you could be forgiven to think that Kill Keith will be a one gag flick – but boy, would you be wrong.

The iAM-TV breakfast show, The Crack of Dawn is losing its male presenter, Cliff (David Easter, himself a familiar TV face) under mysterious circumstances, not that his barbed innuendo toward eponymous star Dawn (Susannah Fielding – you may remember her pretty face from Doctor Who episode Victory of the Daleks), nor his arrogant and prima donna ways will be missed by the crew on set. A prime butt of Cliff’s acerbic comments is studio runner (or coffee and arse wipes to his colleagues) Danny (Marc Pickering). Danny has an ambition to rise above his post and become a presenter himself, and when the celebrities on the short list for Cliff’s replacement start turning up dead you have to wonder if maybe he’s picking off the competition. Could Keith Chegwin – currently hosting a door step section of the show ‘Cheggers knocks you up’ – be in line for the job, or will it go to camp as Christmas astrologer Russell Grant?

After the producer of the show is found dead, in a bizarre but hilarious way (bringing a new meaning to the expression getting your oats), and squeaky voice comedian Joe Pasquale is killed with a box of cereal he is pimping, the press begin to wonder who will be the next victim of the  “Breakfast cereal killer”.

What is surprising about Kill Keith is not just how well it is made, but how it totally goes against your expectations. The film is as much a romantic comedy (sorry I refuse to use the term ‘romcom’) and a pin sharp satire of daytime TV as it is a horror film. The dumbed down competition questions, the clueless presenters and sleazy tabloid journalists are all targeted. A master stroke has Tony Blackburn played by a young, good looking guy Joe Tracini, and when it looks like he may be next on the hit list, he hires a lookalike – played by Blackburn himself. A wonderful sequence has him tortured to the tune of ‘Last Night a DJ Saved My Life’.

The star of the show, Cheggers himself, gets less screen time as you’d expect, but when he is, he is brilliant. He is instantly recognisable to many of us of a certain age for Swap Shop and Chegger’s Plays Pop, and then tarnished his reputation slightly by becoming a piss pot and getting his nudger out on a TV game show. No matter what you think of the guy personally, he certainly is game for a laugh and not afraid to send himself up. In fact, all the celebrities involved should be applauded for throwing themselves into the production.

Danny is a likeable hero, with a penchant for Walter Mitty type fantasy, which reminded me of Spaced and the often forgotten 80s US shows, Dream On and Herman’s Head, and the chemistry between him and Dawn is evident and believable, if stretching the credibility a little; how many TV stars would even notice the tea boy?

Director Andy Thompson, who had previously co-directed an overlooked but entertaining horror flick The Scar Crow (2009) helms with confidence from his own story, filling the screen with some lovely flourishes and transitions.

The film would not be out of place if it was placed under the ‘Comic Strip Presents’ moniker, and I mean that as a complete compliment. The biggest shame about the film is that it is so British it may limit its appeal overseas. Hopefully it will become a big cult hit on DVD, as it certainly deserves to do well. A bloody good fun film and one of the best film posters of the last year.

Review: Gantz + Gantz Perfect Answer (15) / Director: Shinsuke Sato / Screenplay: Hiroya Oku / Starring: Kazunari Ninomiya, Ken’ichi Matsuyama, Yuriko Yoshitaka / Release date: Out now

It seems like after ghostly dark haired girls ran their course, the next craze to sweep the Japanese film industry may well be adaptations of anime into live action. In recent years we have had Casshern and the Death Note series adapted with varying degrees of success. The problem is that many of these anime series’ are actually 22 part season long arcs and condensing the narrative down into one or two, two hour movies is going to lead to some incoherence and the loss of some satisfying subplots and characters. The latest anime to get this treatment is Gantz.

