September 12 is a big day for classic, cult science fantasy fans as 20th Century Fox not only hit us with their hotly anticipated Blu-ray release of the Star Wars films, but you’ll also be able to pick up the third season of Irwin Allen’s underwater epic from your favourite stockist.

Our patience in waiting for the region 2 versions has been long and frustrating but it’s been worth the wait as the promise to release the entire four season run of Voyage in 2011 comes to fruition.

This third season began production in 1966, Irwin Allen’s most prolific year when he was also churning out the second season of Lost in Space and the only season of The Time Tunnel. Any attempt at delivering a series based on any kind of feasible science fiction or credible espionage scenario had long been abandoned. Season 3 of Voyage was a wild colourful flight of fancy, buoyed at times by some of the most awful scripts to be committed to film – outside of Lost in Space’s third season. But having said that, the episodes are a lot of fun to watch as each and every week, the steadfast crew of the Seaview face just about anything and everything the script writers could imagine to throw at them. Watching the 26 episodes presented here is like watching a series of “Monster of the Week” B-movies.

Kicking off with Monster from the Inferno where a large brain-creature with delusions of world domination threatens to overrun the Seaview crew the mood of the ensuing episodes is set. As the episodes progress, the crew encounter a werewolf caused by the radioactive gas seeping from a volcano. The wolf attacks Admiral Nelson (Richard Basehart) with seemingly no effect until a later episode The Brand of the Beast in which Nelson is again accidentally exposed to radiation and becomes perhaps the first ginger furred lycanthrope seen on screen.

The Fossil Men is another memorable episode as Nelson and company encounter a race of men who have become part man, part rock due to submersion in what appears to be volcanic lava. It’s a mistake to question logic or common sense in these episodes – I’ve lost count of the number of times someone shoots a gun on the submerged submarine without worrying about puncturing the hull, it could actually form the basis of a drinking game – just enjoy the chill of seeing the fossil men emerge from the rock to the eerie theremin music Bernard Herrmann composed for The Day The Earth Stood Still, or of the sight of the Flying Sub soaring through the air before crash diving into the perfect blue ocean. Encounters with Wax Men, Heat Monsters, Plant Men, an evil three thousand year old Mummy, giant jellyfish and various amoeba monsters capable of shooting lightning bolts. They’re all here in glorious colour and the transfer to DVD is great with the added bonus of a choice of either the original monaural sound mix, of a new stereo soundtrack. No 5.1 option, sadly – but unsurprising in a series that is 45 years old.

Worthy of note is The Day The World Ended. This is the closest the season gets to any type of political storyline. A fanatical senator (Skip Homeier) wants to use the Seaview for his own evil purposes. Naturally, writer William Welch gives the plot an added lunatic twist – the senator happens to be the greatest master of mass hypnosis who ever lived and has convinced the crew that all the people in the world have disappeared, except for one lowly crew member. William Welch also penned an episode included here titled Day of Evil where a visitor from space tries to force nelson to destroy the Pacific Fleet with a nuclear missile. (Apparently, as the Seaview is the world’s first privately owned nuclear submarine, even individuals can own their personal nukes in the far flung future of 1980).

The 26 episodes are spread over seven discs, with the seventh also containing some cool special features giving added value to fans of the series.

There’s the third part of an interview with David Hedison, candidly recollecting his career as Captain Crane. This time he comments on the despair sometimes felt by classically trained theatre actor Richard Basehart having to resort to working on what material that was really beneath his talent and training in order to pay his alimony bills and he tells us about the origins of the famous Seaview Rock and Roll.

This term originated as a result of the scenes when the submarine encountered underwater turbulence which it often did, and was being thrown around resulting in the control room crew being flung from side to side while the camera rocks and the sparks fly from various panels and displays (though other parts of the ship, like the sick bay are never affected). Hedison’s account of how these scenes were filmed and choreographed using the lowest tech imaginable (a bucket and a spoon) is a story worth hearing.

You also have audio interviews with the show’s main stars, Basehart and Hedison dating from 1966 and a readable onscreen reprint of an issue of Gold Key’s 1964 comic book based on the programme which will definitely take those of us who were around in the sixties tumbling back in time on a wave of nostalgia.

All in all this box set is a hugely enjoyable romp back in time to a period when sci-fi on TV was actually upbeat and fun to watch. No dystopian future here, it’s all bright lights and technicolor.

And the good guys ALWAYS win.

Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea – The Complete Series 3 is out now on DVD

I was primed to hate Attack the Block, I really was. This is a film that came out earlier in the summer in the UK and had good reviews and was predictably compared to Shaun of the Dead. The film ended up only doing 2 million at the UK box office which is probably a bit below what the makers were expecting. The ‘heroes’ of the film are a bunch of south London hoodies who recently appeared on TV screens as looters across the country. This sad situation means that the film may even be avoided now it’s out on DVD. Also shortly after its UK release, Americans got wind of it and started to review it on the usual geek websites as it screened at festivals. The way our American film geek cousins talked about Attack the Block; it was as if Bruce Campbell directed a Star Wars sequel starring Nathan Fillion. They went lunatic for it, proclaiming the film to be the best film of 2011. I had online friends from across the pond quoting the film to me before I even saw it. This level of hyperbole usually guarantees I’m going to be disappointed in a film once I see it. I’m happy to report that whilst it’s not water into wine, Attack the Block is one of the most purely non stop entertaining films I’ve had the pleasure of watching in recent times.

The film begins in South London where Nurse Sam (Jodie Whittaker) is heading home after a long day. Sam is stopped and mugged by Moses (John Boyega) and his crew of wannabe gangsters who live on the same council estate as Sam. Moses and his group retreat from the scene of the crime and start to brag and laugh about their victory over a helpless woman. Suddenly a meteor crashes and destroys a car, a small monkey like creature attacks Moses and flees into a park. The group follow the creature into a dead end and kill it; they take it back to ‘the block’ as a prize that will make them famous. Once in the block they go to visit dope dealer/smoker Ron (Nick Frost) to see if they can store the carcass in his weed room. Ron agrees but makes Moses run it past local gangster and dealer Hi-Hatz (Jumayn Hunter) first. Hi-Hatz agrees but makes Moses become a cocaine dealer for him. Whilst celebrating this new arrangement the gang witness more meteors landing around their estate and assuming its more like the one they have already killed they go out to hunt down the creatures. To their horror the gang find that the ones that have just arrived are ten times larger and more viscous than the one they killed and they are swarming across their block. All the residents of the block; gangsters, stoners and even nurses have to band together if they are going to survive the night.

At the start of this film, I felt my teeth start to grind. It depicts a mugging and the sense of misguided entitlement that seems to be the problem with our youth today. I steeled myself to be annoyed greatly as the film went on but gradually I warmed to these characters. The way they talked was somewhat impenetrable for sure but after a while the speech patterns and modern day slang became charming and crucially very very funny. There is also a level of remorse projected by some of the characters over the mugging, especially after they find out that Sam is a nurse. As the plot goes on, the gang reveal hidden depths that you would not expect these sorts of characters to have. As a result you start to care more and more about them and when characters die (often horribly I might add) you genuinely feel bad for them. As the alien threat is presented and grows in size, there is talk from the gang about defending their community and standing up for the residents of their block to fight back. Its something that was sadly missing from real life recently where the London riots started being about something but then went on to be about opportunism. Ah if only life were like the movies. There is an attempt at a plot thread about the police arresting gang members on sight without provocation which comes to the boil come the ending, but this sadly feels a little half baked and shoehorned in. The film didn’t need it and had enough well thought out social relevance without this.

So social subtext and motivations out of the way, the story and plot move along at a great pace. There are scares galore as the monsters hunt the gang and rampage around the estate. The monsters have a really unique look as well; they are completely black hairy shadows with sharp luminous teeth. It’s unclear if this was a budget decision because black has got to be easier to animate with CG but it works. Whilst the film is not as gory as I would have liked, the monster attacks are quick brutal and savage. They reminded me of the werewolf attacks in An American Werewolf in London which so shocked me as a kid. This film was probably an influence on Joe Cornish as was The Lost Boys; the scenes where the gang get tooled up reminded me of that film and definitely made me sit forward in my chair. Obviously there isn’t much left new to say with the monster movie so spotting the influences and plot devices from other films is part of the fun. The musical score for example is very John Carpenter esque, but like his early 80s work given a modern spin and urbanized. The setting of a south London council estate was a smart decision, it’s not something we have seen before and allows for a real melting pot of characters from every background and race, Attack the Block has a broader appeal than you would think.

The young cast are all very impressive and believable in these roles. Its like Joe Cornish did a casting call on the streets or something and the cast all bring their best to the table. John Boyega as the leader Moses is impressive and has a kind of brooding intensity not seen very often in young British actors, we will see a lot more of this man. Jodie Whittaker is not an actress I am familiar with but she is great as the heart of the film. Whittaker has a real vulnerability and caring side that appeals to you and when she suffers at the beginning you really believe that this person did not deserve the mugging in any way and she is the person you root for. Nick Frost in a smaller role is his usual dependable self, often just using one line to walk away with a scene completely.

