There is a line where a film crosses over from simply being not very good to being so-bad-its-good. We all know the ones, when something, or everything, is so unutterably awful that the film develops a certain charm. Gory scenes full of fake blood become enthralling, woefully constructed monsters or gradually loosening make-up become endearing, and wooden, sub-pantomime levels of acting become the funniest thing you’ve ever seen. There is a place for those films, a warm, fuzzy, comforting place that keeps us coming back for repeat viewing.
But there are also films that are just bad. When nothing on screen remotely redeems the 90 minutes or so lost to their dreary existence. American Poltergeist: The Curse Of Lilith Ratchet is one such film.
Firstly, let’s deal with that title. This isn’t a film about a poltergeist. It’s about a curse. A curse that stems from the shrunken head of a murderess executed in the 19th century. To rouse the ghost hidden in said head, you recount a rhyme, a rhyme so ridiculous that it could have been written by any 5-year old with a basic grasp of the English language. One character even remarks that it reads like a nursery rhyme without a hint of irony.
Then there is the acting. To say it’s hammy would be doing a disservice to your favourite pig-related sandwich filling, as the cast labour between expressions so blank they resemble a whiteboard and ridiculous overacting you’d get thrown out of drama school in the first week for. Only Rob Jaeger as podcast host Hunter Perry – who seems to enjoy a popstar level of recognition and fame – seems to understand the depth to which he has plumbed in this film, and camps it up at every opportunity.
Finally – we could go on but lack the strength – there is Lilith Ratchet herself. Dressed like a forgotten extra from Crimson Peak with a face that looks more alarmed than frightening, this summoned spook proceeds on a murderous path until all the teens are murdered. There is very little threat about her existence and the final showdown is as disappointing as everything that has gone before.
No-one sets out to make a bad movie, but there must be a point when filmmakers understand when they have. This is a film that could have rescued some semblance of interest from a couple of more intentionally comedic moments, could have garnered a little goodwill from a few knowing glances, but sadly that never happens. What we have is a film that offers nothing more than a tiresome antagonist and characters whose names you’ll forget even while watching. Don’t waste your time.
AMERICAN POLTERGEIST: THE CURSE OF LILITH RATCHET / CERT: UNRATED / DIRECTOR & SCREENPLAY: EDDIE LENGYEL / STARRING: KATELYNN E. NEWBERRY, ROB JAEGER, ROGER CONNERS / RELEASE DATE: OUT NOW
