ATTACK ON TITAN (PART ONE)

DVD REVIEW: ATTACK ON TITAN (PART 1) / CERT: 15 / DIRECTOR: TETSURO ARAKI / SCREENPLAY: HIROSHI SEKO, NOBORU TAKAGI, YASUKO KOBAYASHI / STARRING: BRYCE PAPENBROOK, TRINA NISHIMURA, JOSH GRELLE, ROBERT MCCOLLUM, DAVID MATRANGA, MIKE MCFARLAND, ASHLY BURCH / RELEASE DATE: OUT NOW

Over a century ago saw the appearance of the titans, gargantuan humanoid creatures driven by nothing but the instinctive and seemingly senseless imperative to consume humans. The survivors of the subsequent slaughter retreated behind vast concentric walls too high and strong for the titans to pass. There they lived in uneasy peace for a hundred years, until the appearance of a colossal titan four times the size of the largest previously seen and another with an armoured carapace, both of which smashed though the outer wall as though it was wet tissue, allowing a horde of the monstrosities through to overwhelm the outer cities and force humanity behind the next wall.

That turning point was about thirty seconds into the first episode. The speed at which Attack on Titan gets underway leaves barely enough time to catch your breath as it lurches into its heavy plot of dogged survival in the face of total annihilation. The only thing resembling a lull are a couple of early episodes that blast through the five years the viewpoint military cadets are in training, with more than a few echoes of Full Metal Jacket about them. Then just as their preparation is complete and they receive their assignments, a second titan assault commences and the series’ true intensity begins and never relents.

Inconceivably huge, prodigiously strong, unaffected by pain and capable of regenerating faster than Wolverine, the titans are nigh on unstoppable. A small weak spot of the back of their necks is the only way to permanently bring them down and to hit it first means getting within range of their all-consuming jaws. But, despite all that, it’s their physical resemblance to people that make them even more terrifying. Akin to just-off facsimiles, they’re like imitations of the human form created by someone who doesn’t quite understand it. The proportions are wrong, they lack definition and the face of each of them is stretched into a perpetual and humourless rictus while they glare impassively at the tiny humans like small children scrutinising the movement of insects.

The human aspect of the series is largely focused around military cadet Eren Yeager, who from first impressions seems to be incapable of feeling any emotion other than anger. While many people join the military out of a sense of duty, responsibility, or a desire to make a difference, Eren does so due to a seething, vitriolic, primal hatred of the titans. He doesn’t see them an enemy, or even an oppressive force of nature, but an aberration to be wiped from the face of the earth, their very existence worthy of nothing but base contempt. His rage also extends to humans who offend his moral sensibilities; a flashback episode sees him repeatedly stabbing a murderous slaver with a declaration of “this is what you get for being what you are!” after informing him in no uncertain terms that, not even an animal, “you’re a disease!” The fact that his name more or less means ‘Saint of Hunters’ is unlikely to be a coincidence.

Although Eren and his fellow cadets increase in confidence as their training progresses, their conviction in their abilities soon crumbles after coming face to gigantic face with their seemingly indomitable foe, giving way to abject terror and uncontrollable despair as the merciless carnage persists. When the fighting briefly subsides to a blood-drenched standstill, survivors do all they can to remain sane as their minds attempt to fully process the horrors they have just borne witness to, while the broken and masticated corpses of their friends lie around them. This has now become their lives: fight a seemingly futile campaign against an almost undefeatable enemy and they may get to live a few more days cowering in fear, awaiting their inevitable devouring. It’s a bleak and hopeless outlook, but one that makes for addictive viewing.

Although the relentless pace causes numerous sequences to stretch out over several episodes, it’s nothing like the infamously lengthy battle sequences of Dragon Ball Z. The story never drags for a moment, and the density of events means that there is always a lot happening in a comparatively short space of time, while the almost constant action will likely lead to you into binge watching without even realising it. Before you know it, you’ll have burned through every episode, only to leave yourself bereft and impatient for the series’ upcoming second half.