Attack the Block is great entertainment and it’s a shame it failed to connect with the very audience that would enjoy it the most. I think it was a case of wrong time wrong place with this one, but now it’s out on DVD it should gain fans as more and more people put aside their prejudice and enjoy the film for the damn fine piece of entertainment that it is. I can’t wait to see what Joe Cornish does next.

Extras: Two Audio Commentaries with cast and crew, Behind the Block, Creature Feature, Meet the Gang, Joe’s Massage, It’s a rap and Unfilmed action featurettes, trailer.

Attack The Block is released in the UK on DVD/Blu-ray september 19th

It seems that the French countryside is an increasingly nasty and dangerous place to be if the horror films coming out of France are to be believed. Over the last ten odd years we have had The Ordeal, Frontiers and Haute Tension all of which have put me off going to the land of cheese and wine for life. It seems that the disaffected French youth has learnt nothing from these films and is still going to the countryside to get slaughtered. The Pack is the latest in a long line of films that do nothing for the French tourist board and it’s a mish mash of about eight other films that never quite gels into a satisfying whole.

The film begins with young emo woman Charlotte (Emilie Dequenne) travelling the wilderness in her car, listening to shouty music and smoking herself to death. Charlotte is harassed by some bikers who seem to have rape on their minds so as an attempt at some kind of protection she picks up hitch hiker Max (Benjamin Biolay), the two of them hit it off and Charlotte’s harsh exterior starts to crumble a little as she warms to him. They stop at a road side café owned by large and menacing woman La Spack (Yoland Moreau) and are harassed again by the biker gang who catches up to them. La Spack saves both of them from rape with a shotgun and the bikers get the hell out of there. Charlotte and Max are starting to feel safe again when Max vanishes into the bathroom without a trace. Charlotte is left feeling confused and increasingly suspicious of La Spack’s evasive behaviour. Of course this being a horror film Charlotte ends up snooping around after closing, is promptly clocked over the head and awakes in a cage to find that she is going to be sacrificed to some kind of underground mole like mutants that live under a hill.

The problem is with The Pack is that writer/director Franck Richard feels like he is just ticking boxes from the horror films that influenced him as a youngster rather than telling a coherent story. So the film has weird sacrifice in the countryside right out of The Wicker Man, a missing person scenario right out of The Vanishing, strange torture porn as Charlotte is linked up to some kind of blood transfusion device that is never explained and also at one point becomes a horror siege movie like the Evil Dead films or From Dusk Till Dawn. All of these influences are presented in lieu of a script that actually flows nicely from scene to scene and builds tension. The creatures are right out of The Descent and admittedly are quite cool with a nice use of make up and actually give you the creeps. The problem is Richard has nothing to do with them once they are revealed and so the whole affair feels almost like a student film where Richard was proving what he could do if given a chance. This feeling is further compacted when at the end you realise that the film was barely an hour and ten minutes long.  There are also some bizarre editorial choices here, either through budget constraints or for some other reason. Every time a seemingly horrific event is about to take place, the camera suddenly cuts away sparing the audience from something horrifying. Even stranger when you consider what has come out of France in recent times, why would you choose not to show a mauling from strange creepy creatures if you are making a horror film?

Thus far this is Franck Richard’s only effort as a writer/director. I hate to run down a new filmmaker on his first time out so what’s good about the film? Well the way in which he shoots the French countryside is suitably creepy. The frame is filled with grey mist and you can almost feel the cold seeping in through every shot reminiscent of old Hammer horror films. Richard’s use of sound is also very impressive, especially during the siege sequence in an old cabin when guns are going off and the wind is whistling through the wood. The ending is also quite satisfying; despite feeling a bit seen it all before it feels like a suitable conclusion to the story. Emilie Dequenne is also a pretty nice looking leading lady and sells the tough emo chick thing at the beginning and then also the frantic victim role in the middle.

The Pack isn’t a bad watch when it comes on the Lovefilm streaming player or Film4 later in the year. It’s just something that doesn’t live up to the great blood soaked legacy of its countries recent output.

Extras: Making Of, Trailer

The Pack is out now on DVD

I really don’t see enough bad films. But by God when I see a stinker I see one that really fouls up the atmos. Welcome to ‘Curio’, a film so clumsy and diabolical you really have to wonder why in the name of Bernard Cribbins anyone in their right mind would decide it was worth inflicting on the public. ‘Curio’ is easily the most shambolic, amateurish, appallingly-acted excuse for a horror movie I’ve ever had the ignominy of sitting through. Come with me as I tell you why you should only use this DVD as a pizza-cutter should you find a copy lying in the street, flung furiously out of the bedroom window of a bitterly-disappointed horror movie fan…

