Review Category: DVD/Blu Ray

Review: The Machine / Cert: 15 / Director: Caradog W. James / Screenplay: Caradog W. James / Starring: Caity Lotz, Toby Stephens, Denis Lawson / Release Date: March 31st

The latest incarnation of Mary Shelley’s classic horror, Frankenstein, arrives with a sci-fi twist and a thinly veiled message about the constant battle between pure science and the military-industrial complex.

Vincent (Stephens) is determined to help find a cure for his daughter whilst researching and testing ways to improve the life experiences of war veterans who come home with limbs missing or sometimes even worse. The veterans are, for all intents and purposes, killed in the line of duty, such are their reduced abilities to adapt to the real world. As a result they are actually prisoners, aware that they are unlikely to ever see the light of day again.

Unhappy with the state of play, Vincent nonetheless uses his skills to assist the MoD with their attempts to create a perfect soldier, taking the time to try and help his daughter escape her own locked-in world. Thanks to a computer programme that is almost able to think and respond like a human, it looks like there could be breakthroughs on both sides, but when Ava (Lotz), the AI expert who created it, is caught sniffing around where she shouldn’t, their boss Thomson (Lawson) has her killed in what appears to be a terrorist attack.

Vincent decides to plough ahead and uses Ava as the avatar for their new product – The Machine. Able to think like a human, but with none of the flaws,  it’s the next leap forward in combat ready soldiers. Of course, as Skynet has proven in the past (or is it future?), self-aware technology is not always a good thing.

Although the overall synopsis is nothing new, there’s a nice understated feel to this British production. Stephens is good as the father, trying to get his daughter back. Thomson is typically nasty as the man in charge, but it is Lotz who steals the show, effortlessly switching from the savvy Ava to the almost childlike but potentially deadly Machine. 

There is a whiff of Romero’s Day of the Dead with the underground lab forming the key setting for the events as they unfold, but that just adds to the pleasantly low-budget feel. Smart, British sci-fi at its best. 

Extras: None

Review: The Adored / Cert: 15 / Director: Carl Medland, Amarjeet Singh / Screenplay: Jody Medland / Starring: Laura Martin-Simpson, Ione Butler, Jake Maskall, Caroline Burns Cooke / Release Date: Out Now

This low-budget psychological thriller, shot in North Wales, may be a little leaden for some viewers but rewards perseverance.

Recovering from personal problems, not least with her marriage, model Mia (Butler) spends some time away with successful photographer Francesca (Martin-Simpson) in the hope of kick-starting her career. The shoots go well, and as the pair start to bond, passions and insecurities come to the fore; their respective weaknesses and obsessions threaten to cause problems, not least when Francesca seduces Mia, who is prone to sleepwalking. Elsewhere, in a psychiatrist’s chair, Adrian (Maskall) is attempting to come to terms with both his anger issues, and his own obsession that his wife is having an affair.

For what, on paper, looks like a routine Sapphic thriller, The Adored manages to pull together enough twists to keep the interest without becoming too clichéd. The female leads are both outstanding, playing believable, if not altogether likeable characters. It’s a powerful story of obsession and possessiveness, which no doubt many can relate to. While it may be troubling, perhaps, that the story somewhat perpetuates the myth of mental illness naturally leading to violence and abuse, paralleled in both narrative threads, the way they tie together is handled brilliantly.

It makes great use of the beautiful remote Welsh locations – even if does erroneously claim that Plas Tan-Yr-Allt, the house at Tremadog where Percy Shelley lived in 1812, was the dwelling in which Frankenstein was conceived. The score is a little intrusive at times; overpowering some scenes, particularly early on.

Nitpicking aside, this is an engaging tale which benefits from going in knowing as little as possible about it. It manages to cunningly shift the focus just when you think you are getting a handle on the situation; waiting all along for the inevitable explosion of passion.