Gantz was first of all a manga written and illustrated by Hiroya Oku before becoming two 13 episode series’ worth of anime and tells the story of Kei Kurono and his friend Masaru Kato who die in a train accident and wake up in a room with several other recently deceased people. In the room with them is a black sphere that calls itself ‘Gantz’ and contains a bald man on life support. Gantz instructs them that they must track and kill aliens living amongst humanity using their power suits and high tech weapons. At the end of each mission the team are given scores and once they gain 100 points they are given the chance to either return to life or resurrect a fallen comrade. The first film follows this plot to the letter and is merely a collection of sequences of the team clumsily killing a series of bizarre aliens in showers of gore. There is very little character development or personality on display from the attractive cast and the film is at least twenty minutes too long making it a bit of a chore to sit through. Where it gains points however is in the depiction of its aliens. The designs are frequently bizarre, taking the form of vegetable headed oafs, demonic Lego men or giant Buddha statues with swords. The sequences where the team take out these enemies are really well done for the most part and the films biggest selling point.

For the sequel Gantz: Perfect Answer, the mythology is deepened although still remains surreal and obtuse. The action quota is ramped up with something resembling an actual plot. Vengeful aliens who take human form begin to take out members of the team and Gantz itself starts to malfunction bringing much confusion to the team as they score points randomly and random regenerations of fallen comrades occur. The aliens also seem to have small black spheres of their own giving them instructions. As a result, allegiances shift, people are betrayed and the stakes are higher as people from Kei and Masuru’s private lives are dragged into the melee. 

The second film is much better than the first although still too long. It has the best set pieces of the two with an extended sequence on board a packed subway train as alien’s gun down members of the public and our heroes fight them off with swords being the stand out. Director Shinsuke Sato definitely has the perfect balance of craft and editing in order to make an exhilarating action sequence. Sadly for a film subtitled Perfect Answer, there really are not any answers. It is never fully explained what the hell is going on with this black sphere commanding resurrected contestants and why this is happening. This may infuriate some, it may delight others.

Whilst they never hit the stylistic heights of Casshern and lack the clever narrative of Death Note, if you can just go with the bizarre plot that offers no easy answers and enjoy them for the Japanese style exercises that they are, then there is much fun to be had with the Gantz films. Undoubtedly they are best enjoyed back to back for full effect. 

Extras: Making of, Interview, Trailer, TV spots

Review: The Innkeepers (18) / Director: Ti West / Screenplay: Ti West / Starring: Sara Paxton, Pat Healey, Kelly McGillis / Release date: June 25th

From Ti West, the director of the entertaining 2009 flick House of the Devil comes another “slow burner”, this time set in a haunted hotel.

It’s the last weekend for The Yankee Pedlar, and the hotel’s only employees left on duty Claire (Sara Paxton) and Tintin-quiffed Luke (Pat Healey) decide this is their last chance to find any evidence of the alleged ghost that haunts the hotel. Luke is working on a website about the supposedly haunted hotel and spinning Claire stories of seeing the ghost of Madeline O’Malley, who hung herself in the hotel after being stood up on her wedding day, and hyped up, Claire is keen to get started on the ghost hunt, especially since there are so few guests staying.

One guest is a faded TV Star Leanne Rease Jones (a virtually unrecognisable Kelly McGillis) who has a ‘gift’ with premonitions and talks at psychic healing conventions. After being initially star struck, Claire begins to get to know Lea over the course of the nights.

After Claire hears piano playing and other noises in the pair’s EVP recording device, she begins to become disturbed and wakes with a nightmarish vision.

Leanne tries to help with her crystal pendulum, but is horrified by what she feels, and warns her not to continue her search and to get out of the hotel.

The film plays almost like Clerks in a hotel, with the two main characters riffing on each other (without being as laugh out loud funny and dirty, of course), however the two leads are not your stereotypical slackers, and are very likeable and well acted. The brooding shots down the New England hotel corridors give it a brilliant eerie Shining feel. The slow burn approach West has become known for works really well, and sends you right back to the good old days of horror cinema where mood and atmosphere are more important than shock and gore and lead up to a frantic finale and a devastating epilogue.

We wouldn’t recommend watching the trailer first though, as it contains almost all of the ‘jumps’!