BECKONING THE BUTCHER

DVD REVIEW: BECKONING THE BUTCHER / CERT: 15 / DIRECTOR: DALE TROTT / SCREENPLAY: DALE TROTT / STARRING: DAMIEN E. LIPP, STEPHANIE MAURO, SOPHIE WRIGHT, TRISTAN BARR, TILLY LEGGE / RELEASE DATE: OCTOBER 13TH

From El Mariachi to 28 Days Later, recent cinema history is littered with inexpensive but hugely successful breakout movies. And thanks to The Blair Witch Project, the “found footage” genre has given film-makers a cheap but potentially effective means of getting their independent flicks produced even on the lowest of budgets. However, there are now so many of these doing the circuit, anyone making a found footage film would have to either bring something new to the genre, or find a story that could only be told using the particulars of format. Australian entry Beckoning the Butcher, part-financed through Indiegogo, is hardly at the forefront of innovation; it does, nevertheless, use the format wisely, and the premise is ideally suited to the form.

Chris Shaw (Lipp) has a growing online reputation for posting home movies of Satanic ceremonies he has unearthed in the darkest corners of the web. For his latest project, he and four friends take off to an abandoned house in the outback to perform the eponymous ritual – and it’s scarcely a spoiler to say that things don’t go quite as innocuously as usual.

We’ve all seen any number of films in which a bunch of attractive young people at an isolated location get picked off one by one by a mysterious killer, generally unmasked at the end of the final act. But the number of subtle differences here is quite impressive. While the location in which the friends find themselves is as run down as you might expect, it’s hardly the Gothic mansion or the dilapidated shack of your average teen horror flick. And the kids themselves are a relatively unassuming, likeable bunch. There’s no wild partying, precious little alcohol consumption and no illicit sex, and indeed for the first half an hour they’re a pretty dull bunch – although you’re never given a good reason to wish any of them dead, either.

What follows in the last third is mostly consistent with the premise, and includes a couple of modestly achieved jump shocks that will have you leaping from your seat. The performances, from a group of largely untested actors, are uniformly excellent, and a number of elements are prudently left to the imagination.

Shrewdly, Beckoning the Butcher is presented as a documentary, the use of post-mayhem interviews intercut with the location footage saving it from feeling like an overambitious home movie, while allowing for an uncontrived surprise ending. These sequences might not work as well as the rest of the film – it’s difficult to capture naturalism in as contrived an environment as a staged interview – but they do succeed in breaking up the necessarily unkempt found footage elements.

A qualified and surprisingly agreeable success.

Extras: commentary, deleted scenes.

300: RISE OF AN EMPIRE



BLU-RAY REVIEW: 300: RISE OF AN EMPIRE / CERT: 15 / DIRECTOR: NOAM MURRO / SCREENPLAY: ZACK SNYDER, KURT JOHNSTAD / STARRING: SULLIVAN STAPLETON, RODRIGO SANTORO, EVA GREEN, LENA HEADEY, JACK O’CONNELL / RELEASED: OUT NOW

Based on Frank Miller’s Xerxes graphic novel, this sequel to Zack Snyder’s 2006 300 picks things up after the death of Gerard Butler’s Leonidas and the 300 that gave their lives at the climax of Snyder’s movie. With Queen Gorgo (Headey) dealing with the loss of her husband and the threat of the Persian forces, a politically minded Greek general by the name of Thermistokles (Sullivan) steps up to the plate to try and unite Greece for the greater good against their powerful Persian foes, led by the Godlike Xerxes (Santoro) and badass navy commander Artemisia (Green).

300: Rise of an Empire is a strange beast. It manages to balance being its own film and story whilst also feeling very much like its predecessor. Still, the end result is a film that doesn’t ever truly hit the heights of the first film. The film oozes classic Miller-style dialogue, with many a strong, uplifting, rallying speech included. And then there’s the bloodshed – the glorious bloodshed. Lashings of blood flood the screen during some of the more intense battles, complete with various limbs being lopped off, made even more surprising given that the film is only a 15 rating. We guess with it being CGI blood, all rules are off when it comes to the censors. And the blood isn’t the only thing that is CGI in Murro’s movie.

