Let us begin with a confession. Zombie Women of Satan 2 was destined for a review score of zero. That it is receiving a measly, and yet at the same time monumental, the score of one is based purely on the assumption that the filmmakers don’t know any better, and as such deserve our sympathy. So, one it is.
The reasons for the paltry score are numerous, too many to mention in fact, but several do need highlighting. To kick things off, it is nothing short of astonishing that there is a ‘2’ in the title, leading you to the obvious and sigh-inducing conclusion that this is not the first film to carry the words Zombie Women of Satan in that order; spare yourself the trauma and don’t bother seeking out the original – it’s beyond terrible also. Anyway, this sequel picks up with its predecessor’s ‘hero’ Pervo the Clown (actor, writer, producer, director and the man principally to blame Warren Speed) coming to the end of his fifteen minutes of fame after releasing a film based on the events from the first film. Still with us? In a desperate attempt to regain popularity, and in a meta twist no-one wanted, Pervo heads off on tour to promote this sequel. Lured to a mystery party with the promise of investment, Pervo and his team are set upon by a family bent on revenge.
As confusingly dumb as the plot is, Zombie Women of Satan 2 is made wholly unwatchable through the filmmaker’s insistence in peppering the story with random scenes of unpleasant sexual deviance. Whether it be supposedly comedic sado-masochism, misguided ‘hilarious’ homosexual insinuations or simply sub-Benny Hill levels of preposterous nudity, this is a film tedious in its attempts to shock or titillate. No stone of pubescent fantasy is left unturned as Speed guides you clumsily through a mishmash of set pieces and tropes lazily stolen from the worst grindhouse cinema has to offer.
As you might expect the performances are dreadful, yet given the lines that the cast are given, it is perhaps understandable they are not delivered with any level of conviction. And the direction? Well, that’s just terrible. If Zombie Women of Satan 2 is some kind of cinematic joke, then it is as ill-conceived as it is unfunny. Bordering on the offensive, it is a film to be avoided, which should be easy enough as we cannot imagine where you would find it. Do not allow your curiosity to get the better of you, however; Zombie Women of Satan 2 is far worse than could possibly be expressed here. We’re just sorry we had to write about it at all. Should you wish to experience it for yourself, you can purchase the DVD from www.growlingclown.com.
ZOMBIE WOMEN OF SATAN 2 / CERT: TBC / DIRECTOR & SCREENPLAY: WARREN SPEED, CHRIS GREENWOOD / STARRING: WARREN SPEED, PETE BENNETT, KATHY PAUL, CAROLINE ELYSSIA, IAN BROWN / RELEASE DATE: OUT NOW