Extras: TBC

Review: Beyond (12) / Director: Josef Rusnak / Screenplay: Gregory Gieras / Starring: Jon Voight, Teri Polo, Julian Morries, Dermot Mulroney / Release date: Out now

Sometimes straight to DVD efforts look good, they have good actors involved, they have a somewhat interesting story and yet they are denied a cinema release when dire stuff like The Roommate is given a wide release. One such example of this is the film Beyond which despite being very cinematic, set in picturesque Anchorage and starring Jon Voight, has sneaked out on to home video. Despite all of these elements working in the films favour, it’s such a lightweight piece of fluff with a seen-it-all-before story that no matter how entertaining it may be, nobody would ever be convinced it had a chance in cinemas.

Beyond starts promisingly with haunted child kidnap specialist Detective John Koski (Voight) hunting down and killing a criminal and rescuing a child much to the disapproval of the police chief (Dermot Mulroney). Koski is a man who will do anything to ensure that a kidnapper isn’t later released to re-offend and is driven by personal demons. Then the niece of the police chief is kidnapped and there are no leads. Her rich parents who have a troubled marriage enlist a television psychic named Farley (Julian Morris) to help track her down, who then comes into conflict with Koski who resists his help. The psychic seems to know everything about Koski’s troubled past and his visions seem to point to the fact that this kidnapping is anything but normal and that the girls imaginary friend might not be so imaginary.

For most of its running time, Beyond is a solid, entertaining B movie with some great character work from Jon Voight and Dermot Mulroney. However Julian Morris comes across like a poor man’s Orlando Bloom and seeing as many believe Bloom to be awful anyway you can imagine how convincing his scenes are. A great deal of Beyond’s problems lie in the fact that director Josef Rusnak doesn’t seem to know how to pace a film properly even though he can capture a cold and desolate landscape very well.

Beyond seems in a rush to get from the points it has to hit at A,B and C in its three act structure that any directorial flair is lost. A little bit more finesse and room for the characters and plotlines to breathe would have changed this merely entertaining movie into a great movie. Despite its well worn plot which has been featured in everything from Bones to The X-Files, it is a fairly solid piece of entertainment. For a while it looks as though it may head into Insidious territory but this is abandoned for a plot twist that you see coming in the first twenty minutes.

Beyond isn’t terrible, I have definitely seen worse straight to DVD films but it never rises above its TV movie of the week feel to be something truly great.

Review: Legend (PG) / Director: Ridley Scott / Screenplay: William Hjortsberg / Starring: Tom Cruise, Miah Sara, Tim Curry, David Bennent, Alice Playten / Released date: Out now

There are two films on the Legend Blu-ray. One is a dark, adult fairytale by one of the best directors on the planet at the peak of his career, with visual effects that were twenty years ahead of their time and an atmospheric Jerry Goldsmith soundtrack. The other is a badly edited mess of a children’s film with a cheesy Tangerine Dream soundtrack that stands out as being one of the worst examples of studio interference in cinematic history. I am, of course, referring to the Director’s Cut and Theatrical version of the same movie. Ridley Scott’s Legend.

Most of us will have seen the Theatrical version already, so consider this review of the Director’s Cut only; as that’s the version you will be buying this disk for.

The Lord of Darkness (Tim Curry) intends to bring about a reign of perpetual night, as sunlight is the one thing that can destroy him. In order to do this, he needs to kill the last two unicorns on the Earth. He sends his goblins out to get the only bait that draws the unicorn. Innocence, in this instance, in the form of Princess Lili (played by Mia Sarah in her first ever movie role). The male unicorn is slain, and Lili is taken captive by Darkness, who hopes to corrupt her innocence into an evil to match his own. The only thing standing between the world and an endless night are Jack, the forest boy (played by a very young Tom Cruise) and a ragtag group of fairies and gnomes.