For the first two minutes or so ’Curio’ looks decent enough. An American girl named Lauren (Jennifer Bryer) and her half-English daughter Emily (Sydney Wade) are travelling across bleak Yorkshire countryside en route to the remote cottage left to them by some deceased relative. Warning signs begin to flash; Jennifer Bryer can’t act – I mean, she’s not just a bad actress, she quite literally Cannot Act. She’s outperformed at every turn by young Sydney Wade, despite the fact the tot’s dialogue and actions are way older than her character’s years right the way through this debacle of a movie. No sooner do this mismatched pair arrive at the cottage than they’re visited by a local busybody who turns out to be a fortune teller. Her attempt at predicting Lauren’s future (a few more terms at acting school, perhaps?) go a bit wrong when the old dear starts babbling demonically and promptly drops dead. Lauren unwisely head butts an investigating Police officer and she and her daughter go “on the run”. Suddenly there’s a gunshot and Lauren’s down but sadly not out. She wakes up tied to a bed and being nurse-maided by a clearly-psychopathic farmer named Len (Wayne Russell) who is himself terrorised and demeaned by his off-camera mother who has a voice like a Dalek with a sore throat.

 So far, so appalling. And ’Curio’ doesn’t get any better, it gets appreciably worse. The rest of the film actually makes precious little sense and its cause is hardly aided by the irrational and nonsensical behaviour of its characters. Lauren, having woken up in a stranger’s bed and told her daughter is safe somewhere, doesn’t seem in a great hurry to be reunited with her child. In fact, she barely even mentions her. She also fails to act on the several opportunities which arise to escape creepy Len’s attentions, preferring to play leisurely, unhurried cat-and-mouse psychological games with him rather than Get The Hell Out Of There and find her daughter.

I’ll not lie to you, dear reader, my attention wandered towards the end of the film – there was a squirrel running up the tree in my front garden or something – so I can’t really tell you how or if ‘Curio’ ends well for Lauren and her daughter and I really didn’t care enough to wind the disc back to find out. With absolutely nothing to recommend this film beyond a vaguely-interesting grubby sub-Norman Bates performance from Russell as Len and some suitably angry soundtrack music from Blur’s Graham Coxon (slumming it here like never before) ‘Curio’, with its cheap production values, clumsy direction (from New York-based  chancer Stephen Nesbitt) and iffy acting (did I mention the iffy acting?) is a cinematic disaster of almost Biblical proportions and I implore you not to touch this disc with the proverbial bargepole.

Bonus features: Interview with Graham Coxon, stills gallery

 

‘Curio’ is released on DVD in the UK on 12th September. Form an orderly queue.

The first time I heard about director Gregg Araki was through the hallowed pages of Starburst when it was in print. Specifically Alan Jones’ reviews for films The Doom Generation and Nowhere; they always sounded really indie minded, shocking and anything but mainstream. This being the 1990s films were a lot harder to find back then and you didn’t have the proliferation of available delivery mediums you do now. Through a combination of BBFC censorship and Blockbuster video being the only means of getting films at the time, I sadly never saw these films. The first Gregg Araki film I saw was the acclaimed Mysterious Skin from a few years back which was a mature and moving piece but still somehow retained the independent spirit despite being his most mainstream work. His latest film Kaboom is a return to the weirdness of his earlier efforts. It seems that with Araki now entering his fifties he should perhaps concentrate on more mature works and move away from teenagers because truthfully Kaboom feels a little out of touch and like an older man riffing on more recent popular independent movies.

The film follows a young bi-sexual man by the name of Smith (Thomas Dekker) a college student who fantasizes about his surfer dude roommate. One night Smith has a dream in which he sees several people he has never met before on a path to a door with a 19 on it and a red dumpster behind it. Smith and his best friend, lesbian Stella (Hayley Bennett) go on a night out where Smith is accidentally given a hallucinogen and whilst tripping meets the object of Stella’s affection Lorelei (Roxane Mesquida) a girl who appeared in his dream. He then meets a girl named London (Juno Temple) in the bathroom and they start an affair based on casual sex. On the way back from London’s room, Smith sees a bunch of men in animal masks chasing after a girl (who was also in his dream) seemingly intent on killing her. He passes out and awakes the next morning not sure if what he experienced was real or imagined. Smith goes on an adventure that involves a conspiracy, witches, shady characters and other sexual encounters all around his nineteenth birthday and the very fate of the world.

The above synopsis is about as simple as I can make Kaboom sound. There are a number of characters that have important parts to play in the plot that I haven’t even mentioned. The film moves along very quickly with rapid fire dialogue, go to the toilet without pausing and you’ll come back with no clue what is going on. The way things unfold and what it all means is what kept me glued to the screen and whilst I was watching it, I’ll admit I had some fun. The problem is the whole thing feels very hollow. The films that Kaboom most resembles are Donnie Darko and The Rules of Attraction. It has a Donnie Darko style mind warp of a plot involving the end of the world and the youngsters sleeping around with little regard for anything (somewhat explicitly) whilst they chase the next high recalls the underrated The Rules of Attraction. As a result Kaboom doesn’t feel terribly original and is somewhat derivative of other better films.