Similar to 300, this is a film that has extensive, major work done in post-production. Again similar to Snyder’s original movie, the film, at times, looks absolutely stunning. Whilst not having quite the same grainy, gritty feel and look of the first film, Rise of an Empire still manages to impress, even if it sometimes comes across as the more smartly groomed sibling to Snyder’s scruffy older brother. It’s only when watching the interesting, informative featurettes included in the release that you see just how much work is done after the event, much like 300 or the two Sin City movies.

In terms of performances, Sullivan Stapleton does a decent job in heading up the film, whilst Eva Green is fantastic as Artemisia, delivering a no-nonsense female shit-kicker with a mean streak a mile long. Both Lena Headey and Rodrigo Santoro do well in their respective roles, although they always come across as the side orders to the main dish of Thermistokles and Artemisia. Callan Mulvey and Jack O’Connell do well when given their moments to shine as part of Thermistokles army, whilst there’s also plenty of appearances from characters introduced in 300.

In terms of adrenaline, action, bulging machismo and bare flesh (Eva Green looking particularly spectacular in the Blu-ray transfer), 300: Rise of an Empire offers plenty. It manages the job of expanding the story of the first film but still carves its own path, although still falls a little short when held up against its predecessor. Still, this is a film that has plenty to offer genre fans and fans of the source material.

Special Features: Five featurettes

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LEPRECHAUN: ORIGINS

DVD REVIEW: LEPRECHAUN: ORIGINS / CERT: 18 / DIRECTOR: ZACH LIPOVSKY / SCREENPLAY: HARRIS WILKINSON / STARRING: DYLAN “HORNSWOGGLE” POSTL, STEPHANIE BENNET, ANDREW DUNBAR / RELEASE DATE: OCTOBER 6TH

If we are being honest, Mark Jones’ original Horror Leprechaun from 1993, despite its now cult classic status, was not a good film – neither funny nor horrific. In fact, was it not for the enigmatic commitment of Warwick Davis in the title role, the film would have been long forgotten as opposed to spawning an inexplicable franchise. Davis has been there for all 6 films in the series, which has seen the murderous little fella working his dark magic from space to ‘da hood’. However, this WWE Studios-backed reboot decides to take things to a darker tone, replacing the original film’s comedy/horror blend with full-blooded slasher-esque horror and replacing Davis’ wise (and skull) cracking Leprechaun with their own midget wrestler, Dylan “Hornswoggle” Postl. Sadly, Irish eyes (or any for that matter) won’t be smiling much with a pretty pointless reboot that’s biggest achievement is that it is not quite as bad as you imagine… even if it is still bad.

The film sees a group of American students visiting a remote Irish village. When one of the villagers gives them a cabin and promise of seeing a hidden treasure of an Irish landmark, how can they refuse? However, something lurks in the landscape and this travelling holiday soon becomes a horrific battle with an old and dangerous creature. WWE Studios and Lionsgate’s attempt at reinventing the source material as a full-blooded horror is, as Bane might say, admirable but mistaken. The real problem is that Leprechaun: Origins, in spite of a mythological tint, really has nothing new to say. The reboot/remake bares no similarity with its source material and instead feels Cabin in the Woods meets The Descent, without the scares, meat and memorability of either.

In fairness though, it is safe to say that things could have been a lot worse and it is undeniably good to see the use of make-up, always much welcome over CGI and perhaps the closest factor that this reboot shares with the old school creature features it’s trying to replicate. Plus the cast are not as bad as you might expect, despite the string of highly stereotypical roles they are given. There really was a chance that something could be done here in creating a brand new mythology to the series, but Lipovsky doesn’t seem to have the hand to capture it nor Wilkinson have the edge in his script. The pre-title opening really does give the impression you are in for a right old stinker, and while some credibility is saved, there is no doubt that this reboot’s main offence is not that it is entirely meritless but that it is mostly pointless.

