A hard sell, this one: a faux-documentary about a semi-celebrity inbred hillbilly and his equally deformed family who live together on a zombie infested farm selling moonshine infused pickles. With its ultra-low-budget and complete lack of interest in remaining palatable to audiences (maybe bypass the popcorn this time around), Hans Crippleton: Talk to the Hans is about as ‘indie’ as indie cinema gets. Embrace that cheap grotesquerie, however, and what you’ll find is one of the most dementedly original backwoods subgenre movies you’ll ever see.
It’s essentially Honey Boo Boo meets Borat by way of a Texas Chainsaw Massacre sequel (probably the one with Matthew McConaughey), as horror TV presenter Barnaby Hunt meets the Crippleton family at their remote rural farm. There’s rising star Hans, brainless Bo Selecta lookalike Cousin Bumpkin, the one legged, well, One Legged Sis, obese MaMa Crippleton and the creepy surgeon who acts as the family’s doctor and resident inventor. A bunch of drooling idiot stereotypes and walking, talking near-the-knuckle jokes, it’s a vein of humour that will offend as many who find it to be hilarious.
Its divisive writing (effective, whether you’re appalled or amused by it) is backed up by strong performances across the board and some truly repulsive special effects work. Reminiscent of The Evil Dead or early Peter Jackson, it’s like an Adult Swim cartoon made reality – there’s no interest in being scary, but it certainly brings the requisite gore and schlock.
Inevitably, not all of the jokes do land, and its runtime feels a little long for what it is, but Hans Crippleton is a work of independent cinema to be celebrated: original, funny and surprisingly heartfelt. By the end of it all, you’ll want to be a Crippleton too. Good talk, Hans.
HANS CRIPPLETON: TALK TO THE HANS / CERT: TBC / DIRECTOR: JIMMY LEE COMBS / SCREENPLAY: KEVON WARD / STARRING: KEVON WARD, ANDY HANKINS, HEATH C. HEINE, KATIE BEVARD / RELEASE DATE: VOD OUT NOW
