A teenage girl fancies herself a modern Joan of Arc in this adaptation of Don Roff’s best-selling novel Clare at 16. Directed by Mitzi Peirone and starring Bella Thorne as the titular Clare, its story follows the teenage serial killer as she investigates a human trafficking conspiracy on her own doorstep.
The murderous high schooler may or may not know how Joan of Arc felt, but she’s doing good work regardless – offing creeps and psychos in small town America. And, if all the recent disappearances are anything to go by, there’s a few of them about.
This black comedy thriller plays somewhere between Dexter and Buffy the Vampire Slayer, balancing Clare’s murderous proclivities with her high school antics; starring in the school play one minute, investigating a sleazy sex dungeon the next. If it feels like a TV show, it’s at its strongest when it leans into its monster-of-the-week type story, with Clare searching for clues at a boozy house party and purposefully getting herself kidnapped by the comically incompetent villains.
Unfortunately, Thorne is a vacuum in the leading role, failing to sell either dangerous serial killer or mischievous schoolgirl. She’s better when she’s exploring Clare’s sad past, but the character is never as interesting as the things she does. Thankfully, Rebecca De Mornay and Frank Whaley are on hand to liven things up as Clare’s gran and the, uh, dead mailman, respectively. Ryan Phillippe’s role in the thing is obvious, but what the film is really lacking is convincing villains, and there’s never a sense that Clare has met her match in the weirdos and losers she faces here.
Saint Clare’s goofier elements clash with its heavy-handed religious imagery and its star’s po-faced attempts at seriousness. There’s a fun Jennifer’s Body buried in there somewhere, but it never comes together into a cohesive whole.
SAINT CLARE premiered at Pigeon Shrine FrightFest on August 25th, 2024 and will be released on digital via 101 Films later this year – date TBC.