The unwieldy camerawork makes certain scenes pretty difficult to decipher, meaning that this might as well have been a found-footage film. In one particular car assault sequence it is almost impossible to decide whether the editing is just bad or whether there is more than one creature. The make-up may have transformed Postl but it has not saved the film, and the creature is so choppily captured that it contributes to the film’s regular knock-off, fan-made feel, especially the pre-title opening and spontaneous climax. The climax may leave the film open for sequels, and indeed the film is not entirely useless, but at less than 90 minutes in length, Leprechaun: Origins’ story still feels way overstretched and this reboot is proof that the franchise’s pot of gold is all but empty, to be sure.

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AFFLICTED

DVD REVIEW: AFFLICTED / CERT: 18 / DIRECTOR: DEREK LEE, CLIF PROWSE / SCREENPLAY: DEREK LEE, CLIF PROWSE / STARRING: DEREK LEE, CLIF PROWSE, MICHAEL GILL, BAYA REHAZ / RELEASE DATE: OCTOBER 6TH

Just as Guillermo del Toro’s The Strain has hit its stride on UK TV, it is somewhat ironic that a film like Afflicted has come along, too. As both seem to be singing from the same vampiric hymn sheet in their motives to expel The Twilight Saga-led romanticism of the modern vampire film and take it back to its plague-like roots onscreen, established by F.W. Murneau’s Nosferatu. It is no spoiler to mention the fanged fiends, as after a while you have an idea just what affliction Afflicted concerns and, despite the hesitation many may approach the film with upon hearing that Derek Lee and Clif Prowse’s horror is a found footage film, Afflicted is a fang-tastic offering and well worth seeking out.

The plot sees best friends Derek and Clif set out on a round the world trip and aim to document and upload their journey online. However, after a few days, an encounter with a female in Paris leaves Derek injured. He makes a speedy recovery, however, but begins to show signs that all is not right with his body and mind. Afflicted may indeed boast a familiar set-up, but with the saturation of the genre that is to be expected, and once Derek’s unfortunate romantic experience occurs, the film really kicks into full-blooded gear. Lee and Prowse are clearly passionate about the genres they are covering, and their film, with any luck, will be discovered as a shining example of why there is still life in the found-footage film yet. Afflicted is a superbly well made film, with sympathetic characters and a tone akin to Chronicle, Rec 2 and in some small ways Cronenberg’s The Fly.

The whole issue of “why keep filming” is well explained and used to power the plot, which is (for the most part) pacey and intelligent. For instance, where most films would showcase such events undeterred by the real world, Afflicted has the brain to realise that such occurrences would draw the attention and focus of the police. Lee and Prowse essentially play themselves onscreen, and that blurring of reality makes for a playful companion to the more fantastical gory horror beats and occasional chase thrills. The shooting is intuitive and the POV chase sequences astoundingly captured, and while the film does build slowly into things (and not without a certain amount of clichés), the payoff is worthwhile and entertaining. The title takes on a double meaning (as Derek’s character was essentially afflicted before that night in Paris) and thus raises a moral question of whether life is worthwhile; when you are restrained, to what extent do you live it.

Afflicted is a superbly made piece of found-footage horror with realistic effects and make-up, and while it is not always frightening, the story is enticing to see play out. Considering the rather underwhelming state of modern mainstream horror, a film like Afflicted is further proof that the best the genre has to offer can be found on the independent circuit. Afflicted is gruesome, entertaining and well acted by its newly debuting (for a full feature film) writer/actor/director duo Prowse and Lee, who have a great amount of potential on this evidence. Afflicted is rough around the edges but excellent, interspersed with strong leads, action, and astoundingly good use of budget. If that post-credits scene is indeed teasing a sequel then you will find no complaints coming from us. If you want it in short, Afflicted is bloody good.

Extras: A conversation with the actors/directors / Audio commentary with Derek Lee & Clif Prowse

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THE CHILDREN’S FILM FOUNDATION COLLECTION – OUTER SPACE

DVD REVIEW: THE CHILDREN’S FILM FOUNDATION COLLECTION – OUTER SPACE / CERT: PG / DIRECTOR: VARIOUS / SCREENPLAY: VARIOUS / STARRING: BILL OWEN, BEN BUCKTON / RELEASE DATE: OUT NOW

Those of us old enough to remember Saturday matinees at the local cinema will certainly have fond memories of The Children’s Film Foundation who, for thirty years, provided wholesome films that we youngsters devoured with glee.