Extras: Trailer / Two music videos from Welsh singer-songwriter, Peach

Review: About Time / Cert: 12 / Director: Richard Curtis / Screenplay: Richard Curtis / Starring: Domhnall Gleeson, Rachel McAdams, Bill Nighy / Release Date: February 3rd

Richard Curtis is best known for directing mawkish romantic comedies in which a young, posh, white male bumbles around being handsome and charming, whilst the rest of the world goes on around him in a sweet yet sometimes sad way, until eventually the lucky rich kid finds the woman of his dreams, marries her and produces the next generation of terribly shy English people.

About Time is arguably Curtis’ first sci-fi movie, in that on this occasion the bumbling toff also happens to have the power to travel in time. Of course, because this is a mostly about romance and comedy, all the usual uses for time travel are quickly dismissed. Rather than, say, trying to save the world or fight social injustice, the lead character uses his incredible abilities to find the perfect girlfriend. As the movie is meant to be a sweet yet sentimental emotional journey you can see why they swiftly dismiss the concept of utilising time travel for material gain. Trouble is, this had the knock-on effect of underlining exactly how lucky and well-off the central lead is, which makes it hard to feel too much sympathy for the poor sap.

If you’ve seen Love Actually or Notting Hill then you’ll easily recognise the cast of characters. In addition to the protagonist who is constantly about to say the word “gosh” and then blush, we have a bombastic artistic friend, a chap who’s a bit of a prat, a sinister yet sexually enticing woman whom we’re supposed to dislike, the witty yet bland female lead and of course Bill Nighy. Despite Nighy pretty much playing his standard screen persona, he carries off the role of caring and beloved father figure incredibly well, bringing pathos and meaning to what would otherwise be rather bland scenes.

Notwithstanding all of this, it is an incredibly sweet and moving feature, more so than Curtis’ previous efforts. Curtis uses the gimmick of time travel to hammer home the importance of the all too fleeting moments of joy that we experience throughout our lives. The fantastic elements are secondary to the needs of the story, and yet without them the movie wouldn’t work, so we’ll let the writer/director off, just this once. About Time is a sweet movie that takes as its theme the importance of love and family; if you do see it then we advise that you leave the Fourth Doctor scarf in its cupboard and instead grab a box of tissues – you’ll need them.

Extras: Audio commentary / Featurette / Blooper reel / Deleted scenes

Review: Game of Thrones – Season 3 / Cert: 18 / Director: Various / Screenplay: Various / Starring: Peter Dinklage, Lena Headey, Emilia Clarke / Release Date: Out Now

George R.R. Martin’s cut-throat world of Westeros has captivated, stunned and enthralled millions worldwide. A Song of Ice and Fire stands as one of the most popular high fantasy series of all time, prompting many to compare Martin’s meticulous world-building to that of the great J.R.R. Tolkien. With the release of the HBO television show, Game of Thrones, the series’ popularity grew exponentially. While the first two seasons pack quite a punch, it’s the third season that got the world talking. With enough magic, mayhem and violence to keep even the most cynical viewers at least mildly entertained, Season 3 takes the high-stakes battle for the Iron Throne to shocking new heights and suggests bleak futures for many fan-favourite characters.

Ned Stark is dead, the Lannisters still sit smugly upon the Iron Throne, and Stannis Baratheon slinks away in defeat. Jaime Lannister finds himself in the care of the skilled Brienne of Tarth, while Robb and Catelyn Stark search for allies to aid them in their invasion of King’s Landing. Jon Snow joins forces with the Wildlings and finds a new love interest in the plucky Ygritte. Meanwhile, on the other side of the world, Daenerys Targaryen prepares her own army for battle. The end result? One HUGE medieval shitfest to end all shitfests.

If there’s any advice we can give a newcomer to the show, it’s that getting attached to ANY character is a very bad idea. Martin’s books unceremoniously kill characters both major and minor (a trend that showrunners David Benioff and D. B. Weiss faithfully continue), so rooting for any one character too much will only end in heartbreak. To its credit, though, the show excels at immersing audiences in Martin’s rich world and developing its inhabitants so well that we can’t help but love (or hate) them.

