Directed and co-written (with Andy Silverman) by Tyler Russell, Cyst is a throwback to the splattertastic films of the ‘80s and ‘90s and stars one of the ‘heroes’ of that time, George Hardy (Troll 2). Not one to piss on hospitality, he plays Dr Guy, who specialises in treating boils. He’s invented a machine (the Git-Gone) that will painlessly get rid of the problem. He just needs to get the patent agreed. As the patent team come in – it’s their second visit as the first demonstration went wrong, with Nurse Patricia (Eva Habermann) having the scar to prove it – things go even worse and a gloopy puss-filled monster is soon on the rampage in his clinic.
The creature and other effects are sickeningly great, and we’re sure the pimple-popping fetishists will get their rocks off but the gross-out purulence could be a little too much even for die-hard horror freaks, with one gag repeated a little too often. It’s a shame that once the discharge monster arrives and goes on the rampage (it looks like a cross between The Green Slime aliens and Peter Gabriel’s Slipperman costume from during his Genesis years), the film becomes more of an ‘escape the creature’ flick and some of the humorous banter takes a backseat. It’s all filmed incredibly well, though, with Nick Gardner getting the most from the limited location.
As a pastiche, Cyst works well, but even at just under 70mins, there’s not much substance. It would have made a killer short film, but Russell attempts to squeeze out too much and the result is generally fun, but could be punchier. That said, there’s certainly a cult market for this, and no doubt it will find its fans. Make sure you stick around for the post-credit scene, as it’s one of the best gags of the film.