The British Film Institute has now gathered some of these features from the vault and lovingly restored them to a picture quality never before seen and have released them on DVD. Make no mistake about it, these transfers are absolutely awesome.

The bad thing about the package is that charming though these movies are, other than having a historic and nostalgic value, the films themselves are very much a product of their far simpler times, and were aimed toward a far less sophisticated and demanding audience than any similar film would be today, rendering them a bit obsolete.

There are three films on the disc:

Supersonic Saucer (1956) involves a puppet creature who can transform himself into a flying saucer, and assists a gang of children who have to stay at their boarding school over the holidays in their adventure to thwart a gang of criminals. It’s as though Enid Blyton took a stab at writing science fiction.

Kadoyng (1972) is the story of an alien (wearing, incidentally an interesting and unmistakable hand-me-down – one of the alien space suits from Gerry Anderson’s UFO series) who helps the intrepid kids prevent the levelling of their village by a corrupt developer who wants to build one of those new-fangled motorways through it.

The last feature is Glitterball (1977), where an alien galactic silver ball who’s just trying to get back to his mothership, filled with other silver balls, helps two boys (complete with a tree house with Mr Spock posters on the wall and issues of ‘TV Sci-Fi’ strewn around) to thwart a devious, but hopelessly inept, petty crook.

Nostalgia really isn’t what it used to be, I’m afraid.

DADDY, I’M A ZOMBIE 2: DIXIE SAVES THE DAY

DVD REVIEW: DADDY, I’M A ZOMBIE 2: DIXIE SAVES THE DAY / CERT: U / DIRECTORS: BEÑAT BEITIA, RICARDO RAMÓN / SCREENPLAY: DANIEL TORRES / STARRING: KIMBERELY WHARTON, MJ LALLO / RELEASE DATE: OCTOBER 6TH

Following the tepid Spanish kids flick, Daddy, I’m a Zombie writer Daniel Torres’ follow-up continues in the same vein. The plot picks up where the 2011 film left off, with 13-year-old alt girl Dixie Grim getting back to normal following her stint as walking corpse.

Like a joke that goes on too long, Daddy I’m a Zombie 2: Dixie Saves the Day (AKA Mummy, I’m a Zombie) draws out an uninspired story, with Dixie and her zombie chums Isis and Gonner having to reinvigorate the Azoth (a mystical jewel) in order to stop the evil witch Nebulosa… again.

Visually, it’s As Told by Ginger in the style of Tim Burton, with an array of bizarre body shapes and cod-Gothic pretentions. The animation is cheap, and curiously, each character sports a shiny face.

It’s loaded with gags typical of kids’ films, from fart jokes to slapstick, though unlike Dreamworks or Pixar, there isn’t enough sly winks for adult viewers. Given its living dead fascination, a few nods to George A. Romero wouldn’t have gone amiss.

Filled with stereotypes (cat lady, spotty math nerd, bitchy popular girls) the film doesn’t offer viewers an awful lot, the moral of the story being integrity over popularity. If you want something with a bit more brains, revisit Corpse Bride. 

NINJA APOCALYPSE

DVD REVIEW: NINJA APOCALYPSE / CERT: 15 / DIRECTOR: LLOYD LEE BARNETT / SCREENPLAY: ASHLEY SCOTT MEYERS / STARRING: CHRISTIAN OLIVER, LES BRANDT, CARY-HIROYUKI TAGAWA / RELEASE DATE: OUT NOW

So there’s been this apocalypse. There’s loads of angry ninjas and they go down into a secret underground nuclear bunker (which looks suspiciously like an abandoned factory) where they fight some other angry ninjas and a few extras dressed as zombies. Now and again, they throw around a few pretty bolts of light and a few people die which upsets some other people. The end.