The first thing that you notice about Legend is that it looks absolutely stunning. The sets are astonishing, and would not be equalled until Lord of the Rings. The practical effects are similarly amazing. The makeup on Tim Curry is nothing short of fantastic, and this extends to the other inhabitants of the world. The practical effects are almost flawless, and are superior to the visuals that we get in modern blockbusters. The only time that things fall down are in the early attempts at CGI, such as a couple of the fairy effects or when Lord Darkness emerges through a mirror.

The Director’s Cut has a disclaimer from Ridley Scott at the beginning that explains that the full version of the film was thought to be lost until 2000, when a pristine print was discovered, but that due to the nature of the print, they could not enhance it to today’s standards. To be honest, there were only the two named instances above where I noticed anything at all that was less than perfect.

The improvement to the storyline with the re-insertion of the cut footage is marked. The plot now makes sense, for a start. The whole tone of the film is much darker, and some of the imagery would make the average small child run screaming for the back of the sofa. The characters are more fleshed out and Tim Curry in particular gives one of the best performances of his career.

That’s not to say that it’s perfect, even in this version which is closer to the directors’ original vision. There is still a fairly large dollop of 1980’s cheesiness in evidence at times, although at least it does provide a counterpoint to the darkness. And yes, unfortunately Mia Sarah still sings in this version, but at least it’s near the beginning, so you don’t have to sit there, dreading it for long. If I’m honest, even now I still don’t really buy into the pseudo-romantic Lord of Darkness loves Lili sub-plot. It at least makes a sort of sense in this version of the film, but those scenes still dragged a little for me.

There is also precious little in terms of extras on this disk, as the two versions of the movie essentially take up all the space. The only other thing on the disk was the theatrical trailer. Personally I’d rather they’d ditched the rubbish version of the movie and put some actual special features on the disk. I’d have loved to see how some of those effects were done.

Legend is Ridley Scott’s flawed classic. An engaging and dark fantasy that was edited to death by a studio that wanted a children’s movie, and who then wondered why it died in flames at the box office.

This is a worthwhile addition to the collection of any fantasy fan, but I wouldn’t bother with the theatrical release unless you fancy a laugh at how badly the studio execs managed to mess things up.

Review: The Thing (15) / Director: Matthijs van Heijningen Jr. / Screenplay: Eric Heisserer / Starring: Mary Elizabeth Winstead, Joel Edgerton, Ulrich Thomsen, Eric Christian Olsen, Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje / Released: March 26th

A group of scientists and soldiers convene at an Antarctica research site to investigate what seems to be the scene of an alien crash. If the plot of The Thing sounds familiar, that’s because it’s a remake and a prequel at the same time. Sorely lacking in practical effects and Kurt Russell’s incredible beard, it courts watchability thanks to talented actors and its beautiful setting.

Taking place mere days before the arrival of Kurt Russell at the abandoned research base of The Thing (1982), this movie tells the story of how that base came to be so abandoned. The lovely Mary Elizabeth Winstead heads up the scientists as paleontologist Kate Lloyd (her expertise required for precisely one scene), whilst Ulrich Thomsen is enjoyable as her slimy boss. Joel Edgerton’s soldier is fairly bland, not even managing to muster up a decent beard out of it all. The biggest disappointment is the waste of LOST’s Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje in a role that only affords him about three lines. In a surprisingly diverse move, the film sets itself apart from the rest by employing a Norwegian director and Norwegian actors. It’s just a shame that the Norwegians serve only as glorified cannon fodder for the boring American characters. There are very few thrills and surprisingly little tension, given the nature of the drama. It’s pretty predictable who the hidden aliens will turn out to be, and some will even be able to predict the precise order of the unfortunates’ demises. As we essentially know how the film is going to end, there’s a sense of tedious inevitability to the whole affair. It’s far more remake than prequel, telling almost exactly the same story as its predecessor.

