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CHARLIE’S ANGELS

Written By:

John Townsend
angels

CHARLIE’S ANGELS / CERT: 12 / DIRECTOR & SCREENPLAY: ELIZABETH BANKS / STARRING: KRISTEN STEWART, NAOMI SCOTT, ELLA BALINSKA, ELIZABETH BANKS, PATRICK STEWART / RELEASE DATE: MARCH 23RD (VOD), APRIL 6TH (DVD/BLU-RAY)

There is something inherently silly about Elizabeth Bank’s franchise reboot of Charlie’s Angels. The characters are woefully shallow, the set pieces are reminiscent of over-stylised rap video montages and the plot surrounding a potentially weaponisable renewable energy source is ludicrously hole-ridden. And yet, largely through stronger-than-you’d-expect performances and some fun action sequences, this unnecessary update is pretty good fun.

The central message is unashamedly -and why shouldn’t it be? – written in bold and emphasised from the very beginning. Women can do anything and that is clearly a good thing, but the strength of that message gets lost time and again due to throwaway, often clumsy writing seemingly intended to hammer it home with tedious repetition.

The premise now is that the Angels are no longer a small, secret entity but a global network with unlimited funding. The unseen Charlie Townsend is discarded for a team of Bosleys (in the original, John Bosley was Charlie’s right-hand man) played by Patrick Stewart, Djimon Housou, and writer/director Elizabeth Banks amongst others. Now, these highly trained operatives travel the world righting wrongs.

The main issue is that on the back of the Mission: Impossible series, and even the testosterone-injected remake of The Man From U.N.C.L.E. Banks’ film feels underwhelming and something of a missed opportunity. Yes, it’s fun in places, but there needs to be more. Where is even the vague semblance of tangible plotting to build around, with a smidgeon of witty dialogue? Where is the adrenaline-fuelled action and the glitzy visuals? Banks has strived for these action genre tropes but either through a lack of confidence or commitment has disappointingly veered off target.

There are positives, largely in the performances of both Stewarts; Kristen who genuinely seems to be enjoying her return to mainstream cinema and Patrick who chews the scenery in a way that implies the on-set catering was another element that missed its mark. Without the former, this relaunch would have been a much more turgid affair. The character of Sabine allows Stewart space to demonstrate her comic timing and action credentials as she dominates every scene she is in. Even when armed with some terrible one-liners and attempts at ‘banter’, Stewart remains consistent and perhaps only she emerges largely unscathed.

As disappointing is it is, the almost 2-hour runtime passes pleasantly enough although one viewing will most certainly be enough for any lifetime. This is a film that has its moments, but those moments are so sparingly scattered as to undermine the film’s reason for being.

John Townsend

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