I’m Gonna Marry You Tobey Maguire is a theatrical genre play that was first performed Off-Broadway in 2023 and is now making its British debut at the Southwark Playhouse in London. Set in 2004, the play shows the early impact of the internet on fandom and attempts to provide a cautionary tale of what happens when online adoration slides into a parasocial relationship.

The phrase ‘parasocial relationship’ wasn’t in mass use in 2004, and so while that’s the intended theme of the play, it’s a point that is edged around throughout the narrative of the play. For anyone who remains blissfully unaware, such a term is used to describe a section of fandom where fans believe that they know everything about a celebrity and that, if they could only meet them, they would become, at least, friends and at best, enter into a romantic relationship with them.

In those terms, then, fourteen-year-old Shelby Hinkley (Tessa Albertson), who lives in the land-locked midwest US state of South Dakota, best known for being the home of Mount Rushmore, is the very definition of a fan whose adoration has tipped over into something more dangerous. The self-appointed president of the Tobey Maguire fan club, Shelby has managed to not only track Spider-Man star Tobey Maguire’s movements but, thanks to a serendipitous school trip to Los Angeles, has been able to kidnap him and lock him in the basement of her parents’ house.

It’s an opening that doesn’t serve to endear us to Shelby, as, like Tobey (Anders Hayward), we go through the realisation that this is real, he’s not hallucinating under the influence of dental drugs, and that Shelby intends to not only keep Tobey in the basement but also to marry him.

Albertson is superb – she really embodies the teenage sense of confusion and struggle to deal with big emotions. Whilst the opening of the play does little to make us sympathise with her, as the action continues, it becomes obvious that there are deeper issues under the surface that have manifested in the only thing Shelby can control – her obsession with Tobey. While the audience, and Tobey himself, may be able to see that this is unhealthy and extreme, because Shelby is only fourteen, she is unable to realise the full impact of her actions.

Anders Hayward, as Maguire, has an immensely tricky job. He bears a passing resemblance to the Spider-Man actor as he looked in the early noughties and has a good go at playing the role with Maguire’s mannerisms. But his task is complicated by the many negative traits of Maguire’s character – some of which are based in truth, some of which appear to have been imagined by writer Samantha Hurley.

Maguire is also somewhat two-dimensional as a character. Hurley has already shown a willingness to embellish aspects of the ups and downs of the real Maguire’s life – surely he could have been given more interesting dialogue? And a few more brain cells?

It becomes obvious that both Shelby and Tobey have constructed a persona for themselves that is based on a series of lies. In a bid to appear more serious, Tobey has told multiple interviewers that his favourite movie is Citizen Kane when, in fact, it’s Shrek. Shelby tells Tobey that her dad has died – the truth is more disturbing. The revelation of that truth in the closing minutes of the play adds to the chaos of the denouement, which contains moments of slapstick that suggest a level of farce the play otherwise fails to realise.

There’s a particularly strange sequence in which Hayward, playing Maguire, dressed as Spider-Man, directly addresses the audience and engages in a mostly improvised conversation with an audience member concerning the negatives of fame and celebrity. It’s potentially interesting as a programme note, but it adds nothing to the narrative here.

The internet has revolutionised the fan experience. Unlike decades ago, when fans could possibly connect through fanzines exchanged through the post and slash fiction sent in plain envelopes, fan to fan, the internet means that fans everywhere can connect and form networks.

Shelby’s real friends exist on the internet, but this script wants to suggest that this is inherently problematic, rather than an opportunity for people to find other members of their own ‘tribe’, or those with whom they share common interests. Not afforded the opportunities presented by living in a large city, Shelby’s existence in small-town America means that the internet has revolutionised her life, allowing her to find people who don’t bully her, who do support her, and who actually care about her.

There was a real opportunity to hear other members of Shelby’s ‘Tobey Maguire Fan Club’ speak. We’ve already been supplied with a third member of the cast: Kyle Birch, who appears to be having the time of their life as the embodiment of a giant poster of Maguire and, later, as real estate agent Brenda Dee Cankles. Cankles, in particular, is a difficult role, and one which seems only to exist to provide an ending to the play’s story. Birch is simply superb in a role which requires them to deliver an astonishing amount of dialogue at an incredibly fast pace whilst channelling the spirit of the real estate agents we’re now all so familiar with from multiple reality TV shows.

Mention must be made of set designer Rodrigo Hernandez Martinez, who has done an incredible job of recreating a teenager’s bedroom circa 2004. The walls of the entirety of the Little Theatre in Southwark Playhouse’s Borough venue have been covered by copies of seemingly every poster of Tobey Maguire ever produced before 2024.

The design spills out into the theatre’s bathrooms and bar area, encouraging us to immerse ourselves in nostalgia for our teenage days and our burgeoning understanding of who we were and what we liked.

There’s an intriguing story to be told here – but it’s unclear if it’s the one we’re being shown. Maguire’s presence makes this entire exercise one of an acted-out RPF (Real Person Fic), and with both lead characters being aware that they are in a play, somewhat of an exercise in ‘meta’, or perhaps postmodernism. There’s also potentially an interesting point being explored about intergenerational behaviour and how parents influence their children – but this, in common with other points, is underdeveloped.

The ending doesn’t make a great deal of sense, and Shelby is too manic as a character, especially in the closing scenes. Are we being asked to judge her? Or to empathise with her? Why are we being asked to judge the behaviours of a traumatised child or to judge her by the standards expected of adults?

This play has a strong premise – what happens when a fan’s obsession goes too far? But in attempting to condemn Shelby entirely, there’s too little for us to be able to grip onto to make us want to care about her inevitable downfall.

I’M GONNA MARRY YOU TOBEY MAGUIRE continues at The Little, at the Southwark Playhouse’s Borough venue, until August 10th, 2024