If there’s one thing to complain about, it’s the show’s incredibly uneven pacing. The first two or three episodes find the characters standing around arguing without any real plot progression. Then, from episode four onward, so much happens at once that the pacing becomes too fast before sputtering and dying in the finale. It’s a shame that the opening and closing episodes hold no redeeming qualities other than promising some cool stuff to come, but we can assume that this is being done intentionally as build-up to the fourth season.

Bad pacing aside, Season 3 features some of the most memorable moments currently on television and showcases a handful of truly incredible performances. If you haven’t jumped on the Games of Thrones bandwagon yet, what the hell are you waiting for?

Extras: TBC

Review: Under the Bed / Cert: 15 / Director: Steven C. Miller / Screenplay: Eric Stolze / Starring: Jonny Weston, Gattlin Griffith, Peter Holden, Musetta Vander / Release Date: January 6th

Under the Bed is a unique movie that focuses on the age-old idea of those monsters that lurk beneath your bed each and every night (they’re real, y’know – Starburst has seen them). Neal Hausman (Weston) is a troubled teen who has had apparent psychiatric issues. Returning home to his father (Holden) and step-mother (Vander), he is looking to get back to normality. Upon his return, he finds that his younger brother Paulie (Griffith) is experiencing the same trauma that he once went through: that there’s something under the bed that’s out to get him. With everybody, including their own family, thinking that the brothers are insane, they have to once and for all face the presence that has tormented them both.

More of a thriller than an out-and-out horror, Under the Bed starts off positively. There’s a slow, deliberate opening act, with the story progressing at an intriguing pace rather than just having everything thrown at the audience within the first twenty minutes. Granted, the film does lose its way and becomes a little too slow for its own good at times. Whilst the opening is well-paced and thought-out, the overall pacing of Under the Bed is one of its biggest problems. Clocking in at just under 90 minutes, it feels as if the movie could’ve done with an extra 20 minutes or so, mainly as the climactic act seems rushed and like an afterthought.

In terms of performances, Weston’s Neal plays out like a vacant Skeet Ulrich (also known as modern-day Skeet Ulrich), as he oozes mystique and instability through rigid cheekbones and distant, icy stares. In a movie that plays like Boogeyman-meets-Goosebumps, Weston does his best with what he has to work with. The rest of the cast are nothing too horrendous, and Peter Holden does well as the father who has been pushed to his limits. Young Gattlin Griffith shows a lot of promise as the younger Hausman brother, and his chemistry with Weston’s Neal is one of the film’s highlights.

Sadly for Under the Bed, despite a solid opening, the film just feels flat and unbalanced. After a completely gore-free first 70 minutes, the final 15 minutes deliver a blood-soaked finale that feels out of synch with the rest of the movie. Added to that, it really does feel that the story would’ve been better suited to an episode of Goosebumps or Eerie Indiana. Unfortunately, Under the Bed lacks the charm and playfulness of those shows, feeling like a film that takes itself too seriously for what it is trying to be yet steers clear of committing to any risks that would push it towards a more adult audience.

Extras: Trailer

Review: Antisocial / Cert: 18 / Director: Cody Calahan / Screenplay: Chad Archibald, Cody Calahan / Starring: Michelle Mylett, Cody Ray Thompson, Adam Christie, Ana Alic / Released: January 27th

Antisocial revolves around a destructive virus that runs amok one New Year’s Eve. Just as a group of friends are planning to have the ‘best party ever,’ things take a turn for the creepy. Having to barricade themselves indoors, the group’s only contact with the outside world, not to mention information on the pandemic, is via phones, laptops and social media. With fear and paranoia taking over, the group don’t know who to trust or just how the virus is spreading.

Despite having what sounds like a generic plot pulled from one of many horror film templates, Antisocial does boast some rather unique elements and twists to its storyline. To go into them here would be diving into spoiler territory, so excuse us if we seem a little vague. Still, the main reveal is painfully clear right from the opening moments of the film, and you do often feel as if the only people who aren’t in the know are those on screen.

