Review: Wrong Turn 5 / Cert: 18 / Director: Declan O'Brien / Screenplay: Declan O'Brien / Starring: Doug Bradley, Camilla Arfwedson, Simon Ginty / Release Date: January 28th
There's a point, in the latest Wrong Turn film, where one character turns to another and says, “Another wrong turn, huh?” Yes, another, and the procession of stupid victims with crap navigational skills shows no sign of abating anytime soon. Just buy a sat nav already.
Bloodlines is a sequel to last year's prequel, Bloody Beginnings. On the run from their trashed mental hospital home, the three cannibalistic, inbred brothers stalk the woodlands near a small West Virginian town, assisted by carer Maynard (Bradley, but apparently the same character as portrayed toothlessly by Wayne Robson in the first two movies). When Maynard is run over and arrested by a well-meaning local Sheriff (Arfwedson), the boys will stop at nothing to get him back. What ensues is like Assault on Precinct 13 crossed with a more conventional Wrong Turn movie.
Those looking for artistic merit in Wrong Turn 5 will find little to enjoy. It's cynical, lazy and cheap. Stupid, cruel and nasty. It's badly written, badly acted and only passably directed. It is, however, one of this Wrong Turn fan's favourite entries – the very definition of a guilty pleasure. The film takes place around the town's annual Mountain Man Festival, a fancy dress celebration of inbred hillbillies everywhere. A passing contingent of stupid teenagers find themselves caught up in the muties' raid upon the police station when one of their number is also arrested along with Maynard. With the mutants free to come and go as they please (it's a town with about two cops to its name), it looks to be the last wrong turn these kids will ever make.
As locals, teenagers and cops are quickly and very violently knocked off one by one, Doug Bradley (Pinhead!) sits in his cell, sneering maliciously at everyone – including his own hillbilly family. His Maynard is incredibly underused, but he brings some much needed class to the project (if only by Hellraiser osmosis, since this is not a great performance). Meanwhile, the kill sequences are reliably gory and inventive. There's nothing to match Bloody Beginnings' fondue scene, but a bit with a thresher and a football field is a highlight. There's also a truly disgusting intestinal dinner scene and a gag made from duct tape and a shotgun. What it lacks in intelligence and plot, it makes up for in gleeful offensiveness and Doug Bradley looking like a grubby John Locke from Lost.
Ultimately, Bloodlines delivers everything you'd expect from a straight-to-DVD Wrong Turn sequel. It's crass, exploitative, extremely violent and very stupid. Fans should love it, then.
Extras: Audio commentary by Declan O'Brien / Director's die-aries / 'A Day in the Death' clip / 'Hillbilly Kills' clip