Skip to content

PARALLEL

Written By:

Ian White
parallel

Parallel is based upon the thin but fleetingly interesting idea that there is a parallel universe which runs alongside our own, and in that universe our mirror-image twins are having more fun, terrorising more people and enjoying more violent sex than we are. Because our mirror-image twins are nasty and horny pieces of work.

 

When a loved-up young couple called Neil and Heather (David Magowan and Faye Sewell) meet Machlis (Brian Carter), a shifty looking medium who puts Heather under hypnosis so that she can see into the parallel world and vicariously watch and experience what her mirror-twin is doing (mostly getting off with a guy who isn’t Neil), their whirlwind romance begins to disintegrate faster than a muppet in an acid bath. Heather can’t get enough of her twisted mirror-twin so she begins visiting Machlis behind Neil’s back, and then Neil begins to visit Machlis as well, mostly because his mirror-twin keeps hooking up with a beautiful Eastern European femme fatale stereotype who’s into S&M and sounds like Natasha from the Rocky & Bullwinkle cartoons. But things go dangerously wrong when their real lives and their parallel lives collide and Neil inadvertently opens the doorway that lets their murderous mirror-twins into the ‘real’ world…

 

Or something like that. After the first couple of minutes we’d given up caring. Parallel is (thankfully) only 79 minutes long but it felt like the longest fortnight of this reviewer’s life.

 

It’s usually a very bad sign when a writer stars in his own script and writer/lead actor David Magowan does nothing to buck that trend. His screenplay is awful and his performance is even worse. In fact, all of the performances (with the very slight exception of Brian Carter) are excruciating to watch, and the actors are aided and abetted every step of the way by a director who barely knows which way to hold the camera. And let’s not even get started on the amateur-hour fight/sex choreography and the cacophony that’s called a musical score.

 

This writer doesn’t think he’s ever reviewed anything and given it a 0. This writer always try and find at least one positive thing to say about whatever he’s reviewing and, after giving Parallel a lot of thought, here’s the only positive this writer could come up with…

 

Yep. There isn’t one. This is the worst film this writer has ever seen. It is the cinematic (and we use that word advisedly) equivalent of the vengeful ex-girlfriend who sewed prawns into your curtains and six weeks later the smell was so bad you thought something had died under the floorboards. And you know what’s really annoying? That there are talented filmmakers and screenwriters out there who would sell their souls for the chance to make a no-budget feature and may never get the opportunity, and yet people who do get that opportunity squander it away on a turgid ego-driven car-crash like this. AVOID.

 

PARALLEL / CERT: 15 / DIRECTOR: IEVA MAKSELYTE / SCREENPLAY: DAVID MAGOWAN / STARRING: DAVID MAGOWAN, FAYE SEWELL, BRIAN CARTER / RELEASE DATE: OUT NOW


Ian White

You May Also Like...

chinese remake of anaconda drops trailer

ANACONDA Trailer Grants First Look At Remake Of 1997 Horror Flick

Three sequels and a spinoff-crossover film wasn’t enough for the 1997 creature feature Anaconda, which not only has a new movie in development, but is getting a Chinese remake! From
Read More
black widow star scarlett johansson in talks to lead new universal jurassic world film

Scarlett Johansson In Talks To Join JURASSIC WORLD Film

Another MCU star appears to be taking up the reins for Universal’s new Jurassic World movie: two-time Oscar nominee Scarlett Johansson is reportedly in talks to lead the franchise that
Read More

Exclusive Reveal! Titan Comics to Deliver Prehistoric Hysterics in First 2 DUMB DINOS Collection

Titan Comics have exclusively revealed to STARBURST that they’re gearing up to publish the first-ever collection of the hilarious cult digital comic strip 2 Dumb Dinos, and we’re not the
Read More

New Dates For Lovecraftian Key of Dreams

Key of Dreams has announced new spaces for its titular immersive luxury horror event. The critically acclaimed company is known for its overnight experiences that dunk you into a strange
Read More

FAB Café to Host Free Film Screening of New Indie Comedy SECRETS OF A WALLABY BOY

We’re well known for our championing of truly independent filmmakers here at STARBURST, so it’s doubly exciting to be writing about one of our own! After joining the crew in
Read More
colin farrell returns as oswald cobblepot in the penguin series trailer

Colin Farrell Returns In THE PENGUIN Trailer

Colin Farrell returns as Gotham City’s answer to Tony Soprano in the first trailer for Max series The Penguin, which spins out of the world of the 2022 DC film
Read More