With just one match of England’s World Cup campaign played at the time of writing, perhaps the biggest talking point outside of Tunisian attempts to drag Harry Kane into a spot of on-pitch wrestling came off the field of play when the much-rumoured trailer for Series 11 of Doctor Who failed to materialise at either half or full time during BBC Sport’s coverage from Volgograd.
Of course, anyone who saw last year’s men’s Wimbledon final will know Jodie Whittaker is no stranger to such things – the short scene confirming her casting was broadcast following Roger Federer’s win on Centre Court, a spectacle beyond even the machine mind of K-9 going by the events of The Stones Of Blood when he takes an instruction from the first incarnation of his mistress all too literally after she herself struggles with the most English of idioms spewed forth from the mouth of the man she’s been thrown together with by the White Guardian.
DOCTOR: Anyone for tennis?
ROMANA: Tennis?
DOCTOR: Yes, it’s an English expression. It means, is anyone coming outdoors to get soaked?
For her part, she knows nothing of the solid thwack of racquet on ball. Nor will the tin dog soon enough! “Forget. Erase memory banks concerning tennis. Memory erased.” The whole business, though, does raise a fair few questions. Firstly, when are we actually going to get a trailer? Secondly, would splicing a trailer into the coverage of the Three Lions really have been such a bad idea?
Consider the facts. Viewing figures released in the aftermath of the nervy 2-1 win for Gareth Southgate’s men suggest an average 13.7 million people fought the urge to put their feet through the screen and/or watched through their hands. Particularly as Kyle Walker’s elbow made contact with Fakhredine Ben Youssef and the resulting penalty was tucked away to make it all square, when it had earlier seemed there could only be one winner…
If we cross the pond just for a second we also have perhaps the most convincing argument for such a placement. Swapping the round ball for one of a more oval variety, the traditional NFL season finale- to use a spot of American telly parlance-brings with it a chance for the enterprising television network or film studio to muscle in on the popularity of the Super Bowl with the wider viewing public of the land of the free and home of the brave.
Trailers for several of the bigger cinematic and televisual releases, some of which went on to be reviewed in these hallowed pages, formed part of the spectacle as the Philadelphia Eagles stunned the New England Patriots 41-33 in this year’s showpiece, the most recent example of a long and productive relationship between the medium and one of the highlights of the US sporting calendar.
In light of which it seems almost an oversight to think that we got nothing of the sort during any similar event on these shores pre-Whittaker at Wimbledon. Not even a sniff of Who as an England then led by Steve McClaren kicked off 2006’s World Cup in Germany with a 1-0 win over Paraguay, part two of the Impossible Planet/Satan Pit doubleheader getting underway after a Carlos Gamarra own goal ensured a decent start for the Wally with the Brolly (as he was later dubbed by the tabloids) in the hottest seat in the country.
Fast forward to 2010 and we’d actually get a Doctor with aspirations of playing the beautiful game himself- on a far grander stage than Sunday League for the Kings’ Arms. Only a back injury stopped Matt Smith from pursuing the beautiful game as a career, though it took a Desert Island Discs appearance for him to really open up.
“It was a tough time because I just felt unfulfilled, to be honest, I felt like I was so certain that that is what I was going to do. Fortuitously there was a drama teacher, Terry Hardingham, who said, ‘you were never meant to be a footballer, I always thought you were really great at acting’.”
He was, he later confirmed, also banned from taking part in a weekly kickabout for cast and crew in case he injured himself! ‘I’d love to play football now. Everyone at work plays on Tuesdays, but they won’t let me. I guess it’s the insurance companies and, realistically, if I turn my ankle over and we can’t shoot, then we’re screwed, aren’t we? You just can’t. It’s a small price to pay.’
Unless you count a solid 90 minutes alongside Craig Owens?
DOCTOR: Pub league. A drinking competition?
CRAIG: No, football. Play football.
DOCTOR: Football. Football. Yes, blokes play football. I’m good at football, I think.
Wearing the number 11 shirt he goes on to prove that indeed he is – BBC Sport tying in a special mini-episode of Football Focus as part of Doctor Who Confidential showing highlights of a win over the Rising Sun.
Though we never see the outcome of the following weekend’s game with the Crown and Anchor. Perhaps Smith and everyone else involved had one eye on preserving themselves for the bigger match on the Tuesday?
Or simply like most of the rest of the country wanted to nurse a pint and watch another English World Cup campaign get underway in South Africa with a 1-1 draw against the United States following a goalkeeping blunder by Robert Green over on ITV, kick off immediately following the final whistle of the Kings Arms match.
Disappointing perhaps, but better overall than the previous such meeting between the two in Brazil in 1950, a then part-time US team beating the Three Lions 1-0 well before their country’s turn to host the tournament and a Diana Ross missed penalty during the opening ceremony.
And yes, you did read that right! Whether the BBC will be left with its head in its hands ruing the missed opportunity to get a little more exposure for our newest Doctor minus of course the spot kicks (though Jodie doing a Diana might have been a more entertaining spectacle in itself than what we got instead, a 5-0 Russian whitewash of poor hapless Saudi Arabia) remains to be seen in lieu of an actual preview – but for now, they think it’s all over…