In terms of performances, Michelle Mylett’s Sam is the rough focal point of the story, although the rest of the cast get nearly the same amount of screen-time. Mylett does a relatively solid job, and she often comes across a little Mila Kunis-lite. The rest of the group all deliver exactly what they need to deliver, although Adam Christie goes far too over the top at times as Jed. Spewing out lines with as much realism as Michael Jackson’s nose (still too soon?), Christie’s try-hard performance threatens to tarnish the work of those around him. Luckily, the rest of the cast and crew manage to keep the film on track and keep the tone steady.

Antisocial begins as a grimy, dirty looking film that has a fair amount of believability and realism in its delivery and performance. Unfortunately, the longer the film goes on, the more illogical and convoluted everything becomes. As well as this, it often feels as if Antisocial is slapping you in the face with the points it’s trying to make. Yes, we’re all fully aware of the social commentary and societal awareness that you’re trying to point out. Even Snake Plissken’s left eye could see them. Less is more, people.

Even though Antisocial has a low budget, it doesn’t look to ridicule itself like so many similarly low-budget horrors out there. Relying on tension, atmosphere, and paranoia, Antisocial is often quite the enjoyable thriller/horror. Its problems come with its stupid, clichéd conclusion and the fact that, despite throwing in unique and modern twists throughout, it ends up falling back on played out, predictable plot points from a gaggle of other movies that came before it.

Extras: None

Review: Paranormal Asylum – The Revenge of Typhoid Mary / Cert: 18 / Director: Nimrod Zalmanowitz / Screenplay: Fred Edison / Starring: Aaron Mathias, Nathan Spiteri, Laura Gilreath, Grace Evans / Released: January 27th

Are you one of those people who look to see something good in every film you watch, no matter how bad it gets? Yeah, me too. Or at least I was until I saw Paranormal Asylum. Let’s just say, it’s not pretty.

The story of Paranormal Asylum revolves around two friends, Mark (Mathias) and Andy (Spiteri), who are looking to piece together a documentary chronicling the atrocities dished out to Mary Malone in the early 20th Century. Dubbed Typhoid Mary due to carrying typhoid, Mary was committed to an insane asylum for the latter days of her life, stuck in solitary confinement for apparently being behind the rise of typhoid fever. Seeing this as a great subject matter to give them their big break, Mark and Andy open up an investigation into what exactly happened. Despite being long dead, Typhoid Mary certainly isn’t going to stay buried.

Joining Mark and Andy, we have Andy’s girlfriend Michelle (Gilreath), who just happens to be the daughter of a psychic. Getting involved in more ways than she could’ve imagined, Michelle becomes a vital part of Typhoid Mary’s story, although, like pretty much everyone else in the film, the actress behind her, Laura Gilreath, likely wishes that she never signed a contract to appear in such a badly produced abomination of a movie.

Ripping off various spooky found footage films – yes, it’s one of those types – Paranormal Asylum is just plain awful. Mixing up the found footage approach with traditional shooting techniques, the film is bad on every single level. The acting is laughable, the effects shoddy at best, it’s poorly edited, we have a spirit that seemingly snores rather than spooks, and the script is so poorly put together that it seems like it’s the product of an infant playing with their own faeces. Nothing seems logical, natural, or genuine. In fact, you can’t help but feel so sorry for the actors involved. Yes, they may all be strikingly good-looking and well put-together, but such a poor script would struggle to get a decent turn out of Denzel Washington and an in-his-prime Robert De Niro.

The tagline reads “Some secrets are better left buried.” No, some movies are better left buried; buried deep underground, buried under a good few feet of cement, locked in a coffin with a curse placed on them. Oh, and set on fire. Whatever it takes to stop such an abortion of a movie to see the light of day. The one shining light of Paranormal Asylum is that it gives us all hope that we can one day be a filmmaker, regardless of how bad our films may be.

