THE SECRET LIFE OF PETS 2 / CERT: U / DIRECTOR: CHRIS RENAUD, JONATHAN DEL VAL / WRITER: BRIAN LYNCH / STARRING: PATTON OSWALT, KEVIN HART, HARRISON FORD, JENNY SLATE / RELEASE DATE: OUT NOW
We love it when a film that we’re expecting to be boring and formulaic surprises us, breaking the mould and shows true creative spark and imagination. Movies require a lot of time, energy, and cash to make, and every single feature will have had someone somewhere who put their heart and soul into a project. Dull movies are hard to review, simply because it’s just as un-interesting to be mean about them.
Sadly, The Secret Life of Pets 2 sits up and begs to slated. It’s as tedious as its predecessor. You may be wondering if it says anything that wasn’t addressed in part one. Did the first movie answer the question “What do animals do when their owners are away” successfully? No, of course it didn’t, that would have made for mind-numbingly awful cinema. Instead, it gave us a terrible affair, using old gags and cute moments to distract us from the utter emptiness of the piece.
Pets 2 is very much more of the same, but more so, like staring into an abyss composed of pink candyfloss. Despite the fact that the lead voice actor has been changed between movies, it’s not as if you’re going to notice. Let’s face it, the entire series only exists because movie producers are desperate to make money out of the plethora of cute animal videos that you can find on social media. Create animated versions of popular pets, get some comic talent to do the voice acting, recycle a plot from a more popular movie and you’re done.
The plot, such as it is, centres around a terrier called Max. His owner suddenly has a child (seriously, this is all done in montage) and he has to cope with ‘adulthood’ as he never wanted to be a dad. Meanwhile, his rabbit friend has delusions of awesomeness as its owner keeps putting them in superhero pyjamas. It feels as if at some point, this movie was a heart-warming tale of growing up to one’s responsibilities, understanding your limitations and growing together as a family. Alas, what we get is a bunch of jokes that have been done to death. The character design is nice, though.
You may be thinking that this is a cute film for kids, and that’s unfair on children. We live in a golden age of intelligent and entertaining cartoon features and series. Many of which have daft jokes about bodily functions and squeaky voices, just like Pets 2. This movie is a gaudy greetings card, a facsimile of fun presented to children with the cynicism of an adult who considers kids to be stupid. Children might well laugh, but they’ll be as entertained by a sugary drink and another cookie, both of which are more memorable than this.
