What The Hell Did I Just Read? is the third in the John Dies At The End series, written by the protagonist, David Wong – who is actually Cracked.com writer Jason Pargin.
Don’t panic if you haven’t read the previous two books as you could dive right in here, although you would be missing out on a whole load of batshit insanity.
John, a drug addict, and David, an unemployed dumbass, have been drafted in to help out on what appears to be a simple child abduction but, this being set in a universe where a drug called Soy Sauce can either kill you or give you the ability to see the supernatural, it was never going to be that straightforward.
So instead, David, John and David’s girlfriend, the one handed Amy, find themselves the main suspects in said abductions after they find the first kid only to have the child accuse David of being her abductor. Another child goes missing and is found in a closet in David’s house and they are arrested and taken to a secret site where a shady team of apparent government agents are very interested in what’s actually going on.
They receive assistance in the form of a supernatural expert in the shape of Dr. Marconi and Korean porn star Joy Park and stumble from one plot point to another, somehow managing to stay alive as they do.
It would be unfair to spoil the surprises that crop up, but it’s fair to advise that the kids are not what they originally appear to be and, if you’ve read the two previous novels in this series, that will come as no real surprise at all.
Add to this a flying monster that may or may not be helping our heroes that is christened the BATMANTIS??? (yes, that is literally how it is referred to) and you’ve got a recipe for probably the most insane book you’ll read this year.
It’s not going to win any Pulitzer prizes, but if you like your fiction with a large twist of craziness injected, then you’re going to have a lot of enjoyment as you’ll literally want to keep reading to see how the main characters will survive as they battle the bad guys with dildo cannons and ancient obsidian spears.
A book’s title has never been more prophetic as to how you’ll feel when you finish it.
WHAT THE HELL DID I JUST READ? / AUTHOR: DAVDI WONG / PUBLISHER: TITAN / RELEASE DATE: OUT NOW