I will say this about the film, it’s visually stunning. Every shot is well constructed with a real focus on the colours which pop out at you especially if you are lucky enough to have a good high definition TV at home. The dream and trippy sequences are well staged without resorting to ripping off other films too much. The soundtrack is also amazing, including great songs by artists like Placebo and Interpol. It’s a shame that this doesn’t seem available to purchase because it would be a great mix. Thomas Dekker making the graduation from television to films does well enough in the central role which must have presented a huge risk to the young actor. He plays a character somewhat confused and spaced out most of the time and sells this really well, drifting between encounters like a leaf on the wind. The other two standouts are actresses Hayley Bennett and Juno Temple, both playing funky chicks who it seems like would be fun to meet in real life.

I’m not sure I am the intended audience for this film but I had fun whilst watching it. It’s not something that will stay with you the way Mysterious Skin does but is enjoyable in its own derivative way. Donnie Darko remains the trippy teenage mind warp film for this generation.

Extras: None

Rating:

Kaboom is out now on DVD/Blu-ray

Back in the Sixties and Seventies, Spain enjoyed a lively notoriety among movie buffs for concocting awkward, off-beat, amusingly grotesque exercises in the horror genre. Think Paul Naschy, think Tombs of the Blind Dead. But those days have gone the way of the sombrero and the straw donkey, to judge by this elegant offering from writer/director Guillem Morales and producer Guillermo Del Toro.

Julia and her sister Sara (played by Belen Rueda with different hair) are both suffering from the same degenerative eye disease. Sara is the first to go blind. When she’s found hanging by the neck from a rope in the basement of her rambling house, the general assumption is that despair has gotten the better of her. But Julia becomes convinced that someone else was there to kick the stool out from under her feet, and is soon on the trail of Sara’s intriguingly mysterious boyfriend.

Lending urgency to her investigation is her own sense that she’s being watched by an elusive and sinister presence. A creepy caretaker warns: “He has no light. He knows how to be a shadow.” As her own eyesight falters, she plays cat and mouse with this phantom through labyrinthine hospital basements and cavernous car parks.

The result is a refined, smartly tailored entry in the stalker sub-genre – although, as the killer has a thing about cameras, we’re talking stalk and flash rather than stalk and slash. The storyline is a little conventional and lacking in emotional resonance, but the film compensates with style and the willowy, long-calved presence of Belen Rueda, who suffers beautifully in the lead role.

Morales mounts, shoots and edits his movie with a rather chilly bravura technique informed by the gialli of Dario Argento and Brian De Palma’s Hitchock homages. He borrows Argento’s trick of using a subjective camera to represent the faceless killer, and stages a climactic action set piece framed, a la Rear Window, in brilliant camera flashes. The result, just as with Argento and DaPalma, is contrived but undoubtedly luxurious, if lacking the perverse edge, the fire beneath the ice, to be truly memorable. Instead, it purrs along pleasantly, classy, assured but a trifle anonymous.

Julia’s Eyes doesn’t quite mesmerise in the way the best horror should, but it will appeal to fans of Argento and De Palma, and it’s certainly a refreshing change from the cheap, grimy torture porn that so often gets released these days.

Julia’s Eyes is released in the UK on DVD/Blu-ray September 12th

The first Hatchet film arrived in 2007 surfing a wave of hyperbole. The internet hyped director Adam Green as the future of horror and the films tagline was ‘old school American horror’. I’ve been burned before by this type of tag tied round a debut director’s neck before. So I wasn’t surprised when I saw the film that it turned out to be entertaining at best. The film had some nice gore but had too much frat boy humour and no tension whatsoever. I was about ready to write off Adam Green as another case of too much hype too soon but then he made a little film called Frozen. If you haven’t seen it, you really should. Frozen remembers the rule that most horror directors forget, if your characters aren’t likeable the audience won’t care and the tension evaporates. All the lead characters in Frozen are extremely well developed and have back story, it genuinely feels like a tragedy is unfolding before your eyes and as a result the film is suspenseful and tense getting a lot of mileage out of a simple premise. This felt like a major step up from Hatchet and I was looking forward to what Green had in store next. Sadly he decided to make a sequel to Hatchet and Hatchet 2 represents several steps back for the director.