Some films are so dull and pointless that the clichéd “just switch off your brain” advice just isn’t enough. To get the most out of Ninja Apocalypse, we can only advise complete brain removal; you might wish to replace it with a lettuce or courgette or other vegetable of your choice. It’s not just that Ninja Apocalypse is bad (which it is, frankly) it’s more that it’s just terribly dull and utterly unengaging on just about every imaginable creative level. It appears that “years after the Great War” battling Ninja factions are beating the crap out of each other. Some of the Ninjas have developed whizzy mutant powers, which is handy because the various clans need to band together to fight off an anticipated attack by some nameless enemy. The Ninja Grandmaster calls a truce and summons the heads of the Ninja clans to his underground bunker/abandoned factory with the aim of banding all the Ninjas together to fight off the expected attack. But – horrors! – the Grandmaster is assassinated and the finger of suspicion points at Cage, head of the “Lost Ninja” clan (who appear to have been found pretty damned quickly). Cage and his clan of about four Ninjas have to fight their way out of the complex, fighting other Ninjas and a few zombies who are roaming about.

Horribly bland and charmless, Ninja Apocalypse will surely only appeal to undemanding action fans who still can’t resist the allure of any tacky film with the word ‘ninja’ in the title. The plot is thin to the point of anorexia, the visual effects (who out there doesn’t love spouting CGI blood?) strive for bargain basement level and the acting is nothing if not spirited. But this is a film about fighting and there’s plenty of it; in fairness, it’s all staged reasonably well but after about the seventh deadly Ninja duel you’re likely to find your mouth hanging open and a little trail of drool working its way down your chin. Don’t be tempted by the typically-misleading DVD cover which promises far more than this needless ninja nonsense actually delivers. Say no to these ninjas, however apocalyptic they may be.

FROM DUSK TILL DAWN: THE SERIES

DVD REVIEW: FROM DUSK TILL DAWN: THE SERIES / CERT: 18 / DIRECTORS: VARIOUS / SCREENPLAY: VARIOUS / STARRING: D.J. COTRONA, ZANE HOLTZ, ROBERT PATRICK, EIZA GONZÁLEZ, DON JOHNSON / RELEASE DATE: OUT NOW

You all know the story: Notorious modern-day smart-suited outlaws Richie and Seth Gecko are on the run and heading down to the Mexican Border, leaving a trail of death and destruction behind them. Yet, no matter how many times Seth (the good-looking smart one) tries to keep everything cool, his mentally addled brother, Richie (the geeky mass-murdering psychopath one) just can’t help but screw everything up. A few dead hostages later and the pair find themselves allied with a faith-questioning preacher called Jacob and his two kids who are heading south for their own life-affirming reasons. It’s an uneasy partnership which doesn’t get any easier once they pass the border and enter the Titty Twister bar, only to find the drinks are on them, and the staff are really, really thirsty.

And there, in a nutshell, is the biggest problem with this TV spin on Robert Rodriguez and Quentin Tarantino’s legendary action/horror: You know the story. Of course, with seven and a half hours of screen time to fill, the writing staff (which include Tarantino, Rodriguez, his brother and his cousin) has infused the story with a weightier back-story than the previous incarnations managed (making the prequel Hangman’s Daughter null and void). They’ve also embellished some of the characters motivations and added several new important players into the mix. But it doesn’t detract from the fact that ultimately this feels like an incredibly lengthy TV movie adaptation of a classic genre-breaking horror movie, with low-rent lookalikes spouting often-verbatim lines.

