Someone, somewhere must get a kick out of pittance-budget historical action dramas in which him off the telly, you know he’s in that thing we watch, a few hopefuls just out of acting school and a handful of extras trudge around the English countryside (although, in fairness, this time it’s Welsh countryside) caked in mud and pretending to fight one another. Now and again they shout “Arrrrghhh” and swing Poundworld plastic axes around their heads. If you count yourself in this elite band of the easily pleased, The Lost Viking is just for you and we really hope you have an enjoyable hundred minutes in its company.
A family of Viking ne’er-do-wells come ashore on the Welsh coast in olden days and no sooner have they set up their beach barbecue than they’re attacked by a vicious rival gang led by Wyman (Ross O’Hennessy who’s been in Game of Thrones, apparently) and young buck Vitharr (Dean Ridge who has previously starred on TV’s Vikings and who, we’d imagine, must be worrying a little about typecasting) can only watch helplessly as his entire family is brutally slain. Vitharr flees for his life, Wyman and his heavies in hot pursuit. Vitharr tries to fight back and, after being befriended by a friendly religious hermit, he falls into the clutches of tuppence-ha’penny Roman Centurion Cassis Dominus (James Groom) who has set up an amphitheatre (it’s marginally larger than the average garden feature) in which he forces his ragged prisoners to engage in fairly timid and not-entirely convincing combat… to the death! Unsurprisingly, Vitharr rises through the ranks, dispatching all comers, chumming up with the feisty Herja (Kezia Burrows) as he manoeuvres himself into position to exact his revenge upon the man who destroyed his family. Hang on, Romans and Vikings??? Oh, well, suspension of disbelief and all that…
The Lost Viking isn’t actually as terrible as we might have feared – which is not to suggest for a moment that it’s in any way a particularly worthwhile use of your time. Some low budget, ambitious movies can use their tiny resources to their advantage but The Lost Viking, despite its competent use of wild and windswept Welsh locations, wears its lack of cash on its grubby sleeve. Admittedly, it’s a fairly low-key story but it still feels small – the amphitheatre sequences just look feeble, fights are lively but never gritty enough and scenes in Wyman’s encampment are realised, a little embarrassingly, by throwing a few white bedsheets over a frame and hoping for the best. On the plus side, the lead performances are gutsy and the script has an earnestness which does its best to paper over the cracks but the film’s dour tone quickly becomes wearing and there’s precious little in the narrative to justify its generous running time.
If you really can’t get enough of raging, pillaging Norsemen and tepid fight scenes, The Lost Viking will probably be your cup of mead. Anyone else might want to turn their longship in another direction and seek out something a bit more entertaining.
THE LOST VIKING / CERT: 15 / DIRECTOR: EMMET CUMMINS / SCREENPLAY: EMMET CUMMINS, DAVID SHILLITOE / STARRING: DEAN RIDGE, ROSS O’HENNESSY, KEZIA BURROWS, JAMES GROOM / RELEASE DATE: OUT NOW