The film begins with Mary Beth (Danielle Harris) having just escaped the murderous clutches of swamp ghost/maniac Victor Crowley (Kane Hodder). Mary Beth has gone into the swamp looking for her father and brother who disappeared on a fishing trip. She meets a local man who tells her that she should go seek out the voodoo priest Reverend Zombie (Tony Todd) to see if he can help her locate her relatives. The man reacts badly when he finds out Mary Beth’s last name and that she is related to a man who as a child was responsible for Victor’s death. Alone and afraid, Mary Beth makes it back to town and to Reverend Zombie who she asks for help. The Reverend is initially reluctant but eventually sees a way he can make money out of it by running tours through the swamp again and also intends to locate his missing boat (the crew and boat from the first movie). Zombie pulls together a band of lowlife hunters and fisherman to take on a trek with Mary Beth through the swamp to kill Victor Crowley once and for all. The shifty Reverend also has an ulterior motive that involves further members of Mary Beth’s family.

If you are looking for plot and suspense that synopsis is about all you are going to get. Adam Green’s primary motivation here is to make you gag at the horrendous gore as Victor Crowley despatches each member of the posse. So you get some inventive kills – death by power sander, death by gigantic chainsaw as it lifts two men off the ground by the groin and, erm… death by table. The film has some very meaty gore effects but they are so over the top that they bring you out of the film completely and all tension evaporates. It’s a triumph of old school make-up effects and if this was purely intended as a showcase then it succeeds. From the moment a man is decapitated by his own entrails you know what kind of a movie you are in for and if you don’t have some to hand you may wish to get some beer as that’s probably the best way to enjoy Hatchet 2.

Danielle Harris is an actress probably best known for her association with the Halloween films and she does a good job with what little character she is given. Harris has a real world weary look that comes across as real and the character takes no crap which is believable coming from an actress with her appearance. Genre veteran Tony Todd is having enormous fun as a lowlife voodoo conman and gets many of the film’s best lines. The rest of the cast is made up of people you will have seen in other low budget horror films all playing the atypical country bumpkin stereotypes we have seen countless times before.

I can’t remember the first film that well but Hatchet 2 is an ugly looking film whereas I think the first was shot on film and at least looked cinematic. This is shot on digital and it shows up so badly lending the whole thing an air of cheapness that doesn’t help matters. It’s also very obvious in certain scenes where they shot on soundstages instead of on location in the swamp, again this doesn’t help the film’s cause.

If this was 1992 and I watched the film with one hand down my pants whilst all hopped up on cherry coke then I probably would have loved it. Alas I am now a grown man and what entertained teenage me no longer cuts the mustard. Hatchet 2 represents a low point for Adam Green who can and should do better if he wants any kind of career longevity.

Extras:  None

Hatchet 2 is out now on DVD/Blu-ray

The impoverished Louis Mazzini (Dennis Price), lives with his mother in the humble surroundings of south west London, whilst his relations, the aristocratic D’Ascoyne family (all eight members played by Alec Guinness), exist in varying degrees of stately decadence far removed from the trials and tribulations of the everyday man.  The family disowned Louis’ mother when she married, as they saw, beneath her, and as a result cut Louis out of his inheritance and eventual succession to the dukedom.  When his mother dies Louis decides to take revenge upon the family whom he sees as having ‘murdered’ his mother.

Kind Hearts and Coronets, first released in 1949, simply improves with age and viewing.  It is pure, cinematic gold.  That it can be taken on several levels, comedy, social commentary or horror means that no matter how many times you have seen it, there is always a new gem to be discovered.

As a comedy it is as black as they come.  The witticisms which make this a humorous masterpiece literally fall over themselves, and Robert Hamer and John Dighton’s screenplay based on the novel by Roy Horniman is as sharp today as when the film was first released sixty years ago.  Take the rhyme Louis quips as he shoots down the hot air balloon in which his relation the insufferable suffragette Lady Agatha D’Ascoyne is flying in, “he shot an arrow in the air, she fell to earth in Berkley Square”.  Sheer bliss.

Or his snappy repost to Sibella’s (Joan Greenwood) description of the tediousness of her honeymoon with her new husband Lionel, whom she began to regret marrying before they’d even left the altar.

“Every time I wanted to go shopping Lionel dragged me off to a church or a picture gallery.  Said he wanted to improve his mind.”

“He has room to do so!”

However it is not just these acidic one liners, but also its depiction of social mores, which lift the film from the realm of simply another, all be it classic, period British film. The performances of the cast, both the leads, Price and Guinness, and the marvellous support from Joan Greenwood as the childhood friend who becomes Louis’ lover and goes on to orchestrate his downfall when he spurns her advances, and Valerie Hobson as the widow of one of Louis’ victims who eventually marries him (after a suitable period of mourning of course), are effortless and should be obligatory viewing for all aspiring actors.  Guinness undoubtedly steals his scenes – his ability to imbue each of the eight members of the ghastly D’Ascoyne family with enough individuality to make the viewer forget that they’re all played by one man, is a lasting testament to the skill and ability which made him one of cinemas greatest practitioners.

