Here at STARBURST, we have us a huge, huge, huge soft spot for all things Troma. And top of that Troma-rific pile is the poster boy of all things Troma and star of the Toxic Avenger movies himself, Toxie. Well now comes word that Toxie is next in line to get the redo treatment. We know, we’re not exactly keen either…

Deadline is reporting that Sausage Party co-director Conrad Vernon has been tasked with remaking 1984’s The Toxic Avenger. Archers’ Mike Arnold and Chris Poole are on board to pen the screenplay. This new take on a cult favourite will be a more grounded version of the original movie… because… because… because… yeah, we’ve got nothing, sorry.

In fairness, Vernon, Arnold and Poole are some great choices to bring in if you’re going to remake The Toxic Avenger, it’s just that there really doesn’t seem to be any real need to remake the movie in the first place. A more grounded, slick film kinda defeats a lot of the point of the original, and it would also take away a lot of the charm of what has been so special about Toxie and his world over the years.

For those not familiar with The Toxic Avenger, the basic premise saw nerdy janitor Melvin end up transforming into the hulking, deformed Toxic Avenger after one too many run-ins with local bullies (and some conveniently-placed chemicals). With enhanced strength, Melvin uses his trusty mop to brutally clean up the local streets. From there, there’d be three sequels, a ’90s cartoon series, and even a musical in recent years. As mentioned, Toxie is the poster boy of Troma and stands to represent so much of what Lloyd Kaufman and Co. are all about. Giving the character a grounded redo just seems like a bizarre idea to us, but we guess we’ll just have to wait and see what comes of this before we fully cast judgement.

Regardless, expect more on this as we get it.