We live in a post-Birdemic world. When it comes to ‘so bad it’s good’ zero-budget animal massacre movies, the rules all changed with James Nguyen’s 2010 rip-off of Hitchcock’s The Birds that had geeks wondering if its awful effects, sound, acting, camerawork and, well, everything else were genuine or some kind of feature-length prank. Any attempt to emulate such tragic incompetence was always going to flounder and, sure enough, Birdemic 2 was an altogether more self-conscious product. So what’s an aspiring indie outfit to do if they want to go down the same route but with that vital innocence lost? Only one thing for it – non-stop jokes and gratuitous lady flesh!
The plot to The Beaster Bunny is simple and to the point: giant zombie bunny messily kills lots of stupid people. The plentiful jokes are generally terrible but, to be fair, they do seem to wave at you in advance as if to say ‘awful pun incoming!’ so you at least get the chance to duck. You’ll probably know if you’re going to last the course within the first 15 minutes because by that point, writer-directors The Snygg Brothers have already laid on a blizzard of poor gags, a couple of dismemberings and loads of female nudity. Mind you, that probably makes it sound better than it is.
Effects are generally of the ‘look what I knocked up in After Effects last night!’ variety but some of the gore work is pretty innovative. Look out in particular for a homage to Evil Dead 2’s flying eyeball scene that, depending on your state of indulgence, may raise a genuine laugh. You might also appreciate the chain-smoking dude who gets decapitated and still finds time to exhale. Quite funny, that. The bunny itself is atrocious on every level; a rancid, half-zombified horrorshow badly composited into the nudie action like a refugee from the Bagpus toyshop popping up in an old Electric Blue video. Casting is by a guy called Bob Gonzo and, sure enough, he must be having a laugh. You’ll look far and wide for a more inept ensemble cast than this unless your local amateur dramatic society is having a go at The Deer Hunter, in which case, bingo.
It starts quite well with a genuinely funny wedding speech from a disgruntled stoner whose rich old Dad has just ditched the poor dude’s mother and married a hot young damsel. If the line ‘I hope you enjoy his olds balls’ doesn’t get you where it hurts there really is no justice in the world. If the rest of the script had been as good as this first scene we’d be looking at the Citizen Kane of giant bastard bunny movies, as opposed to the Citizen Smith.
If you’re a connoisseur of wannabe-bad movies, there are definitely things to enjoy about The Beaster Bunny, but it’s all been done before and it’s all been done much worse.
THE BEASTER BUNNY / CERT: 15 / DIRECTORS & SCREENPLAY: THE SNYGG BROTHERS / STARRING: JON ARTHUR, KRISTINA BEDOUIN, VALERIE BITTNER / RELEASE DATE: 3RD APRIL