Perhaps more than Guinness however, it is Price’s performance as the icily aloof Louis, a scheming and heartless social climber, which is what, when it boils down to it, all he really is, that stays in the mind long after the film has ended.  That his character believes it just to mete out retribution on his relations because of what he sees as the social injustice they inflicted on him and his mother, does not justify his treatment of others which is actually no better. He is the archetypal snob, and finds his perfect foil in Sibella who, though initially finding the lowly status of Louis when they first meet as children inferior to her social standing, is quite happy to change her opinion when she sees the chance of becoming a duchess (the inconvenience of both her and Louis being married to other people seems to matter little to her upwardly mobile mindset).

These two aspects aside, it is the underlying vein of rich, ‘blue blooded’ horror which runs through the film, that makes it so memorable.  From the the appearance of chiller stalwarts such as Miles Malleson who, with zesty eccentricity, plays the hangman who takes a morbid delight in his job (he had appeared as the coachman in Ealing’s classic 1945 frightener Dead of Night, and would later show up in several Hammer productions during the 1960’s), and Price himself (his later horror appearances were numerous including 1973’s Horror Hospital and Theatre of Blood), to the aforementioned coldness of Louis and the inventive methods he uses to despatch the hapless members of the D’Ascoyne clan (everything from an exploding jar of caviar, to the shooting of his final victim who has been caught in one of his own man traps whilst out hunting).

Kind Hearts and Coronets, perhaps more than any other of Ealing’s prodigious output, perfectly encapsulates every aspect which made their productions so memorable, from razor sharp wit to faultless performances.  Let’s just hope that Hollywood and a certain Mr Hanks don’t see fit to try and update it. The D’Ascoynes would be turning in the family vault.

The film is currently on release in selected cinemas.  It will be released on digitally restored DVD and Blu-ray, including a BBC Radio 3 ‘British Cinema of the 1940s’ audio featurette, an introduction by director John Landis, the restored trailer and a behind-the-scenes stills gallery, from the 5th September.

It’s a sign just how bad that the 90s were for horror that the Scream films are considered by many to be among the best horror films that the decade had to offer. When they first came out I was right in the target demographic for the films and I, along with my friends, loved going to see them in packed cinemas so we could laugh and jump along with the rest, and groan when the killer was revealed. If there is one thing I have learned over the past couple of weeks, it’s that nostalgia can be a bitch. I was wary of this film and approached with caution.

Scream 4 picks up some twelve years or so after Scream 3. We find whiney Sidney Prescott (Neve Campbell) has now become a self help author and is on a tour to promote her latest book. The tour takes her to her hometown of Woodsboro where she again meets up with dopey Dewey (David Arquette) now a sheriff and his wife and former reporter Gail (Courtney Cox) who is suffering from writers block. Whilst on the tour Sidney stays with her cousin Jill (Emma Roberts) and her auntie. It’s not long before Sidney’s presence back in the town brings out a killer who wears the ghostface mask and speaks on the phone like a sex pest. Sidney is worried about her family and Gail sees the chance to get back into reporting. The new batch of teenagers are picked off one by one all whilst commenting meta style on endless sequels, reboots and remakes.

A lot has happened since the first Scream was a surprise sleeper hit back in ’97. Horror has come a long way. We have had the zombie resuscitation, torture porn, the hardcore un-ironic slasher and of course remakes galore. Looking back at the previous entries in the Scream series, the films seem positively quaint compared to what has happened since. The worst thing I can say about the previous films is that the commentary on the horror genre seemed a little smug, but the films themselves were great entertainment. For a little while writer Kevin Williamson became a household name between Scream and Dawson’s Creek, even though we all knew that no teenagers ever talked the way he wrote them. Surprisingly Williamson is apparently horrified at what Dimension films did with his script for Scream 4 and says that it doesn’t represent what he wrote initially, (an uncredited re-write was performed by Ehren Kruger). I have a feeling that this made by committee approach is probably the reason that Scream 4 isn’t quite as good as the first whilst being better than the second and third. The commentary on horror is here, the endless Saw sequels get a dig as do remakes and reboots. The script also finds the time to take in things like the nature of modern celebrity, blogging and social networking. The problem is all of the meta commentary feels very tacked on. It doesn’t feel organic as it should as part of the fabric of the film. Each time a character started talking and talking about the rules of a ‘rebootquel’ I rolled my eyes (apparently the only way to escape death now in a horror film is to be gay). What cut it in the 90s just isn’t good enough anymore I suppose. The irony here seems contrived as if it’s reaching desperately to be clever but not quite getting it. It’s like that friend everyone has who is super intelligent and could win instantly in a slanging match if he could actually articulate his thoughts into coherent speech.