The creature designs are perfectly acceptable, but lack the iconicism of the original film’s monsters. There’s far too much CGI, which makes the outbreaks of violence and brutality feel less real or threatening. A highlight is a scene in which a man’s hands fall off and attack the other survivors. It’s a fun but forgettable moment, ultimately lacking like the rest of the movie. It should be as memorable as Carpenter’s infamous hands-through-the-chest moment, but is dulled by the CGI and a feeling that it’s all been better done before. John Carpenter’s movie was a remake too, but his Thing was nearly unrecogniseable from the original product. This version sticks too closely to previous templates. It’s not even original enough to please those who’ve not seen Carpenter’s cult classic. When the film does finally do something of its own initiative, it’s during a silly finale that feels like a leftover from Aliens Vs Predator. Even the 2002 videogame (the only sequel The Thing really needs) had more imagination than this. There’s a moment when we first meet Kate Lloyd, listening to Who Can It Be Now, by Men At Work. This wry wink at the audience is the most wit the film ever displays. It never takes advantage of its period setting nor the potential for tension or thrills. It’s a wasted opportunity, coasting on past successes, prettier and more respectful than most remakes, but not by much.

The best thing about The Thing? It makes you want to watch John Carpenter’s version again.

Extras: Deleted & Extended Scenes / Featurettes ‘The Thing Evolves (14 mins)’ & ‘Fire & Ice (5 mins)’ / Commentary with Director Matthijs Van Heijningen and Producer Eric Newman

Review: Tales from the Darkside – Season 2 (15) / Directed by: Armand Mastroianni, Tom Savini, Various / Written by: George A. Romero, Michael McDowell, Various / Starring: Chuck McCann, Jerry Stiller, Seth Green, Darren McGavin, Marcia Cross, John Heard, Lisa Bonet / Release Date: February 20th

I remember seeing some episodes of Tales from the Darkside when it aired on late night ITV in the late 80s, and now with the on-going DVD releases there is a chance to catch up with the ones I missed, or have forgotten. Not to be confused with the bigger budget HBO series Tales from the Crypt which had the Crypt Keeper and big star names and came after the Darkside had finished its run. Darkside was much more of a whimsical Twilight Zone type show, and like that classic series, had its fair share of sub-standard episodes. Fortunately, Season 2 has more hits than it does misses. Sure, some are better than others, but the good outweigh the poor.

The season opener, The Impressionist, is a gentle little tale of a comedian (legendary voice actor Chuck McCann) who is forced by the government into helping communicate with an alien with a head like a scrotum. There then follows a mix of bizarre and sometimes disturbing tales. Halloween Candy has a mean old coot terrorised for not giving out treats. Directed by Tom Savini, this one is not for anyone with a cockroach phobia! The Trouble with Mary Jane sees Lawrence Tierney and Phyllis Diller as a pair of wannabe psychics who attempt an exorcism on a possessed child and is a lot of fun and Monsters in My Room has a very young Seth Green finding his step-father unbearable.

A couple of episodes stood out for me, Distant Signals, in which a mysterious stranger, Mr Smith (Lenny von Dohlen) insists a Hollywood studio revive a failed TV show, Max Paradise – complete with its original star, the now alcoholic Van Conway (Darren McGavin). Watching this one, I instantly thought of the Futurama episode When Aliens Attack where they had to finish the Single Female Lawyer programme. Coincidence of influence? In Comet Watch Anthony Heald sports tweed and a bow tie in a decidedly timey – wimey story.

Series co-producer George Romero only wrote one story in this season, and The Devil’s Advocate is a real stand out. It stars Jerry Stiller as an obnoxious radio talk show host and is directed by Romero DP Micheal Gornick (who coincidentally provided the voice on the radio in Martin – 1976). It is this episode that gives us our only ‘extra’ in the set, with Romero talking over clips for just under five minutes.

There are plenty of famous faces popping up, including a pre-Lisa Simpson Yeardley Smith and Desperate Housewives’ Marcia Cross as a vampire. The season ends with a gory bang with a tale of a curse that causes a beautiful woman to kill.

Definitely a lot of fun, but may be a little too light for those weaned on later TV horror shows.

Extras: On Air with George A. Romero featurette.