Extras: None

Review: Nick Fury – Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. / Cert: 15 / Director: Ron Hardy / Screenplay: David Goyer / Starring: David Hasselhoff, Lisa Rinna, Sandra Hess, Tracy Waterhouse / Release Date: January 20th

Those of you who are only familiar with Samuel L. Jackson’s Nick Fury may be surprised to learn that the original comic book Nick Fury was a grizzled, hands-on white male with a full, if greying, head of hair. Bar an attitude and an eye-patch, Jackson’s ‘Ultimate’ Fury differs in many ways to the regular ‘616’ Fury. And much like Jackson’s version, this alternative version of Fury has also received the movie treatment.

Way back in 1998, Nick Fury: Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. was produced as a direct-to-TV movie. Here we find a ‘sent out to pasture’ Fury (Hasselhoff) being brought back into the S.H.I.E.L.D. fold to help nullify the reignited threat of the dastardly HYDRA organisation. Determined to bring her father, the evil Baron von Strucker, back to life and make HYDRA a feared force once more, Andrea von Strucker (Hess) decides to make a statement of intent by levelling Manhattan. Only Fury, complete with the assistance of S.H.I.E.L.D. faces old and new, can foil HYDRA’s plan and save the city.

With an opening that looks like it’s been pulled from Airwolf, this outing is certainly indicative of its time. With low-budget, primitive CGI, and full of late ’90s haircuts, Nick Fury: Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. will be scoffed at by many. But thanks largely to David Goyer’s ripe script, this is very much a comic book movie; there’s dialogue so cheesy that it could be spread on crackers; there are crazed, maniacal, completely over the top villains; there are bad attitudes a plenty; and there are enough cigars chewed throughout to make viewers feel the effects of passive smoking.

As Fury, the Hoff delivers an equally brilliant and ludicrous performance. Delivering a gruff, grizzled leader of men, Hasselhoff gives us a Fury pulled directly from Marvel comics of yesteryear, with a gaggle of instantly quotable one-liners. Opposing him, we’re ‘treated’ to some truly horrendous accents, particularly from Sandra Hess’ Andrea von Strucker. Known as Viper in this – not to be confused with The Wolverine’s villainess – Hess’ character has an accent that makes Cameron Diaz’s Gangs of New York performance look credible. On the other side of the fence, Fury is aided by Lisa Rinna’s Contessa Valentina Allegra de Fontaine, another character pulled directly from the comic book pages.

Don’t take it seriously, enjoy it for what it is, count the rather cool amount of comic book references, and then maybe, just maybe, you’ll find yourself moderately entertained by Nick Fury: Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. Sure, it’s nowhere near as glossy or polished as the cinematic Nick Fury fans are now accustomed to, but it sure isn’t anywhere near as bland and formulaic as the Agents of S.H.I.E.LD. TV show.

Extras: None

Review: Devil in the Woods / Cert: 15 / Director: Darren Lynn Bousman / Screenplay: Darren Lynn Bousman / Starring: Stephen Moyer, Mia Kirshner, Allie Macdonald, Shawn Ashmore / Release Date: Out Now

Darren Lynn Bousman follows up the queasy thrills of his 2010 remake of Mother’s Day and his icky entries into the Saw franchise with a much more dialled-down and subtle effort which benefits enormously from its direct-to-DVD/reduced budget status. With the need to aim for the multiplex jugular removed, Bousman has created a more intriguing movie which covers territory admittedly over-familiar to horror genre aficionados but which also manages to offer a welcome and unexpected ambiguity to its ostensibly mundane narrative.

Richard Vineyard (True Blood’s Moyer – the movie’s biggest surprise is hearing him speak in his natural British accent rather than his Bon Temps drawl) tries to bring peace to a fractured family dynamic which sees his new wife, son, and stepdaughter at odds with one another. He takes them to the remote Pine Barrens where he vacationed with his father as a child but a campfire story about the legendary local beast known as the Jersey Devil awakens memories of his own traumatic childhood. Before long Richard’s shaky grip on sanity turns into paranoia as he suspects his new wife is being unfaithful and that something monstrous and blood-crazed is lurking in the woods. But is the Jersey Devil really out there slaughtering unsuspecting campers or is the killer someone closer to home?