That said, this isn’t without merit. Some of the writing is smart and fun, and the horror and direction occasionally bounces out of the usual TV confines (usually when Rodriguez is directing). In all, Rodriguez directs four out of the 10-episode run and while early indications suggested that Tarantino and even Selma Hayek would get behind the camera on episodes, sadly this didn’t transpire. The casting is solid enough as Zane Holtz fills Quentin’s shoes, while D.J. Cotrona does his best George Clooney impression (head wobble and all). Returning to the franchise – albeit in a different role – is Robert Patrick as Jacob Fuller (consequently making the sequel Texas Blood Money null and void… probably just as well), while Jake Busey finally rears his head again as the groin-shooting Sex Machine. Eiza González turns in a suitably sexy performance as Santanico Pandemonium (the third person to do so), while Madison Davenport sadly lacks Juliette Lewis’s bite. Jesse Garcia turns out to be the surprise heart and soul of the series, playing the Texas Ranger on a mission for retribution, but it’s his mentor Sheriff McGraw that steals the show thanks to Don Johnson who stands tall as the only actor who manages to even remotely fill the shoes of their cinematic predecessor.

Without doubt, this series works best when it colours outside of the lines, although by the time it finally pulls away from its pale imitation of the original it’s almost too little too late. They must have done something right though as the show got renewed for a second season… maybe then we can really see whether the concept has what it takes to make the transition to TV.

Extras: There’s plenty on the DVD release, but we didn’t get to see any of them in time for press.

CRAWL OR DIE

DVD REVIEW: CRAWL OR DIE / CERT: TBA / DIRECTOR: OKLAHOMA WARD / SCREENPLAY: OKLAHOMA WARD / STARRING: NICOLE ALONSO, TOREY BYRNE, TOMMY BALL, WIL CROWN, MATTHEW STEPHEN CRABTREE / RELEASE DATE: TBA (UK); OUT NOW (R1)

Remember that sequence in Alien when Tom Skerritt went crawling around the Nostromo’s air ducts on an ill-fated hunt for the murderous star-beast? Instead of a mere five minutes, imagine that confined and encroaching dread lasting for an entire film, with a Special Forces unit tasked with transporting the last living fertile woman to a new planet being hunted by an alien entity through a constricting underground maze. A mutant chimera of insectoid clicking, reptilian skin, arachnid limbs, a bulbous skull and a wide maw, the creature hounding their escape is highly reminiscent of HR Giger’s aforementioned xenomorph (even down to oozing steaming slime from eldritch pores). Largely seen only through brief and deadly flashes of claws, tail or teeth, it’s a relentless and unstoppable black-hided monstrosity; but for all the atmospheric tension of its pursuit, it still falls second to the source of the story’s true terror.

As the film progresses, anyone with even a hint of claustrophobia will begin to physically squirm. Each successive tunnel to be traversed is smaller than the last, forcing the dwindling survivors to first edge along in a half-squat before crawling on their hands and knees, then sliding on their stomachs and finally inching forwards with only their fingers and toes given enough space to laboriously advance their movement inch by torturous inch. The regular close ups are both intimate and intrusive, making us feel as though we are trapped with them in the confines of the shrinking tunnels, where a single twist to a wrong angle constantly threatens to immobilise them in cramped contortion. We can practically smell the dry earth and choke on its arid dust; taste the stale, recycled air they’re forced to breathe and toil along with them as the stifling oppression of their treacherous body heat drenches them with layers of clammy sweat, coating them in a second skin of suffocating dirt.

Front and centre of proceedings is Nicole Alonso as the stoic Tank, an aptly-named juggernaut of wire muscle, punk hair and icy resolve. She evokes the badassery of both Sigourney Weaver and Linda Hamilton in each of their iconic survivalist roles, along with the look and attitude of Lisbeth Salander and the raw physical durability of Kiwi stuntwoman Zoë Bell thrown in for good measure. Although it’s not long before she’s stripped down to her skivvies (first losing her jacket for unconstrained movement and then her trousers to tear into makeshift bandages), it doesn’t feel gratuitous nor for the sake of cheap titillation. In fact, given Tank’s impassive bearing and confrontational demeanour, it’s almost as though she’s daring you to comment on how she looks and see what happens.

Crawl or Die calls to mind the deadly, unnavigable labyrinth of Cube, the pitch black subterranean tombs of The Descent and the inexorable despair of both. It will make you uneasy and uncomfortable, but its heart-pounding, nerve-shredding, claustrophobic terror also imbues you with a kind of adrenal masochism preventing you from looking away even for a moment.