MOVIE REVIEW: SHARKTOPUS VS. PTERACUDA / CERT: TBC / DIRECTOR: KEVIN O’NEILL / SCREENPLAY: MATT YAMSHITA / STARRING: ROBERT CARRADINE, KATIE SAVOY, RIBB HILLIS, MARIO CEARA / RELEASE DATE: TBC
Ho hum, another month, another monster shark movie. This time, we have what essentially is a Roger Corman version of Godzilla and Rodan Go Bananas meet Sharknado.
Mad scientist (aren’t they all?) Dr. Rico Symes (Carradine) crosses pterodactyl DNA with a barracuda creating a biogenetic monster that could be used as a bio-weapon. Of course, the creature escapes (security is always lax in these top secret labs) with the help of an evil, foreign secret agent (aren’t they all, too?) who gains control of the beast, but not before it terrorises the hammy extras throughout the film.
Meanwhile, at the Munoz Del Mar aquarium, biologist Lorena Christmas (Savoy) discovers a miniature Sharktopus that quickly grows, and – naturally - escapes. The two creatures know the sea is not big enough for the both of them, and a showdown takes place for supreme domination of the sea, devouring well-deserved bad actors along the way.
Even for this type of TV movie fodder, the CGI ranges from bad to laughable. O’Neill’s directing is flat and uninspiring. Yamashita’s script is weak, filled with bad scenes and even worse dialogue - which is a shame as he had promise with his earlier work on the far superior film Virtually Heroes.
There’s even a brief but bizarre cameo by talk show host Conan O’Brian, reportedly directed by producer Roger Corman himself, that seems out of place and tacked-on for filler or as a mere crowd pleaser.
Come the anti-climactic ending, you know - just like James Bond - Sharktopus will be back (Sharktopus vs. Mermantula is already in production). Like watching paint dry, we don’t think if we can stand the suspense.
Expected Rating: 5 out of 10