Devil in the Woods (US title The Barrens, fact fans) wears its influences in plain sight, marrying the conventions of the ‘monster in the woods’ horror movie with a bit of Blair Witch bravado and just a dash of the stark raving mad psychopathic stalker thriller thrown in for a bit of colour. Moyer’s good value as the deranged Vineyard, his transformation from eager-to-please family man to potentially murderous lunatic played with just the right amount of scenery-chewing mugging, and his attacks on his own family evoke a similar gut-churn reaction to some of the more extreme nastiness of the director’s own earlier, higher profile genre work. There’s a charming Blake’s 7 shonkiness to some of the movie’s ambitious practical effects (alongside some cut-price CGI) but the script never betrays its core conceit that sometimes the very worst monsters are those which our own sometimes fragile minds create from their own special darkness. There are some pacing issues and moments when the production could clearly have done with a few more dollars but, for a movie shot in just eighteen days, Devil in the Woods is an assured and curiously haunting effort from a director whose career is clearly still a work-in-progress.

Extras: None

Review: Aeon – The Last Vampyre on Earth / Cert: TBC / Director: Daniel Falicki / Screenplay: Warren Croyle, Ryan Lieske / Starring: April Basile, Daniel Falicki, Chris Eddy / Release Date: TBC

Expectations aren’t likely to be too high for Aeon: The Last Vampyre on Earth, shot on a budget of $1 million and with just one main location and only two cast members dominating the screen for most of its ninety-odd minute running time. But director/actor Falicki isn’t interested in visual wham-bam; his film is a surprisingly gripping two-hander which discusses the nature and purpose of humanity, existential angst, religion and, unless I’m very much mistaken, the chances of Manchester United winning the FA Cup (and I think I very probably am mistaken on that one). This ain’t no action film; this is a movie which uses the idea of one human being and one vampire – the last vampyre, if you will – to consider the meaning of life and the point of it all as they represent the last of their respective species in a world coming to an end. A barrel of laughs it isn‘t.

As some unspecified cataclysm ravages the Earth, Catherine Murnau (Basile) stumbles into a gloomy warehouse which has been the prison of a scorched, crippled creature called Aeon (Falicki). With humanity fallen, Aeon seizes the opportunity to indulge himself by engaging the terrified Murnau in a lengthy, detailed debate about human nature, the meaning of life, the place and purpose of religion in a now Godless, wiped-out world. Murnau, for her part, finds herself defending her dead species and trying to justify Mankind’s existence and the spirit of humanity and all it’s ever believed in and achieved even as the planet falls to pieces around them.

It’s not difficult to imagine Aeon as some low-key agitprop stage production; it’s certainly a script which would lend itself well to the intimacy of live performance and yet, despite its lack of incident and its verbosity, it works well as a movie. There’s always something compelling and fascinating about two people arguing from diametrically opposed viewpoints and never more so than when one of them is a frightened human being and the other is a cynical undead monster which has lived too long and experienced too much. Trapped and decaying, Aeon is never a real threat to Murnau except on an intellectual level; her determination and ability to counter his relentless nihilism and maintain her humanity in the face of his ferocious, desperate hunger and the extinction of her species gives the movie a dynamism and drive which is never dampened by its lack of incident and spectacle. Aeon himself, charred and ruined, is a vampyre torn from our worst Gothic nightmares and even when Murnau tries to quite literally crush his physical essence towards the end of the movie, the last vampyre still won’t surrender to the inevitable. It’s as if he refuses to become extinct until Murnau, the very last human, is gone and the human race is finally no more and his point is proven.

Aeon: The Last Vampyre on Earth deftly defies the limitations of its minuscule budget and presents a bleak and yet potent examination of both the fragility and the enduring strength of the human spirit in the most extreme and fantastical of situations. Wordy, claustrophobic and stifling, Aeon is a vampyre film with real bite and a timely reminder that there’s still more to the undead in the movies than Robert Pattinson’s bloodless antics. One to look out for when it finally materialises in the UK.

Extras: TBC