Wes Craven seems to know he has a lot to live up to in terms of the way horror has gone recently so Scream 4 is packed with bloody violent death. It’s definitely the bloodiest of the four and this was quite surprising as previous entries have been quite tame. The film moves along at a rollicking good pace and there isn’t much time between slayings where smug teens can get all meta on the film. As with the previous films, there are red herrings galore and part of the fun is trying to guess who the killer actually is. All through the film I was certain it was one character, it just seemed too obvious though and then the rug is well and truly pulled for a reveal you won’t see coming that happens to be quite clever and relevant in this modern age.

Scream 4 is fun and entertaining it just doesn’t do anything new. The tagline reads ‘New Decade, New Rules’ but the small print reads ‘same old, same old’.

Extras: None

Scream 4 is out now on DVD/Blu-ray 

1940: the entire population of Friar, New Hampshire walks out of town on a trail through the wilderness. Some are discovered later, brutally murdered, but most of them are never found. So begins YellowBrickRoad, a straight to DVD movie that manages to heed the lesson taught to us years ago by the directors of The Blair Witch Project. If you have no money for your horror film then the woods is a scary scary place, especially at night.

After an effective prologue where we are shown some disturbing still photographs of the aftermath of the disappearance, we find ourselves in 2008 and Teddy Barnes (Michael Laurino) is obsessed with the Friar case. For years he has been trying to get the police files from the investigation but has been mired in bureaucratic red tape. One day the red tape is cut and Teddy gets the file, his obsession with the case grows and he sees opportunity to craft a book about the incident. With his wife Melissa (Anessa Ramsey) and colleague Walter (Alex Draper) they decide to mount an expedition out to Friar with a crew to see if they can gather some information from the locals and maybe walk the trail itself. The team are met with hostility by the locals, prior to setting out Teddy is plagued by threatening phone calls and when they arrive nobody is willing to speak to them. They are informed that the trail the residents walked all those years ago no longer exists. Feeling dejected and ready to pack it in they meet a quirky young woman Liv (Laura Heisler) who says she knows where the trail begins and can lead the team. The expedition heads out into the wilderness and after a day of heading north, strange feelings of despair and depression begin to emerge. Worst still everyone can hear ghostly old music emanating from an unknown source in the forest. Slowly the team start to experience homicidal urges and nobody is safe.

YellowBrickRoad is very good at conveying a sense of dread and impending doom. As the team descend deeper into the wilderness things feel increasingly hopeless. The allusions to The Wizard of Oz are enjoyable, it was the last film playing in the cinema in Friar before the disappearance and someone scratches ‘YellowBrickRoad’ into the dirt at the beginning of the trail. There are also a few instances when characters echo dialogue from the classic film. Unusually for a film that has debuted on DVD, the acting is brilliant. All the actors really sell their characters and are completely believable as they break down and either kill someone else or kill themselves. Best of all is Laura Heisler as the quirky young woman who lives in Friar, her transformation from young lonely townie to berry munching loon is fantastic. All of the usual horror film clichés make up the team that head into the woods – the obsessed investigator, the horny young couple, the psychology professor, the rugged outdoorsman etc. What is interesting is that once they are out in the woods, they don’t meet their doom in the order or manner you would expect. All of them become suspicious of each other and prone to manic outbursts in a manner that feels similar to John Carpenter’s The Thing.

If you are going to imitate two classic horrors you could do worse thanThe Blair Witch Project andThe Thing, but YellowBrickRoad has a problem that holds it back from greatness and it’s a huge one. After the set up and the cliché book is thrown out the window, the script has nowhere to go. The film meanders big time come the halfway mark and becomes repetitive. The directors Jesse Holland and Andy Mitton set the scene and the central conflicts and dilemma perfectly, but are then content to let the cast wander aimlessly in the woods without purpose and with the occasional brutal murder. You would think that there would be a way out or some form of catharsis for the characters to strive for. The characters in The Thing were going to take the monster with them if they couldn’t escape after all. There isn’t anything like that here, as you realise that the characters are not even going to try and escape all the tension is gradually sucked out of the film and you are basically watching a group of crazy people stumbling around with no purpose. The film comes back to life at the end with a suitably bizarre Lynch-esque finale, but it’s too little too late which is a real shame because so much of what came before was so good.

YellowBrickRoad isn’t a bad rental prospect it’s just a very frustrating one, but there is some enjoyment to be had here nonetheless.

YellowBrickRoad is out now on DVD