THE WORLD ACCORDING TO BLOFELD’S CAT
He sat quietly on his master’s lap, a Turkish Angora cat largely untroubled by dreams and schemes of world domination and destruction and generally unconcerned by the frequent interruptions to his cosy life by a certain MI5 secret agent whose name must remain a mystery because if publishers Tumbleweed aren’t going to risk the wrath of Eon Productions then we sure as Hell aren’t either.
Subtitled ‘Unofficial Musings from the Volcanic Lair’, this is a book which could very easily have just been called ‘Grumpy Old Cat’ and we could all have moved on with our lives. But it appears that Blofeld’s cat, after years spent skulking in volcanoes and secret subterranean bases, has developed an antipathy towards humanity second only to his owner. Blofeld’s Cat hates everything about the modern world and living in it and he digs his claws deep into the usual suspects, from reality television, tabloid newspapers, politics, children, supermarkets and even poor old seaside town Sidmouth. This, in essence, is the problem; there’s nothing particularly original about Blofeld’s Cat’s targets – he hates all the things that most right-thinking people detest in an increasingly-trivial twentieth-century world. There are odd references to his master’s activities and his struggles with... that secret agent... but most of it is just a string of familiar rants aimed at familiar irritations. A spryer, cleverer book might have made an attempt to present a skewed worldview from the perspective of a closeted cat who has spent much of his life pampered by a raving megalomaniac but instead we’re just treated to his furious opinions on package holidays, fast-food restaurants, musicals, astrology and, inevitably, dogs. It’ll raise a smile of recognition and agreement now and again and Adrian Teal’s witty illustrations provide some welcome relief from the one-note text, too much of which reads like the sort of tirade your Granddad might come out with at Christmas (which BC also hates) after one too many bottles of stout.
Inoffensive but entirely inessential, The World According to Blofeld’s Cat will take you no more than thirty minutes to rattle through. It might provide the odd smile or chuckle but it’s hard not to read the entry on page 26 – Cat Literature – and not come to the conclusion that BC’s despair at “what sort of simpleton would willingly hand over £7.99 of their hard-earned money on an insipid and derivative collection of feline anecdotes” might not be quite as ironic and self-deprecating as its authors might have intended in the circumstances. The World According to Blofeld’s Cat will set you back £7.99. It’s definitely not the cat’s meow and we’d advise you to paws before investing in this less than purrfect publication.
INFO: AUTHOR: BLOFELD’S CAT, MARK BEYNON, ALISTAIR BEYNON, CHRIS PAUL / PUBLISHER: TUMBLEWEED / RELEASE DATE: OUT NOW